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The Ballad of Lincoln the Lewd	By : Mr-Dusk Category: +G through L > The Loud House Views: 16524 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House. This fic is made for non-profit.

Chapter List
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Harsh cracking noises - like the snap of a branch forcibly torn from its trunk - could be heard coming from the bedchamber of Madame Paige. Foul language poured out of Lincoln’s mouth as he ripped his sword into Carol’s gash, striking at her with a many-thronged whip, on her back with vigorous anger.

“Have at thee! And that! And this too!” Lincoln exclaimed.

Carol had no issues or discomfort, in fact, she was enjoying it, “WHIP ME HARDER, MASTER!”

“Shut up, you CUNT!” Lincoln retorted.

Paige was sitting across from them, fondling herself, “Carol’s so lucky…”

Lincoln continued to shout and grunt as he punched into and lashed away at Carol, the pores on his skin dispensing sweat almost by the gallon as his body heat seemed to rise in his lewd fury.

Carol seemed to scream louder as her pleasurable agony continued. Lincoln lashed faster and harder even as he boned her.

“Damn you! DAMN YOU!” he shouted before he managed to release his punitive load into her, screaming out loud as he did.

Carol shrieked as she felt ooze enter into her, feeling her sex mouth tighten around her master’s length to drink as much of it as she could. Lincoln collapsed on top of her, his rage spent for now.

Paige closed in and snuggled with the two, not wanting to be left out…

...

Morning comes, and an exhausted Lincoln slowly strode towards the exit of the master’s quarters, dressed in just a shirt and an undergarment for his bottom. He turned his vision sideways and saw one of Ronnie Anne’s men pull his trousers up as he exited the bathroom, giving Lincoln a grateful gesture before heading downstairs.

Lincoln walked into the bathroom, seeing Ronnie Anne still restrained onto the apparatus that was built for her, drenched in the urine of her turncoat soldiers.

“Good morning, Ronnie Anne, I hope your men have been treating you well.” Lincoln lowered his undergarments and prepared to relieve himself on her, “Oh wait, they’re my men now, Lady Ronalda.” He quipped maliciously, “but they’ve definitely given you all the respect you deserve – none at all, in fact!” he gleefully let loose his golden shower on Ronnie Anne as she muttered some futile curses at him. “Now that’s what I call the good life.”

...

Lincoln and Paige were having breakfast together in the privacy of the Master dining room. A hearty meal of bread, smoked pork belly, and a mixed bowl of peas and chopped carrots, which Lincoln was quick to scarf down after having his energy spent.

“So, what are we going to do now, Sir Lincoln?” Paige asked, “The Viceroy is still dead, and the authorities will still need an answer.”

“Well, the first thing we will need to do is find out who killed him, and why.” Lincoln turned towards the open window, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, “But right now, that’s easier said than done, I can’t think of anyone who might want to get him out of the way.”

Paige leaned back in her seat, “Well, first things first, we should probably persuade Lady Ronalda if there’s any other suspects that the Knights have listed.”

“It will be hard to get her to break that information out for us,” Lincoln smiled deviously, “Not that I don’t like getting hard on her.”

Before they could continue speaking, Carol floated in with a tray of tea with her, “Anyone care for a nice little brew?”

Paige turned to the succubus as she set the drinks on the table for them, “Thank you, Miss Carol.”

Lincoln and Paige slowly sipped some of the tea, letting the flavor pass through and into their bellies.

“That’s some pretty good tea, did you make this Carol?” Lincoln asked.

“No, just a little something I whipped together.” She replied with a wry giggle.

“Well, whatever it is, I like it!” Paige exclaimed, finding the tea to be phenomenally exquisite.

“You are most welcome, my Lord and Lady. Oh, and just so you know, I added a special something inside that tea that I think the two of you would really love.”

“Oh, and what would that be, my dear?” Lincoln asked.

“I’d rather you and Miss Paige experience it for yourselves.” She said slyly.

“M-Master Lincoln…?” Paige could feel her body become unusually warm, beads of sweat glistening upon her fair skin. Her cheeks became flush with the color red, and her breathing became shallow, goosebumps of excitement rising from her spine.

“Paige? What in…” soon, symptoms of a comparable nature developed on Lincoln, and he too was overcome with feelings of zest within his body and mind.

“My Lord… I suddenly feel, like, my womanly urges needing satisfaction.” She responded as coherently as she could.

