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The Miss Cutie Patootie Pageant	By : GeorgeGlass Category: +G through L > The Loud House Views: 35718 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own the Loud House or its characters. I made no money writing this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
Chapter 6: Miss Cutie Patootie 2018
It was after ten o’clock in the morning when Lincoln awoke. He might have slept even longer if it hadn’t been for the shrill whine of Lola’s hair dryer.
“Morning, sleepyhead,” Leni said. Then she held out a small paper bag and a plastic cup with something opaque and yellow in it. “Here, I got you a bagel and a mango smoothie.”
He smiled weakly. “Thanks, Leni.”
His stomach growled, and suddenly he was glad that breakfast was close at hand. It made sense—he had probably burned a bazillion calories last night.
By the time the five Loud children finished eating their breakfast and getting dressed, the hour had come for the contestants to assemble in the auditorium. Lincoln walked Lola-as-Suzi down there, accompanied by Suzi’s entourage: her costume mistress, her bodyguard and coach, and her set dresser. As she had the day before, Lana was looking extra greasy and disheveled to hide her resemblance to her twin sister.
When they reached the auditorium, the four girls went backstage while Lincoln headed up to the front row to sit with the other judges. Most of them were drinking coffee and appeared to be as tired as Lincoln felt. But none of them looked unhappy.
“So, everyone have their ‘Overall charm’ scores written down?” Brad Bradford asked suggestively.
“Yep,” Pops Gonzalez replied. “You’re gonna have to excuse my handwriting, though; after Suzi Spice came by my room last night, I could barely move. That girl’s an animal!” He was clearly not complaining.
“Really?” Octavio replied. “I thought she was quite the little lady.”
“She’s, um, multifaceted,” Lincoln cut in, trying to nip this conversation in the bud.
“Can you imagine,” Brad Bradford asked, “if Daisy Darling were here, too? I’d probably need a bellhop to bring me to the auditorium on a luggage cart.”
The auditorium soon filled up, and the air was filled with the chatter of excited spectators, talking about their favorite moments from the first half of the competition and speculating about what they would see next, and who would win. Then the house lights dimmed, and Misty Mako, dressed in a diaphanous blue gown that sparkled here and there, strode out from behind the curtain, smiling and waving at the onlookers as she approached center stage with a microphone in hand. Lincoln, remembering his previous pageant-coaching experiences, supposed that a lapel mic would have dimmed the glamor of her dress.
“Welcome back, everyone!” she called. “This afternoon, we have the last two events of the Miss Cutie Patootie Pageant: the swimsuit competition-” Misty paused as whistles and shouts went up from the crowd “-and the talent competition. And we’ll cap it all off with the crowning of Miss Cutie Patootie 2018! So stay in your seats, because you don’t want to miss a minute of what’s coming up!”
Misty put her mic on a stand and went backstage. There was much anticipatory chatter amongst the crowd. Then, a couple of minutes later, Misty reappeared.
“And now, the girls of the 2018 Miss Cutie Patootie Pageant, showing off their finest swimwear!” Misty moved back and to the left, leaving the stage clear for the contestants.
Polly Prancer came out onto the stage and cartwheeled past the judges in a shiny green two-piece that nicely showed off her trim midriff. Gazing appreciatively at Polly, Lincoln decided that he would no longer rely on audience reaction to determine his scores. He had Herb Spice for that now.
Once Polly had moved back to stand by Misty, Kimmy Cuddle appeared from stage right, wearing a red one-piece; red was a particularly flattering color on her, Lincoln had noticed. The suit seemed modest until Kimmy reached the front of the stage and turned sharply around like a runway model, thereby showing off the suit’s thong bottom and Kimmy’s lovely little ass. The audience whistled and cheered as Kimmy sashayed to the rear of the stage to stand by Polly and Misty.
Cat Wylde emerged in a tight leopard-print tankini, making cat-like clawing gestures at the audience. When she turned around, her bikini bottom revealed her henna tramp stamp and about half an inch of butt-cleavage. Then Cat strutted over to her place in line.
Sadie Godiva, smiling and waving to the crowd as she came onstage, wore a jewel-blue string bikini that, predictably, revealed as much skin as possible. Once she reached the footlights, she spun around, momentarily shook her booty (which was covered only by a skinny blue triangle of fabric), and gave herself a playful spank on the ass before falling into line.
