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The Remnant Armada
By : DarkWolves
Category: +M through R > RWBY
Views: 65085 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY and I make no money from writing this.
Chapter List
- 66
- 67
- 68
Ruby texting on her scroll: “Who is this? Yang thought it would be funny to change all my scroll contacts and now I don’t recognise anyone”

“What am I?”

Ruby: “The Board”

“How dare she, I’m not that flat!”

Ruby: “Oh, hey Weiss”

Weiss: “Shut up, dolt!”

Ruby: “Maybe she wasn’t thinking of it as a physical thing. Maybe she was referring to your future position as an Executive member of SDC?”

Weiss: “You think?”

<Beat>

Ruby: “No, it’s because your boobs are small”

Weiss: “Up yours!”

<Weiss returns to the RWBY dorm to find the room empty except for a cardboard box in the centre of the dorm. A crudely drawn blue button is attached in the centre with the phrase ‘Weiss, press here’.

Weiss looks at it quizzically before stepping forwards. Weiss presses the button. Predictably, nothing happens. Weiss is about to dismiss it and move on->

Ruby, poking the back of Weiss’s head: “Boop!”

<Weiss shrieks as she wheels back around to face the crimsonette standing behind her>

Weiss: “Ruby! Where were-”

Ruby, cheerily: “In the closet”

<Ruby skips away without further explanation>

<Team RWBY are taking a vacation in Vacuo. They visit the ruins of an Oasis City on the edge of the desert. Ruby reads the information plaque near the oasis>

Ruby: “It says here that there used to be an entire city built around the oasis which served as a key trade and supply point for travellers to the neighbouring cities. It’s believed to be one of the oldest settlements in the region and was founded by a group of Faunus nomads who settled here after wandering the desert from a neighbouring tribe.

The city was severely damaged by…”

<Cough>

Ruby, under her breath: “…Atlas”

Ruby: “The Kingdom sacked and burned the city during the Great War”

Weiss, putting on an even posher façade: “Yes, but they just wouldn’t do as they were told. There’s only so much gentle persuasion we’ve really got time for. If the softly, softly approach doesn’t work I’m afraid it’s the plasma rifles and the Air Fleet”

<Ruby and Yang stare at her in horror. Blake stares daggers as she debates whether to use Gambol Shroud or just strangle her teammate to death with her own hands>

Weiss, quickly: “That was a joke”

Yang: “Yeah, better leave the darkly introspective humour to Blake”

<Ruby nods profusely>

<Weiss reading from an article on applications of Dust in medicine>

Weiss: “It says here that Atlas Doctors have created a new scanner which uses similar technology in SDC Dust mineral scanners to detect potential abnormalities in the body. Noted Proctologist Doctor Katherine Albright is quoted as saying that this could prove to be a breakthrough in the early detection and treatment of a wide range of conditions”

Ruby: “What’s a Proctologist?”

Yang: “Butt doctor”

Ruby: “Oh”

Weiss: “It’s odd, not many people go into medicine anticipating that they would end up specialising in that particular field. One would expect that that they would want to be something seen as more glamourous like a brain or heart surgeon”

Yang: “I guess even in medicine you have to start with the bottom and work your way up”

<Beat>

Ruby: “Boo!”

<Weiss and Yangs daughter asks her parents a question>

Kai: “Mummy, what does ‘Impotence’ mean?”

<Weiss and Yang stare horrified at eachother>

Yang: “Well, you know when you’re playing with your hand puppet and you take your hand out? It’s a bit like that”

<Weiss stares across at her like ‘What are you trying to teach our daughter?’. Yang tries a different tact>

Yang: “You remember how we promised you a little brother or sister one day? Well, that might not happen because mommy’s ‘Little Swimmers’ are feeling a little lazy”

Weiss, with thinly veiled venom: “Maybe if mommy didn’t spend so much time on ‘Those kinds of websites’ maybe her ‘Little Swimmers’ might be in better shape”

Yang, with equally thinly veiled venom: “Well maybe if mummy tried a bit harder mommy wouldn’t need to spend time on those websites”

Weiss, with rather less thinly veiled venom: “Well mummy is sorry that she is too focussed on her career to help mommy’s ‘urges’”

Yang, with more less thinly veiled venom: “And mommy is sorry that she doesn’t earn as much to-”

Kai: “Is that why the Councilman has to leave because he can’t have more children?”

