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Domo Arigato, Miss Roboto	By : V021 Category: +G through L > Invader Zim > Het- Male/Female Views: 3131 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Bienvenue, mes amis, au prochain acompte de Domo Arigato! Yes, yes. Be in awe of my skill with French. (And access to BabelFish…) As I bask in the warmth of all your reviews, I shall now give you all the GRATITOUS VIOLENCE! Aren’t you thrilled yet! And the horrible truth of Mary-Anne shall finally be revealed! Thank you, bleedman of DeviantArt, for inspiring me! Now might also be a good time to mention that I’m a BIG fan of Sam Raimi movies, Lovecraft, and Jeffery Combs. Mmm… I loves me some B-movies!
Songs (Ab-)used: Coheed & Cambria - The Camper Velourium (I, II, and III) (a/n: lyrics appears as ((la-la-la)) and “la-la-la” if spoken/sung by a character.)
Chapter 7: The Camper Velourium (Or “Zim’s Revenge In Three Parts”)
--- 1. The Faint of Heart:
((Coo-coo, Cha-cho! Ha-ha-ha!)) ((With the worries that I give her in … They told the worst of me…))
The drive back to Zim’s base had been a relatively silent one since all that the El Camino’s radio seemed able to pick up was the incessant fritz of static and the alien’s normal ranting randomly about everything had lapsed into a weird brooding quiet. Growling in annoyance, Gaz gave up on trying to tune in something other than pop muzak or reports about the latest rash of morgue break-ins and instead glared out the window at the scenery as it blurred past. It barely registered to her that, out of the corner of his eye, Zim was watching her with a faintly hidden grin.
((My wanting just to hold your neck in my arms and feel me squeeze…)) ((No, I’m not going to give you what you want, so if you please…))
His body still stung from the beating she’d given him, but it was healing faster than his pride. So this lowly little maggot thought she could just knock him, ZIM, about like a filthy drone-slave, eh? Did Gaz really believe that he was going to sit back and take the massive amounts of abuse without ever striking back? If so, then Zim had quite the surprise planned for her once they reached the base…
((The sin that shapes your voice carries to my ears a new disease …))
“What the hell are you giggling about?” Gaz muttered, shooting a nasty glance over her shoulder at the alien.
“Oh, nothing, Gaz.” He replied coolly. “I was just thinking about my plan--”
“Our plan.” she corrected sourly.
“The plan,” continued Zim, trying to keep his anger in check. Patience…patience… “Have completed your half of the bargain?”
“I had one hell of a time getting Uncle Herbert to part with it. But after I threatened to tell his ‘room-mate’ about those experiments he was still doing in the basement, he finally gave me the stuff. What about you?”
“Oooh…I’m ready on my end, Gaz. Oh, so very ready indeed…”
((The Anxious through the coming storm… You‘ll sit and pray for rain…)) ((Ah- coo-coo, cha-coo!))
Pulling up to the curb, Zim cut the motor and quickly got out of the car. In an instant, he was holding Gaz’s door open with that grin like happy murder on his face.
Gaz stared at him. She had never trusted the alien and the way he’d been acting lately was starting to disturb her. Maybe it was just her imagination, but the psycho-Dom act and the sudden rages, it seemed to her that Zim was finally loosing his grip on sanity. Not that he was ever holding on that tightly anyway…
((No, I‘m not going to let you get up if you struggle willingly…)) ((Ah- coo-coo, cha-coo!))
Patience…patience… He fucking hated being patient
((I‘ll favor all your form to show you how its been done to me…))
“Hurry up, human!” Zim barked, the irritation now obvious.
“What’s the rush?”
“Eh…I’ve…um, got something to show you.”
Gaz cracked open her eye a little and gave him a wary look, but got out of the car anyway. She had a nagging sensation of foreboding as she followed the smirking freak to the front door. It seemed weird of Zim to keep insisting on holding the door open for her, ushering her inside the darkened living room with a frantic grin.
((With all the words you say… You’ll save.))
“Okay, Zim,” hissed Gaz, keeping her back to him. “What the hell did you want to show me?”
((You were so well behaved…)) ((As you watched and made your way…)) ((This gift for you engraved…))
“I just thought that I would congratulate you on a job well-done, soldier.” he drawled in a stiff voice, reaching for something in his PAK. “After all, Gaz, you’ve proven that you had what it takes to be a completely heart-less, bloodthirsty bitch.
((You were so well behaved…)) ((You were so well…))
There was a note of affection as he added sweetly, “You would’ve made a magnificent Invader with that kind of attitude.”
