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Foiled! Curses again?	By : I_write_badfic_not_tragedies Category: +S through Z > TaleSpin Views: 2508 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Talespin or any other Disney fandom. I make no money off of this fic. Please don't sue me.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Standing in their bedroom, Karnage focused on the crate in front of them. They were wearing pants and had their chest wrapped up in long bandage-like strips of fabric, but beyond that and a bandana, not much else. Practicing using the powers was sweaty work. It was strangely physically exhausting in the same way actually lifting the crates would be, but it was getting easier.
“You’re up to twenty pounds now,” Rachet said, writing on his clipboard.
“It is too slow,” Karnage protested, trying not to pant in an undignified fashion.
“Too slow?” Rachet asked as the crate crashed back to the ground.
“Two weeks to lift twenty pounds?”
“Lifting ANYTHING is pretty amazing if you ask me. You know, if you eventually get strong enough, the crew won’t have to lift the loot themselves to carry it back to the ship.”
Karnage flopped back on the bed. Rachet placed his clipboard on the desk and sat down next to them. “I see a bare tummy. Who wants a tickle?”
“Do not you taunt.”
“Too late, I’m going in!”
“EEEH!” they were laughing and messing around like teenagers when there were several loud pounds at the door.
“Cap’n? We heard a crash? Is everything all right in there?” Dumptruck asked through the door.
They were keeping the whole ‘magic’ thing a secret from the crew until they knew exactly what to do or say about it. The crew was likely to bug out again when they found out. So they couldn’t have known what that crashing noise was- although they generally assumed it had something to do with rough sex. “Everything is okey-dokey,” they replied in an annoyed voice with a hint of sing-song creepiness in it.
“Ohkay. If everything is good, can you come get rid of another unwanted visitor?” he asked.
A crow was sitting on the railing surrounding the landing bay. It cawed loudly when it saw Karnage. “Another one of the voodoo queen’s minions?” Karnage asked in annoyance, taking the note off the crow’s leg. The notes had gotten increasingly threatening since Karnage had ignored answering the first one a week ago. She was now sending them twice daily. Karnage was no longer even reading them.
Karnage scribbled ‘I do not need your help’ on the note, returned it to the bird, and swatted it to send it flying back to its master. When they got strong enough, they would turn themselves back into a man. They didn’t need that woman’s help anymore. She hadn’t helped in the first place.
After another long day of pirating and general mayhem, Karnage was finally able to lie down to rest. Rachet discarded his clothes across the room and joined them, cuddling up to their side. The smell of oil and exhaust on his clothes made Karnage kind of nauseous, as had a lot of other strong smells lately, so Rachet had taken to leaving his things on the far side of the room. “Shall we continue our tickle time?” he asked.
They were just starting to wrap their arms around each other when there was pounding at the door again, urgent and loud. Karnage groaned and rolled their eyes so hard they might roll out of their head. “What is it now?!”
“Er- captain? Rachet? That new a sonyar thing you installed is doing crazy.”
Karnage and Rachet were both up and dressed in record time, and in the radio room where the new sonar equipment was being kept. They occasionally got a plane or two on it. To see so many planes…
“We’re under attack,” Rachet whispered.
“Everyone to their battle stations!” Karnage shouted, using the sonar table to steady and hide the shaking in their arms. “Get the vulture up and running and-“
“Wait, we’re being surrounded by a large number of small planes. The vulture is only good against large targets. It’s too slow and its rounds are too large for this kind of fight. We’d be better going with only the CTs.”
“I am not powering up the vulture to fight. I am powering it up if we need to run,” Karnage answered sternly, staring down at the bleeps on the radar closing in on them.
“Captain…”
“I am trying to calculate acceptable losses to hold the base,” they answered grimly.
A very familiar voice came over the radio scanner. “This is Khan to Karnage. I am sure by now you have used the sonar equipment you stole from me to realize you’re surrounded. However, you should know that I only want you. Surrender, and you have my word that none of my men will touch your base or your men.”
“Captain, you’re not going to-“
Karnage, eyes shadowed, picked up the radio. “Give me your word that none of your people or your planes or your ammunition or your bombs will touch my base or my men.”
