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The Shadow of his Heart	By : Catspeaker Category: +G through L > The Loud House Views: 12692 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Lola Loud leaned back in her desk chair as she brought her Chai latte up to her lips, breathed on it to cool it down and took a sip. It was a quiet moment in the evening for the Vice President of the school, time to see how her various schemes and plans were going.
After her roommate and twin Lana moved out and received her own room Lola had went to work claiming their once shared space completely for her own. The wall colors had already been a soft pink and didn’t require much more on her part, she’d just moved the rest of her things throughout the space like an empress annexing new territory. The dolls and stuffed animals she once played with as a child and hosted tea parties with now rested in a place of quiet dignity on her shelf. She still occasionally asked for their opinions on matters playfully. She had never really left her ‘Princess’ phase simply toned it down as she’d gotten older.
At 14 years of age and a Freshman in Highschool Lola may have quit the Pageant circuit two years ago but there was one lesson she took from it she held in her heart. Beauty was power. And Lola had Beauty in spades.
Wars had been fought for the beautiful. Nations had risen and fallen for the beautiful. The beautiful were seen as more intelligent, more capable, more charismatic than others even if they were not. Beauty was a tool, and it was the most powerful tool in Lola’s arsenal.
But Lola was no low brow sex pot showing off her cleavage or wearing skirts that were too short. She didn’t flirt with her teachers or seduce men to get what she wanted. That was beneath her and that was quite frankly low brow and crude. That was using beauty as a weapon, not a tool. Lola turned up her nose and looked down on women and girls who used their sexuality in such a way. It could be an effective weapon against most men, but it never won you respect.
Lola’s beauty was that of a Princess, or a Queen. One that inspired others and lifted their hearts. One that brought awe and made others want to listen to her and see her happy. She presented the face of a pure hearted noble who only wished and wanted the best for her subjects. Her subjects who were so eager to be favored with her beauteous smile.
Of course, it was all a well-rehearsed act on her part. Well, not a complete act, Lola did enjoy playing up that role and saw it as a legitimate part of herself, but it was not some natural well spring of goodness that sprang from her heart. It was coldly calculated, precise and logical to have the maximum impact on everyone around her.
Lola knew how to play people as well as her older musician sister Luna played guitar. This had served her well in life always making sure she, and by extension those she cared about, came first and got what she wanted.
It may have surprised those who knew just how manipulative and Machiavellian Lola could be, that much of what she did came from a place of love. Lola may have been a little selfish, but she genuinely loved her family and friends. She wanted nothing but the best for all of them, even if they didn’t know what was best for them.
But that was where she came in, and if she had to nudge something here or put in a word there, make a few phone calls and get things done without the people she cared about ever realizing it? Well, she didn’t require any thankyous, seeing them follow the plan she set out for them was reward enough.
Much as she was on track to completely rule her High School, Lola was not a ‘mean’ girl either. She absolutely despised bullies and preferred using her powers to uplift others rather than tear them down. Her enemies were more than capable of tearing themselves down in the face of her natural charisma. Oh, that and it just seemed as if Karma turned on them and everything went wrong in their lives too. Like fate itself was punishing them for daring to cross the beautiful princess Lola Loud. She was the popular girl even the unpopular social outcasts liked, and Lola knew how useful those so called ‘nerds’ and ‘dorks’ could be if you actually treated them like human being’s worthy of dignity and respect.
Yes, those who crossed Lola Loud or those she loved were stricken by fate itself, as if God had decided to smite them. Really though, when you had so many social connections and knew how to grease the right wheels you might as well be Fate or a God yourself. Or just royalty. That was fine too.
Lola commanded an ever-growing network of allies and assets; one she’d been cultivating since childhood. The old expression you could catch more flies with honey than vinegar was another adage she subscribed to. Knowing so many people meant she could help them provide favors for one another, and therefore have them owe favors to herself. When favors didn’t work, sometimes blackmail was necessary, but that was always a last resort.
One of her greatest set of assets was her siblings naturally, almost all of them were skilled in their own ways and only increased in value as they grew older, and their skill set more in-depth. Today some of her siblings’ skills were coming in handy for the project she had set for herself.
The complete destruction of the life of one Melanie Zheng.
Melanie had made a grave mistake.
She had broken the heart of Lola’s dear sweet brother Lincoln.
