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Meg in a Refrigerator	By : ShadowProc213 Category: +1 through F > Family Guy Views: 19539 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own "Family Guy" the animated series or the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
Shortly after Meg and Kaden's honeymoon mission, they were finally finding their groove, and all they'd had to do was cut a bloody trail across the country. Today, they were hunting a cult calling itself the Moonlight of Mercury.
"So, how often do we need to do that?" Meg asked as they drove across a magnificent, flat part of the country. "I know the torture is optional, but how many agents could the government possibly need disposed of..."
"They're never going to run out of people they want dead. It's more just a matter of making sure that whoever they want dead is competent enough that they need someone like me to kill him." Kaden explained. "As for how often, once a week seems to be the absolute fastest they stack these contracts up. Barring cults." He shrugged, taking a hand off the steering wheel of this massive truck. This eighteen wheeler was filled with explosives, and its driver was a direct agent of the highest offices of government. "I hate cults."
"Behold! For soon, we will all be purified in quicksilver!" Proclaimed the man atop the stage. "And what has brought us all here? What has brought us all together?"
"EXPIATION!" All of his followers shouted
"What are they talking about?" Meg asked.
"They're domestic terrorists. This next part might hurt." He said coyly. Turning into a skid, the truck rolled its way over these crowds of cultists. Too bad it was the trailer rolling, and not the tires.
"Did you mean to do that?" Meg demanded, un-buckling herself and falling onto the passenger-side door
"No way. Past a certain point, I couldn't control this thing. No idea why." Kaden admitted. "A Luddite cult should have no way to fight a truck. I was just going to kill their leader, but now I'm confused."
"I've got an idea." Meg suggested. She tried the radio, to no avail, then just opened up the driver's side door and stuck herself out. "Hi! We're not from around here, mostly just passing through. Our truck just--" She shut up and ducked inside the truck's cab when a pitchfork flew directly toward her head. It may have missed her, but just barely.
"Luddite! Cult! They're not going to take to kindly to us, sweetums!" Kaden twitched with barely controlled rage.
"Fair enough. How many weapons do we have with us in the cab of this truck?" Meg asked, the roof of the truck denting as their new friends attacked.
"The multi-tool in the glove compartment, and the remote detonator for everything we're transporting." Kaden admitted, what sounded like an axle breaking punctuating his oversight.
"Nothing else?" She asked. "I thought you were a genius." She mocked, jumping onto the cab of the truck.
"Not all of us are as accustomed to public hate as you are!" He commented at Meg's back, holding the door open to ensure that there was at least something between his wife and a hail of hatchets.
There was a woman, with a child on her back, swinging a scythe. They both sang the same hymns at Meg, and it made her feel almost nostalgic for the moments when someone would set themselves on fire just for a gag. Mostly because these hymns were in complete dissonance. The woman was swinging her weapon wildly, and the scythe became embedded in part of the truck. Meg retrieved it, and began swinging the weapon in kind, though less wildly.
Lo and behold, these people were falling, one by one, dying to this once-chunky girl. Over what had been several months of travel, the thickness of her limbs was slowly changing from useless flab into genuine muscle, and her newly found strength and quickness drew blood in glorious spurts. She leaped down from the cabin of the truck, continuing her trail of carnage as she ran around to the back of the truck.
When the light on Kaden's watch marked 'panic' lit up, he slammed a fist into the button meant to unlock the huge roll-up door at the back of the truck. Meg was already dodging her way around these anachronistic freaks. She pirouetted with that scythe, hooking the handle of the door. Two steps back forced enough momentum that the door rolled up on its own.
With the door open, there were plenty of unmarked crates, and it was theft that had drawn the government's attention onto this group to begin with. The people that weren't chasing Meg had completely abandoned the idea of attacking Kaden in favor of dragging these crates out of this truck. Meg discarded the scythe, planting it in one of her pursuers, and answering her phone as it vibrated on her hip. "Kaden! Do you have any alternative detonation system?" She immediately asked when she picked up.
