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Kiss of Fire	By : Spleef Category: Avatar - The Last Airbender > General Views: 75165 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 1
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Kiss of Fire

Epilogue – Sweet Tomorrow, part 4

The names I chose for Adi's children/Zuko's grandchildren have particular meaning. Following the vein of Jewish names for Toph, Adi, and Levi, I decided to follow that for their children. Gili – my joy, Aitan – inferno (I felt this appropriate for a grandson of the mighty Fire Lord), Eyal – mighty, and Inbar – amber (following Adi's name which means jewel)

Without further ado, the final installment of the epilogue of Kiss of Fire!

o0o0o0o

61 Years ASC (1162)

Katara

Sometimes when I looked into the mirror, it was hard to connect the image in front of me to the person I was. Was this person with crow's feet and gray-streaked hair really me? The first time I went to Sozun was when I was fifteen, with Zuko as we went to confront Azula. The second time, I was seventeen, just married to Zuko and about to be crowned Fire Lady. And now here I was, four decades into my tenure as Fire Lady.

My next birthday would be my sixtieth. If not for Azula, then my seventy-fifth. Sometimes I did consider myself to be that old since I remembered my former life so well and just added it to this one in my head, especially given the fact that I thought of myself as Katara, and Zuko called me that in private. I had a rich collection of memories, indeed. Back then, before the War ended, I simply couldn't have ever imagined myself at seventy-five. Yet here I was, with children, grandchildren, and soon, great-grandchildren. When I first met Kuzon, he was the most adorable little five-year-old child I had ever seen, and now he was nearly fifty, with a son who was about to be married.

“Where did all the time go?” I asked myself as I looked at my reflection, twirling a lock of brown-gray hair with my finger..

“Hm?” I heard Zuko say. I turned around to see him nestled comfortably in my bed, the blue comforter pulled up to his chin. I smiled and rose to my feet after putting down my hairbrush, approaching the bed and climbing into it, feeling the warmth that Zuko's body exuded.

“I was just thinking of us during the War. And then I look at us now and I think to myself, where did all that time go?”

“Time flies when you're having fun.” he quipped dryly.

“It certainly did.” I let out a slow sigh. “Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if Azula hadn't...”

“Don't. It's in the past.” His hand reached under the covers to touch mine.

“Sometimes I can't help but wonder. And then I think about how lonely you were after....” I stopped before talking about my death. It was very painful for him – and me – so we avoided direct mention of it. “Thinking back on it, I can't blame you for wanting to rush me here when you found me in Omashu.”

“We made up for lost time, didn't we?” he asked, his gaze filled with the same love and warmth that I had seen in them sixty years ago. If anything, our love had only grown through the years, strengthening our bond and affection for one another. We complemented one another so well, weathering our personal conflicts or the troubles in the world that still lingered after the war. Though the role of Fire Lady had intimidated me at first, I grew into the role and even came to enjoy it and helping my husband.

“We did indeed, my lord.”

“You know the rule, Katara.” Zuko playfully chided. “In this room, I am not the Fire Lord. I am simply the man who loves you.” He wiggled closer, draping his arm across my middle. I gently ran my fingers along his face and hair, not missing how dark my skin looked like against his white hair. I twirled one of the long, pale locks between my fingers. Despite its color, he still had a full head of hair, and I can freely admit that even as an old man he is still rather hot. How many women are lucky enough to be able to say that?

He put his head on my shoulder, and I pressed my lips to his temple before my fingers traveled to his scar. I stared upwards at the golden phoenix and dragon that stood out in relief on the ceiling. Just as Zuko had the dragon above his bed as a representation of Agni and the power of the Fire Lord, so this motif stood above the Fire Lady's bed. The Phoenix was there to remind the Fire Lady of her role and to embrace the qualities of the creature – beautiful, ethereal, and graceful. The dragon was there to remind her of her service to the Fire Lord. It was one of the few things in my room that wasn't changed despite the impressive renovations otherwise. The walls in here were covered with wallpaper of varying shades of blue, the floor had received a similar treatment with carpet, and not one scrap of red was to be seen within this chamber, not even on Zuko, who had donned a robe of black. I smirked faintly as I looked up at the phoenix, wondering just how many Fire Ladies had laid here, looking up at the bird and contemplating their relationship with their husband.

o0o0o0o

61 Years ASC (Late Winter, 1163)

Zuko

One day in late winter, the royal physician asked to see me personally. Sylid had died nearly a couple of decades earlier, and his grand-nephew had stepped into the role. He was an able man, and one of the patients under his care was my father. Even though Ozai was technically no longer a royal, Sylid had continued to care for him after his dethronement, and this continued under the new physician.

“Is something the matter?” I asked as he stood before me, looking rather solemn in his high-collared black and red robe, his hands folded behind his back. He nodded slowly.

“My lord, your father is very ill.”

I raised my eyebrow. Ozai had tried several times before to get out of his prison by feigning illness, but Sylid had seen through them one way or another.

“I am aware of his history, my lord. My uncle left me all medical records regarding your father. I have examined him myself, and I am forced to conclude that this time, he is not bluffing.”

I let out a slow sigh. Sometimes I was amazed at how long Ozai lasted in prison. Six decades he had been in the Imperial Dungeon, which was more than half of his lifetime. He had been denied the pleasures he had once enjoyed as Fire Lord. He couldn't take a walk in the gardens. He couldn't enjoy the company of concubines. He had no one to play Pai Sho or other games with. He had to eat what was given him; he did not have the Imperial Kitchens to cater to his palate. Hot baths? Forget it. He was there to be punished, not to be made comfortable.

Even though the guards reported to me that he exercised every day in the little space his cell afforded, I was still surprised at the fact that he had made it through over sixty years. I visited him at least once every year, seeing his black hair turn white, his smooth face overcome by wrinkles, but one thing had not changed. His attitude. Every visit was different, but he still sometimes demanded to be let out, that it was a shame that Sozin's dream was cut short when it had been so close to completion, that I treat him better out of filial piety, and so on.

