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The Joys of Married Love	By : varenoea Category: +M through R > Metalocalypse > Slash - Male/Male Views: 2490 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Metaocalypse or its characters, and this is a non-profitable work of fiction.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Skwisgaar has just managed to get himself clean in time for the tour. They have two weeks left before they go off, all over the world, basically. Toki and Skwisgaar have just made it to Norway – they have finally got it into their heads that a guitar endorsement deal is what they really need.

Just before landing, Toki is currently going through the advantages of the deal. “Guitar for frees.”

Skwisgaar, a sleep mask on his eyes, mumbles: “As many as you cans smash, and if you don’t wants smashingk thems, you can play.”

“Dey’re so verskatils.”

“Perfect.”

The plane is hovering over a tiny village. A tiny village with a big, big guitar factory in it. Snow is blown away from the place over several miles when they land.

The sound of his dethphone makes Skwisgaar take down the sleep mask. “Yes, whats?”

“Skwisgaar? This is Charles. Unfortunate news for you. The hotel you were going to sleep in burned down last week. We only got the news now. We managed to get you a room to let.”

“What? No hotels? Is dere room service?”

“No, that’s not usually part of a bed-and-breakfast room to let.”

“Okay. I goes home. Fuck dis.”

“Ah, you don’t want to pick up the guitars then?”

Skwisgaar is silent.

“Yes, we does!” shouts Toki at the phone. “We stays in that letting rooms!”

“Myeah”, mumbles Skwisgaar. “Okays.”

“It belongs to a very nice old lady.”

“Oh. Oh. I sees.”

“You’s so gross.” Toki sticks his finger in his mouth and makes retching sounds.

“Sound likes we can stays one nights. Yeah.”

The old lady is, actually, no older than fifty, and Skwisgaar is heartily disappointed.

“Charles fuckeds wit’ us”, he curses when his bag is dropped on his bed and the Klokateers are gone. “Robots.”

“You’res a sick fuck”, snorts Toki. “You fucks dese… wrinklebag who smells like moth ball! What’s wrongs wit’ you?”

Skwisgaar casts him an angry sidelong glance. That was unnecessary aggression. “Ah, little Tokis. Just because you never gets anys at all.”

“I gets plenties!”

“Sure. I goes take showers now.”

“No. I goes first.”

“Fuck you. I goes.”

They squeeze through the bathroom door at the same time, painfully but successfully. The shower is nothing but a spout coming out of the wall with a little wheel underneath, but there are two of them. Seems like this house once was a casern or boarding house.

“So we both showers at once”, says Toki smugly, and Skwisgaar answers only with his favourite sound. They wordlessly step out of their clothes.

The water is hot, just what you need after a walk through the cold. While Toki lathers himself up with soap, he turns around for a second, and catches Skwisgaar’s gaze. Skwisgaar looks away briefly, but then his eyes return and keep staring at Toki like it’s a staring competition.

“What?” says Toki, feeling uncomfortable under all this staring.

“Notingks.”

“Why are yous staring at me?”

“Because?”

“Stops it. It’s rude.”

“I cans stare at you all I wants. I can sees you nakeds. You marrieds me, you know.”

“Stops it. I don’ts like it.”

“Aw.”

“Like you wants jumps on me and fucks me right now. Dat’s what it look like.”

“Pffffft.” Skwisgaar chortles. “Not in your lifes.”

Toki flees from the shower and grabs his towel. While he brushes his teeth and puts on his pyjama, his stomach won’t hold still. Skwisgaar finishes his rituals completely calm and unstirred, while Toki is sure that it must be showing on his face. How Skwisgaar’s attention has given him goosebumps all over, and a half-erection too. He doesn’t like being strained and taut like this. In his fantasies, it’s Skwisgaar who goes insane over him.

But damn, Skwisgaar can’t look away from him naked…

So there is a plan growing in his head, and now he feels daring enough to act it out.

When Skwisgaar comes into the bedroom and takes his place on one of the two narrow beds, Toki is already snuggled into the other, surrounded by a heap of books.

Skwisgaar struggles with the blanket and curses that the bed is too short. “And de cover is for summers! I’m freezingks my balls off!” He climbs out again and rummages through the wardrobe. Triumphantly, he resurfaces with two woollen blankets, and carries them to the bed. “What are you readingks?”

“Oh, somethingk interestings”, says Toki, and his voice hardly trembles at all.

Skwisgaar picks up a book. “Anal health and pleasure?” He lifts up another. “De joys of gay sex? Knocking on your back door?! What the fucks? Toki?!”

Toki sits up in bed and swallows. “So whats?”

“Okay. Yous sick. I’m offs to sleep. Don’t touchs me when I sleeps.”

“I thinks it’s good to knows, now I’m marrieds to another guys.”

Skwisgaar’s sneer has reached a degree of serious despair. “You’res not readingks dis in front of me to show dat you want to try fucking mes, do you?”

Toki’s throat is tightly clenched. He can’t even say no, so he shakes his head.

