Memory Burns | By : sickindulgence Category: +G through L > Invader Zim > AU/AR-Alternate Universe-Alternate Reality Views: 3211 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
A/N: I'm sorry this took so long to put this up. My state had a blackout, I had a hard time writing it, excuses excuses...but this chap has more yummy sex and I'm pretty sure that's why you're here, so....
Weeks flew by. Dib started writing again, but worked it out with his editor that he could do it from home. Since much of his research was done using the internet and phones, this wasn't a problem.
He didn't need any more meds, except the occasional ibuprofen for his arm if it got sore. The doctors told him things were healing remarkably fast, especially his chest. Dib smiled and told them he was drinking more milk.
Zim was over every day, to Dib's delight. Sometimes, he would even bring GIR, who still paraded around in the horrible dog suit.
"I couldn't get him to throw it away or try anything else. If I do he screams and runs around and pulls out all his wiring. It was a fucking mess." Zim had said, glaring at the little bot.
"Awww, I think it's cute. Besides, he blends in pretty well. Anyone asks, just say it's an AIBO." Dib had said.
A routine was beginning to form. Gaz would come over to clean/bring food/run errands in the morning before her classes started in the afternoon. Zim would arrive around midday and perform some similar duties...and some very different ones.
Dib had an inkling that a communication had been established between Zim and Gaz, as they never were around at the same time, and Zim never commented on how Dib washed all the dishes or vacuumed with one good arm. Likewise, Gaz never asked about why there were bits of electronics on the table (because Zim liked to take stuff apart) or vocabulary books were strewn about.
The vocab books. Dib was trying to teach Zim new words.
"I mean, I notice that sometimes when you speak, I can tell you're trying to reach for a word, but you just don't know enough words to find it....and I was just thinking since I do a lot of writing that I could help you expand your vocabulary."
"Vocabulary." Zim made it sound like a curse. "Just because I don't talk..." He thought for a moment. "...pretty...doesn't mean I can't still kick your ass."
"Hey…" Dib touched Zim's face. He sort of nuzzled against it, purring. "I…care about you now. And I want you to be safe. That means being as human as possible. I know you don't want anyone to pay more attention to you than they have to. Better vocabulary would help." Zim's eyes had closed, but he nodded, sure.
They started with lessons where Dib would read and show Zim a word, and then he would work out how to use it in a sentence. But Zim was constantly looking bored and fiddling with other things while they did this. Dib wondered if any of it was getting through to him.
"Okay, here's a word. Eclectic. That is an adjective that describes what you do when you select several different styles or elements, usually for artistic purposes. What can you say with it?"
"Hand me that screwdriver over there."
"Zim! Are you even listening?" Zim looked up from the circuit board he was playing with.
"Of course, how many times do I have to say YES! Eclectic, it's a human word for laziness that means 'I'm throwing a bunch of different shit together and calling it art.'" Dib sighed, handing him the tool and closing the book.
"Well, we'll work on this later. I have to write another page of my article on the McMeaty's scandal." Dib moved to his desk and started typing. Earlier that week, the doctors had removed Dib's cast, but insisted that he keep the arm in a sling for at least a few more weeks. Dib was happy to at least be able to type properly again.
Behind him, he could hear Zim tinkering with the board on the floor.
I need to call the head of the press for a quote about their illegal billing practices... *tapppity tap tap * I wonder if I should talk to the whistle blower? Nah, the lawyers would be all over that-
"So, are you still suicidal?"
Dib froze. An eternity in seconds.
"Dib?" Dib heard Zim put down his tools and push his office chair so it slowly spun on it's axis to face him. "That's the right word isn't it? 'Pertaining to the taking of one's own life?'"
Dib swallowed. "I, uh…yeah, that's right." Zim cocked his head to the side, waiting.
Dib cleared his throat. "Um, well…I…don't know?" Dib shrugged. "Things have been so much better since we…since you started helping me."
"Is that what you humans call it?" Zim sneered.
"No, it's more than that." Dib was suddenly very serious. "You haven't just helped. It's like...well, like when you give burn victims a video game." Zim stared at him blankly.
"Ummm...my English must not be that good. Come again?" Dib sighed, remembering the article he'd written on it a while ago.
"Burn victims...the therapy and treatment for it is intensely painful. Drugs help but don't really make it go away. Especially when they are performing the grafting. That involves putting on new skin to the burned parts." Zim hissed sympathetically. "Anyway...there is this thing they do now where they give the patient a video game to play while they graft the skin. And that, coupled with drugs, allows the patient to be distracted enough to heal through the pain." Dib looked at Zim straight into his crimson eyes. "It's like that. You...distract me."
Zim's antennae fell flat on his head. "So that's all I am to you. A distraction while you heal."
