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CAUGHT!!!!	By : Ramsey Category: +1 through F > Daria Views: 16280 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Daria, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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“Okay, considering you can’t trap the student body in the gym and threaten them with death, which I wouldn’t be against mind you, how do you plan on doing this?”

Jane had a very good point! How did you go about finding out something like the masturbation rate of your high school?

“Come with me,” Daria said. Knowing something interesting was about to happen Jane followed.

Daria made a quick pit stop at Upchuck’s locker.

“Hey, Upchuck,” Daria said. “Can I borrow your camera? I know you carry one all the time?”

Upchuck gave his heart melting and stomach churning leer of a smile. “Ladies! Now how do you know I carry a camera, hmmm?”

“Because everyday at 2:15 you hide in the girls locker room to take photos of the cheerleaders undressing.” Jane filled in.

Upchuck looked like he had been hit with a sledgehammer. Sweat broke out on his waxy forehead as he gulped nervously. “Uhh…I have no idea what you mean….”

“Don’t screw with us, Upchuck,” Daria challenged. “ We know what you do. The only reason you even get away with it is a) because we don’t care and b) they’re too vapid to hear a faint clicking sound. Just lend me your camera for a sec and then you can go back to your perverted lecherous ways!”

Upchuck sweated for a second before hanging his head, reached into his locker and took out a camera with a telescopic lens and handed it over to Daria.

“Thanks,” Jane said with a smirk. “And tell anyone of this transaction and you’ll know the rage of 20 pom-poms bashing you over the head!”

Still not looking the two blackmailers in the eyes he nodded at the ground. Both girls grinned to each other and left him sulking.

“So just what are we going to do with a camera” Jane asked. Marching along towards the gym area Daria simply said you’ll see.

Daria rounded a corner and headed for the door of the boys locker room, not breaking stride. ‘No she isn’t,” Jane thought to herself as she followed. ‘She wouldn’t!’ Daria readied the camera as she walked and burst right through the door ahead of Jane, taking quick snap shots all around her of the very naked football team.

As she snapped away at the surprised jocks Daria thought how weird it was that she could take naked pictures of the football team, zooming in on strategic areas, and not even flinch, but she tries to look at herself down there and she hyperventilates.

All the jocks had now caught on and were dashing about covering themselves with towels and yelling at Daria.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Get the fuck outta hear!”

“This is the boys fucking locker room!”

Jane walked in after Whistled appreciatively at all the semi-nude football flesh. “You know, usually when I have this dream all of you are in loin cloths and I’m Queen Cleopatra.”

None of the jocks seemed to find that funny at the moment.

“All right, here’s the deal,” Daria began. “I'm going to ask some question. You’re going to answer them. If you don’t, the whole school sees just how small your dicks are.” There was a loud uproar.

“Hell no, you crazy bitch!”

“Fuck you, skank!”

“Suck me cock, dyke!”

“Are they really that small?”

Daria zoomed in on this voice. It was one of the three J’s huddled in a corner with the other two. Damned if she could remember which one but she would use him anyway.

“I’m afraid so,” Daria said with mock resignation. “Your all below the national average. Experts say that extreme amounts of physical endurance can stunt the growth of the male sex organs.” Of course this was all bullshit but looks of fear passed over most of their faces. She was after all a brain and would know about these things.

A second J said, “So football made all of our dicks shrink?”

“Yep,” Jane piped in, wanting to torture the ignorants a bit. “Your all on the low side of the package court because of it.”

Now the fear was palatable in the locker room as it spread like a virus through underused brain cells.

“So what do you want?” Kevin said. He wasn’t immediately visible until other players moved to show him quite naked and holding his priceless jewels in his hands like an old miser hording treasure.

“As I said just answer my questions and no one gets hurt,” Daria said. Unable to resist pounding her point home she added. “I’m sure Brittany would love to know why there are naked pictures of you hanging on the walls of school.”

Jane got in on the action and said, “and Daria, I’m sure Quinn would love to see the itty-bitty-cocktail-weenies on the three J’s over there.” The 3 J’s shook in fear.

“Too true, Jane.” Daria turned back to the room and said, “Now, who’s going to cooperate?”

Whoever was able to raise a hand without displaying too much did and the rest murmured yes.

“All right,” Daria said as she and Jane went to sit down. They noticed that all the benches were wet with sweat and shower water. “First we need some towels to sit on. Right now!” Daria brandished the camera again. All ready well trained by Quinn the three J’s got them and laid them out.

Daria got comfortable and said, “okay, first question, “who here in this room masturbates?”

There was a moment of shocked silence before every single free hand went up. The ones who couldn’t simply nodded. Jane grinned and Daria frowned. She looked at Jane, capturing her attention from the naked jocks and said, “Okay, so these oversexed jocks do, doesn’t mean a thing.”

“Right,” Jane drawled.

“Whatever,” Daria said. “All right, how many of you have girlfriends?”

This time most of the jocks did but not all. The three J’s got into an argument about who was dating Quinn and Jane quickly silenced them with a warning.

“Okay, and how many of you know for sure that your girlfriends masturbate?” Daria asked.

This time nobody raised there hand. But then one timid hand rose very low.

“Hey you!” Jane said with command, loving this. “Front and centre!”

The timid football player scampered forward with down cast eyes. Neither girl knew him.

“So who is your girlfriend?” Daria asked with some interest. Sure she technically was looking for girls who didn’t masturbate but this was too good to pass up.

The jock mumbled something that they couldn’t hear.

“What?” both girls said at once.

The jock looked around nervously, leaned in and whispered a name that shocked the two girls to the very foundations of their souls!

“...Sandi Griffin…”
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CAUGHT!!!!