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Memoirs of the Toot Fairy	By : Jayrich Category: +1 through F > Fairly OddParents Views: 19971 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Fairly OddParents, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
Challenge of the Toot

“So, after I was banned from the city of Cincinnati, I paled around for a bit until I came back here to Dimmsdale.”
The Cake ‘N Bacon wasn’t the most ideal place for one to take a date, blind or otherwise. With its rampant aroma of fried pork slices, frosting stains on the floor and wall, and occasional riots at the cake bar during All-You-Can-Choke-Down hour, the air of romance would suffocate and be declared D.O.A. within moments of showing up. But technicalities like that never stopped Denzel Crocker, as he sat across from his date, Ms. Sunshine.
“But, that’s about all I can remember.” He continued. “OH! And I also have dreams about being the most beloved child in town, and a mysterious force transforming me into my loathed, hunchbacked existence…but enough about me, tell me about yourself.”
Understandably, Ms. Sunshine was more than surprised over Crocker’s impromptu confessional. “Well…that’s certainly more information than I planned for…after asking how was your trip here. I think I need to powder my nose.”
She casually rose up from her chair and prepared to make a mad dash for the door, when Denzel stopped her. “What’s the hurry? Got somewhere to be…Mary Alice?”
Hearing that name, the usually cheerful woman’s expression changed to one of dire seriousness, before switching back again to mask her anger as she sat back down. “Would you mind telling me how you found that out?”
“The benefit of being despised and having no social life is you’re able to discover many things on the internet.” He answered. “Things like the existence of fairies…and those who like to hunt them.”
“So, you’re a fairy hunter as well?”
“I dabble.” Denzel admitted. “Mostly just so I can reveal the fact that my High School Student Timmy Turner has…FAIRY GODPARENTS!!!”
His body broke into wild spasms as he shouted those last two words, angering Ms. Sunshine. “Do you mind NOT drawing attention to yourself during this conversation!?”
Crocker merely grinned. “Oh, please. The townspeople have gotten so use to it they barely pay me any attention.” He pointed towards several others eating at tables across from them, and sure enough not one of them even turned their head to acknowledge Crocker’s outburst.
“Interesting…” Ms. Sunshine noted, her voice now several octaves lower. “…But that doesn’t explain why you know my identity, and revealed it to me.”
“The why is simple…” Crocker responded. “…you need me.”
That revelation brought forth a loud but unnerving cackle from the woman. “Really?! ME needing help from a buffoon like you!? I’ve seen your Fairy Hunting tactics…I’m not impressed.”
Denzel remained confident as he leaned back in his chair. “They were enough to stop you when trying to capture Turner’s fairies.”
Enraged, she reached across the table, grabbing Crocker by the collar and pulling him close to her. “I’d advise you NOT to remind me of that, again…”
“Very well.” He replied, still calm. “Then I’ll remind you of this; I still have leeway with the Crossing Guard Guild of Dimmsdale. I can make it so it takes you 6 hours to get to your hotel room!”
Ms. Doombringer gasped at that revelation. “You wouldn’t! I forgot to set my DVR to record Science Teacher Assassin!”
“And you will miss that critically-acclaimed show if you don’t hear out my offer.” Denzel threatened.
Seeing the options in front of her, Ms. Doombringer opted to make the best choice for her. “Fine, I’ll hear what you have to say…but first I have to powder my nose.”
“Seriously?” Crocker asked. “You’re still gonna run out?”
“No, I mean I need to go powder my nose.” She clarified. “For a restaurant that sells cake & bacon it’s awfully dry in here.”
Crocker nodded in agreement as she walked away towards the restroom. “Wait…women actually do that? Mother lied to me!”
Weaving through the tables surrounding her, Doombringer nonchalantly passed several other tables before pushing open the door to the women’s restroom. She ventured over to the sink and reached into her purse, pulling out a small make-up kit before proceeding to powder her nose. As she looked at her reflection in the mirror, she noticed she wasn’t in the bathroom alone. A rather shapely woman wearing a trench coat and a wide-brimmed hat shared the facilities with her. She also had long-flowing raven hair down to her knees, obscuring much of her face.