Rachet tried to pull the radio away from Karnage. “You can’t-“
“A good leader knows when to fight and when to retreat. We have no chance to do either,” they answered slowly.
“You have my word,” Khan responded through the radio.
Karnage waited in front of the base as Khan’s plane landed, while his minions circled overhead. The pirates were still holding their guns, peering out from the windows of the base. Two large panthers exited the plane ahead of Khan.
“Search her and make sure she’s not hiding anything,” Khan ordered. “Then bring her to me.”
-
Karnage stared at the floor of the plane, both of their wrists handcuffed to the chair. It was a soft, plushy executive chair, but they were still chained to it. Nice prisons were still prisons.
“Please understand that I feel nothing towards you personally,” Khan said, examining his claws. “I simply can’t tolerate you keeping the power of that emerald for yourself.”
He got no response from his visitor, and he snorted. “Now, you don’t have to be a rude guest,” he said, putting one claw directly under Karnage’s jaw, forcing them to look up. “You know, you’re strangely attractive as a woman. Much better than your usual ragged self. If you want to experience one last moment of exquisite pain and pleasure in that body, you should know that a tiger’s penis is covered in barbs. If you were feeling amenable…”
A low growl was coming from Karnage. Khan shrugged and removed his claw. He was many things, but a man who would force himself on a woman was not one of them. “You know, you were quite smart trying to make sure there was no loophole I could use to go after your base, but you weren’t as clever as me.”
Shaking, Karnage growled, “What are you saying?”
“I only promised my people would leave your broken band of fools alone. I did not say anything about the air police. If you survive tonight, I’m afraid you will have very little left to go back to. I am sorry, but this is what you get for ignoring my warnings.”
They made a guttural sound in response and pulled against the handcuffs. “You can stop fighting. The voodoo queen herself enchanted those to hold you. You can’t break them.”
Karnage threw their head back and started to laugh hysterically. Khan frowned, and for one of the few times in his life, retreated. “I can’t break them? Well, I guess I’ll just have to take the whole damn chair then!” the voice that was coming out of Karnage was no longer Karnage’s voice. Any hint of the silly accent was gone
There was the horrific sound of ripping and cracking bones as four extra arms burst out of Karnage’s torso. The smallish, fine claws Karnage usually had were elongated black blades now. Six horrific green eyes were on their face, two above Karnage’s own eyes and two below on their cheeks. As they stood up, they ripped the arms right off the chair. The chair arms hung by the chains, dangling at Karnage’s side. Karnage was moving like a broken marionette, limbs going in ways they shouldn’t be able to bend.
Khan went for his side arm but wasn’t fast enough, as Karnage was across the room in a second, clawed hands wrapped around Khan’s throat. “This is why I hate men,” the new voice hissed, letting a long snake-like tongue dangle out of Karnage’s mouth. “Always backstabbing. Always betraying. I was having such a happy time in this body, and then you had to come and ruin it. Oh, how fast your heart beats,” the voice whispered.
“You’re… Jolene.”
“That’s a terrible mistranslation, but I also don’t feel like correcting you. I need to go save this body’s friends. But first, I’m going to punish you. The one called Khan. You attacked and burned my home. My people. You could have left me alone, you could have let me be happy, but no, you had to have my power. You mortal men always have to have my power. So now the story will end like it always ends. I will burn your home to the ground.”
The creature with six eyes, six arms, and six insectoid wings flew as fast as they could across the night sky. The stars in their wake were going out. They could see the reflection of fire at the base reflecting in the water, the light dancing like twinkling rubies.
The creature that was both Karnage and Jolene lifted their six arms. “Ashes to ashes,” they whispered as they opened their hands. “And dust to dust,” they finished as they closed their firsts. The air police planes disintegrated into dust around their pilots. The confused pilots barely had time to scream before they were plunged into the darkness of the ocean below.
Karnage-Jolene entered the base, retracting their extra arms and hiding their extra eyes. They pulled water out of the bay and dumped it on the fires as they ran through. “Ca… captain? You’re back?” Mad Dog said in surprise. He was holding his arm, and Karnage-Jolene could smell blood.
“Khan tried to trick me,” they answered absently in two voices at once. They continued through the base, putting out the fires as necessary. Mad Dog followed, stunned from both his injury and what he was seeing.