Lola normally didn’t interfere or take revenge when it came to her siblings love lives. They had to learn and grow on their own. But Melanie had made the mistake of being an absolutely annoying bitch that had abused and stepped on her brother for 8 months, while also cheating on him.
You did not do that to anyone in Lola’s family. Break up with them? Sure. That’s life, and life is tough and cruel. But to string them along and not even have the decency to break up with them before you went to add more notches to your bed post? That was where you crossed the line.
There were three members of the Loud family Lola saw as too pure and innocent for their own good. Her older sister Leni, her older brother Lincoln and her youngest sister Lily. Those three were her cinnamon rolls. You did not FUCK with her cinnamon rolls. Only she and her other siblings were allowed to cause them distress.
Out of the three, Lincoln may have been the most able to take care of himself, but he wasn’t a vindictive person. Her sweet brother went through life forgiving and forgetting rather than realizing some people NEEDED to be punished and shown the error of their ways. Melanie would see that error, and she would know it had come from her behavior, that was the important part.
Much as it seemed as if the world itself turned against her enemies, Lola always made sure they KNEW she was the one who orchestrated their destruction. Oh, there was never enough evidence for them to truly point to her, to finger her as the culprit, but they always knew she was responsible.
It had been about a month since Lincoln’s break up, and in that time Lola and her siblings had not rested on their laurels. Thanks to the efforts of Lisa and some computer hacking, Lana doing some good ole fashioned stalking, and a few calls to Lori for some legal inquiries as well as some requests using the freedom of information act, they’d managed to put together a pretty detailed profile of Miss Zheng’s life.
Lola had called in a favor with a Janitor at Royal Woods community college to get access to some more files, and a friend down at the Secretary of State to pull some legal records.
The young mastermind put her Chai latte down and steepled her fingers looking at the information allayed before her. A malicious grin coming across her lips. Lola truly did enjoy enacting revenge.
It was always so fortunate that people like Miss Zheng also provided Lola with so much ammunition for her to use against them. Through her various skullduggery Lola had discovered miss Zheng was sleeping with one of her Professors to pass a class, using money from her position as a diversity officer for personal expenses, and buying assignments off other students.
There was plenty of other little things she did that were morally reprehensible, but nothing else that was outright illegal. The exposure of any one of those would be enough to ruin part of her life, but that wasn’t enough for Lola. Lola needed this girl to really suffer.
Because this girl also represented what Lola hated.
Melanie was a beautiful girl like Lola, but rather than use that beauty responsibly, Melanie threw it around and exchanged it for goods and services like a cheap whore. Lola despised whores. No not actual prostitutes, while she didn’t agree with the practice, if a woman wanted to take money for offering her body up then that was her choice. It was honest at least.
But a woman who used sex to get ahead in life? Used sex to get what she wanted? That cheapened all women as far as Lola was concerned. Men were so easily manipulated by sex. It was like a cheat code for life. Spreading one’s legs to get what they wanted or hinting at the promise of spreading one’s legs in exchange for what you wanted, that only encouraged the base and worst men in the world too.
That wasn’t what Beauty was meant for.
The Question was, where to start?
Well, probably by getting her expelled from the college. That way her naïve brother wouldn’t have to keep seeing her around campus. She knew the constant reminder of her, and the fact he still shared a class with her was probably a splinter under his skin.
Getting the girl expelled wouldn’t be enough, but it would be a start to things.
Bringing her hands down to the pink laptop in front of her she began to type up a few emails to the right people while adding the right documents. Lola had more than a few dummy email accounts with scrubbed IP addresses that she used to send sensitive information with. These emails would get the ball rolling and she could proceed to phase 2 of revenge when Melanie was on the outs at school.
After she’d finished there she turned her attention to the matter of Lincoln himself.
Her brother didn’t know this, but Lola had already decided he wasn’t going to State University. He also wouldn’t be going to Royal Woods community college next year either, no matter what their parents wanted.
No, it was time for young Lincoln to be free of the demands of his family and be allowed to start his own life. She would be here to watch over things and take over the position of head of the house after he was gone.
Besides, at Wolverine University he would have Lynn with him, and Lynn would keep him safe and give him someone close so he wouldn’t be completely alone. He’d be free to visit on the weekends, but she was sure in time he’d make enough friends and be busy enough he wouldn’t need to.
Of course, he would miss Clyde, but their friendship would survive being apart for a few years, the two could get an apartment together when they were young graduates thirsty for their first jobs. Lincoln needed to be on his own for once. Lola had decided that.
