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Mr. Fix It	By : Obstinatural Category: +G through L > The Loud House Views: 9601 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own the properties discussed in this fictional story, they are all owned by the creators of the Loud house. This is written for entertainment purposes only and any actions done by the characters are NOT condoned by the author

Chapter List
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Lincoln sank deeper in the bed. "I- I feel odd. But…" Sam and Luna tenderly stroked his chest and giggled into his hair, "It's nice! It's like as if my body wasn't all… tense! And, like, I can actually concentrate on a thought and not have it turn into a million different ones!" He blinked a few times, "Is this normal? Did I like… overclock my brain or something?" He squinted his eyes and tried to move the ceiling fan with his brain, convinced he has unlocked telekinetic powers from utilizing 100 percent of his brain power.

"Uh, dude…" Luna gave Lincoln an uneasy laugh, "That's called being relaxed…"

"Relaxed…" Lincoln chuckled at the word, "Huh… it's like I'm a kid or something! Like, I'm not worried about anything!"

"You are a kid, Lincoln…" Sam slowly sat up and crawled to the gallon bag of pancakes that Lincoln left at the foot of the bed, "But I'm glad we were able to help you unwind."

"Yup." Luna was a bit worried about the possible inner turmoil that haunted her little brother in his every waking hour, but it's probably just his hormones getting the better of him. "Just let us know when you need some… release." Luna nuzzled up against Lincoln's chest and slid her sweating body up to kiss his neck, "We want to satisfy your needs too, baby."

"Oh, okay." Lincoln nodded in understanding, "You're calling me Baby as a pet-name. Like how Lori calls Bobby Babe and Mom calls Dad The Slam King." Luna's eyes widened in horror, she didn't know about Dad's nickname. "I thought you guys were just making fun of me at first-" He slowly sat up and bobbed his head to the left, "Like some kind of fetish thing where you're mean to me or something." He'd be okay with it, so long as he can be mean back- it's only fair.

"Oh, no." Sam poured some syrup onto a pancake and took a bite and Lincoln tried his hardest to ignore a dribble of the caramel liquid oozing onto her breasts, "Unless if that's something you'd like-"

"Er, no thanks." Lincoln shook his head and Luna giggled to meet Sam and grab a pancake for herself, "I'm not really sure if I have any fetishes…" He gave an uneasy look, "But you guys think I'm still… cool, right?"

Sam gave a tiny yelp as Luna helped herself to the syrup on her chest. Lincoln noted that her boobs were bigger than Luna's, which is cool for her- he was raised in a household where he was taught to respect all body types. Sam gave Lincoln a warm look and all of his worries melted away, "It's okay, Lincoln. All three of us are discovering and exploring new and exciting aspects of ourselves- just know that no matter what we'll always love you."

"Yup!" Luna rested her head on Sam's shoulders, "I used to think I'd always wait until marriage before losing my virginity, and then I met this righteous babe here." The two of them shared a syrupy kiss. Sam really is a bad influence.

Lincoln decided not to make a big deal out of the mess they were making and patted himself on the back for not being a buzzkill. "Yeah, thanks for helping us open up, Sam." Lincoln nodded to the blonde as she finished up the rest of her pancakes.

"My mom-" She swallowed the rest of her bit and shuddered as Luna started cleaning her body, Lincoln noted that they were very feline-like. "She is always telling me and my little brother to be open about our wants and feelings. I grew up in a pretty open household-" Sam shot a smirk to Lincoln, "And no, I don't want to do anything to my little brother. You, Lincoln Loud, are the only 11 year old boy that I want to sleep with."

"Oh, I wasn't really worried about that." Lincoln didn't realize how mean that sounded, "But- you guys will still like me when I'm all old and get more chest hairs, right?" He looked down and stared at the three whispy hairs between his nipples.

"We want to grow old with you, dude." Luna's voice lowered to a soft pur, "Do you promise me that you'll still think I'm pretty when my ass starts to sag and my hair turns grey?"

"Of course!" Lincoln laughed, "Plus- my hair is already white so I'd be a hypocrite if I said no…" He gave them a shy look, "Plus… I kinda like older women."