Skwiagaar is fuming. “Goods. Fucking sick bastards. Everyones who fuck you is someones I must be sorry for.”

He turns and wraps himself up in his blanket. Toki tries to keep reading, but the letters are blurring in front of his eyes. He feels water filling the space between his lids, and he hates it. All the rejection from the last weeks comes back into his head, and though he tries to block it out, it’s there and making him wish he was dead. No, he wishes that Skwisgaar was dead, first of all.

He turns off the light. If there is one thing he won’t do, it’s let Skwisgaar see him cry.

But then he has to gasp, and a huge gulping sob comes out.

After that, nothing.

“Yeah”, says Skwisgaar eventually. His voice doesn’t even sound unfriendly. “Just lets it out. You gets better.”

Toki buries his head under the pillow to choke any sound. This is not true, damn it. He’s in Dethklok, the most brutal band on the planet, and he’s crying into his pillow. What good is it being brutal if you still have to cry?

Finally, he hears steps beside his bed. There is a flapping sound, and then something heavy and warm settles on him. It’s one of the blankets. There is another moment of silence, then a deep breath, then more silence – and then the steps go back to Skwisgaar’s bed.

And then there’s silence for the rest of the night, or at least until Toki has cried himself into sleep.

Three days later, back in Mordhaus, Nathan is a bit surprised that Toki wants advice on human relationships from him.

“You hads a girlsfriend, or more, so you must knows”, says Toki with burning eyes.

“Know what?” Nathan feels flattered, of course, but he fears that Toki has simply not reached a stage in which a serious relationship with a lady can work out.

“About… about how you makes someone loves you.”

“Uhm. You wanna know how to make someone… fall in love with you?” Nathan cocks his head. Toki seems much more immature than even he feared. “Why? I mean, what for? Who do you want to fall in love?”

Toki has his jaw set. “Skwisgaar”, he says. And then the words tumble out of him. He needs to get them out. Later he doesn’t even remember what he told Nathan, how much, in what order, and in what detail. But Nathan, torn between concern for the band’s climate and concern for Toki, takes the avalanche of words with a lot of thoughtful nods and chews his lower lip.

“Toki”, he begins gently, “did you ever think that Skwisgaar could be… straight, you know?”

“Straight?”

“Heterosexual?”

Toki’s face falls almost down into his collar. “No! You tinks he’s straights?”

“That’s quite likely, you know.” Nathan sighs.

“But den… den he won’ts never love me?” Toki’s eyebrows come together sadly.

“If he’s straight, no.” Nathan shakes his head. “I’m sorry, I can’t say anything nicer, but… you know… there’s no way you can make someone love you. It simply doesn’t work. If I knew how… then I would still be with Rebecca. Or someone else. Could be someone else.” He scratches the back of his neck. “Have you tried talking about it?”

“To Skwisgaar?”

“Yeah. So you know where he’s… at.” Okay. This wasn’t the best idea ever. An honest talk with Skwisgaar is pretty much impossible. Well, he won’t hesitate telling you exactly what he thinks about you. But you will never get it out of him if he has so much as a headache. “So, yeah… try it. Ask if he’s straight. That should help.”

Toki hangs his shoulders.

“Or… try to distract yourself. Get out and do something with friends.”

Toki sighs deeply.

“You need someone who… makes you laugh”, decides Nathan.

Toki looks up. His eyes look light again. “Ah, I knows someone who make me laughs!”

“Good!” Nathan sighs with relief. “Laughing is good for you now.”

It turns out that what Toki had in mind is not what the band had in mind. And so it is that they find Toki falling into the worst possible company – Dr Rockso. And he’s very hard to get rid of. Charles knows how to take appropriate steps, though.

“Charles!” Toki shouts and storms into the conference room, banging the door against the wall. “Rockso calleds me, he says you haves him beaten last night!”

Charles doesn’t do so much as twitch an eyebrow. “I’m afraid we had to, Toki. He displayed very rude behaviour towards the Klokateers.”

“And he’s fucking ugly”, says Murderface and throws his knife so it gets stuck in the table.

“That’s not what I meant when I said funny”, mumbles Nathan.

Skwisgaar is simply pfffffting to himself and folds his arms.

Toki is speechless for a second and gasps for air like a fish. Then he hisses: “You all’s just jealous ‘cause you’re no funs at all!”

“Can we have this conversation later?” interferes Charles. “Toki, I have important news regarding your… marriage.”

Toki stands still. “Yah?” he says, his voice very weak.

“In three days, I have an appointment with a divorce lawyer who is an old school mate of mine.” Charles smiles. “He will not tell anyone about it. He knows me. And Toki - please do not sabotage it again this time.”

“So… we gets a divorceds then?” asks Toki. His eyes seek Skwisgaar’s, but Skwisgaar sits in his chair, leaning back, and holds Toki’s gaze. His eyes are blue like ice. Toki suddenly wonders if he can feel anything at all. “Fine. Dat’s good.”

And Nathan is probably the only one in the room who realizes that Toki is curling his hands into fists.
- 6
- 7
- 8
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The Joys of Married Love