She also knew he needed to be at the best school possible for the degree he was going for. She really would have preferred him to get something that would guarantee his future financial independence, but she knew he wanted to follow his ‘heart’.
And maybe having a Journalist in the family would be useful when she was working her way up the Political ladder. Lincoln was ever so good at figuring out things, finding the truth behind events, and unraveling secret plans. So good she had to be extra careful with her own plans around him. In a way they had sharpened one another’s skills over the years.
She’d tried to figure out a nice girl she could introduce him too, someone who would be capable of appreciating his delicate heart but had been drawing blanks. Lola was ready to put that issue on the backburner for now until she had a recent conversation with her eldest sister Lori.
Apparently, Ronnie Anne was back on the market. More than that, Bobby and Lori were committed to making Lincoln and Ronnie Anne friends again. It was something Lola agreed with, it really was for the sake of Lori and Bobby’s children.
But Lola saw it as the opportunity it really was. Oh of course she knew it would be what everyone would be thinking when they were speaking again, ‘maybe they’ll get back together’. But everyone else would be to afraid to push and manipulate things. To afraid of jinxing it and causing trouble. But not Lola. Lola was quite certain with her influence they would get back together.
Ronnie Anne was a perfectly suitable girl for her brother. Strong, fierce, protective and feminine underneath her bluster. The time apart from one another was probably exactly what they needed to mature and realize how good they had it when they were together. That scheme would have to wait for the moment, but Lola was already cooking up a few ideas to get that ball rolling.
There was the matter of something else she was becoming a little worried about though.
That was Lucy.
Lucy and Lincoln had been spending an awful lot of time together since the breakup with Melanie.
Lucy and Lincoln had always been close growing up, normally it wouldn’t have triggered any suspicions on Lola’s part, but there was a slightly marked change in their behavior towards one another. Just something about the interactions between the two she didn’t see as emotionally healthy. It also seemed to be going past the point of just helping him recover from his breakup.
The two were spending more and more time together, more time than Lucy even spent with her best friend Haiku. With Lucy on his arm all the time Lincoln would be less available to other women. Which, given Ronnie Anne was going to be back in his life soon wasn’t necessarily a problem, but it was just the way the two spent their time together that gave Lola concern.
It was almost like he was developing a co-dependent relationship with her. No friends and no girlfriend, Lucy was of course the person he was closest to now outside of Lily. And as much as Lily loved him and shared his interests, she wasn’t a peer. Lucy was his peer.
That’s why getting Lincoln out of the house and into Wolverine University was so important. The last thing she needed was her big brother becoming completely emotionally dependent upon one of his sisters.
Especially Lucy.
Lucy probably didn’t see anything wrong with Lincoln coming to rely on her for everything, and that worried Lola.
Maybe she needed to force some space between them. Lincoln had 4 other sisters living with him besides Lucy after all. They deserved some time with their big brother too. She’d just have to make a few arrangements here and there, a little nudge and Lincoln could get a much needed breather from that dark embrace which was practically smothering him at this point.
Well, that was enough plotting and planning for now. Now she could relax and watch Prison Pageant.
Really, what would her family do without her?
Section Break
The last month or so had seen changes to Lincoln’s life he really hadn’t experienced before. A new way of living that was different from the way his previous life had been. He knew it had all really started with Melanie and his breakup with her. But it went further back before that as well. For most of the life Lincoln could recall, his best friend and constant companion had been Clyde, and after Clyde left it had been Melanie. While he had been completely devastated by the loss of Melanie and lonely without Clyde, he’d found a real new friend because of it.
Well, there was nothing new about her.
He’d known her for most of his life and all of hers after all. Lucy and he had always been close as far as Lincoln remembered, he’d always felt protective over the little goth while she was younger and had always felt a kinship with her as the two most ‘different’ siblings in the house.
But over the years they had drifted slightly apart, caught up in their own lives with their own friends and activities. Maybe it was around when he turned 15 when they had really separated from one another. Lincoln had really gotten caught up in being a teenager, complete with a girlfriend and an active High School life. He never neglected her outright as far as he knew, but he had spent less time helping her with poems and her activities in the mortician’s club. She had returned to the state of being one of his many sisters, all of whom he loved, but one he was certain would thrive without his help.