“Then…” with a wry smile, Lincoln approached her with all the charm of a forward and silver-tongued man, “Let us remedy those bothersome urges, my love.”

Immediately, Lincoln descended upon her with a passionate kiss, their mouths entering into each other like some sensual dagger digging into flesh. He scooped her in his arms and carried them away back to the boudoir, where much lewd merry-making between the man and his lover would commence.

Paige was hauled onto the sheets where Lincoln proceeded to unravel her clothing. He started on her breasts, which bounced around like gelatin wobbling on an unsteady table. He sucked on a nipple, erect and taut, while Paige splayed herself upon the fabric, letting her master have his feast. He deftly undid his pants and slipped Paige’s underwear off to find his gopher’s sweet, sweet burrow.

A sharp gasp of pleasure loosed from her lips and she cocked her head back as her eyes rolled up. Lincoln salivated uncontrollably on her breast, savoring the raw feeling of her nipple in his mouth, while his pecker dug into its mark and effortlessly slid in like a blade finding its sheath – a wet, meaty sheath.

Lincoln howled softly while Paige whimpered helplessly, twitching with each push forward from Lincoln. As for the white-haired beast, he rammed himself into her ladies’ gash, stabbing into it like a knife cutting some squelching lady-meat.

“Take that, and that! Have at thee, Lady Paige!” he shouted out excitedly.

“Mercy! Oh mercy!” Paige shouted back in response.

Lincoln slowed as he felt his balls get loose and his dick become tighter and stiffer. He heaved deep breaths and drooled sloppily from his outstretched tongue. He leaned down on top of Paige, burying his head into her marshmallow bust, holding her with an almost blood-stopping grip. He howled again and this time his spunk shot out and into her deposit, with Paige biting her lower lip as she squealed delightfully at him filling her up.

Upon finishing his deposit, Lincoln turned to the side and lied down next to Paige, both of them panting heavily. Paige leaned in close and kissed Lincoln gently on the cheek, before snuggling and napping next to him.

Carol floated next to Lincoln opposite Paige, “So, what did you think of my secret ingredient?”

Lincoln lifted a brow curiously, “You did something with that tea, didn’t you?”

“Yes, I’m sure it was to your liking, not like the poison some scallywag left in the kitchen spice rack.”

“Yeah, I…” Lincoln’s eyes flashed and his ears perked, “Wait, what?”

…

Ronnie Anne remained helplessly bound to the apparatus, her eyes closed in shame. How the mighty had fallen, for yesterday, she was the Lady First Knight, hobnobbing it in finery and commanding her own host of men; now she was disgraced, reduced to a living receptacle for urine among other vulgar acts dealt upon her in the past few hours.

The nearby window slid open, a brief gust of cold wind poured into the room. Muffled, imperceptible footfalls landed upon the sill as a shadowy figure stared into the dim room. It gently stepped onto the floor and tip-toed across towards the manacled Ronnie Anne, the dim light illuminating the silent figure that entered her view.

She smirked and loosed a brief chuckle, “Wow, Ronnie Anne, you look like shit.”

Ronalda’s face simmered for a moment as irritation roused her from her confinement, attempting to curse at her latest visitor and failing to do so.

“All right, all right, just give me a minute and I’ll release you from those bindings, even though I’m inclined to think you’re enjoying your current position.”

Once the clamps holding her mouth were removed, Ronnie Anne was able to utter coherent words for the first time in many hours.

“You’re late, Nikki.”

Nikki simply shrugged, “A cat does what she wants to do, Ronnie Anne, we can’t rush our business.”

Ronnie Anne tensed her muscles and almost lunged towards the cat, “Just get me the fuck out of here.”

Nikki resumed her act of setting Ronnie Anne free, “As you command, Lady First Knight.”

After she was completely free of the device, Nikki helped the sore and bruised Ronnie Anne up and off of the floor.

“Now, I don’t suppose you got a plan to get us out of here?” Ronnie Anne asked.

She pulled a satchel from the sling bag near her waist, “Don’t worry, I’ve got it all figured out.” Picking something from the bag, she pulled out a dab of thick, light blue pigment, and drew a shape onto the floor. Nikki began reciting a spell as the paint started glowing; an arch formed from it and the inner edge formed a shimmering surface, like the reflection of a pond. In a matter of seconds, an image formed upon the surface, showing the interior of what looked like a house of some sort.

