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What She'd Been Missing	By : Trillhouse Category: +G through L > The Loud House Views: 8870 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
AUTHOR'S NOTE
Sheesh. Alright, here it is. Really sorry for the wait, honestly I have no excuse for it; I'm just way too easily distracted by my art and greentext stories. Going forward, I think I'm going to try going for slightly shorter chapters released more frequently. Note that by 'shorter' I mean short by my usual standards.
You may also notice that I'm breaking the pattern with this as opposed to 'More Than A Sister'. In all honesty, I'm still having a lot of trouble with it and I'm still not sure what the heck to do with the climax. So I decided to push on with this for now and delay the next chapter of MTAS until I've got more of a handle on it. Please bear with me.

"…You're pretty good." Bobby said quietly as Loan easily caught up to him from 9th place.
"Well, I… have a lot of time to practice." Loan admitted. Bobby simply nodded; even he could tell that Loan didn't really do much besides sit around and do what she wanted all day. He had to admit, he was a bit jealous.
"I don't…" He grumbled. "I'm really bad at games, but I like them." They were on the Flower cup now, and even with Loan's tips he had yet to manage higher than 3rd place… even in the Mushroom Cup.
"You're not so bad… and you're already doing a lot better." Loan said.
"…Thanks."
"So… you really read all those books, huh…?" Loan asked, taking a brief glance towards her brother's bookshelf. Bobby nodded, not taking his eyes off the game for a second. "And physical copies, too…"
"…I like to read," Bobby muttered. "Grandma Rita got me a tablet once, but it wasn't the same. I… like holding a book. Is that weird…?"
"N-no… not at all. It's… cool, honestly." Loan said with a smile. "Not too many- oops, look ou-" Loan flinched as her green shell bounced off a barrier and hit Bobby's kart, sending him back to 5th place. "S-sorry…" She said, laughing nervously as Bobby gave her an irritated glance. They'd had an agreement to not go after one another… after all, only one of them needed to win the cup for it to count.
"…It's fine." Bobby sighed. "Just a mistake." He drove through an item box, snagging a blue shell for his trouble… only to use it just as Loan slipped into first place. Loan gaped open-mouthed as the explosion flung her off the track.
"Hey!"
"Sorry…" Bobby said with a sly smirk. "…Finger slipped." Loan gave an exaggerated pout before giggling into her palm.
"I-I guess I deserved it. I'll be more careful." She promised.
"Anyway…" Bobby mumbled. "You're the only person that thinks it's cool. E-everyone else just thinks I'm… y'know. Weird." Loan frowned, glancing over at him.
"Why would they think that…?" She asked softly.
"Nobody else my age reads," He explained. "At least… not like I do. Some of them can barely read at all, even the easy stuff. I don't get it. I could read before I could talk… why can't they read now?" Bobby let out a small sigh. "…But, no. I'm the weird one."
"O-oh…" Loan muttered, taking a moment to get back to 2nd place. "Well I mean… you do read pretty advanced books, you know…? Like, stuff for grown-ups."
"…I read whatever I can read," Said Bobby. "Words are words, and I can read them, and I know what they mean. But nobody else does, and they can't understand what I mean either." His brow furrowed. "…So I just don't talk to them. I-I don't know how to, anyway. When I try, I just… can't."
"Don't you have any friends?" Loan asked.
"…No."
"None…? Like, not even one?"
"…No." Bobby repeated. "There's a few people I can talk to, but that's it.."
"W-well, if it makes you feel any better… I've never really had any friends either." Loan admitted. "There's some people I talk to online, but that's a bit… easier for me."
"Are you shy too…?" Her little brother asked.
"Well, yeah… th-there's a bit more to it than that, but yeah, I am." She said.
"…It sucks, doesn't it?" Bobby mumbled.
"Language, Bobby."
