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Widdle Wouds: Wesolution	By : Worlds_First_Ghost Category: +G through L > The Loud House Views: 2162 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
“Dear kids, we’ll be out of the house for a few days. Listen to Lori while we’re gone. – Mom and Dad”
Lori was the first to find the note, which was unceremoniously tacked to the fridge with a letter L magnet. It read so abrupt and impersonal; there wasn’t even a “Love you” at the end. Lori placed the note back on the fridge and tried calling both her parents’ cell phones, which predictably went straight to voicemail. Searching their bedroom also yielded no results, as the only thing inside it that changed was that most of their clothes were missing from the drawers and closet. This told her nothing except that wherever they were, they were most likely planning to stay there for several days.
Lori shuffled her feet on her way back to the kitchen, thinking about how she would break the news to her sisters. It turned out that she would be spared the ordeal, as they had all already woken up and found things out by themselves. All but Lisa were clustered around the fridge and babbling amongst each other as they read the note, their distressed voices massing together into a cloud of noise as they wondered aloud where their parents were. The youngest sister, meanwhile, was seated at the kitchen table with a small tablet in her hand. As soon as Lori entered the room, Lisa motioned for her to come over, claiming that she had already solved the mystery. What both Lynn Sr. and Rita neglected to take into account were the microchips that Lisa had previously embedded into their skin for instances such as these. Lisa had since upgraded her radar-based tracking device to include GPS, which allowed her to pinpoint their exact location. Lori looked over the information on Lisa’s tablet and relayed it to everyone else. It turned out that they were currently residing at “Ted & Jay’s Motel,” a seedy two-star lodging propped along the freeway that led to downtown Detroit. Usually a haven for crack fiends and sex offenders, most of its rooms smelled like mildew and semen, and its shoddy electrical wiring made even switching on a light into a potential fire hazard. Even with all that in mind, Lori couldn’t help but envy her parents and wish that they had taken her with them. Although, maybe it was for the best that she stayed behind. Looking at the confused, tear-stained congregation in front of her, it was unthinkable to leave them at the mercy of those two wretches upstairs.
With the initial panic now mostly quashed, the girls collectively looked to Lori for further direction. Since having responsibility thrust upon her was like second nature at this point, it only took her a few minutes of thinking, in addition to a little bit of arts and crafts, to present her idea for a new system of order while Mom and Dad were away. It was a chore wheel which dictated who was in charge of washing, feeding, and caring for both Luan and Leni at various points in the day. The time periods were rigid and equal in measure, ensuring that nobody would be forced to spend any more time with them than absolutely necessary. Lori herself was absent from the wheel since she argued that she would be the one in charge of housework and providing for the family as a whole. Lisa was also excluded, with the reasoning being that she was much too small to handle Leni or Luan on her own. Lola and Lana both protested; Lisa was hardly smaller than they were, so why did she get special treatment? Lori pointed out that both of them shared their shifts with each other, and that two people working together should be plenty to overcome a single teen baby. With that settled, everyone begrudgingly agreed to abide by the new system.
The day went on in this manner, with everyone pitching in to take care of the “little ones.” Lynn wrestled Luan into the bathtub while a diaperless Leni took a shit on the hallway floor, which the twins were forced to clean up. Lucy washed her face in the kitchen sink after Leni spewed her breakfast of carrot puree all over it, all while the others fought to restrain Luan from attempting to roll down the stairs. Lana had barely managed to stop Leni from guzzling a bottle of cleaning solution just as Lola burst into the room screaming as a chunk of Luan’s dookie sailed over her head. In all, it was a by the numbers day in the Loud House.
Meanwhile, Lori and Lisa were taking full advantage of their newfound free time. After sealing themselves inside Lisa’s room, safe from the projectile feces and ear-splitting crying, they had begun creating a plan that would not only get rid of Luan and Leni, but also put an end to the spread of this horrible disease. Trying to replicate what was done with Lincoln and Luna was out of the question; there couldn’t be any more sloppy murders and leaving body parts around for someone to gobble up.
“Obviously we need to do it away from the house,” Lori said. “Not only will it keep the others from finding out, but it also creates distance between the disease and our family.”
Lisa had already begun unfurling a map of Royal Woods. “I concur. We should bury the remains in a location where it is unlikely that anyone in the household would ever go to. Might I suggest the woods? Excluding Lana, none of our remaining siblings are too fond of the outdoors, and even she is unlikely to venture too deep by herself.”
“That’s fine. It’s a long drive, though. How are going to keep them in the van that long without them trying to make a break for it?”
“Will simply claiming that we’ll be taking them to the candy store not suffice?”
“That might fool Leni, but Luan isn’t as dumb as she looks. She’ll literally know something’s up the minute we drive out of town.”
Lisa adjusted her glasses and paused for a moment before responding. “I might have a plan. It is rather convoluted, and there are undoubtedly risks involved, but I believe it is the most effective way to safely transport them over such a long distance.”
