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The Need to Control	By : SapphoSynergy Category: Avatar - The Last Airbender > Legend of Korra, The Views: 4153 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: Legend of Korra and I do not make any money off of this work.

Chapter List
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Korra took a deep breath as she walked up to the guards standing outside Kuvira’s home. It had been a few weeks since she had last come to Zaofu. Would it be awkward seeing Kuvira again, after what had happened between them?
This time, when the door swung open, Kuvira was right there, waiting for her. This time she was wearing a somewhat looser green outfit, reminiscent of what Zaofu citizens usually wore. Kuvira caught a glance at Korra’s face and stiffened, blushing for only a moment.
“Please, come in,” she said cordially.
Korra had forgotten what it was like to hear Kuvira’s voice in person. It was commanding, yet warm and honey-like.
“It’s good to see you again, Kuvira,” Korra said in return, trying to keep her voice businesslike.
She followed Kuvira into the small house and to the living room chairs.
“I made tea,” Kuvira said.
She offered Korra a cup, and Korra sipped on the tea as the two of them sat opposite one another. Korra finally spoke up.
“Kuvira, about what happened last time…” she began.
“Let’s not talk about that right now,” Kuvira said, “We can discuss that later. For now, let’s just focus on the reason you’re here.”
“Right,” Korra said, sighing.
Korra set down her cup of tea.
“I figured, since acupuncture was only making things worse for you, we won’t do that this time,” Korra said.
“What did you have in mind instead?” Kuvira asked.
“I wanted to try some guided meditation,” Korra answered, “We could try meditating into the Spirit World, although that might be a bit much for now.”
Kuvira looked somewhat uncomfortable.
“I’m never been a terribly spiritual person,” Kuvira agreed.
“Well, we could just try some breathing exercises and some visualization techniques,” Korra said, “Just some stuff I’ve learned from Tenzin and the other airbenders.”
“If you think that will help,” Kuvira sighed, “I’ll give it a try.”
“Just trust me, ok?” Korra said.
She hoped her voice didn’t contain any annoyance, but she knew that she often came across fierier than she meant.
“I trust you, Avatar,” Kuvira said, a bit of sarcasm in her voice.
Korra got into the lotus position on her chair, and Kuvira followed suit. Korra closed her eyes and began to speak, hoping her voice was calming enough to help Kuvira meditate. She walked Kuvira through some basic breathing exercises to begin with, but after a few minutes, she then decided to delve deeper into Kuvira’s feelings.
“I want you to visualize your truest self,” Korra said, eyes still closed, “The self that is whole. The one you know you can be. Imagine her as if she’s on the other side of a field.”
She peeked at Kuvira to see that her brow had furrowed, but Kuvira made no protest, so Korra continued.
“As you imagine walking toward her, tell me what flashes into your mind,” Korra said, “Tell me everything – how you feel, what you see, what you hear…”
Kuvira cleared her throat.
“I see… the giant mech suit – the Colossus.”
Korra saw that Kuvira’s brow was quivering now, but she wasn’t saying anything more.
“What else?” Korra probed gently.
“I… don’t know,” Kuvira said through gritted teeth.
She remained silent, except for her stilted breathing.
“You know you can trust me,” Korra reminded her
“I told you I do trust you!” Kuvira replied hotly.
“Well, it doesn’t seem like it to me,” Korra impulsively shot back.
Kuvira opened her eyes to look at Korra.
“You think I called you here because I don’t trust you?” she asked sarcastically.
“You might think you trust me, but I’m just telling you what I’m seeing,” Korra said, angry at the sarcasm, “You need to open up if we’re going to make any progress. It doesn’t even seem like you want to feel better!”
Kuvira’s hands balled into fists, and her face wore an expression of subdued rage. Then she looked down at her fists sullenly. Korra saw this and immediately regretted her words. She could hear her inner Tenzin-voice chiding her for what she’d said.
“I’m sorry,” Korra apologized, “I don’t know why I said that. Someone once told me that I didn’t want to get better, and it really hurt. Maybe that’s why I said it to you. Maybe I wanted you to feel bad just like I did. And that’s really wrong of me.”
“No, you might be right,” Kuvira said, her voice hardly breaking above a whisper, “I don’t think I deserve to feel better.”
The pained look in Kuvira’s eyes drew Korra closer, and she scooted forward on her chair until her knees were almost touching Kuvira’s.
“You deserve to feel at peace again,” Korra said, “That’s what you’ve been searching for this whole time, right? Inner peace?”
Kuvira nodded slowly.
“I thought defeating Guan would give me some peace,” Kuvira admitted, “But Su was right when she told me that killing him wouldn’t give me that peace. I’ve realized since then that there might never be peace for me. I’m locked away for the rest of my life to think about what I’ve done and what could have gone differently.”
“I believe you can find peace,” Korra said, “even though you might never stop feeling guilty.”
“How is that possible?” Kuvira asked.
“I don’t know,” Korra admitted, “But we can figure it out together. I learned a lot from my three-year absence and from my path to healing, but I don’t know everything.”
“This is, frankly, nothing like what you experienced,” Kuvira said, “You suffered because of what someone did to you. I’m suffering because of mistakes that I made.”