The siblings yelped and dropped their controllers in surprise. Bobby quickly scrambled to pause the game before turning to see his father standing in the doorway, watching the two with a bemused smirk on his face.
"O-oh… hey, dad." Loan greeted him with a bashful smile. "Um… how long have you been there?"
"A little bit. Didn't want to interrupt." Lincoln chuckled. "Looked like you two were having fun." Loan beamed and nodded, but Bobby simply blushed and looked away.
"…Loan's teaching me stuff." Bobby muttered. "She's good."
"I bet. Anyway, I was about to order, so… Loan, what do you like on your pizza?"
"Oh, um… cheese is fine." She said.
"Keepin' it simple. And Bobby, the usual? Green peppers and pineapple?" Lincoln asked his son, receiving little more than a small grunt of approval in response. "Alright, sounds good. I'll leave you guys to it, then."
"…Okay. Thanks." Bobby said quietly before turning back to the game. Lincoln grinned, taking one last glance at the two before departing. "A-anyway, let's get back to-" The boy began, before realizing that his sister was staring had him with a grimace of disgust. "…What?"
"Pineapple…?" Loan gasped. "Pineapple on p-pizza? With peppers?"
"…Yeah?" Bobby cocked an eyebrow. "What about it?"
"That's… that's gross."
"No it's not."
"Y-yes it is!" Loan stammered. "It's… it's pizza!"
"Yeah, and I like those things on it." Bobby muttered. "Have you ever even tried it?"
"Well, I… n-no, I guess not…" Loan mumbled sheepishly, scratching at her cheek. "B-but I don't even like pineapple or peppers on their own…"
"You're missing out, then." Said Bobby. "…It's good."
"I'll, uh… I'll just take your word for it." Loan sighed, picking up her controller.
The race ended with Loan in 1st place and Bobby in 4th; he didn't particularly mind, as 4th was still good by his standards. There was still one more to go, but quite frankly Bobby doubted they could possibly lose at this point… Loan had come in 1st place in all three races thus far.
"Hey, um, Bobby…" Loan began just as they were about to continue to the next race. "You know, if you'd like… maybe I could be your friend?" Bobby blinked and looked up at his big sister.
"…You?" He asked. Loan smiled and nodded. "But… you're my sister."
"Why can't I be both?" Loan offered. Bobby averted his eyes and scrunched up his brow in thought.
"I'm… just a kid, though." Bobby said. "Why would you want to be friends with me…?" Loan tilted her head slightly.
"Why wouldn't I? I'm kinda still a kid myself, y'know…" Loan said with a self-depreciating laugh. "Besides… I like you a lot." Her brother turned a light pink and flipped his hood over his head, earning him a giggle from Loan. Bobby peeked at her from the corner of his eye; in truth, he kind of liked her too. He liked talking to her, at least. She was nice.
"U-um…" The boy stammered. "…Okay." Loan's grin grew wider.
"I guess that's that, then." Loan said cheerfully. "You're my first real friend."
"…Yeah." Bobby said, turning his head slightly to hide his smirk. "…You too." With that, Bobby pressed the button and moved on to the next race.
"O-oh, I almost forgot…" Loan gasped as the map loaded. "During the countdown, start accelerating at '2'. It'll give you a boost at the start." Bobby's eyebrows rose slightly and he gave a small nod. Sure enough, as soon as the race began Bobby and Loan surged ahead of the other racers.
"Thank you," Bobby muttered. "Um… I have other games I could use help in too… after this, I mean." He chewed his lip, fidgeting awkwardly. "I-if you want, anyway…" Loan took a moment to respond as she focused on avoiding a green shell.
"…Which ones?"

Ronnie stared idly out the car window as the darkened streets of Hazeltucky passed by, illuminated only by the streetlamps lining the sidewalk. It was late. Again. Or early, depending on how you looked at it. She sighed, massaging her tired eyes before glancing up again. She hated taking an Uber at this hour… the streets were empty and she never felt quite safe. Granted, she'd never had any problems in the past, and she was sure she could take care of herself if she did, but still. She wished they could afford a second car; 'someday', Lincoln promised. She knew he meant it, but quite frankly 'someday' couldn't come soon enough.