Nikki made a gesture for Ronnie Anne to enter the portal, stating with unconcealed snide, “After you, Milady.”

“Piss off,” was Ronnie Anne’s reply.

The two ladies stepped into the portal, after which, it disappeared, while the pigment used to create it lost its color and eventually vanished.

…

Ronnie Anne and Nikki entered into living quarters that looked to have been built into the trunk of a tree. On one end was a burning fireplace, and across from that was an entrance that forked into a bedroom and a dining area. To the left and right of the fireplace was a trio of bookcases filled with tomes and scrolls and a table filled with various alchemical mechanisms, containers, compounds and poultices. Another table, smaller and circular, was stationed in the middle of the room and arrayed with four chairs.

“Whew, Ronnie Anne, you smell like that mess you left last time I let you use my latrine.”

“Will you can the comments on my odor,” she groaned miserably, “I need to get my bearings.”

“But in all seriousness, what in the Hells happened to you? You’re… well, a mess, to put it mildly.”

“I…” she sighed, “I got… overwhelmed.”

“Damn, I didn’t think this Paige person was that brutal to strap you on that thing. I mean, I suppose you had it coming but still…”

“It wasn’t Paige, you dolt, it was Sir Lincoln!”

Nikki looked puzzled, “Lincoln? You mean that one knight you keep bragging about being so much better than?”

Ronnie Anne nodded, “The very same. Damnable bastard somehow turned my men against me, ‘afore he forced himself upon my body.” She made some attempt at sorrow, “and I was saving myself for the man that would best me.”

“You mean you were saving yourself for Lincoln?” Nikki asked out of the blue.

Ronnie Anne's face went from sorrow to anger with a splash of embarassment, “WHAT? NO!”

“But didn’t he best you, pretty much?” Nikki replied matter-of-factly.

Ronnie Anne balled her hands into fists as she barked, “HE CHEATED! I was naked and caught off guard!”

“But you never lost to a fight even when you were overpowered and outnumbered before and…”

Ronnie Anne pressed her palm to Nikki’s mouth, “Up-up-up, I’m not going to argue this with you!”

Nikki just shrugged, “Very well, none of it changes the fact you’re a real woman now.”

Ronnie Anne raised her brow, “What do you mean by that?”

“I’m saying…” she smiled cheekily, “You’re finally not a virgin anymore ain’t’cha?”

Ronnie Anne groaned, “Ugh… will you shut up?”

Nikki continued, “And you’ve got the scent to prove it, too!”

Ronnie Anne was becoming seriously aggravated now, “Will you shut your mouth! I swear, if I didn’t need you I’d skin you alive and wear you as a fucking coat!”

Nikki changed the subject as soon as she glanced her finger, “Hey, where’s your ring?”

“That white-haired bastard took it from me when he confiscated my clothes.” Ronnie Anne responded.

“You mean… the ring that binds me to you?”

Ronnie Anne paused, and a creeping sense of horrified realization dawned upon her, “Fuck…”

Nikki attempted to reassure her, “....well, seeing that I still came to rescue you, I guess neither of them put it-“

Without warning, Nikki suddenly vanished in a puff of white smoke, Ronnie Anne’s face sank even further, “FUCK!”

…

Meanwhile, back with Lincoln, Paige had departed to ask the guards if they had spotted anyone suspicious, and more importantly, to find out where Ronnie Anne had disappeared to.

"Alright Carol, while Paige is dealing with the chefs and organizing the soldiers, we can talk-"

Nikki instantly materializes a few feet next to them.

"Uh oh…" Nikki sheepishly remarked.

Lincoln’s eyes widened in bewilderment at the sudden arrival, “What the… who… a cat?”

Carol smiled deviously, "Ooh, a maenad! Didn't think your kind would be skulking about in this land."

Nikki whips around, "A succubus? You got a succubus? Damn, no wonder Ronnie's men surrendered to you."

Lincoln spotted a collar on the maenad and grabbed hold of it, reading the name engraved upon it, "...Nikki? So...you know Ronnie Anne? Explain yourself."

Nikki waved her hands defensively, "Hey, hey, take it easy! I just came here to rescue her because of this stupid enchantment she put on my collar, making me do her bidding so long as she was the last person wearing that ring... at least, until now."