"Uh-oh!" Sam chuckled and elbowed Luna, "Better keep Lincoln out of Sunset Canyon!"

"Oh." Lincoln shook his head, "I don't have an Old Lady Fetish," He gave a silent sigh- that would be complicated, "I was just talking about you guys."

"You're the sweetest little dude on the planet…" Luna crawled up to him with hungry eyes and took him in for a hug, Lincoln tried his hardest not to grimace as Luna got syrup and butter in his hair, "I love you." She growled and forcefully took Lincoln in for a passionate kiss.

Just as he was about to pass out from bliss Luna broke the kiss, he felt his body melt and before he could settle in Sam pounced on top of him and took his lips. He felt her warm core press against his (admittedly sore) member and almost yelped as he accidentally knocked on her entrance. Sam giggled and broke the kiss. Lincoln quickly tried to move his body downwards, "Sorry, party foul!"

"I forgive you-" Sam chuckled and kissed his cheek, "This time."

"Yeah," Luna ran her tongue from Lincoln's ear to his collarbone, "Be careful with that thing, baby. Plan-B costs, like, 50 bucks a pill. And there are two of us."

"Wait." Lincoln blinked, "Plans come in Pill Form?"

Luna and Sam shared a laugh and Lincoln tried to not take it personally, he did just get jacked off by them so the least he can do is suffer through some giggles. Sam shook her head, "No, Lincoln. Plan-B is an emergency contraceptive that you take after sex to ensure-"

"Oh, okay." Lincoln nodded his head, "I should probably look into a long-term solution, we aren't made out of money." Lincoln sighed, "We're really playing with fire here- but it's exciting, don't get me wrong…" Lincoln held up his hands defensively, "I can always wear a condom-"

Luna lowered his hands gently, "No." Sam and Luna blushed and shook their heads. Luna gulped and powered on through her guilt, "We… don't believe in condoms."

"I've heard of not believing in Santa Claus or a peaceful revolution but not condoms…" Lincoln mumbled to himself, his voice growing pensive, "But sure, I don't really like the idea of wrapping up my little guy like he's some kind of slim jim. Just a lot to think about, I guess…"

"Like father like son," Sam giggled, "Yeah, we want it raw." She cleared her throat and tried her hardest to sound stern, "But, after our first date." Luna gave Sam a thumbs-up for being a good role model.

"I'm thinking dinner and a movie," Lincoln nodded and descended down to the floor, "I should check showtimes of the new Blarney movie-" Lincoln's phone rang before Luna and Sam could try to convince him that a Blarney the Dinosaur movie is probably not good First Date Material. "Oh," He scratched his head as he looked at the phone, "It's Stella, do you mind if I take this?"

"Go ahead, baby," Luna peeked her head over the top bunk, "We'll be good, I promise." She lied.

Lincoln picked up the phone and started changing, talking to Stella while he's naked just sounds kind of rude. "Hey Stella-" His mind spun and he thought of a contingency plan in case Luna and Sam couldn't behave themselves, "I'm hanging with Luna and Sam right now so if you hear anything weird it's just them clowning on me."

"Oh-" Her voice sounded a bit dismayed, "Do you want me to call you back or something?"

Lincoln wanted to get whatever this conversation was out of the way, "Nah. It's cool, we were just hanging out." Sam snapped her fingers and motioned for Lincoln to come join them on the bed, "So-" Lincoln pressed the phone against his shoulder with his head and climbed up to the top bunk, "How was the game?"

"My team won. Richie had no idea how to play, he thought LoL was a shooter or something and had to play with a gamepad because his older sister got some sticky stuff on his laptop keyboard…" Lincoln noted that Stella wasn't as gloaty as she usually is whenever she scores a win. Luna and Sam cuddled together in the corner underneath a blanket and started watching guitar pedal reviews on ViewTube on a shared pair of earbuds.

"You doing okay, Stella?" Lincoln asked as Sam started idliy petting his head, he tried not to grimace as he felt more syrup on his scalp- he brought napkins. "You sound kinda… down."