((Who taught these tricks that make… You were so well behaved…))
“That’s why it almost saddens me that I must terminate our alliance.”
Gaz just barely ducked aside as Zim lunges for her, his hand just grazing her left shoulder. Knowing that the alien would try a stunt like this sooner or later, she’d come prepared and pulled from nowhere her trusty baseball bat.
“Alright, Zim. You asked for it.”
((If the world stops turning, Girl you better not stop when I say…))
Still smiling, he calmly stood his ground.
No one, sane or not, had ever before just waited for Gaz to kill them in grisly fashion. Yet it was the smug expression of triumph that made her hesitate.
“You must really… want… to… die…” slurred the words as a wave of dizziness hit her.
((If there was nothing you could do to stop it, then why’d you try!))
Numbly, she touched her shoulder and saw the smear of blood when she drew her hand back.
The needle Zim was holding hit the floor.
((Then the ground starts parting through the silence as you woke up the dead!))
Roaring enraged, Gaz charged forward and swung at Zim, but in her weakening condition he easily sidestepped the blow.
“What’s wrong, Gaz?” he mocked, watching the poison take it’s toll on her. “Not feeling well?”
“RA-ARGH!” Desperately, she swung again but now she’s so weak that the bat slips out of her hands. The force of the swing unbalanced her and Gaz fell forward onto the carpet.
((Everything here dies alone…))
Causally, Zim glanced at her prone form. “Hmmm… forty-seconds. Not bad…For a human.”
((But I’m not quite sure what you’ve been told…))
“Don’t feel too badly about how things turned out, Gaz. It’s nothing personal… Well, okay, so it is. ” he sneered. Lazily, he picked up the bat, tested the balance making as if to smash in her skull, and then tossed it aside. “You were quite a formidable opponent. It took me almost an entire day to come up with the perfect method to dispose of you. I’m amazed that this simple trick worked on you. I’ve always thought you were the more guarded type…”
((But I’m not quite sure how this unfolds…))
“I guess my charm was just too much for your feeble girliness,” Zim rambled on in his power-drunk way. “Still, this has to be one of my more INGENIOUS moments.”
((Not starting with you, but the faint of heart…))
“Now I can deal with the girl and Dib free of your interference. What do you think of that, Gaz?”
There was a pause, as if Zim expected an answer. She could barely focus on face blurring in green and red as he leaned over her.
“Did somebody take you tongue?” asked the alien, in sarcastic tone.
Without a sound, Gaz began the slide into a swirling dark cesspool of unconsciousness. Vaguely, she felt him kiss her on the cheek. The last thing she’s aware of is Zim cooing softly in her ear.
“Good-night… Sleep tight…my love…”
Leaving her sprawled on the floor, Zim step over the body and picked up the phone.
((Did somebody take your tongue?)) ((In worries of the words that you couldn't say… if they could've saved them from…))
All he needed was a quick vocal tweak and Phase:2 of the plan would soon be set in motion.
((But I don’t want to sleep without…))
Stepping into her apartment, Mary-Anne sighed as she dropped her keys onto the shelf by the door. The drive up to lake had been just perfect until a noise spooked Dib. Sure, something may have ran past the window but it wasn’t any big deal. Even after assuring him that it was only a rabbit or a stray dog, Dib insisted on getting out and checking. When he got back into the car, there was this hunted desperation on his face and the moment was gone.
((So I’ll bid to you, Good-night…))
“I’m sorry,” Dib mumbled when he dropped her off. “I’m… feeling sick again, so I’m going to go home…get some sleep.”
She remembered frowning with disappointment and apprehension at the distance in his eyes. Could it be that he was regressing?
“I’ll call you and we’ll go out again as soon as I’m feeling better, okay?” he barked with a sudden brightness that Mary-Anne had no choice but to accept.
((Sleep tight…))
The furious ringing of the phone shook Mary-Anne out of her gloom. Could her little Dib finally be ready to accept it now? For a second, she wondered if she should just ignore it, play out the ‘jilted girlfriend’ routine for his sake, but the ‘forgiving sweetheart’ routine seemed better for this situation, so she jumped for the phone eagerly.
“Hello?”
((My gun…))

--- 2. Backend of Forever
Twisting and turning fitfully on the couch, Dib tried in vain to fall to sleep. Sleep and forgot…
((Rock silent in a soft lullaby…))
But every time he closed his eyes, the flashing green shape, blood-spattered gravels, and muddied water kept replaying past in his mind, each single image so disquietingly ambiguous alone yet terrifying when taken together. And questions burned through his mind. How could Zim have known about them going to the lake?