<Weiss and Yang stare at her confused. Kai holds up her scroll showing a news article calling for the resignation of a Vale Council member due to his ‘Incompetence’.

Weiss and Yang stare at eachother.>

Yang: “You wanted to know what it meant? Apparently, it’s your mum and me”

<Ruby and Blake lay lounging on the beach, watching Yang chase Weiss across the water>

Ruby: “It’s weird. Weiss always seems so uptight and reserved but the moment there’s any sun she’s immediately out in that miniscule white bikini she wears”

Blake: “It’s a cultural thing, it’s to do with the climate. Atlas is completely covered in ice so of course they would take every opportunity to indulge themselves when the suns out. My grandmother used to say ‘Atlesians are always either naked or in uniform’”

<Ruby gets a faraway look in her eyes>

Blake: “You’re imagining Weiss naked, aren’t you?”

Ruby: “I wasn’t until you suggested it. I was actually imagining a uniform. I say uniform, whether you’d call black rimmed glasses, open white school top, thigh length plaid skirt, knees socks and no panties a uniform”

<Weiss returns to the dorm to find another box sitting in the centre of the room. Weiss glances around and tentatively steps towards it.

Weiss hears giggling coming from the closet behind her. Weiss rushes over and pulls the closet door open. She finds a scroll attached to a speaker set up on the shelf>

Ruby, poking the back of Weiss’s head: “Boop!”

<Weiss shrieks as she wheels back around to face her>

Weiss: “Ruby! Where-”

Ruby, cheerily: “In the box”

<Ruby turns around before wordlessly climbing back into the box and closing the lid on top of her>

<Blake getting dressed up in a smart suit in the RWBY dorm>

Yang: “Oh, hot date? Who’s the lucky girl?”

Blake, flatly: “My probation officer”

Ruby: “Probation?”

Blake: “For my involvement with the White Fang. As part of my enrolment at Beacon I agreed to attend regular appointments with a probation officer”

Yang: “What could possibly go wrong?”

*******************************

<Blake sits across the desk from her probation officer as they re-read the papers in front of them>

Probation Officer: “The good news Miss Belladonna is I’ve been reviewing your file and I’m pleased with your progress. Enjoying your time as a student?”

Blake: “Yes”

Probation Officer: “Any contact with former or current White Fang members?”

Blake: “No”

Probation Officer: “Keeping up with assignments at school?”

Blake: “Yes”

Probation Officer: “Any issues with aggression or violent conduct?”

Blake: “No”

Probation Officer: “Still want to destroy the Schnee Dust Company?”

Blake: “Yes”

<The Probation Officer looks up at Blake>

Blake, in horror: “Wait, I meant ‘No’. No!”

*******************************

<Blake returns to the Ruby dorm>

Ruby, looking up from her comic: “How did it go?”

Blake collapses down onto her bed: “Don’t ask”

<Blake returns to the dorm to find Yang laid out invitingly across her bunk wearing a frilly sky-blue dress very reminiscent of a certain porridge eating housebreaker>

Yang, coquettishly: “Come over here Mummy kitty”

Blake, coquettishly playing along: “Oh, but that bed is far too hard”

Yang, on the verge of panic after waiting there for several hours for Blake to come back: “It’s not the only thing that’s too hard, get over here now!”

<Team RWBY are practicing in the training arena. Weiss charges only to stumble over and crash heavily to the ground. Blake rushes over and crouches next to Weiss>

Blake, concerned: “Weiss are you ok?”

Weiss, hissing in pain: “No, I think I twisted my-”

Ruby, yelling across the arena: “Weiss! It’s ok Weiss, I’m here”

<Ruby skids on her knees across the arena floor to reach her battle partner>

Ruby: “I took First Aid at Signal. Now, let’s take a look”

<Ruby roughly pulled off Weiss’s boot, on the wrong foot no less. Ruby eventually realised her mistake and pulled off Weiss’s other boot, no less forcefully than before>

Ruby: “First, I’m going to need to do a deep tissue massage to keep the blood circulating”

<Ruby started pawing at Weiss’s ankle, eliciting a sharp hiss from Weiss with every boorish touch>

Blake, concerned: “Ruby, it just looks like a sprain-”

Ruby to Blake: “It’s ok, I can handle this”

<Ruby holds Weiss’s ankle in her hands>

Ruby: “Ok, on three”

Weiss, apprehensive: “On what?”