When Suzi Spice sashayed onto the stage, Herb saw only her—not Lola Loud. Suzi looked glamorous in a sparkly pink wrap. Upon reaching center stage, she removed the wrap with a flourish, revealing a little pink tube-top bikini of stretchy fabric. Suzi then turned around to walk back to the line of girls, showing how her bikini bottom, although seemingly modest in the amount of skin that it covered, clung revealingly to the curves of her cute little ass.
Then came Lolly Pop. She slinked across the stage in a black pretzel-style swimsuit that displayed her tan, toned body. Lolly gave the audience plenty of flirtatious, I’m-so-sexy attitude before she went and stood with the other contestants.
Last came Minnie Barr, who tottered adorably past the judges in a frilly red one-piece with white polka dots and a heart-shaped keyhole on the chest. Lincoln found the keyhole sweetly sexy, even though Minnie had no cleavage to show through it. Or maybe because of that, he thought as Minnie took her place in the line of girls.
“Aren’t they beautiful?” Misty called, sweeping her arm across the line of contestants. “Let’s give them all a big hand!”
The audience gave the girls more than a hand—the hoots, cheers, and catcalls were raucous. The girls all smiled and waved at the crowd while posing and posturing to give everyone one last look at their lovely young bodies and flattering swimwear before they filed off the stage.
“Up next,” Misty announced, “we have the final round of this year’s pageant: the talent competition. We’ll get started in ten minutes, so don’t go away!”
Lincoln now wrote down his scores for the swimsuit competition. Despite his personal feelings regarding Lolly Pop, he had to admit that she’d looked sexy in that black pretzel suit, and he scored her accordingly. Of course, some of the other girls had earned good scores, too: for their suits, how the girls looked in them, and the attitude the girls had shown while sporting their swimwear. They all seemed to be at the top of their game today—except maybe Cat Wylde, who was making maximum effort but still looked a bit tired.
By the time Lincoln finished his scoring, went out to the lobby, grabbed a bottle of water, and returned to his seat, the house lights were dimming again. Misty reappeared on the stage.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” she announced, “we’ve come to the final competition of the 2018 Miss Cutie Patootie Pageant. It’s time for all our lovely little ladies to show us their talent!”
The crowd cheered, and Misty continued, “First up, we have an act that’s sure to appeal to the animal in you: Minnie Barr and her dog, Brick!”
The crowd cheered again as Minnie ambled onto the stage, wearing a short, frilly pink skirt and a lapel mic. She was followed closely by a sheepdog that looked to be almost half again Minnie’s size. Behind them, a stagehand rolled a wooden crate of props onto the stage.
“Hi,” Minnie said adorably as she waved at the crowd. “This is Brick. He’s my dog, and I love him.” Smiling, she gave the shaggy dog a big hug, making the audience go “Awwww.”
Minnie let go of the dog and said, “I taught Brick some tricks. Watch.”
She reached into the wooden crate and pulled out a ribbon on a stick. The ribbon was a bit shorter than the ones typically used for a ribbon dance.
“Spin, Brick!” Minnie said. She spun around twice, twirling the ribbon around with her and making her skirt twirl as well, such that it rose up to expose the girl’s frilly white panties. As soon as Minnie stopped spinning, the dog got up on its hind legs and twirled around, too, eliciting applause from the audience.
“Again! Spin, Brick!” the girl commanded. She twirled around again, and the dog did the same.
“One more time!” the girl called.
Minnie spun around again, but this time, Brick didn’t simply watch and repeat. Instead, when Minnie’s skirt flew up with her rotation, the dog leaped up and thrust its nose right into Minnie’s exposed crotch.
“Naughty dog!” Minnie shouted, stumbling backward. The dog put its head on the floor, looking chastened.
“Let’s do a different trick,” Minnie said.
She turned around to put the ribbon-stick back into the crate—whereupon the dog immediately got up, came up behind her, and shoved his snout up the back of her skirt. Minnie yelped and comically fell forward so that she hung helplessly over the edge of the crate. The crowd hooted.
“Brick!” Minnie shouted as the dog continued to thrust its snout against her nethers. “Stop that right now!”