What possessed the little psycho to stalk him everywhere? That wasn’t like Zim at all! In fact, that seemed more like something he would’ve done …no! That was the old Dib. Besides, Zim wasn’t above hunting people down, especially if they had threatened his fucking mission him some real--or more often imagined-- reason. As far as Dib knew, he hadn’t done anything lately that would cause his ‘former’ enemy to think of him as a threat. To be honest, lately he hadn’t felt very up to deeds more dangerous than sleeping…or at least trying to sleep. So why wouldn’t Zim give up already!
((Panic stirred me awake, by a ringing phone in time…))
Dib nearly took out the TV set as he struggled to sit up and get the phone. “Hello?”
((Where and when would I see her?))
“Dib! What are doing?” Mary-Anne squeaked through the staticy connection of her cell-phone. “Why are you still at home?!”
((Crazy were the words that scribbled out your mouth…))
“What are you talking about?” came the sleep-deprived grouse. “I told you that I was feeling sick.”
“But you said you’d call if you were feeling better, right? And I know it was you who called and told me to be waiting here for you.” He strained to hear her over the dull thump of footsteps echoing as she paced the hallway. “I‘ve been wandering around this drafty old place for hours, Dib!”
(( I stuttered, replacing your face to those words…))
“Huh!” Muzzily, he tried to grasp what she just said. “Run that by me one more time.”
((Where and when would I kill her?))
“Look, you told me to met you at the St. Dismas’ over an hour ago!”
Was that a rat chattering in the background?
((…to the bitter end of my day…))
“Mary-Anne, why would I want to met you at a condemned hospital?”
((Well, where were you?))
Muffed by static, he heard her quickly bark “Dib…I…There’s somebody else here… Oh my God! What are you doing…” She started to say a name but it was drowned out in a yelp.
((So you had your turn…))
Dumbly, Dib held onto the receiver as he heard the cell clatter onto the floor. Even through the awful connection he could make out the scuffle, Mary-Anne crying out, someone or something slamming against a hard surface, and then a fleshy ‘crack!’.
((As crazy as it may seem, I cried for you when you…))
There was a sickening gurgling.
“Mary-Anne, are you okay?” he gasped, heart pounding in dread. “Mary-Anne!”
As the gurgling slowed, someone picked up the phone. Their breathes came in a sharp, heavy pat.
((And I’ll believe anything…))
On the other end, there was a sobbing little chuckle. “I have no luck with girls…”
It was a voice that made the blood in Dib’s veins froze to slush as the line went dead. Dropping the phone, he tore out of the house in a blind run.
((Misleading trust…))
Racing down the empty sidewalk, a string of mad ideas wriggled about Dib’s head.
((OVER AND OUT, CONNECTICUT!))
‘Zim couldn’t have… He just couldn’t have… He isn’t capable of…’
The gurgles and laughter echoed in his ears.
((But you had your back turned…))
Like a graying scab on the landscape, St. Dismas loomed up from behind spike-concertina wire topped concrete wall. But there was a gape in the spikes and wire, as if waiting for him to jump through.
((I found out…))
Landing in the tangle of overgrown weeds, Did saw a trail had been beaten down leading to the main doors of the hospital.
“God,” he growled. “Does Zim really think I’m that stupid!”
((You weren’t worth what I thought of you…))
Stumbling his way through the densely massed grass, Dib hauled ass toward the side-door. In places the paint had chipped away, leaving large patches of rust like old bloodstains underneath fractured panes of wire-reinforced glass. Yanking uselessly on the handle for several precious seconds, he remembered that the training he had under Master Bash-‘em, founder of Demolitionist-style Kung Fu.
The door imploded in a burst of metal and glass, leaving a hole large enough for Dib to easily walk through. Warily, he started down the murky hallway.
In the dim light, he failed to see a pair of sensors set up on either side of the hall. As he passed by them, the lights suddenly blazed on and the P.A. cracked to life.
((Write this in that diary you abuse…))
“November 12th, ----.” hummed a voice. “The procedure was a success!”
Dib frozen in mid-step, stunned by the fact that it was his own voice echoing through the empty green halls.
((Can we make plans?))
“Please forgive me, but I’m desperate…” gasped the recorded Dib. “It’s the only way to get on with my life!”
“Stop it…” Dib whispered, recalling the dank stink of gore and oil from the night.
((Can I just get through to you?))
But the recording droned on. “…she’s a triumph of SCIENCE and MAN! The sum total of femininity as only to be found in a melding of all that is womanly! Every inch of her, every single scrap of flesh honed to absolutely perfection… Flawless in every detail! She is the Ultimate Girlfriend!”