"What? Meg, it's your mother. We all want to know when you're going to going to come home from your ridiculous road trip." Lois chided. "Wait, detonation? I knew that man would be a bad influence on you!"
"Shut up, mom!" Meg pressed the button to terminate the call, then picked up again when it resumed ringing, hoping it might be Kaden. "I need a detonation system for all those crates!" She yelled into the phone.
"Don't hang up on your mother!" Came Lois from the other end of the phone. "What does he have you doing?" She demanded, and Meg just threw her phone away, knocking out a pursuer with it.
"I hate my mother!" Meg shouted.
Sprinting up alongside her came Kaden; "We can write off the phone. Did you have an actual plan?"
"Detonator?" Meg repeated.
"Dead man's switch." Kaden announced, flipping open his multi-tool from the glove box, jamming the knife into his hand and turning on his heel to face their attackers. "My name is Kaden Phoenix. Your leader has been lying to you. Turn back now and I can promise you a harmless relocation provided by the government into nearby unoccupied areas."
Nobody was running. Nobody was chasing. They stood and glared at the couple before them. A middle aged man stepped forward, addressing Kaden. "I joined these people because the government has taught my people, over and over, not to trust them. Here in America, my father and his father have had no better luck than in Germany. You'd think a man like you could understand that."
"Today, he's a living weapon." Meg argued. "Ready to detonate a bomb spread across your compound by your own thieving hands."
"You-- you don't have a button to set it off-- What kind of horrid things must they be doing out there if she calls you a weapon?"
"It's a pet name. Do you and yours surrender?" Kaden reiterated. "This is the last time I'll ask."
"You'll have to kill us." A young woman yelled.
"I accept... your terms." Kaden tweaked the knife a little, and the transmitter fried itself as soon as it hit air.
Explosions rang out from so far away... they weren't exactly coordinated, but they were so disorganized that a little girl ran up with a box, tears in her eyes. "Daddy!" She pulled on the gypsy's pants. "The boxes are making the world explode! Why would you want one?"
Kaden knelt down in front of this child, uncertain of what to do as he rested his bloody hand on her cheek. Meg knelt alongside her partner, and looked into this girl's terrified eyes. "We're the bad guys. Your Daddy just wanted to stop us from destroying your home." Meg lied as the box beeped faster and faster. "Don't worry; even though he failed, you won't feel a thing."
The explosion went off, and it was night before Meg woke up. Kaden had taught her all about bombs, and how a pressure wave works. She looked around to see the cultists. Their ears were leaking blood, their eyes were burst from their sockets, a few had clearly just lost their chest cavities entirely.
This didn't feel like a time for modesty, so Meg tore off her shirt and looked down at herself, expecting a mess. Instead, she saw a pristine body, in even better shape than she was before, and with none of the scars. She tossed her shattered glasses aside, amazed at her own improved vision.
She remembered what her father had said when he was trying to be her friend. 'I, Peter Griffin, can regenerate'. Though he'd just been talking about a hand, Meg paraphrased aloud as she turned to see Kaden. "I can regenerate?"
To her shock, Kaden was awake. "Meg, I loved you with those scars..." he was gasping for breath, "Where did they go?"
Meg picked up Kaden's phone, which did tend to be sturdier than most, and hit the top speed dial. "This is Megatron Griffin. I'm listed as Kaden Phoenix's first item of equipment. He's incapacitated. Please send an extraction and cover-up team to our location."
It was more than a week before Kaden could stay awake consistently. "This feels like a failure. We could have earned a lot more cash by keeping the bodies relatively intact."
"We're alive, right?" Meg "Besides, they decided to reimburse us for all of our expenses. That includes hospital bills; speaking of which, how are you alive right now?"
"There's this beautiful girl... that I promised to kill." He weakly smiled through all the bandages. "What about you? No scars..." he trailed off again.
"That's more complicated. The higher ups want us to go back to Quahog and ask my parents about it." Meg explained, dropping into a chair. "They're assigning me a code-name later today. We can head to Quahog as soon as you're feeling better."
