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Aventure Amoureuse	By : Baron Category: +M through R > Miraculous LadyBug Views: 5014 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction for adults. Miraculous Ladybug and its characters are not mine, and are the property of ZAG-inc. I make no profit from this and all characters are 18+.

Chapter List
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- 54
You were somewhere around Paris when the drugs began to take hold...
"We should probably get back into the crowd before this stuff kicks in." you say to Chat Noir before finishing your absinthe frappé. "You want to get one for the road?" Chat asks finishing his absinthe and swaying slightly. "Of course I do! Walking around Paris is going to make us thirsty. Hey, speaking of thirsty. When did you want to see the fireman's balls?" you chuckle as you ask him. "For the last time, they're NOT testicles!" Chat sighs as he walks to the bar for more absinthe. "Hey! You guys aren't leaving, are you? Viperion was only kidding!" Ladybug says sounding disappointed that you and Chat were leaving. "We're going to be pretty fucked up soon. We're safer on the streets you know... safety in numbers!" you say as you dial your phone. "Where are you two going anyway? Maybe we can meet up later!" she offers. "We're going to look at firemen's dicks or something. I think Chat is having bisexual urges." you chuckle as you dial your phone again. "They're BALLS not dicks, and you're misunderstanding what a ball is. Who are you calling anyway?" Ladybug asks you. "Luka. I'm trying to see if I can score some more weed from his dad. I left mine back at the hotel, and it's going to take too much time to go all the way back to the penthouse to go get it. He's not answering. I think I pissed him off or something." you say as you dial Luka again. "You're looking for Luka?" Ladybug asks as she looks back at Viperion who keeps checking his phone. "Yeah, why?" you ask her as your phone goes to voicemail again. "I haven't seen Luka, but Jagged is setting up under the Eiffel tower. He's going to play when the fireworks go off." she explains. "A French rockstar on Bastille day is DEFINITELY going to have some potent weed on his tour bus." you say as Chat Noir comes back with more absinthe. "Sorry, it took me so long. I got doubles so it took a bit." he says as he hands you a taller absinthe frappé. "Thank you, Chaton. You want to go see Jagged Stone again? I want to score some smoke for the fireworks." you ask your inebriated boyfriend. "We can do that, but Viperion says him and Ladybug are hitting the pub crawl." Chat explains. "So let's crawl our asses over to Jagged and get some weed. We can go see firemen dicks along the way too!" you say as you drink your absinthe. "BALLS!" Ladybug and Chat Noir say simultaneously. "What about them? Mine are huge!" Viperion jokes as he walks over.
"Ok, so here's the plan: We all drink absinthe here, and then we pub crawl our way through Paris until we reach Jagged Stone's tour bus. We'll hit every pub, beer tent, and fireman's BALL along the way. We should be able to score weed from Jagged Stone in time to catch the concert and fireworks." Ladybug explains using a map of Paris none of you expected her to be carrying around. "Babe, why are you carrying a map around?" Viperion asks her. "Cause' I got it all figured out, man!" she smirks at him. "That's good enough for me. Who's in?" Viperion asks putting his hand out. "Me, of course." Ladybug says covering his hand with hers. "I'm the one looking to score." you say as you cover Ladybug's hand. "We'll be like the four musketeers! Athos, Porthos, Aramis, and uh..." Chat Noir says as he attempts to think of a name for a fourth musketeer. "Thermos!" you chime in with a giggle. "Close enough!" Ladybug says. "Now let's drink some absinthe!" you say as you take a big sip of it. "While we're sitting here drinking hallucinogenic drugs, I'm a bit curious. Is anyone going for bodypaint?" Viperion asks taking a sip of green liquid. "We can paint up Chat Noir. As long as it's edible." you smirk at Chat as you drink your absinthe. "Speaking of edible body paint, has anyone seen Chloe?" he asks taking a sip of the green liquid as well.. "Ew, Chloe? What are you looking for that salope for?" Ladybug asks with a scowl taking a sip of absinthe. "Um... because she's a salope." Chat shurgs with his palms pointed up. "You're going to try to fuck her? Ugh. Your dick is going to rot off, Chat Noir." Ladybug says as she tries to erase that mental image with another drink. "Don't say things like that, you'll give me nightmares." you say to her as you try to erase the image of Chat's penis rotting off with a drink yourself. "Can we just go? I don't want to hear about Chat's rotten cock anymore." Viperion says getting up and holding his arm out for Ladybug. "It's not rotten!" Chat says defensively. "Give it a second, I'm sure Chloe's around here somewhere. Ladybug says getting up and taking Viperion's arm. "I believe I detect a hint of jealousy in your voice. Mee-yow!" you tease Ladybug as you get up from the table and hold out an arm for Chat Noir. "Jealousy? Of who? Of Chloe? Are you sure you want to get on my bad side after I've had a few?" Ladybug says cracking her knuckles. "You're a funny girl, Ladybug. That's why I'll kill you last." you tease her as you flash a glimpse of the MAC50s in your pockets. "Would you prefer to eat those, or use them as suppositories?" Ladybug teases back with a smirk. "Ok, let's go hit the pub crawl before you two quote any more shitty action movies!" Chat says getting up and separating you and Ladybug. "They're only busting each other's balls, and Commando is a classic." Viperion says putting his hand on Chat's shoulder. "I don't have balls." Ladybug says folding her arms. "It's ok, I hear the firemen have balls to spare." you tease the young heroine. "THEY'RE NOT TESTICLES!!!" the three heroes remind you collectively.
