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Anon E. Mus Private Eye	By : Magmos Category: -Misc Cartoons > Crossovers Views: 14208 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own any cartoon characters that may appear, nor do I claim any affiliation with their owners, nor do I own any characters associated with them. I make no money off of this fan fiction.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
HOLY SHIT but I am sorry THIS took so damned long! Honestly this should’ve been out awhile ago! In my defense I had an issue with my back that took me out for a solid month and some change. Kinda hard to write when sitting at your desk is painful, y’know?
Anyway, special shout out to the Author ValleyBoy69 back on the old T.S.S.A. website. His fanfic Intern in Toon Town was a HEAVY inspiration for this fic, and I’m borrowing a concept for a character from that fic. Damned shame he never finished that fic too, really felt like it was going places. Ah well, at least he got to the Jessica scene.

Case 5: The Cartoonist
You wanna know what the best part of being a P.I. over a cop is? It’s less dangerous. Granted there’s always the risk of getting thrashed by cheating husbands who were caught in the act, or cheating wives looking to cover their tracks, lot’s of cheating someones or others now that I think about it, but otherwise I’ll almost never really be at risk or in any danger, or end up in major events.
You’ll note I said almost…
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Anon’s bathroom was, by and large, nothing to write home about. Toilet, sink, mirror that doubled as a medicine cabinet, and towel rack. Really, the only thing that actually stood out was his shower. While most people would have a bath tub with a shower head, Anon opted for a stall with glass walls and doors. What stood out the most right now though were the sounds in it. The sound of flowing water from the shower filled the air and mixed with the steam as one could barely make out the noises of heavy kissing and light giggle with deep moaning. As if to answer what any onlookers were most likely asking, a large pair of breasts soon found themselves pressed up against the steamed up glass, with a pair of small hands on the sides.
Inside the shower, Anon was pressed up against a the curvaceous form of a Toon woman, water trailing down both their bodies and causing her long red hair to take on a more sleek form as it trailed down her shoulders. Anon’s hands were busy, one hand in between her long legs, massaging her bare snatch while the other forced her head up and turned to the side where his lips were mashed to her’s in a passionate lip lock While his hips ground his rock hard erection in the cleavage of her ass.
Eventually Anon broke away, a trail of Saliva between the human and Toon lips falling between them as the Toon woman moaned.
“Oh Walt Anon, fuck me. I need you so damned badly.”
Anon just smirked as he lowered his lips to her ear. “Oh, I will. But I want you to do something for me first. I want you to sing that song of yours. That one you sang when we first fucked each other in your dressing room.”
The woman let out a whimper. “Oh Anon, you big tease. Making a girl work for what she wants…” Her resistance fell quickly as she began to sing the first few lyrics to the song he wanted to hear.
“Oh wolfie, oh wolfie, ain’t you the one?”
With an aroused growl, Anon flipped Cindi around so she was looking right at him, panting desperately in need as his hands trailed down her shoulder length hair, free of the bun it was usually in. His hands then moved down to her thighs before grabbing hold of them, lifting her up, and spreading her legs wide before lining up his member with her dripping snatch and slamming forward with one thrust, slamming her ass against the glass door of the shower.
“OOOOOH, ANON!” Cindi screamed to the ceiling as she felt her depths be filled completely, only the elasticity all Toons share ensuring this was not an excruciating experience. Her arms and legs wrapped around Anon as said detective’s hips thrust back and forth, hammering the Toon woman in his arms.
With a smug grin on his face, Anon lowered his head down to Cindi’s right ear. “C’mon Cindi, keep singing.”
With a roll of her eyes, Cindi continued on as best as she could. “OooHHH WoooLLLfie, oooHHHH WOLFIE ! Ain’t we got, oh FUCK yes Anon! We got fun! WE GOT FUN!”
Anon’s smile widened as he began kissing and sucking at the red bombshell’s neck, all the while the sounds of their hips slapping together echoed with the falling water.
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Not the sexy redhead you were expecting, huh? Yeah, sex in the shower is reserved for Cindi, and no one else.
Lemme give you two pieces of advice if you’re gonna have an open relationship. First off, don’t. Not even joking here, I’ve had PLENTY of cases from spouses and partners in open relationships and I can tell you they almost ALWAYS end badly. Either one or both partners gets jealous and things turn ugly (god help any kids involved in this case), or one of the partners is enforcing control over everything in a REALLY unhealthy way. Basically, they get to fuck whoever they want, but their partner’s picks have to be vetted. Honestly, it’s a lifestyle 99% of people aren’t meant to lead.
Yeah, real rich coming from me, but here’s the thing, if Cindi ever said I had to stop fucking other Toons and stay monogamous with her, I would. Jessica, Panda, everyone in my Big Black Book, no more. It doesn’t come up much because I know none of you are reading my nonsense for the sappy crap, but I really do love Cindi. She and I…well…we have things going on that I don’t get into here. She was there for me in my worst days, and I was there for her when she needed me most. Thankfully for all involved, Cindi doesn’t mind sharing (heck, even that thing with Red was only really an issue due to bad timing. It was our anniversary, and Cindi wanted it to just be the two of us.) but she made me promise something which leads to my second bit of advice.
If you ARE gonna have an open relationship, you need something that is unique to ONLY you and your main partner. Something that means a lot to the both of you and you’ll never share with anyone else. For Cindi and me, that’s shower sex. The deeper meaning behind it is a story for another time, but for Cindi nothing feels better than (In her own words) being ravished while feeling water trail down her body. Because of this, it’s pretty much the ONLY way I’ve never had sex with Jessica and Panda (Outside of the more disgusting acts out there which I can safely and proudly say I’ve STILL not done to this day).
Before you ask, Jessica’s never pushed the issue. After that first time, she and Cindi have a pretty good deal of respect for each other. Enough that Jessica’s not gonna try and betray her trust and Cindi knows that. Not to say I’ve never fucked Jess in a BATH mind, but it’s rare. The only bath tub we both could have regular access to is in her and Roger’s place, and Jess and I both aren’t doing anything there. Jessica doesn’t want to fuck another man where Roger could see (he knows what’s going on, but that doesn’t mean he wants to watch it unless he’s in the front playing Patty Cake with Jess. Yes, that happened, no, I’m not talking about it here.), and I’m not inclined to screw a man’s wife under his own damned roof. It’s just…not right in my book. I like to think I got ethical standards when I DON’T think the other half of the equation is a raging jackass.
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Outside the bathroom in Anon’s office, Jessica and Panda, not being invited to the little party in the shower, opted to keep themselves busy.
The older woman of the two was dressed in the standard sexy secretary outfit, a tight fitting, now open and exposing a black silk bra that had been pulled under her heaving breasts, white blouse and a hiked up black mini-skirt. Her legs were garbed in purple high heels and tan stockings that were attached to a garter belt under the skirt and a small pair of panties that matched the bra.
Young Panda on the other hand had opted for her standard casual wear that day. A white tank top that might as well have been painted on, equally tight jeans that clung to the bottom of her hips with a white thong under them clinging to the top of said hips. Her own shirt had been lifted up, revealing that the Hispanic Toon had forgone wearing a bra, exposing her breasts for all to see, and the front of her pants had been undone, pretty much exposing the entirety of her thong.
The reason for their dishevelment could be traced to…well…just looking at them. Panda was seated in Jessica’s lap, the older Toon’s hands busying themselves with one massaging the younger’s more than generous tits and the other burying itself under her thong and rubbing Panda’s dripping snatch while the younger Toon nestled herself against Jessica’s own melons, her hands pawing at the pink tipped mountains while her head leaned up and met with Jessica’s, both women engaged in a rather heated kiss.
“Mmmph…” Panda moaned into Jessica’s mouth before pulling down, a rope of saliva falling away between them. “Y’know, I can’t say I’ve thought about screwin another chick before.”
“Oh?” Jessica cooed as she moved the hand on Panda’s breasts to the side of the younger Toon’s face and began stroking her soft cheek. “So would you like me to stop?”
A playful smirk formed on Panda’s face. “Now I didn’t say that chica! Your fingers have been giving me a lot to think about!”
“Just my fingers huh?” Jessica spoke with a pout. “Guess I’m gonna have to up the ante.” With that, she grabbed Panda’s face with her free hand and forced their mouths together once more, this time the redhead took a more aggressive stance as she mashed their lips together in what would be bruising force had Panda been a human woman.
With a muffled growl Jessica stood up, lifting Panda up with her, before breaking the liplock and dropping the squirming teen onto her desk. With one of her hands, pinned the smaller woman down by the neck while her free hand yanked down Panda’s pants and panties in one pull.
“Ohhhh!” Panda cooed as she wiggled her now bare ass, “Mamá has a dominant streak! Are you gonna get rough with your little chica?”
“Oh, you have no idea…” Jessica hissed before placing the thumb from her free hand in her mouth and began to blow, inflating her clit till it was about the size of Anon’s dick. Satisfied with the girth, she grabbed Panda by her hips and flipped her around, letting the Latina Toon look at Jessica’s inflated clit with wide eyes.
“Holy shit, that’s a neat trick.” Panda whispered as her hands gently rubbed the tip of Jessica’s enlarged clit. Jessica just gave a sultry smile as she climbed onto the desk and moved atop the younger Toon, her clit dick pressed against Panda’s pussy lips.
“So how do you want it Panda?” Jessica all but moaned out. “Nice and slow, or hard and mean?”
Panda just licked her lips and spread her legs wide. “Hard and mean Mamá! Treat me like the bad little chica I am!”
“Oh, I can do that little girl.” Jessica hissed out before thrusting inside of Panda’s snatch, bottoming out in one single fuck as their hips slammed together.
“HOLY FUCK!” The younger woman shrieked. Looking down she could see a large bulge in her where Jessica’s clit was all but buried in her depths. With a smug smile, she looked up at Jessica as best as she could. “Well don’t let me stop ya Mamá! Give it to me!”
Seeing Panda could take the abuse, Jessica’s hips rose up, a loud slurping noise filling the ears of both women as Panda’s soaking pussy tried desperately to keep Jessica’s clit in its depths. Just as the busty redhead had nearly pulled out completely, she thrust back in, drawing a moan from Jessica as she enjoyed the wet and warm tightness and a shriek from Panda as she was filled once more. Jessica repeated this motion, over and over, growing faster with every thrust until the desk shook from every impact as she nearly jackhammered the smaller woman under her.
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Back in Anon’s shower, Cindi’s arms had wrapped themselves around the back of Anon’s head, her fingers burying themselves in his hair, to help her pull herself into a possessive and tongue filled kiss, both parties moaning into the other’s mouth with every lift and drop of the smaller woman as he fucked her with long, slow strokes.
Finally, she broke off the kiss and growled at Anon, her grip on him tightening as she did. “Who owns this cock, lover?”
“You do!” Anon snarled back as his own hands roughly groped Cindi’s firm asscheeks has his hips ground into her own. “And who owns this snatch I’m buried in?”
“You do!” Cindi hissed as she felt Anon’s dick rub her depths. “Now make good use of it and make me cum already!”
With that, Anon and Cindi fell to the floor of his shower, the water mostly hitting Anon’s back while Cindi landed on the floor. Quickly becoming situated to the new position, Anon began rapidly thrusting into Cindi, the redhead shrieking in joy at every thrust.
“OH CLAMPETT YES! FUCK ME ANON! FUCK ME LIKE YOU JUST GOT OUT OF PRISON!”
Anon groaned as he felt the near velvet lining of Cindi’s pussy clamp down on him. “That might just happen if you keep up the noise and my neighbors complain you crazy bitch!” The red-haired Toon’s only response was to wrap her legs around his waist, forcing him to fuck her more rapidly and in shorter thrusts.
“FUCK YOUR NEIGHTBORS!” Cindi screeched as her hands raked across the detective’s back in a frenzy. “LET’EM WATCH! I WANT THEM TO WATCH YOU MAKE! ME! FUCKING! CUUUUUMMMM!” With one last strong thrust from Anon, both partners felt their dams break as they came hard, Cindi’s juices practically exploding over both of their pelvises, and Anon’s cum all but flooding Cindi’s depths.
The two lay there for a few moments, the water from the shower feeling much heavier to their sensitive bodies. Eventually, enough strength returned to Anon that he could lift himself up enough to look Cindi in the face, both lovers panting heavily from their activities. Without a word, Anon lowered his face down to Cindi’s and met her for a rather gently kiss, the sounds of smacking lips mingling with the running water.
“Mmm.” Cindi moaned as her lover broke away. “You still feeling up for a few rounds Anon?” At said detective’s silent nod, she smirked mischievously. Well, what do you say you carry me out there and give your intern and secretary a good show?”
Anon returned Cindi’s smirk with one of his own. “Sounds like a plan to me!” As soon as he began to pull out of Cindi’s depths however, the sexy redhead tightened up the grip her legs had on him.
“I didn’t say pull out when you carry me out.” Cindi purred as she gently stroked her detective’s face. Anon’s smirk widened as he lifted the both of them up and, after fidgeting with the shower knobs and door, started marching back toward his office.
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Back in said office, Jessica had fallen forward, pinning Panda under her, the younger Toon’s face becoming smothered by Jessica’s larger breasts as the older woman’s thrusts became more manic and frenzied. Her desk rocked back and forth wildly with every impact and both girls screamed in bliss. Panda’s legs had taken to flailing wildly while her hands groped and squeezed Jessica’s tits, ensuring her face would be completely smothered as she motorboated the larger woman.
“OH FUCK PANDA!” Jessica wailed. “HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU SO TIGHT!?”