“Having a good date?” The woman asked, half-sarcastically.
Ms. Doombringer groaned in response. “Only thing good about it is it might benefit my business. It is so hard for a woman in her 50s to find a sane man.”
“And what kind of business would that be?” The woman inquired.
Before Mary could answer, she overheard repeating beeps coming from inside her purse. Stealthily glancing over at it, she saw that the beeps came from her Fairy Finder; there was magic in the vicinity…a gigantic quality of it.
“Oh…I work in magic…” She replied.
“Oh? Like a magician?”
“No…but I can make you disappear!”
With phenomenal speed, she reached into her purse and pulled out her anti-fairy wand, unleashing a massive blast that engulfed the woman. But as the smoke cleared, Mary Alice found that her attack did nothing to her.
“How quaint, you must be a hunter.”
“I am…” She said, reaching behind her for an electrified extendable butterfly net. “And you will soon fear my name as—!”
“Your toys have no hold over me!” The woman declared, as Mary Alice found her net now hovering over her, before dropping down and engulfing her. The electricity coursed through her body causing her to stumble and fall to one knee. “You are fortunate that my business here in Dimmsdale doesn’t involve you.”
Using magic, the mysterious woman levitated Doombringer’s purse and drew it close, taking her Fairy Finder out of it. “But I do thank you for giving me the means to locate my target…”
The item obtained, she turned on her heels and made her way out of the restroom, leaving the Fairy Hunter there wounded. Doombringer did muster up the strength to make it to the door, but collapsed to the floor as she pushed the door open. Audible gasps filled the room as the patrons saw her state, and Crocker quickly rushed to her side, kneeling over and cradling her in his arms.
“No…NO!!!” He cried. “Why do my dates always leave me to pay the Bill!?”

“This is Chet Ubetcha coming to you live from the Doug Dimmadome Dimmsdale Dimmadome…”
The diminutive Channel 7 News reporter stood outside of the massive stadium, where hundreds of fans were already lined up and cheering frantically as they awaited their entrance inside. “…where tonight, our small happy little town will be graced with the presence of Chip Skylark and his brand new band! We are just hours away from the start of this concert, but already fans are rioting just to see the shiny toothed singer after his inexplicable 7-year absence and even more inexplicable return to music!”
Just then, the veteran reporter found himself ducking as a flaming pitchfork flew over his head. “I was able to speak with the returning Pop star about his new tour and band!”
The newscast promptly switched to footage of Chet and Chip sitting across from each other on cushioned chairs. “So Chip, tell us about your new band…”
“Well Chet, I—!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
The singer found himself interrupted by the sound of a high-pitched girlie scream…which came from the reporter before he fainted. “Figures, I still have that effect on people…”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
And unbeknownst to Chip, he also had that effect on Fairies, as Binky fainted while standing in a line of other fairies; all standing in line at attention. The line stretched almost half the distance of Fairy World, and featured some of its brightest and resourceful fairies who’ve volunteered for the Tooth Fairy’s latest mission. It’s still a mystery how Binky managed to break their ranks, but there was one fairy in charge there who wasn’t about to allow his reaction to Chip to go unpunished.
“BINKY!!!”
Immediately the bald wish-granter floated back up and stood at attention as he came face to face with his superior…Jorgen Von Strangle. “I will not have some namby-pamby singer influencing my fairy army in such a fashion—!”
“A-hem!”
Hearing a familiar voice behind him, Jorgen stepped back and revealed that it was his wife, the Tooth Fairy. “I mean, HER army in such a fashion!”
“Alright you maggots, listen up!” The Tooth Fairy growled, showing just as much intensity as her husband. “Steady magic readings have shown a gigantic influx of magic inside Dimmsdale at the moment, which could only mean one thing…their after Chip Skylark’s shiny teeth again!”
The fairies in line responded with panic, as most began to zip around wildly wondering what to do; until Jorgen promptly brought them back in line. “ATTENTION!!!”