That evening, a sibling meeting was called in Lori’s room. Lori slammed her shoe against the dresser, silencing the dissatisfied grumbling around her and officially beginning the session. She looked around at her audience. Five pairs of eyes looked back. If it wasn’t evident to Lori before that the number of children in this house had been halved, it was now. She felt her throat tighten, but she quickly coughed into her free hand to clear it. It gave her all the more reason to act now before their numbers grew even smaller.
“Okay everyone, I know we’re all upset about Mom and Dad not being here. But I’m here to tell you that there’s literally a reason for it. Can anyone guess what it is?” Lori paused and, after no response, resumed shortly. “It’s because of Leni and Luan. They’ve literally been driving them crazy. I mean, wouldn’t any of you want to leave if it meant getting away from them?”
Murmuring began amongst the sisters. It was slow at first, but it gradually grew more vocal and punctuated with nods of agreement. Lori fought the urge to cry out in joy; they were actually listening to her. Up to this point, any bad talk in regards to the “babies” would’ve been met with ridicule, but now it finally seemed like they were on her side.
“They won’t be gone forever though, right?” Lana asked, her lower lip quivering slightly. “Do you think they’ll come back soon?”
Lori nodded sympathetically. “I think so. But I’ll tell you this much: they literally won’t come back as long as those babies live under this roof. We have to get rid of them.”
“Get rid of them, how?” Lynn asked. She crossed her arms and looked at Lori dubiously.
Knowing that here was no way that these kids would ever be softened to the idea of familial murder, Lori had come prepared to wave off any suspicion. “We can get someone else to take care of them. I think we have a relative nearby who would agree to it.”
“Which relative?” Lucy asked. The shoe in Lori’s hand was slowly being crushed in her grip; she hadn’t actually thought her lie out that far ahead.
With Lori looking clueless, Lisa stepped up to the front of the room to field the question. “According to my genealogical research, one of our second cousins once removed lives rather close by Farmington Hills. Lori and I plan to drive there and make a case for them to adopt both Luan and Leni.” The research was complete bogus, but everyone bought it, just as Lisa anticipated.
Lynn snorted. “Good luck with that. That’s almost a twenty minute drive. I don’t think Vanzilla’s seats can take it if Luan tries tearing them up again like she always does whenever she’s cooped up in there for too long.”
“Yeah,” Lola chimed in. “Especially if she isn’t going to get anything out of it in the end. Remember when we told her that we were going to Dairy Land when we were really going to the dentist instead?”
Lucy shivered. “Don’t remind me. I still get nightmares about it.”
“Yeah, yeah, we know,” said Lori. “Lisa and I literally thought of all that, so that’s why we’re planning on restraining her somehow so that she doesn’t pitch a fit during the drive.”
“How are you gonna do that?” asked Lana.
Lori grinned. “That’s where you guys come in. It’ll be a bit tricky to lure Luan into the van, but if you all follow exactly what I say, everything will be back to normal before you know it.”
The next morning, Lana approached Luan and Leni’s room with a bottle of milk in her hand. Even though she had initially volunteered when Lori was looking for someone to put her plan into action, the sickening, potential danger within that room was causing her to drag her feet. She shuffled in place before raising a shaky fist to knock loudly on the door. “Rise and shine, kiddos!” Her voice burst out as a wobbly croak at first, but it quickly normalized as she continued her memorized script. “I’ve got your favorite breakfast ready for ya! Fresh, warm milk.” She shook the bottle of liquid in her hand, making it slosh loud enough to hear from behind the door. There was no response at first; Luan and Leni weren’t normally woken up for breakfast until a half hour from now. After a few seconds, however, a hollow, metallic creaking that made Lana’s ears twitch reverberated from inside. One of the beasts was stirring.
“Wawm miwkies?” Luan’s voice was groggy and muffled, but Lana could still detect the doubt surrounding it. A snort was heard, followed by a sputtering raspberry. “Momma not hewe no mowe! How you have wawm miwkies?”
Lana rubbed her hand up and down the bottle nervously as she struggled to remember her lines. “Uhh… It’s because… it’s Lori’s? Yeah, that’s right! Lori made it special for you!”
The door rattled on its hinges due to a crash from inside; one of the cribs must have toppled over. Clumsy footsteps rumbled towards the door and soon the handle was rattling violently, causing Lana to step back a few feet. With a resounding boom from the door slamming against the wall, Luan staggered on all fours out from the shadow of the doorframe. Her desiccated frame convulsed with every hungry breath and her darkened eyelids twitched as she focused on the object in Lana’s hand. Lana wanted to turn away, but she kept her line of sight on the wretch in front of her; experience with wild animals had taught her not to turn her back on a dangerous creature. Those gnarled, crusty fingernails and yellowed teeth weren’t claws or fangs, but she still wasn’t eager to find out how much damage they could inflict if given the chance.
“Lowi’s miwkies!” Luan’s bloodshot eyes bobbed along to the trembling bottle in Lana’s hand while her breath hissed through the gaps of her clenched teeth. “Give baby the miwkies, Wana!”
