Adult-FanFiction.org : Cartoons

The Creeps	By : SleepSomehow Category: +G through L > Hey, Arnold! Views: 6641 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold! nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. Just another dorky fan.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
7: Trusting the Enemy
"Man, I haven't got a clue what to wear on a date!" Helga stomps back to her closet and starts rifling through the many odd garments, tossing them to and fro in the already destroyed bedroom behind her.
"Are you going somewhere formal? Informal?” Phoebe considers, sitting on the bed and kicking her feet, "Will there be lots of walking? Heels might be bad for a stroll through town, yet more fitting for a formal occasion. Although you will have to factor in the height as it can be considered poor taste to tower over your date-"
"Earth to Phoebe!" Helga pauses, turning around, "I don't do heels! Remember that time in the French joint? I fell flat on my face! After all that practicing around the house then boom! Splat! One Pataki down for the count!"
"But... You have nice legs, so maybe give it another try? Not those crazy pointy ones your sister has, something more chunky?"
"Not a chance in hell," Helga goes back to her search.
"Sorry," Phoebe beams, "I'm just so excited for you!"
Helga sighs and plops down on the floor of her bedroom among mountains of clothing, "I'm... starting to not be so excite, myself. This is tough. I mean, our first date! Our first real, actual, date! And I can't even dress myself! What if I show up all fancy and he's in jeans and a dirty old t-shirt? I'll look like such a fool! Or worse, if I don't dress up and he does! Then I'll look like I don't care! When did clothing get so-so complicated!?"
"Are you having trouble looking for an outfit for your little date tonight, Helga?" Miriam walks into the room carrying an old box.
"Yes, Miriam," Helga gives Phoebe an eyeroll, "What's it to you?"
"I have all these old clothes from when I was younger just stashed away in the back of my closet," Miriam drops the box on the bed, wiping the dust off her hands, "Maybe you can find something in there? I was a pretty snazzy dresser back then, y'know."
"Back in the 70's? What, am I supposed to go on a date in faded bellbottoms and a leather fringe vest!?" Helga sighs, sitting next to Phoebe as her friend opens the box.
"Oh no, these aren't those clothes. Your sister took my 'free spirit' stuff back when she was in high school," Miriam giggles as Phoebe pulls out a slinky, dark red, jewel encrusted gown more fitting for a salsa dancer than Helga's lay-about mother, "Well would you look at that! I forgot about that old thing!"
Helga raises an eyebrow, "Mom, you wore that?"
"Sure did! Won a beauty pageant that night, too! I... don't think it would work for a first date though-"
"Yeah no," Helga picks up the item, shimmying it back and forth to make the beads shake, "Wait, you were in a beauty pageant?"
"A few," Miriam smiles and walks from the room, "Nothing too big. Just state level pageants. Y'know, I even made second place Mrs. Texas in '73! Hey, I think I met your father in that gown!" The smile lingers for a fleeting moment then starts to fall away. "Those were the days. Anyway... there's a few nice dresses in there. Maybe something you can use," The woman steps from the room, shoulders back to their usual sag.
After she's gone Helga turns to Phoebe, "Who knew? Well, what's in that old box? Anything salvageable or am I going to be dancing the flamenco?"
Phoebe pulls out a dark green floral dress and keeps pulling out, "Wow this is long! It's pretty, too!"
"I can already see myself tripping over it. Plus I'd blend in with the foliage at the park. He'd show up and never be able to find me!"
A gold sequin number comes out next.
"Can you imagine Miriam in this?" Helga laughs at the too-short shift dress, "Talk about Disco Fever!"
"Was she a Go-Go dancer?" Phoebe holds up some shiny, white, knee-high boots.
"Who knows?" Helga shuffles through the box, "That woman is an enigma sometimes. I told you she was a rodeo star, right?"
"Yeah, it's unbelievable! I wonder what happened?"
"Bob, probably. Knocked her up with Olga and brought her life to a screeching halt," Helga tugs out a few more dresses, "Hey, some of these aren't half bad."
Phoebe pulls out a pair of red patent leather shoes with thick heels, "These look pretty walkable."
"Yeah, they actually do," Helga nabs one, looking it over, "I'd have to practice first. Y'know, make darn sure I'm not faceplanting again."