Ruby: “One, two-”

<Ruby twists Weiss’s ankle, causing Weiss to howl in pain>

Ruby: “Hmm, seems it’s not quite set right. Let’s try again on-”

Weiss, on the verge of screaming: “You back off, Dr Crippen!”

<Team RWBY are lounging around the RWBY dorm. Weiss notices that Ruby is utterly enthralled in a textbook>

Weiss: “Amazing, I’ve never seen Ruby so engrossed in a book which didn’t have colourful pictures of people punching eachother”

Ruby: “It’s a survival book that teaches you all about living in the wilderness. For example, did you know that if you eat nothing but rabbit you die? Apparently, it uses up the vitamins and minerals your body needs to process the high amount of protein which results in malnutrition”

Yang, with a smirk: “Better let Coco know then. With the amount of time she spends with Velvet she could be in serious of risk of ‘overindulgence’”

Ruby, having it completely flown over her head: “Do Coco and Velvet do a lot of survival training together then?”

<Beat>

Yang: “Oh Ruby, please stay as sweet as you are forever”

<Ruby and Weiss get into an argument as Weiss thinks Ruby is lazy>

Ruby: “You see Weiss, what you’re not getting is that laziness is the foundation for almost all of mankind’s greatest inventions.

It’s too much work carrying this load on my back, I’ll invent the cart.

It’s too much work pulling this cart, I’ll get an animal to pull it for me.

It’s too much work looking after this animal, I’ll invent the internal combustion engine.

It’s too much work pleasuring my partner, I’ll-”

Weiss: “How did we get here?”

Ruby: “Doesn’t matter, my point is-”

Weiss: “Ruby, I don’t care how much effort it is you still have to wash up the dishes!”

<Ruby and Weiss are helping Yang clear out boxes from her attic. Ruby opens one of the boxes to find a crude plastic facemask of Weiss with a frowny face>

Ruby, slightly concerned: “Yang, why do you have a Weiss facemask in your attic?”

<Ruby holds it up as Yangs eyes practically glow>

Yang: “Oh, I didn’t know I still had this. This was from my last trip to Atlas. Did you know that in Atlas to be convicted of a speeding offence they not only have to prove that you were speeding but also who was driving the car?”

Ruby, catching on: “So, you had that made in order to avoid speeding fines?”

Yang, smugly holding up the mask: “Exactly”

Weiss, calling up to the attic: “Ok, I’ve put the rest of the boxes by the door”

<Weiss climbs up into the attic>

Weiss: “What do you want-”

<Weiss notices Yang holding the facemask>

Weiss, disturbed: “Yang, why do you have a creepy mask of my face?”

<Beat>

Yang, confidently: “Weiss, I can assure you that I made a facemask of you for purely sexual purposes”

<Ruby and Weiss stare blankly as Yang looks triumphant>

<Weiss and Yang are enjoying a night out together when, after a few drinks, another patron decides to ask Yang how much her implants cost. The ensuing bar fight requires over a dozen officers, dog unit, SWAT team and a helicopter to subdue. Yang lays at the back of the police cell nursing her oncoming hangover as Weiss leans against the bars. Ruby comes in to visit them>

Ruby: “Well, it’s like Yang always taught me ‘It doesn’t matter how many times you fall over, it’s how many times you get back up’”

Weiss: “Ruby, that’s not how a sobriety test works”

Ruby: “Be that as it may, I thought I’d bring you something”

<Ruby hands Weiss a note through the bars>

Ruby, whispering: “This is to help you escape”

Weiss: “Ruby, you do realise that we’re only going to be in here a few days, right?”

Ruby: “Still, I think you’ll need this”

<Weiss opens the note, revealing a photo of Ruby kneeling on her bed naked with her back to the camera, peering over her shoulder with a coquettish smile. Weiss quickly folded it back over before anyone else could see>

Weiss, quizzically: “How is this supposed to help us escape?”

Ruby: “I just meant mentally”

<Given the current situation, ‘that’ was about the furthest thing from her mind. On top of that, Weiss was fairly certain that if Yang ever found this, she wouldn’t survive long enough to be released>

<Weiss returns to the dorm to find yet another box sitting in the centre of the room. Weiss decides to take no chances this time. She summons a gravity glyph beneath the box and throws it up against the ceiling, the box collapses completely flat before falling to the ground.