Lana forced herself to remain still and keep her eyes locked with Luan’s. If Lori’s plan were to succeed, she had to keep a level head; she wouldn’t give Luan the pleasure in smelling her fear. Lana stood completely motionless until she heard the crunch of Luan’s diaper as she took a step forward. Lana immediately swiveled around and lobbed the bottle down the hallway. It soared all the way towards the staircase before Lola, who had been waiting there patiently while all this went on, jumped and caught it. Luan produced a warbling roar from the back of her phlegmy throat before propelling herself past Lana, knocking her down in the process. Lola yelped and blindly tossed the bottle downstairs before ducking into one of the bedrooms to avoid the maniac charging at her. Luan skidded to a halt in front of the staircase as she watched the bottle fly past the bottom step only for it to be scooped out of the air in a catcher’s mitt.
Lynn held her prize triumphantly as Luan wailed from above. She sneered at Luan and remained rooted in her spot, even as the oversized infant began barreling down the stairs. Once Luan was more than halfway down, Lynn jogged towards the front door and had already crossed the threshold by the time Luan reached the bottom. The muscles in Luan’s body coiled and she pounced towards Lynn, hoping to sail past the door and land on top of her. She had just got off the ground when the door was slammed shut; she didn’t even have enough time to throw her hands in front of her before she realized she was about to crash. Her face struck the door with an echoing crack and she slumped to the floor in an unconscious heap.
On the other side of the door, Lucy dusted off her hands and sighed. It felt good to be a part of the plan, but she still felt like she didn’t do much. She opened the door and looked down at Luan. A frothy puddle of drool was beginning to form at the bottom of her mouth, and her diaper looked as if a fresh, mushy payload had filled it just after the impact. Plugging her nose with one hand, she used the other to signal to Lori that Luan was out like a light.
Lori came up the porch steps carrying a pair of nylon ropes that were normally used to securing cargo on top of Vanzilla. She then tied Luan’s wrists and ankles together before carrying her to the back seat of the van. Once inside, Luan was then fastened into place with a seatbelt for extra assurance. By the time that was all done, Lola and Lana had just led Leni by the hand all the way to the van. Unlike Luan, Leni exhibited very little violent tendencies, so she could easily be handled by the others. Lori’s expression twisted into a grimace as Leni looked up at her. Leni had the opposite reaction, unbridled excitement stretching her mouth into a yellow-toothed grin.
“Wheh we goin, Lowi?”
“We’re taking a trip, Leni. Your, uh… cousin wants to see you. It’s gonna be a long drive, so try to behave yourself in the van, okay?”
“Yay! Woad twip! Woad twip!”
“Settle down, Leni. Your sister’s asleep in the back already. Don’t wake her up.”
Lori lifted Leni under the armpits and began the process of fitting her into the hulking car seat that once belonged to Luna. Once the numerous straps were fastened and the mucus-coated safety bar clicked into place, Lori took her seat behind the wheel and started the engine. While she waited for Lisa to get in, she tilted the rearview mirror to glimpse at the drooling, smiling woman-child in the back. The metal and plastic car seat screeched under Leni’s weight as she burbled and bounced, seemingly oblivious to the world around her. A sigh rattled from Lori’s mouth and she averted her gaze; it just wasn’t fair. Leni was a victim like her, like the rest of the family. She didn’t willfully eat her own kin’s flesh to turn into the creature that she was; this curse was forced onto her. If there was a way to spare her somehow, Lori would’ve gladly taken that option. Instead, all she could do was hope that Leni wouldn’t have to suffer during her final moments.
Lisa had just finished loading the trunk before she clambered into the passenger’s seat. The supplies were minimal: a pair of shovels and a small bag containing a first aid kit and a sealed canister containing an unknown, hazardous chemical carefully handpicked by Lisa. Lori had also requested that Lisa pack her golf bag in case things went south; she felt much more confident in her ability to swing one of her prize-winning clubs over wielding a knife or any other weapon. Also stored in the van was a pair of hazmat suits that the two planned to put on once they were out of sight from the rest of the family. It wasn’t cheap for Lori to buy hers on such short notice, but Lisa insisted that it was a necessary precaution.
The engine continued to chug and gutter like it was on its last legs, and Lori waited for it to subside a little longer before pulling out of the driveway. Lola, Lana, Lucy, and Lynn all stood in a row on the sidewalk and waved goodbye to the passing van; Lori watched them slowly grow smaller in the mirror the further she drove down the street. Once they had pulled out of the neighborhood, Lori pulled over so that she and Lisa could put on the suits. The yellow, rubbery material clung to Lori’s skin and squeaked whenever it rubbed against anything. From behind her facemask, she glanced over at Lisa, who looked about as comfortable her suit as someone who had gone through this process about a million times before. “Are you sure that we couldn’t just wait till we’re literally at the woods to put these on?” A hollow buzz encased Lori’s voice due to her respirator.
“Take it from someone with experience in this field, dear sister: when handling live subjects, one must never take shortcuts when it comes to safety.”
The bright red sun was hardly visible above the tree tops by the time the van reached the woods. Neither Lori nor Lisa wanted to chance waking Luan up by making too much noise, so they had remained nearly silent throughout the whole trip. Lori in particular was much more focused on mentally preparing herself for the heinous act they were about to commit rather than thinking about meaningless small talk. In fact, she was so preoccupied on steeling her mind that the road in front of her became more of an afterthought. It didn’t occur to her right away that the van was drifting slightly towards the left until its tires went off the road and onto the grassy, uneven soil. The entire vehicle rattled on its rusty suspensions, startling Lori out of her concentration before she quickly righted it back onto the road. She mumbled a small curse at herself under her breath for being careless, but she wasn’t about to dwell on it.
