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The Lima Bean Revue	By : radatrix Category: +S through Z > Xiaolin Showdown Views: 2803 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Xiaolin Showdown, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
Jack settled into life back at the lair pretty easily. He would usually stay at home while Chase went out on evil business. Jack enjoyed long baths in Chase's gigantic stone bathtub, which was really more of a pool than a bathtub. "Chase!" Jack cooed from his seat in the pool-tub, which he had made into a bubble bath with generous amounts of Mr. Bubble.

"What is it, my precious?" Chase came around the corner and into the boudoir.

"Join me." Jack batted his eyelashes.

"In the bath?" Chase asked doubtfully.

"Of course, dummy." Jack playfully splashed in the direction of Chase.

"Oh fine, but I have to go find my swimming trunks. They're in my closet somewhere."

Jack looked disappointed. "You wear swimming trunks in the bath?"

"It's really more of a pool, Jack."

"No, it's just a really large bath. Besides, right now it's a bubble bath and, well, I'm not wearing a swimsuit.” Jack stood up to reveal his naked body.

"Oh, I see." Chase looked at him lecherously. A little creeped out, Jack sat back into the pink water.

Chase stripped off his robes and slid into the hot water. "I wish this thing had jets." Jack whined.

"Well, it doesn't. It was built thousands of years ago, before they had any concept of that."

"That's not true," Jack corrected, "We learned in World History..."

"Shut up."

"Okay."

Chase waded over to where Jack was sitting and put his arm around Jack's skinny shoulders. "Jack, I..."

Just then they heard a loud bang and saw a bunch of smoke. Suddenly Wuya was in the bath with them. "Hello, boys," she said, trying to play it cool but obviously surprised to have materialized in the bathtub with the two of them.

"You have to stop showing up unannounced like this!" Chase snapped.

"Yeah!" Jack added, "We could've been ... you know..."

"Oh, whatever, I don't have time for this," Wuya said. "I came to get the Changing Chopsticks."

"We haven't had a chance to get them yet," Chase responded.

"We've been a little busy. It's hard work settling back in,” Jack added annoyingly.

Wuya looked at Chase disgustedly, ignoring Jack's presence altogether. "You've gone soft on me, old boy. Have the Chopsticks for me by tomorrow."

"How about two days? We have a trip to the conservatory planned for tomorrow," Jack bargained.

"No!" Wuya shrieked. "Well, I must be off. I have opera tickets."

With that, Wuya was off.

"Well, Jack, we had better stop dilly-dallying and get that wu," Chase said.

Jack looked at him all teary-eyed. "You'll never understand!" he screamed, bursting into tears. He then ran away, arms flailing, to the bedroom, where he collapsed on the bed.

Chase was right behind him. "Jack, what now?" Chase asked.

"I just hate how she treats me. It's like I'm not even there."

"Ah. Well, you need to do something to make her respect you."

Jack looked up at him, eye makeup smeared all over his ivory face. "Like what?"

"Well, why don't you get her the Changing Chopsticks? Then she'll be sure to respect you."

"What a brilliant idea." Jack perked up. "I'm going to go get them right now. Those stupid monks won't know what hit them."

"Um." Chase paused. "You might want to fix your eye makeup first."

"I kind of like this effect," Jack said, looking into the compact he always kept with him, just in case.

"Well, it's terrible."

"Fine."

XXX

Jack tuned a knob on his helipack to a newly installed setting — silent.

'They won't know what hit 'em.' he thought to himself. He silently landed in the courtyard of the Xiaolin Temple. He tiptoed over to the tower where the Shen Gong Wu were kept. Raimundo was sitting in a chair by the door, but loud snores alerted Jack to his
ineffectiveness. Jack turned the knob and let himself in. 'They still don't have a lock? This is too easy,’ Jack thought. He looked around until he found the Changing Chopsticks. "Aha!" he said out loud. Just then, he heard a loud siren and the spiral staircase he was standing on tuned into a slide. He fell on his perky butt and started to slide down until he landed in a cell at the bottom. The iron door to the cell slammed and locked behind him.

"Jack Spicer!" said Omi, obviously pleased with himself. "I knew you would come for those sooner or later."

"Let me out of here, cue ball," Jack yelped.

"Not so fast! Now hand over our wu."

"No way."

"Orb of Tornami," Omi shouted, holding out his Orb of Tornami. A powerful jet of water emanated from it, dousing Jack. The Chopsticks flew out of hand. They landed in the water on the ground, and washed right out of the cell and onto Omi's foot. Omi bent down and picked them up. "You had to do it the hard way."

Just then Clay lumbered down the stairs, which had turned back into stairs by that point. He was wearing pajamas with a matching sleeping cap. "What's all the ruckus?" he asked stupidly.

Omi turned around and answered. "I have caught Jack Spicer trying to steal our wu!"

"Well, what are you going to do with him now?"

"I don't know," Omi replied.

"Why don't you just let me go? I promise, I'll never do it again," Jack pleaded.

"Do you think we're stupid, pardner? You've tried to steal our wu more times than a cowgirl with a toothache—" Clay was cut off rudely.

"Enough!" Jack broke into tears. "Oh, nothing ever goes my way."

"I say we kill him," Kimiko said, emerging from the shadows.
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