"L-Lincoln I just wanted to… apologize," Her voice lowered to a whisper, "For being a total b-bitch whenever we play together…" Lincoln had to pull away the phone and grimace as her receiver bass boosted a mournful sigh that almost deafened one of his eardrums, "I always get competitive and gloaty whenever I play against you-"

"Oh. Is that it?" Lincoln laughed and shook his head, "No! Not at all! In fact- I think it's pretty cool how confident you are whenever you win and it gives me the extra drive to beat you in the future," He lied, he actually thinks she's incredibly annoying whenever she gets like that, "And the little tips you give me actually do help," That wasn't a lie, he appreciates those, "So don't get all… sad on me. I don't want you worrying about our friendship."

"Oh. R-really?" Stella's voice perked up, "I was actually really worried about that," She gave a nervous chuckle, "I- I thought you were just making up excuses lately to slip out of games with me…"

Lincoln wasn't exactly subtle about slipping out of going against Stella in the last two weeks, but he figured now would be a good time to cover his bases, "Well, you know what it's like over here. It's always something-" He cleared his throat, "Plus: we've got our whole lives to play video games together. Missing one or two now won't kill our friendship."

Lincoln noticed Sam typing up on her phone and blinked at the words as she held them up for him to see: Tone it down with the "friendship" stuff, you might hurt her feelings.

Lincoln scratched his head and Stella's voice noticeably drooped over the phone, "R-right. I just… kinda like spending time with you I guess. Even with the other guys it just… doesn't feel the same without you…"

Oh, Lincoln nodded to Sam as she shot him a I told you so look, he understood now. "Well, if you'd like I can always spare some time for you." Lincoln squinted his eyes for some confirmation if that was good or not at Sam and she pursed her lips and nodded before going back to Luna's phone, "Just me and you. But- that might lead to some problems down the road with the gang."

"Linc' I… I don't know about us g-getting together… that sounds kinda… like a bad idea…" Lincoln's ego told him that she sounded like she was trying to convince himself, his superego told him that she probably isn't interested in him because she never really was, his id told him to take a shower and shampoo the syrup out of his hair.

"I was talking about us playing one on one or something, just the two of us," Lincoln tried and failed to not sigh, "Us dating sounds like a lot of plates to spin in the air- don't get me wrong: I think you'd be worth it. But I understand that you don't see me like that-"

"Uh…" Stella abruptly cut off Lincoln and cleared her throat, "If…" She lowered her voice down to a whisper, "If I'm your gamer girlfriend then that's fine- m- my mom doesn't want me getting a boyfriend until I pay my first electricity bill…"

Gamer Girlfriend? Lincoln gave a stink face. He heard Sam whispering something into Luna's ear and they shared a muffled giggle. That was probably the worst thing he's ever heard in his life, "I- I see…" He cleared his throat, "I guess we should save up some money, electricity bills-"

"Er, it's just a… phrase she uses." Stella was still whispering into the phone, "Dad always gets on Mom's case about it, he says that I can date in high school… but that's…" She gave a sad whimper, "Really far away… and… I kinda have started to… crush on you…"

"Oh." Lincoln pursed his lips and tilted his head to the side, "I should probably ask my Mom and Dad if I can date too… but I guess if I'm just some kind of…" He tried and failed not to spit out the word with contempt, "Gamer Boyfriend, they probably won't care." Sam held up her phone: Be nice to her! Lincoln bared his teeth and frowned, giving Sam an apologetic grimace, "B-but," He quickly interjected, "I think it might be… fun… to do stuff…" He had no idea what a Gamer Girlfriend implies, "Online?"

"Oh…" Her voice perked up a bit and her whispers picked up in pace, "We just go on dates and hang out, maybe watch some movies and play games. Er… I have my own VR World on VR Cafe and we can hang out there… my parents are usually in bed by 10 or so…"

"I guess I'll log in at around 10 and see if I need to update or anything." Lincoln gave a slight frown when he remembered Lisa playing around with Darcy on some makeshift VR headsets, he hates foreshadowing, "Is tonight fine?"

"Yes!" Stella squealed she quickly caught herself and let out a giddy whisper, "I've always wanted to have an e-boy gamer boyfriend!" Lincoln shut his eyes and grimaced as Sam had to slap her hand over Luna's mouth to keep her from laughing, "I'll see you at 10:15! Tee-hee!" Stella hung up before Lincoln could process that she said tee-hee completely unironically.

