Eric Cartman Must Die
folder
+S through Z › South Park
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
8
Views:
3,412
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
+S through Z › South Park
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
8
Views:
3,412
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own South Park, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Break, Enter, And Run Away Like A Girl
Eric Cartman Must Die, Act 6
A/N: This is a short chapter and sets itself up for Act 7, which will most likely be the last installment.
WARNING: Just like the first 5 acts, this one also has language and violence. Read at your own risk.
DISCLAIMER: The day these characters will belong to me is the day our world will be invaded by Crab People.
[Scott Tenorman's house, minutes later. Cartman, Stan, and Kyle stroll up the front sidewalk to the house. The property is overwhelmed by weeds, and the house itself is in ruination.]
Stan: Whhe hhe hell are we doing here, Cartman?
Cartman: That son of a bitch has to be living somewhere, doesn't he? We're here to check his place out.
Stan: Yeah, okay. But what makes you sure we'll find anything important?
Cartman: [looks at Stan] About that psychopath? There's gotta be somethin' here. [kicks in Scott's front door, and all three enter. There's no lights on and the house is eerily dark.] ALL RIGHT!! SHOW YOURSELF YOU PUSSIFIED DICKSUCKER!!! I'LL KICK YOUR GIRLY ASS BACK TO HELL!!!
Stan: Whoa dude!
[Cartman's House. Liane enters and is about to take off her coat when a knock sounds at the door.]
Liane: Coming! [waddles to the door and opens it] Oh, you must be one of Eric's little friends. I don't think he's home right now.
[Scott's house, cutback.]
Kyle: [looks around] I don't think that he's here, fatass.
[Cartman ignores Kyle. Instead, he sees something in the corner of the room. He crosses over to it, piggish eyes widening.]
Cartman: Holy shit!
Stan/Kyle: What is it?
[The two boys walk over and see what Cartman is staring at.]
Kyle: Holy god dude!
[The puddle with the word CARTMAN in it is still there, completely dried by this point but still readable.]
Cartman: See! See! I told you gahs he was out to get me!!
Stan: Let's get outta here!
[They turn to leave back out the front door, but stop in horror.]
Stan/Cartman/Kyle: Holy fucking shit!!
[Scott leers at them, blocking the front doorway.]
Scott: I was wondering when you douches would show up.
Kyle: Get upstairs!
[The three boys run up the stairs. Scott doesn't chase them. Let them leave. He'll get them later.]
[Scott's old bedroom. Kyle rushes in first, followed by Cartman. Stan slams and locks the door behind him.]
Stan: What now?!
Kyle: [looks around. There are no other doors.] Let's get out the window! [They do so, landing in a weed-ridden soft dirt flower bed, presumably made by Scott's dead mother, in the backyard. The sound of Cartman hitting the ground is akin to the noise of a Airliner about to land.]
Stan: Christ, fatass. You need to lose weight. Let's get out of here!
[They all run away.]
[Cartman's house, minutes later. Cartman, walking alone, sees his mother's car in the driveway. Oh, good. Maybe she'll make him some powdered donut pancake surprise. He goes into his house.]
Cartman: Maaaa!
[No answer. Only silence.]
Cartman: Maaaa!
[Still nothing.]
Cartman: Son of a bitch! [notices a paper on the kitchen table.] What the hell? [He picks up the paper and reads it.]
Scott: [V.O.] "Dear Fatass, I have your mother. If you ever want to see her alive again, meet me in an hour. You know where. Signed, Scott Tenorman."
Cartman: SON OF A BITCH! Now who's gonna make me Powdered Donut Pancake Surprise?!
To Be Continued.
Next Chapter: Cartman Vs. Tenorman, at long last, in a showdown that could mean the death of a core character as well as the end of the fic. Be here next time to see how it all ends.
A/N: This is a short chapter and sets itself up for Act 7, which will most likely be the last installment.
WARNING: Just like the first 5 acts, this one also has language and violence. Read at your own risk.
DISCLAIMER: The day these characters will belong to me is the day our world will be invaded by Crab People.
[Scott Tenorman's house, minutes later. Cartman, Stan, and Kyle stroll up the front sidewalk to the house. The property is overwhelmed by weeds, and the house itself is in ruination.]
Stan: Whhe hhe hell are we doing here, Cartman?
Cartman: That son of a bitch has to be living somewhere, doesn't he? We're here to check his place out.
Stan: Yeah, okay. But what makes you sure we'll find anything important?
Cartman: [looks at Stan] About that psychopath? There's gotta be somethin' here. [kicks in Scott's front door, and all three enter. There's no lights on and the house is eerily dark.] ALL RIGHT!! SHOW YOURSELF YOU PUSSIFIED DICKSUCKER!!! I'LL KICK YOUR GIRLY ASS BACK TO HELL!!!
Stan: Whoa dude!
[Cartman's House. Liane enters and is about to take off her coat when a knock sounds at the door.]
Liane: Coming! [waddles to the door and opens it] Oh, you must be one of Eric's little friends. I don't think he's home right now.
[Scott's house, cutback.]
Kyle: [looks around] I don't think that he's here, fatass.
[Cartman ignores Kyle. Instead, he sees something in the corner of the room. He crosses over to it, piggish eyes widening.]
Cartman: Holy shit!
Stan/Kyle: What is it?
[The two boys walk over and see what Cartman is staring at.]
Kyle: Holy god dude!
[The puddle with the word CARTMAN in it is still there, completely dried by this point but still readable.]
Cartman: See! See! I told you gahs he was out to get me!!
Stan: Let's get outta here!
[They turn to leave back out the front door, but stop in horror.]
Stan/Cartman/Kyle: Holy fucking shit!!
[Scott leers at them, blocking the front doorway.]
Scott: I was wondering when you douches would show up.
Kyle: Get upstairs!
[The three boys run up the stairs. Scott doesn't chase them. Let them leave. He'll get them later.]
[Scott's old bedroom. Kyle rushes in first, followed by Cartman. Stan slams and locks the door behind him.]
Stan: What now?!
Kyle: [looks around. There are no other doors.] Let's get out the window! [They do so, landing in a weed-ridden soft dirt flower bed, presumably made by Scott's dead mother, in the backyard. The sound of Cartman hitting the ground is akin to the noise of a Airliner about to land.]
Stan: Christ, fatass. You need to lose weight. Let's get out of here!
[They all run away.]
[Cartman's house, minutes later. Cartman, walking alone, sees his mother's car in the driveway. Oh, good. Maybe she'll make him some powdered donut pancake surprise. He goes into his house.]
Cartman: Maaaa!
[No answer. Only silence.]
Cartman: Maaaa!
[Still nothing.]
Cartman: Son of a bitch! [notices a paper on the kitchen table.] What the hell? [He picks up the paper and reads it.]
Scott: [V.O.] "Dear Fatass, I have your mother. If you ever want to see her alive again, meet me in an hour. You know where. Signed, Scott Tenorman."
Cartman: SON OF A BITCH! Now who's gonna make me Powdered Donut Pancake Surprise?!
To Be Continued.
Next Chapter: Cartman Vs. Tenorman, at long last, in a showdown that could mean the death of a core character as well as the end of the fic. Be here next time to see how it all ends.