Adult-FanFiction.org : Cartoons

The Invader's Cookbook	By : FoxDragonKris Category: +G through L > Invader Zim > AU/AR-Alternate Universe-Alternate Reality Views: 2788 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Re-Uploaded because it cut off half of my reviews last time.
Holy Crap!!! Chapter 5!
Yes, I am alive, and I am still writing. Right now I’m getting S.S. open and under way about every 2-3 days, and averaging between ½ page and 2 pages depending on my mood. I’m hoping to start knocking out 2 pages a day but I can make no guarantees.
I’ve also started actually keeping up my LiveJournal page, under the name fox_dragon so I may put updates and info regarding the writing of S.S. there. I am the only person working on this story now, so there is basically no editing process. At all. Just me and my computer, which finally has Word so I at least have basic spell check function. Now, I could do a full edit on each chapter, which involved changing the format, printing it out, reading over it while I do other things, scribbling notes on the written page and taking it back to the comp for re-write, but that would add at least 2 more days to the process.
I figured for this chapter at least I would go right from initial read-over to posting.
So without further ado, here it be.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Dib pinched the bridge of his nose as he walked down the short hallway to his apartment. He hoped leaving Zim alone all day wasn’t a bad decision, but he had to go to the lab for the day. His dad was expecting him to start the processing of the new ‘sample’ right away and he had to find a way to sabotage it without arousing suspicions. His brain had been running around in circles all day, just trying to think of what he could do.
The key missed its target three times before he finally managed to land it in the lock and twist the door open with a deep sigh. The thought of falling onto his couch was a very, very tempting one...however his couch seemed to be covered in…
“Zim…. What’s with the boxes on the couch...?” They were everywhere really….
A green face poked out of the bedroom. “I did some shopping.”
“Shopping?” That couldn’t be good…
“Yes… you needed things...” He stepped out of the room, holding what looked like a pile of… pants.
“You bought me pants?”
“Slacks and jeans. And shirts, undershirts, socks, boxers, a couple of nice jackets, a vest a good pair of shoes, some sneakers, slippers, bath products, so-“
“ Bath products?!?!?”
Zim gave him a bland look. “All you had was a bar of soap, a can of shaving cream, an old disposable razor, toothpaste, and a toothbrush that looks an awful lot like the one you had as a kid…”
Dib’s face reddened but he couldn’t deny that it was true. “Well… what kind of, um… bath products did you get me then… not any of that… girly stuff right?”
Zim rolled his eyes. “Everything I purchased was designed for male humans Dib-stink.” He grinned. “And if you actually use them I may not have to call you Dib-stink”
“Oh hardy har har… wait… how did you buy all this... I didn’t leave you my account number…” Oh god… this stuff had to have cost an arm and a leg…
“I have human moneys Dibber.” Zim said simply over his shoulder as he returned to the bedroom to finish putting away the things he had decided that his mate needed.
Dib followed him in, looking over what he had bought, wondering where he was going to put it all... then he saw the dresser. “And you bought furniture….”
“The bed frame, side table, entertainment center and bookshelf arrive on Thursday.”
“……………………….”
“I decided to wait on the new couch and coffee table until we get a better living space and know what we’ll need for the whole place. And I looked at baby items as well.”
“………………..”
Zim held up a button down shirt against his chest. “Mmmm… I knew this color would be good for your skin.”
“………………… Zim?”
“Yes?”
“……………… Ok……….. Just checking…………… I thought for a minute I wandered into the apartment of some other guy who had knocked up his alien nemesis…”
Zim gave him a funny look then laid the shirt back on the bed with the other shirts he had gotten and went to the bathroom. “I also took the liberty of buying some more towels, a bathroom rug and shower basket for the soaps”
Oh yes… the buying…”So how did you get the money for this stuff?”
Zim shrugged as he folded the new (dark blue) towels and stacked them in the previously near-bare cabinet. “The human stock market operates in a similar manner to an electronic game played by irkin’s in training… less flashing lights or loud noises of course but it was an otherwise simple task of turning a small amount of moneys into a larger one.”
“………………. You played the stock market???”
Zim shrugged again.
Rubbing his hand over his face Dib sighed and tried to absorb this new knowledge. “……….. What else did you buy?”