“Thousands of years, and man has not changed one bit,” Jolene growled. Karnage-Jolene turned angrily to Mad Dog. “Get the wounded together in the main bay,” they ordered.
They had something specifically on their mind. They had to find Rachet. They had to find the one who said he loved them. When they finally found him, he was sitting on the ground next to the damaged sonar, blood around him. “C-captain?” he asked. “You came back!”
Karnage-Jolene rushed to his side. He was bleeding lightly from were a bullet had grazed his leg. They held their hands over his wound and concentrated, concentrated so hard. They put every ounce of their energy out… and nothing happened. Karnage-Jolene slumped forward. “All of my power and I cannot heal. Only destroy,” they whispered.
“I am sorry, I am sorry,” they pleaded. “I should not have left.” I should have used my power to erase those planes from existence the moment I saw them. Why did I trust? Why did I trust men? The one they loved, the one who loved them, was hurt. It was all their fault.
At that moment an exhausted-looking Jock entered the room, and bound Rachet’s wounds. Karnage-Jolene helped to carry him to the other wounded. “Captain…” Hal said, approaching cautiously. “Several of the younger men are dead. They wouldn’t listen to us without you to give orders and they rushed the air police.”
“I bear the responsibility for this.”
“No, you tried to protect us. It was Khan who-“
“Captain! Captain!” Hacksaw came running, gasping. “S-s-sadie! Sadie! Sadie- Sadie’s dead!”
Karnage-Jolene ran with Hacksaw to where Sadie lay on the ground, eyes still open, a gaping wound in his chest. They knelt beside him. “All this power, and I cannot heal. Cannot bring the dead back to life. I am sorry,” they said, gently closing his eyelids. They stood slowly back up. “Leave me,” Karnage-Jolene said.
“Captain?”
“Gentlemen… use one of our larger planes to get those who are only slightly injured will get the greatly injured to Dr. Cooper. He will treat pirates without question. The rest of you will follow me in the Vulture,” Karnage-Jolene said softly.
“Where… where are we going?” Dumptruck asked.
“To the greatest sac of the city of Cape Suzette in the history of plunder!” Karnage-Jolene announced, all six eyes glowing.
-
“We interrupt your usual broadcast for this important emergency broadcast,” cut across all the radios of the city. Every air raid siren in the city was screaming. “All pilots with armed planes and all captains with armed boats are to immediately report to the docks. All citizens are ordered to shelter in place. If you are outside, get inside to the nearest shelter.”
“What’s going on?” one of the cliff gunners asked their leader, as he scrambled up to their position. While the sirens were screaming in a mournful tone, the city was going black, cutting power to make their location as a target less obvious.
“According to the transmission from Khan, a new weapon is coming our way, and fast. He said to open up on it with everything we’ve got as soon as we see it.”
The men responsible for manning the scopes scanned the black water, lit only by reflection from the moon. They had cut their normal spotlights in hopes of making the city harder to find in the darkness. One of them finally spotted something moving across the face of the water. He couldn’t tell what it was, as he couldn’t see it in the blackness. He only knew it was there because it was throwing a massive wake of water behind it, like Moses parting the sea.
He shouted the location to the others, and they did as they had been ordered, opening up with everything they had. Whatever it was quickly shot up into the sky, and the volley rounds of ammunition hit the water uselessly. It was now high enough in the sky that they could see the shape of… something… against the moon. It was far smaller than they had expected. A second round of fire was thrown at it, but again, it dodged down and let the bullets disappear into empty night air.
“Where did it go?!” the leader shouted.
“I don’t know, I lost sight of it, I- AAAAAH!” he screamed and fell back as something popped up directly in front of their cliff base, hovering in the air
“Peakity boo!” the demon Karnage grinned.
“What the hell is that?”
“Never mind what it is, shoot it down!”
Every man went for his gun and unleased every bullet he had in the creature’s direction. It yawned and stretched all six of its arms, then checked its clawed nails. Only when their guns started to click empty did it turn all its horrid eyes in their direction, watching the men tremble in fear. The demon could smell the pungent scent of urine in the air and noted that more than one of them had wet himself. So much for trained soldiers, the demon noted. This era was weak compared to the armies she had crushed in the past.