Lincoln glanced briefly to the ring he had put on earlier, that he and Carol were discussing earlier, "...Huh, guess this ring is enchanted Carol. I owe you a favor."

Carol smiled, "You shouldn't make a bet against me when it comes to magic sweetie."

"Hey, it’s hard to tell when you're lying...so what's a maenad?" Lincoln asked.

Carol proceeded to explain, "Well, Nikki pretty much sums it up: they're felinoids who live in isolated enclaves, far from other races. Their innately magical nature means that they don't exactly conform to normal biological limitations of procreation, so they can mate using sperm from just about anyone or anything; furthermore, they're highly adept and intimate with magic. Normally they don't leave unless they're looking for a mate "

Lincoln proceeded to softy pet Nikki's head, "Oh really? And that's when you ran into Ronnie Anne?"

Nikki nodded, and purred softly, "Yeah, pretty much, she placed a hex on this collar that forces me to obey her while she's holding one of my nine lives, one of which is in that ring."

“I see…” Lincoln motioned for Carol towards him and Nikki, “Carol, do you think you could help remove this collar?”

“As you command, sire,” Carol floated behind the maenad, and placed her hands inches from the sides of the collar. Her hands began to glow with a golden light, and within a minute, the magical collar opened and clinked towards the floor.

Nikki felt her neck, bare for the first time in many months, and she looked towards Lincoln, surprised for what he did, “You… you’re… setting me free?”

“Naturally,” Lincoln responded with his friendly tone, “I’m sorry for you having to live under Ronnie Anne’s thumb for so long, it must’ve been rough.”

She shook her head, “It’s no biggie, though I will admit I’ve gotten awful tired of that guttermouth knight’s presence to last me a lifetime.”

Suddenly, a proverbial light bulb lit up in her mind, “And I think I know just how to give her the comeuppance she deserves.”

Nikki reached for her bag and pulled out the magical pigment she used earlier to help herself and Ronnie Anne escape, “This is a special compound pigment that creates portals that allow me to quickly travel from place to place, it’s how me and Ronalda left without a trace.”

Lincoln rubbed his chin thoughtfully, “Hmm… intriguing, but, what are you going to do?”

Nikki winked, “You’ll see, just give me a moment.” Nikki rapidly put together a symbol on the floor using the pigment, before proceeding to recite an incantation that caused the symbol to begin illuminating.

The pigment suddenly rose forth from the floor and over both hers and Lincoln’s head, then it began spinning rapidly, and glowing even brighter. Soon a shimmering surface formed within the ring.

The surface within the ring eventually broke as a figure fell through with a loud thud, and collapsed on the floor was the Lady First Knight Ronalda, still naked and smelling of urine.

Lincoln curved a devious smile, “Well, well, well… Things have a way of turning around for you, don’t they, Ronnie Anne?”

“Damn you!” In desperation, Ronnie Anne attempted to strike at Lincoln.

“I don’t think so!” Nikki screeched as she pinned Ronnie Anne to the floor, holding the collar above her head.

Upon seeing the object clutched in her paws, Ronnie’s anger was suddenly replaced with paralyzing fear.

“No, not the collar! Please!” She squirmed as Nikki held onto her and refused to let her go.

Nikki smiled deviously, “Hmm… what do you say to that, Sir Lincoln?”

“What would I say indeed?” Lincoln replied.

Ronnie huddled cowardly on the floor, trying to cover her neck, “Stop! No! Please!”

Lincoln leered at her, his voice condescending, “Oh? What was that now?”

She shrieked in panic, “I...I'll submit! Please, don't bind me to that..."

Nikki scoffed, “You bound me to it, you know…”

Ronnie remained paralyzed with fear, “I know, and I know that was wrong but... but... please, I beg of you Sir Lincoln, don't do this to me...”

This aggravated Lincoln, whose tone changed to one of vindictive hostility, memories of her abuse clear in his mind, “Why should I? You've done nothing but treat us like filthy dogs, why wouldn't you deserve this?”

“I didn't say I don't deserve it...after all I've done towards you, towards my men, towards countless other people I probably deserve the gallows...but please, I can't bear to be bound to that collar.” She groveled miserably, “Do you know what happens to people who are bound to it? They lose their minds, their memory, their personality… Nikki only survived it because she's a maenad.”