"That's all? That's everything." Dib got down on the carpet, as close to Zim as he could get while still looking at him. "Zim, a few weeks ago, the only thing standing between me and death was you. Now...shit." He sat up, rubbing the back of his head. "I didn't want to talk about this just yet."
Zim perked up. "Talk about what?"
"I...uhhh...I want to know, if you knew anyway...where this whole thing might be going?"
"Why do you need to know? Are things not going the way you want them to?"
"Jesus no. They're great." He fell silent, looking depressed.
"Well, out with it, meat bag!" Zim grinned at him. He seemed to be trying to lighten the mood. Still, Dib fiddled with his sling, nervously.
"Zim, I...I need to know because...I'm kinda..." He sighed, exasperated. "I'm...I'm fucking in love with you, okay?" Zim stared at him. His antennae stood straight up, trembling. Dib rubbed his face as it reddened considerably. "And I need to know how you feel about it because if you don't have feelings for me, or you don't even know what love is, then we should probably stop this before both of us gets hurt."
Zim shifted uncomfortably on the floor, looking anywhere but in Dib's eyes. Dib waited. After what seemed like forever, Zim took a deep breath.
"When...I was sent here..." Zim began. "I was very...dedicated to my work. I thought...if I conquer this planet, I can prove my worth to my leaders. And...I know I AM worthy. But...no matter what I tried, it was like it didn't matter. They never came, never called. And after a while...I didn't know why I was doing it anymore."
He looked up at Dib with a small smile.
"Do you remember how you used to sneak into my base all the time?" Dib snorted.
"I still have the scars to prove it." He pulled up his pant leg to show some round white dents the size of eraser heads on his calf. "Hurt like a bitch."
Zim nodded, his face far away.
"I really looked forward to those times we fought." Zim said, touching the scars carefully. "We would spar with our minds and our fists. It was actually fun. I would think up some crazy plan. In the end, I knew it would never work. That didn't seem to matter so much, though. It...took me some time, but I realized that, less was I trying to get the attention of my masters...than I was trying to get your attention instead." He looked up at Dib, slowly, his face revealing how difficult this admission was. Dib looked at him, but things were starting to look hazy. He felt dizzy. He leaned forward, trying to get closer to his lover, and buried his head in the crook of his neck. Zim stroked his head, continuing.
"I'd always respected you, as much as my ego would allow. On some level, I even...wanted to be friends." He chuckled a bit. "I didn't expect to get...this." He made an all encompassing gesture. "But...that's the way I felt, all those years ago."
Dib opened his mouth, his voice thick. “Zim…you should have said something sooner…all those years…” He looked up, quickly, feeling like he was going to cry. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner!”
"I'm saying it now, Dib!" Zim sighed. "I stayed because…I stayed on Earth for my mission. But...I always felt that, had things been different, we could have been allies. I..." Zim looked forlorn. "I thought...I KNEW...you didn't feel the same way about me. You hated me because it made sense." Zim shook his head. "It would never have worked then. We were BOTH too immature. Now...every thing's changed, WE'VE changed." Zim put his other arm around Dib, holding him tight.
"When you called me, I didn't know how different we'd become. And I thought we were still enemies...but I still wanted to see you, if only to talk to someone I knew. When I saw you...you'd grown so much! But...you looked horrible. I knew something was wrong...I didn't feel like I could just ask. When you mentioned my Voot, I was ashamed." He laughed. "That's why I drank that awful coffee and ran away." Dib mustered a chuckle. "I couldn't get over your condition though, and I thought it was partially my fault anyway...so I followed you to that bar." Zim swallowed. It made a thick clicking in his throat. "I could see what you were trying to do, it was so obvious, it made me sick. And I realized, for the first time ever, I...cared...whether a being other than myself lived or died.
"These past few weeks...I honestly can't remember what I was doing before this. I can't remember why I felt so shitty all the time. And I don't want to leave this planet anymore." He looked down at Dib. Dib grabbed frantically for Zim's head, pulling him downward. Zim pulled Dib up and it was a long, deep kiss. Dib's tongue traced lightly over Zim's sharp teeth, prodding in an exploratory way. After a while, Zim's tongue attacked and wrapped around Dib's, seductively pulling and pressing, entering his mouth finally, invading it. Dib moaned and pressed himself against the Irken.
Zim shifted and helped Dib up. Dib broke the kiss, grabbing Zim's shirt and pulling it over his head. Zim tried with Dib's shirt, but the sling impeded him.