Next, Weiss draws Myrtenaster and throws open the closet door. Nothing.

She begins to eye the room suspiciously; she knows the Dolt’s hiding here somewhere but-

The door to the dorm opens. Weiss wheels around only to be faced by a very confused Yang staring at Weiss as she pants with panicked exertion. Yang looks over to see the smashed box in the centre of the dorm>

Yang, concerned: “Weiss, are you ok?”

Weiss panting, on the verge of panic: “I don’t… where… box”

<Yang steps forward and calmly takes Weiss’s weapon and leads her to her bed>

Yang: “It’s ok Weiss. Why don’t you just have a lie down here”

<Yang lays Weiss down in her bed. Weiss finally begins to relax as she drifts off->

Ruby, softly as she pokes Weiss’s forehead: “Boop”

<Weiss leaps out of the bed so fast she nearly smacks her head on the underside of the bunkbed. Weiss watched as Ruby climbed down from her bed>

Ruby and Yang high-five eachother: “Sister team attack!”

<Team RWBY sit in the library staring blankly at this week’s assignment>

Yang: “Exactly how does Goodwitch expect us to get through all of this in just under a week?”

Weiss: “While I admit it does seem daunting it has presented a most intriguing intellectual conundrum to unravel”

Ruby: “Whoa Weiss, if it’s even got you stumped it must be good”

Weiss: “Indeed. In fact, I haven’t been this perplexed since we played ‘Whose Tongue is that?’ at Finishing School”

Yang: “Seriously?”

Weiss: “Oh yes. A rather tricky game actually. If it weren’t for the Headmistresses lavender scented bodywash we might never have known”

<RBY stare at Weiss>

Weiss, flatly: “That was a joke”

<Ruby sits reading an article about a cache of recently declassified military records>

Ruby: “According to this Atlas had the idea of creating a small, unmanned attack drone they were going to call the ‘Mosquito Bomber’”

Yang, with a grin: “Yeah I heard about that one. The top brass shelved the idea saying they were more interested in bombing Grimm”

<Beat>

Yang: “Apparently before the modern Mechs Atlas also investigated the idea of utilising clockwork robots as soldiers. But this had to abandoned after General Ironwood wound them all up the wrong way”

<Beat>

Ruby: “Boo!”

<Weiss and Yang are coming back from an SDC event together. While driving along a backroad at night in the rain Yang swerves off the road to avoid an animal. Although they’re unhurt Yangs car needs to be taken in for repairs.

Using what little scroll signal Yang can summon she sends a text to Ruby with their location asking her to send a tow truck and a cab. After nearly an hour waiting in the dark, they spot headlights approaching on the road. As they draw near, they soon recognise it as a very familiar looking white BMW, one with personal ‘SDC’ plates.

The driver’s window rolls down as Ruby peers out at them>

Weiss, stunned: “What are you doing here?”

Ruby: “I’m here to pick you up”

Yang: “Ruby, I asked you to call for a tow truck and a cab”

Ruby: “Yeah, the tow trucks on its way and I’m here to pick you up”

Weiss: “Have you ever driven my car before?”

Ruby: “That’s not important”

Weiss: “Do you have any insurance?”

Ruby: “That’s not important”

Weiss: “How did you even start it without the key?”

<Beat>

Ruby: “That’s not important”

<Ruby returns to the RWBY dorm. Blake and Yang are lounging around in bed while Weiss sits hunched over her desk, writing furiously>

Ruby, on the verge of panic: “Oh no, is there some weekend assignment I completely forgot about?”

Yang: “Relax, Rubes. It’s just Weiss writing another letter. Probably decrying another grammatical error in this week’s Beacon Chronicler”

Blake, without looking up from her novel: “Disgusted from Atlas over here”

<Weiss slams her pen down on the desk>

Weiss: “For your information, it’s perfectly reasonable to expect proper standards to be maintained and to politely point out faults so that they might be corrected in the future”

Blake: “You did say that anyone who confused their fish knife and their salad knife should be sent to a camp”

<Beat>

Weiss: “Only for their education and betterment until they can safely re-enter society”
- 66
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The Remnant Armada	By : DarkWolves Category: +M through R > RWBY Views: 65085 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY and I make no money from writing this.

The Remnant Armada