“MMPHRL!” Panda shouted back before returning to nuzzling the redhead’s melons wrapped around her face, kissing and licking at every inch she could. This only encouraged Jessica to slam into the Latina woman harder, the redhead’s ass and tits jiggling with every thrust.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!” The older woman growled with every impact, her perfectly manicured nails digging into the wood of her desk as her hands clenched tighter and tighter. “I’m cumminig! You little skank, you’re actually making…me…HUURG!” Jessica grit her teeth as she slammed in one last time before her body went stiff, her fluids splattering between her and Panda’s pelvises.
“MMPH!” Panda screamed into Jessica’s tits as her own orgasm hit her, he smooth legs shooting up straight as her own cum mingled with Jessica’s.
Eventually the high passed for both Toon women, and they both collapsed onto the desk breathing heavily (Or tried to in Panda’s case, though the tit flesh around her face made that rather difficult). Eventually, Jessica managed to lift herself off the smaller woman. She looked down to see her breasts were coated in a thin layer of lipstick and the girl responsible had a dazed expression and a wide grin on her face. The older woman scotched down till she was face to face with the Latina Toon.
“So? How was I?”
Panda blinked a bit as she contemplated that question before shaking her head and giving a shrug of her shoulders. “Eh. It wasn’t bad but I think I prefer being with a man.” She then lifted her legs, catching Jessica’s still enlarged clit between them and gently rubbed it up and down, causing the older woman to groan. “I mean, this was nice, but without that blast of cum it’s just not the same.
“Hmmm” Jessica moaned as she pulled her hips beck, freeing her clitty from Panda’s ministrations. “What do you say I try and change your mind about that then?” With sultry smiles on both women’s faces, they both leaned into a passionate kiss, their tongues wrestling with one another.
“Um…” a new voice started, causing both women’s eyes to open with irises shrunken from panic. “Is…is this the Anon E. Mus detective agency?” Two sets of eyes darted towards the door of the office where, standing in the doorway, were two women dressed in police officer uniforms, one blushing wildly, and the other palming her face at the sight. The two pairs of women sat in stunned quiet for a few moments until, in a grand display of comedic timing; the bathroom door was kicked open by a fully nude Anon marching out with a still wet Cindi still impaled on his erect member.
“ALRIGHT LADIES!” Anon bellowed as Cindi squealed in his arms. “WHO’S READY FOR A…party…”
Looking around the room, the two lovers found themselves in the center of a most awkward situation. Without so much as a noise, Anon slowly walked backwards to the bathroom once more, and slowly shut the door.
“Well,” one of the officers began with annoyance dripping off her every word, “based on the rumors this is most certainly the right place.”
Literal decades of this bit, and I still haven’t learned to lock the damned door.
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A few minutes later, with everyone now properly dressed and Cindi now long gone with steam practically escaping her head, Anon was sat at his desk with Panda nearby taking notes on whatever she felt would help her future career as a P.I.
In front of his desk were the two women from before, sitting in their own chairs. Now that things had calmed down a fair bit, he could take a better look at them. Both women were obvious Toon ladies and were garbed in the standard police uniforms of the LAPD, tight fitting short sleeved shirts and pants with well polished suits, but in much lighter shades of blue. Their badges gave their ranks and I.D. numbers but had TTPD engraved in place of LAPD. What stood out the most though was the looks of the women themselves. They were both catgirls that stood as tall as Anon.
The first of the women was the most human looking of the two, with a human shaped body and a face that was, aside from the pointed fur covered ears that were placed where a human’s would be and pink facial markings, pretty much human, with her lovely pink eyes standing out the most. Everything else about her though was clearly based around making her somewhat cat like. Her toned arms were coated in a layer of soft looking brown fur with a trio of darker spots on each of her shoulders, her rather noticeable cleavage displayed a lighter shade of much thinner fur that most likely extended further down, her long blonde hair reached down to the middle of her back and carried a few more dark spots in it, while her hands looked as though they ended in claws.
The other woman was far more cat like in her design. Her face and overall shape was still humanish, but her nose was more like a feline’s, sloping down and ending in a black dot where her nostrils were. Her ears were coated in short tan fur, as was the rest of her body if her face was any indication, but unlike her partner they stuck up straight on top of her head, again, much like a house cat. Her hair stood out just as much as the other woman’s, being mostly black and reaching just below her shoulders, but the sides that drooped down the sides of her face were white which actually accented her lovely brown eyes quite well.
The Toon woman with the tan fur cleared her throat and extended a hand towards Anon who, still trying to avoid eye contact with the latest people to catch him and his ladies mid coitus, fumbled a bit before he was able to grab the hand in a strong shake. “Mr. Mus? My name is Lieutenant Feral, and this,” she gestured to the blonde next to her, “is my partner Lieutenant Cheetara. We’re with the Toon Town Police Department and, as much as it pains me to say this, we have a job for you.”
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Okay kids! Time for a bit of a history lesson! You remember way back in the earlier chapters how I mentioned that Toon Town’s police were a fun combination of corrupt and/or inept? I should’ve mentioned that in past tense because that hasn’t really been the case for a long while now. What happened to change that you may ask? Three words.
The seventies happened.
Now, most of you are gonna be too young to remember this, but the 70’s was an absolute SHIT of a decade. That’s not just me being an old grouch grumbling about how “things were better in my day”, that’s stated fact. The only person who’ll look you in the eye and tell you that the 70’s was an optimistic and innocent time is a freaking lunatic. In pretty much every city in the country you had massive crime waves, drug epidemics, you name it, it was fucking things up for people, and L.A. and Toon Town were NO exceptions.
Now, Toon Town has always been rather laissez faire on the subject of narcotics. See, because Toons don’t really share the same biological systems as humans, the various drugs we make don’t really tend to affect them to any major degree. Weed, cocaine, Black Tar Heroin, a Toon could down a ton of each, enjoy a good buzz, and never run the risk of getting addicted to the stuff. Oh, that doesn’t mean there aren’t Toon drugs, but those are specially made for Toons and wouldn’t do much anything for humans.
As a result, Toon Town didn’t used to crack down on narcotics back in the day. There was a market, sure, but without the addiction it was always a small and unreliable market. There were always tourists, but again, they’d leave sooner than later. Basically, drugs weren’t really worth bothering people over.
But of course, leave it to a few opportunistic assholes to ruin things for the rest of us.
See, while Toon Town was a lackluster market, it was right next door to L.A. which was a MUCH better market. Hollywood stars just aren’t the same without their piles of blow after all, and Toon Town didn’t really have any laws banning the production of narcotics. So you’d get jackasses making all kinds of shit on the Toon Town end, and enjoy an hour long smuggling path into L.A.. Eventually though, all “good” things must come to an end, and Toon Town had to put a stop to it.
At first the idea was to just pass the new laws and bring in the LAPD to deal with things. It worked for a bit, but a new problem rose up VERY quickly. See, Toon Town, if you have somehow yet to notice, ain’t exactly a conductive place for logical search methods what with the moving buildings and shifting streets. Add in that a number of the producers of the trade were Toons themselves, and LA’s finest were left holding empty bags more often than not. They then tried bringing in Toon Town specialists like myself and Eddy Valliant to try and train the flatfoots to better learn how to make Toon Town work for them (Made for a lucrative series of paydays for me, I’ll tell you what.) and while that helped, it became apparent that if Toon Town was going to deal with this issue they were gonna have to deal with it themselves.
So the mayor at the time, who you’d know better as Mayor Mayor from the Powerpuff Girls funnily enough (The guy is actually a capable politician when he’s not working TV. He’s actually Toon Town’s representative in Congress these days.), issued a full sweep of the TTPD, clearing out the useless doughnut eaters and the corrupt weasels (Though a few were kept around for the tourists and I know a Weasel is currently police commissioner), and appointed new cops from Toon Town’s citizenry. The positions were mostly filled by superheroes or action Toons like Race Bannon, but more than a few comedy Toons were willing to step up to do their part.
Long story short? It worked. Oh, there’s still some issues these days, especially with the Toon focused drugs, but things aren’t NEARLY so bad as they were.
So yeah there I was, in my office, having exposed a soon to be orgy to a pair of COMPETENT cops. Great start to my day.
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“Well,” Anon began as he tried desperately to focus on a coffee stain on his desk, “can’t say I’ve ever been told it pains someone to need to hire me before. So what can I do for you two officers?”
The two cat women in blue looked around the office, seeing nothing but Anon’s intern, now clad in her black and armored cheerleader outfit taking notes, and his now decent secretary sorting through some old paperwork. Their concerns met, they leaned in closer to the detective.
“Normally we wouldn’t be coming to you for this one,” Cheetara spoke in a low whisper, “but this situation is serious enough that we really need a human perspective here.”
Feral chimed in with her own whispers, “It involves nothing but humans you see, and our profilers are…less than adapt at dealing with human psychology.”
That bit of information caused Anon to look up and look the two ladies before him in the eyes, his own wide with shock at hearing this. “Um…ladies,” be began in an uncertain tone, “I know I tend to moonlight when money is tight, but I’m about as qualified to profile as Goofy is to teach Do it Yourself classes. Shouldn’t you be talking to…I dunno…The Feds?”
Both ladies cringed, Feral more so than Cheetara, before the blonde provided an answer. “Yes…well…the thing of it is, the people involved in this is something the higher ups would rather keep under wraps.”
An eyebrow on Anon’s face rose. Not every day he was involved in something like this. “Higher ups? How higher up are we talking here?”
“The Mayor.” The spotted blonde answered plainly. “Truth be told, they don’t even want us to tell you all the details here. Heck, the only reason WE know is because we responded to the initial call. Outside of us, no one but Mayor Briggs, no one knows anything.”
“Oookay.” Anon spoke in a fair amount of shock. “Can’t say I’ve ever taken a job where I don’t know a damned thing before. So why all the secrecy?”
Feral massaged her brow while growling out an answer. “If we could tell you why, we wouldn’t need all the damned secrecy! Look, if you take the job we can fill you in at the Mayor’s office, otherwise we’ll be walking right out the door and taking this to Eddy Valliant and his daughter. The only reason we came to you first is because you don’t have squads of Paparazzi following you all day! Now will you take the job or not?!”
Hurtful, but I had to appreciate the honesty.
Anon went quiet for a moment before looking towards the other two leading ladies in his life. Jessica just shrugged at the whole matter. Made sense she wouldn’t have too much of an interest there. With the connections she and Roger made in their film careers, she’d find out about this sooner or later. Panda on the other hand looked at him with a look that screamed excited, yet was mixed with no small amount of hopefulness, clearly wanting to be brought in on this case.
With an exaggerated sigh, Anon looked back to the Toon Cat ladies. “I’ll take the case, but my intern has to come with. She needs to learn all she can after all, and it wouldn’t be fair to leave her out of this.”
Both cat women sighed, though Cheetara’s was more in relief while Feral’s was out of aggravation. “Fine,” the tan furred woman growled out as she and her partner rose up. “Let’s get going then, I don’t think we have enough time for you to grab another shower.”
Jessica and Panda both snickered as Anon turned red. “Well excuse me for not expecting company when my girlfriend is over.” He spat out as he left his desk, grabbing a trench coat and wide brimmed fedora from nearby.
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After the second most awkward ride in a police car Anon had ever had, the quartet of people found themselves in front of Toon Town’s city hall. Being a Toon Town facility, the building was built as stereotypically as possible. It was a large white building with the center having a dome atop a dome with a U.S. flag at the tip, with a pair of “wings” on the sides, and all of it was surrounded by massive white pillars.
Without a word, the group marched in, where a surprisingly ordered environment awaited them. People in lines for various services stood ramrod straight, phones rang and were quickly answered, all the desks were manned and emitting the sounds of clacking keys as various bureaucrats busied themselves with various paperwork.
Not what you were expecting huh? Well it’s not that surprising. Nothing terrifies a Toon more than bureaucracy, nothing they can really have fun with there, so they make sure to try and get things done quickly and right so they can do anything else.
With various nods to the paper pushers they passed, the group eventually made it to the mayoral office. Inside was a surprisingly wide room with various books on polished wooden shelves, a fine blue carpet, leather chairs, large windows that allowed one a surprisingly good look at Toon Town Central, a large polished desk, and behind that desk sat Mayor Briggs herself, her hands massaging her brow.
Much like the two ladies who brought Anon in, she was a catwoman much the same as Feral was, though a few inches shorter than Anon. Her body was coated in a rather thick layer of tanned fur with the exception of the long flowing blonde hair that was sharing space with a pair of cat ears atop her head. From what Anon could see, she was dressed in a white blouse with a blue tie with both being covered up by what looked to be a dark pink combination of a jacket with those shoulder pads women seemed to love back in the day and a equally dark pink skirt that reached just under her kneecaps that somehow allowed her long, bushy tail to poke through. Sitting atop the brow of her nose (which ended in a similar fashion as Feral’s though hers was pink) were a pair of glasses that seemed to be designed to be one large lens rather than two separate ones, which really did a lot to accentuate her light green eyes in Anon’s humble opinion.
Gentlemen and what few ladies read these things, allow me to introduce Toon Town’s humble Mayor, Callie Briggs. Yes, the Deputy Mayor from Swat Kats. It’s kinda funny how many Toons played politicians and then went on to work in politics. It’s kinda NOT so funny how many of them turn out to be terrible at it. Thankfully, the honorable Miss Briggs is probably the best mayor we’ve had since Mayor Mayor. She’s done a lot to plan out the various expansions Toon Town has needed over the decades, and her handling of the Flash Toons population growth was inspired as far as I’m concerned.
“Madam Mayoress.” Feral began, getting the elected official’s attention. “We’ve brought in the Dick like you asked.”
I swear she meant that as a dig at me.