“It’s not like I haven’t made mistakes before,” Korra said, “I sided with my uncle Unalaq for far too long, even though he was invading my home. Because of my mistakes, too many people were harmed by the Dark Avatar – and I lost my connection to my past lives. It’s been hard for me to accept the mistakes I’ve made and move on from them, but I have to try.”
Kuvira listened intently to her story, then took a deep breath out.
“I see,” she said, “I misjudged you again. It felt like, anything you did, people were behind you. People loved you. I felt like I had to scrape together respect for myself based on my own actions.”
“Eh, I wouldn’t say everyone loved what I did,” Korra said, “In fact, it usually felt like the opposite. People don’t always care that you’re the Avatar. And sometimes they expect more of you than you can give.”
“I see your point,” Kuvira said.
Kuvira looked down, noticing how close Korra’s legs were to her own, but she didn’t move away.
“Kuvira, there’s a life to be had after mistakes, even big mistakes,” Korra insisted, “There’s still life worth living. You deserve it, and I know you’ll find it.”
Kuvira’s eyes widened, then she looked down again. She clenched her teeth and squinted her eyes to prevent tears from running down her cheeks. The tears came anyway, and Korra instinctually reached to touch Kuvira’s shoulder. Kuvira flinched for a moment, but she didn’t pull back. Korra knew that Kuvira needed the comfort only touch could bring, but this was probably as far as Korra could take it. Kuvira took in a deep, shaky breath.
“Are you ready to try those visualizations again?” Korra asked, pulling her hand back off of Kuvira’s shoulder.
Kuvira wiped the tears from her eyes, sniffing just a little. She straightened her back and returned to the lotus position.
“I’m ready.”
Korra walked her through the scenario again, this time pausing to ask for details about the Colossus that Kuvira saw. For several minutes, Kuvira let spill memory after memory, mostly related to the Colossus.
“I can see myself pointing the spirit weapon at buildings and ships,” Kuvira remembered, her voice’s timbre rising, “I’m shooting without mercy. I feel so powerful, so unstoppable. It doesn’t even feel like me anymore.”
“And how is that vision making you feel right now?” Korra asked.
“Ashamed,” Kuvira admitted, her voice guttural now, “It’s so hard to even think about. I could have called off the army. I could have listened to my conscience like Varrick did. I could have…”
Korra let her rattle off possible solutions to her past problems for a few moments.
“Kuvira, you have to stop thinking about what could have been,” Korra said finally, “You have to accept what really happened.”
“Never,” Kuvira said angrily, “I can never accept what happened. That would mean condoning what I did.”
“No, it wouldn’t,” Korra argued, “In order to find inner peace, you have to accept things the way they are. It doesn’t mean accepting them as right. I had to accept that I was poisoned and completely helpless, even though I knew that it was wrong of the Red Lotus to poison me. It was only then that I was able to move towards the future.”
“Don’t ask me to accept it right away,” Kuvira growled.
“I won’t. We’re doing things at your pace,” Korra answered.
Korra could hear her inner Tenzin-voice telling her what to say. And this time, in her imagination, he was proud of what she said.

Emotionally drained after their therapy session, Korra turned to leave Kuvira’s house and wave goodbye. She had almost reached the door when Kuvira’s voice called out behind her.
“Wait,” Kuvira said, standing up to follow her, “I’d like to see you tomorrow. But only if that’s what you want.”
Korra stopped for a moment to think. She often was dragged away by her emotions and whims, but was this a situation where she needed to be wiser than them?
“Kuvira, you know I’d love to… you know, see you again,” Korra started, “But—”
Kuvira was almost exactly Korra’s height, but she’d always seemed taller to Korra. It especially felt that way now as Kuvira strode towards her with a proud expression.
“So you do want a second round,” Kuvira said provocatively.
“Yes, but maybe…” Korra began.
All of the sudden, Kuvira’s body was incredibly close to hers. Her arms were on either side of Korra’s shoulders, her hands pressing against the wall. Korra noticed that Kuvira’s leg had slipped between her own. Had she done that on purpose, or was it instinctual? Either way, it was having a marvelous effect on Korra.
“Alright, you win,” Korra sighed, “Let’s meet tomorrow, late afternoon.”
Kuvira grinned smugly, but then the arrogance on her face was replaced with self-consciousness. She blushed and looked away, though her hands still penned Korra in on both sides.
“What’s up?” Korra asked.
“I never used to kiss much, but I…” Kuvira explained, “Look, I…”
Korra leaned forward and impulsively planted a kiss on Kuvira’s mouth, bringing out a muffled sound of surprise from Kuvira. Korra then drew back, afraid of retaliation, but Kuvira’s eyes had a hunger in them Korra hadn’t seen before. Kuvira pushed Korra further against the wall and kissed her in return, this time drawing it out. The kiss was at once passionate, gentle, and rough. Kuvira used one hand to stroke and tug at Korra’s hair, and Korra reached up tentatively to caress Kuvira’s thick hair as well. Korra noticed how warm Kuvira’s mouth was against hers, how sweet she tasted, and how firm yet soft her lips were.
They broke apart finally, panting, staring at each other amazed with how much chemistry had occurred between them. There was a fire in Kuvira’s eyes, but also a vulnerability that Korra hadn’t seen before.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Kuvira said.
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The Need to Control