Any time he brought that up, I reminded him of my scar, or what he had done to my mother. He had tried wheedling and apologizing several times, but I always saw through his ruse. The only thing he truly regretted was his loss. Time afforded significant change for some people. I know I was one of them. My father had proved to be the exact opposite.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Cancer. He had been complaining for a while, but at first I believed it to merely be one of the ailments that bother old people.”

“That's usually how it starts, doesn't it? With a pain that is described as something else?” I asked wryly. Uncle's wife had died of cancer, as well, though of a different kind. She had been considerably younger than my father was now, and how Uncle had mourned her.

“Indeed, my lord. He wants to be let out of his cell, to be moved to a better room, for better food...”

“He stays in his cell. I trust that the food he is given is adequate.”

“Of course it is. The menu I have established meets his nutritional needs. Should I prescribe sedatives for the pain?”

“I will see him first. Be ready this afternoon.”

“Yes, my lord.”

I couldn't explain why, but I felt rather nervous as I entered the Imperial Dungeon. It'd been several months since I saw him. How did he look the last time? Gaunt, yes, but I figured that was due to his advanced age. He was nearly a hundred years old. He was almost as old as Sozin was when he died.

My presence was announced as the door was opened for me, and I looked at my father through the bars of his cell. The change in his appearance startled me. Even with his advancing years, regular exercise had kept him in good shape, but now he looked... withered. He did not even attempt to rise from his mat, but he glared at me with slitted eyes. Well. There was no faking this.

Doctor Luo looked at me. I nodded slowly before I approached the bars. When I was little, I had been so awed and impressed by my father. He was second only to Agni. How I wanted to be like him – fierce, strong, seemingly all-knowing. He towered over me, his physical presence almost overwhelming. I endlessly strove for his attention and approval, something that my sister had managed to do seemingly effortlessly. Even after he scarred and exiled me, I still loved him and wanted nothing more than to please him. I had been so earnest in my capture of the Avatar that it had spurred me to do things I wasn't proud of, like nearly burning down the village of Kyoshi.

Looking at what was left of my father caused me to relive these memories even as I compared the past to now. What had once been so mighty and impressive was now withered and pathetic. I had once thought my father could do no wrong. Now I knew just how much wrong he was responsible for, and the fact that he would not admit it.

I hated him for the things he had done, yet even as I looked down at him, I could not help but pity him.

o0o0o0o

Katara

Several weeks ago, my husband learned that his father was dying. Despite the fact that Zuko wasn't close to him at all, I could see a change in my husband's attitude. He seemed very contemplative at times. I once caught him looking at an old painting that had been done before Ursa's death, with Ozai, his wife, and their two children all together.

Death was never an easy thing to face. With our advancing age, we knew that we did not have as much time left on this earth as we once did. Our reflections in the mirror only confirmed that.

My daughter had met Ozai. Not because he wanted it, but like Kuzon, Zeyi had been curious about her grandfather. However, that was the limit. Ozai never met any of his great-grandchildren. We felt it best this way, and so did Kuzon. Our son was also aware of Ozai's impending death, but we did not discuss it with Ying-ying or the children. Ozai was a non-entity in their lives.

I decided to pay him a visit, and Zuko did not object. I remembered all too well the day that I had given him the book that I created. It was one of a few books that he was allowed to keep in his cell. Not once had he ever told me what he thought of it or if he had even read it.

He looked so wasted away that I could not help but feel bad for him. He was also in obvious pain, though I could see him trying to mask it as the guard announced my arrival. I looked through the bars, seeing a bit of change here and there. Though Zuko absolutely refused to let his father out of this cell, Ozai had been given a thicker mat to sleep on, and near the bed I could see a low desk with plenty of paper and ink. Incense burned in one corner to help mask the smell of impending death. The tray of food was barely touched, the stew cold and congealed in its bowl.

“Good afternoon, Ozai.” I said as I sat on the stool that had been brought for me.

“Good afternoon, daughter.” he replied in a weak voice as he stared evenly at me, his head propped up by several pillows. It was almost surreal to see this dying old man through bars, several thick metal rods standing in my vision and reminding me of just who he was. My eyes widened in surprise as he called me that. Often, when a woman married, she would call her parents in law 'mother' and 'father' or some variation of that to show respect for them, and likewise, they would call her 'daughter' if they liked or favored her. Never in my few visits to my father-in-law had he referred to me as that. I wondered if perhaps he was senile and confused me for Azula.

“Are you comfortable? Is there anything you need?” I asked, as way of opening the conversation.

“As comfortable as your husband will allow me to be.” he replied dryly. Okay, so he definitely didn't confuse me for his long-dead daughter... “There are things I need. Things I want. Such things I will never have or see again.”

I studied Ozai. Gone was the thinly veiled anger and arrogance that had kept him going through the years. I saw no affection in his eyes, but no distaste for his 'barbarian' daughter-in-law.

“No one gets everything they want.” I replied evenly.

“There is one thing I would ask of you.” His voice was soft, so I had to lean in to listen.

“I cannot speak very loudly, as you can hear. I hope you will grant a dying man's request and sit here at my side.”

I was silent for several moments. I knew that no one went in the cage but for the doctor and guards. I doubt Zuko ever even set foot in there. I wondered if his timidness was but a ruse, a way to draw me in and attack and possibly main me to spite his son. An idea occurred to me, and I called to the guards. They entered the cell and pulled over the mat carefully so that its length was flush against the bars, so he got his request while I was assured of my safety.

“I have no intent to harm you, but I shall not complain since I did get what I asked for.” His smile was wry as he looked up at me. I was close enough for him to reach for my hand or skirt through the bars. “My son chose well, I must admit. The guards have nothing but nice things to say about you. And if it wasn't for you, then the Fire Nation wouldn't have reclaimed Omashu.”

“It's not like that...”

“A grandchild of mine sits upon Bumi's throne, does she not?” he asked.