Arnold paces the center of the bridge trying to brush off his nerves and, unfortunately, his anger at a very unsupportive best friend.
"You've lost it, Arnold! Totally lost it! Following around Ruth McDougall was one thing! Pining after Lila all these years even when she rejected you numerous times? Perfectly fine! Heck, I can even forgive your crush on our substitute teacher Mrs. Felter! But Helga!? Are you INSANE!? Jeezuz... the girl spits, she swears, she's violent! She’s-she's a BEAST! Why, oh, why would any sane fella want to go on a date with Helga Pataki!?"
Gerald would never understand what Arnold has been through these last few days. The things he's discovered. The things he's seen!
"Gerald, she's not a beast! Not even close! She's a total babe! You don't understand-"
"Are you BLIND!?"
"No, I'm NOT blind! I told you about the picture-"
"Just show me, man! I ain't gonna believe Helga's any sorta babe without actual proof! Although, I gotta admit, seein' something like that might break my fragile, young mind in two! Any other girl in school, sure, but seeing Helga naked? No sir! I will pass on that! Spare me the horror!"
"For the last time, I'm not going to show the photo to you nor anyone else! Look, I described it as-"
"Blandly as possible, yeah I know. Tits, ass, hips, I get it! But even so, that personality is one heck of a deal breaker-"
"She isn't actually like that! I've been saying for years-"
"She IS like that and you know it! She's never been anything UNLIKE that! Man, I'm sorry to be such a downer, but I'm mad worried for you! I mean, when the hell did you get knocked in the head and wake up thinking Pataki's the hottest thing since sliced bread?"
"Now you're just being a dick..."
"Man, really though," Gerald frowns, "I'm worried what you're getting yourself in to here! She's gonna pull some lousy Helga crap and you're gonna feel like a damn fool!"
"I can handle myself, Gerald. I would've liked your support, but that's obviously not going to happen. If I want to go on a date with Helga, I'm going on a date with her and not you nor anyone else is going to stop me!"
"Godspeed, my brother. Don't say I didn't tell you so when she dumps a full jumbo soda with ice and a bucket of buttered popcorn on your head then laughs you out of the theater."
"I don't even know if we're going to the movies!"
"Well, whatever happens, when that girl pulls a Helga and turns the whole thing in to one mean-as-hell joke at your expense, I'll be here to help you pick up the pieces of your shattered, misguided, strange little heart. I only wish you'd listen to me and not bother going through with it. You've got a deathwish or somethin'."
Arnold's fists clench at the memory. Even if Gerald’s just being protective, it felt so rude and so... wrong! Arnold's best friend nearly quenched his excitement for this evening. There's just no getting through to the guy and making him understand. None of his friends would get Arnold's point of view on this. To them, dating Helga would be like.... dating one of the guys. Having no close friends to confide in, Arnold went to the next best thing.
"Oh boy, here we go. I knew this would happen eventually," His grandfather had taken Arnold aside, "Ok, so you gotta be smart and you gotta be careful because that girl is a spitfire! I remember my first date with your grandmother. Boy was that doozy!"
"What happened?"
"Well let's see... First, we went to the Circle Theater to watch Dino Spumoni play."
"Grandma told me about that night. Dino played, and everything was great."
"Well, she left out the part where I tried to give her a kiss and got one heck of a black eye for it! Knocked me right on my kiester! I still don't know why she socked me! Musta been something I said. I was always putting my foot in my mouth back then. Ah, youth... So, watch what you do and watch what you say, Shortman! A girl that sensitive and that mean... you're in for one hell of wild a ride!"
Arnold grins a little at this.
A wild ride, huh?
No, this is the first date. I've got to be polite and not... think like that or else I WILL get socked. But it's near impossible not thinking lewd thoughts having read the stolen journal from her closet.

The entry about Helga hiding in his closet wasn't even the most risqué in the book, although her actually being in his room when she wrote it definitely makes it stand out above the rest. Still, there were X-rated fantasies written out in full, exuberant detail. Visions that made his pulse quicken, head spin, and palms sweat.
Arnold wipes the sweat from his hands again at the memory, clearing his throat and, in turn, his mind, "I've gotta stop thinking about that..."