They landed lightly on the cliff edge, running their clawed fingers down the cannon barrels. Their boots crunched on little pebbles as they advanced, still smiling. The sound seemed to fill the air, which was silent other than the distant wail of sirens. “Mortals and their reliance on their technology,” they said with a little laugh and a shake of their head. “You never change.”
The leader, still holding his emptied and smoking gun outstretched, felt his hands shake. “You… you’re… you’re KARNAGE under there, aren’t you?” he asked. “Oh my… my God… no… it’s too late for God to help you, isn’t it?”
The demon seemed annoyed by this. “Little mortal, I AM a God!” they insisted. “Well, Goddess, but sex roles seem so insignificant when you can make the earth quake the sky roil!” They advanced on the leader as the other soldiers skittered away, pressing their backs against the cold rock as they tried to get away from the demon.
“You are the one who cutted my ear, yes-no?” the demon asked, head tilted curiously.
“I should have killed you at that time,” the leader said bravely, but there was a shake in his voice.
“I think I should repay you,” the demon smiled as they reached out, grabbing the leader with all six arms. “An ear for an ear?” they asked. “An eye for an eye?” they continued, moving one of their clawed hands dangerously close to the leader’s face. He refused to flinch, although it took every ounce of courage in him.
“You- you don’t scare me. No matter how you look, you’re still that yellow-bellied coward Karnage under there,” he answered.
“Ah, I see now. You are jealous of my glorious image. Do not fear, little mortal. I shall do exactly to you what I did to Khan. I will let you become more like me,” the demon smiled. The leader then let out a cry of pain, his eyes rolling back in his head. Four more arms ripped out of his sides as well, breaking through his coat. Eyes covered his face, opening wide and looking around wildly.
The demon Karnage released the twisted man. Drooling and growling, the former leader turned his multiple eyes on his crew. He licked his fanged lips. As they ran screaming in terror, he lunged after them, jaws snapping and hands clawing at the ground as he crawled.
The demon rose back into the sky on their wings. Numerous planes were approaching. How annoying, they thought. Once again, mortals thinking their technology could possibly rival the power of a God. They held out their arms, and the planes began to twist and transform. The terrified pilots could only bail out in desperation as their planes were reformed into massive mechanical birds. The birds let out hideous, screeching caws that rattled the windows on the buildings below.
“Circle, my precious birds, circle!” the demon ordered, and the mechanical birds began to fly around the city.
Rising high enough that the moon provided excellent backlight, she spoke to the terrified citizens in a booming voice. “Greetings, miserable mortals of Cape Suzette. You are being graced with the glorious presence of myself, the demon Karnage. You have one hour to gather your most valuable trinkets and knick-knacks at the dock in tribute to my greatness. If you fail…” she held out her arms. With a crack, enormous sharp teeth emerged from the rocks surrounding the city. The once protective ring had transformed into a hungry, gaping maw. “I will devour your city whole!” Then, slower, the demon added “You brought this on yourselves.”
-
Baloo and Rebecca were returning from a very late run. “Baloo, why are the city lights out?” Rebecca asked.
“Power outage?” Baloo asked. “Change to the frequency to contact the cliff gunners.”
Rebecca turned the channel. Instead of hearing the usual announcement from the cliff gunners to identify themselves, they heard someone sobbing and praying. “What in the-“
“Turn to our home channel!” Baloo said nervously.
Wild Cat was on the radio, and for the first time ever, Baloo heard panic in his voice. “We’re- we’re under attack!”
Rebecca dug her fingers into Baloo’s arm. “Baloo, Kit and Molly are at my apartment!”
The demon Karnage was watching the people gather a pile of shining gold and other assorted valuables. They kept looking to the horizon, annoyed that the Iron Vulture was so SLOW compared to their flying speed. Waiting bored both Karnage and the demon inside them. Their ears perked up when they heard another engine approaching. They turned their head to see a familiar plane approaching in the distance.
Baloo and Rebecca were still flying in, concerned by the absolute darkness around the city, when there was a loud thump on the roof of the Sea Duck and it shook violently. Something heavy had struck them. A moment later, they heard a knock at the door.