“Great-granddaughter, remember?” Adi had died a couple of years ago, leaving the throne to her eldest child, her daughter Gili. Despite his isolation, Ozai was kept apprised of important news. He blinked and then nodded.

Without further ado, the final installment of the epilogue of Kiss o

“Perhaps if I am lucky, your daughter or her progeny will rule the Water Tribes. And my grandson is married to a child of an Avatar. At least I know I have some rather worthy descendants.” he said. Was he joking? Before, when he had spoken of such things, his tone carried bitterness and arrogance. Now such inflections were absent.

“Do you even now cling to your grandfather's legacy?” I gently rebuked.

“...Actually no.” He let out a low sigh, closing his eyes for several long moments. “When I was young, I scoffed at the idea that one's impeding death would change their views. Even after being put in here, I still laughed at the idea. I vowed to myself that the choices I had made were the correct ones, despite what had happened. That if the Avatar had never wakened...” A brief shrug of the shoulders before he continued, “Now I find myself wondering if Sozin ever questioned his own decisions.”

“I think everyone questions themselves at some point in time.”

“Some much later than others.” He stared at me for several moments. “Many years ago, my son made a rash decision. I sought to discipline him and teach him respect for Sozin's legacy. But this decision he made... it brought him to the Avatar and eventually to possession of the Dragon Throne. While my own decision in response to Zuko's action started me on my path here to this cell.”

I said nothing. Zuko had shared his family's history with me, including what happened to his mother and grandfather. However, I saw no need to mention this. Let Ozai speak as he would. I had the feeling that I was getting a dying man's confession, and far be it for me to interrupt.

“In some ways, Zuko is like me. We both feel passionately about things, and sometimes that can spur our actions. Zuko... he was spurred by love and loyalty. I, on the other hand... jealousy and greed overcame my good sense. I wish to Agni that I had never killed my wife. Rage blinded me to what I was doing, and by the time I could see clearly again, it was too late.” I heard clear regret in his tone for Zuko's mother. “Not a day goes by that I do not miss her. If I could go back in time and stop my rage, stop it from letting it overcome me... who knows where I might be today? She was a worthy wife, and I never showed her that I appreciated her.”

“That's hindsight for you.” I replied gently.

“If we could only see the future as well as we do the past...”

I nodded. “That is something that I doubt anyone in this world would ever argue with you over, Ozai.” My comment caused him to smile faintly.

“Zuko is very lucky to have a woman like you. I hear that he has not had a single concubine in his entire marriage. When I hear him speak of you, it is always in the highest esteem. He has you at his side to support and comfort him. How I envy him. I... wish things had been better. Between my son and myself.”

“Have you told him that?” I asked. He shook his head slowly.

“He refuses to forgive me for what I did to Ursa.”

I understood all too well how Zuko felt, having experienced the murder of my own mother. I could and would never forgive the man responsible for it even though he was long dead. Forgiving was supposed to be the noble thing to do, but some things could not be repaired by a simple apology or conciliatory gesture.

“You should still try talking to him. He is your son, after all.”

“And deny myself the pleasure of your company?” he asked dryly.

“If you feel comfortable talking with me and telling me things, I am happy to listen. It is my duty as your daughter-in-law, after all. But I also have a duty to my husband, and I also feel that you should try to talk to him. That is my advice to you.”

He nodded before giving out a sudden groan as he spammed in pain. He collected himself and settled down again.

“Dear Agni, I wish I had a cup of my brother's tea.”

I blinked in surprise. I had never heard Ozai talk about his brother with affection before. It was his jealousy of Iroh that had played a large part in what he had done to his father and wife. I was tempted to join him in reminiscing about Iroh's tea, but remembered that 'Miumi' had never met him, much less had tea with him.

“I have heard about his tea. Even now people still speak of it.”

“My brother... my father... my wife... my son...” His breath came out in a slow exhale. “If I knew back then what I did now... but there's no use thinking about that now, is there?” A flash of pain flashed across his face, and he shifted on the mat.

“Better late than never, right?”

He nodded slowly.

“I need my rest.”

“Certainly.” I rose from my seat.

“Miumi... thank you for visiting me. I know I don't deserve it, but thank you nonetheless.”

'Thank you' sounded foreign coming from this man's lips, a man who had been so consumed by negativity before. It was too bad that it took dying to make him see things more clearly. I bowed my head slightly as I looked down at him. “You're welcome.”

o0o0o0o

Zuko

It was a couple of months since Dr. Luo came to me with the news of Ozai's impending death. I had always been aware that he would die one day. I had barely thought about him aside around the times that I visited him, but now I thought about him every day. My visits had become more frequent even if their duration might not be too long. Sometimes I would just sit there silently and look at Ozai, waiting for him to say something. Other times he was too doped up on painkillers to speak. With every visit, I could see him wither just a bit more. He became frightfully thin, often not touching his food at all. He did not attempt to lecture me on Sozin's legacy, or other favorite topics, as he had before.

I looked down at him hearing the rattle in his chest. Though he had been dying for a while, Dr. Luo told me that death was now very imminent. He probably would not make it through another week, or even a night.

He had simply laid there during the visit, staring off. I had only been here a few minutes, and started to get up. I would not waste my time if he did not wish to talk. I glanced around at the few amenities that he had been given, the extra blankets, the bottle of painkillers and packets of soothing teas, the small writing desk.

“Wait.” I heard him whisper. I turned back to look at him. He was staring at me. Slowly, he lifted a hand to beckon, gesturing for me to sit down. I simply stared back at him.

“Please.”

After a moment of surprise – I had never heard him say please to me before – I sat down.

“I know I told you about what happened with your mother and grandfather.” He took a deep breath, “How Father wanted to give you to Iroh and take away my claim to the Dragon Throne.”

“Yes.”

He gave out a short, wry laugh. “Father wanted to take these away from me. But even after what I did to avoid that, I ended up losing you and the throne, anyway.” He sounded wistful. “When I banished you... Iroh ended up being your father, in a way.. I was cruel to you when you were only trying to show your loyalty to the Fire Nation...”