Meanwhile, in the backseat of the van, Luan’s eyes fluttered open shortly after the shaking subsided. Her face was swollen, her mind was murky, and when she tried to raise herself from her currently sideways position, she found herself unable to move her arms and legs. Panic immediately set in as she wriggled her arms to no avail, but her initial reaction to cry out was halted when she spotted Leni sitting right beside her. Aside from the buckles and straps of the car seat, she was otherwise unrestrained. Luan gritted her teeth; whoever was behind this was about to pay sorely for that oversight.
Luan managed to wriggle across the seat until the top of her head pressed against the base of Leni’s seat. “Weni,” she hissed. Leni turned with a look of joy upon seeing Luan was finally awake. She opened her mouth wide, but Luan quickly shushed her. “Don’t say a wowd. Just untie me.”
Leni’s smile disappeared and she took a moment to process Luan’s request. Fortunately for Luan, Leni’s unquestioning loyalty trumped her stupidity. With her fumbling hands, she was only able to slightly loosen the knot around Luan’s wrists, but Luan was still able to slip her hands out and free her ankles. Luan briefly flexed her sore wrists and fingers before hoisting herself over the next row of seats. Despite her best efforts to lower herself gently, the aging seats creaked and whined as Luan’s weight pressed down on their springs. Fortunately for her, the continual thundering of Vanzilla’s engine was more than enough to obscure most of the noise she was making, and she wasted no time in climbing over the next row.
Maybe it was just Lori’s natural instinct as a driver to periodically check the mirrors at that exact moment, even though there weren’t any other cars for miles. Maybe she just wanted to glance at her reflection, or perhaps it was just random movement of her eyes. For whatever reason it was, Lori’s eyes just happened to flit over to the rearview mirror at the precise moment that Luan was precariously balanced on top of the second row of seats. Lori screamed and instinctively threw her body to the left, her hands still clutching the steering wheel as she did so. Tires squealed against the asphalt as Vanzilla swerved hard left and shot off the road. Clouds of dirt and grassy clods of mud hurled past the windows and the entire vehicle rocked across the bumpy terrain, tossing Luan to the floor in the process. Still in the throes of fear, Lori could hardly regain herself before their momentum halted and everyone inside was thrown forward.
The van had crashed into a tree, creating an impact so deep it looked as if the front of the van was about to wrap around the entire trunk. Lori fought against the deployed airbags as she opened the door and threw herself out and onto the loamy earth. Her body ached and shivered as she was forced to put a hand on the side of the van to help herself stand up. Hobbling around the back to the passenger side, she exhaled in relief upon seeing that Lisa had already pulled herself out safely. Her glasses were askew and her messy hair stuck out in all directions, but she didn’t look seriously hurt.
“Are you okay?”
Lisa straightened her glasses and ran a hand across her head to smooth out her frazzled hair. “Do not fret. There is a chance that I may be afflicted with minor vertigo, but my condition is otherwise stable.”
As Lori and Lisa walked off towards a nearby tree to collect their bearings, the side door lurched open with a rusted clunk. The two sisters immediately backed away from the van and watched Luan fall from her seat and crash headfirst onto the ground. Her entire body quivered like jelly and as she raised herself up and constantly shifted her weight from side to side; it was as if the mere act of standing on two feet was a struggle for her. She craned her head forward to glare at Lori, revealing a thin, bloody scratch that curved under her hairline and stretched along the side of her head. Hot air blasted through the gaps in her teeth in rapid bursts before culminating into an enraged bellow. “Dis not how you tweat a baby, Lowi!”
Luan’s palms struck the grass with a crunch that could barely be heard over her nasally hyperventilation. Staring Lori down like a bull in the ring, she arched her back and charged towards her, clumps of grass and topsoil being kicked up in her wake. Lisa stumbled towards a nearby tree for cover while Lori bolted to the van. Still not having fully recovered from the crash, Lori tripped over herself but managed to stop herself from falling down by slamming against the van. Panicked gasps fogged her facemask as she hugged the side of the vehicle in her desperate dash towards the trunk. Once there, she wrenched it open and spotted her golf bag with most of its ejected contents scattered around the floor. With the earthy scrapes of Luan’s footsteps growing louder, she grabbed a club at pure random and held it out at arm’s length. It turned out to be her sand wedge; a club specialized in hitting the ball out of sand traps. While she had hoped to grab something with a weightier head, the wide, flat head of this club would at least allow for a faster swing. Hopefully it could cleave through Luan’s face as efficiently as it could sand.
Luan finally reached Lori and snarled at the club in her hands. Lori trembled as she took her hands off the van, but she held her club in a way that she assumed looked threatening, since Luan began slowly backing away from her. The ground appeared to shift at an angle in Lori’s blurry field of vision, but she forced herself to keep her eyes fixated on Luan. Luan growled and snarled in frustration, but she made no move to actually strike. The lingering effects of the crash made both of them reluctant to engage, and so both of them remained in place. Eventually Luan began crawling to the side, to which Lori responded by turning in place. This slow circling carried on for several minutes, with each of them occasionally making false swipes at the air to goad the other into action.