Both looked incredulously at the door as it was pulled open, and Karnage crawled inside. They were grinning widely. Their clothes were absolutely trashed and bloody. “Mind if I hitch a ride?” they asked sweetly. Rebecca retreated in horror from the passenger seat as Karnage climbed in and sat down, making themselves comfortable.
“How… how did you get on my plane?” Baloo asked.
“Always asking the important questions,” Karnage smiled. Baloo frowned. “You’re not Karnage,” he said.
“Oh, my apologies. Should I have said always asking the important questions, yes-no?” the thing in the chair that looked like Karnage smiled. “And I am Karnage… but at the same time… I am not. I have all his memories and he has all of mine. We are one.”
“What are you?”
“I have many names. Jolene. Pandora. Lilith. Would you like to see me as I am?” they asked, and the multiple arms and eyes returned as they grinned at Baloo.
“The… first woman. The one who unleashed all evil on Earth. The mother of monsters,” Rebecca whispered.
“The one who is BLAMED for unleashing all evil on Earth. I was USED,” the thing roared. “Men tell my story, and they always tell my story so I am the villain! So… I have no choice but to become the villain.” They laughed. “I thought maybe I could be happy in this life. All I wanted was a chance to make my own story. Is that so wrong?”
“You… you can’t make your story in someone else’s body,” Rebecca said, voice trembling.
“Who says I intended to stay in this body?” she asked bitterly. “This body was only a means to get my own body… Do you know why I was able to take this body? Being a woman isn’t required. Having a shattered heart is. I just prefer to be a woman.”
“A shattered heart…?”
“Why do you think I… this person… acts the way I do? Only caring about yourself means you can’t get hurt, because you’re the only one who won’t let you down.” They paused. “So much death. So much pain. It never changes.”
“Karnage. Jolene. Pandora. Lilith. Whoever you are, what do you want from us? You didn’t come here for a head shrink session, did you?” Baloo finally asked.
“Oh, your usual bluntness. I guess that’s what I like about you. Or don’t like. I’m not sure. I’m here to ask you why I shouldn’t sac your city and then consume it whole. Convince me.”
There was a long pause. “What- what do you plan to do once you’ve taken all the valuables in the city?” Baloo asked nervously. The plane was shaking as badly as he was, and keeping it going in a straight line was all he could do.
“To be honest, I don’t even know what my other half wants with the valuables. I would have just eaten the city. Guess it’s important to them.”
“I’m talking to your ‘other half’ directly. I’m talking to KARNAGE. You said he’s still in there, right? So answer me, Karnage. Once you have defeated Cape Suzette, you won’t have anything left to defeat, right?”
The demon seemed to be thinking hard. “Go on,” they said slowly. Baloo could hear Karnage’s accent returning.
“If you destroy the city and take everything, no one will fly that way anymore. You’ll have to move your base or retire. No more crew, no more pillaging, no more being the feared pirate Karnage. Is taking over the city what you really want, or is the IDEA of taking over the city what you want? And as for you… the other half… what you want is for someone to tell your story correctly? Or… is it that you want a chance to make your own story…” Rebecca added. “You don’t have to be who men want you to be.”
“I want to feel loved. I want…” the lights of the Iron Vulture approaching them filled the cockpit. Baloo had been flying in circles to avoid entering the city while they tried to talk down the demon Karnage, and it had finally caught up with them.
They stood up. “I want to ask a question,” they said, exiting the Sea Duck and flying back towards the Vulture.
The pirates cringed back as the demon landed in the mouth of the Vulture. The demon Karnage was surprised to see Mad Dog there with a bandaged arm. “I thought I told you to get medical attention,” they chided.
“And miss the sac of Cape Suzette?” Mad Dog asked nervously.
The demon swiveled its head and looked at the crew. “What… what will all of you do after we sac the city? After we take everything?”
The crew thought for a moment. “I suppose… retire to a nice island in the warm seas,” Hacksaw finally answered.
“Buy a palace in my homeland and rule over the peasants,” Mad Dog answered.
“Start my own cake store,” Dumptruck said, and they all looked at him. “What, a pirate has to have goals, doesn’t he?”
“You wouldn’t…. stay pirates?” the demon asked.
“Why would we need to? We’d be wealthy beyond our wildest dreams,” Jock said.
The demon just stood there, looking down at the metal floor of the ship. Rachet stepped out of the line of the crew. “I would stay with you forever. I love you.”