A happy sigh came from Callie as her hands fell. “Thank god. I’ve got reporters calling in every hour trying to get an interview. They smell blood in the water I swear.” As she looked up, a surprised look came over her face as she looked at Panda. “Feral, Cheetara. I do believe I told you two to only bring Anon. Who’s this?”
Before Anon could stop her, Panda rushed forward and offered her hand to the Mayor with a wide grin on her face. “Panda DelGado Ma’am! Nice to meet ya! I’m Anon’s intern so anything you have to say can and should be said to me too, I’ll be just as hush hush about it! Also, can I say that I quite happily voted for you in the last election!?”
It’s true. She did. Really gotta help her work on her etiquette though, but points for trying to butter up the client.
Callie just stared at the busty Latina Toon for a moment before taking the offered hand in a shake with how own smile. “A pleasure. Always nice to meet my constituents.” She then looked at Anon with an amused smirk. “That said, I didn’t know P.I.s were in the habit of taking interns. Was the costume her idea, or do you just have a thing for cheerleaders?”
Anon walked over and grabbed his wayward intern by the scruff of her shirt, lifting her up in the air almost effortlessly as she squawked indignantly. “Her idea Miss. Please excuse my intern’s exuberance, she’s still relatively new to the whole thing and hasn’t really learned proper decorum yet.”
Callie chuckled at the antics before turning to the officers still in the room, Feral looking annoyed and Cheetara struggling not to laugh. “Thank you both. Could you please wait outside and make sure no one comes in? I can make sure they know what’s going on myself.”
With a pair of nods the Cats in Blue left the room, leaving Anon and the still dangling Panda alone with their elected official. With a put upon sigh, Callie collapsed into the chair behind her desk and just went limp. “Take a seat you two. You’re not going to want to be standing when I tell you why you’re here.”
With a shrug, Anon walked over to a smaller, less glamorous set of leather chairs positioned around a table that had a pitcher of water and two drinking glasses on it. He dropped Panda into one of the chairs facing towards the mayor’s desk before taking the remaining chair pointing that way.
“You mind if I drink while we talk?” Anon asked as he reached for the pitcher, “Been a bit, and I’m a little parched.” At the mayor’s nod, Anon filled both the glasses, the second of which Panda took. “So,” Anon asked as he lifted his drink, “So, I rather doubt Toon Town’s Mayor would call on me for a social call, and I doubt very much you want my thoroughly uneducated opinion on public policy, so may I ask what you need from me your honor?”
As Dick and Intern started sipping from their glasses, Callie opted to just flat out drop the bomb. “The Animator has been kidnapped.”
What followed was the Adult human and Teenaged Toon performing a simultaneous spit take, blasting each other with a water spray before the duo stared wide eyed at Callie.
“WHAT!?” They both screamed, though Panda’s was more in a panic while Anon’s was more shock.
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Time for another dump of info on you poor saps. I know, not what you’re here for, but this is something you REALLY need to know.
You remember how I said awhile back that, aside from me, there was only one human living here in Toon Town? That would be The Animator. So who’s the Animator? Well, again, you remember how I talked about those statues in Toon Town Central of various creators and voice actors, and how they may hold great respect and reverence for those people, they don’t actively worship them? Well, there’s one statue there of the ONE person that Toons come very, very close to worshipping. That of The Animator. So, why is this guy so important? Simple.
He’s the one who created the technique to bring Toons to life.
Yeah, kind of a big deal in a lot of circles. Oh sure, there are plenty of Animators who can do what he does, but that’s because he’s the one who TAUGHT them! Walt Disney, Tex Avery, Don Bluth, Ralph Bakshi, Genndy Tartakovsky, Lauren Faust, every cartoon creator worth a damn has learned from the man. (The rest learned from those who learned who learned from him.) Pretty much every Toon walking around today owes everything to this guy, and it’s also the reason why you don’t see fanart versions of various characters running around and why any dipwad with a pencil and too much time on his hands doesn’t flood the world with characters.
You may have noticed just how wide a gap in time there is between those names I mentioned is, as well as the fact that I’m referring to the guy in present tense. Yeah, that was intentional. He’s still kicking. Honestly, no one knows how, and even less people know how old he actually is.
So yeah, him being kidnapped is kind of a big deal.
-------------------------------------------------
Mayor Briggs just stared at the now bug eyed duo with a pained look on her face. “Yeah. The Animator. We don’t know who did it or why or even how they knew about him, but we do know someone broke into his Apartment in Classic Toon Town and made off with him.” She then looked right at Anon, her eyes showing a deadly amount of seriousness that Toons weren’t usually known for. “That’s why we want you involved. We don’t know anything about human psychology, and we thought you could offer some insight on what we may be missing, and you may have a reputation but most people still don’t know who you are so we can still keep this quiet. I don’t think I need to tell you how bad it would be if word of this got out to the rest of Toon Town.”
Anon just nodded, his eyes still wide but not bulging as much. “I understand Ma’am. I’m assuming you want me to take a look at the crime scene first?”
A nod from the Blonde cat woman was all the permission Anon needed to stand, with Panda quickly following suit with a serious look on her face as she did so. “I’ll get you everything I can your honor.” With that, Anon spun around toward the door and marched off, Panda following and closing the door behind her.
Alone in her office once more, Callie fell toward her desk, her head hitting the animated wood with a loud thunk as the stress from the day fell upon her all at once.
“At least it’s not an election year.” She muttered.
--------------------------------
In most missing person cases, I’d have to ask if the client was certain about who their suspects were. After all, Toons are just as able to kidnap people as humans, so to assume it was one or the other right off the bat would be stupidity 99 times out of 100. There’s just one thing that pretty much guarantees that it had to have been a human that did this.
No Toon in their right mind would hurt The Animator.
That’s not exaggeration, that’s not an overstatement, that’s nothing but stone cold fact. Dick Dastardly would throw a race to let the guy win, Darkseid from the DCEU would offer him back rubs, freaking Gaston would call him sir! Most Toons would be willing to be Dipped before letting the guy be harmed, so the chances of a Toon being responsible for his disappearance is as close to zero as you can get before you’re just writing bad fanfiction.
Of course, that still doesn’t really help me here. The amount of humans who even knew about The Animator and were still alive could be counted on one hand. Include the amount of people who knew where he lived and you could count it on a woodshop teacher’s hand. So my suspects list was incredibly small, and hidden better than the theoretical offspring of Waldo and Carmen Sandiego.
I’ve made do with less.
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A lone police cruiser drove down the winding and shifting roads of Toon Town, carrying it’s four occupants deeper and deeper into Toon Town Center’s own center. Old Toon Town, or Toon Town Classic according to its citizenry.
Inside the car, the three Toon women had faces locked into the kind of serious expressions you didn’t normally see on Toons. They were stony looks, much akin to soldiers about to be deployed into a hot zone, all business with no real sign of mirth or amusement. The odd man out in the group being the…well..one odd man in the group. Anon looked particularly agitated and fidgety, constantly squirming about in the back seat and looking out the windows with no small amount of dread.
Looking into the rearview mirror, Lieutenant Feral glared at the jumpy P.I.. “What’s got your panties in a twist dick?” She spoke plainly, though with a fair amount of coldness.
If Anon noticed the hostility, he didn’t show it, instead focusing on the outside world slowly shift in art style as they went deeper into the city. “Nothing,” he muttered, “I just…REALLY don’t like going into this part of the city…”
Seeing her boss in obvious distress made Panda want to help take his mind off things, but their current location made her usual ideas for helping that issue none too feasible. Oh, she had no issue with sucking him off in public locations, but she had enough of a sense of decency to make sure they’d be hidden from sight for it. Looking at Cheetara though gave her an idea for something else that could get his mind off of things.
“So, spots,” she began cheerfully, “didn’t your hair used to be a lot shorter? I think I remember you from this show back in the 80’s that had a bunch of other cat people on it, but you looked a lot different.”
Cheetara smiled at hearing that. “Well, nice to meet someone with good taste in television. Yeah, that was me. The series got rebooted back in the aughts so I got myself a redraw for it. Most of us did actually.” Her smile turned a bit more wistful as she thought back to that. “We were all so excited for a return to form. It was so nice to be back on TV while it lasted.”
For those wondering, think of Redraws as Toon Plastic Surgery, but with less nightmares if something goes wrong. Sorry, but I know there’s at least ONE person who wouldn’t get the context there.
Recognition dawned on Anon’s face. “Oh yeah, I remember now! Thundercats, right?” At the spotted blonde’s nod Anon continued, “Yeah, that reboot was great! Kinda felt like the writers spent too much time sucking off Tigra and dumping on Lion-O though.”
Cheetara let out a laugh at hearing that. “You know Tigra himself said the same thing? Lion-O was too excited to be on a show again to really care, but Tigra felt uncomfortable with how much the writers seemed to like him.”
Anon then turned to the Brunette Cat Woman driving the car. “And you’re Felina Feral from Swat Kats, right?” Said Officer just nodded, her expression not changing much. “Geeze, that’s a coincidence. Two cat ladies from shows that ended way before their time, it’s enough to make me think my life is just one series of contrived coincidences.”
“Great” Felina muttered. “A dick who’s a fanboy. Next you’ll tell me he has one of those damned fursuits at his orgy den of an office.”
“Hang on,” Anon continued, clearly ignoring Felina’s mutterings, “Wasn’t there a new Thundercats show coming out? Shouldn’t you be working on that?”
Feral’s eyes widened in fear as the air inside the car dropped to near freezing, with the highest concentration being set in Cheetara’s corner of the vehicle. The windows around her actually started to frost up as the Spotted Blonde Kitty’s smile became a lot more forced. As her head slowly rotated, Anon and Panda found themselves instinctively moving toward the other for safety.
“Please do not mention that bean mouthed abomination around me ever again.” Cheetara spoke sweetly, though each word was dripping with the kind of malice Anon never wanted to hear again. The duo nodded rapidly as the cruiser came to a screeching halt.
“OKAYWE’REHERE!” Felina shouted as she practically kicked down the driver side door and leaped from the car with Anon and Panda following in similar manners. Cheetara simply unbuckled her belt and left the vehicle calmly, the door cracking slightly from the ice around it breaking.
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Y’know, I mostly love living in Toon Town. The insanity from the inhabitants and even the town itself is an acquired taste, but if you can acquire it this place grows on ya, doubly so if you learn how to make the place work for you. It never gets old climbing buildings just by walking up the wall, avoiding falls by not noticing the floor is gone or even just painting an exit door when you need a quick escape.
That last one has saved my hide from Lena Hyena so many times I can’t even tell you.
That said, there’s one place in Toon Town I absolutely cannot stand. One place I will avoid going to unless I absolutely have to.
Old Toon Town.
Now, most cities will have their older parts that the locals will tell you to stay away from. You know the type, the ones where the criminal element tends to congregate and basically takes over. Hell, there are places in L.A. where you have to ask the local gangs if you can film a movie instead of the government. Old Toon Town isn’t like that though.
See, when Toon Town was first established, this place was drawn in the old style of cartoons. Black and white and all that. As the place grew, the buildings became more modern in their designs, adding color and more architecture types, eventually leaving the more classic look deep in the center of the city. So why don’t I like that part of town you ask?
Because the buildings in those old pictures were freaking ALIVE!
I’m not even kidding here, more often than not, buildings back in the day were just as animated as the characters. Usually they’d just be jiggling and wiggling with the music, but you’d often see them with faces and talking. Putting aside how freaky that is to look at outside of film, the idea of actively living inside a living creature just freaks me out to no small end.
I swear, I respect and appreciate The Animator with all my being, but I will NEVER forgive him for choosing THIS endless spawn of nightmares to live.
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The team stood outside of a tall grayscale apartment complex that was surrounded on all sides by various buildings of other types. The building itself wasn’t much to talk of beyond the standard look most city apartments were, but it looked to be squirming heavily, as though it were in a great amount of pain.
“That normal for these things?” Anon asked as he stared uncomfortably at the building.
“Not really.” Felina answered. “I mean, they usually move, but not like that.”
Without another word, the group strode into the complex and after a fairly long and uncomfortable elevator ride, found themselves standing in front of the shattered remains of what used to be a door. Said object looked to have been blasted in from the outside, a pile of wiggling animated splinters and a doorknob the only sign said door ever existed in the first place.
“Well,” Panda spoke as she looked at the remains, “at least they were polite enough to knock first.”
Feral let out a…well…feral growl as she pushed the Dick and Dick Intern in. “Shut up and get to looking around will ya!? Just tell us what we need to be looking for!” The P.I. Duo grunted as they stumbled into the Apartment. After taking a moment to straighten themselves out, they began scanning the place they found themselves in.
It was, to put a not so fine point to it, a total wreck. Furniture was knocked over, dishes shattered, various knick knacks like framed photos scattered, the shredded remains of a canvas tossed around like so much confetti, if Anon didn’t know any better he’d assume that a college fraternity had been through. What stood out most to Anon though were two things. The first being that there was no blood stains to be found. Normally a person who’s being kidnapped will put up something of a fight, necessitating a good strike to the noggin to knock them out, both of which normally causes some blood to fall. The second was what the duo saw in the walls that drew raised brows from them both.
Bullet holes in the walls.
Now, while I utterly despise living in Classical Toon Architecture, I fully admit they have ONE good upside. They’re just this side of indestructible. Any abuse you could throw at them normally just results in what hit them bouncing off, usually hitting you in retaliation. So seeing bullet holes in these walls was nothing short of weird.
As the duo stared at the wall, Anon spoke out to the cops in the room. “Did you guys gather any evidence yet?”
“Not yet.” Cheetara spoke plainly. “We were too busy keeping the place secure to do much beyond photographing the scene.”
At that answer, Anon reached into a pocket in his trench coat and pulled out a pair of latex gloves and a pen light, while Panda pulled out a small pair of tweezers from…somewhere on her person. “Mind if we dig around a bit then?” The Hispanic Toon asked the older women with a smile.