After everything that had happened he had begun to regret that separation between them. He hadn’t realized how much he missed her until now. She really was quickly becoming his favorite person, and he now found himself looking forward to coming home and seeing her every day.
Could he be blamed for it though? She was like Lily, she was always happy to see him, and always greeted him with warmth and affection. More, unlike Lily she could talk to him on a purely intellectual level and go places and do activities with him Lily couldn’t. She was his equal in all ways, and that was important.
The last few weeks they had gone out together more than several times and often also just enjoyed spending evenings together in. He was just as happy watching something with her, going out with her, or quietly existing next to her while they both read.
At the same time though, it was also making him feel…Guilty.
Very guilty, and it was beginning with the way he was starting to think and feel around her.
It was…weird that his younger sister was becoming his best friend. He could understand why Lola and Lana were, they were twins. Even with them both having separate rooms they still spent most of their free time together.
Lori and Leni had always been close, so much so Leni had taken it particularly hard when Lori moved out, but they had their daily calls with one another and—
Okay, maybe it wasn’t weird his younger sister was becoming his best friend.
He still loved Clyde of course, Clyde was his bro, but Clyde was away and Lucy was here, and he was just having so much fun with her. She made him feel so happy now just with her presence. It was like he knew things would be good when they spent time together.
What was making him feel Guilty then? Siblings could be each other’s best friends. So why was he feeling weird and guilty about it?
He knew what it was, he just didn’t want to face it. He couldn’t give it voice, he couldn’t think about it, when he did his heart felt tight in his chest and he was reminded of how pathetic and sad he was. Feelings of shame and self-loathing would fill him the moment his mind went…there.
And he was glad for it. He needed that shame, he needed that self-loathing, he needed that self-hatred to keep himself honest. To keep himself from indulging in a useless fantasy, to keep his sister safe from himself.
When he was with her, he couldn’t think of anything else but her. Her beautiful and mysterious smile, her alabaster skin, her cute sighs, soft golden hair and her beautiful beautiful blue eyes, when she let him see them. When he was with her, everything in the world was right and good, he felt like he could take on anything. When he was with her now, he smiled more, laughed more, and enjoyed himself more.
But the moment he was out of her presence the self-loathing, hatred and revulsion at himself would come back. She could never know the secret that was growing in his heart day by day. The festering emotional corruption. If he didn’t think about it, he could be okay, but when his mind went there it was necessary to hate himself.
He was relieving himself in the bathroom when it happened. It was night and Lucy had already gone to bed, Lincoln had spent the evening with her watching Sorcerer for Hire and Vampires of Melancholia in their back-to-back presentation. The episodes had been good and then Lucy and he had excitedly talked about their favorite parts as usual, and guessing what would happen next episode. After that Lucy had decided to use the bathroom for a late-night shower before bed. She’d kissed him good night, softly on his lips like she usually did, and then retreated up the stairs.
At this point Lincoln had realized he’d been kissed more on the lips by Lucy than any of his girlfriends. Even if they were mostly innocent kisses. It was something that was still a little strange to him, but he was starting to look forward to more and more.
After she was finished, and he heard her bedroom door close he realized he’d needed to relieve the call of nature himself.
As he’d finished taking a piss his plan was to head to his room and do some internet browsing before he went to bed too, when out of the corner of his eye he noticed them.
A pair of soft looking, cotton black and white striped panties laying on the floor.
Lincoln had scene plenty of panties growing up in a house with ten sisters. But typically, they were freshly laundered or in a pile of dirty clothes with lots of others. He did occasionally see a discarded worn pair here and there over the years, but his sisters were typically very good about making sure they weren’t laying out where anyone else could see them.
Yet, here was a pair just laying there on the floor near the bathtub. He knew who they belonged too, and he knew she’d been wearing them all day.
Any other time, any other sister, he would of barely acknowledge their presence. They would have been nothing but something his eyes glanced over and then quickly forgotten about. But not this time.
This time he stared, he stood there, and he stared. He looked down at them, just sitting there, knowing where they came from, knowing who had been wearing them…knowing those intimate parts they had been clinging to all day.
He looked away.
He needed to just flush the toilet, wash his hands and go back to his room.
He reached out, gripped the handle and was able to get the first part done. Then his eyes were drawn back to the panties once more.
He had such a powerful urge within him. Such a strong urge that he was fighting against right now. He felt his arm shaking, the desire building up in his mind. It was so very strong, so very overpowering.