Katara was right. He had changed.

“I did not feel that it was right for these men to have their lives thrown away.”

“I see that now. I should have made your patriotism an example to my generals, pointed it out to them to emulate. But like your wife said, that's hindsight for you.”

I nodded slowly as I looked into his eyes. I saw humility and regret.

“I know you're angry with me, and you have every right to be.” A low sigh escaped his throat with a soft rattle. “Not a day goes by that I don't think about my family. My father, my brother, my daughter... but most of all, my wife. I was angry... so angry... and it wasn't even truly about her even though I thought it was, but I still took it out on her.” Another inhale, “I tried to tell myself that it was the right thing to do, that I was not the first man to kill his wife for betrayal... it was the only way I could live with it all these years... at least, barely. It was easier to believe that than to admit that I had made one of the biggest mistakes in my life.”

I offered no response to that. What could I say? Part of me wondered if this were just some clever ruse, some last bid to try to manipulate me. I could not help but recall the arrogant, manipulative man from my youth, the one who pitted me against my sister, the one who plotted against his father and brother, the one who would destroy countless lives in his quest for glory. The very same man who had spent decades in this cell stewing over his failure, showing no regret for his actions.

A shuddering groan escaped his lips as he writhed in pain, his fingers digging into the blankets. I stared ahead impassively as he collected himself.

“I am sorry for the things that happened in my life. For what I did to your mother. And for what I did to you.”

Truth be told, I had never had high hopes that I would hear any sort of apology from him. At first, when his defeat was still fresh, I had thought that perhaps my father would learn from it and feel suitably penitent for his deeds. But as the months and years went by, I gave up on that.

“What's done is done.” I muttered. It was no use pondering what might have been. What would have happened if I had been formally adopted by my uncle. What would have happened if my mother were still alive. What would have happened if I had never been scarred and banished. All these what ifs were useless.

He stared at me for several long moments, apparently surprised by my response.

“Do you accept my apology?” he asked in an almost timid voice.

“Yes.”

“Do you forgive me?”

“No.”

o0o0o0o

61 Years ASC (Late Spring, 1163)

Katara

Ozai died several days later. He did not have a public funeral or any of the pomp as would have been the norm for a Fire Lord. The nobles, courtiers and generals who had ever known or met Ozai were long dead. Since he was a former Fire Lord, Zuko decided that his ashes would be interred within the Dragon Bone Catacombs with the other Fire Lords, but that was it.

His cell was cleaned out. Clothing and bedding were discarded and burned, but the few books as well as his writing paraphernalia were brought to Zuko. The servants carried all of this within a box, setting it before Zuko. He did not look at it, and it sat for several days before I ventured to look at it, with his leave.

When I pulled out the book I had given him, I realized that it had been read often. The edges of the pages showed finger-marks, and the spine was creased. Well, at least my gift to him hasn't gone to waste, I thought wryly. I looked at a sheaf of papers, wondering what it was before unrolling it, gasping softly as I looked at the first few pages, realizing that it was a memoir. I had read Sozin's own final testament, learning much about what had happened between him and Avatar Roku. I closed the sheaf before realizing that there was a note on top of it. It was addressed to me, expressing the desire for me and Zuko to read it. I had found Sozin's story fascinating, and Ozai's should prove no less.

o0o0o0o

Zuko

“When he asked me for forgiveness, I told him no.” I said as I stared at my father's testament.

“That does not make you a bad person.” my wife replied. “After what he did to you... well, there's lots of people who would find something like that impossible to forgive. Considering what he did to you, what he tried to do to the world, he got off pretty easy.” She chuckled wryly before glancing at the manuscript. “This should make an interesting addition to the family history.”

“Hmm.” I nodded slowly. Part of me didn't want to, but I knew I would end up reading my father's memoirs nonetheless. I looked at it for several moments before looking up at her. “If he hadn't banished me, I probably never would have met you. I suppose that is one thing I could thank him for.”

She smiled before rising to her feet and coming to my side, wrapping her arms around me and pressing her lips to my temple.

o0o0o0o

80 Years ASC (1181)

Katara

When I came to Sozun as a new bride, it had been part of my duties as Fire Lady to study the history of my husband's lineage along with Fire Nation history, something typically expected of a wife. I had also read Sozin's final testament as well as other documents that were reserved for the Fire Lords, so I was no stranger to the illustrious history of the line of Agni.

Zuko was nearly one hundred years old. His reign had surpassed that of Sozin and Azulon, two of the longest-lived Fire Lords in history. Despite his strength, the years had taken a toll on him. He had been banished by his father before his fourteenth birthday, and crowned Fire Lord after his seventeenth, handed the enormous responsibility of ruling a Nation and maintaining it, as well as helping the Avatar restore and keep peace. It sure as hell hadn't been easy, and I had seen it in Zuko's eyes often through the years, even after things had become more peaceful. Sometimes I felt he took his duties too seriously, but at other times I could not help but feel very proud of him.

One cool autumn evening, after noticing how preoccupied and morose Zuko had seemed often as of late, I insisted that we sit in the gardens and have some tea.

“Something troubles you, my love.” I said as I poured some tea into his cup. The moonlight reflected off the pond, adding a pleasant ambiance to the lamps that sat at the edges of the veranda.

“I am an old man.” he murmured.

“That does not make you less of a man.” I replied. He smiled at me faintly.

“I have borne the burden of my legacy for a long time. Longer than eve the life-span many men receive.”

“You bear it well.”

He let out a low sigh. “Would you think less of me if I no longer wanted to bear it?”

“Of course not, Zuko. You have worked very hard, and for so long.” I thought about Kuzon. He was a capable man, having proved himself many times through the years. We could always trust him to rule effectively in our stead whenever we went on a trip. Iroh and Lu Ten were both fine men, and though they did squabble a bit sometimes – like Sokka and I had done so long ago – they did not have the enmity that Iroh and Ozai or Zuko and Azula had shared.