Zim seemed to think for a moment. “That’s pretty much it... oh, and some stuff for the kitchen. Plates, cups, silverware, napkins… groceries.”
Dib winced. “Yea... I forgot to go shopping this week….”
The look Zim gave him made it very clear that the irkin did not believe that he had missed shopping that week, but rather that he had missed shopping every week. “All you had in your refrigerator was a bottle of ketchup, and some pop tarts. Why were the pop tarts in the refrigerator?”
“…. The ketchup was lonely… It needed a friend…”
Zim gave him a bland look. “Well now it has many friends. Some of them are even other condiments, mustard, mayonnaise, you know, its own species.”
Dib grinned wryly and slid his arms around Zim’s waist, hugging him from behind. “Mmm… sticking with your own species is overrated…” He nuzzled the green neck to prove his point, kissing the smooth arc of skin.
Zim sighed and leaned back against him, relaxing in the warmth of his body. Just knowing that Dib was there was so comforting. Not that he needed comforting of course, and certainly not from some skinny human! But still, it was instinct, wanting a partner to share the task of child-rearing with.
And if it took telling himself that to make it acceptable then he would just have to tell himself that every day until he didn’t need to anymore.
Humming a little bit Dib swayed, slowly moving Zim’s hips with his. “I’ve been trying to think of ways to destroy the ‘sample’ without it being obvious… you have any idea’s?”
Zim closed his eyes and focused on the soft puffs of Dib’s breath on his neck. “… Without making it clear the sample was tampered with? …. I don’t know Dibber… we may have to collect more material and… experiment.”
Dib chuckles lightly, spinning Zim in his arms and kissing him softly. “I had a feeling it might come down to that.” He gave the other a serious look. “Now this is real science you know, no mucking about… we have to be completely clinical and serious about this.”
Zim gave him a mild look and tweaked his nose, slipping from his arms. “You want your sample? Come and get it!” He challenged, slipping past the human and darting towards the bedroom.
Laughing Dib tried to catch him as he squeezed past but missed, arms grabbing air as he lunged after his lover. “You little brat! Come back here!”
Zim grabbed the few things he still spread out on the bed and dumped them to the side, turning just as Dib made it into the room and then he was caught up in the human’s arms. Pulled up and close into a strong possessive embrace and kissed deeply, he moaned as Dib’s hands wandered down his backside. He teased the waistband of the invader’s pants before slipping inside and grabbing the firm globes of flesh and massaging them slowly, drawing a deep purr from the irkin.
Still kissing him, Dib pushed the alien back towards the bed, falling onto him as he collapsed onto the sheets. “God… I’ve been thinking about this all day… thinking about you…” He pushed Zim’s shirt up and trailed a line of kisses down his slim chest to where the belly button would have been on a human. “Thinking about this…” he kissed the other’s stomach slowly. “Whoever it is that hiding in here and how excited I am about getting to meet him or her someday.” He looked up at the irkin from where he was resting on the other’s body.
Zim stared at the human, eyes widened slightly at the admission. “Dib…”
Grinning he pushed up off the bed and swept up to kiss Zim again.
Groaning Zim wrapped his arms around Dib’s neck, claws teasing at the nape of his hair as he brought a leg up to hook over the other’s hip.
Dib smiled against the other’s mouth as he reached down again, fumbling with the zipper of Zim’s pants with one hand while the other braced his weight on the wall. “You make green so sexy…”
Zim moaned again, arcing off the bed and up into Dib’s hand as it pushed into his pants. “Ahhh… Dib….” He twisted and squirmed on the bed as Dib teased him, fingers sliding slowly alongside his flesh, not quite grasping it. “Please…”
“Please what?” Dib grinned evilly, leaning in close to Zim’s face then pulling back as the other tried to kiss him.
Zim let out a frustrated cry. “Please!” He was already on fire! It had to be hormones, or something like that… this couldn’t be normal, he couldn’t react like this to the human’s touch for the rest of his life, he would go insane!
Dib decided to take mercy on him and sat back, pulling Zim’s pants off and pushing his own down. “Man, you’re really into this today…” The irkin was already looked ready to burst, his ridged cock drooling a steady stream of precum. He dipped his fingers into the small pool of blue ejaculate, spreading it over his hand before firmly grasping Zim’s length and pumping slowly.