He covered his ears and ran, not caring where he went.
((Is this weird? Do I scare her?))
But Dib could never really block out the words as it chased him through the winding maze of hallways and doors.
“So what if a few people end up hurt! Damn them all anyway! I’ll live a normal life even if it fucking kills me!”
Slipping in a puddle seeping across the floor, Dib went sprawling onto the tiles.
((I’ll wish on this… I’ll wish with this…))
From behind the door next to him, Dib heard a sharp, nasty laugh.
((I wish… That you could share the love you shared with others with me…))
“November 17th, ----” the voice was raspy now. “Oh God, I don’t know if can keep this up any longer…”
((So you had your turn, and you made it work…))
Slowly, Dib sat up and looked the wet red streaks on the floor. Red stained his palms and the front of his shirts as well.
((Now I’m the laughing stock of your joke…))
“Who the hell was I fooling!” raged the recording. “I knew this would never work out! I just knew! But it’s too late now…”
((As crazy as it may seem, I cried for you when you…))
“I’ve let this go on for too long… She’s become too real—too human— now…”
((Told me to date all of the things that made you end up in my life…))
Dib got up off the floor.
In the frosted panes was a silhouette staring out at him. It’s hand moved in a faint simmer and pressed against the glass.
((And I’ll believe anything…))
“I should’ve torn her apart before I finished her…”
((I have no luck with girls…))
The door opened and Zim stood blocking his view into the room. There were smears of grease and blood down the black rubber apron he wore.
“I overheard that you were unhappy too…” cooed the alien innocently. “Into a relationship that makes no sense.”
Dib already was aware of what had happened, yet that didn’t stop him from pushing Zim aside and walking into the room.
((As you faded away…)) ((At the end of my day, I found out…))
Spread out on the table, Mary-Anne’s body had been reduced to a gruesome shell. Metal ribs and bone gleamed out of the flayed flaps of tissue pinned back to display how thoroughly the carcass had been stripped of organs and internal mechanisms. Zim had placed them all in trays lined up neatly across the back counter, a glistening display of viscera for him to enjoy.
((You weren’t worth what I thought of you…))
The shock, the horror… the relief… It was too much for Dib in his over stressed state. The laughter came out of him in great, heaving surges. He laughed and laughed and laughed until tears poured down his face in salty waves.
((But this isn’t love…))
At first taken aback by the human’s behavior, Zim quickly joined his foe in laughing madly at the carnage before them.
((So forever let it go… Forever let it burn…))
Still howling like a manic, Dib reached into his trench coat and wrapped his hand around the sawed-off stock resting snugly at his side.
((This isn’t love! There on the backend of forever, )) (( I wish I would never hurt again!))
Spinning gracefully on the ball of his foot, Dib leveled the shotgun at Zim and calmly pulled the trigger.
The blast caught Zim square in the chest, sending him staggering backwards. A second shot tore away the right side of his face, splattering chunks of blue-violet stuff over the wall behind him. Zim went crashing to the ground in a twitching heap.
Dib walked over to the body, grinning a skull-faced grin as he leaned down to inspect the damage. It fell a little as he took a close look at exploded face staring up at him from the pooled body fluids.
After all, Dib wasn’t the only one on Earth who could make lifelike androids.
--- 3. Al The Killer
A scream of inhumanly crazed rage rented the silence. In the room behind Dib, there was a heavy pounding against the steel doors of the freezer. Behind the door, he thought he could hear an ungodly clucking. Jerky, shuffling shadows twisted down the wall towards him.
((At birth given scars along tender heart liberties…))
Dib straightened up quickly and retreated back into the autopsy room, locking the door. He stumbled backwards into the table, squishing a hand into the mass of pulped tissue, then slide around it to put his back to the tray-laden counter. Sure he had his back to the wall, but at least Dib was sure nothing could attack him from behind now…
He thought wrong.
((Injustice for awkward living situated casualties…))
Slimy intestines roped around his neck and arms, squeezing tightly to drive out his breath. Dib struggled against this vile noose, upsetting a large flask as he grabbed for the bone-saw left carelessly nearby. Fingers closing around the saw, Dib slashed the intestines away in wild jerks, splattering gooey pieces all over the room.
Satisfied that the threat was neutralized, he happened to look down at the contents of the flask oozing into a glowing neon-green puddle across the floor tiles.
((They lay dead along your floor…))
“Reagent?” Dib muttered dumbly, then it all dawn on him. Setting this trap in a hospital, the alliance with Gaz, the reports about missing bodies…
Behind him, the freezer door clanged open.