He reached across the table to touch my hand.

“For a while now I have wanted to simply retreat from Court. I tire of the traditions and the meetings and the assemblies... When I took the Dragon Throne, my primary goal was to provide peace and stability for my Nation, and to help the Avatar do the same for the world. That has been done.”

I nodded slowly. In my studies of Fire Nation history, each ruler was often known for one thing. Some, like Sozin or Ozai, had defined themselves with war and conquest. Others strove for diplomacy and peace, such as several hundred years ago when the Earth Kingdoms had been embroiled in a civil war. Some were indulgent, focusing on their own pleasures rather than the country. Yet others strove for reforms, establishing new laws or focusing on education or the arts.

“You did it. And you did it well. If it is a rest you want, I would say that you have more than earned it.”

o0o0o0o

Zuko

I was silent, brimming with pride as I watched Kuzon kneel to receive the crown. Normally, the Head Sage would place the crown upon the head of the new Fire Lord, but as seeing that I was still alive and well, I decided that I would do it myself. In my early days as Fire Lord, some of my courtiers and generals questioned my fitness to sit upon the Dragon Throne after I announced that the War was over and that there would be no more fighting. Even though Ozai had been defeated, some still felt that Sozin's legacy needed to be brought to completion. I was only seventeen, and well aware that in the shadows, royal relatives and courtiers alike plotted to try to take my crown from me. Now I was handing it off freely.

And it was such a relief. I felt my son's hair against the sides of my hands as I secured the crown to his topknot. I stepped back as Kuzon slowly raised his head to look at me. Despite my advancing age, Kuzon had never suggested that I step down or that I was getting too old to rule. He had proven himself time and time again with his stints of regency and his actions in and out of Court. I knew that I was leaving the Fire Nation in good hands. He truly was a good son, a son any father would be proud of.

He slowly turned around to face the Court and the Fire Sages, now Fire Lord Kuzon. Even though I no longer bore the title of Fire Lord, I did not feel the least bit diminished.

o0o0o0o

85 Years ASC (Spring, 1187)

Katara

When Zuko spoke of retreating from Court, he meant it! We moved to Ember Island, taking up permanent residence there. We no longer had the pressures of Court to deal with, the formalities or traditions that came with being Fire Lord and Fire Lady.

We could do as we pleased all day. Walk on the beach. Bend. Meditate. Read a book. Take a nap. Play Pai Sho. Sit and talk. Sit and be silent. After being Fire Lady for so long, it felt a bit odd leaving the Palace and its routines, but I was quick to adapt to this new life. On a regular basis, we would sit by the radio and listen to Kuzon, or talk to him on the phone. Such marvelous inventions! First photography, then the telegram, and the radio and phone, making communications much more effective. We had quite the collection of photographs, and my favorite one was of Kuzon's children playing on the sands in front of our beach house.

Once in a while, we would visit the Palace, and Zuko would give his input in Courtly matters, but Ember Island truly became our home. It was here that Zuko and I had declared our love for one another so long ago, and placed our marks on one another, sealing ourselves together with a promise.

Our children and grandchildren came to visit often, enjoying their vacations with their doting grandparents. It was such a delight having the grandchildren – and great-grandchildren – around and just play with them and have fun with them without the formalities of Courtly life.

Sometimes I felt rather wistful when I thought about the fact that Zuko and I were the only ones left of the original gang. Would I ever see Sokka, Suki, Toph, or Aang in another life? Would I recognize them? Would I remember who I was, or my past lives when I was reborn? What would I be in my next life? Would I be lucky enough to be with Zuko again next time even if we might not consciously remember one another?

I glanced to my side, seeing him hard at work at his writing desk. Despite his age, his hand was steady, forming neat calligraphy on the paper. I could see the intense thought in his eyes, clearly pondering every word before he committed it to paper.

“What are you writing?” I asked, wondering if it was a letter to Kuzon.

“I have decided to tell my story.”

“Hm?” I tilted my head with interest as I stared at him. He offered me a smile.

“Sozin and Ozai wrote theirs. Reading them has proved to be very... insightful. I have been through much as you well know. My banishment is a story that just about everyone in my generation and onward in the Fire Nation and elsewhere knows. But how many people know what really happened? Just why I was banished? Or why I ended up siding with the Avatar instead of bringing him to Ozai in chains?”

“Aha.” I smiled, nodding. “That is a story worth being shared.”

o0o0o0o

90 Years ASC (Spring 1192)

Zuko

My memoir was complete. I had spent five years on it, going back and refining this and that, carefully choosing my words, wishing to impart lessons to anyone who would read it. I did not go over every aspect of my life, but I did talk about my banishment and my time as Fire Lord, explaining why I did this or that. I wanted my descendants to read it, to understand what made a good ruler. My time as Fire Lord was past, but I was not finished making my legacy. It would sit beside the stories of my father and great-grandfather, but it would be very different from theirs.

Katara sat before me, holding a red satin-bound copy of my story. I had inspected the draft carefully, making sure that the printers had it just the way I wanted, with no editing or omission of anything. I had added in adages and other words of wisdom I had learned from Iroh among others, like Kamas or Aang. There were even some funny and sarcastic quips in there that I remembered from Sokka and Toph. Katara also had her own part in it, even if my family didn't know that my wife and Katara were one and the same. My family all got copies of the book.

“Even when you're retired, you just don't stop.” my wife teased good-naturedly as she set down the book.

“Would you expect me to?”

“Of course not. That's just one of the things I love about you, Zuko.”

o0o0o0o

Several Years Later

Katara

The end was coming. It was inevitable, but that did not make it any easier to accept. I had lived a good and long life, and had many joys in it. I had two children who I loved immensely and were proud of, and grandchildren and great-grandchildren that delighted me to no end. I had a husband who loved me as much as any man could ever love a woman, and more. Damnit, but I wasn't ready to leave this life!