Pick them up. Come on Lincoln, pick them up. Nobody will know, nobody will know except you. Go on, pick them up and do what you really want.
Smell them.
Smell her scent, the real scent you’ve dying to breathe in. When are you ever going to have another opportunity like this?
He sat down on the toilet seat and put his head in his hands.
Everyone else in the house was busy or asleep right now, but anyone could want to use the single bathroom in the home at any moment. He couldn’t sit here just debating this all night.
It hurt so much fighting the desire in him. It was so strong, and he was already becoming aroused just by looking at them.
It was Lucy’s panties. His sister’s panties. He was getting aroused looking at his sister’s panties and imagining what they smelled like. Imagining what she smelled like.
What her pussy smelled like.
He put his head in his hands again and brought his fingers up into his scalp, digging his nails in, almost hard enough to draw blood.
What the fuck was wrong with him? He was sick, fucking sick. This was his sister, why was he thinking this about her? Why did he want to take them to his room? He didn’t want to corrupt his relationship with her. He didn’t want to ruin the beautiful friendship they had now.
But there was a part of him, a small part that was beginning to grow. A part that he thought maybe had always been there. Maybe it could have been there for any of his sisters, a small selfish part that wanted them for his own.
He had been able to ignore it all his life, keep it so tiny it’s whispers couldn’t be heard. But Lucy had been feeding that part, making it stronger, making it louder. Making it focus on her and no one else.
It didn’t help how his choices of porn searches lately had changed as well. He’d told himself before, Lucy had just made him realize he’d probably like dating a goth girl. After all, Clyde was and he seemed happy. So yeah, his porn searches had been looking up pale, dark haired, mascara wearing goddesses. But then it had changed to blonde haired goth girls not to long after that.
He just wanted a girl like Lucy, he just wanted a girl like Lucy, he just wanted a girl like Lucy.
He just wanted Lucy.
He brought his hands down, fists clenched, fingers now digging into his palms so tightly as he stared at those panties, turmoil raging inside of him. The feeling of loathing and self-hatred was getting smaller and smaller as his lust grew larger and larger.
The voice of reason was getting quieter, as that dark part of him began to whisper louder.
It’s okay Lincoln. It’s okay, just pick them up, get it out of your system, you have a little crush on your sister, as long as she doesn’t know it’ll be fine. You can just watch her and be close to her until you leave for State in another year.
Go on, pick them up, give us what we want.
The voice, his desire, it was too strong. Even as part of him wanted to cry, to hate himself, he just couldn’t right now. Now he was too horny, he was too much in need for it. It was right there in front of him.
He picked them up, they were soft in his hands. Cotton, but somehow felt softer than the underwear he wore. The design on them, those black and white stripes, he’d seen them before. These were the ones she was wearing last year. When he’d walked in on her changing.
He brought them up to his nose, placing the inside of the crotch right up against his nostrils, and breathed in like an addict receiving a long-denied hit.
It was wonderful.
It was intoxicating.
It was pure, unmistakable girl. Sweet, tangy, heady, it sent a rush of endorphins through his body. He didn’t know how it could smell so good.
By all accounts it should smell bad, it was sweat and lubrication, and mucus and other fluids. Laying it out like that, it should be disgusting.
But the reality was, knowing where It came from, and who it came from, made it the best scent in the entire world.
He felt as if he could get high off of this scent, it was so rich and strong, and now he was at full mast. He should leave now, leave it here on the ground. But he couldn’t. No, he couldn’t just casually toss them back on the ground now. He needed them, he needed the relief so bad.
His dick was doing the thinking now, thoughts of shame were still there, but so very tiny, yelling into the hurricane that was his lust.
He balled the panties up under his fist and then stuffed them into the pocket of his jeans. He didn’t bother washing his hands, he took a breath and opened the hallway door, looked around to find the hall empty, and then very hurriedly made his way back to his room.
Safe in the confines of privacy, he turned, locked the door and then pulled the panties free from his pocket again.
He brought them back up to his nose and breathed in.
That magical scent hadn’t lost any of its potency. He fell back on his bed then, and before he knew it, he was unbuttoning his jeans, zipping them down, reaching into the confines of his underwear and grasping his cock.
He was completely lost to the lust now, completely given over to the strong desire and need to cum. He lost himself fully in that scent, eyes closed as he pumped himself and thought of who the panties belonged to.