"Fuck it." Dib unhooked the thing and flung it aside. He'd put it back on after. He took his shirt off, grabbing Zim's arm and leading him to the bed, intense need on his face. Zim followed and pounced on top of Dib as he lay down. Dib looked up at him, touching and pulling, his actions frenzied. Pants were a thing of the past. They hugged close, feeling each others bodies. Zim raked his claws against Dib's skin, sending thrills up and down Dib's spine. Dib grabbed one of Zim's antenna and nibbled hard, biting from tip to base, causing Zim to shiver. When Dib finally released him, Zim nuzzled his neck the way he knew Dib liked.
"You say I distract you." Zim whispered into Dib's ear. "You make me forget." He nipped the lobe with his razor teeth and Dib gasped and moaned and squirmed, his hardened cock rolling and rubbing against Zim's equally stiff member. Zim clenched his teeth and thrust against Dib, friction creating delicious sensations.
"Zim." Dib clutched him, and they rolled together. Dib was on top, and leaned back so he was just kneeling, knowing his arm couldn't take the weight if he tried all fours. Zim gazed up at Dib for a moment, his body pale and free of any mark or blemish. Rising up suddenly, he took one of Dib's nipples in his teeth, grinning as he gnawed on it and saw Dib had to bite his lip to keep from crying out.
"I need to feel you inside me." Dib blurted. Startled, Zim let go of the nipple he was pulling and raised an antenna in question.
"Eh?" Looking down at Dib's penis. "I thought you were male!"
"I am, but...well, I don't know what they do on Irk, but we have a way around that."
Dib looked around, and reaching into his nightstand, he came back with a small squeeze bottle of Vaseline. He squeezed some into Zim's hand.
"It's oil based, but there's probably some water in it...does it sting?"
"Not much..." Zim rubbed it between his fingers. "It's a little hot...it's nice..." He looked at Dib. "What's in it?"
"Hydrocarbon polymers, some of the same properties as glue. Remember the paste? It protected you from water, so I was hoping..."
"It's great." Zim grinned up at Dib. "What's it for?"
"This." Dib lifted himself a bit and held Zim's hand, guiding it between his legs. Zim's eyes widened as his long middle finger disappeared inside Dib. Dib winced and moaned. He hadn't been stretched like this in a long time. The sensation was like a thousand tiny needles all pricking him at once. His eyes shut tight, he gasped. "Okay, wait. Lemme...get used to it."
"It doesn't hurt does it?" Dib shook his head.
"It hurts, but...it's worth it." Manipulating Zim's hand again, he had him add another finger. The pain was subsiding, giving over to hot ecstasy. Zim's fingers rolled around inside him, pleasure blossoming from every place he touched, which was everywhere. Dib groaned, unable to keep from vocalizing his approval. Zim rocked his hand slightly, fascinated by the response he was getting from Dib, who was now moaning and squirming. "God! Zimmm...fuck!" Dib grabbed Zim's wrist, jamming his fingers even further in. They were tantalizingly close, just catching the edge of that special place...
"Please..." Dib groaned.
"I think I get it." A devious grin slid across Zim's face as he slowly removed his digits and wrapped them around his throbbing tool, smearing the excess lube onto it. He hissed slightly at the vague burn. When his member was nice and slick, he positioned his cockhead against Dib's entrance.
"Ahhhh..." Dib's face was flushed from exertion as he carefully impaled himself.
"Easy...sloooowly...ahhhhh..." Zim's skin was developing a shine as he resisted the urge to thrust himself deeply and immediately into the tight heat that was Dib's ass. One hand kept his cock in place whilst Dib sank down, the other fisted the sheets under his palm, and he clenched his teeth, determined not to move, to let Dib go as slow as possible. Millimeter by millimeter, his cock slid into Dib, who's hisses turned to moans the further in he got. Finally, Zim was buried up the the hilt.
They lay that way for a moment, to let Dib adjust to this sweet intrusion.
"And you said you'd lost your 'Invader spirit.'" Dib panted, looking down at the alien. Zim chuckled, and, grabbing Dib's hips, raised the boy up. Then, looking into Dib's eyes, searching for any reluctance and finding none, slammed him back down onto his throbbing manhood.
Dib could not suppress the howl that erupted from his throat. The pleasure was unbelievable, like nothing he'd ever felt before. Electricity shot up and down his spine, his head, his thighs, his arms. His cock, already heavy, swelled and hardened to almost bursting.
Zim looked up at him, panting and smiling. "Ah...a-again?" He asked, his torso quivering with anticipation. Dib nodded.
This time, Zim did, or could, not stop. Dib was the wood and Zim was the drill. Grabbing as much flesh as he could, he pounded into Dib, his claws digging into his upper thighs and drawing little pinpricks of blood. Neither of them noticed or cared. Dib's cock bobbed up and down as he rode Zim feverishly.