The dog backed away, hanging its head. Minnie awkwardly climbed off the edge of the crate.
“Fine!” the girl said with mock indignance. “Brick, you get the next toy out of the crate.”
The dog walked up and put its head in the crate, looking for a toy. Then it pulled out a buzzing white plastic vibrator. Minnie put her hands to her face in embarrassment.
“Brick!” the girl scolded. “I meant get one of your toys!” The audience hooted.
The dog again put its head down contritely.
“Okay,” Minnie sighed, “let’s try a trick that doesn’t need toys.”
The girl turned sideways to the audience and got down on her hands and knees, facing stage right. The dog trotted around toward the back of the stage.
“Okay, Brick!” Minnie shouted. “Jump!”
The dog sprinted forward and leaped over Minnie’s back. The audience applauded.
“Good boy, Brick!” Minnie said. “Now, the long way!”
Brick circled around to stage left so that he was several feet behind Minnie.
“Jump!” Minnie called.
The dog ran up and leaped over the girl from behind, landing a few feet in front of her face. The audience applauded again.
“Good boy!” Minnie said. “Once more!” The dog circled around behind Minnie again.
“C’mon, Brick!” the girl called.
This time, the big dog took less of a running start. And instead of leaping over Minnie, he leaped onto the girl’s back and began dry-humping her little ass like mad. The audience went berserk with hollers and whistles. Minnie struggled, seemingly helpless to get the humping dog off of her.
“Brick!” Minnie finally cried. “Naughty boy!”
The dog climbed off of her, and Minnie stood up and took a bow. The audience cheered and clapped loudly as Minnie and Brick left the stage and Misty Mako returned.
“Wow!” Misty said. “What a naughty dog!” Then she looked offstage and faux-whispered, “Minnie, can I borrow him sometime?” The audience laughed.
“Next up,” Misty continued, “we have Sadie Godiva, who’s going to sing us a siren song.”
Sadie came onto the stage wearing a long, ocean-blue dress with sequins that sparkled in the stage lights. She also had on high heels and a pair of elbow-length white gloves, as well as deep-red lipstick and blue eyeshadow. Lincoln was momentarily surprised to see the famously exhibitionistic Sadie wearing so much clothing, but then he remembered her visit the night before and realized that there was probably going to be more to this act than just a vocal performance.
Sadie winked at the crowd and, microphone in hand, began to sing “Do Me Right,” a song famously performed by Julie Bunny in the animation/live-action crossover movie Who Betrayed Billy Bunny? Then, to absolutely no one’s surprise but to a fair amount of whistling from the audience, Sadie reached back, unzipped her dress, and let it drop, revealing a blue bustier and matching lacy boyshorts. Of course, that wasn’t the end of it; as she continued singing, Sadie slowly undid the bustier (eliciting shouts of anticipation from the audience) and revealed a pair of sparkly pasties underneath. Finally, just as she sang the last note, she slid down the boyshorts to uncover thong-bikini panties that were scarcely more than a blue string. When the girl blew the audience a kiss and turned to leave the stage, everyone got a nice view of what Lincoln estimated was ninety-five percent of the girl’s round, white ass.
Next up was Kimmy Cuddle, who emerged onto the stage in a red bikini. The audience watched curiously and appreciatively as a mustachioed black man, who Lincoln guessed was related to Kimmy (at least in an “uncle” sort of way), restrained Kimmy by multiple means: She was blindfolded, bound up with ropes that held her arms to her sides, and ball-gagged for good measure. Then a pair of stagehands wheeled a large water tank onto the stage, and the big man who had tied Kimmy up threw her over his shoulder like a fireman, carried her up a ladder, and dropped her into the tank.
As it turned out, the supremely flexible Kimmy was able to work one of her arms free and then untie the ropes and blindfold. Once she swam to the surface, she removed the ball gag and pulled herself up to stand on the edge of the tank. For a final bit of excitement, she fell backwards off the edge—into the arms of her big helper.
The big man put her on the floor, and the girl struck a ta-da pose with both arms in the air. Everybody got a good look at the soaking-wet girl, whose nipples were visibly hardened by the cold water and her excitement. As the audience applauded vigorously, Kimmy put her hands to her solar plexus and took a bow to each side (allowing a glimpse of her ass sticking out to each side of the room) before taking her helper-uncle's hand to be escorted offstage.