Felina just rolled her eyes. “Whatever, as long as you two don’t contaminate anything. Last thing we need is your fingerprints or her paint all over everything.
Anon rolled his eyes and leaned in close to his intern. “You Toons didn’t start getting periods in the 90’s did you? This lady has been busting my balls all damned day.” Anon muttered low enough to hopefully ensure neither of the Cat Cops could hear.
Panda shook her head no. “Sorry boss, best I can figure we found the one Toon in town with a stick up her ass off the set.”
With a put upon sigh, Anon focused the beam of his tiny flashlight into the bullet hole. Looking into the gaping injury he could see the telltale shine of metal indicating the tip of a bullet imbedded in the black and white wood, but surprisingly there were little sparkles reflecting the light along the walls of the makeshift tunnel. A frown formed on Anon’s face as he tried to take a closer look. Seeing that just seeing wasn’t getting him anywhere, he held out a hand to Panda who then placed the tweezers in his palm. Slowly he reached into the hole and grabbed one of the sparkling bits and gently pulled it out. Now free from the tiny cavern, the detective, intern, and two officers looked at the tiny object in the metal grip. A tiny shard of glass.
“How does glass end up in a bullet hole?” Cheetara asked as she pulled out a small baggie for the piece of evidence. Anon just shrugged before returning to the hole in the wall, pulling out as many shards as he could before focusing on the buried bullet. Thankfully, pulling that out took less effort than the glass, merely requiring a gentle pull, and revealing it answered the question as to where the glass came from.
The now exposed bullet tip looked odd just from size alone. It was on the larger end of handgun ammo, but it didn’t look like any kind the group had seen before. It was too big to be any type of .45, but not large enough to be a .500, instead striking an odd middle ground between the two. But what stood out most was the tip of the round. Instead of being made of solid metal, it looked to be made of hollow glass, the same as what Anon had been pulling out.
“Well. That’s new.” Anon muttered as he turned to the officers. “I fully admit I’m not up to date on my ammo types these days, but I’m guessing this isn’t normal?”
“Nope.” Feral said plainly as she bagged the bullet. “So, you got any idea what we’re looking at yet?”
Anon looked contemplative as he looked around the room again before giving an answer. “Well, for starters we’re dealing with someone who, at the very least, has money to burn. Custom made bullets like that can’t be cheap, and given how weird that thing’s size is, it probably took custom made guns to use it.” He gave another sweep of the floor. “We got no bloodstains, so either The Animator went willingly after a bit of strong arming, or he went willingly and the people who did it broke crap to throw people off.” He then moved over to a wall that had an oddly placed set of three windows all in a row and looked out into the city beyond, his face in deep thought. “Whoever it is, we’re dealing with someone who knows EXACTLY how valuable The Animator himself is, and wasn’t willing to hurt him.”
The room was quiet for a moment as the women in the room contemplated Anon’s conclusions. Suddenly, Feral marched up behind Anon and jabbed a finger into his back.
“THAT’S IT!?” She shouted. “We brought you all the way out here, bringing you in to a major scandal purely for your insight, and that’s all you can tell us!?”
“Hey! Cut him some slack!” Panda shouted in defense of her boss/fuckbuddy. “I don’t know what you know about psychology, but it’s kinda hard to get much more than what the boss got unless you can actually talk to people!”
With a snarl, Feral turned on the Teen Toon. “Listen here you slutty little brat! I didn’t bust my ass for years for my rank just to have to work with a dickhead Dick and his cheerleader fucktoy!”
As the two women argued with Cheetara trying to act as mediator between the two, Anon kept staring out the window, his eyes squinting as he looked at a building across the street, specifically at a window that looked level with the floor and room they were all in.
Y’know what’s funny about being a cop? It’s a job that, if you expect to last long, will instill instincts into you that you’ll never really shake off. Think sixth senses. You start to pick up on when you’re being watched, when someone’s planning on attacking you, or how to catch the glint of something JUUUUST out of sight. Such as what might be the glint of metal and glass off a sniper scope.
Now, instincts can be tricky things, especially in the early days and you haven’t fine tuned them yet. Sometimes the person you think is watching you is looking at the bird crap on your back that you failed to notice. Sometimes the punk looking to attack you with a pocketed blade was just grabbing some smokes and a lighter. Sometimes that sniper glint was just some guy with a camera bird watching.
That’s the thing about instincts though. For as much trouble as they can cause…
His eyes widening in panic, Anon turned towards the ladies and dove towards Felina, all the while screaming as loud as he could.
“GET DOWN!”
Without another word, Panda hit the floor, her tits mashing against the floor as Anon tackled Felina, launching the both of them toward Cheetara and causing all three to tumble into a heap on the ground. Just as they hit the floor, the window Anon was looking out shattered into the room as the sounds of gunshots echoed out from the building across from them, making new holes in the wall as the building shuddered and groaned in agony.
they tend to keep you out of so much more.
As the last of the glass shattered to the ground, the group quickly attempted to assess their situation. Panda, seeing the gunfire had stopped, rolled away towards the others, stopping only when she was FAR from the windows before leaning against the wall where she then reached into her shirt and pulled out her LMG from…somewhere in there.
“Boss!” She hissed out in a mild panic as she clung to her gun like a child would a stuffed toy. “Tell me you’re alright!”
“Mphr…”Anon’s muffled voice sounded out. Looking over, Panda could see her employer was currently nestled in between the two feline officers generous busts, Felina below him and Cheetara on top. Thankfully for Anon, neither of the two girls were from Japan so rather than beat him to a pulp, they just disentangled from one another while making sure they avoided the windows.
“I’m fine Panda.” Anon spoke with authority as he patted himself down. “Never thought I’d be dealing with sniper fire today though.”
The cat women in the group stared wide eyed at the window and newfound holes in the wall, shock evident in their eyes. “Well, I think we have a lead on who took the Animator if those are any indication.” Cheetara muttered.
Anon just let out a noncommittal grunt as he took his hat off and placed in on a long mop handle. He then slid it over and under the nearest window, making sure he was still on its side, and slowly rose the stick up till his hat was poking up from the windows bottom. More gunfire rang out as a series of holes were made in the wall under the window, one managing to nail the handle and causing it to shatter.
“Shit!” Anon hissed out as he dropped what was left of the mop. “Okay, this guy actually knows what he’s doing. Great.” He then turned to Panda. “How quick a shot are you with that thing?”
Panda just stared at Anon for a moment before turning to her gun and then back to her boss, now with a bewildered look on her face. “Are ya fucking with me boss!? I can shoot this thing, yeah, but if you want accuracy it’s gonna take me a bit and I ain’t standing still for a sniper with ammo that does THAT” she pointed at the newer bullet holes in the apartment, “ta Toon Town architecture!”
Anon couldn’t help but be reminded of his first day working with the good miss Delgado, but opted to keep the accusations of bullshit to himself for the time being. His options now limited, he turned to the two officers. “How about you two? Either of you quick on the draw?”
Cheetara looked downright offended at that line of questioning as she pulled out what looked to be an animated version of a Glock 22. “Anon, I’m not just based on a Cheetah because I look good in spots. Yes, I’m a quick shot.”
Anon just nodded as he reached into his jacket and pulled out a small compact. Opening it up, he slowly lifted it up to the corner of the window, looking at the reflection to hope for a better look at the sniper. Thankfully, with the sun pointing more in the marksman’s direction, Anon’s reflective surface went unnoticed and said detective was able to get a grasp on the situation.
“Alright, sniper boy is in the lower right room across from us. If we do this right, we should be able to get the drop on him.” He pointed at Cheetara. “You, take the window I’m by and lay down suppressing fire.” His finger then moved to Felina. “Feral, when Cheetara runs out of Ammo and needs to reload you take over shooting till she can get back into it, then you reload.” Finally, his finger landed on Panda. “While they’re doing that, you get set up in the center window and make sure that fucker can’t budge without ending up looking like swiss cheese.”
“So what are you gonna be doing?” Felina asked out of genuine concern. Anon’s face blanched as his part in the plan hit him.
“I’m gonna go introduce myself.” Anon muttered.
Without another word the ladies all took up their various positions, making sure to stay under the windows as much as possible while Anon moved to the window of the far left. The collective group took a moment to steel their nerves as the ladies readied their weapons.
“NOW!” Anon shouted, and without another word the Toons jumped into action.
Cheetara started the assault, firing directly into the open window below and causing the shooter’s rifle to move up before falling to the ground, the gunman clearly trying to take cover from the bullets. Just as Cheetara’s gun started to click, Feral joined in, firing at the open window but trying to keep an eye on the others in case the shooter tried to move spots. As the cat women were firing into the apartment across from them, Panda worked quickly to set up a bipod on her LMG, getting the oversized machine gun in position before opening fire onto the sniper’s spot, a veritable stream of bullets flying out as her entire body shook from the recoil.
As for Anon? He’d opened up his window and climbed out, steadying himself on the windowsill and gulping down a wad of nervous spit as he desperately tried to avoid looking anywhere near the direction of down he could get away with and readied himself for what could be the dumbest thing he’d ever done. With a deep breath to steady his nerves, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat, spread his arms till they made an odd kind of cape with his trench coat, leaped from the building and…
He proceeded to glide through the air like a kite, eventually landing on a windowsill on the other side.
Only in Toon Town folks, only in Toon Town.
The moment Anon landed on the sill, he pulled it open and attempted to pull off a combat roll into the room of the apartment only to somehow skid on the floor and end up tumbling into the wall with an audible thud. It spoke to how many times this had happened to him that he was able to recover from this and hop up on his feet before reaching into his coat and pulling out a long, black piece of metal and plastic that many would recognize as a M1014 Combat Shotgun with a collapsible stock that the detective quickly de-collapsed.
Allow me to tell you all a little secret. I am a TERRIBLE shot. No idea what it is about me, but I just cannot for the life of me hit a barn door with most firearms. It’s why I didn’t take up one of the suppressing positions in place of one of the ladies.
Thing is though? With a shotgun, and decent spread, accuracy is optional, and dear god do I love me my shotguns, and the crazy bastard who figured out how to fit more than two shells in the things!
Dashing forward, his gun primed and ready, Anon ran to the door that would lead him to the room the sniper was in and, with barely a break in his stride, reared back a leg and lashed out forward into the door…
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Inside the room, one could find the sniper, a tall and well built individual dressed entirely in rags and carrying what looked a large, black rifle with a long barrel underslung with a bipod, with what looked to be a trio of scopes on it’s top, currently huddled on the ground and at his absolute wits end. This was supposed to be a simple job, wait for that dickhead dick as his employer put it came in, then whack him and anyone he had with him. How the hell was he supposed to expect goddamned Toons to know how to handle sniper fire!?
Just as the gunfire from the women across from him cut off, giving him a chance to try and make a run for it, a loud thud came from the room next door to him. Just as he turned to look at where the noise came from, the door to said room flew off it’s hinges, slamming into the sniper and tossing him flat on his ass.
Toon Architecture. Nigh indestructible unless it’s funny!
Anon charged into the room right after, pointing his shotgun right at the now embedded in the wall door. The door then fell towards the detective with the sniper falling atop it right after.
“Allright asswipe!” Anon shouted in as authoritative tone as he could. “This is gonna go one of two ways! Either you surrender now, or you sign off for a shotgun pizza with extra buckshot!”
Had this been a movie, I would’ve cocked a shell to make the point. But, seeing how that just wastes a perfectly good shell, I opted to just point and glare.
Rather than give Anon the satisfaction of a response, the sniper rolled to his side and behind the couch before opening fire as wildly as he could in where he thought Anon’s general direction was, the bullets punching clear through the inked cloth and grazing Anon’s coat, forcing the Dick to haul ass away from the doorframe. With an annoyed grunt, Anon took aim at the ceiling and opened fire, launching a spread of buckshot into the drawn floor above. Much to the sniper’s shock and horror though, rather than embed themselves into the ceiling, the chunk of architecture bend inwards like rubber before bouncing back into shape and launching the buckshot back down directly at the gunman and forcing him to leap to the side once more, forcing him out of his cover and back in Anon’s sights.
The P.I. just gave a cocky smile as he aimed his gun, cocked out the now empty shell, and pulled the trigger.
*Click*
The telltale sound of an empty chamber however caused his smile to falter.
One of the top ten rules of gun ownership. When you need to use your gun, make sure the damned thing is properly loaded.
With a now sheepish grin, Anon lowered his firearm and slowly backed away from the now enraged marksman. “Hey now, why don’t we let bygones be bygones eh?” He stammered out nervously as the sniper readied his next shot. Thankfully for Anon, salvation was close at hand.
*WHVZZZ! CHUNK!*
In the form of a grappling hook with a rope attached to it combing between the two men, causing both of them to become distracted by the intrusion, and them more so by the intrusion it heralded.
“ON THE FLOOR JACKASS!”
With a battlecry only an irate cop could manage, Felina Feral slid in on the rope, delivering a sharp kick to the side of the sniper’s head and tossing him into a wall. Soon after, Panda swung in, and landed with a surprising amount of grace from the busty bounty hunter.
Anon let out a baited breath he’d had no idea he’d been holding. “Oh thank God…” His eyes then stared at the long rope clinging to the grapple. “Panda, please don’t assume I’m not grateful for the save, but where the hell did you get a grapple and zipline!?”
Panda stared at her boss with a smug grin before flipping a switch on the base of the grappling hook, causing it to retract into a long pole. She then grabbed the front of her shirt and slid the retracted grapple in between her more than generous breasts where it disappeared without a trace. Anon couldn’t help but look a bit closer, causing Panda’s grin to widen as she just out her chest proudly while Anon tried to once again come to terms with Toon lady storage space.