The four of you sip your absinthe frappés as you stagger into the Paris streets among the crowd. People seem muffled and distorted. "Anyone... wanna... cookie? Cookie? Cookie?" you see Tom ask with an echo in his voice as you walk by. His face and furry moustache kept distorting into bizarre and grotesque proportions. "I think we did WAY too much, Chaton " you say as a car walks by with women's legs and high-heel shoes instead of tires. "Pardon me, madam. May I trouble you for a date?" Chat Noir slurs. "Dude, that's a stop sign!" Viperion points out to him as he hovers in midair. "HAS ANYONE SEEN CHLOE? Chloe? Chloe?" Sabrina shouts in a demonic voice. "I think I'm starting to freak out a bit." you say as you watch your hand fall off and run down your arm. "Don't worry. Just take a sip of absinthe and try to maintain." Chat says. His head looked big and distorted like a potato with cat ears. Some naked black guy ran past laughing madly and leaving psychedelic trails behind him. "Damnit, Nino!" Ladybug says slapping her forehead. "That's WAY more of Nino than I wanted to see today." Chat Noir shudders as he drinks his absinthe. "I've seen bigger." Viperion smirks confidently. "Well, if it isn't Paris' finest." a brown girl with a mole on her forehead says as she records you on her phone. "Oh. Hi Alya!" Ladybug says with a friendly tone as the streetlights dance and bend behind her. "I saw you the other day, didn't I? You were filming something." you ask Alya. "That's true. I was doing a story for the Ladyblog." she explains as her mole crawls around on her forehead. "What the hell is the Ladyblog?" you ask Alya as her face distorts making her look like a frog. "She does a superhero blog about Ladybug and her friends." Chat explains showing you the website on his phone. "Is that why you were filming me the other day?" you ask the frog girl. "Yeah, I've been following you around Paris documenting your adventures. Any chance of getting an exclusive interview?" Alya asks in a friendly tone. "Uh... I don't think that's such a hot idea." you say as you watch the city dance and distort around you. "Maybe later, Alya. You might want to go film Nino. He's streaking the festival and he just ran flapping past us." Ladybug says to the eager young filmmaker. "Nothing personal, but that sounds a lot more film-worthy!" Alya tells you as she runs off in the direction Nino ran.
You're walking with your costumed friends when you hear wicked heavy metal music coming from a nightclub. You're pretty sure it's House of 1000 Corpses by Rob Zombie. You look over to see the familiar demonic facade of Le Cabaret de L 'Enfer and glance over at Chat Noir with a smile as you remember his strip show. "Don't even bother. That club is VERY exclusive. They won't let us in." Ladybug sulks drinking her absinthe. "I have a feeling we're going to stroll right in like we own the place." Viperion says with an oddly confident smirk. "Do you REALLY want me to shoot the bouncer? We got in by bullshitting him once." you say to Viperion. "I don't want to strip in front of a crowd of strangers this time. You should probably just kneecap him and we can run by him." Chat says drinking his absinthe. "No one's shooting anyone! Follow me and let me work my magic!" Viperion says taking a sip of his absinthe and strolling confidently towards Le Cabaret de L 'Enfer. "20 Euros says he gets his ass kicked." you grin at Chat Noir. "I'll take a piece of that." Chat smiles as he sips his absinthe. "Can you NOT take bets on my boyfriend getting pummeled?" Ladybug says taking another drink of the green liquid. Viperion turns around and whistles gesturing the three of you to follow him as he cuts the queue and walks directly to the front of the line. "Name?" the large bouncer asks Viperion as he casually looks up from his clipboard. "Mr. Viperion. These three are my guests." he says showing the bouncer a platinum VIP pass and smirking. "My apologies, Mr. Viperion. Go ahead in." the bouncer says lifting the velvet rope so you can all enter through the front door. You look up at the gaping maw of the demon head carved into the facade of the building as you pass through it. There's a motion detector above the door that triggers a pre-recorded demon laugh and a puff of dry ice as each of you enter the club. The absinthe makes this experience considerably more intense as you enter the main hall of the nightclub. There's a sign in French hanging from the ceiling covered in plastic skulls and fake blood that reads: "Abandonnez tout espoir, vous qui entrez ici!" in drippy-looking black letters. "Forgetting something?" Chat Noir smirks at you rubbing his fingers together. "Smartass." you grumble handing him 20 Euros. "Oh, don't pout. I'll probably spend it on you anyway, beautiful!" he says as he plants a kiss on your cheeck and pockets the money.