Lolly Pop was up next. She strode confidently onto the stage wearing what could only be described as a dominatrix costume: a black corset that laced down the back, tight black leather shorts, and a black garter belt that supported a pair of fishnet stockings. Completing the ensemble was a coiled brown leather bullwhip that hung from Lolly’s hip.
Another girl then emerged onto the stage. Lincoln didn’t recognize her. Her skin tone was similar to Lolly’s, but she had a few freckles on her face, and her black hair was tied into pigtails with blue ribbons. She wore a white blouse with four large, black buttons, a knee-length plaid skirt with another such button on the front, and black patent-leather shoes with white socks. Whereas Lolly exuded confidence, this girl looked shy and nervous.
Lolly grabbed the mic that Misty had left on its stand and announced, “This is my neighbor Blanca. She’s going to be helping me with my act today.” Blanca gave the audience a feeble smile and a wave.
When Lolly pointed to a spot just to the right of center stage, Blanca went over and stood there, facing Lolly. Lolly put back the mic and took the bullwhip from her belt. She swung it in a great circle above her head, then accelerated the swing and cracked the whip once, then twice. The audience murmured, curious what Lolly was going to do with this cruel implement.
Lolly moved to a spot about ten feet from Blanca, such that the center of the stage was directly between the two girls. Then Lolly circled the whip above her head—once, twice, three times—then snapped it, making Blanca squeeze her eyes shut. The top button of Blanca’s blouse flew off, and the audience cheered. Lolly raised her arms in triumph.
She snapped the whip again, this time targeting the bottom button of Blanca’s blouse. Blanca’s eyes briefly shut, but the girl did not move as the button flew off. The audience cheered again.
Again, Lolly circled the whip and snapped it, a bit harder this time. A third blouse-button flew off in pieces, revealing a sliver of Blanca’s midriff, and the crowd applauded.
Now, only one button held Blanca’s blouse closed, and Lolly was slow and theatrical as she wound up to snap the whip again. She circled the whip above her head faster and faster, the crowd murmuring in anticipation.
Then she snapped the whip, and Lincoln could hear a stifled yelp from Blanca as the last button on her blouse shattered and the garment fell open, revealing the white training bra underneath. The audience’s excitement at the sight was muted by the reddening three-inch welt on the girl’s skin, right below the bra, where the last blouse-button had been. Lolly had grazed her, and Lincoln imagined that had to sting something fierce.
Lolly’s eyes narrowed at the sight of the lesion. Then she thrashed the whip around in circles, glaring at her intended target: the button on the front of Blanca’s skirt.
But just as Lolly snapped the whip, Blanca flinched, moving her beltline an inch out of the whip’s reach. Angrily, Lolly drew back the whip to try again, and Blanca turned and ran off into the wings. Lolly stared after her for a moment, disbelieving, then hurled the whip to the floor and stalked off stage.
Last night must have taken a toll on her, Lincoln thought. And I guess using a whip isn’t exactly a snap.
Inner Luan, I will take a power drill to my own head if you don’t-
“Moving on,” said Misty Mako, interrupting Lincoln’s train of thought as she re-emerged onto the stage, “'we have Suzi Spice, who will perform an act she calls”—her voice dropped to nearly a whisper—‘The Magic Mirror.’”
The audience clapped politely. Then the house lights went down, and a couple of stagehands clad in black wheeled something tall and oval-shaped, covered in a white sheet, out to center stage, where they left it. One of them snatched up Lolly’s dropped bullwhip on the way out.
Some music started—a childish tune in the vein of “Pop Goes the Weasel,” with a rhythm suitable for skipping. And sure enough, from stage right, Lola came skipping onto the stage, a spotlight following her. She wore a pink button-down blouse, a flowing pink skirt that came down to the knee, and pink slippers. It was all very age-appropriate, but Lincoln was sure that wouldn’t last.
Lola skipped in time to the music, flouncing childishly but with perfect rhythm, before coming to a stop in front of the sheet-covered object. She took hold of a corner of the sheet and pulled it off, revealing a wood-framed oval mirror large enough to show Lola in full length.
For several seconds, the little blonde girl looked at her reflection, tilting her head this way and that and making faces at herself. A few audience members chuckled at her adorable antics.
