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What She'd Been Missing	By : Trillhouse Category: +G through L > The Loud House Views: 8870 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Interlude I

Lori was roused from her slumber by a loud, shrill noise. She groaned as she sat upright, blinking the sleep out of her eyes; surely it couldn't be morning already? A quick glance at the clock confirmed that, no, it was not. It was only 1 AM.
"Wha-" The sound rang out again, and Lori's eyes shot wide open: it was a scream of terror. "LOAN." She gasped, quickly scrambling out of her bed. She didn't bother putting on her slippers. Lori dashed out of her room, paying no mind to the cold tile beneath her feet. "LOAN!" She shouted as she threw open the door to her daughter's bedroom.
"NO, NO, NO!" The girl was in the throes of a terrible nightmare, flailing and convulsing in her bed as she screamed in fear. Lori rushed to her daughter's side.
"Loan… Loan, calm down!" She cried, gently grasping the girl's shoulders and trying to shake her awake. Lori winced as Loan's fingernail grazed her cheek, but didn't back down for a moment; she shook Loan a bit harder to wake her. "LOAN!" The terrified girl's eyes snapped open.
"NO!" Loan shrieked as she saw the figure looming above her. She recoiled and backed against the wall before curling herself into a ball. "S-STAY AWAY!"
"Loan, baby, it's me!" Lori said. "It's me... it's okay." Loan ventured a peek, only to see that it was indeed her mother standing before her.
"M-mom…"
"Baby-" Before Lori could finish, her daughter reached out and grabbed her by the arms.
"H-h-he's HERE!" Loan whimpered. "H-he found, me, and he's HERE, and he-"
"Baby, nobody's here!" Lori assured her, but Loan rapidly shook her head.
"H-he IS!" The girl whimpered. Her chest was heaving with labored breaths and tears were streaming down her face; she was having a panic attack. "H-he found me, he's-"
"He's not here, Loan." Her mother said gently. "Nobody's here. You were having a nightmare… that's all."
Loan took a moment to glance around the room. Indeed, they were alone… there was nobody in the room save for her and her mother. Loan swallowed and looked back to the concerned woman.
"I-I-I-"
"It's alright, Loan. Everything's alright." Lori cooed as she gently embraced her trembling daughter. "Don't speak, just focus on breathing. You're going to be okay, baby." They stayed like that for several minutes… Lori stroking the girl's back as she clung tightly to her, hard enough that her fingernails were digging into her mother's skin. Clearly, this would need more than just comforting words. "Loan, listen…" She said, slowly pulling back from her embrace… not that her frightened daughter made it easy to do so. "I'm going to get you some Xanax-"
"N-NO!" Loan cried, desperately clutching the woman's arm. "Please…!"
"Loan. You're going to be fine." Lori said in a slightly stern tone. "I'll be back in a minute. Just… just BREATHE, baby." Loan searched her mother's eyes for a few moments before giving a small, reluctant nod. Lori gave a supportive smile and stroked the girl's cheek before hurrying off to her bedroom.
Lori flicked on her bathroom light and opened the medicine cabinet, taking out the bottle and shaking a tablet into the palm of her hand. She'd once kept the drug in Loan's bathroom, but that had proved to be a bad idea: the girl had begun taking them regularly, even for the most mild of attacks, and had grown utterly dependent on them. Now, Lori had to regulate it herself.
A quick glance in the mirror confirmed that Loan's nail had indeed scratched her, leaving a small cut dangerously close to her eye. Lori frowned and grabbed a bandage from her drawer, quickly putting it over the cut before rushing back to her daughter's room. Between Loan's general lack of self-care and her frequently chewing on her nails, they were often long and ragged; Lori sighed, making a mental note to clip them in the morning.
"Here, sweetie." Lori said as she returned to her daughter's room. Loan was sitting on her bed with her knees drawn close to her chest. She was still shaking, and while they had stabilized a bit her breaths were still rapid and strained. "Take this… it will-" Loan wasted no time in snatching the tablet from her mother's hand and swallowing it.
"Th-th-thank… thank…"
"Ssshhh. Don't try to speak… just try to breathe." Lori instructed. Loan gave a small nod and shut her eyes. She breathed in through her nose, held it for a few seconds, then released it. Breathe, hold, release. Breathe, hold, release. Loan kept this up for some time, her mother remaining silent by her side all the while. After about fifteen minutes, she opened her eyes again and looked at Lori. "Are you okay?" Lori asked.