Zim keened and nearly bucked off the bed, his body reacting to the touch without his mind’s permission. He dug his claws into the bed-sheets when Dib started to stretch him, pulling his legs up and as wide as he could, everything in him burned at the humans touch and all he could focus on was hoe much he wanted, needed more.
Looking down at his flushed lover Dib was amazed at how eager he was, and so suddenly. An idea flashed in his mind and grinning he pulled away for a moment, ignoring the distraught cry from Zim as he dug under his mattress for a moment.
“Dibber!” Zim gasped as the contact left him. “Wha- what are you doing! Damnit Dib I need… I-“ He cut off sharply as something cool smooth and wide was pushed against his opening, it wasn’t Dib which was a disappointment, but it was going in him, and that was very, very good. “Ahhnnnn!!! What?!”
Dib gave him a wry grin and twisted the vibrator as he pushed it in. “Oh… it’s a little toy I got from this very strange girl I used to know, but I think this is a much better use.”
Had his brain not been exploding in a multitude of little lights as the wide round toy stretched him so nicely, Zim might have found the idea of some … girl giving HIS mate a dildo rather a bit annoying.
Shifting one of Zim’s legs up over his shoulder to give him a better angle, Dib pushed the toy fully into his lover and turned it on, on the lowest setting, gripping the thin green ankle by his face tightly as Zim’s reaction was to stiffen suddenly then start a wild squirming.
The irkin was saying something, or trying to, but the words were unintelligible as he tried to gasp for breath and scream at the same time.
Feeling rather a bit evil, Dib pulled the toy slowly out until it was nearly clear of Zim’s body then, twisting it up to the second setting he thrust it back in suddenly. His eyes widened as Zim arced and came right then, splattering thick creamy blue jizz on both their chests with the force of his orgasm.
“Jeeze… you’re really into this tonight…”
Zim gasped for breath, body slick with a thin layer of sweat, eyes closed. “Hormones… I blame hormones”
Dib chuckled again and carefully pulled the toy from the twitching irkin. “Hormones, huh? I guess that makes sense. Or not.” He moved to place his own dick against Zim’s wet hole, the groan he received at the action spurred him to lightly stroke Zim’s stomach and side. “Shhhh…. I’m gunna take it easy on ya… nice and slow…”
Zim didn’t believe him, sex was never nice and slow. It was hard and fast, a flurry of sudden sensations and hard release and it was over. Slow? Must be some weird human idea.
Still petting Zim’s thigh Dib buried himself carefully and paused, giving Zim a chance to catch his breath. He waited patiently for the other, comfortable to be in him, with him, petting his skin softly and surrounded by his incredible heat.
Once he judged that the irkin had calmed enough he began to move, slow steady strokes, careful not to over-do anything after Zim’s earlier wild orgasm.
Zim squeezed his eyes shut as the human started to move again, he was still hyper-sensitive from his orgasm and somehow the slow movements made that worse! It seemed like he could feel every smooth veined inch of Dib within him. Soon he was gasping and panting again, tightening and stretching beneath the human, his opinion of this whole ‘slow’ business changed completely.

“Ahh… Dib…” He seemed to sigh his lovers’ name.
Smiling softly Dib slid Zim’s leg off his shoulder so he could lean down; covering the irkin’s body with his own. He rested their heads together and continued his slow, deep penetration. “You’re mine now Zim… every bit of you, everything that you are is mine.”
Zim’s arms rose up to wrap around behind him, the alien responding to the low murmured words with another small cry and a gasped agreement. “Yes…”
“That’s right...” Gently Dib kissed the others shoulder, neck and finally mouth, slipping a hand between their bodies to find Zim’s once again hard length, pumping it in the same slow rhythm as his thrusts.
Zim gritted his teeth and clenched his hands into fists to avoid dragging a deep trail of claw marks down Dib’s back, he had already peaked once, and he would not fall over the edge first!
Dib could tell that Zim was holding back, but he didn’t mind, let the irkin have his fun. Besides, he had already put on quite the show…
Gripping the thick green shaft firmly he rose up a bit, changing his angle and pushing deeper into the other, his orgasm was teasing him, just out of reach. He was almost there.