And in a blink, they were all back in line, allowing the Tooth Fairy to continue. “But we will not let that happen! My greatest creation will not fall into evil hands! Now stand up straight, eyes forward! During this mission you will answer to me, my husband and my new Lieutenant.”
And almost if on cue, the Lieutenant in question appeared right in front of Binky, revealing herself as Tootie. “Suck in that gut! Shoulder’s square!”
Fearfully Binky did as ordered, as the Fairy World couple took pride in her barking out orders. “She’s giving orders so mercilessly!” Jorgen complimented. “You’ve done a fine job with your apprentice, honey.”
“Oh, thank you babe!” She replied. “She’s come such a long way since I’ve given her the tiara!”
“And all of you better shape up. This is the most important mission you’ll ever—TIMMY!!!”
Her mind distracted in a flash, Tootie made a beeline through the line of fairies, spotting her pink-hatted boyfriend and tackling him lovingly to the ground. “ACK! MY SHOULDER BLADE!!!”
“Although she still has a few tendencies to work out.” The Tooth fairy added.
“TURNER!!!” Jorgen boomed with anger. “What are you doing here!? This is official Tooth Fairy and Military business!”
Timmy picked himself up from the ground to answer the bulky fairy, with Tootie still hugging him. “Hey, can’t a guy come and support his girlfriend on the job?”
POOF!!!
A moment later, Timmy was joined by his own Fairies, Cosmo & Wanda. “He came to get free Chip Skylark tickets.” They added in unison.
“I ALSO came to support my girlfriend!” He said angrily.
“A-hem!”
The sound of the Tooth Fairy clearing her throat again snapped her Lieutenant from her love-struck state. “Oh, right.” Tootie said, before rushing back to her boss’ side. Timmy took this moment to walk over to Jorgen on the sideline, along with his fairies.
“This whole Chip Skylark thing is serious, huh?”
“That singer’s teeth are my wife’s magnum opus.” Jorgen answered. “A shining beacon of what can come from brushing and flossing twice a day. I just wish I didn’t have to listen to his lovey-dovey dance music while protecting him.”
Timmy cocked a curious eyebrow. “You’re not a fan of Chip Skylark?”
“Actually I prefer the melodic tones of Kenny Loggins.” Jorgen confessed, just as his wife finished up her speech. “But my wife tends to get warmonger-y whenever Chip’s teeth are in danger…and she is so sexy when she’s warmonger-y!”
Timmy, Cosmo & Wanda couldn’t help but to shudder from that revelation as they switched their focused to Jorgen’s wife, who was finishing up her motivational speech.
“…I want every fairy wing here flapping, and every wand held high! On my dental tiara, no harm shall come to Chip Skylark’s teeth!”
Jorgen took this moment to join in. “Now…SCRAMBLE THE FAIRIES!!!”
Upon his command, the fairies took off and soared high into the air, making their way towards the rainbow bridge that connects Fairy World to the human world. With her soldiers mobilizing, the Tooth Fairy turned to her loyal Lieutenant. “Don’t take too long with your boyfriend, Tootie. I’ll need you to help secure the perimeter.”
“Aye-aye, ma’am!” Tootie replied, saluting her with her wand.
TOOTH POOF!!!
And with a wave of her wand, the Tooth Fairy disappeared in a puff of purple smoke, leaving the couple alone. “So, Tootie, any chance you might’ve gotten tickets to one of the biggest events in known human history?”
“Is that all I am to you, just a ticket girl!?” Tootie disputed.
“No! No, of course not!” Timmy argued. “You’re my beautiful, loving girlfriend.”
“Who has magical abilities that he can use to create loopholes in Da Rules.” Cosmo added, to Timmy’s annoyance.
“Wanda?”
With a sigh, the pink-haired fairy raised her wand…
POOF!!!
…and conjured a bucket to appear on her husband’s head. “Hey, is it naptime already?” Cosmo asked. What followed next was sounds of snoring, indicating that he had fallen asleep.