Finally, Dib could feel Zim losing his grip on himself. His thrusts became erratic, uncoordinated. As his climax approached, he grabbed Dib's cock, massaging and pumping it. Dib, in his ecstasy, the edges of his vision blurring, looked down. As much as he loved the sex, the passion, the fervor, the one thing that always tipped him over the brink was Zim's face, raw and uninhibited, a face that Dib knew only he was allowed to glimpse.
Together, they screamed as Zim filled him and Dib spurted hot seed up to Zim's chin.
Dib fell, collapsing next to his partner, panting. Silence settled over them like a warm blanket.
After a while, Dib's voice returned to him.
"Oh my god Zim..." He gasped. "That was amazing!" Zim chuckled, grabbing a Kleenex and wiping off Dib's sperm. It was starting to burn.
"You say that every time we mate. I'm starting to think you don't really mean it." He flicked the tissue in the general direction of the trash. It missed, sticking to the wall instead.
"I can't help it. I guess you're just a great lay." Dib smiled, sighing contentedly, his body pleasantly aching. Zim turned to him, laying on his side. He seemed intent on saying something. "What?"
"Dib..." He cleared his throat. "We should do that every day." Dib's face cracked a grin, relaxing.
"We do it everyday already!" But Zim shook his head.
"I mean...not here. Not in this place."
"Oh..." Dib sat up. "It's hard for me to get around right now, but I can start coming over to your house more often, if that's what you want." Zim was shaking his head again.
"This apartment sucks. And yes, I like my place better. But...it could become OUR place." He looked up at Dib. "Come live with me."
Dib was struck to silence. Live with someone else? Sleep in the same bed? Eat waffles for breakfast together? He'd never had a relationship that went that far before. He'd always been a loner. And in the very house where his enemy used to plot his demise?
But...after his arm healed all the way...Zim wouldn't have any excuse to come visit him. It occurred to Dib that the Irken would probably be too proud to come if there wasn't a good reason. And the fact of it was, he didn't want this to end. Consciously or not, Dib had avoided thinking about what would happen when he was completely healthy.
"I don't know...that's a big step."
"It's nothing compared to what you have already accomplished."
"But...it'll be awkward won't it? I mean, then Gaz will know for sure..."
"She already knows." Zim gritted his teeth. Dib paled.
"Wh-what? When?"
"Early on." Zim grimaced, remembering how Gaz had forcefully pushed him against the outside wall, her voice low and threatening. "Even though my disguise is perfect, as you say, she knew immediately who I was." He grinned. "She wanted to make sure I wasn't going to hurt you. So I had to explain..."
"And you TOLD her?"
"She's...not to be underestimated. And she's very persuasive."
Dib slid a hand down his face in agitation.
"Okay...well that cat's out of the bag."
"So you'll move your things to my house then?"
"Moving anything heavy right now is out with this bum arm. Besides, I still haven't said yes."
"Say it then."
"I have to think about it Zim."
"I've already thought about it enough for the both of us!"
"Oh, really now?" Dib's face softened into a smile. Grinning, Zim lightly touched a finger under Dib's chin, persuading him to look directly in his eyes.
"You know you will succumb to me, worm-baby. You might as well just save yourself the time. I can use my shrinking technology and have your things moved out by tonight." Dib's smile suddenly faltered.
"Are you doing this because you still think...because I was...suicidal? Like...to keep an eye on me?" Zim straightened.
"Would it matter if I did?"
"Yes!" Dib's face darkened with anger. "I don't want to be just some PET or something that needs looking after! If I move in, I want it to be MY decision. I want you to need me there! I want-
"How about what I want, Dib." Zim got up and sat on Dib's outstretched legs, looking at the human face to face. "I want you to move in. Would you like to know why?” His voice lowered to a whisper. Dib understood this was because the words Zim were about to say were meant only for him. Zim barely ever whispered…unless it was very important. Zim stared at him. “It’s so I can see what you look like before you've showered.” A grin split Zim’s face as he said it. “Also, I want you to eat food that I prepared for you. And I want to hear you cry when we watch a sad movie, and then I want to send that movie to the corners of space for upsetting you. I want to try not to laugh as you dance around in your underwear when you think no one is looking." Zim suddenly cupped Dib head in his hands. "I want all these things and everything that has been denied me since I was banished from Irk. So...that's you. I want you to move into my place so I can watch you, that’s true. And by watch, I mean fuck. And by fuck, I mean love. So just. Say. Yes." Zim's face was very close, his huge red eyes capturing all of Dib's attention. He could not look away. There was nothing else worth looking at.
"Yes."
*********
To Lici: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you think Zim is a sexy beast, I think he's OoC myself, though I think he's OoC in most ZADR fics (unless you read any of Swing-21's work on ff.net. Check her stuff out!)
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