Lucy with her beautiful eyes. Lucy with that pale soft ass he wanted to squeeze, he wanted to run his fingers over and kiss. Lucy with those full, heavy looking breasts. Breasts he wanted to feel his fingers sinking into, that he wanted to lick, suck, nuzzle. Lucy with her black painted full lips, the ones that kissed him softly every day, the ones he wanted to feel on his neck, on his ears…on his shaft.
Letting himself give in to those secret desires he had been holding back, fully indulging in them, fully imagining just all the things he wanted to do with his sweet, loving, beautiful, sensual, sexual sister was making this one of the best jerk-off sessions he’d ever had. When he finally came, it gripped his entire body so hard his toes curled. He’d made a complete mess, he’d need to change his shirt and his jeans thanks to errant spills he hadn’t expected as a result of his passion.
He was sweating and gasping when it was all over, and he pulled the panties off from his face, taking the intoxicating scent away…
And then the shame and horror over what he’d just done came crashing into him like an ocean wave. He was sick, gross, horrible. The evidence was all over his thighs, dripping down his softening shaft and even on the bottom of his shirt.
He had pictured his sister as his lover. Used her for fodder to fap to. It had felt good, that was the worst part, so very good.
It just wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair. Why did she have to be related to him? Why did she have to be his little sister? She was everything he wanted and more. She was like him, but not like him. They shared so many things, and yet the differences between them made it more exciting. She was always bringing something new to him, and he understood he did the same for her.
He brought his knees up to his chest, laying in his shame, arms hugging himself as he squeezed his eyes so tightly and began to tear up. He hated this, he hated himself. He hated the way his heart felt right now, and what a loathsome person he’d become.
Most of all, he hated that he couldn’t have her.
Section Break
Confined, dark, closed spaces had always been a friend to Lucy as she was growing up. Only in the dark, where one couldn't see you or judge you could you really be yourself. In these lonely forlorn places you could always learn so much about yourself, and about others. Be it a dark cave, an abandoned building, or in this case, the air vents of her house.
Lucy couldn't remember when she'd first started climbing and crawling through the air ducts of her home, but it had been when she was awfully young. When she had needed to get away from the noise all around her, somewhere quiet, dark, confined and alone. It was here she could escape from everything, be truly alone and indulge in the dark thoughts that often flitted through her mind. It was often the best spot she could go to write down her thoughts when she needed to be completely undisturbed.
It was also thanks to these spaces she found a way to crawl through her home without being seen. The air vents connected every part of the house, and through them she could see and hear everything. With them Lucy could go anywhere, anytime she wanted and often had while growing up. Her siblings had often attributed a supernatural power to Lucy, for her ability to suddenly show up out of seeming nowhere when they thought they were alone.
They never figured out she had simply stepped out of the air duct half of the time.
When others thought they were truly alone, Lucy had been often watching them.
She had seen the first time Lori had gone down on Bobby, when she asked if she was doing a good job, and the poor boy so overwhelmed with pleasure could only respond with a thumbs up.
She'd watched her sister Luna the first time she'd made love to her girlfriend Sam. Watched how the two teens, sweaty and red faced afterwards, clung to each other after it was finished, and fell asleep in one another's arms.
She had even seen her Father take her Mother in the dining room on the table when they both thought they were completely alone.
She hadn't thought any of these events were gross that she witnessed. It didn't matter they were family. She thought they were beautiful.
Beautiful intimate moments between lovers, when they were alone and thought nobody could see. When they would show their true faces to one another and revealed to no one else. Moments of time that spoke of a love when it was new, reaching a milestone, or had been shared for decades and was continuously renewed.
Sometimes she witnessed her siblings engaged in acts of self-love too. When frustration or temptation had been too much and they needed to release that pent up sexual energy. In these instances she did her best to afford her siblings their privacy. It was an act she understood was very personal and could be very embarrassing to the one performing it. Much as it was so easy to watch or listen from her hidden space in the air ducts, it was an act she thought was meant to be conducted alone.
One of her favorite family members to watch growing up had been of course her brother Lincoln. What he would do when he was alone in his room. In that case, she couldn't always afford to give him privacy when he sought self-pleasure, he was a boy, and as he'd gotten older...he'd done it more and more.