"Alright." Lincoln cleared his throat and shoved his phone back into his jean pocket, "Well, that happened."

"Sure did, e-boy…" Luna snickered as she hit pause on her phone, "Dude… I guess they do things differently nowadays."

"Well," Sam hummed as she cuddled in-between Luna's arms now that she put the phone down, "It sounds kinda… adorable. She even said," Sam held her fists up and cheered, "Tee-hee!"

"Yes, Stella can be… cute." Lincoln cleared her throat, "What even is a Gamer Boyfriend? I assume it's different than a regular boyfriend."

"You're the Gamer, bro- I just played Guitar Star on the Wee when I was a kid…" Luna scratched her head and Sam nuzzled into her armpit, "I assume it's like long-distance dating or somethin'..."

"We live in the same town," Lincoln deadpanned, "So it's like having a girlfriend that I can't touch? I guess that's…" Lincoln shrugged his shoulders, "Morally Upstanding or something…"

A knock was heard at the door and Luna carefully wrapped Sam and her into the blanket, "It's good, sis!" She yelled. Lincoln raised his eyebrows, it was most certainly not good, the two of them were naked! But he quickly remembered that he liked that the two of them were naked.

"You two got your clothes on?" Lincoln peeked over the top bunk and waved at Luan, she looked a bit exasperated, "Oh- uh. I really do hope you have your clothes on…" Luan blushed, "I heard Lincoln was going through puberty…"

"Cut me some slack, Luan." Lincoln rolled his eyes, "They've at least got a blanket on- if I got all uppity about if I'd be a total hypocrite since I spent, like, almost the whole of last year in my underwear around the house." Lincoln saw Luan blush and discreetly kicked the towel underneath the door.

"Riiiight," Luan pulled on her collar, "I'm glad you don't do that anymore, one wrong move and you'll be traumatizing your younger sisters with your boner."

"Dude," Luan sighed and pulled up another video on her phone, "Quit being a wet blanket, it's not like it's anything you haven't seen before…"

"Uh huh…" Luan sat on her clown chair and swiveled to her desk, "I'm pretty sure the only wet blankets in this room are the ones you're currently wrapped in-" She quickly looked up to Lincoln, "Sorry, bro. That was probably too PG-13 for you-"

"No, I understood that one- a girl's kitty gets wet when they're excited. Pretty funny," Lincoln flashed a thumbs up to Luan who stared at him with blank eyes, "I'm thinking of circumventing the parental locks on the internet in order to understand more stuff about puberty."

"Probably not the brightest idea you've ever had, Lincoln!" Luan nervously chuckled in a sing-song voice, "Uh- you're probably better off asking me or one of your older sister's for help about… puberty."

"Oh, thanks…" Lincoln raised an eyebrow, "But wouldn't that be incredibly awkward?"

"No, it's all stuff you shouldn't feel ashamed of, Lincoln," Sam moved her arm to the side and pet Lincoln's butt, "It's better that you ask these questions now so you don't get any weird complexes and develop a bunch of hang-ups."

"Right." Lincoln sighed, "Well, thanks for the offer, Luan." Lincoln returned the tight smile Luan gave him with a nod, "But I'm kinda more interested in the relationship aspects of puberty at this particular moment- I actually have an… e-date with Stella. I think we're just playing VR Cafe together but I don't really know if I have to act any differently."

"Oh, that's pretty cute!" Luan cooed, "My friend Ruby plays that game a lot with her boyfriend-" Her cheeks flushed when she remembered about the various peripherals she spent her birthday money on for more tactile feedback, "I think you should approach it like a regular date…"

Lincoln snaked down the bed and took a seat on the purple beanbag chair, "Alright. That makes sense." Lincoln placed his hands over his knees and contemplated, "But I've never actually been on a one-on-one date, I had that one double date thing with Ronnie-Anne but I don't think that cou-" Lincoln blinked, "Oh, I need to cancel our hang out video call sesh tonight. Do you mind if I make a call?"