Luan was the one who finally broke the stalemate by steadily rising onto two legs while sticking her hand into the back of her crusty, saggy diaper. After swishing around in it for a few seconds, out popped a brown, slimy hand clutching a large glob of gristly shit. Lori gagged and averted her eyes from the scene, as well as the pungent projectile that was now hurtling right at her. The turd hit its mark directly, exploding onto Lori’s facemask and completely coating it with a viscous, brown film that rendered her completely blind. Before she could even bring a hand to her face, a blow to the gut forced all the breath out of her body in one high pitched gasp. She stumbled from the hit and fell onto her back, still completely blind to her surroundings and to the seething beast that had just crawled on top of her.
Luan’s teeth bit into Lori’s sleeve and she began shaking her head wildly in an attempt to tear through the rubbery suit. No matter how desperately she bit and scratched, the thick material was more than enough to withstand her. Lori’s head continued to spin as air gradually flowed back into her deflated lungs, all while silently thanking Lisa for insisting that she wear the suit. While Luan continued her futile assault, Lori regained just enough of her strength and aimed a knee directly into Luan’s padded crotch. Luan gasped, releasing the sleeve from her mouth, and Lori followed up by shoving her to the side. Flipping onto her front, Lori clawed her way over the gnarled grass to make some distance between her and Luan, all while trying her best to wipe the excrement off her mask. She managed to get most of it off, but her mask was still smeared with a faint, greasy residue that tinted her field of vision brown.
A low, guttural chuckle caused Lori to spin around to her right side. Luan had righted herself and was gently swaying from side to side, as if the wind was attempting to knock her back down. Her hand plunged into her diaper once more and she sneered at Lori. “It’s okay if youwe scawed pantswess of me, Lowi. Youwe gonna onwy need a diapee once I’m done wiff you.” Her hand continued to worm and grope inside of her diaper while she heaved and panted in ecstatic anticipation. She seemed so excited that, if it wasn’t already obvious what she was up to, Lori would’ve sworn that she was pleasuring herself.
Lori leapt on top of her discarded club just as Luan pulled out the second mass of gooey feces; she had barely enough time to stand back up before it was soaring towards her face again. With a forceful grunt, Lori swung the club in a wide arc in front of herself. It felt a little off to swing so high in the air, the motion felt more like baseball than golf, but she had somehow managed to strike her target. The projectile burst into a chocolaty shower that sprayed the surrounding grass and trees, coating everything within radius in foul, chunky fallout. Some of the goopy shrapnel also ricocheted back towards the one who threw it, spattering across Luan’s face and eyes. Luan screeched from the burning sensation in her eyes, falling to the ground and flailing her arms in her attempts to wipe her own filth off her face. Lori immediately recognized the opportunity and took long strides to close the gap between her and Luan. She straightened her back, kept her legs a fair distance apart, and raised her club high above her head while intently staring at Luan’s thrashing head. That earlier swing was pure luck, but now she’d get to show off a proper drive.
“Fore!” The club sliced through the air and struck the side of Luan’s head, silencing her screams and sending her splayed out onto the forest floor. The impact left a sizeable gash on Luan’s temple that was already seeping out fresh blood. Luan lay face down on the ground, her previously jerking limbs now spread out beside her. When a brief convulsion rocked her body against the dirt, Lori was swift to move in close and jump on top of her. With an anguished scream, she hefted her club and began repeatedly striking the back of Luan’s head. The first few swings carved a small indent at the base of her skull, but the awkward angle made it so that most of the swings were merely glancing off the sides of her head and plowing into the dirt. Lori didn’t care, she kept swinging until the flesh began to tear and she could feel the crunch of bone underneath her club. Aiming became even more difficult when the heat from her tears started to fog her mask, in addition to the spatters of blood that shot up towards her and stained her vision with red speckles. However, the whistle of the club, the wet mashing of flesh and bone, and the splash of blood against her rubber suit were all still able to serve as audible clues to her blind carnage.
“Lori, for God’s sake! That’s enough!” Lori’s onslaught was halted by the unexpected sound of Lisa’s voice. Unbridled anger continued to surge through her body and caused her limbs to tremble, but Lori forced a hand to wipe the blood off her mask and look upon the damage she caused. The back of Luan’s head resembled a pulpy, bloody plate of raw meat. Globs of blood and tiny pieces of bone coated the head of Lori’s club, some of them tangled with strands of wiry, brown hair. Lori threw it to the side in disgust and turned Luan’s head over to look at her face. Slack-jawed and smudged with dirt, blood, and her own waste, it looked as if she was hardly conscious for most of the beating. Lori looked into Luan’s upturned eyes, one of which tinted pink with blood, and clenched her eyelids shut to prevent more tears from spilling out. Try as she might, she still found it difficult to separate the monster from the sibling in these moments.