"Y-your cheek-"
"It's fine. Don't worry about that… are you okay?" She asked again. Loan frowned and looked straight ahead again, shaking her head.
"…H-he was here."
"Loan, it was only-"
"I KNOW it was a dream…" Loan muttered. "B-but he was here. And he… he… oh, God…" Loan buried her face in her knees as the tears came once more. Lori sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed the girl's back.
"Loan, that man is never going to hurt you again… I PROMISE you that." Lori said quietly, not that it did much to ease the trouble girl's mind. "Would you like me to stay with you tonight…?" She asked. For a few moments there was no response, but then her daughter gave a small nod. "Scoot over, then." Loan did as she was told, and Lori got into bed beside her. She picked up the blanket off the ground and draped it over the two of them.
"Mom…" Loan whimpered. Her mother gave her a gentle smile.
"It's okay, baby. Come here… everything's going to be okay. Momma's not going to let anyone hurt you." Lori said in as soothing of a tone as she could muster. Loan buried herself in her mother's arms and bawled freely into her chest.
Lori paid no mind to the tears soaking through her pajama top. She simply held her frightened daughter as her body heaved with sobs, gently shushing her and stroking her hair until her tears died off and she fell into an uneasy sleep. Not that she was going to return to her own room… she would not be leaving her daughter's side tonight, nor would she be getting any sleep herself. She could only take some solace in the fact that it was the weekend, and she'd be able to take a nap during the day.
To see her baby girl in such a state was the greatest pain Lori had ever felt. Loan had grown into a young woman… hell, in a few weeks' time she'd be turning twenty. But on nights like these, Lori could only see her as the child she had once taken for granted. That monster had BROKEN her, perhaps permanently.
Lori blamed herself for what happened almost as much as she blamed HIM. She had accepted that monster into her home. She had failed to see the signs that were right in front of her. She had let him hurt her daughter for TWO YEARS. And now, she was like this… even if she were to take a miraculous turn for the better, Loan would bear those scars for the rest of her life. The memory of seeing that man atop her daughter, DEFILING her, was an image that would forever be burned into her mind. One of her greatest regrets was not killing the bastard right then and there… second only to allowing it to happen in the first place.
Lori frowned as she looked down at the precious girl sleeping on her chest. Even now, she looked so frightened… so hurt. Lori's greatest fear was that someday she might come home to find her daughter had taken her own life. She'd only ever told Dr. Patel these fears, and she'd been assured that such concerns were normal. Not that it made things any better.
She looked up at the ceiling, idly stroking her daughter's hair as she slept. She'd tried so hard to give her daughter her life back, but the poor thing hadn't been able to manage it. This life of isolation was no way for a girl to live… but it was the best thing Lori could do for her now.
If nothing else, she was safe here.

Lori lay awake in her bed, as she had nearly every night of the past three weeks. Sleep came rarely for her these days… hell, it barely came at all. She'd simply stay awake until her body couldn't take it anymore. But tonight there was more than just her daughter's absence weighing on her mind.
Today, she would be leaving for Japan.
She'd kept true to her word: she'd mostly kept her distance from Lincoln and Loan, save for a few calls to check in on how her daughter was doing. Apparently, she was doing quite well… she was happy, she was well cared for, and she was getting along well with her newfound family. As much as this reassured Lori, it did little to ease the pain in her heart.
Today would be the first time she'd see Loan since she'd come to gather her things. Hell, it'd be the first time she'd even spoken to her daughter since then. Were it not for the circumstances she'd be happy about this; instead, the prospect of saying goodbye to her little girl made her stomach twist into knots.
Unsurprisingly, she'd had little appetite as of late. This wasn't to say that she wasn't hungry, but she just couldn't bring herself to eat much. Still, she knew fully well she would end up scarfing down a Cinnabon as soon as she arrived at the airport. Maybe even two; she figured she'd earned herself that, at least. Treat yo'self, as some may say.
Lori sighed and shut her eyes. She still had four hours before she'd need to be up… she figured she should try her best to get SOME sleep while she could.
But she knew she wouldn't.
- 6
- 7
- 8
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What She'd Been Missing