Lincoln paused, briefly considering whether to put the collar on or not. Carol nudged Lincoln, enticing him to put it on the little bitch.

Nikki was likewise excited to give Ronnie Anne her comeuppance for all the days she’s been coerced to serve her.

Ronnie pleaded once again, tears streaming from her eyes, “Please...please don't destroy my mind. I'll do anything you want. I'll even drop the investigation. Just please… don’t put that thing on me…”

Lincoln gazed at her intensely, contemplating what he would do now that he was in a position to arbitrate her fate. He could have put her in her place right there, let her know justice for all the hardships and humiliation she’s put him through, put Nikki through, and gods-knows whoever else dared to so much as glance at her in a funny way.

He could have lorded over and abused her like she did over him…

But he decided not, “No… Ronnie Anne, you are a cunt, you deserve nothing less than to sleep with pigs and eat dirt, but… I am nothing like you, I am not some bastard cur who thinks lowly of all others above or beneath them.”

He turned to Carol, who seemed disappointed but vaguely delighted by Lincoln’s firm but fair character, “Take her to the dungeon, I need to go see Paige and get her abreast of these… developments.”

...

A lot had happened in the past two days since Ronnie Anne arrived, and Lincoln had only enough time to scrape together the pieces of information to get a general idea of what happened, though now he felt tired from putting his gray matter to so much use in such a short time that he needed a break.

As he sat down in front of the fireplace of the main bedchamber, he cozied himself into the cushioned seat, letting his tense shoulders loosen. Just as it seemed he could get comfy, a weight plopped onto his lap.

“Meow!” The felinoid form of Nikki suddenly dropped in front of him, catching him by surprise as a yelp and some breath left his lips.

“Nikki? What’s wrong?” he asked, once he retrieved his bearings.

She just giggled, “What does it look like? I’m trying to form my bond with you.”

“Bond, what do you mean?” Lincoln asked.

“Well, it’s the custom of my people. As your succubus friend explained, maenad rarely emerge from their homes except in search of a mate, and I’ll be blunt, Sir Knight, but I think I’ve found the perfect mate in you.” She explained.

“Me?” Lincoln was a bit puzzled, “But, what have I done to qualify for such an… honor?”

She nuzzled into his chest, purring softly, “I say you’re more than qualified; I mean, if you can best Ronnie Anne so easily and have a succubus as your thrall, you are more than capable of being my mate...”

“Well, if you insist, my dear…” Lincoln gently cupped her chin, “How about you disrobe from that tabard you’re wearing?”

She smiled, “But of course,” She removed the tabard and Lincoln’s eyes were treated to a sight he never would have dreamed of seeing. Nikki’s torso was bare and smooth, from her shoulder to her waist she was almost as thin as a twig, but from her hips and downward she was thick and wide as a horse’s flank. Pristine white fur grew from the middle of her thighs and biceps and extended down to her toes and fingertips, and a white tail extended from just above her buttocks. But it was her most visibly plain feature that caught his eyes – her breasts, all six of them.

“Does my form please you, Master Lincoln?” Nikki asked coyly.

If Lincoln’s erection were any indication, then it most certainly was, “I… I… um, y-your breasts…” he stammered.

A flash of insight shone in her eyes, “Oh, I take it you’ve never seen maenad teats before, haven’t you?”

Lincoln shook his head in response. The bemused maenad moved her face close to his, their noses making contact, “We maenad need plenty of them once our litters are born, same as any of your common housecats, you know?”

Lincoln nodded, still looking upon her teats, which prompted Nikki to rise from her position and have one of them poke him gently on his face, which stiffened Lincoln even further, “Go ahead” she stated, “You’re my mate, you should have the first honor of touching me intimately.”

Lincoln agreed, and he wasted no time in gripping her soft, feline teat.

“Ooh!” she purred, “Such a strong grip!”

Lincoln then proceeded to grab a second of her teats, a bit lower and on the opposite side of the first one.

“Hehe...” Nikki giggled, “Are you having fun, master?”

Lincoln answered her question by putting his mouth over another of her mammaries, this time putting his lips and tongue over the nipple.

“Meow!” she cried out, “Oh, master!”

Lincoln let go of the captured nipple before moving to the one next to it while he grabbed, poked, and pulled some of her other breasts with his hands. He alternated between the nipples of her top two tits, occasionally rolling his tongue down the center.