"About what, Football Head?" Helga's voice calls from behind.
He visibly startles, turning to face the approaching figure.
She sounds like Helga and even looks a little like Helga but there's no way...
The girl is in a black dress that appears to be painted on her slender body. With a little red shiny belt to accentuate a teeny waist he barely knew was there. The dress reaches her elbows and her knees, however, it falls off her slim, bare shoulders and does things to her hips that screw up his mind. Arnold's eyes slide down her legs to the bright red matching heels.
Helga in heels...
His eyes start back up the smooth curves of her legs, her hips, the wasp waist, stuttering and stopping at the clinging fabric at her breasts. They're covered but, for once, not hidden in a shapeless nothing. They're there and... perfect.
"Hey! I'm up here, mister! Stare much?"
Her voice is both demanding and teasing.
Arnold coughs, smiles, exams the grass intently for a moment, "Yeah, er, sorry-"
"Did... Did you get me flowers?" Helga gaps.
He picks the bouquet of white gardenias from Mrs. Vitello's flower shop up from the stone bridge and hands it off to her, shy to meet her eyes, "Yeah, here. You... look wonderful, Helga."
"Thanks?" She takes the flowers, looking them over. Possibly unsure what to do with a bouquet of flowers.
The girl does look wonderful. Her hair isn't in pigtails, it's loose and tucked behind an ear in delicate natural waves. She even put on makeup. Just dark eyes and lipstick, yet it's there. Her lips match her shoes and belt. So very shiny red.
Arnold breaths in.
This can't be the snotty little girl he grew up with. Perhaps it's the vivacious, mysterious writer he's just recently discovered. Or Helga's sister Olga dressed her up. Whatever happened, the finished product is captivating.
Arnold tries to ignore his quickening pulse.
Tries to ignore the swirling ink of her penned words dancing in his memory.
Unbeknownst to Helga and Arnold, just yards away in the brush, four shadowy figures huddled in a lump watch the scene on the bridge in the park. They speak in hushed voices, careful not to disturb the pair.
"Are you seein' this, Sid?"
"Wow... You weren't kidding! I-I can't believe it! I wouldn't believe it if I wasn't here seeing it for myself! Stinky, check it out!"
"Boy howdy... That's not our Helga! It can't be!"
"How the hell is that Helga!?" Harold starts to stand up.
Gerald tugs him back down behind the bushes, "Don't you blow our cover! My man Arnold doesn't know we're here! If he finds out, he'll be furious with me!"
"Sorry, it's just... Look at her! What is she wearing!?"
Sid snickers, "I don't know but Mama Mia is it sexy!"
"She looks like a movie starlet from way back when! Oh, why did I ever let her go..." Stinky moans and falls back on the grass with a thud, "My heart hurts just lookin'!"
"Are those high heel shoes?" Sid squints, "Can she even walk in those?"
"She looks like a girl!!" Harold belts out.
"Would ya'll shut up!" Gerald hisses, "Yeah, that's Helga Pataki we're talkin' about here and don't forget it! The meanest chic in school!"
"What, so Patty's chopped liver now?" Harold frowns, "She's tough, too!"
"Well she's the only female wrestler in the whole district," Sid points out, "So-"
Harold's chest puffs up, "Don't you talk bad about Patty!"
"Whoa, big fella! I'm not! Calm down!" Sid raises his hands.
"Everybody just shut the hell up!" Gerald orders, turning back to the task at hand, "We've got an important mission here! Arnold's a good guy in a bad, bad place! We all know what Helga's like. It's only a matter of time before she turns this into one big joke and crushes the poor guy's heart-"
"Also, maybe his face," Sid adds.
"Yeah," Gerald agrees, "Also maybe his face."
"What if they're just on a date and it's no big deal?" Stinky points out, "I mean, look at her! Would a lovely creature like that go through all the trouble just to pull some cruel joke with a man’s heart?"
The others, in unison, state a profound, "Yes!"
- 6
- 7
- 8
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

The Creeps