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What Happened Last Night?	By : TheHorneyScorpio Category: +S through Z > South Park > AU/AR - Alternate Universe/Alternate Reality Views: 3346 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to South Park and i make no profit in the making of this fanfiction

Chapter List
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“…..Im sorry Kyle……”
The light of morning manages to shine through the closed curtains of Stans room, directly hitting his eyelids. A brief moment of feeling the burning sensation of heat on his face causes Kyle to slowly open his eyes and adjust them to the morning sun hitting the inside of the room. Kyle notices one of two things, first, the sun was killing him right now, and second, his headache was killing him right now.

Rubbing his eyes with his hand, he lifts his body up from the bed and tries to blink several times to bring him back to the land of the living. His brain took a short minute to start up, but when his eyes were ready to be used he mentally awoke to the reality he wished he didn’t see. There he was, naked in his best friends bed, right across from a naked sleeping Wendy.

“Oh shit, oh shit ohshitohshitohshit”
Kyle brought his hands to his head as he tried to snap himself out of it.
“I cant believe I actually did that, nonono, what is Stan gonna say to me?”
He stopped his thoughts to look for Stan, he didn’t find any sign of his friend in the room.
“calm down Kyle, calm down”

He jumped out of bed to search for his clothes, luckily he was able to find them quickly and get dressed, he looks outside the door for any sign of Stan or anyone else in the house. He was able to faintly hear Stan downstairs and someone else as well, Clyde? It didn’t matter, Stan didn’t sound angry so that was a good sign. There was no way he was going to go down the stairs and run into Stan right now, not until he understood how Stan was feeling. Being friends with Stan for so long, Kyle was use to climbing on Stans roof outside his bedroom window, and silently opens the window, closes it on his way out and sneaks out of sight.

Kyle reaches for his phone to see if there was any messages he missed from last night. A quick glance shows his schedule for the upcoming week after tomorrow, a message from Ike saying he covered for him tonight for going to the party 6 hours ago, another message from Cartman calling him a fucking jew 8 hours ago.

“How sweet, he took the time from his busy schedule to insult me”

He flipped to his messages and deleted Cartmans message, afterwards he flipped to Kenny’s number and texted him as fast as his fingers could type.

Kyle: [Kenny, we need to talk ASAP]

Kyle waited on the roof for a few minutes, he didn’t even know if Kenny was awake but he had to find out, he needed his help now more than ever. What felt like 12 hours, but was actually three minutes he got a message from someone, he checks the messages to see Kenny responded back

Kenny: [Sure man, im at Stans place still, Im cooking breakfast for everyone, want in?]
Kyle:[ No thanks, I don’t want to see Stan right now, but im still coming to talk to you]
Kenny: [sure thing buddy]

Kyle reached the opposite side of the house and makes a flawless parkour descent down onto the backyard. Despite the small headache he felt, he was surprised he was still so nimble making his way down. Through the glass door outside he notices on Kenny cooking in the kitchen with only Bebe sitting at the kitchen table with a bag of frozen peas on her head.
With no presence of Stan he slides the door open and walks in to greet Kenny and Bebe.

“Hey Kenny, Hey Bebe” Kyle does his best to not sound tired, hungry, and hungover, with litte success, not that Bebe could even care at the moment.

Bebe responded, sounding even worse than Kyle. “Hey Kyle”
“Hey Ky” Kenny said as he cooked the breakfast on the pan, he was making plenty for the whole group as the big plate next to him showed filled with scrambled eggs and toast.

Kyle leans close to Bebe as he spoke “Hey Bebe, could you pretend you didn’t see me if Stan asks?” Trying his best to sound desperate, which he of course was.

“Huh? Oh yeah sure, what you two fighting or something?” She switches hands holding the peas over her head, the whole time not even keeping her eyes focused on the boy in front of her.
“Thanks Bebe, you’re the best” He gives a thumbs up as he makes his way to Kenny, keeping his voice down in case Stan would show up. She replies with her own thumbs up before she plants her head slowly on the table.

Kyle finally directed his attention to Kenny
“Kenny, please tell about Stan”
“Relax dude, so far he doesn’t seem to remember anything, he’s been asking everyone if they know what happened last night and I just pretended I knew nothing and gave him some fake story to throw him off”
Kyle breathed a sigh of relief as he leaned over the counter, the smell of the food barely making him feel as good as the sense of safety he felt now.

“He doesn’t remember!.... Alright, I guess, but it still doesn’t help me, if anything, it makes it worse knowing I have to tell him sooner or later”

“What’s the matter Kyle? I thought last night would have helped you out, but you don’t sound happy at all”

“Of course im not happy! I was stupid, and I made a stupid mistake, and even if Stan doesn’t remember it, I DO! And I cant live with myself knowing I did that!”

“Kyle, take a deep breathe”
Kyle took his friends advice and took a deep breathe, waited a few seconds and the exhaled, taking a bit of the stress with it.

“Listens Ky, EVERYONE was drunk last night, we ALL made stupid decisions last night, no one needs to know if you don’t tell anyone, you let out some demons and that’s all that’s the last that needs to be said about that, you let yourself run loose for a bit and now you feel better right?”

“ugh….w-wellll, yeah actually,”
It was true, ever since last night, the thought of repeating his same mistake was not as strong a feeling as it use to be, the images of last night ran clear though his mind, and while guilt was still there, he was glad he got to unleash it even for a few short hours.

“But, if Stan is poking around, he’s gonna want to talk to me, and soon he’ll know what happened.”

“Oh yeah, im sure he’ll find out sooner or later, but I think he needs to find out that way, I think it would make things easier for the both of you”

Kenny plops another bunch of scrambled egg chunks onto the pile as he spoke and listened to Kyle.

“…you think so? It sounds like im just avoiding the problem, wont he be angry if he finds out I knew all along?”
“Trust me Ky, he needs to do this, and if he comes for ya, ill back you up alright?”
He nudges Kyle with his elbow which made Kyle give a push with his own elbow back at him in jest.

“Alright Kenny, ill just pretend I don’t remember a thing and just play along until he figures it out”

“Alright you better head back upstairs before Stan sees you, ill let you know if he gets close to piecing it all back together.”

Kyle grabs a piece of toast as he silently opens the glass door leading outside, “Thanks Kenny, you’re the best!” He closes the door and climbs back on the roof to sneak back into Stans room.

As Kyle leaves the kitchen, he speaks hoping to reach Bebe who probably listened to the whole thing.
“Hey Bebe, could you be a doll and not say any of this to Stan?”
After a minute of silence, he turns his head to notice Babe’s head still face down on the table, the peas stuck to her head a light snoring sound could be heard from her direction. Kenny gave a chuckle as he turned to continue making his meals for the group. Before speaking to himself out loud.

“Alright Stan, for your sake and Kyles, let’s hope you handle the news well”
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What Happened Last Night?