Then the childish tune faded out, and a new song began. It had a heavy beat and a sensuous melody played on a Spanish guitar.
As this music played, Lola twirled and looked back over her shoulder at her reflection—even as Lola unbuttoned the top button of her pink blouse. The audience murmured approvingly.
While Lola’s left arm snaked sinuously in the air like a belly dancer’s, her right hand dexterously unbuttoned another button, then another, then another, all in time to the music. Then Lola turned to face the mirror, and with a dramatic upward sweep of her arms, she pulled off her top and hurled it into the air and away.
In removing her blouse, Lola revealed a sheer white camisole top that showed off her torso in considerable detail. But what made the audience go “Oooooh” was that Lola’s reflection in the mirror was wearing the same top—but in black.
Lola continued to dance, twirling around so that the audience could see all sides of her, and those of her reflection. Then she turned sideways to the audience and slowly pushed down her flowy pink skirt. Underneath, she was wearing lacy white panties that showed off her little bottom to great effect. And again, her reflection was wearing the same thing, but in black.
Lola’s dancing became decidedly flirtatious. She winked at herself in the mirror, then ran her hands over her body as though showing it off to her reflection. The little points of her nipples were clearly defined under the sheer camisole; Lola casually fingered them before moving her hands down over her stomach and thighs. The audience hooted and howled, and it was clear to Lincoln that their enjoyment was enhanced by being able to see this action from both the front and the back, thanks to the mirror.
Lola came close to the mirror and bent toward it, bowing her back to give the audience a good view of her cute little ass. Then, coming nose-to-nose with her reflection, Lola gave it a slow, sensuous kiss on the lips. They straightened up, and their bodies pressed together, their erect nipples touching, but it was never completely clear whether Lola was kissing another girl or the surface of a mirror.
They ended the kiss and winked at each other, and the stage lights went black.
The whole audience rose to its feet, and their applause was thunderous. It was the strongest reaction Lincoln had seen since the pageant began, and that was saying something.
Polly Prancer followed with a well-executed balance-beam act, after which Cat Wylde performed stunts on a small motorbike. But by that point, it was already clear who had won the talent competition.
***
There was a twenty-minute intermission while the judges conferred. Lola changed back into the same gown she had worn for the Q & A event the previous day. Then, doing her damnedest to keep her nerves steady and a smile on her face, she filed onto the stage with the other contestants. Misty was back in front of the mic.
“And now,” Misty Mako called, “it’s time to announce the winner of this year’s Miss Cutie Patootie Pageant! May I have the envelope, please?”
Brad Bradford came up onto the stage and handed Misty a sealed envelope. Then the man stood beside Misty as she tore the envelope open and read the single sheet of paper inside. She looked up at the audience.
“Ladies and gentlemen, our second runner up is…Lolly Pop!”
Misty hugged the girl, and Brad shook her hand and handed her an envelope. Lola knew there was a check inside, but only for a couple hundred dollars—a far cry from the ten-thousand-dollar grand prize.
Lola could tell that Lolly, who clearly had considered herself the front-runner during most of the competition, was making an effort not to look furious and wasn’t quite succeeding. The other contestants must have noticed it, too, as those who were about to come up and hug Lolly in congratulations backed off when they saw her face.
Misty returned to the mic stand and took up the sheet of paper again. “And now, our first runner-up for Miss Cutie Patootie 2018…Kimmy Cuddle!”
Kimmy beamed with excitement and pride. The other girls—save Lolly—crowded around her, Lola included.
“Congratulations, Kimmy!” Lola exclaimed. “You really earned it!”
The girls moved away from Kimmy so she could accept her award. Then Misty returned to the mic.
“And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you’ve all been waiting for! Our winner, your Miss Cutie Patootie 2018, iiiiiiis…”
Omigosh, Lola thought, it’s me, right? It’s got to be me, or else I didn’t even place! But it could be Polly, or Minnie, or-
“SUZI SPICE!”
Lola couldn’t help it; she jumped up and down, screaming like a lunatic as the other girls—again with the exception of Lolly—crowded and hugged her.
***
Lincoln beamed as he watched Suzi accept the congratulations of the other contestants. He had seen Lola win pageants before, but he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen her as excited by a win as she was now. Despite the sheer wrongness of this pageant and all the crazy things Lola had done to win it, Lincoln couldn’t help but be proud of her. Maybe that was Herb Spice talking.