So many years, and it never ceases to amaze me.
“Right then,” Feral snarled out as she pointed her pistol at the perp. “You’ve got two options here buddy. Either you come quietly, or your Miranda Rights comes with a complimentary beating. Your choice, but I think you can guess which I’d prefer!”
“Aw, do we hafta do that?” Panda whined while hefting her gun up a bit to draw attention to it, “Ammo for this thing ain’t cheap and this dipshit made me use a LOT of it, so I’d rather not be nice here!”
Before the women could get into an argument, the sniper took the opportunity to quickly reach into his rags and pull out a large cylinder with a pin in its top which he quickly pulled before tossing the cylinder in between the human and Toons. With an ear splitting crack and a bright flash, the object revealed itself to be a flashbang, blinding and deafening the trio and allowing the gunman to make a break for the door in a mad dash.
“Fuck, fuck, FUCK!” The sniper screeched in his head as he ran. “This has gone so fucking WRONG! At this rate I’m gonna be lucky to get out of this with my head!” Reaching the door and flinging it open, he attempted to dart outside only to slam face first into something warm, fuzzy, and surprisingly soft. As he looked up, he saw the face of Cheetara, looking down upon him with a sweet smile on her lovely face. A smile so sweet that it distracted him from the left hook that sent him flying back into the room and onto the floor, allowing the detective and cops in the room to surround the now downed perp while Panda looked over his rifle with a whistle that would make Wolfie from Cindi’s cartoons nod in approval.
“Daaamn! Would ya lookit dis thing?!” Panda shouted as she held the firearm in awe. “I’ve never seen anything like it! It’s like some kinda sci-fi gun!” She then began fiddling with it to try and figure out how to dislodge it’s clip while the cops and dick focused on the sniper.
“So”, Feral said to her partner as the taller blonde readied a pair of cuffs, “what took you so long? Normally you’d have been here before I landed.”
Cheetara just shrugged as she rolled the gunman over and pinned his arms to his back before cuffing them together. “Not much to say. Got a bit tied up getting around people who were running when the gunshots started. Lot of tourists I couldn’t just trample over.”
Feral nodded as she kept her gun trained on the gunner. “Right then, let’s get this over with. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say…”
“Um…” Anon started with some concern, “Why is he twitching?”
Indeed, the sniper’s body had begun twitching and spasming violently, with a foamy puddle forming on the floor in the area around his mouth. Cheetara quickly flipped the perp over, revealing a mass of foam around his mouth and his eyes rolled to the back of his head as his body gave one final jerk before collapsing to the ground with no further movement, not even breathing.
“Uh…”Feral spoke with panic evident in her voice, “I know you aren’t a doctor Anon, but are humans supposed to do that?”
Anon shook his head and lowered himself to the sniper’s face, pulling out a pen from his jacket as he went. He then used the instrument to open the gunman’s mouth as wide as he could, revealing a now shattered molar in the back of his mouth and powdered remains around it.
“A cyanide pill?” Anon questioned as he continued to search, missing out on Feral’s face adopting a shocked look while Cheetara’s paled in horror. “Who the hell was this guy to have something like that?”
Before panic could set in among the group over their now dead perp, a harsh shriek from Panda drew their focus to the Teen Toon. There they saw she had dropped the rifle to the ground and was currently huddled up on top of a nearby chair and pointing down at the weapon. “T-t-the bullet!” she screamed out, her face locked in a look of complete fear. The dick and cops moved over to the rifle where they saw what Panda was talking about. Realization dawned on the officer’s faces as the leaped back to the walls of the room, hair on end and screaming themselves as Anon, carefully and slowly lifted up the bullet to get a better look at it.
Now, I’m no stranger to customized ammo. My police career may not have been particularly long, but I’ve seen more than my fair share of things like engraved bullets, custom bullet heads to cause specific kinds of damage, even bullets with their gunpowder chamber filled with little extras to cause things like fire to burst out on people they hit. I haven’t seen it all, but I have seen plenty, and I’ve NEVER seen anything like this. The main body of the thing was clearly based on a standard sniper kind of bullet, 7.62 mm for those at home. Long, thick in the lower half but thinner in the upper half with most of the body aside from the tip looking to be made of brass. Where this one differed however was the tip. See, most bullets of this type will have the tip made of a different kind of metal, one stronger than the rest of the body, to increase penetrative power. This will differ based on need, but generally it’ll be steel at minimum. This one though, wasn’t any kind of metal at all.
As Anon looked closely at the still primed bullet, he paid close attention to the tip. Rather than any kind of metal he’d seen before, it looked to be made of glass clear enough to see right through. As an added oddity, it was filled to near bursting with a strange green and brown liquid. A liquid any Toon and even many a human would know, and caused Anon’s blood to freeze at the sight of it as he whispered one harsh word.
“Dip…”
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So much info I have to get out today, you guys are probably sicker of it than I am considering it keeps slowing down the smuttier parts of this story, but try and bear with me cause this shit is important.
Now, those of you who remember the Cloverleaf incident know what Dip is, but for everyone else it’s a mixture of paint thinner, liquid paper, and god only knows what else that is capable of doing the ONE thing most people thought was impossible. Utterly, and completely kill a Toon.
After the death of Judge Doom, the U.S. government had most of Doom’s supply of the stuff rounded up and destroyed, and the recipe for it sealed away under a TON of security. Now the stuff isn’t GONE by any stretch of the imagination, Judge Doom himself showed exactly how dangerous Toons can be if they suddenly decided they wanted to get violent against people and a deterrent was seen as a necessity, but it is more tightly regulated than anything else in this country simply because someone could cause a lot of damage with it.
How tightly? Unlawful possession of Dip is listed as a Class A felony. Just one of these bullets could’ve put our sniper friend in front of a firing squad in less than a day. The ONLY people allowed to have and use this stuff are with state governments, and the only reason even THAT is allowed is because Toons can and do live outside of Toon Town. Otherwise, the usuage and production of Dip would be limited to ONLY the feds.
So what does this all mean? It means that whoever corpsey here may have once been, he was someone who either had some serious connections, or worked for someone who did. Either way, it did not mean anything good.
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Back at the Mayor’s office, the odd quartette found themselves standing at attention in front of Callie Brigg’s desk, none of them so much as breathing as her honor stared them down with a twitching eye.
“So, let me get this straight…” she began in an ice cold tone as she stood up from her desk. She started walking around the gathered group in a circle as she continued. “Not only do we not know who kidnapped The Animator, not only is our one suspect dead, but whoever it is that did this is so well connected and wealthy that they can have entirely new guns built that fire customized bullets loaded with Dip!?” She stopped in front of Anon and glared up at his face. “Is that about right!?”
Anon could feel the sweat dripping down his forehead as the Toon woman, who was easily a head shorter than him, inspired a kind of fear in him that few had ever managed. The Toons around him weren’t much better as they literally shook in their boots (or sneakers in Panda’s case) trying desperately to avoid Her Honor’s wrath. With a large gulp of air, Anon answered her.
“Y-yes ma’am.”
Callie just continued to glare at the taller detective for a moment longer before she just sighed and practically collapsed standing up. She looked as though she’d been carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders and she had just given up on the attempt as she walked back to the front of her desk, her face in her hands. “I’m sorry, all of you.” She muttered with no small amount of exhaustion in her voice. “Between The Animator, the press, and now a Dip gun of all things, my face just feels so…” She stopped as she realized just what she said and burst out laughing, as though she’d just heard the funniest joke ever conceived by man.
Eventually, though not before the others gathered gave their own nervous chuckles, she managed to calm down enough to continue. “Good lord, ‘my face is tired’. Sounds like the sort of thing a person who has no business writing would write.” Now calmed down, she turned back to her guests. “I’m sorry, I know it’s not any of your faults. Good lord this situation is just screwed beyond any recognition.” After another sigh and a moment to compose herself, she turned back towards the assembled group. “So, you really have nothing else?”
The group relaxed noticeably with their own long exhale before Feral spoke up. “I’m afraid not your honor. We tried to get anything we could identify the sniper with, but whoever he was, he knew how to cover himself. Burned off fingerprints, his teeth were ground down, wouldn’t be surprised to find out he regularly drained and replaced his blood with other people’s in all honesty.”
“Damn.” Callie muttered as she massaged her tan furred brow. “o other choice, we’re gonna have to get the L.A. P.D. involved. Meaning this is gonna get out. What a mess.” With one last sigh she gestured to the door. “You’re all dismissed. Thank you for your time everyone, I’ll make sure you’re all properly addressed for this.” The collective Toons and one human turned to leave, but Anon and Panda were stopped by Mayor Briggs. “One second Mr. Mus, I need to talk with you for a bit.”
Anon stared at the Mayor for a second before turning to Panda. “You gonna be alright on your own?”
Panda just nodded and gave a tired smile. “I’ll be fine boss. Gonna take more than that to keep me down. I’ll just head back to the office while you and the Mayor chat.”
Anon just nodded and gave Panda a pat on the shoulder, sending the intern on her way. As the door closed, he walked back to where he was before, standing a few feet away from Toon Town’s elected official. “So, what did you need to talk about your honor? Can’t say I can offer more insight on this than what I gave.”
The smile that formed on her Ladyship’s face was downright predatory as she strode closer to Anon with a VERY noticeable swing in her pink skirt clad hips. “Oh, I’d say there’s PLENTY you could offer me Mr. Mus. Tell me, did you know you have a bit of a reputation around Toon Town?”
Anon’s eyebrows rose as he looked at the Mayor’s stride towards him. “I do? I certainly hope it’s due to my work leaving a good impression.”
“Hmm.” Callie purred gently as she placed her soft hands on the front of Anon’s chest, almost reveling in his human form. “I haven’t heard any complaints, but that’s not what your reputation is about.”
I can’t lie, what professional pride I had felt that hard.
She then shoved Anon backward, sending him tumbling into a nearby couch with a yelp. With a feral growl, she jumped atop him, straddling his waist and looking him right in the eye with a lustful gaze. “No, you’ve got a rep as one of the better lays in town, and while that may not be why I hired you, I’m not above seeing how well you measure up to it!” She then mashed her lips against Anon’s in a forceful and passionate kiss, her surprisingly rough tongue plowing its way into Anon’s mouth.
Anon was left more than a little dumbstruck at the forwardness of one of Toon Town’s foremost elected officials. All he could find himself doing was letting his body run on autopilot and return the liplock, the catgirl Toon purring in appreciation as his hands began wandering her back and attempting to rub the tan fur under her pink business blazer. Soon though, the fact that he was currently in a heated makeout session with Callie “Mayor of Toon Town” Briggs forced its way to the front of his mind and gave him enough self control to grab the smaller woman by her padded shoulders and push her away.
“Okay,” he gasped out as he stared the cat girl in her glasses covered eyes, “not that I’m complaining here, but this strikes me as a bit sudden.”
The blonde Toon just glared at Anon for a moment and sighed in aggravation. “Look Anon, I’ve been dealing with the press up my ass all day, I’m about to deal with more of them cramming in tomorrow, and every day leading up to the next election is looking to be one long drag through the mud.” Her hands then moved to the sides of Anon’s head and grabbed it firmly, ensuring he couldn’t break eye contact. “I need stress relief of some sort right now, and you are going to provide that relief by fucking my brains out in this office.” Her glare turned harsher as she lowered her face closer to Anon’s. “You’ll note I said fuck. You aren’t making love to me, we aren’t engaging in any of that romantic bullshit, you are going to fuck this little pussy in your arms until she’s satisfied. Am I understood?”
Anon could only give a rapid nod, recognizing that irritating an already irate cat girl was not a wise decision. Seeing that her new fuckbuddy wasn’t putting up any further issues, Callie mashed their lips together again, the kitty Toon moaning as Anon gave as good as he got. That said though, Anon quickly found himself being dominated by the amorous woman as Callie pushed him more and more into the couch until he found himself laying on his back with the tan cat on top of him.
The couple’s hands began to wander their partner’s body, Anon’s trailing under Callie’s skirt and squeezing her surprisingly plush, panty covered ass while Miss. Brigg’s hands unbuttoned Anon’s shirt almost fast enough to tear a button or two and began rubbing at his chest with a fair amount of attention to his nipples, relishing in how he felt. With a growl, Anon grabbed hold of Callie’s hips and flipped the two of them over so he was on top, much to her joy if the excited squeals were any indication.
“You got any spare sets of clothing?” Anon said as he looked the Mayor in her glasses covered green eyes. Her left eyebrow rose at hearing that.
“Yeah, I do, but what do…”
SHRIP!
“Oh.”
Looking down, she could see that Anon had grabbed hold of both her suit jacket and her blouse and tore them both open, exposing her white lace bra that was straining against her surprisingly large breasts, between which her purple tie now lay. Before she could comment further, he reached down again and, with a bit of strain due to the elastic, tore that off and exposed her large, pink tipped and tan fur covered mounds to the world. Size wise they stood as smaller than Panda’s breasts (The smallest of the women Anon most regularly “partnered” with for what that was worth considering) but were a fair bit perkier, outright ignoring the gravity that should be flattening them out a bit.
Without further ado, he leaned forward, capturing her right nipple in his mouth, sucking and nipping at the rapidly hardening nub while Callie groaned loudly.
I know, normally I like to play a bit when it comes to breasts, but past experience with anthro animal girls (I think you kids today call em furries?) has taught me that my mouth having as little to do with their fur generally saves from having to clear out a hairball later.