Zim groaned loudly as he felt Dib peak within him, the sudden rush of wet heat into his insides driving him to finish as well and he held his mate close as Dib collapsed onto him, sweaty and panting.
“Ahh… that was… much more fun than I was expecting it to be…”
Dib looked at his mate as he wiped them clean with the edge of a sheet. “What? Don’t like slow sex?”
Zim rolled onto his stomach, glancing over his shoulder at the human. “Never tried it.”
Dib flipped the clean side of the sheets over them and laid down, snagging Zim’s body with his arm and pulling them close together. “As long as you’ve been alive and you’ve never had slow sex?”
Zim shrugged and curled into his embrace, exhausted body ready to sleep. “Not really an irkin thing… slow.”
“… Yea, I guess I can see that.” Dib reached over to turn off the lamp, it wasn’t fully dark outside yet, but as far as he was concerned, it was bedtime.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
A huge thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story, and to those who commented on the update. Without the feedback from you guys I probably would have never gotten the initiative to get back in the saddle with this story.
As mentioned, I dedicate this chapter to BotOfBlood, and everyone else who left kind words of encouragement for me.
So then,
Angle-of-Darkness : I am sorry too that our friendship has reached this end, most especially since all I desire is peace with lledra, after all, she is roommates with my bf, who is her bf’s best friend. I don’t want things to be uncomfortable because of this, but she continues to ignore every attempt I make at creating a peace. So I have decided to just go on. If she wants to make things difficult for her friends because of her issues, its her business, I have done everything within my power to make amends and been ignored at every turn.
LoneHowler : That picture was actually what sparked this making of this story, and the exact story of that picture is available on my dA page, under the name “Sounds Good”. That is the story of Summer Walk when I gave Michael and Seraph their names and this whole insane world began to take shape. Glad to see your reading, hope you enjoy!
Bot Of Blood: Don’t think I listed you last because I didn’t want to get to you! I put you last because I figured this reply would be the longest and I didn’t want to bore everyone by making them sort through it!
OMG your doing exactly what I do with my favorite fics! When I find a story that I really really love, I always do my review in a second window, so I read the chapter, open the review in a window, and read the chapter again as I review it. Then I tend to cut and paste the text into a word document and save it on my HD so if the website is up or the net is being wonky I can re-read my favorite stories <_<;;;
Yes, Membrain is an idiot. BUT! I actually have an explanation in mind for why he’s so clueless so you will just have to wait and see wont you?
Your not an r-tard! I like wordplay so don’t worry if you miss stuff. (heck… every title that appears in this story, including the main title, does and will have a wordplay reference, these first two are the most obvious, IMHO, and if you can guess them I may give you a cookie!)
Hey, I doubled my prons!!! XP Just for you ^_^ (the original workup of that scene Dib got off just watching Zim… I gave you a bit extra cuz you give me so much luff.
Oh hey, if you like crossover stories, good well written ones, go check out an author named JoIsBishMyoga. She does some AMAZING works, I wish she wrote for the ZADR fanworld because this fandom is in desperate need of some higher caliber fanfiction. No offense to any ZADR writers, even I don’t consider S.S. to be anywhere near what she can do. And I have yet to find a single ZADR fanfic that gives me the sheer amount of WOW that her HP/YYH fic The Best Defense does. She also writes a Naruto/YYh xover Bloodsport that is quite amazing as well. Heck, everything I’ve seen by her (even the stuff for series I’ve never heard of) is awesome.
I consider myself somewhat of a fanfiction aficionado in that I have been reading fanfiction for… oh god about 10 years now and wow that makes me feel old, but since well before ff.net or aff.net came into being and man have I seen some craptastic writing! I’ve been lucky enough to find some real gems to so there are a few authors that I will recommend for a good read, again JoIsBishMyoga has dominated the top of the list for a few years now. Anyone else I would have to go into my archives and look up names so if your looking for good stuff in a certain fandom let me know which one, if I know a good writer for that fandom I’ll plug them for ya. ^_^
And lookie, your ½ page review got a ¾ page reply ^_^
- 5
- 6
- 7
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

The Invader's Cookbook