Being right at the foot of the stage, Lincoln could hear what Misty and Brad were saying as they gave Lola her prize.
“Congratulations, Suzi,” Misty said, hugging the girl. “You were terrific! I hope we’ll see you again next year.”
“I hope so, too,” Brad said, shaking the girl’s hand. “Looks like we’ve got a new Daisy Darling!”
***
When it was over and the auditorium began to clear out, Lincoln went backstage to congratulate Lola. She was in the changing room, and as Lincoln stood outside the door waiting for her, Misty Mako approached him. She was still wearing her diaphanous, sparkly blue gown, which just called that much more attention to her shiny black hair, her deep-brown eyes, and her beautiful teenage body. In this moment, she was all Lincoln could look at or think about.
“Excuse me, Mr. Spice?” she said, seemingly unaware of the effect she was having on him.
As casually as he could manage, Lincoln said, “Oh, hello, Misty. What can I do to- uh, do for you?”
She smiled at him. “Well, I’ve heard nice things about you from some of the girls, and it got me thinking…You know what I miss most about being a contestant in this pageant?”
“Um, what?”
Coyly, Misty replied, “Making the rounds.”
Lincoln’s eyebrows rose. “Oh.”
“I don’t know if you like older girls, but…”
Older? Lincoln thought in a panic. Ohmigosh, she knows I’m a kid! My cover is blown! What am I gonna do?
Then Lincoln remembered what Buck Wylde had said about Herb Spice liking “the older ones,” and Lincoln realized what Misty had actually meant—that she didn’t know whether he liked girls who were older than the prepubescent ones who had competed in the pageant.
“Oh, I like older girls just fine,” he replied with a smile.
“I have late check-out on my room,” Misty said, taking Lincoln’s hand.
“Then let’s go ‘check it out,’” Lincoln replied, and walked with her to the elevators.
Okay, Inner Luan, he thought, you get a pass this time.
***
They entered Misty’s room, and the gorgeous teenager hung out the Do Not Disturb sign.
“Wow, that takes me back,” she said, smiling as she closed the door.
“Happy memories?” Lincoln asked.
“Definitely.”
Lincoln came close to her and put his arms around her waist. Herb Spice was running the show now. “Then let’s make some more.”
They kissed. Misty’s lips tasted wonderful, like peaches and sunshine. Then she pulled back and looked at him with her deep-brown eyes.
“Hey,” she said playfully, “what do you want me to call you?”
“How about ‘Uncle Herb’?” Lincoln replied. “If there’s any girl I’d want to make my honorary niece, it’s you.”
“Aww, that’s so sweet,” Misty said sincerely.
They moved over by the bed, where Misty kissed Lincoln again and began unbuttoning his shirt. Lincoln reached around behind her and unzipped the back of her gown. Misty, not interrupting their kiss, shrugged her shoulders, and the gown fell to the floor, forming a sparkly blue pool around her feet. Now, she wore only a lacy bra-and-panty set that matched the blue of the gown.
Despite all of his sexual experience from the previous night, Lincoln found himself facing a brand-new challenge. He broke off the kiss.
“Um,” Lincoln said as his fingers ran over the clasp of Misty’s bra, “would you, uh, be a dear and undo this for me? My, ah, fingers are tired, from all that scoring.”
He was referring to writing down the contestants’ scores. He didn’t realize his unwitting double entendre until Misty smiled, raised an eyebrow, and said, “I’ll bet.”
She sat down on the edge of the bed, reached back, and undid her bra. Then she pulled it off and tossed it onto a chair, baring her breasts to Lincoln’s gaze. They were small and extremely perky, the little brown nipples upturned like the nose of a cute little girl. Lincoln found them irresistible.
He stripped off his clothes, then sat on the bed by Misty and bent down, taking one of those sweet nipples in his mouth.
“Mmm,” Lincoln moaned. He moved his tongue around Misty’s nipple as though it were the most delicious hard candy he’d ever tasted. Misty put her fingers in Lincoln’s white hair and leaned back, pulling him down onto the bed with her.
“Ohhh, Uncle Herb…” she sighed.