Really, she was honestly amazed at the number of times a boy could pleasure themselves and then carry on with exactly what they had been doing before as if nothing had just happened. Out of complete curiosity she'd once watched him do it 4 times in the space of two hours one evening when he was 13.
But as she'd gotten older, she'd spent less and less time in the air ducts, part of that of course was simply she was getting bigger and it had gotten harder to fit inside of them and deftly move around as easily as she once did. But after her older sisters moved out, she was afforded more privacy and there were less and less people to watch too.
She ended up missing the quiet and dark confined aspect of the air ducts, but she always still had the attic, her other favorite place to be alone.
Tonight though, she had returned to the place she had once called her second home. Tonight she had decided to squeeze herself back into that dark confined place, and use it to explore and watch unobserved once again.
While she was no longer the small child she once had been, she was still a very lithe woman, and like a ghost from some Japanese horror movie, Lucy was capable of bending and twisting her limbs into odd shapes and angles to fit herself through tight places.
Her limbs were capable of bending back in ways that seemed almost unnatural, and she knew she could hold positions with them for hours that would cause unbearable muscle cramps in others.
She idly wondered if Lincoln would be willing to take up the art of Shibari with her, she was certain they could find a class teaching it in Ann Oaks together.
She smiled. That was something she filed away in her head for the future. It would be just one of many wonderful things they could explore together when they were a couple.
Lucy had decided to return to the air ducts of her childhood tonight for one particular reason. She needed to see if the 'present' she had left for her sweet brother had been discovered by him, and more, just how he reacted to it.
They were going to the comic convention in just a day, and she wanted him primed and ready, she wanted his mind to be filled with nothing but the possibilities of what he could do with her, to her. She needed him focused on all the gifts she possessed that she would share with him when he was ready.
So after spending a wonderful evening with her beloved, she had made sure he knew she was taking a shower before bed. So often the two would end up spending the evening together until they were both forced to say goodnight thanks to responsibilities in the morning, but in this case she had 'retired' a little earlier than usual.
She knew what she was doing. She was leaving them out for him. Her panties. The same ones he had seen when he walked in on her a year ago.
She had made sure they carried her scent in particular. It had been a little uncomfortable to pull them up against her so tightly before hand, but she had to make sure there would be no denying the scent of girl on them. Of her on them.
After that she'd taken her shower, gathered her clothes and returned to her room, she made sure those panties which had carried the day's worth of her scent on them were laid out where he would easily find them.
She had dried off, changed into her pajamas, a pair of long black and white stripped cotton pants and Cure t-shirt and waited. Waited before she heard steps ascending the stair case and heading to the bathroom. Then she opened up the air duct in her room, and crawled into like a snake slithering through a passage.
It was so much more confining to her now, with her fully grown body, she could barely fit, but she was able to manage, squeezing through the passages she once crawled through so easily when she was younger, following the main path until it turned at the end of the hall and looked out over the little room that had once been a linen closet.
There she watched and waited in the dark.
It only took a few minutes after the toilet was flushed to hear those steps heading down the hall. They sounded to be in a hurry.
Her brother was back in the room, and she could see the red on his face and on his cheeks. The look of embarrassment and the look of desire rolled together. Her breath caught in her throat and she waited again, watching him, wondering what he was going to do.
She didn't even have to wait very long, in moments he'd pulled the 'gift' she had left him from his pocket, and then she was watching him fall back to breathe her in.
Lucy smiled, her lips going wide, teeth visible, she was so happy. As her brother worked furiously to free himself from the confines of his pants her grin only got wider.
She had hoped for something like this, but hadn't expected it to happen so fast. She had already been near him once when he'd pleasured himself weeks ago right up against her... but now she was getting to see it, see her brother's cock for herself.
She had seen it before of course, when they were younger, not that he'd ever purposefully gone out of his way to expose himself to her. But he did have the habit of liking to read his comic books in his underwear and she'd been curious even back then.
But this, this was different. He wasn't a boy anymore.
She bit her bottom lip as a flush went over her entire body, her eyes even hidden by her blonde bangs could do nothing but zero in and focus on what he was pulling out in front of her. Her brother's manhood pulled free, erect and hard before her, like a gift for her sight.
The first thing she noticed was the lack of pigment in his hair seemed to be true for every part of his body. She found that to be adorable. Her poor brother and the strange genetic condition he had which prevented his hair from carrying any sort of color was true for all of him.