But I understood the signs of the impending end of my life. It was more than the usual aches and pains of old age, and instinctively, I knew that this was something that no herbs, meditation, surgery, or rest could ease. Sometimes I felt cold and numb.

I lay in bed, the windows wide open so I could see the beach, the waves splashing gently onto the sand, soothing me with their lullaby. Zuko's hand rested atop mine.

“Please take the medicine.” he whispered. I looked back at him and smiled sadly, shaking my head. Luo had examined me, and he too recognized the signs, but to ease Zuko's mind, he prescribed herbs and teas which ostensibly were to help with my pain and give me energy.

“If it would help, I gladly would.”

“I already lost you once. I don't want to lose you again.”

“Oh, Zu.” I blinked back tears. “I don't want to go.”

I could see the grief in his eyes as he picked up my hand, lacing his fingers through it. I gripped weakly, which was all I could do given my rapidly-declining health.

“Zuko...” I had kept Agni's revelations a secret all these years, but now I knew it was time to share them. “We will be together again. We were together many times before, and we will see each other again.”

He slowly raised his eyebrow, looking at me with puzzlement and curiosity.

“Not only did I come to remember myself as Katara, but I remembered my past lives as well. A path... opened for me in my memories. Agni spoke to me. When you and I marked one another, we formed a bond that enabled me to come back to you as I was, so we had a second chance in this lifetime.”

“Katara...”

“But this is not the only lifetime we shared, or will share. Remember before, when you told me we were soul mates? You were more right than you ever suspected.” I smiled faintly. “We had happy lives together. And we will have more. We may not remember the next time around, but have no fear, our separation is only temporary. We will find one another again, and again...” I trailed off, catching my breath. Zuko was silent, processing this.

“That does not make this any easier, you know.” he replied wryly, squeezing my hand. “I hate seeing you in pain.”

“It doesn't hurt anymore.” I let out a slow sigh, knowing I had very little time left. “I already have letters for Kuzon and Zeyi. Make sure they get them. Give them my love.”

“Of course.”

We sat in silence for a while, Zuko's hand never leaving mine. I started feeling light-headed, and the room started to get dark. The roar of the waves became more distant, as if coming in an echo. I stared at Zuko. I couldn't even feel his hand anymore.

“Zu... I love you.” I whispered with the last of my strength.

“I love you too, Tara.” I saw him lean over, his eyes meeting mine. And then everything went dark.

o0o0o0o

Zuko

I stared ahead silently as I watched my wife's body burn. Her ashes would be interred with mine. She would share my tomb. I would have it no other way.

My eyes glazed over as I watched the flames dance.

o0o0o0o

The sun rose over a young world. Our people had learned how to manipulate Fire, though we still had a ways to go before truly mastering the element and calling it our own. The mighty empire known as the Fire Nation was not even yet a vision in the dreams of the most ambitious of our tribes.

I was one of the lucky few that the Sun had blessed. I could form a spark, and use it to ignite a fire. With practice, I became more adept at my skill. I was even able to form some shapes out of fire. Such a gift was valuable, and I was highly sought-out after by the men of various clans who wished to lay claim to my beauty and talent.

The man I fell in love with was not even one of my suitors. He was an older man and not of high status within the clans, but he had a kind heart, and did not consider himself worthy enough to have a chance with me. In a culture where men pursue the women they desire, I went against the norm and pursued him. At first, he could not believe his luck. But I showed him that he was worthier than any other man to have me, and we married and shared many happy years together. He truly was a good husband, loving and providing for me, treating me with kindness and respect in a culture where the husbands dominated their wives and could beat them if they considered them too disrespectful or disobedient.

He had eyes the color of chocolate, but in a flash, I saw Katara's blue eyes...

o0o0o0o

When I was a child, I had never questioned the Air Nomad lifestyle. It seemed natural to me, and it was all I had ever known until one day, when I was deemed old enough to go on a trading trip with several Brothers. We were mostly self-sufficient, but there were a few things that we did need to trade for, and we often did so with the nearest villages at the foot of the mountain where our temple was. We had a standing agreement with the merchant's guild, trading rare herbs or flowers that grew in the mountains for things that grew near the sea.

I enjoyed these trips. It was not that I did not appreciate my life, but I liked seeing something new, and liked the interludes from the daily routines of the Air Monk lifestyle. It was refreshing to see a different lifestyle, and with every trip I made, I learned a little more about the outside world. Within the Air Nomad culture, we did not have husbands or wives like the Earth Kingdoms did. We did not use money, they did. They had but one ruler – the mayor-magistrate – while we had a council of elders to ensure that no one person alone should hold power.

On one of those trips, the master of the merchants had his daughter with him. She was not much younger than I, and I – who had already had several lovers during the celebrations where Monks and Nuns mingled freely in passion – found myself attracted to her in a way that I had never felt for the women that I had bedded. I could not stop thinking about her, and even though we had exchanged only a few polite words under her father's watchful eye, I knew that I loved her.

I pined for her. I dreamed about her. I tried to focus on my duties as an Air Monk, but I counted down the days to our next trading trip. She was not there when I met her father. To my anguish, she was now married.

I had met her but once, but she would haunt me for the rest of my life. Years later, I saw her again, as her husband had become the new guildmaster after his father-in-law's passing. Even in middle age, she was still beautiful, and my heart soared to see her again. Even though we could not be together intimately, I still looked forward to my trips, just so I could look at her again, to talk to her, to feel our hands touch when we shook hands on our trading deals. Even though our contact never went beyond a handshake, we still shared a bond, and when I looked into her eyes, I knew she was as aware of it as I was, cherishing what little time we had together. We never spoke of our feelings, but then, we didn't need to.

Somehow, while I was in this incarnation, I knew that I had been with her in a past incarnation, and that I would see her again – and be with her again – in a future life, and I did. As I remembered this life, I felt happy knowing that Katara was right.

o0o0o0o

Not every life that I shared with Katara had a happy ending. We sometimes spent an incarnation as the opposite gender, or as a Bender of a different element, or not at all. Sometimes we were born closer together than we would have imagined – or wanted. Such a circumstance came to be, in the young days of the Earth Kingdoms.