Ever since she was a child, she had wanted to be a chef. Well, that or a professional skater, but as she mellowed out with age so too did her aspirations. When she first set down this path she had been so confident, so sure she could handle the long hours and demanding customers. But she hadn't accounted for marriage. She hadn't accounted for motherhood. Ronnie loved to cook, but becoming a chef may have been the worst decision of her life.
Of course, that was far from the only thing weighing on her mind. The past five days had been an absolute whirlwind; the mere fact that she was working at a time like this was borderline absurd. But she had to. Like it or not, she was the primary breadwinner for the family… not that she resented her husband's choice to follow his passion. She would have it no other way. Still, between the stress of her job and the sudden, drastic changes in her life, she felt as though she was near her breaking point. Hell, she'd nearly snapped at the head chef today, an offense that very well could have cost her a job.
Ronnie was grateful for the life she had. She had a wonderful husband, a precious son, a nice house… everything she could have asked for. And yet, her life had been marked by one tragedy after another, both large and small. First, her father leaving her mother… effectively walking out of their lives without hesitation. Then, being taken away from her comfortable life in Royal Woods and thrust into a tiny apartment with ten others for… some reason. The loss of her brother, and of her grandfather not even a year thereafter. Her friends leaving for brighter pastures, one after the other. Her premature labor. The son she'd nearly lost.
The daughter she had lost.
And now this. That she-devil, the woman that had taken her brother from her… Ronnie never could have imagined that she could hate her more than she already had. But of course, leave it to Lori Loud to force her way into her life again, one last hurrah before fucking off to God knows where. Lori had raped her own brother. Her husband, the second most important person in her life after the only child they could ever have. She'd birthed his daughter in secret, cut him out of her life entirely, and then upon the revelation of what she'd done, scarred him for life. Perhaps even broken him, the same way that her actions had broken that poor girl.
Against her wishes, that same girl was now living under her roof… right beside her son. It wasn't that she didn't trust Loan; indeed, she was like a different person when she'd taken her medication. But Ronnie couldn't help but feel trepidation at the situation she'd been thrust into. In a single night, her entire life had changed… not only hers, but Lincoln's and Bobby's as well. She knew there was little option: Loan couldn't be on her own. It was either let her stay with the father she never knew she'd had, or leave her in the hands of that awful woman. Her initial hostility aside, her conscience would only allow for the former.
Whether she liked it or not, Loan was here to stay. She was a good person, innocent of her mother's misdeeds… she deserved to know her father, and Lincoln deserved to know his daughter. The girl had suffered enough. The least Ronnie could do was welcome her with open arms.
Besides… Loan's arrival was far too fortuitous to be mere coincidence. Perhaps it was more than that.
Soon enough, Ronnie arrived home. The foyer was dark, and the light from the upstairs hallway told her that Lincoln was still awake and hard at work. Ronnie let out a small sigh; she hated that her husband was pushing himself like this. It was far from the first time he'd been put in this position, and she knew fully well that it wouldn't be the last… but she couldn't help but worry for him nonetheless.
Ronnie dragged her exhausted body up the stairs and down the hall to Lincoln's studio. Sure enough, he was so focused on his work that he didn't even hear her enter. For a moment, she simply watched in silence. It had always impressed her… as much as gourmet cooking was a form of art in its own way, this was something far outside her realm of understanding. He always made it look so effortless, though she knew that wasn't the case.
"Lincoln." She said, making her husband let out a small yelp and put a line through the page. He turned and shot her a mildly irritated glance that she could only snicker at. "Hey." Lincoln's annoyance faded into a smirk and he chuckled under his breath.