Next she focused on how big he was. Lucy had seen porn in her life, and was familiar with the sight of men who seemed to be carrying extra limbs in their pants. Her brother wasn't one of these.
He didn't possess a ridiculous womb wrecking organ between his legs. But he was big. Big and thick. It was no wonder his girlfriends, even someone like Melanie, had no complaints about him in that department.
Her thighs felt warmer, and her core began to tingle as she took in the sight. Even without him possessing a porn star penis he was still big and thick enough it made her worry how easily she'd be able to fit him inside the first time.
She'd never had anyone else in her, never had anything else in her. She had been saving it all for him, she knew this now. Her virginity, her maidenhood belonged to her brother, and she was witnessing the implement that would take it from her.
She had to bite her bottom lip to stop herself from gasping.
As she watched him, breathing in the scent from her panties, and stroking himself so hard and fast, the heat between her legs became unbearable, and her right hand slid it's way down under her body, between her legs, and into her pajama pants.
Her left hand came up over her t-shirt and squeezed her breast as she watched him, imagining it was his hand touching her in this way. Her right hand fell down over her panties, pressing between her legs, against her mound, gripping it tightly as she shivered and watched her brother in complete awe.
He was going faster now, and her heart was doing the same as she watched him. She wanted to be in the room with him. She wanted to be on her knees in front of him, she wanted to breathe in the scent of his cock before taking it between her lips.
She wanted to climb on top of him, and sit herself down on his length and feel it pierce her insides, claim her forever as his.
Her fingers worked themselves over her panties as she began to breathe soft and shallow. Squeezing her sensitive tits, her nipples hard. She watched as he continued to pump himself faster and faster, building to a crescendo she wished so dearly she could share with him.
It was sadly over before she could really even get herself going, but in some ways that was probably a good thing.
She doubted how quiet she could keep if she was shlicking herself to an orgasm in the vent in his room. That would have been an awkward conversation she wasn't ready for. It didn't fit into her plan of seduction.
But watching him finish had been amazing, and seeing the sheer amount of his seed made her giddy.
She had caused that. She had made him feel that way. She had made him cum that much. Her panties alone had caused this reaction in her brother. If they were anything like their mother and father they would need to be careful, she had no doubt with such a display he'd be able to impregnate her easily.
Part of her found that so hot, and while she didn't have plans on going through High School as a teen mom, just thinking of her brother's fertile seed flowing into her and inseminating her made her feel light headed.
Well, the show was over and she was getting ready to slide down back to her own room, and actually relieve herself thinking of the sight she'd just witnessed, when she caught sight of the aftermath.
The horrible turmoil and pain that seemed to be rising up on her brother's face. She watched him cry as he hugged himself afterward. The poor thing, no doubt he felt guilty. She imagined he probably thought he was some sick freak for taking his sister's panties.
The poor boy could probably never imagine a scenario where his sister had left them out purposefully for him to find. She wanted more than anything to go to him right now, to crawl into bed with him and wrap her arms around him. She would whisper it was okay, and there was nothing wrong with what he'd done. There was absolutely nothing for him to be ashamed of.
But not yet.
She needed him like this, she needed him so confused, and torn, and yearning and wanting and hurting all at once. When he had been pushed to his absolute limit, then she would tell him it was okay.
Then his shame would fall away, he would embrace her, and he would love her without guilt. He would see they were always meant to be. He was right there now. She could see it, everything had come up exactly how she wanted it to go.
He wanted her, she could see that, he wanted her so bad. He only had to be led those last few steps. They could begin their life together then, one without shame or worry, one of love and pleasure with the promise of it for decades to come.
She watched him until he'd fallen asleep. It hurt her to see him in so much pain like this, but it was for the best. Even if it brought a tear to her own eye to know she was the source of his confusion and doubt. Even if she knew she was hurting him, it was all for the best reasons in the long run.
Slowly she squeezed her way back down the passage, twisting her body around, bending her joints in ways others were unable to, until like a specter that had crawled from it's grave, she had found her way back to her room, and slid out of the air ducts once again.
Affixing the grate back onto the wall, she stood up, cracked her back, then her shoulders, and slid back down into her bed and sighed staring up at the ceiling.
Just one more day my love. Just one more day. I promise to make you feel better than any one else ever has. You'll never need another woman in your life again when we're done Lincoln.
Just wait for me my love.
- 6
- 7
- 8
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The Shadow of his Heart