Lori felt a small hand touch her back and she turned to see Lisa looking at her morosely. “You completed your task admirably, albeit grisly. I doubt anyone would argue she deserved a more dignified end.” Lori wasn’t sure what to say in response to that. Another thing she’d probably never get used to is how this four year old can be so stoic with a dead body just mere inches away from her.
The stillness in the action made both girls gradually aware that there was a quiet sound of crying coming from the van. Leni, having been trapped inside her seat since the van crashed, had been crying for help the entire time Lori and Luan were fighting. Her puffy, tear-drenched eyes turned to Lori as she walked towards the van, and she redoubled the sound of her wails to grab her sister’s attention. “Lowi! Weni ascawed! Me want out!” Lori regarded her bawling sister coolly. Even though this was the part where she thought she’d be the most emotional, the ordeal with Luan left her feeling cold and drained. This day couldn’t end soon enough; she just wanted this girl as dead as the last one.
Sensing Lori’s frustration, Lisa scampered off to the back of the van and retrieved her bag. She then handed it to Lori, who flipped open one of the pockets to reveal a set of scalpels and other handheld tools. Lori grabbed the largest one she could find and went back to help Leni out of the van. The safety bar creaked and the nylon belts whistled as Lori freed Leni and carried her outside. Leni instinctively held onto Lori in a vice-like embrace, sobbing into her shoulder and blubbering a mix of baby talk and incomprehensible gibberish. Lori nearly spun around while struggling under the weight of someone that was nearly the same size as her before kneeling down and holding Leni close. With one hand placed on Leni’s back and rubbing it comfortingly, the other held onto the scalpel. Leni’s cries of sadness briefly spiked into a screech of pain as the blade pierced directly into her jugular and carved along her entire neck. Lori held the writhing girl firmly in her grasp, keeping the scalpel buried deep into her flesh as the sobs began to weaken, becoming quieter, breathier, and achingly desperate. Soon all that was left was a series of whimpers as Leni tightened her grip onto Lori, and then even those faded away into the cool, forest breeze.
Once Leni was completely still, Lori hoisted her body over her head so that she would be draped over her shoulders. She then went around to the back of the van and picked up the two shovels. Lisa holstered her bag of supplies and took hold of Luan’s corpse, dragging it behind her as she led the way into the thick of trees. Lori lagged behind her and the two began their search for an appropriate burial spot for their sisters. The faint orange of the dusk sky offered meager light as they ventured deeper into the woods; they needed to ensure this would be far away from even the most curious woodsman.
As the darkness began to settle in, they finally found a small clearing that was partially enclosed by a dense circle of trees. Disencumbering themselves of their heavy loads, the two got to work digging a hole. It was fortunate that Lisa had the foresight to bring a small, battery-powered lantern in her bag; it had gotten so dark at this point that they would’ve had trouble seeing the ground in front of them without it. The hole wasn’t very deep by the time both of them grew tired of digging, but Lisa assured Lori that it wouldn’t matter after the preparations were made. After unceremoniously dumping the bodies, Lisa unscrewed the top off a thermos-sized canister and poured a heaping of a white, powdery substance on top of the bodies. Lori forgot what Lisa said the compound’s chemical name was, but she did know that the powder was supposedly caustic enough to break down organic tissue over the course of several hours.
After the dirt was shoveled onto the bodies, they hastily began stomping it down to make the scene look as undisturbed as it was when they first arrived. It was hard to tell if it was convincing enough, even with the light of the lantern, but both of them relented that those two didn’t deserve the effort. Lori picked up the lantern and surveyed the scene one last time before shining it at Lisa, who was already zipping up her bag and preparing for the long walk back to the van.
“I guess this is it, then. Do you really think it’ll work?”
Lisa yawned and tightened the strap of her bag around her shoulder. “If this doesn’t stop the spread of the disease, nothing will.”
“Okay, but what are we going to tell everyone when we come back? How are we gonna explain what happened to Vanzilla?”
“Tell them the truth. Luan woke up and caused us to crash. Afterwards, we called a tow service that was generous enough to also drop Luan and Leni off at their new permanent home. I doubt anyone will be so concerned as to investigate much further than that.”
Lori grimaced and shot a brief glance at the grave. Permanent home, indeed. “Why is that, though? Why is everyone so clueless as to what’s going on? Like, Lisa, I can’t literally be the only one who’s weirded out by this, right? We’ve had literal family members vanish from existence and nobody bats an eye! I mean, you’d think that someone would’ve at least noticed one of the literal hundreds of pictures we have around the house, noticed the extra kids, and realized something was wrong.
“If I had an answer for all those questions, do you not think I would have already told you by now?”
“Humor me, then. What’s your best scientific guess?”
“I would say that the simplest explanation warrants mentioning. Grief is a powerful thing, maybe more powerful than we realize. Perhaps everyone knew deep down that something was amiss, that our dear infant sister was gone and that the only male child was suddenly acting in her place. Perhaps they simply chose not to acknowledge it, rather than come to terms with the ugly truth. When Luna, Luan, and Leni followed, the façade continued, even though everyone was suffering internally. The lie offered protection, but it was closing in on them, and nobody wanted to be the first to admit it.”