“Love…” the demon said quietly. “Can you really love me, or do you love having sex with me?”
“I told you. I loved you before you became a woman. You were the one who named me Rachet, the one who believed in me when my own family told me I couldn’t be anything more than a small-town butcher. The one who believed I could build a lightning gun, and who let me work on the marvel that is the Iron Vulture. I wish… I wish I’d been able to tell you how I felt back when you were still a man, but I was afraid.”
“You’re our captain, right? Of course we all care about you…” Mad Dog said nervously. “I mean, yeah, sometimes we try to mutiny, but only because we care!” He was afraid of what this thing might do if it didn’t think they cared.
Suddenly, Karnage pitched forward. Rachet leaped forward in time to catch them in his arms. Tears were streaming from all six of their eyes, but the other eyes were slowly retreating into their body along with the wings and extra arms. “I want to be loved. I want… this. You. My crew. My pack. My family. Let’s… let’s be pirates together.”
The demon looked out over the darkened city and extended one of their two remaining arms. The giant teeth retreated into the mountain sides. Down below, although the pirates could not see it in the dark, the people collapsed in the streets, falling into deep and uneasy dreams right where they landed.
-
“The Iron Vulture is turning around,” Baloo said. “Did we… did we just… TALK… a demon… out of…?”
“I don’t think she wanted to do it, but I think she… needed…” Rebecca yawned. “Needed to talk to clear her head.”
Baloo started to yawn too. The Sea Duck lightly touched down, bobbing on the waves as Baloo and Rebecca slept within.
-
“Good morning, my captain, queen of the skies” Rachet said, giving Karnage a small kiss on the head.
“Morning,” they yawned, shifting in bed.
“Should we go visit the injured?” he asked quietly, wrapping his arms around his partner’s soft curves.
“I cannot believe that unsecured load of dynamite… that it… that it…”
“It wasn’t your fault,” Rachet said, wrapping his arms around their chest.
“I still feel… feel… BLARG!” they cried, leaping out of bed and sticking their head into a trash bin as the remains of last night’s meal decided to make themselves known again.
“Oh no, sick again? If we’re going to the doctor, he should have a look at you too.”
-
Baloo and Rebecca woke up confused in the Sea Duck, floating out on the ocean. They didn’t remember deciding to land or take a nap so close to the city. The cliff gunners woke up hiding in caves around the cliffs, not sure how they had gotten there or why their pants were urine-soaked. Only their captain was missing. The rest of the people of Cape Suzette woke up in the streets, confused, and once they realized there was a pile of valuables on the dock it became a fist-slinging free for all.
-
Khan woke up in a hospital room, uncertain of how he had gotten there. He reached up and rubbed his head, and realized half of his face was bandaged. A nurse entered the room. “Oh, I’m so glad you’re awake! We almost weren’t sure if you were going to make it out of that plane crash!”
“Plane… crash…” That was no plane crash. That was… was… his mind was foggy. He didn’t know what it was, but he knew it wasn’t a plane crash.
“Why is my face bandaged?”
The nurse frowned. “I… I think the doctor should explain that to you,” she said softly.
He had… was it a memory of reality? Or a memory of a dream? But… he could remember some horrible bug-like creature standing over him, holding his eye in its hand before it popped it in its mouth and crunched like it was eating candy.
“Anyway, Miss Khan, it’s time for your morning medications.”
He froze. “What did you call me?”
“Oh, sorry, I forgot that you prefer to be called Miz Khan, very sorry.”
He looked into the mirror at the end of the room. What he saw…
-
“How is everyone doing?” Rachet asked Dr. Cooper.
“Everyone has mostly minor injuries… except the one you said was… Sadie? I can see why you thought he was dead,” the doctor said. “But, I think he’s going to pull through since you got him to me just in time. It might just take a few weeks.”
“I need him to live so I can kill him for not securing the boom sticks,” Karnage said sourly, arms crossed.
“Come back in three days for an update, and I can give you the test results for the nausea at the same time,” Dr. Cooper said.
As they left, Rachet asked “What test did he do?”
“He had me pee in a cup?” Karnage replied in confusion.
- 6
- 7
- 8
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Foiled! Curses again?