You all take a moment to finish your absinthe frappés before heading over to the bar for shots. You each get a shot of French whiskey and prepare to consume it. "Chin chin!" Viperion says holding up his glass. "À votre santé!" Ladybug smiles wrapping her arm around Viperion's like you and Chat Noir did earlier. "À ta santé." Chat says holding up his glass. "Uh... yeah. What you guys said!" you chuckle wrapping your arm around Chat Noir's like Ladybug and Viperion are doing. "You're fine. Just say santé." Chat whispers politely. "Santé!" you smile at the couple before drinking your shot with Chat Noir as they do the same. The four of you order several more shots repeating this process before Viperion drags Ladybug onto the dance floor. "Come on, I want to dance with the most beautiful woman in Paris!" he says to her as she finishes her shot and lets him literally sweep her off her feet and enter the crowd. "You want to go join them?" Chat Noir asks with a slightly tipsy but happy smile. "Chat, I got two left feet and they're probably on backwards." you explain as you finish your shot. "Then I have to take you into custody then. I'm under strict orders from top French officials to ensure that you have you have fun with me on your last day in Paris. I'm afraid you have no choice." he says as he presses his forehead against yours and looks into your eyes with a wide cheshire-catlike grin. "Ok pretty eyes, but don't complain if I fall over or step on your foot." you smile at the charming cat boy. "Don't worry, just follow my lead." he says as he kisses the top of your hand and pulls you onto the dance floor with him as Children of the Next Level by Testament blasts over large speakers that look like skulls with their mouths open. Chat Noir holds onto you and thrashes his slender body along with the beat of the fast song as you attempt to keep pace. He dances like a stripper possessed by demons, which suited the atmosphere of Le Cabaret de L 'Enfer perfectly. With his black costume and lewd dancing he fit right in here. His cat ears almost looked like little devil horns as the blue, white, and red strobe lights washed across them. You're not a very good dancer. You're kind of awkward and clumsy unsure of how to properly dance to the song. Chat Noir smiles and pulls you closer and puts your arms around his waist as he grinds his crotch against yours. You don't really dance with Chat Noir, more accurately you hang on for the ride.
The next song that comes on is a heavy metal cover of the Beetlejuice theme. You find this song much easier to dance to than Testament was. You tightly grip Chat's firm ass as you continue grinding against each other to the beat of the song. He uses this opportunity to show off some of his finer dancing skills. He dips you and pushes you away, only to hold your hand and reel you back in during different parts of the song and steal a kiss from you. You notice on stage is a topless woman dressed like the goddess Kali with extra fake arms on her back doing a dance of destruction in front of a large skull with vampire fangs that's eyes strobed with the beat of the song as she held a sabre and a fake severed head in her hands. You loved the aesthetic of Le Cabaret de L 'Enfer. It was like what you assumed Halloween parties at Wes Craven's house must be like. The next song that came on was slower. It was I Put a Spell on You by Jay Hawkins. You use this opportunity to pull Chat closer and sensually grind against him as you silently mouth along with the lyrics as if you were singing it directly to him. You watch his eyes sparkle with excitement as he watches you move to the beat of the song and rub his chest with the palms of your hands. The woman on stage dressed like Kali was doing a slow and seductive dance as well holding a large python. When the song ends Chat rewards you with a deep passionate kiss for joining him on the dance floor. The two of you stay together to locate Ladybug and Viperion so you can go to the next stop on your pub crawl. You see them giggling and fixing their clothes as they exit the bathrooms and notice Chat is a little stiff from you grinding against him on the dance floor. You turn around and kiss him letting your hand wander to his bulge with a gentle squeeze. "Later, naughty. Ladybug and Viperion look like they're ready to go. Besides, you don't want to wear me out before we get back to the hotel, do you?" he asks you as he pulls you against his crotch and squeezes your ass. "I suppose not, but it's difficult to keep my hands off of such a handsome young cat." you say unzipping his costume and licking him from his chest to his neck making him shudder and his penis throb against you. "Oh... don't do that. You're going to make me cum myself." he purrs in an aroused and shaky voice as he zips up his costume. "Are you guys coming?" Viperion asks innocently. "Yeah, I think Chat was about to." you chuckle making Chat blush. "No, with US. Are you coming with us?" Ladybug interrupts. "I go both ways. I'm cool with it if Chat is." you shrug staring at Ladybug's nipples through her tight costume. "No! I mean come WITH us to the next pub!" Viperion clarifies. "Oh, ok. We can do that too... for now." you smirk. "Will you stop? You're incorrigible!" Chat teases you wrapping his arms around your trim waist and nuzzling your neck. The four of you share laughs and jokes as you walk back out through the demon head doors of Le Cabaret de L 'Enfer.