There was a pause. Nothing else but the breeze that gently rustled the leaves filled the space between the sisters. Hidden behind the respirator, Lori’s lips were curled into an indignant scowl. Grief? Those “babies” were the ones giving her grief! “Coming from a genius like you, that sounds like literal bullshit, Lisa. I know you have a better answer than that, and we aren’t leaving this spot until you tell me.”
Lisa heaved a long, exaggerated groan while throwing her arms up in the air for effect. “Curse me for selecting such a nosy, persistent subject! I should have used Luna instead back when I had the chance. At least she would’ve followed directions without asking so many brain-dead questions!”
Lori’s eyelids stretched back as far they could go. She didn’t expect Lisa to give in so quickly. “S-Subject?”
“Yes, Lori, a subject. I myself prefer the term ‘guinea pig,’ but the scientific community frowns upon such terminology when applied to fellow humans. In any case, the experiment has concluded, so I might as well humor you and state the facts.”
“Experiment? Wha… What the fuck are you talking about!?”
“Please settle down, profanity doesn’t suit you. Remember the day of Aunt Ruth’s funeral when I told you that you play an entirely separate role in my research? In a way, that was a half-truth. I was making the impression that I was studying our infected siblings, but the true focus was entirely on you, Lori. You were the basis of my experiment, which was to observe how the human psyche reacts when placed under extreme duress, paranoia, and isolation. I initially hypothesized that your sanity would crumble after the first month of dealing with Lincoln, but for a teenage girl that only cares about phones and boys, your mind endured even more than I thought possible.”
Lori clutched her stomach while Lisa spoke. She always knew that Lisa was hiding more than she was letting on, but to actually hear all this was sickening. “So… So you were really the cause of all this? You turned Lincoln and the others into those… things?”
Lisa shook her head. “If I had actually created a virus with the degenerative properties as the one that infected our siblings, why would I have wasted my time with experimenting on you? No, I found him in Lily’s crib before you had even risen from your slumber. The sight was horrifying, but simultaneously inspiring. What if I could somehow convince the others that Lincoln was the family’s baby all along and that Lily never existed? It was still early morning at this point, so I had plenty of time to put a plan into action. It was all very simple, really. I whipped up a benign neurotoxin that targets the temporal lobe, weakening the connection to long-term memories. Introducing that into the morning’s coffee was all it took for everyone to forget Lily’s existence. Daily dosages via mealtimes also helped keep everyone in perpetual ignorance, even in the face of concrete evidence such as photographs.”
“Daily dosages? How were you able to-”
“I’ve told you before that I’ve assisted Father with his cooking every day, correct?”
“But what about everyone else? At Thanksgiving, the funeral, even Bobby… you never poisoned any of them.”
“No need. In a family as large as ours, can you really expect anyone outside our immediate household to keep track of what the baby looks like? Also, I find your usage of ‘poisoned’ to be incredibly disingenuous. The compound has never caused any harm to anyone.”
“What do you mean never caused any harm? People have literally died, Lisa! Our siblings, your own family, are dead because of you!”
“Ah, but those deaths were not because of me. I don’t have the stomach for siblicide, you see. No, their deaths were by your hand, my wondrous test subject. The feeling of isolation from your family and from reality itself forced you to commit the unthinkable. But never you worry, with all the research I’ve collected, our names will be immortalized in the scientific community. Your brain will no doubt be a staple in future psychology texts and we will be living on easy street for the rest of our lives. I hope you agree that this entire, grisly ordeal was a small price to pay for the name of scien-”
Lisa’s sentence was cut off by an abrupt gag as the tip of Lori’s foot dug into her gut. The force of the kick sent her tumbling backwards until she crashed into a tree. As she lay there coughing for fresh air, she was powerless to stop Lori’s fingers from constricting her throat.
“You lying, sneaky, gas lighting little worm! I’m literally going to-”
“Do what? Kill me? Am I to become the latest addition to your body count?”
Lori cringed, but her grip remained firm. “Don’t try to guilt me. What choice do I even have? You’re a threat to the whole family.”
Lisa snorted. “I already have all the data I need. What possible reason would I have to further this experiment?”
“Maybe not this one, but what about the next? How do I know you won’t use one of us as your next ‘guinea pig?’”
Hot globules of sweat started trickling down Lisa’s forehead. “Look, Lori, we’ve been in this situation before. You’ll just have to put your trust in me once more. The disease is gone for good, the family is safe, and I can promise you a bright future of notoriety and potential grant money. Release me, please.”
It was never easy to look past Lisa’s stoic demeanor and figure out her true intentions, but Lori was determined to try. The fog inside her mask caused by the sweat on her brow was a clear sign of her fear, but Lori also noticed how tight her lips were drawn out and how her eyes frequently darted to the sides, as if searching for a way to escape. The rat had been caught, and Lori had an idea of how she wanted to deal with it. With her free hand, she ripped off Lisa’s facemask and respirator before wiping off some of the gunk off her own mask. The medley of dried blood and shit stained her gloved fingers with brownish-black crust. Lisa’s struggles against Lori’s hold only intensified once she realized what her older sister was up to.