When Meg was in the hallway, watching Kaden sleep, one of the doctors approached. "Miss? Are you Miss Phoenix?" Asked a tall, Arabic woman in a lab coat. These windows through which they watched Kaden in his bed were partially mirrored, and they displayed the heavily injured man in the bed.
"My name is Meg Griffin, but I am Kaden Phoenix's wife." Meg answered.
"Well, we need you to fill out some forms." The doctor turned a clipboard full of papers toward Meg. "We need next-of-kin approval."
Meg didn't say anything. As soon as she heard that, she signed the papers. After another hour of just patching him up, Kaden was finally allowed out of his infirmary room, though still wrapped up heavily in bandages. "Want to go home tonight? They could just e-mail me that code-name."
"You do realize what the code-name thing means, right?" Kaden asked, clearly annoyed.
"I hadn't thought about it. They're usually to hide something, right?" She theorized.
"Every code-name is a leash. A reminder that they are the government, and they control the world around you." Kaden elaborated, his eyes narrowing as he thought of previous partners that had to be executed whenever they grew a conscience. "Code-names remind us that we're disposable."
"We can worry about that when it comes." Meg admitted. "I'll just have them e-mail me the code-name." She pressed a button on the phone. "We're going to Quahog."
"Why, exactly?" Kaden asked, looking up from the bed. "You hate Quahog."
"Maybe all of our efforts have done some real good." Meg hoped aloud, clutching the hem of her shirt. She turned to look at those bandages. "How long does physical therapy usually take?"
"Usually? Up to six months, maybe more, plus immune-suppressants. For me..." He tore off a huge swath of the bandages, tossing them into a nearby wastebasket. "I'm ready to go whenever you are." The flesh revealed had been covered in scars not too long ago, but now it was pristine and untarnished. Meg could see a few faint shadows of scars, but only because of how close she could get.
It took nearly twenty-seven hours to reach Quahog, and by then, it was already dinner-time tomorrow.
They both walked up to ring the bell, and their eyes widened when it was Lois answering the door. "Afternoon there--" Her jaw dropped as she saw Meg for the first time in months. "Holy crap, Meg, does he have you on steroids!?" She screeched.
"A little self-confidence goes a long way. No drugs necessary." Kaden assured her. "We'd love to stay a while and catch up." He smiled at her.
They sat down at the dinner table, and there was Stewie, Brian, Chris, Sam, and even Peter...
"Didn't we send you off to impersonate James Woods?" Meg asked Peter.
"I am. I showed up one day lookin' like myself, and now everyone just assumes that 'the fat James Woods' is nicer, and less wrinkled." Peter explained.
"When Peter came back, he actually fought my boyfriend for my affections. Not that you'll ever know, Meg, but it feels great to have two guys fight over you." Lois added. "Patrick is back in the asylum, by the way."
"Lois, we came here to speak with Peter." Kaden explained. "And if you do, or say, one more thing with the intent of hurting your daughter, I will spread your carcass across five states." He threatened. "Do you guys have a room we can crash in? It's been a long road trip since I killed all those people in Kansas."
"Sure. We haven't upgraded Meg's old room into a guest room yet, but you could stay there." Peter suggested, completely missing the irony of his statement.
"Thanks, Dad." Meg smiled as she ate the dinner in front of her, trying to ignore the snake-and-mongoose battle happening just beside her. "So, Hollywood's been treating you well?"
"Mostly." Peter gulped. "When I lost the James Woods face, they relegated me to screwball comedies."
"How did you lose that face, anyway?" Meg prodded. "I was there when it got stitched on, and those stitches weren't loose..."
Peter glanced sidelong at his other family members, most of who had their own idle conversation going, and his wife was loudly arguing with his new son-in-law. "Like I told you before, some of the people in our bloodline--"
"You mean the McFinnigans?" Meg checked.