I was in love with my younger sister. We had the same father, but while I was the eldest son of his wife, Orchid was the daughter of one of my father's concubines. We had spent many happy days as children playing games and growing up together, but for as long as I could remember, I was aware of feelings that went beyond those that one sibling should feel for another. At night, I dreamed about her, and when I was old enough to know about sex, I touched myself while thinking about her, even though I knew that it was wrong, or at least supposed to be. Young women were paraded before me, my father insisting that I choose one of them. I was taken to brothels as a gift from well-meaning uncles.

Despite all this, I was obsessed with my sister. When I was with her, I yearned to touch her and be intimate with her. Through our adolescence, we were allowed less time together, as the sexes inevitably become more segregated as they grow up, Orchid spending more time with the women while I went with my father or uncles on trips or doing other manly pursuits. At night, the yearning for her became intolerable. I would try to get as much time with her as I could, and being her brother, I had more latitude in this since I was after all, just her brother, not an unrelated male.

I thrilled when she hugged me, or when her hand touched mine. Her chaste, sisterly kisses sent heat surging through my loins. One day, I kissed her back, but as a man would kiss a woman, not as a brother should kiss his sister. She offered no resistance.

Our love was forbidden. We could never, ever acknowledge it publicly. Our relationship was one of furtive glances and fleeting touches, of unsigned letters and fevered trysts. Our father could never, ever find out. He was a hard, cruel man, seeing his children as mere commodities – me and my brothers to continue his line and inherit his business, and my sisters as bargaining chips to cement alliances and secure more wealth. He beat his wife and concubines when they displeased him, and I had received quite a few lashings from him when I was little for some small misbehavior.

One day – an inevitable occurrence, sadly – my father arranged marriage for my sister, to be the young wife of a wealthy, widowed man, one of my father's business partners. I was in agony. The man lived far away, practically on the other side of the Earth Kingdom. Once Orchid was married, I would not see her for a long time, if ever again.

But Orchid had her own plan. She hated our father, and was disgusted by the old man who was to be her husband. The morning she was to be wed, we found her hanging from the peach tree in the central courtyard, shaming our father in front of the entire family and staff of servants. She had tied a thick silk sash from her neck and jumped from a branch – she had always been a good climber – and the sight of her body swaying in the slight breeze would haunt the household for many years. Father was terrified of the idea of her vengeful ghost roaming the halls.

Nobody would ever know just how deeply I mourned the woman I loved, the one that I was never supposed to have such feelings for.

Knowing that I could never love anyone else like I loved Orchid, I submitted to an arranged marriage, though it was difficult for Father to arrange one because of the ill omen that my sister's suicide brought to the household, since it made other families fearful. It was a time of high superstition and the belief that omens determined one's destiny, and though my sister had meant for her action to punish her father, the consequences of her defiance were far-reaching.

On our wedding night, I met my bride for the first time as I lifted the soft green veil from her face. I saw Mai looking back at me, or at least I saw her when I looked into this young woman's eyes.

o0o0o0o

I could hear the wind howling outside, but in my igloo, I was warm. I groaned softly in delight as I felt a hand roam along my body as we cuddled under the furs. The hand slid down to my inner thigh, and even though we had just shared pleasure, I felt myself stir again. The hand moved to grasp and caress me, and I wiggled around. I looked at my lover, seeing hair the color of chocolate, eyes as blue as the ocean, and tanned skin that was always warm to the touch. Katara…?

But there were no feminine curves. I felt a lean, muscled chest under my hand, and as my lover nuzzled me, I felt stubble rub against my cheek and chin. And against my hip, the evidence of something that women did not have.

I rolled over, pressing myself against him, returning his affection, my lips descending onto his. In the Tribe, a marriage was between a man and woman. Never a pair of men or women. Nonetheless, there was no denying our feelings, or the passion we could rouse in one another. My lover was among our finest hunters, and I worked as a craftsman, tooling weapons and tools out of the ivory and bone that he brought back from his expeditions. This fact gave him a very good excuse to come and visit me, and I always looked forward to them, my hands working him as skillfully as they did at my craft.

o0o0o0o

I gasped softly as I felt a hand on my shoulder, looking up to see my son. I remembered holding him as a newborn in my arms, and now he was an old man with white hair.

“Are you well?” he asked with concern, the flames from my wife's pyre illuminating his features and reflecting in his eyes.

“I miss her.” I whispered. He nodded.

“I miss Mama, too. She is well-loved and missed.” He squeezed my shoulder.

o0o0o0o

Katara

My hands were free of wrinkles and liver spots. When I touched my face, the skin was tight and smooth, like silk, and I gasped softly. Where was I? Whatever this place was, it was beautiful. There were cherry trees in full bloom, with petals drifting along on a gentle breeze. There was no sun, but this place was filled with light. I saw an ornate building in the distance, of white and red and gold. A flash of red scales appeared before me, and I looked up to see a dragon.

“Agni.” I said as I recognized him. He smiled at me and motioned for me to walk with him. The grass was thick and soft under my bare feet, and I looked down to see myself in a plain but elegant blue silk qipao.

“Where am I?”

“This is my abode. You may stay here and wait for Zuko to join us, and you can have some time here together before you rejoin the spirit cycle.”

I stared at Agni.

“In the meanwhile, you will have a companion.” He tilted his head, and through a gateway, a Water Tribe woman emerged. She had long black hair, and her eyes were as blue as mine. She smiled at me, extending her hands in welcome.

“You're Agni's mate, aren't you?” I asked. She nodded.

“It is not often that we get visitors, and I'm happy to have someone to practice Waterbending with.” She smiled again, and I smiled back. It was so beautiful and idyllic here, and I was treated as an honored guest, but I could not help but miss Zuko.