Lincoln kissed, sucked, and tongued Misty’s nipples, enjoying the act as much as Misty was. He didn’t know how long he kept at it; he only stopped when Misty spoke.
“Uncle Herb,” she breathed, “would you please fuck me now?”
Lincoln raised his head. “Well, since you asked so nicely…”
He moved up, getting completely on top of Misty as she opened her legs wide. Her smooth thighs felt like satin against Lincoln’s hips.
Falling completely into Herb Spice mode, Lincoln said, “Here I come, sweetheart.”
He pushed into her, and they both moaned. Then Lincoln started pushing slowly in and out of her. The sensation of Misty’s wet, welcoming teenage pussy around him was glorious.
“Ohhh, yes,” Misty moaned, closing her eyes. “Fuck me, Uncle Herb. Fuck your loving little niece.”
Lincoln was about to say that she wasn’t so little, being that she was about as tall as he was. But Herb Spice knew that pretending to be younger was turning her on, so he was happy to go with it.
“Yes, baby girl,” he moaned in her ear. “Uncle Herb’s going to fuck you all you want…”
They kept up their missionary style fuck for a while. Misty moved with Lincoln, making little moans and gasps in his ear as she massaged his member with her love tunnel.
But Lincoln could keep up his slow pace only for so long. Although he was still a bit tired from the night before, fucking the gorgeous girl with whom he had been infatuated since he first laid eyes on her was turning him on in a big way. So he couldn’t help but start to fuck her faster.
“Wait,” Misty gasped. “I wanna…change position…”
Lincoln rolled off of her, and Misty got up on all fours. Then she looked back at him, and the expression on her face was one of pure lust.
“Take me from behind, Uncle,” she breathed.
Lincoln got up on his knees behind her. Somehow, he hadn’t managed to appreciate until now just how fine an ass Misty Mako had. It was slim but shapely, in a womanly way that all those little-girl asses he had held and squeezed and fucked the night before were not. In short, it was gorgeous, and Lincoln ran his hands all over it and felt its every curve before he took firm hold of it and pushed himself inside her.
“Oh, yes,” Misty moaned.
Lincoln couldn’t take it slow anymore. He fucked Misty vigorously, squeezing her ass and moaning.
“Oh…Misty…my…beautiful…little…girl…”
“Yes…Uncle…Herb…” the teenager moaned in reply. “Fuck me…please…fuck me…”
Lincoln fucked her harder and harder. Right as he was about to go full throttle, Misty spoke.
“Uncle Herb,” the girl panted, “would you…do one…little thing…for me?”
“Of course,” Lincoln breathed.
“Pull out…of my pussy…and shove…your cock…up…my ass.”
Lincoln didn’t even take the time to respond. He was so enamored with the idea of fucking Misty’s perfect ass that he pulled his cock—now thoroughly lubricated with Misty’s fluids and his own precum—out of her pussy and immediately thrust all the way into her tiny asshole.
“Yeeeeesss!” the girl cried out.
Lincoln fucked Misty’s tight little hole hard, and within half a minute, he shouted “AAAAAAAH!” and fired the biggest cumload of his life right up Misty’s ass. The girl screamed and came hard, her asshole squeezing Lincoln’s cock in forceful rhythm, like it was trying to milk every ounce of semen from his body.
They fell onto the bed, and Misty put her head on Lincoln’s chest. He held her and stroked her silky hair.
“You’re a sweet girl, Misty,” Lincoln said. “I’m happy to be your ‘uncle.’”
Her head still on Lincoln’s chest, she replied, “You’re such a nice man, Uncle Herb.” Then she raised her head, looked at him, and smiled naughtily. “And so energetic for your age.”
Unfazed, Lincoln smiled back at her. “You make me feel young again.”
***
By the time Lincoln got himself cleaned up and dressed, his sisters had already checked out of their room. He found them all relaxing in a corner of the lobby. Lana was wearing a red hoodie instead of her red hat; apparently, Lola didn’t yet want to give away the secret to her success.
“Where’ve you been?” Lynn asked a bit huffily as Lincoln sat down. “We had to pack your stuff for you.” She pointed to Lincoln’s suitcase; sleeves, pant legs, and the corner of a pair of tighty-whities were sticking out from where the case had been closed on them.