You all stagger through the festive crowd and stop at a nearby beer tent. It's a German man in lederhosen behind the counter as a busty blonde woman in braids dressed like Brunhilde walks around with tall foamy steins of Warsteiner on a silver tray. "Did we accidentally cross the border? I thought we were in France? Did we drunkenly stumble into Oktoberfest?" you ask your costumed French companions. "No, we're still in Paris. Not everyone in France was born here (obviously)." Viperion says gesturing to you. "He's right. See the flags?" Ladybug says gesturing to the French flags hanging from the awning of the tent interspaced with with the black, red, and yellow of the German ones and a large banner that reads: "Alles Gute zum Bastille-Tag!" on it. "They're right. These people are of German heritage, but they're citizens of France. Don't you have Italian or Chinese restaurants in your country?" Chat Noir explains. "That motorcycle you stole was from an Italian pizza shop, remember?" Viperion reminds you. "Oh, yeah. You have a point." you say as you rub your chin. "You stole a motorcycle?" Ladybug ask you. "No, I simply BORROWED a motorcycle to save you guys a little while ago." you clarify to the bug girl. "You crashed it into the ocean!" Viperion interjects. "Yes, but Ladybug fixed it with her Frosted Lucky Charms or whatever. I saw that guy riding around delivering pizzas. He keeps flicking his chin at me for some reason." you explain. "That's not what my power is called!" Ladybug huffs at you folding her arms. "I'll bet you looked hot on a motorcycle. I wish I could have seen it." Chat Noir swoons at you and holds your hand. "You can ride me later, tiger." you say to your lover as you hold his chin and kiss his lips making him blush and his penis bulge a little more. "Let's just get a beer before you make the poor guy get his underwear all sticky." Viperion snickers sitting at a small table surrounded by four folding chairs. "He doesn't wear underwear under the costume." you grin as the three of you join Viperion at the table. "None of us do. We can't. That's part of how our Miraculous works." Viperion explains. "So you exchange your underwear for superpowers?" you tease the snake boy. "No, I explained this to you. All of our clothes get sucked into our Miraculous, then our clothes are replaced with our costumes." Chat says as Brunhilde approaches the table with the silver tray. "Why is that? Why do you need to go commando to fight crime?" you say staring at Ladybug's nipples again. "I don't know, ask Plagg or something." Chat Noir shrugs. "Hello? My face is up here!" Ladybug informs you. "Sorry, I'm not made of stone. You can't blame someone for taking a look." you shrug looking away and watching Brunhilde place four Warsteiners on the table in front of each of you and saying something in German about Bastille day with a rosy smile. Her cheeks were a bit red, she looked like she sampled a few of the beers before you arrived. Chat Noir places some Euros between her large breasts and smiles at her. Her red cheeks redden a little more as she playfully slaps his hand before thanking him and heading to another table. The four of you clink glasses and quickly drink down the strong German beer. "I'm glad we stopped for a German beer. Ours is ok, but the Germans certainly have their shit together." Viperion says muffling a burp. "We rule the world of wine, but German beer puts ours to shame." Ladybug admits as she gets Brunhilde's attention and points to her empty beer stein. "You guys do make awesome wine. That bottle we had in the restaurant was incredible." you smile at Chat Noir. "I'll take you to get a ratafia later, you'll like that too!" he says as he leans over and kisses you while you flick the bell around his neck making it ring with a pleasant chime. "If there's an Irish place around, we should do some Irish car bombs. You'd probably like those as well." you smile as Brunhilde returns and refills your beer steins and Ladybug pays her. The four of you stand up and clink your steins together like knights in an old movie and guzzle them while standing. The strong, bitter German beer really intensified the hallucinogenic drugs and other alcohol that was mixing inside of you like a drug stew. The four of you politely wave to your cabbage-headed friends (whom you see as literal cabbages because of the absinthe) a friendly goodbye as you stumble out the door to your next stop along the crawl.
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Aventure Amoureuse