((Careful not to wake them. They’re sleeping…))
The first freezer-zombie fell as its head erupted in a shower of bone and pulp. Dib cocked his gun and took down the next zombie with two shots to the legs. It was still going, dragging itself forward by it’s jagged nails. A flock of re-animated turkeys bounded over it’s back.
((In the morrow’s good mourning…))
“Hey Gaz,” he groused, blasting away at the turkeys of the damned. “Let me show you this neat trick Uncle Herbert showed me last Thanksgiving…”
((The dying will discard the wish to live.))
Satisfied that the last of the accursed fowl, plus the kneecap-less zombie, were down permanently, Dib turned his attention to his sole way out.
((LET THIS COLONY KNOW, IN THE NAME OF THE DEAD, WE’RE COMING!))
Shooting his way through the zombies massed around the door, Dib made a wild dash down the hall. His goal was to escape out the side entrance he’d come in through, then get reinforcements to deal with both the zombies and Zim.
((Dance upon the graves of the dead, upon the graves of the dead!))
Unfortunately, somebody must’ve tipped the zombies off because Dib quickly found that path overrun with heaps upon heaps of the vile undead. As spent shells and carnage piled up around him, it become clear to Dib that retreating would be his best option right then. Given the considerable amounts of ammo he had to fire just to backtrack to the relative safety of a broom closet, any reasonable person would have thought that our big-head boy had a shotgun that never reloading.
((You’ll get nothing for something…))
“Okay, got to think! Think Dib, THINK!” he panted aloud as the zombies clawed and thumped against the flimsy plywood barrier. “You’ve got to get out of here, but there’s too many undead on the ground floor to keep gunning down till I make it to the side door. And it will probably be the same for every other door out. So how can I escape!”
An idea struck him. “Of course! All the zombies are concentrated on the ground floor! That must mean that the higher levels are clear!”
((Arise the hidden war of the dead!))
Dib blew a gap through the zombie horde and took off at a dead sprint for the closest staircase. His feet barely touched the steps as he bolted upward. Soon he’d be free of this nightmare building and be able to get enough firepower to turn St. Dismas into a smolder crater, along with Zim’s filthy alien hide.
((Beneath the surface, sealed by the floors…))
“Aiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee!”
The very second he pushed the second-floor doors open, a fresh wave of zombies surge forward. In rapid-fire panic, Dib blasted and beat back the zombies. Once he had cleared a space wide enough, he took a running leap toward the nearest window and…
((Boarded up!))
…slammed headlong into a force field.
Dazed by the blow, Dib wasn’t prepared for the zombies to pounce upon him.
((Seal the lips of your voice with haste…)) ((And cower at the sounds they make.))
Screaming, Dib was dragged down under the sheer weight as the zombies clawed and tore at his body. Soon he was submerged in a foul, shrieking mound of reanimated death and taloned doom.
((Surprise speed and malice…)) ((The opposing break the surface, hold ready!))
The zombie pile erupted suddenly in a burst of shredded fleshiness with Dib roaring and ripping his way free like a crazed bear. In a dance of blind manic rage, he cleaved gleefully into the undead hordes as they gushed toward him in rotting torrents.
((When kill her, I’ll have her!))
Laughing like the madman he truly was, Dib ripped a path of slaughter up the hallway as he headed for the next staircase up. On the next floor, he repeated his merry butchery and went up to the next floor, and the next…
Soon, he was literally wading up to his thighs in dismembered corpses. But that didn’t stop his need for more carnage…
((Dance upon the graves of the dead! Upon your name!))
The zombies, now reduced to a pathetic group that included one reanimated road-kill possum and a cyborg gopher, continued to throw themselves at Dib oblivious to his wild rampage of total destruction.
Soon, it was down to just Dib and one rather sorry looking zombie salesman. Grinning that death-head smile, the boy reduced this last undead to a slimy puree with his bare hands.
((Will the killing veil Love should the heroes play dumb?))
Dib panted raggedly, breathing in the stink of utter carnage as he surveyed his handiwork.
((But the killings no fun when the heroes are numb…))
Standing amid the heaps of massacre and holding slaughtered meat like a blood-spattered hellspawn, one thought, one face played over and over again in his blood-crazed mind. It pounded cancerously through his veins, chewing and tearing away at very last of his sanity.
((Bye-bye, world! Bye-bye world!))
Throwing his head back, Dib let rent a cry that came ripping out of his soul in torrent of hatred, fury, and malice so powerful that it rocked the foundations of over twelve city-blocks.
“ZIM!”
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Domo Arigato, Miss Roboto