While his mouth was occupied, Anon’s hands snaked down to Callie’s thighs where they grabbed hold of her skirt before pulling the pink cloth upwards and exposing her long legs completely alongside a pair of panties that matched her now ex-bra. With her lower limbs now free to move more, Anon moved his hips till his still pants clad crotch was in front of Callie’s panty clad one and began grinding against her, both parties finding themselves becoming damper with arousal as Anon’s member began leaking pre-cum.
With a snarl, Callie’s hands darted down and tore into the front of Anon’s pants with her surprisingly sharp claws, freeing his member and allowing the wrist thick length of hardening flesh to slap against her as it fell on her, the head stopping just under her sill skirt covered navel.
“Oooh yes!” She moaned as her soft, fur covered hands rubbed his dick, causing it to throb in pleasure from a fairly new feeling. “Now THAT’S a pussy pleaser! Don’t hold back now!”
With a small grunt from his still occupied mouth, Anon pulled back his hips and positioned the tip of his erection at her entrance, the cat woman quickly moving her panties aside to allow him a clear go at her. With one mighty thrust that caused the couch to rock, Anon buried himself into the warm and inviting depths of Callie’s pussy, a more than noticeable bulge forming on her stomach as a muffled clap was heard from their hips meeting one another.
“OOOH FUUUCK!” Callie screamed as her arms and legs instinctively wrapped around Anon, her claws digging into his trench coat. “THAT’S IT BIG BOY! POUND YOUR MAYOR INTO THE FLOOR!”
Anon said nothing beyond growling in confirmation as his hips began thrusting wildly, outright slamming into Callie’s depths with enough force to outright move the couch closer to the wall as he fucked her with what would be bruising force for a human woman. But the Cat girl under the detective was clearly loving every second of it all, her eyes rolling to the back of her head as her tongue flopped out and bounced with her free tit.
“FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!” She screeched with every impact, her various grips on Anon tightening on every scream. Anon, not wanting to risk someone hearing what was happening, stopped suckling on Callie’s right nipple and latched his lips to her’s again, muffling her screaming as much as he could. This last bit of stimulation was all Callie needed.
“OH PHUCK! YEPH! YEEEEEPH!”
as her grip on Anon tightened to the point he could almost feel his bones crack as her snatch quivered and tightened around Anon, the sensation bringing him past the edge right along with her and causing him to fire rope after rope of hot cum into her welcoming depths, flooding her and spilling out in short order.
The two collapsed onto the couch, each gasping for breath as the coital fogs cleared from their heads. As Anon slowly remembered just where he was, a loud purring lady from his current partner forced a smirk on his face.
“So…” he panted out, “feeling better your honor?”
Callie’s purring stammered a bit as she chuckled at that question. “Much. Thank you Mr. Mus. Now then,” With that, she promptly shoved Anon to the side and onto the ground as easily as a stack of papers, the detective letting out a grunt as he hit the ground. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to get myself presentable for the rest of my day.” She then stood up from the couch, their combined fluids trailing down the tan fur on her thighs, and strode over to a nearby closet, opening it up to reveal a number of replicas of her now ruined suit.
Anon looked down at the shredded front of his shirt and pants and let out a laugh. “So, uh…got anything in my size? I know Toon Town is kinda lax with decency laws, but I’m pretty certain I’m breaking more than a few right now.”
Callie’s smile turned playful as she pulled out a large barrel and a scaled up version of her suit. “Unless you like pink, I’m afraid all I’ve got is the Toon Town classic Mr. Detective.”
---------------------------------------------
As I left City Hall through an open window with her Honor’s number and wearing my brand new barrel, I found myself at something of a loss. The Animator missing, most likely kidnapped, mysterious and unidentifiable assassins, weapons designed to kill Toons, and not a single suspect I could even try to point at. I know I said I worked with less, but I had been expecting to find SOMETHING to clue me in on things here! I started with questions, and left with more! The closest thing we had to an actual clue is that whoever was responsible for this was extremely well connected if they had acess to Dip, and that didn’t really help much beyond meaning we needed to talk to some very high ranking politicians!
I needed a clue, I needed a drink, and I REALLY needed a change of pants. Thankfully, there was a place where I could get the last two.
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The door to Anon’s seemingly empty office swung open as the barrel wearing form of Anon strode in, the wooden container hitting the ground as Anon went. He made a beeline to a dresser by his filing cabinets where he pulled out a new set of shirt and pants and quickly changed into them, tossing his more ruined clothes into a nearby trash bin that held other bits of clothing in various forms of disrepair.
With an annoyed sigh, the detective slumped into his chair behind his desk and pulled open both of the lowest drawers before pulling out a seemingly random assortment of glasses, bottles, and one very large mug and pouring varying amounts of the liquids in said bottles into said mug. His work complete, he stared at the large glass with a tired smile on his face.
Inside the mug were a swirling cacophony of colors, various types of ales, liquors, rum, whiskey, and even a smidgen of tequila trying vainly to mix with one another only to be pushed aside by one another. This horrific nightmare of any alcoholic with any kind of experience was what Anon referred to as The Cleanser. The taste was horrific, but if you despised the concept of sobriety it would ensure a long separation period for you from it. Just as Anon had lifted the abomination and brought it to his lips the phone on his desk began to ring. With an annoyed groan, he placed the mug back on his desk and answered the newfound source of irritation.
“Anon E Mus Detective services,” he spoke with every ounce of professionalism he could muster, “Our operation hours are 7 A.M. to 9 P.M., Monday through Friday. Unless this is an emergency, please call back…”
“Anon?” Cheetara’s voice spoke through the receiver, causing Anon to straighten up a bit. “It’s Lieutenant Cheetara. Feral and I wanted to talk with you about what happened today, are you free to come to our place?””
With every ounce of his willpower, Anon was able to repress an annoyed sigh as he pushed away his mug and pulled out a pen and pad. “Yeah, I’ve got nothing better going on. When do you want me there?”
“Now would be good.” The spotted blonde responded happily. “But, seeing how teleportation isn’t really much of an option for you humans, we’d be willing to settle for as soon as possible. Gingerbread Lane, Apartment 7, Room 96, and make sure you leave your intern please. See you soon Detective.” Those last few words were, quite literally, purred out as Anon heard the click of her phone.
With a sigh, Anon stood up, poured his drink out the window (The Cleanser doesn’t tend to react too well to open air exposure for too long) and opted to forgo his hat and coat and just strode off to his door to leave the apartment. As he reached the door however, a thought went through his head that caused him to stop in his tracks.
“Where the hell IS Panda? And Jess for that matter?”
For the first time since he’d returned to his apartment, Anon actually took a moment to pay attention to his surroundings. Indeed, it looked as though he were the only person left in the office/apartment. The sudden realization that his shower was going drug his attention to his bathroom. After checking the door and finding it locked, he placed his ear to the door to try and get a better listen as to what was going on.
“Oooh Mamá! I thought your tits were great, but your ass! It’s so soft I could use it as a pillow!”
“Mmm…are you sure that’s all you want to do with it though? I could think of other things you could do, particularly with that naughty little thing in your mouth.”
“I like where your head’s at Mamá”
What followed was a cacophony of slurping and moaning, causing Anon to just shake his head and smile before leaving the two ladies to their fun.
-----------------------------------------------
A few minutes later, Anon found himself in front of Apartment building 7. As far as Anon was concerned, it was a big step up from the Animator’s place just for the simple fact that the building wasn’t as alive as the other, being just a normal apartment complex like you’d see in any other city in America if it wasn’t drawn. It stood tall, wide, and was made of red Technicolor bricks. Inside was very much the same as you’d find in any apartment complex in most any city. A wall of mailboxes, a front desk manned by a Toon who looked like he’d rather be anywhere else, and an elevator.
After a quick discussion with the guy at the desk to figure out where he needed to go, and a quicker trip in an elevator that thankfully didn’t flatten him from G force, Anon found himself in a pretty nondescript hallway lined with doors. As he got closer to his destination however, Anon heard a series of noises that caused him to stiffen in alarm. It was a series of screams followed by thuds, as though someone were striking something solid with a lot of force, a telltale sound indicating that a struggle of some sort was going down. Concern on his face, he dashed toward the source of the noise, which by some great coincidence was room 96, and lifted his leg to try and kick down the door only to stop as his foot was almost inches away from striking the barrier in his way. With an annoyed groan, he dropped his leg and gently massaged his brow.
“Ok Anon, HOW many times have you fallen for this gag again?” Much calmer now, he rose a hand and knocked on the door firmly enough that hopefully he could be heard from inside the room. An annoyed scream made it quite apparent he had, and after a series of locks on the other side came undone, the door opened wide revealing the out of breath form of Felina Feral, now clad in a form fitting tube top and a pair of equally tight shorts glaring at him.
The Private Eye couldn’t help but take in the sight of the tan furred woman before him. While her police uniform was flattering in its own right, seeing her in this state of dress revealed it had honestly not been doing her any favors. The curves in her hips, while not quite up to Jessica’s standards, were still quite noticeable, the ass attached to them stood firm and proud, practically begging someone to slap it (and probably injure the slapper’s hands in the process) her breasts stood out almost as firmly, reminding Anon of Panda’s own though they looked smaller on Feral’s larger frame.
And for those curious, the panty-like shorts showed she did indeed have a long tail with long hair.
What stood out most about her though was that this woman was VERY well built. Her long legs and her strong arms both carried a noticeable amount of muscle that managed to make it apparent she could probably bench Anon even if she wasn’t a Toon, while at the same time not impacting her femininity to the point it would be easy to mistake her for a man like far too many artists do these days. For goodness sake, she somehow managed a six pack that was visible through her fur!
The white striped brunette before him looked at Anon with a fierce glare that turned into a disgusted scowl as her eyes drooped lower. “For fuck’s sake, how long have you lived around here and you still can’t control yourself?”
“Huh” Anon muttered in confusion before looking down at himself and saw that he had started pitching a tent in his pants. With an embarrassed yelp, he leaned forward in a desperate attempt to hide his arousal. “Sorry about that! I just…uh…”
Felina just rolled her eyes as Anon stammered for an excuse. “Whatever you say you damned fetishist. Just hurry up and come in already before I have to arrest you for public indecency.” She then turned on a heel with Anon waddling in after her, the door closing behind him as he went.
The inside of the apartment was actually rather nice. Spacious with a comfortable looking couch with a few chairs, big screen TV, a book shelf loaded with everything from romance novels, self defense manuals, and even a fair amount of philosophy mixed in. The sight of a very well worn punching bag in particular stood out to Anon, reinforcing the choice to not kick in the door.
Feral marched towards the fridge in the nearby kitchen nook, opening the fridge to the sound of clattering bottles. “Go ahead and sit down. Cheetara’s in the shower right now, so you might as well make yourself comfortable.” As Anon followed the cat woman’s advice and sat on the far end of the couch, she came marching up to him holding a pair of beer bottles, handing one off to the detective. “Here, never let it be said I’m a bad hostess.” She then moved to a chair opposite of the couch and chugged down a large gulp from her own bottle. With a shrug, Anon leaned back with his own swig only for his eyes to bulge out, his years of drinking and drinking etiquette the only things keeping him from spitting out a drink for the second time today. With no small amount of hesitation, he swallowed his drink and looked at the label on the bottle.
Loonaroon Ale
This is gonna sound rich coming from the guy who created The Cleanser, but Toon alcohol freaking sucks. I don’t know WHAT they do to make this stuff palpable to Toons without getting reactions like Roger has, but it gives it an aftertaste that tastes EXACTLY like ink.
Seeing a coaster on a nearby table, Anon placed the bottle down and turned his attention to his Cat Woman host. “So, what exactly did you and Cheetara want to talk to me about? I’ve been running some ideas through my head, but I’m hitting a brick wall, so some other viewpoints would be nice.”
Ferals eyes widened a bit as she looked at Anon as though the detective had grown a second head before palming her forehead as though she were trying to keep a migraine at bay. “Fucking hell, how does a dumbass like you manage to get work as a detective? She wants to fuck you jackass, not talk about what happened today!”
I fully admit it was obvious that’s what she wanted, but in my defense I KINDA had a lot on my mind.
Anon, his professional pride slighted, glared harshly at Felina. “Okay, lets table the fact that a hot blonde catgirl wants in my pants for now, what the ever loving FUCK is your problem with me lady!? You’ve been giving me almost nothing but shit since we met! I know I didn’t give the best of first impressions, but I’d think we’d be past it by now!”
Felina just glared harshly at Anon before downing the rest of her ale in one large gulp. Her beer finished, she stood up from her seat and moved to right in front of Anon before leaning forward and looking the human right in the eye.
“What’s my problem? I’ll tell you what my damned problem is! I was drawn for the final season of a show that died way too soon because the writers thought the show needed more women! Not because they thought I would be a cool character, not because they thought I’d bring something the show lacked, but because they wanted to fill in a damned check box! Can you even IMAGINE what being told you were made just to diversify a show does to someone!? Especially when the only people who remember me and my contributions are those degenerate furries!? Ever since I’ve been doing everything I could to claw and scrape myself up, just to prove I was actually worth something more than just someone to shut up parental groups!” She then rose up and looked off in a bit of a daze, Anon (in a stunning display of self control on his end) leaned up to try and keep her face in focus. “The endless hours I’ve put in, cracking more cases than anyone at the precinct short of Race Bannon himself, climbing up the ranks.” Her scowl then returned as she grabbed Anon by the scruff of his shirt and hauled him up to eye level again. “Only to be told, on the biggest case I’m probably ever going to have, that me and my partner are going to have to work with a detective giving me advice on how to do my damned job!”
Feral then released Anon, the detective staying on his feet as she continued on, “But then I think, hey! This guy’s been around awhile! He’s got a rep as a solid enough snoop! Maybe he’ll be helpful! Then, we go into your office, and what do we find!? We see your bimbo of an intern getting railed by your whore of a secretary, and then you walking out with some red haired slu-“
(WHAP!)
