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All in the Life of a Loud	By : AberrantScript Category: +G through L > The Loud House Views: 11493 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House and make no money off this work of fiction.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Author's Notes:
These ideas were inspired by Flagg1991. I loved his Nazi Lisa so much I thought I'd give her a shot or two! Anyway, just so you guys know, I don't, in fact, advocate Nazi ideology. This is just a little something called fiction.
Reader be advised: These oneshots are offensive, disgusting, disturbing, and cruel. If you laugh, then you might need some professional help. (Wink!) If they upset you deeply, well you can't say I didn't warn you.
Now, on with the show!
Disclaimer: The Loud House Copyright Nickelodeon (2017)
Nazi Lisa: Part 1
Lincoln whistled a merry tune as he strolled up the steps all willy-nilly. His day was pretty good. Got a new comic. Aced that really hard math test. Dodged Ronnie Anne's fifth attempt to stuff a sloppy joe down his pants...!
He grinned at the ceiling dorkishly. Things were really looking up for our completely unsuspecting, innocent, naive, probably-albino boy.
That is... until he heard a strange buzzing from Lisa and Lily's room.
With a crooked head, he stepped over and slowly opened the door.
His mouth fell open when he saw dozens of babies literally everywhere.
He saw brown-haired ones sitting under a UV lamp...
He saw blonde-haired ones sitting in a row before Lily's crib with red sashes around their bodies...
Little swastikas were stitched into the fabrics...
And Lisa... she was standing in the middle of the room, wearing dark grey trousers, high black boots, a grey service jacket with black girdle, and a black cap. A proud eagle bearing the swastika betwixt its talons was emblazoned on the front of her cap... and the lightning-patterned SS was stitched into her neck collar on both sides.
Beside her, Lily was holding a bust of Adolf Hitler, staring at it with a strange gleam in her eyes.
Lisa was reading from a book in her palms.
"If Nature does not wish that weaker individuals should mate with the stronger, she wishes even less that a superior race should intermingle with an inferior one-"
Lincoln announced his presence with a piercing shriek!
Lisa turned to the door blandly. "Oh, Lincoln, you're just the person I needed to see."
Lincoln stumbled over his feet as he felt the door suddenly shut him in.
"Lisa! Why are there so many babies in here!?"
She deadpanned, "To rebuild the Superior Race, duh."
His mouth hung open, letting a fly land on his lip. It rubbed its front legs together evilly.
Lisa strolled around the room.
"These brown-haired inferiors are close, but not perfect. So, I'm trying to bleach the bad DNA out of their bodies and replacing it with purity."
At Lincoln's continued stupor, Lisa sighed.
"Basically, I'm turning their hair blonde because brown is one of the colors of hell."
"B-b-but, Lisa, your hair is brown!"
She sighed, pulling the cap off her head and holding it to her chest.
"Yes, I'm aware of my own deficiency. I can only pray mein Führer will accept me with open arms once he's seen everything I've done in his name."
She took a steadying breath, stuffing her tears deep inside her body. Then, she returned the cap to her head and aboutfaced.
"Over here are the pure specimens. Notice how each has blue eyes and blonde hair... the colors of perfection, of racial heaven."
Then, she turned to face her brother with a thin-lipped smile.
"Which is why I needed to see you. You see, Lincoln, you're the epitome of the Aryan race. Your skin is flawlessly pale. Your blue eyes inspire us to reach to the very heavens. Even your hair is as pure as can possibly be!"
She stepped up to him and found herself blushing faintly.
"I need your sperm, Lincoln."
He nearly screamed in shock. "My WHAT!?"
"It's for the greater good of mankind-"
They were interrupted by a cute giggle.
Both siblings turned and saw Lily holding Hitler's face right up to her parted lips, her tongue nearly raking across his nose.
Lisa glared furiously, pulling a Mauser from an inner pocket.
"I swear to Goebbels, Lily, you will be my first test subject in the gas chamber I made from the basement boiler!"
Nazi Lisa: Part 2
In the basement, Luan was strapped to a wooden chair with leather bindings. Two insulated wires were attached to her feet with clamps, two more taped to her forehead.
Lisa, in her Schutzstaffel service uniform, brought up a syringe and, with a completely blank gaze, sunk two inches of chilly needle into Luan's stiff neck.
Luan came to with a sudden gasping scream.
"Good, you're finally awake."
Lisa walked over to a wooden platform and stepped onto it.
Luan looked frantically around, trying to pull her hands and legs free to no avail.
"Where am I!?"
Lisa donned a pair of thick rubber gloves.
"Beginning experiment #9. Test subject is conscious and stabilized."
"Lisa! What's going on!?"
Lisa checked all the dials and connections twice over, before she finally turned her attention to the squirming teenager.
"Subject #12-4, I will ask you questions and you will answer them."
"Let me go, Lise!"
A gleam flashed across Lisa's glasses.
"What caused the Black Plague?"
Luan stared at her sister dumbly.
"Uh, rats?"
She suddenly seized up, her fingers and toes curling in on themselves, her body spasming and jerking in place.
Above her, an incandescent bulb flickered.
Lisa's gloved hand threw the switch back down, and Luan's quivering body fell forward.
Luan tried to catch her breath, the ghostly pain of electrocution causing her limbs to jerk involuntarily every few seconds.
"It was flea-bitten Jews that caused the Black Plague. Next question."
Luan glanced up at her sister dumbly, her lungs heaving, her heart racing.
"What caused hurricane Katrina?"
"Uh, a tropical depression?"
She jerked again, her skin burning on her forehead and feet.
"No. That was God punishing America for helping Jews. Next question."
Luan nodded numbly, momentarily losing the feeling in several places in her body... She felt almost like she was floating.
"What has caused every catastrophe in human history?"
Luan suddenly giggled, biting her lip for just a moment before she burst out into laughter.
Lisa glared at her, another flash racing across her glasses, as she pulled her handy-dandy Mauser from the breastpocket.
"What's so funny, Luan?"
Luan tilted her weary head up, feeling her skin sting beneath the wires.
"I was going to tell you a Jewish joke... but I'm sure you've already heard it six million times."
Lisa grinned widely as Luan laughed herself to unconsciousness.
"Ah, racial purity is a beautiful thing~"
She turned to a bookshelf in the corner of the basement and lifted a framed picture of the late dictator. She ran a finger lovingly down its sides.
"If this is the closest we can be, then so be it."
And she tore off her uniform and made love to Hitler's photograph until the rising sun blushed in shame at the horrific scene.
- 5
- 6
- 7
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All in the Life of a Loud