"Yup." Peter finished off the last of his beer. "McFinnigans can regenerate. Me, you, even Chris and Stewie... Your arms look great, by the way." Peter said. He was acting a lot smarter than usual, enough to make Meg nervous.
Meg nudged Kaden. "We should go to bed after dinner. I have what we need."
Kaden leaned back in his chair, looked down at the un-eaten food in front of him, and pushed the plate away. "We'll retire to your daughter's old room now, if you don't mind."
Meg and Kaden both sat down on her old twin bed. "Peter was way too coherent to be himself." She thought aloud.
"That means my forced surgery worked; the man in Hollywood is our dear friend Peter, and the fat man downstairs is James Woods after packing on some pounds." Kaden agreed. "It is hard to tell, since Peter went back to looking like himself, and Woods still looks like Peter..."
"That's not why we're here. We have confirmation that the regeneration has a genetic component. James Woods isn't someone who would half-ass his research." Meg reminded him, a hand on Kaden's shoulder.
"Fair enough. In the morning, we need to get out of here. Your brothers and the dog are okay, but Woods and Lois both give me the creeps." Kaden scowled. "The luggage is secured, right?"
"It's ready, as always." Meg answered, standing up and stepping toward the door. "I'm going to take a shower. We've been travelling a while, and we're both starting to reek."
She stepped into the bathroom, dropping her towel just before hearing the door click shut behind her. Spinning around on her foot, she pinned her voyeur with a hand on his throat...
And he had likewise gripped her throat as his towel fell away, and the side of her head. Seeing the dark flesh of her voyeur, she stepped closer, "If you wanted a peek," she kissed him before continuing, "you should have asked."
"It's not about the peek." Kaden reminded her, "It's about this feeling. Holding your throat in my fist..." He trailed off before kissing her in kind.
"If you wanted to kill me, Kaden, now is the time to do it." Meg suggested, pulling out a small, smooth blade. "We're in an environment we don't own, complete with somewhere to wash off all of the blood."
"Are you really so eager to put fresh scars on your new body?" Kaden asked, taking the blade from her hand, and running its flat along the curve of her chest. He formed his favorite grin as he turned the knife, pressing it in gently along the surface of her right breast, a bead of garnet liquid rolling down her ribs.
Meg's eyes rolled back, her expression turned sultry, her mouth hanging open in anticipation of the next cut. "Come on, love." She teased, pirouetting slowly in front of him, hands above her head. "I brought you this brand new canvas. Why don't you draw a little something for me?" She requested, and he drew that knife along her back, a streak of blood appearing beside her spine.
Pulling back with a flourish of the knife, Kaden stabbed downward, fiercely piercing both shoulder blades, a spray of blood coming from those punctures. "What would you like next?" He asked, licking one of the only relatively clean parts of her neck, the trickling and spurting crimson quickly covering them both.
Meg arched her back as she exhaled, and there was the perfect moment. He dropped the knife onto the countertop and took hold of both her wrists, pulling back and then snap-kicking her into the bathtub.
The impressive part was not the fact that she was now a rotating sprinkler of blood, covering every surface of this poor bathroom in slick red gunk. The impressive part was the fact that she had grabbed onto the curtain rod in mid-spin, and was now facing away from Kaden, hanging there without her feet really on the wall of the tub. "I think I've got some serious whiplash, but I feel like you can do better. This feels really tame for you."
Picking up his knife, Kaden approached her from behind, helping her to fall into the tub, the lips of her pussy getting moist with more than just the blood of her wounds. "Are we really going to need the tub?" Meg asked.
"Not really," Kaden answered, both his hands wrapping around her torso, one of them holding onto her hip. "But pretty soon, we'll be happy to be here instead of the sink." he finished, driving the knife deep into her sternum.
Meg managed to put her own hands over her mouth, not wanting to scream all-too-loud in her parents' house. Her toes curled, her legs couldn't stop kicking, and she squirmed in delight as she was carved apart. "My wounds aren't healing." Meg thought aloud, "There must be some kind of threshold you have to pass with the injury before I heal."