"…Hey." He said as he got up from his chair. "How was work?" Ronnie frowned slightly.
"It was… you know. It was work." Ronnie sighed. She approached her husband carefully, his frightened reaction from the previous night still fresh in her mind. "How was-" Before she could finish, Lincoln pulled his wife into a deep, passionate kiss. Her eyes went wide in surprise and she froze up for a moment before melting into his embrace; after several seconds their kiss broke, leaving a slightly flustered Ronnie in her husband's arms. "W-wow." She stammered. "You, uh… wow. A-are you… okay, now? About… you know." Lincoln frowned slightly, averting his eyes.
"Dr. Patel… helped me come to term with some things." Lincoln muttered. "I'm still not over it… not completely. But I guess she put it all in perspective. Some of it, at least. I don't know." He sighed and scratched the back of his head. "I'm going to start seeing her, I think. Or… talking to her. You know what I mean." Ronnie smiled and hugged him a bit tighter.
"You'll get there," Ronnie said quietly. "I know you will. You're strong like that."
"Well, I've got a great woman supporting me." Lincoln said with a smirk. Ronnie's cheeks flushed and she broke away from her husband.
"O-okay, okay… sheesh. I'm too tired to go weak in the knees tonight," She muttered. "So… everything good with Loan, then?" Her husband nodded.
"Everything's great. Actually, she and Bobby have been getting along already… can you believe that?" Lincoln said.
"Already…?" Ronnie raised her eyebrows in surprise. That was fast, for Bobby… usually it would take far longer for him to warm up to somebody, be they family or not.
"They were playing games together earlier, and they were just… talking." Lincoln explained. "At dinner, too. I think Bobby likes her."
"No kidding?" Ronnie asked. "Well… that's great, then." She had to admit, she was relieved. One of her biggest concerns had been how Bobby might take all of this. He was a sensitive boy, after all… and this was a massive change to thrust upon him so suddenly. "Have you… talked to him about her 'conditions' yet…?" Lincoln was just about to say 'yes' when it dawned on him that no, he hadn't. He had meant to, but between work and everything else it had slipped his mind.
"Um… tomorrow." Lincoln said. Ronnie gave him an annoyed look and he put up his hands in submission. "I promise! Tomorrow, okay? Just been… you know. There's a lot going on." Ronnie's eyes narrowed briefly before she let out a sigh of resignation. She supposed he was right… she could hardly blame him for letting it slip his mind, given the situation.
"Alright, you better." She half-heartedly warned. "Anyway… I take it you won't be coming to bed tonight?" She asked with a note of sadness in her voice. Lincoln frowned and shook his head.
"…Sorry." Lincoln said quietly. "I have to keep working-"
"I know, I know… I understand." Ronnie grumbled. "But when this is over, you are getting some rest." She poked her husband in the chest to emphasize her point.
"Trust me, I'm not gonna fight you on that." Lincoln assured her. "Once this job's finished there's nothing I wanna do more than pass out." Well, that and spent some quality time with Loan, but he figured he shouldn't give his wife any more ammo. For now, at least, she seemed satisfied.
"Good. I'll leave you to it, then." Ronnie said. She gave her husband a quick kiss. "Goodnight, Lincoln. Try to get at least a few hours' sleep, okay?"
"I'll try. Goodnight, honey." The two shared a smile before Lincoln sat down and got back to work. Ronnie sighed softly and left the room, being sure to close the door behind her. As happy as she was to know that Lincoln was seeking treatment, she was sure there was still a long road ahead for him. Still, he was strong… well, no, he was actually kind of a wimp, but she knew he was strong enough to not let this hold him back. He'd overcome everything else life had thrown at him thus far, after all.
Ronnie made her way to Bobby's room and quietly opened the door to check on him. She made this a nightly routine; since she worked so late, she was never able to wish him good night during the week. Quite frankly, it stung a bit. Apart from the weekends, she hardly even got to see him… and that was only assuming she wasn't called into work to fill in for another chef. It was as if she couldn't even form a relationship with her only son, all because of her job.