Felina’s head jerked to the side from the sudden and harsh impact of Anon’s right palm slapping against her face. Slowly, she turned back and looked at the now quite irate Anon.
I suppose this would be the point where I’d go into a spiel about how “I don’t hit ladies, but this dame was no lady”, or how my father raised me better than that, but neither one is the case here. Granted dear old pops was never big on domestic abuse, the man had a chivalric streak that would make Lancelot proud in all honesty, but he also knew that women could be just as brutal and vicious as men. Combine that with my experiences in both of my lines of work (You haven’t lived till you’ve had to restrain a lady strung out on PCP who decided the lizard people need to be stopped at all costs), and I can safely say that anyone who holds too strictly to that “don’t hit women ever” mentality is an idiot. The main thing though is that men are NEVER allowed to throw the first hit.
And kids? When someone calls your girlfriend a slut, that counts as a hit.
As Feral gently cradled her cheek, Anon started up with his own rant, his voice barely holding back the full extent of his anger.
“Look, you wanna call me names you go right ahead. Honestly, I’m used to it. You wanna call Panda and Jessica names, that’s their issue to sort through and Jess would probably agree with you on that assessment. But Cindi is not, in any sense of the word a slut, and I will NOT tolerate you dragging her name through the mud like that!”
Felina and Anon just stared each other down for a few more moments, the tension rising in the room as both of their respective anger towards the other finally hit their boiling point. With a…well…feral snarl, Felina swung a quick right hook, nailing Anon in the jaw and nearly sending him to the ground with a spin. She followed up the opening with a tackle, sending them both tumbling into the couch, causing it to flip and sending them both to the ground.
What followed was a cavalcade of violence and chaos, the Human and Toon rolling around the ground, knocking around everything they tumbled into and mindlessly pummeling each other with fist, foot, nail, and claw. As the fight went on, a cloud of dust managed to be kicked up, obscuring the two and the violence from any onlookers. Every now and then however, the intensity of the fighting would lessen and the cloud would disperse, showing what had been happening to cause the slow down before starting back up again.
The two attempting to strangle one another.
Anon lifting Felina in the air before dropping her down in a pile driver.
Felina grabbing Anon in a leg lock, squeezing his neck between her thighs.
Both Cop and Dick, shoulder to shoulder and happily kicking in a sloppy recreation of the can-can dance.
When the dust cleared for the final time, Anon had somehow managed to pin the Cat Girl under him with his hands grabbing hold of her wrists with both parties breathing heavily from their tussle. Their clothing was in poor shape with Anon’s shirt looking absolutely shredded by claws, while Felina’s sports bra was torn to the point of near indecency.
As the two regained their breath, they each noticed something quite interesting about the other. Anon couldn’t help but see just how much Felina’s sports bra was restraining her breasts, the mounds of fur covered flesh were straining against their confines and practically pouring out of the tears, indicating she was in fact a fair bit more stacked than she’d been letting on. Feral meanwhile, had felt a rather noticeable lump in Anon’s pants that had steadily been growing larger and larger as the two had rubbed each other’s bodies. They glared at each other one more time before Felina spoke in a determined voice.
“We know where this is going, right?”
“Yep.” Anon spoke plainly.
“Any second thoughts?”
“Nope.”
“Good.” The pair’s arms then wrapped around one another to pull the other closer as their lips met in a passionate kiss. Unlike most Lip locks Anon had been in though, there was no real affection to be found here. Rather, it was more a display of dominance as the couple pushed against each other, their tongues wrestled against one another, each trying to force its way past the other.
With a muffled snarl, Felina grabbed Anon by his shoulders and flipped them around so that she was on top of him. She then lifted off the detective below her and flipped herself around before slamming herself down on his face, her cloth covered snatch hitting him in the mouth as she fell. Moving as quickly as she could, she then slid her hands down his body till they reached the buckle of his belt, which she quickly undid along with his pants, before pulling them down and allowing his hardened dick to spring free in the air again.
“Oh fuck yeah.” She hissed as she started stroking the shaft with one hand. “Just as big as I thought it was. Let’s see how good you taste big boy.” She then leaned forward, capturing the head of his member in her mouth before gently sucking on the sensitive tip, her tongue rolling around it like a sucker as she went.
Not to say Anon wasn’t keeping himself occupied. While Feral was busying herself with his pants, he’d been attempting to pull down her form fitting shorts, eventually succeeding in yanking the thing off her and flinging the latex cloth into a corner, revealing her pink, fur covered pussy, moisture from her arousal just starting to form around it. With a lick of his lips, Anon leaned forward and began gently licking around her pussy lips, causing Felina to let out a muffled moan that caused some more than pleasant vibrations for Anon’s member.
Felina, determined to not be shown up by Anon, slowly began sliding her head down, swallowing more and more of the dick in her mouth as she went. All the while sucking and slurping noises came from her as her tongue licked and every inch of skin it could reach while she sucked as hard as she could till finally reaching the base of his dick. Once she’d hit the bottom, she let out a low purr, causing anon to shudder violently under the now smirking catgirl.
In retaliation, Anon pushed his head up more and shoved his own tongue as deep into Felina’s velvet depths as he could, the eager organ rubbing at every spot it could hit and causing her arousal to slowly leak more and more out of her and into Anon’s more than thankful mouth. As he was doing this, his right hand slowly moved to the top of her snatch where his fingers found her clit. With no hesitation he began rubbing at the sensitive nub, causing the cat girl above him to start shaking herself and she moaned happily around his cock.
Before Anon could get too proud of himself however, the Toon above him rose her hips up and slammed them down on his face, smothering the human with her now dripping snatch. With a chuckle, Feral pulled herself off of Anon’s dick.
“Better hurry up and get me off Mr. Dick. You wouldn’t be the first person who’s passed out in between my thighs.” She then leaned forward and pulled Anon’s cock down till its underside was exposed, allowing her to start licking down it in long and smooth strokes.
Anon, already feeling it harder to breathe through the muff on him, quickly started lashing out more quickly with his tongue. The fleshy organ stroked every inch of her now dripping folds it could reach, desperately trying to find her clit and causing Felina to moan out in bliss.
“Oooh, nice to see your reputation for being a manwhore was well earned.” The Cat Woman moaned as she ground her hips against Anon’s face, her tail twitching excitedly. “You’re gonna have to do better than that though if you want me to EEEP!” Her eyes widened as she bit her lower lip from a sudden jolt running down her spine.
The cause could be seen under her as Anon, his neck bending at a rather uncomfortable angle, now had his lips latched around Feral’s clit and was nursing on the nub rapidly, each suck causing the Toon to shudder in bliss. Seeing that he was getting better results, Anon started putting in more effort into his ministrations. He started altering his sucking with rapid licking, his tongue swirling around the sensitive bundle of nerves like a bit of candy, sending the Toon on his face into spasms. His hands had kept themselves occupied with her ass, grabbing hold of the very firm yet softly furred flesh and holding her as still as he could force her to.
His efforts were well rewarded as the muscular woman shot up, her eyes wide as she screamed. “OH HOLY SHIT! ANON KEEP IT…KEEP IT…OH FUUUUUCK!” Much to Anon’s chagrin (and more than a little panic) her thighs clamped around Anon’s head as her juices flooded out, practically drowning the now flailing detective in her cum. Thankfully, the flood ended relatively quickly and (with wobbling legs) Felina stood up, leaving the dazed human with a now quite sticky face on the floor.
“Whoo,” she panted out as she straightened out her slightly frazzled black hair, “Got to say Detective, if you were half as good with your mouth as you were at your job we’d probably already have The Animator back.” She then began striding over to the bathroom door. “I’ll just let Cheetara know she shouOOF!” Anything else she had to say was cut off as she found herself pushed up against the door as Anon’s body pressed against her, his hands pinning her own to the bathroom door as his hot breath tickled the cat ears atop her head. “Hey! What’s the big…” Her eyes then widened as she felt something long, hard, and throbbing almost angrily slide between her ass cheeks. “Eep…” Feral squeaked in a mild panic as she realized Anon hadn’t gotten off yet. “So, what are the chances you’ll be willing to wait for me to get Cheetara out here?”
Anon’s answer came in the form of pulling back his hips a bit before pressing the tip of his now ranging erection against her rosebud.
“Heh heh,” Felina chuckled with a nervous grin. “I’m in danger…”
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Inside the bathroom, specifically inside a glass walled shower, Cheetara had found herself a bit lost in the feeling of water trailing down her body. Much like Felina, her body was quite toned with a fair bit of musculature, but unlike her more aggressive partner Cheetara’s were more lean, more akin to a gymnast or acrobat, though unlike most in those professions her figure was nothing short of full. Her breasts matched Cindi’s in size and fullness, standing firm and proud on her chest without the slightest bit of sag to drag them down and were topped with tiny pink nipples, her hips curved nicely, giving her an unmistakable hourglass figure, and her legs stood long, giving her height enough to match Jessica quite easily (Though her fur ensured they’d never be any definition of the word smooth).
Even her cat like features didn’t detract from anything. While clearly more human looking that Felina or Callie, she still had a soft layer of orange fur covering most of her body with the heaviest concentration being on her sides and limbs and with bare skin going down her face and the center of her body. All in all, she struck a fine middle ground between an attractive Human Toon, and an Exotic Anthro Toon.
Now, some might find it odd that a cat girl would enjoy a shower so much, what with Cats aversion to water and Toons never being one to shy away from living up to expectations for a joke, but Cheetara always enjoyed a good shower. The feeling of hot water trailing down her skin and fur was always so soothing to her, the hot water mixed with the white noise it caused always made it easier to clear her head a bit, and after the day she and her partner had she really wanted her mind cleared.
The kidnapping of The Animator had, quite rightfully, left her in a bit of a state. Granted, no one would lay any blame on her or Felina for that, the man never wanted bodyguards and found the idea of the police taking time away from protecting the rest of the city just to keep him safe distasteful, but as a police officer who took a fair amount of pride in her work she still couldn’t help but bear some of the responsibility. Thankfully, she had Felina to support her, help her get past the sense of guilt and focus on trying to find The Animator, but then another thought ended up filling her thoughts and kept her from focusing on that.
She hadn’t been laid in way too long.
Granted that wasn’t normally an issue for her, she wasn’t a pornographic Toon after all, but that pseudo-orgy she and Feral had witnessed that morning really hammered in just how long it had been for her. She hadn’t had a game of patty cake or even just a good solid fuck since the Thundercats reboot ended and she, Pumyra and Lion-O decided to send it off with a good ‘bang’ together. Poor Lion-o had developed a bit of a complex from how much the show dumped on his character he’d thought he was being set up for a prank when the two cat girls gave him the offer!
So there she was, horny, reminded of just how LONG it had been since she’d itched that scratch, and probably would be going more than a little nuts if she hadn’t noticed that handsome detective was carrying a VERY nice looking scratcher. One that ensured that, when she was off the clock because she DOES have a solid sense of priorities thank you very much, she’d be giving the Dick a call.
“Ohh, I can’t wait!” She thought to herself as she shuddered in anticipation, her brests quivering from the motion. “I’ve been needing this for so…”
(THUMP!)
“AAAAAAGH! FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!” Feral’s voice shrieked out over the sound of the running water and dragging Cheetara out of her thoughts.
“What the heck is going on out there?” She muttered with wide eyes.
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Back outside the cause of the ruckus could be seen with Anon and Felina, with Anon’s member buried hilt deep in Felina’s ass, his hips mashed against her firm muscled ass cheeks. The cat girl’s face was twisted in discomfort and a bit of pain as her claws had clearly drawn deep scratches into the door she was pinned on.
“Gah, FUCK!” She grunted out, “You are so lucky I’m a damned Toon asshole! If you tried that on a Human woman you would’ve killed her!”
Anon just chuckled as he leaned his head in closer to one of Felina’s pointed ears atop her head. “Well what I can I say?” he spoke playfully as he ground his hips against Feral’s ass, causing the catgirl to shudder slightly. “You’ve been such a pain in my ass all this time, I figured I’d pay you back a bit.” He then gave her right cheek a firm slap, causing Felina to hiss sharply through grit teeth. “With interest.”
Felina actually chuckled a bit at that. “Well hurry on up before I LOSE interest dickhead.”
With the okay given, Anon slowly began pulling his hips back, his dick moving out of the tight grips of the cat girl’s ass inch by inch as Felina moaned happily. When the tip was all that was left in her however, he stopped for a moment before slamming forward again, knocking the wind out of Feral as his body pressed her against the door. He repeated the motion over and over, each rotation slowly gaining more speed till Anon was practically slamming Felina into the door over and over.
“OHHH FUCK! THAT’S IT YOU BIG DICKED BASTARD! GIVE IT TO ME!”
Not that the good Officer Feral minded however, moaning and screaming in bliss as Anon pummeled her ass relentlessly, neither of the two noticing that the door was starting to strain against its hinges until it finally snapped off, sending the two tumbling to the ground and leaving Felina on her hands and knees and Anon (still buried deep in cat girl booty) on his knees and bent over her back.
“Holy shit!” The Toon woman exclaimed in shock. “Not every day someone fucks my screws loOSE!” Before Felina could finish her pun Anon resumed his rapid thrusting, his hips slapping against her ass even faster with the newfound leverage. Her breasts, bouncing wildly from the ferocity and speed quickly tore apart what was left for her bra, leaving the mounds to flail freely on her chest.
“FFFFuuuUuK! No wonDER you’ve got the rep youuuUUUU do! C’mon big booOY! Don’t hold back, I CAAAN take it!”