“Nyhaaaa, so much vigor!” she moaned as she swooned on his lap, feeling the growing bulge pushing up his pants’ fabric.

Lincoln stopped fondling the maenad's tits and instead put his hands on her sides. He then moved his head up and down the three pairs of breasts while shaking from side to side, motorboating all six of them.

Nikki put her hands onto her new master's head, “Ahh, yeah, you know how to treat a girl right, but we really should move on to the main course!”

Lincoln slowly stopped and looked up at the taller felinoid with a grin, “You mean… the mating part?”

She nodded, and pushed herself off of him and the chair, turning around and bending over on all fours with her tail swishing in the air, exposing her white fur-coated pussy that was soaked in some liquid that gave off a sweet scent that hit Lincoln's nostrils like an arrow. She grinned at him while peeking from between her legs, “Come Sir Knight...”

In but a few short seconds, Lincoln had jumped up from his chair, pulled down his trousers, and unleashed his fleshsword for the third battle today. He quickly thrust into the maenad, and slapped his palms onto her furry thighs.

“Nyhaaaa!!!” she let out a beastly wail.

This only served to temper Lincoln's sword as he plunged into his newest conquest and mated with this creature. The fur all around his dick, and the unique shape of her folds granting him a new sensation in conjunction with fucking yet another virgin, and another magical being.

“Yes! Yes! Oh master, yes! Please fill me with your seed!” Nikki's pitch rose higher and higher with each passing moment, then her mouth opened up, showing off her cute fanged teeth and letting loose her long cat-like tongue as her face became beet red. Her insides began to tighten around Lincoln's dick.

“Ah, fuck, oh gods, what's happening?” Lincoln asked, not losing his pace with the new pressure.

“I'm...gonna squeeze out... your sperm, master! Please get me pregnant! I want your litter!”

Whether it was her sex feeling so good or the titillating words from Nikki’s mouth, Lincoln's mind was lost to his savage lust overcoming him; he pressed onward, bucking and thrusting into his new lover as the pressure on his lance becoming greater, he unleashed a torrent of baby batter into the maenad's womb.

“Ah...yes...yes...” Tears of joy streamed down her face as she grinned madly and blood brightened her face.

Lincoln slowed his thrusting and held his hips up as he felt his scrotum empty. He pulled out his sword and fell back onto the chair, exhausted. “Oh gods...you're definitely going to have my child now...” he wheezed.

Nikki giggled, “Don't be silly master...I'm gonna have five or six of them.”

“FIVE OR SIX?”

…

After a brief explanation on how child-bearing worked in the Maenad lands, Lincoln finally calmed down. “So...they're all going to just be sent back to your family?”

Nikki nuzzled Lincoln's chest, now sitting in his lap, “Well...I do want to keep one to raise myself...if that's okay with you master...”

She cozied up next to him on the seat, and Lincoln smiled lovingly as he caressed and petted his new pet-lover, “I think I would like that a lot Nikki.”

Paige and Carol stared at the two from the crack of the slightly ajar door, and they both agreed to let Lincoln enjoy his new addition.

…

“Yes, I’m sure it was to your liking, not like the poison some scallywag left in the kitchen spice rack.”

“Yeah, I…” Lincoln’s eyes flashed and his ears perked, “Wait, what?”

“Oh, right, I haven’t told you yet,” Carol shrugged, “There was some sneaky lady skulking in the kitchen and planting some nasty consumables into the spice rack. Obviously, I wasn’t about to let her get away with offing my Master like that.”

Lincoln’s eyes broadened, “W-wha… when were you going to tell me this?”

“Master, you know I don’t care about the stuff you mortals do, only that this stuff…” she produced the vial of poison from her hiding place and set it down on the table, “…would kill you, and that was simply unacceptable to me.”

Lincoln took the vial and examined it, as though trying to pry some message from the glass and its lethal contents, “Hmm… I wonder if this assassin had something to do with the death of our friend, the Viceroy.”

Carol floated next to him, becoming slightly intrigued, “Hmm… might be a bit of a stretch, but I think I understand what you’re getting at, Master.”

Lincoln raised the vial up triumphantly, “It feels great to have a clue… now, if only we had some kind of alchemist to help us identify what this poison is, and more importantly, where it came from, and we might be able to solve this little mystery once and for all.”

…
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The Ballad of Lincoln the Lewd