Tootie rolled her eyes before dipping her thumb and index finger into her bosom, retrieving the very items Timmy asked for. “I had to make two runs through England to get these, so you owe me!” She scolded.
Happy to see the tickets, Timmy turned and pulled her closer, smiling warmly. “Thank you, Tootie. I mean it.”
She felt goosebumps wash over her as she stared into his eyes lovingly, but interrupted the moment when she recalled something. “Wait, how come you’re parents didn’t get you tickets?”
“Yeah…You see…”
10 Minutes Earlier…
“WE’RE GOING TO THE CONCERT!!!”
That’s the exclamation Timmy’s parents made as they watched Chet Ubetcha’s newscast on TV, both of them wearing their old Chip Skylark T-shirts, which had clearly shrunk over the years. The look of the shirt made Timmy’s mother more appealing, while the sight of Timmy’s father would require some eye bleach. Timmy simply sat on the couch between them, trying his best not to make eye contact with either.
“I can’t believe it, we’re going to see Chip Skylark from the 14^th row at the Dimmadome!” Timmy’s Mom cheered.
“Yeah, and all it cost us was 3/4^th of Timmy’s college fund!” His Dad added. “Good thing I got that coupon for enrollment to Dimmsdale State Tech M&A!”
“Hey, we better get a move on before the rioting really starts.” Mom suggested, pulling out a flaming pitchfork of her own.
“You’re right!” Dad agreed as they both jumped to their feet and charged out the front door. “Hey, where’s my flaming pitchfork?”
“You’re just gonna have to pick one up at the concert.” His wife told him.
“Aww, but they sell the expensive ones there!”
“Bye Timmy, we love you!” Timmy’s Mom shouted as they dashed off down the street. “Happy Peppy Betty and Gary should be there any minute!”
Upon hearing those dreaded names, Timmy’s eyes widened as he called out to his fairies. “EMERGENCY WISH PROTOCOL PIGTAIL!!!”
POOF!!!
And instantly, the fairy couple appeared in the corner of the living room, along with a blue escape pod which popped up out of the floor. Immediately the three entered the pod, with Cosmo getting in one last word before they descended down on their journey.
“And you say the Escape Pod to Fairy World was a dumb wish!”

The town was abuzz with Skylark-fever as nearly everyone in town had their own ticket to see his grand return with his band. And with the streets nearly empty, it gave Timmy & Tootie time to enjoy each other as they strolled down the street towards the gigantic arena housing the concert. Timmy put his arm around her as she leaned into him, with Cosmo & Wanda playing the role of hummingbirds buzzing above them.
“Isn’t it romantic out tonight?” Tootie swooned.
Timmy chuckled. “Yeah, I guess it kinda is. Cool breeze, the stars are out, Principal Waxeplax sitting on a throne made of pastries…”
It took a moment for that last fact to register, but once it did, it caused the couple to do a double take. And sure enough, it was the image of their current High School Principal they saw, sitting on a throne made of Bear claws and Long johns as she popped multiple donut holes into her mouth.
“That’s…not right.” Tootie noted. “I think that strange magic is close.”
“Eh, don’t get so worked up.” Timmy told her. “Stuff like that happens all the time. Remember when the Cake & Bacon had its Arbor Day sale?”
“Oh yeah, then explain that…”
Tootie pointed across the street to a scene that was even stranger than the sight of their pastry queen principal before…Chester & A.J. arm-in-arm with Trixie Tang and Veronica; effectively taking the place of Tad and Chad.
“Hey, Chip Skylark’s music has that kind of power.” Timmy countered. “Plus A.J’s probably paying her.”
“Hey Timmy, hey Tootie.”
The couple turned around to see their lesser known friend Elmer approaching him, wearing a huge grin. He waved to the two as he walked passed cheerfully, but both Timmy & Tootie gasped in shock upon the sight of him. There was indeed some powerful magic at work…because Elmer’s boil was completely gone.
“OK, NOW there’s a magical presence at work.” Timmy conceded.
“And it’s powerful enough to get rid of Elmer’s boil.” Wanda added. “Last time we tried to do it, it almost started World War 3 with Fairy World.”