"Uh, no?" Luan furrowed her brow, "It also kinda sounds like you've already been on e-dates before with Ronnie Anne… Er…" She had no idea how to handle this one and instead just gathered up her PJ's and changed underneath a blanket.

Lincoln hammered the 1 on his phone to speed dial Ronnie.

"Sup." Ronnie didn't even let it ring once.

"Hey, gotta cancel our viewing of the latest AAA episode." Lincoln sighed into the phone, "I'm going out with Stella-"

"YOU'RE WHAT?!" Lincoln grimaced and withdrew the phone from his ear.

He continued talking after his ears stopped ringing, "Yeah, I hit puberty today. So I'm interested in getting a girlfriend. Apparently I'm Stella's e-boyfriend in the gamerverse so now I am going to play VR Cafe with her-" He gave a chuckle and spoke quick, "I know, I know- it sounds lame as heck but I mean…" He let the mask slip and his insecurities got out, "I'm not really too sure about relationship stuff… so I guess this is good training wheels…"

Ronnie Anne was silent, "So you're not serious about her?"

"I wouldn't say that. I kinda wish I would date her normally…" Lincoln paused and heard Ronnie Anne gulp, "Wait- Did you wanna try out a long-distance thing too? Because now that I'm thinking about it we pretty much already do that."

"You are the stupidest boy I've ever met in my life." Ronnie Anne groaned into the phone.

"What? Are you mad at me for going on a date?" Lincoln started getting heated, "I don't see a ring around my finger! And if you did have feelings for me now would be a good time to admit them. Heck-" Lincoln threw up his free hand in the air, "I'll start!" He cleared his voice, "Ronnie Anne: I think you're cute- did you want to go on a date some time? On the internet? Since you live 8 hours away? Even though we can't make out?"

"S-so that's what this is REALLY about!" Ronnie's voice picked up in pace, "Y-you're just HORNY! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!"

"Uh, probably because I was just joking around," Lincoln heard Ronnie Anne give a guttural scream into her receiver and he winced, "I'm obviously totally cool with the no touching part since I agreed to go on that date with Stella."

Apparently he teased her too hard, Lincoln heard her sniff through the phone, "Why would you do this to me? I thought we were…"

"What? What did you think we were?" Lincoln scratched his head, "Because if you thought we were anything more than friends you probably should've done a better job conveying that." Luan couldn't take any more of this, she quickly snapped her fingers and motioned for Lincoln to calm down. Lincoln sighed, "And I guess I could've done a better job too… from now on I'm going to hit on you more. So either understand that I'm going to see you as more than a friend now or cut me off." Luan quickly shook her head in horror and Lincoln ignored her, "Because if things get serious with Stella I don't think we can continue doing our e-date stuff."

"Fine." Ronnie sighed and gave another sad sniff, "I'm sorry too. I've… been kinda emotional lately… it's hormones…"

Lincoln gave a sad laugh, "Tell me about it…" He let his head relax on his shoulders and stared at his shoes, "Puberty is just… the worst…"

Ronnie gave a shaky laugh, "Just- make sure you let Stella know that she has competition." She cleared her throat, "And that if I ever visit I'm okay with anything so long as it doesn't go past…" She lowered her voice to a whisper, "Second base."

"Ding dang…" Lincoln laughed, "Well, you have that on her… her parents don't want her dating anyone until highschool…"

"Loser." Ronnie laughed, Lincoln decided not to get too upset with her for that, "I'd just date you behind my parents back." She quickly continued, "Because of the hormones."

"Right." Lincoln cleared his throat, "I'm fine with much more than second base- but I don't mind making concessions…" His face twitched, "And the whole long-distance thing? Not really a fan, I don't mind going on dates- but being official?"

"Oh…" Ronnie sighed into the phone and caught herself, "Y-yeah… just going in dates whenever we find the time together is okay by me…" She lied, "I'm not really the jealous type…" She lied again, "Well… I'll talk to you later, dude."

"Yeah," Lincoln sighed, "And sorry again for the last minute cancelation-" The phone went silent with a click, "She hung up on me!" He rolled his eyes and gave a bitter laugh, "That's Ronnie Anne for you…"

Luan got a case of vertigo and fell out of her chair with a thud.
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Mr. Fix It