“Agni mentioned that you sometimes choose to rejoin the spirit cycle. We become different people in every life, how is it that you are now as you were when you mated with Agni?” I asked.

“Everyone has a true self. We have Bended different elements, or not Bended at all. We have been men and women. Yet each soul has its true element. Yours and mine is Water. No matter what we experience or what element we may Bend for a mortal lifetime, nothing will break our bond with our true element.” Sedna explained.

I thought about my past lives. I had been able to Bend various elements, and remembered enjoying them. Yet as I contemplated all that I had lived, nothing felt more right for me than Water.

o0o0o0o

98 Years ASC (1199)

Zuko

I did not return to Ember Island. I moved into Uncle's old apartment at the Palace. Kuzon had ruled well since I gave him the crown, but he still asked me for input. Sometimes I sat in Court. I welcomed the distraction of that and my grandchildren and great-grandchildren. It was hard to wake up in the morning to an empty bed. I lay awake at night, waiting to hear Katara's quiet breathing or to feel her body against mine. The days could be filled with various activities, but there was no escaping the lonely nights even if I had the option to bring a concubine to my bed.

I watched my great-grandchildren play in the gardens. Seeing them shout and laugh brought a smile to my face as I recalled watching Kuzon or Zeyi play. I felt so tired and weary. After living for eleven decades, I suppose just about anyone would feel that way. My joints and limbs ached. Even just walking seemed to take a ridiculous amount of effort. I rested my hands and chin on my cane as I watched the children play tag, laughing and dodging around trees or statues. I stared out at the pond, remembering when Katara and I fed turtle-ducks.

I slowly pulled myself to my feet with the cane, taking slow steps down the path. Suddenly I felt weak, and then numb. I felt my breath escaping my throat, and was unable to breathe in again. I heard a startled scream from one of the children, but I could not speak.

o0o0o0o

Katara

“You have a visitor.” Sedna said, pulling me from my contemplation. Time had no meaning in this place, and it seemed like only yesterday that I had died, though I knew that more time passed than that. Here, there was no day or night.

I let Agni's mate lead me out of the palace to a bridge that I had never seen before. When I turned around, Sedna was gone. I turned back to the bridge, seeing someone crossing it, approaching my side.

Having seen him last as a very old man, I almost didn't recognize the man approaching me. It was Zuko – not merely restored to youth as I was, but looking even younger than the years I had known him as Fire Lord. This was the Zuko I had fallen in love with, the teenage exiled Prince with the cute mophead that I remembered so well. I realized with a small start that this was exactly how he looked when we had marked and bonded ourselves to one another that night we declared our love for one another. He was garbed in a plain red qipao, his shaggy hair gently rumpled from the ethereal breeze. Despite the lack of formal garb or accessories, Zuko looked regal, his shoulders squared, his chin slightly raised as he studied his surroundings.

His eyes widened as he saw me before his lips curved up in a brilliant smile, his arms extending as he closed the distance between us. Warmth suffused me as he wrapped his arms around me, and I gave out a contented sigh.

I didn't need Agni to tell me that Zuko's true element was fire. It suited him so well, and I could see it even in his other lives when he didn't bend Fire. Wasn't it often said that opposites attract?

“It's good to see you again, Tara.”

“Believe me, I share that sentiment.” I replied.

“How could you not?” he shot back gently. We laughed before pulling apart, but he grabbed my hand. I was content to have him hold it.

“Being here with you... it makes me want to leave the mortal plane forever.” Zuko said with a small chuckle as he looked down at me, clearly overwhelmed to be with me again.

“Doesn't absence make the heart grow fonder?” I quipped.

“I'm fond of being with you.” He squeezed my hand. I giggled at that, sharing his sentiment.

“Agni promised me that we would have some time here before we had to rejoin the spirit cycle. But you know we will be together again. We always find each other, don't we?” I asked. Granted, not always in the way we wanted – we had our share of unhappy lives. But you could not have joys without sorrows.

“In the meanwhile, let's just enjoy the opportunity we have right now.” Here, there were no responsibilities, no war, no sorrow, no pain. However long we had in this blessed place, I knew we would make the most of it.

“A wise husband follows the sage advice of his wife.”

“A very smart thing to say.” I replied. We laughed, bantering and teasing in the way that we had always as we walked along the path, reminiscing about our past and looking forward to the future.

o0o0o0o

I can't believe I wrote such a long story. It seems like lmost yesterday that I was brainstorming the ideas for Slow Heat and Kiss of Fire.

I know that some things in this story contradict established canon for Legend of Korra, but I finished the first version of this story before Korra premiered, and the only thing I brought in from that show was their technology – photos, radio, etc. It was easier for me to leave Korra out when I edited this story, but I do have a couple of other fanfics that are set in/the world of Korra, so if you enjoyed my Zutara, I hope you also enjoy my Korra fics.

I've come a long way as an author. I finished this story years ago, but parts of the first version made me cringe so I went back and rewrote them as well as tweaking here and there (as well as the rest of my Zutara works) It's now May 2016, a decade from when I started this story… damn, time really does fly. I'm now a published author, with currently three titles to my name, and four more in varying stages of progress at the moment. If you enjoy my fanfiction writing, you may enjoy my original works. I continue to grow as an author, and while I enjoyed writing fanfiction – a great way for an author to get a feel for writing – the time has come for me to move on.

Don't get me wrong – I will always be a Zutara fan. Even now, it's my favorite pairing, and being part of the Avatar fandom has enabled me to make some great friends and learn and grow as a writer, but I make no profit off fanfic, nor could I go on writing stories with characters that others have created. I'm now focusing on my own stories and characters, and I hope you enjoy them as much as you enjoy Avatar or other fandoms.

Well, folks. That's it. I can't believe it's over after working so long and hard on this tale. Thank you so much for your support and encouragement, and most of all, thank you for enjoying my stories! Please don't hesitate to let me know what you thought of the finale of this story!
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Kiss of Fire