“Thank goodness your father was such a good peace negotiator.” Cosmo added. “He even gave the enemy troops free cement shoes.”
“Whatever’s going on, I gotta find the source.” Tootie said, looking into the star on her magic wand; which Timmy saw as a good idea.
“Cosmo, Wanda—!”
“Already on it.” Wanda interrupted as the fairy couple examined the immediate area for a strong source of magical energy. “I’m reading that this strange magic is swirling around us.”
“Really? I’m reading its power level.” Cosmo added.
“So what’s the power level?” Timmy inquired.
“It’s Over—!”
“THERE!” Wanda interrupted, knocking Cosmo over as she pointed out the location of the magic, which just happened to be the Dimmsdale Dimmadome. “It’s over there! Come on!”
The four rushed across the street, making a mad dash towards the arena where the concert was just letting in for fans. Opting to take a stealth approach, they slipped in through the loading dock, entering the underground parking lot of the arena. It was there that they spotted a woman in a trench coat, who made their wands glow brightly with energy.
“That’s her!” Wanda surmised. “Whatever this power is, it’s coming from her!”
“Alright, you…” Tootie said, brandishing her wand. “Chip Skylark’s teeth are off limits!”
The woman stopped, and turned towards the four holding the Fairy Finder from before. “It’s about time you two go here. I thought I’d have to scour the town to find you.”
“AAHHH! DOOMBRINGER!!!” Cosmo & Wanda yelled, before instinctively poofing themselves into matching pencils in Timmy’s pockets.
“The crazy lady who tried to kidnap me?” Tootie asked.
Timmy didn’t answer right away, instead he narrowed his eyes to get a better look at the mysterious woman. Her face was shrouded under the brim of her hat, and her figure was much more of an hourglass shape. But what really told the tale was her hair; as Ms. Sunshine it was a bright orange and as her true Doombringer persona, it was snow white. This woman’s hair was black.
“You’re not Doombringer…” Timmy revealed.
“No, but I had a run-in with her earlier.” The woman revealed. “Cute toys, but nothing that could even slow me down.”
“Then who are you!?” Tootie demanded.
The woman replied with a low laugh, which slowly raised in pitch and morphed into a mad cackle as she began to float into the air. Grabbing her hat, she tossed it aside to reveal her face…which was an eerie bright green. “My name…is Desiree.”
The magical aura she emitted was palpable, as both Timmy & Tootie could feel it resonating from her. It was so powerful it forced Cosmo & Wanda back into their fairy forms, much to Timmy’s surprise. “What the…what’s going on?”
“We need to get outta here!” Wanda warned. “I can sense her magic…she’s a genie!”
Timmy remained steadfast. “So? We’ve taken down Norm several times in the past, and she doesn’t look that tough!”
As Timmy spoke those words, he noticed the magical aura increasing around Desiree, as bolts of lightning began to spark away from her. “OK, she does look that tough.”
“We can still take her!” Tootie said with determination. “There’s no way she’s getting Chip Skylark’s teeth!”
Desiree chuckled at her bold statement. “You misunderstand me, young one. I am not here for the pop star’s teeth…I’m here for your boyfriend’s Fairies!”
She pointed at Cosmo & Wanda, both shocked at the revelation just made. But Cosmo’s shock quickly changed to compliance as he saw how shapely the genie was…and her bosom bursting through the top of her trench coat. “Well, if it’s to save Timmy, I—AAGH!!!”
Before he could finished, he found himself pinned to the ground by a ball & chain, courtesy of his loving wife. “You always save we should do more stuff together!”
“My Fairies…what do you want with them!?” Timmy demanded.
“That is not your concern.” Desiree answered. “Now step aside, before I send you to oblivion.”
That was a threat Tootie wouldn’t stand for. “You’re gonna have to go through me, Bra-Buster!”
The mysterious genie cocked a curious eyebrow, before grinning deviously and floating higher into the air. “Young one…you have no idea the scope of power that you face!”
- 6
- 7
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Memoirs of the Toot Fairy