Taking the black haired and tan furred woman’s claims seriously, one of Anon arms reached up and buried itself in her shoulder length ebony locks before gabbing the strands and pulling back, yanking her head backwards and causing Felina to squeal in bliss.
“OH HELL YEAH!” she screamed as her eyes rolled backward and her tongue began to dangle as another orgasm hit her, her pussy lips quivering as the hot sticky liquid poured out.
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Inside the shower, Cheetara could only stare in wide eyed shock as the blurred image of the copulating pair smashed into the bathroom, their moaning and Feral’s screaming overpowering the sound of the shower running and giving the spotted blonde quite the earful as Anon railed her roommate. The busty cat girl’s eyes widened further as she got a somewhat better look at Anon’s dick than she did back in his office, the sight of which (even through the distorted view of the glass) caused her body to shiver slightly in anticipation.
“Oh yeah…”Cheetara panted out as one of her hands began fondling one of her breasts while it’s opposite limb dropped down to her pelvis and inserted it’s middle finger into her now extra dripping snatch, the sight and sounds before her causing her itch to re assert itself as she felt her body heat up more than the shower alone ever could’ve. The spotted blonde’s fingering of herself quickened it’s pace as she saw Anon’s hands move from her roomate’s hips to her thighs before hauling her up, bouncing her on his hips for a bit before mashing the tanned kitty against the glass of the shower, which had the side effect of making Felina more visible through the glass.
Feral was nothing short of a mess, her hair askew, her tongue flopping about, her pussy all but flooding out and staining the glass, all the while her tits were mashed against the shower door as she squealed and moaned while Anon grunted with every thrust. She was, to put it bluntly, the definition of fucked silly.
“FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!” The black and white haired Toon screamed with every slap of Anon’s hips against her ass. “CUM FOR ME! CUM ALREADY YOU BIG DICKED ASSHOLE! I WANNA FEEL YOU CUM!”
With one final growl, Anon gave one last thrust before his dick practically exploded, firing out cum in one long and nearly painful stream, filling up the Toon woman’s ass to near bursting as it flooded out of her. Felina’s pussy spasmed from the sensation as her eyes rolled to the back of her head, her voice all but roaring as another orgasm hit her harder than the previous ones. As Anon’s orgasm subsided, he found himself tumbling backwards, Felina still impaled on his shaft, causing the two to tumble to the floor, Anon flat on his back and Feral laying atop him, both human and Toon breathing deeply as they tried to catch their respective breaths.
“Holy shit…” Felina gasped out, her chest heaving with every breath she took. “That was intense!”
“No kidding.” Anon panted out as he tried to get his legs working again. “Been a good while since I went through a good hate fuck.”
Before either one could get too comfortable, the shower door slid open, revealing Cheetara in all her glory, glaring at the now wide eyed duo. Felina gave a sheepish smile as she waved at her somewhat irritated looking partner.
“H-hey Cheetara. Look, I warmed him up for ya!”
The spotted blonde just glared at her roommate for a moment longer before her face broke out into a warm smile. “That you did. Glad to see it actually, I’m pretty certain you needed a good fuck as much as I did. Am I right?” Seeing Felina nod contentedly, Cheetara then shifted her attention on Anon while making sure to bounce her damp melons in her hands. “So, you good for another round or should we reschedule this? Cause to be quite honest, I’m half tempted to not let you leave either way.”
Felina’s head shot up with a yelp as she felt Anon’s dick start to harden again in the depths of her ass. With all the strength he could muster, the detective lifted the well built cop off of him, his cum leaking out of her ass as his shaft left her. Cheetara’s smile widened at seeing his now half hard member bobbing in the air.
“I think I could manage another round.” Anon spoke smugly with a matching grin.
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Cheetara’s bedroom wasn’t too different from most Toon’s rooms. The primary decoration being photos and memorabilia from her previous shows such as posters, screen shots, photos taken on the set, even a few of the toys here and there with the thing standing out most being a pair of stands for her bo staff from each version of her show.
The main attraction today however was the nude human laying upon her bed with the aforementioned spotted blonde laying upon him in a passion and tongue filled kiss, both partners moaning into each other’s mouths as their hands explored the other’s body. Anon’s made sure to fully grasp and grope at her soft ass and tits while Cheetara’s almost relished at the new sensation of touching a human body. Eventually the two broke off, Anon breathing a bit harder while Cheetara’s hands continued to explore his body, her eyes wide in excited wonder.
“Oh wow!” She exclaimed happily as her hands roamed over Anon’s chest, absolutely relishing in the firm muscles she felt. “I always knew there were differences between Toon and Human men, but I wasn’t expecting you to feel so…solid!”
Anon chuckled before grinding his hips against Cheetara’s, causing the catgirl to shudder happily. “Well if you think my chest is solid, you should try out the rest of me.”
Cheetara let out an excited purr as she leaned back down and pressed her lips against Anon’s again, this time much more gently and quickly in light pecks, the smacking of their kisses the only sound in the room. After a minute or two, the spotted blonde began trailing downwards down Anon’s neck and right shoulder, making sure to suck on his skin hard enough to leave a hickey as she went. As she reached his chest, she took up adding long licks, trailing her rough tongue across Anon’s skin as she lapped at the sweat forming on him before going further down. As she neared his pelvis though, she opted to stop before situating herself so that his now rock hard dick was resting quite comfortable between her large breasts.
She grabbed the sides of her furless melons and pressed them together, engulfing most of his shaft in soft, warm tit flesh aside from the head which managed to poke out from the top. With a warm smile, Cheetara looked up towards Anon.
“So, how much do you want to cum right now?”
Anon, feeling his balls beginning to practically boil, could only bring himself to whimper and try to thrust his hips a bit, only for Cheetara to press down on him and keep him from moving.
Again, Toons. As strong as they need or want to be no matter how muscled they are. I can guarantee, if Felina wasn’t into what we were doing she could’ve kicked my ass to stop it VERY easily.
The spotted blonde let of a soft tsk at Anon’s efforts. “Now now Anon, if you want to cum, you have to promise me something in return.” Her smile then turned sultry as she looked down at Anon’s throbbing member. “I want a nice, warm, BIG serving of milk. Can you do that? Can you give this pretty titty kitty some milk so she doesn’t go hungry?” The bed almost shook from Anon nodding his head, causing Cheetara to chuckle a bit. “Good boy. Let’s help you pour out some thick cream then, shall we?”
With what Anon would call an agonizing slowness, Cheetara began lifting and lowering her tits, gently massaging the shaft in her warm bosom with her hot breath tickling the head every time she lowered. Anon couldn’t help but groan from the friction which soon turned to outright moaning as she started to pick up speed. Cheetara’s breasts quivered with every impact as a soft slap from the soft mounds hit Anon’s thighs.
“Oh yes,” she moaned in arousal, “I can practically SMELL all that tasty milk brewing up in there! C’mon! Give it to me!” Her motions became more frantic, her breasts moving more wildly as they no longer matched each other’s motions while the cat girl squeezed her tits in her hands. With one final groan, Anon’s hips jerked upwards just as she’d made a downward motion, causing the head of his dick to enter Cheetara’s mouth where it expanded slightly before firing a burst of cum directly into her waiting mouth. Her eyes rolled backward in sheer bliss from the flavor as she gulped down mouthful after mouthful of hot cum. As soon as he tapered off she gave the fleshy tip one last strong suck to make sure she’d gotten the last of her milk before pulling off the head with a loud pop and a lick of her lips.
“Mmm…”she moaned, “oh that hit the spot Anon. I don’t have nearly enough dairy in my diet.” She then began gently rubbing Anon’s dick with her breasts again, ensuring he didn’t get a chance to soften up. “But I think my…other lips could use a nice drink now, don’t you think?”
Anon couldn’t help but whimper once more as he felt the effects of his rather busy day starting to take it’s toll on him. Oh sure, he had more stamina than most, but no human is going to match a Toon in bedroom marathons. Still, never let it be said he ever left a lady wanting.
After all, if he’s not gonna have a rep as a detective then he might as well have THIS much at least damnit!
“Yeah…”Anon rasped out, “I think so.” With all the strength he could manage, Anon drew himself up to try and lead Cheetara onto the bed only for the aforementioned blonde to instead pounce the human, pinning his shoulders to the mattress and causing the two to bounce from the impact. Before Anon could voice any objections, Cheetara placed a well manicured finger to his lips with a low shushing.
“Oh Anon, you’re so used to being the one in charge, aren’t you? So used to having all the little Toon sluts letting you have your way with them because of this big, strong dick, aren’t you?”
Well in my defense, that DOES seem to be the pattern with my life.
Cheetara continued on, but not before lowering her free hand to Anon’s hard member and lightly tracing her razor sharp nails around the sensitive skin. “But I’m not gonna let you do that Anon. See, I’m a police officer.” She then positioned her hips so that her pussy lips were grazing the head of Anon’s member, giving the sensitive bit of flesh an odd kiss. “And police officers take charge of things.” With no further warning she then slammed her hips down on his, cramming his dick into her dripping snatch and drawing loud moans from the duo.
Much to Anon’s surprise though, Cheetara didn’t take any time to get used to the size of his girth in her. Instead she simply rose her hips again before slamming them down, over and over as the clapping of their hips echoed in the room alongside a light slapping noise as the spotted blonde’s breasts slapped against one another as they flailed wildly from the motions. As she continued, the motions of her hips began to quicken with every rotation, faster and faster, slamming into Anon’s hips with near bruising force. Each impact causing the bed to shake and rock.
“God damnit!” Anon hissed through grit teeth as he desperately tried to free his arms. “Slow down will ya!?”
Unfortunately, Anon’s demands met a fog as Cheetara’s face showed she was quite lost in her lust. Her eyes had rolled to the back of her head while her tongue had started flopping out as she panted from both the pleasure and the effort she was exerting.
“OH FUCK YES! OH LET ME HAVE IT! THIS DICK IS ALL MINE! NO ONE ELSE’S! MINE! MINE!”
Then, much to Anon’s shock and horror, bright yellow lines started appearing around Cheetara’s body as her humping began reaching speeds Anon could never hope to reach. The lower half of her body turned into a blur as the slapping noise turned into something more akin to applause. The pain from the impacts as well as the friction rubbing around his shaft mixed with the odd bit of pleasure left Anon in a rather similar state to Cheetara, with his head flailing around in a craze as he was pushed to his limit.
“GOD FUCKING…STOP YOU LUNATIC! IT FREAKING….GYYYYAH!”
As he practically exploded in her, Cheetara felt her pussy clamp down on the intruding shaft as her own orgasm hit her. With one final slam of her hips, she felt herself shoved over the edge.
“OH YESSSSSS!”
Her back went stiff as she jut out her tits while her orgasm hit her like a truck, tingling all the way down her spine as she rode a VERY missed high. Finially, she collapsed upon the detective, nuzzling her face into his sweaty shoulder with a happy grin.
“So, was it good for you?”
--------------------------------------------------------------
“I swear to Asner Cheetara,” Felina growled out as she popped open a tube of some sort of lotion. “If you traumatized this guy away from catgirls I am NEVER going to forgive you.”
The inside of Cheetara’s bedroom had become a touch more crowded with the inclusion of a now damp and towel wearing Felina Feral joining it. The tan cat woman had Anon’s now battered, bruised, and more than a little friction burnt hips laying in her lap while she applied a burn ointment to his more than a little abused member. His upper half was nestled in Cheetara’s lap with the spotted blonde looking apologetic as she looked at her partner.
“Sorry,” The bustier of the two cat girls began, “I mean, it’s been awhile for me and…”
“And it hasn’t been for me!?” The more muscular woman shot back, accidentally rubbing a particularly sensitive spot on Anon’s member and drawing a pained squeak from the human. “It’s been just as long for me, and I didn’t nearly put the poor guy in traction!”
“Ladies…” Anon’s strained voice groaned out. “Normally, I’d love to have a front row seat to a potential catfight but I am in no shape to enjoy it right now…can’t we just cuddle?”
The cat girls stared at each other for a moment before shrugging and drawing Anon to the head of the bed and tucking each other into the sheets as best as they could. After the ladies picked a side of the exhausted P.I. to nuzzle into, the three quickly fell into a deep, purr filled sleep.
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Y’know, I actually really gotta thank Cheetara one of these days. That night gave me something of an idea of what I do to women. Granted I never received any complaints about my performance so I don’t feel bad, but it DID teach me the merits of not going all out as quickly as possible.
Anyway, I suppose you’re wondering what happened next. Did we spend the next day going over the evidence? Gathering up everything we knew about The Animator and his associates? Bust down the doors of the usual suspects and grill them until someone spoke up?
The answer is, no. Again my part in the matter was done and dusted, and the LAPD would be taking the case over. Really, all me and the Kitties did was have breakfast the next morning (Felina makes a really good Crepe funnily enough), exchange numbers and I went home with a limp and a need for an ice pack.
Of course, that’s not to say that this case didn’t come back to haunt me later down the line. But that’s another story entirely.
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The Animator Case will continue in Anon E. Mus, Private Eye: Ghosts, Pasts, and Toons. As for this fic though, well…To Be Continued
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45 goddamned pages. How do I get full chapters out of what was supposed to be smut!?
Anyway, as you may have gathered, I’m planning a spinoff fic for P.I. Anon here. Yeah, the whole overarching plot I had building up was starting to get away from me, so rather than let it overtake this fic I’m just gonna give it a spinoff. Unlike my usual fair though, this one is actually going to have a PLOT! There’s going to be DRAMA! There’s going to be ACTION!
And of course there’s gonna be porn, because I’m not so deluded to think anything else would be the main draw.
Anyway, next up is another chapter of Changing the Grade. Hopefully that will be up before half of next year is gone.
Either way though, happy holidays!
- 6
- 7
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Anon E. Mus Private Eye