"Best excuse we've ever had." Kaden trailed kisses up Meg's neck, along her cheek, just before reaching her mouth, he asked of her. "Can you turn your head a little?" And Meg did so, her mouth and his meeting up so their tongues could slide together. Kaden forced the knife toward Meg's pelvis, carving open her abdomen. Nothing could have stopped the sound of that screaming. "Help my aim down there?"
"Come on in." Meg reached down. She could already feel his hot cock resting against both her pussy lips and her clitoris. She used one hand to re-position that hardened shaft, and the other to hold her pussy lips open. It took a few tries, each so-called failure just leading to the rather enjoyable feeling of their genitals teasing each other.
When she finally got them coupled correctly, and her beloved thrust his full length inside her, she honestly thought it hurt more than getting stabbed... and she loved it. Their mouths pressing together, his cock being shoved recklessly inside of her brutally injured body; every bit of it brought her closer. "Thanks. Now, just brace yourself. This is probably going to hurt more than anything you've ever experienced." Kaden warned.
Kaden couldn't see her smile since they were so close, but Meg managed to say one thing. "Promises, promises." She whispered before resuming their closed-eyed kisses. Kaden tossed the knife outside the tub, and reached up to the wound in Meg's abdomen. Digging in with all of his fingers to get past the muscle, Kaden pulled open as forcefully as he could manage.
With her entire inner chest cavity exposed, Meg slammed both her fists into the walls of the tub, and let out a positively hellish scream. With Kaden bucking his hips below her, thrusting deep in her vagina as he tore open her gut. "Do me a favor and grab your stomach." Kaden instructed, still pulling the envelope of Meg's torso wide open.
"Are you honestly theorizing while we have sex? How do you do that? Why would you do that?" She managed to ask, actually groping around inside of herself.
"If we can get this to work like I think it will, then I'll get to kill you every night. That's worth a little multi-tasking. I do admit, it's very stressful trying not to come inside you with you in such a helplessly dismembered position." He thought aloud.
"I can't tell what's what, and I doubt being able to see them would help me." She kept feeling around, finally getting a grip on something.
"Yank something out and hold it up." Kaden suggested. Meg pulled out a lump of elliptical meat attached to a smaller version of itself. "It's not what we want. Throw it near our feet." Kaden demanded, "That was a spleen. Keep trying. Your odds get better the more you disembowel yourself."
Meg tried taking that as a suggestion, and ripped out a big ball of what appeared to be scrunched together worms, a thick snake attached, out of herself. "Like this?" She asked, tossing it toward the bathroom door and watching as it became strewn all over the sink and counter.
"That's the idea! And those were your intestines." Kaden agreed emphatically. Meg pulled up another lump of meat. "Spleen." And another. "Kidney." When she pulled out a big lump with several tubes of internal pink still attached. "Is that your--?" His jaw dropped.
"Heart!" She yelled, pulling as hard as she could to tear it away from her body, using the motion to her advantage, and tossing the incredibly vital organ onto the bathroom floor beside the knife. "Come on. Fuck me like a carved up little toy!" Meg yelled, holding her hands over Kaden's hands and leaning forward, thus forcing him to lean forward, and grinding her sopping wet cunt into the cock that held her upright.
Though unsure of what possessed him to do it, Kaden stood up in this literal bath of his wife's blood. Thanks to the groping in there that Meg had performed earlier, there wasn't much supporting anything. Every organ between her neck and pelvis fell out of her body, toward the pool of blood. It hurt again, it hurt so much, but she didn't even have a diaphragm to scream with.
Honestly, this felt like a very bad idea, and she was determined to make the last few minutes of her life beautiful; so she continued kissing the man who had seen fit to dismember her in this tub. As she felt the haze of death settle in on her, Meg also felt a few parting thrusts down below, a few slimy tongue-swirls up above, even that loving way he would rest his bare neck against her collar...
She wouldn't trade this bad idea for the world.
- 5
- 6
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Meg in a Refrigerator