“Sorry,” Lincoln replied, “I was, um, talking to Misty.”
Lynn was opening her mouth to reply when Lola cut in, “Yeah, that’s great, but tell me what happened with the judging! How did Lolly only make second runner-up? Except for the talent competition, she did great in everything.”
“She didn’t score too well in ‘Overall Charm,’” Lincoln replied. He lowered his voice as he went on, “The way Stan put it, ‘She gives a great BJ, but whenever she didn’t have my dick in her mouth, she couldn’t stop bragging about how much better she was than the other girls. It was a real boner-killer.’”
“Good to know,” Lola replied.
“Who’s BJ?” Leni said.
“Ask Lincoln,” Lynn said snidely. “I bet he knows BJ pretty well by now.”
Leni turned to Lincoln, but thankfully, Lola interrupted again.
“Um,” she began, “I have something I wanna ask you guys.”
“What is it, Lols?” Lana asked.
Lola sighed. “I’m glad we won, but…it doesn’t feel right.”
“You mean,” Lincoln asked, “because you did it with all those guys?”
“What? No!” Lola replied. “That part was fantastic!”
“Then what is it?” Leni asked.
“It’s just…” Lola began, “I wanted to enter the pageant because I knew I could win if Daisy Darling wasn’t here. But now it feels like…like I didn’t really win.”
Lynn nodded. “I get it. It’s like when I was all psyched about playing the Hazeltuckey Hamsters ‘cause they had this badass pitcher and I really wanted to go to bat against her, and then on game day she was out with bursitis. We creamed them, but it wasn’t even fun.”
“So…” Lola went on, “if it’s okay with you guys, I…I wanna give Daisy the prize money so she can get her face fixed. Minus expenses, of course.”
Lincoln sighed. He really wanted that PlayBox One P, but…this was the right thing to do. Not just for Daisy, but for Lola. So he chimed in when the others agreed.
“Thanks, you guys,” Lola replied. Then, her face brightening, she said, “And then next year, we can come back here and crush her!” She looked around at them all. “I guess you must think I’m pretty weird.”
“Yup,” Lincoln replied.
He came over to Lola, put his arms around her, and said, “It’s my favorite thing about you.”
Lola closed her eyes and hugged Lincoln back, and the others joined in. Then they all sat back down.
“Besides,” Lynn said. “This was a killer weekend. I got to put a guy in a wrist lock!”
“I got these cute wedge sandals,” Leni said, waving her foot at the others.
“And I got it up the butt!” Lana chimed in.
Just then, they heard a familiar car horn. Vanzilla was pulling into the circular driveway in front of the hotel. All the kids got up.
“So, Lincoln,” Lola said in a low voice, “I guess you’ve got a taste for the young stuff now, huh?”
“What? No! I mean, maybe I did, but I’m over it now. I’m definitely not into young girls—not younger than me, anyway.”
“Oh, really?” Lola said slyly. Then she pointed across the room and asked, “Not even that one?”
“Where?” Lincoln said, his head whipping around to see what Lola was pointing at. Then Lola reached up and ripped off Lincoln’s fake mustache.
“YAAAH!” Lincoln screamed. “What the heck, Lola?!”
“We couldn’t have you wearing that thing when we get in the van.”
“You said you were going to use a solvent!”
“I said there probably was one; I didn’t say I had any,” Lola said, taking a square packet from her purse and peeling it open. “Now stop being a big baby and let me put this astringent pad on you.” Then she slapped a white, alcohol-infused square on Lincoln’s upper lip.
“YAAAH!”
***
On the ride home, Lynn Sr. asked all kinds of questions about the pageant, forcing Lola to make up all manner of lies—until Lincoln came up with a clever fabrication about one of the contestants doing a cowbell solo for her talent act, which got their father talking about cowbells for the rest of the drive.
They arrived home, and everybody hauled their luggage inside. Lincoln and Lola got their bags out of the car last, and as the others went into the house, Lincoln put a hand on Lola’s shoulder.
“I have to confess something,” he said.
Lola looked up at him. “What?”
“You were right,” Lincoln sighed.
Then his face broke into a grin.
“That really was the most fun I’ve ever had.”
- - -
A world of thanks to Fairy Slayer for beta-reading.
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The Miss Cutie Patootie Pageant