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Fairly FlawedParents	By : FairySlayer Category: +1 through F > Fairly OddParents Views: 28990 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own "The Fairly OddParents" and I do not make any money from these writings.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Shows What You Know
Wanda paced in mid air back and forth across the bedroom. “Maybe he's not gonna show up. Who knows? Maybe he realized he's happier when I'm not around,” Wanda worried aloud.
“I'm sure he'll be coming any minute now,” Timmy said while flipping through another strange comic book. “He never stopped talking about how much he missed you the entire time you were gone. And you know how he is, probably trying too hard with his big surprise.”
“I know, Timmy, but he's at his best when he's just being himself – uh, for the most part – not when he's forcing it,” Wanda protested. “Pfft, he's always trying to force it...” She settled on the bed and hunched forward with her elbows on her knees, resting her pretty yet sad face in her hands.
Timmy sensed she was about to burst out in tears. “I know, let's watch some TV until he gets back. That'll keep your mind off of him for a while.” He picked up a remote control on the desk, which lit up at his touch and activated the entertainment center. A wide-screen plasma set unfolded from the ceiling in front of her dresser and clicked on as several hidden speakers gently came up to volume.
“Welcome to Dimmadelphia Digital Cable. Over 800 channels... even a few that don't suck!”
Timmy picked a channel at random.
“Dick! Oh Dick, my darling Dick! Why did you run away? Come back to me! Dick! Dick! Dick!”
“Jane, being with you is no longer such a ball. You're just too damned needy and you keep repeating yourself. Geez, you even make poor Spot neurotic.” *SLAM*
Wanda's eyes went wide and welled up with tears.
“Oh, how I'm going to miss having Dick in my...”
Click! Timmy quickly changed the channel as Wanda started sniffling.
A googly-eyed purple creature appeared on screen. “Hi Bulky Bird! Me just on way to pick flowers for nice girl at bakery. Wanna come with?”
The giant monochromatic avian replied in a whiny voice, “Oh, sure thing, Pastry Monster. I love flowers.”
“Phew! It may be a boring kiddy show, but at least it's safe,” Timmy quietly told himself.
“Okay. We just make one stop. Me need to get soy milk from Cooper's. Me watching figure these days, hee hee hee. Then we... Hey, why Bulky Bird so sad just now?”
“Nothing, it's... just that you got me thinking about old Mister Cooper... AND HOW HE'S GONE FOEREVER AND NEVER COMING BACK! WAAAAIGH!”
“WAIGH! Me miss him so much, too!”
Click! Timmy quickly changed the channel yet again. Wanda brought her knees to her chest and wrapper her arms around them, curling into a ball while still sitting up.
“Coming up now on Gerry Dinger, 'My husband left me for some younger 'tang...”
Click! “Definitely not helpful!” Timmy sputtered as Wanda started rocking back and forth, looking horrified.
“I guess I have to do this the hard way,” a familiar male voice sighed.
An equally-familiar female voice answered, “Do what the hard way? Are you breaking up with me!?”
“Oh man, I never thought I'd say this, but, yes, I am. I'm breaking up with you.”
“I knew it! You were trying to chew your arm off in a desperate attempt at freedom!”
“Yikes!” Timmy blurted out while his fairy godmother began gnawing on her knuckles. Click!
“... that created the Great Barrier Reef. Once they join, the stony coral polyp and its symbiotic zooxanthellae algae will stay together forever, happily taking care of each other's needs for the rest of their lives.”
“Ah, a good old-fashioned unemotional science show,” Timmy sighed. “Yet somehow...” The young boy stood up and aimed the remote in anticipation.
“Except when exposed to outsides stresses. Then, the green algae will escape from the grabby pink coral and disappear in the vast ocean forever, never to be seen again!”
Click! The screen retracted into the ceiling as he tossed the remote back onto the desk. He hurried over to the bed and sat down next to his shivering fairy godmother. Though a bit self-conscious, Timmy put his arms around her and she immediately leaned into his body, wordlessly placing the side of her face against his chest while he patted her shoulders.
Seeing Wanda this upset really bothered Timmy, so he desperately tried to think of something to say: something comforting, intelligent, and from the heart. He uncomfortably rubbed her back and shoulders while trying to come up with something. The little fairy closed her eyes and relaxed her grip, letting her hands rest comfortably on him as she held back her tears.
After a long uncomfortable silence, he gave up on sounding smart and instead tried to think of what Cosmo would say. “So, I guess TV isn't going to solve our problems this time,” he blurted out, accidentally channeling Homer Simpson instead. “You're worrying for nothing. Besides, he'd have to be the dumbest... I mean, only a complete idiot...” Timmy was completely flustered. “Whatever! But there's no way he'd ever leave you, and he's definitely not gonna miss you looking this beautiful.”
Timmy cocked his head sideways and looked at Wanda's face. Her cheeks curled briefly, as if trying to smile despite her worries, but it quickly faded. Timmy's pep talk made her feel a little better, but realizing how close she was to his lap is what had made her grin.
After thinking it over for a few seconds, he gave the cute fairy a long mmmm! kiss on the forehead, like his mother sometimes gave him for no reason whenever his father wasn't around. Sure, it usually made him feel all gooey and weird inside, but holding his dolled-up fairy godmother was already giving him those funny feelings. So, he figured it was the adult thing you're supposed to do at times like that. “Hey, maybe using Trixie's hot tub would make you feel better,” he suggested.
The breathy kiss took her completely by surprise, sending a ripple of warm chills throughout her ancient body. She knew it was wrong to think of him romantically, even in her deepest fantasies, but it was almost impossible not to. After all, she spent most of her time with Timmy and, apart from her husband, she knew him best of anyone else in the either world: all of his dreams, hopes, fears... and ever since his hormones kicked in, what he was packing in his shorts, too.
Besides, she thought, she and Cosmo had been married for close to ten- thousand years and had absolutely no new tricks left. Life got dull once in a while, and they didn't have time to socialize with other fairies; they had tried having human friends once but that didn't work out, either. Even though her husband would satisfy all of her fetishes without hesitation, without ever complaining or even mentioning it afterwards, she still felt like she needed something different.
For a brief instant, she even convinced herself that he would not only let her do anything she wanted without a second thought, but he'd probably even want her to something naughty if it would make her really happy. Of course, she immediately realized this was an extreme rationalization — something no one in her right mind could truly believe. So, there was only one thing to do...
She sat up and gently placed a hand on her godson's shoulder. “You know Timmy, you're absolutely right. I bet he'll be here in no time, so let's say I whip up some margaritas while we're waiting?” Wanda figured that if he was this late, Cosmo was probably stuck in something that should have been easy; therefore, she didn't expect to see him for at least a few more hours.
Timmy smiled at her sudden recovery and squeezed her hand. “Okay, but what's a margarita?”
“It's like a really sweet but sour lime smoothie, but you put salt around the glass to make it taste better.” Timmy's face screwed up in doubt, but she just smiled mischievously. “Trust me, squirt: you'll love 'em,” she assured the unsuspecting child.
“Okay,” he said with an adventurous smile, showing off his pearly-white buck teeth. “And we'll save some for Cosmo?”
“Oh, it'd be crazy not to,” she shot back with a grin.
“And maybe a little for Vicky, too?” he timidly posed.
“Why not!” she shrugged. “After all, she's the one who'll get blamed for the missing tequila.”
- 5
- 6
- 7
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