“For sanity’s sake, Lori, have a heart!” The toddler kicked against the tree and shook her head from side to side, all while her eyes remained glued to Lori’s soiled hand. “You can kill me if you so desire, but don’t subject me to that fate before you do! I beg you!”
Lori’s fingers idly wriggled as she continued to watch Lisa’s failed efforts to break free. Not wanting to let this go on any longer, she finally forced her fingers into Lisa’s mouth. Spreading them out as far as they could to expand the opening, she began by rubbing her slimy digits along the sides and roof of the mouth. Her index finger wedged itself between Lisa’s lips and her top row of teeth while her thumb forced down her tongue so that she could coat every single taste bud with filth.
Lisa’s strangled, hysteric screams were distorted as they reverberated out of her gaping jaws. Her tiny hands clenched onto Lori’s in a desperate attempt to pull it out of her mouth, but it refused to budge. Lori solemnly continued her work, all while trying to avoid looking at the pure horror reflected within Lisa’s eyes. It didn’t take much longer before Lisa’s thrashing limbs finally fell limp and her screams gave way to silence. The small girl’s pupils shrunk while her jaw fell limp in Lori’s grip. Lori took her now trembling hand out of Lisa’s mouth and reached for the bag while her sister thrashed against the tree. Taking out another scalpel, she pressed the tip of the blade against Lisa’s throat just as the young girl seemed to be regaining awareness.
“Haaaaah, hi Lowi!” Lisa’s lips curled into a toothy grin and she raised a flaccid arm in what looked like an attempt to reach for Lori’s face. Her glasses magnified her already dilated pupils to the point where it looked to Lori like she was peering into two black holes. Frothy drool seeped from the edges of her mouth, which she wrapped around one of the fingers still clenched around her throat. Burbling absent-mindedly to herself, she sucked and gnawed on the gloved digit all while oblivious to the shivering knife mere inches away from her neck. It was startling and a little bittersweet to see her fall to the same fate as the others so quickly; a part of Lori thought that maybe Lisa’s brain would’ve been sound enough to resist most of the effects, at least for a while. It was probably best for Lori to finish this quickly; not even Lisa deserved to remain like this for too long.
With little hesitation, Lori stuck the blade into Lisa’s throat and sliced it from vein to vein. Lisa sputtered and choked as a spray of blood shot out and drenched Lori’s facemask. The hand around her neck clenched harder, forcing more blood to gush out and spill onto the dirt below. Wheezing pitifully, it only took a few seconds for Lisa’s body to fall completely limp against the tree behind her. Lori dropped the scalpel and wiped the blood away from her eyes. Looking upon her work immediately caused her to drop the blood-drenched, wide-eyed toddler onto the puddle of her own blood. Her stomach twisted into knots as she looked into the permanent expression of confusion and fear plastered on her sister’s face, so she quickly turned away in search of her shovel.
Lori didn’t have to spend too much time digging; she only shoveled away just enough dirt to nestle Lisa in between Leni and Luan’s corpses. She dumped the rest of Lisa’s powder onto the body for good measure before covering the spot with dirt as if nothing had happened. After giving the grave one final, lingering look, she picked up the shovels, Lisa’s bag, and the lantern before beginning her slogging trek out of the woods. Thankfully, Lisa’s GPS was stowed away in the bag, so Lori was able to use it to find her way back; it was a shame that she wouldn’t be able to thank her for that.
Once she finally reached the van, she peeled off her bulky hazmat suit and tossed it in the trunk along with everything else. She immediately regretted the fact that she didn’t think to bring a jacket along once the nighttime chill made contact with her clammy, sweaty flesh. Not even Vanzilla’s interior could offer much shield against the cold once she got inside. At least she could turn the heater on once she started the car, but the ignition only grinded and sputtered in protest when she turned the key. The crash had done a number on the already ailing engine; it would take some sort of mechanic wizard to get it to start. Grumbling to herself, she took out her phone to call a tow service, who told her that they’d arrive in about ten minutes.
Save for the outside ambience of chirping birds and insects, the minutes passed by in near silence. Lori tried getting comfortable on the springy, crusty seats as her racing mind settled down and tried making sense of what the future had in store now. The others would no doubt have a bunch of questions for her when she got home. She figured she’d follow Lisa’s advice for explaining the crash, but what about Lisa herself? Perhaps she could fabricate an excuse that Lisa went to live with Luan and Leni as a sort of guardian to make sure they’re okay in their new home. What she was really banking on was the possibility that Lisa would end up forgotten just like the others. That drug in all their systems could make them forget anything, but without Lisa constantly doping them up, how long would the effects last? Would those memories be permanently severed, or would a day come about where everyone becomes all at once aware that their family is inexplicably short six members?
The high-pitched chimes of the tow truck knocked Lori out of her respite. Lori sighed and watched the truck through the rearview mirror, which soon became engulfed in a brilliant red shine as the truck’s taillights drew closer. With any luck, the driver would have her back home before anyone else woke up, which would give her some time to rest without dealing with any questions. And with the house now and forever free of babies, she could bet that her rest would be long, undisturbed, and well deserved.
- 5
- 6
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Widdle Wouds: Wesolution