…A job she hated more and more with each passing day.
Her son was sleeping on his side with a calm, peaceful expression on his face. Ronnie couldn't help but smile at the sight. She gently stroked the boy's hair before bending down to kiss his forehead, making him shift slightly in his sleep. It was impossible to overstate how much Bobby meant to her. Someday, she would tell him about the circumstances of his birth… and JUST how special he actually was.
She exited and quietly closed the door behind her. She was about to head back downstairs and collapse into her bed, but something caught her ear: faint music from the room next door. Judging from the dim light from underneath the door, she figured Loan must still be awake. Ronnie hesitated for a moment. It was late, yes… but she hadn't really had any time to speak with her step-daughter one-on-one. With that in mind, she lightly rapped on Loan's door.
"C-come in!" A startled-sounding voice said from within. Ronnie rolled her eyes; it seemed like everyone was jumpy as of late. Though, given the circumstances, she supposed she could hardly blame them. She opened the door to find Loan lying on her stomach, her laptop sitting open before her.
"Oh…! R-Ronnie… hello." Loan stammered. She seemed a bit surprised to see Ronnie there, of all people.
"Hey, Loan." Ronnie greeted her. "How's it going?"
"Um… good." Loan shifted around to a seated position and gave her stepmother a nervous smile. "Did you need me for something…?"
"No, no… just figured I'd say check in, as long as you're still up." Ronnie leaned against the door and crossed her arms. "So… how's everything been going? Are you comfortable?" Loan seemed to brighten up a bit and she nodded.
"Yes, I am. Thank you." Loan said. "Um… are you doing okay? You look… tired." She sounded genuinely concerned… only making Ronnie feel even guiltier than before.
"I'm fine. Just… you know. Work." Ronnie mumbled before sighing softly and scratching the back of her head. "Hey, so… I'm sorry if I've been… distant." Loan frowned and leaned forward a bit.
"Y-you don't have to apologize. You've got work-"
"That's… not what I mean." Ronnie said. "I haven't been very welcoming towards you, and I just want to apologize for that."
"Oh…" Loan muttered. "B-but I think you've been very welcoming towards me, Ronnie. You're letting me stay here even though I'm, you know… me. That's… that's more than I would expect from anyone."
"Well… I don't want to lie to you, Loan. I wasn't on board. Not at first, anyway." Ronnie noticed Loan's face fall slightly at that.
"I-I'm sorry. I know I just kind of… barged into your life." Loan said quietly. "I-if I'd known-"
"You couldn't have known, Loan." Ronnie assured her. "And you didn't barge in. You… did nothing wrong here. I did. I said some… terrible things about you. Things I didn't mean, and that I'll never say again." Ronnie averted her eyes, mulling over her next words. "Loan… I need to ask you something. You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but… are you religious at all? Do you believe in God?" Her stepdaughter seemed to tense up a bit at the question.
"I-I, um…" Loan stammered, fidgeting awkwardly. "I-I dunno if I'd… say that." She sounded almost apologetic, but Ronnie just gave a small chuckle and a reassuring smile.
"It's okay. I don't hold it against you. Lincoln isn't a believer either, but I married him all the same." Ronnie said. If she were to be completely honest, she could hardly blame the girl given the things she'd endured in her life thus far. "I grew up in a catholic family, but I wouldn't really say I follow it. I just kind of… have my own beliefs, I guess. But I do believe in God, and that he has a hand in all of our lives… even if he's not always watching."
"That's… a nice thought, I guess." Loan agreed. Not that it changed her opinion on the matter, but it was strangely comforting at the very least.
"When you came here, you were just trying to get away for a bit. Instead, you found your father." Ronnie explained. "It could have been fate. It could have just been dumb luck. But personally, I like to think that something guided you here… whether you knew it or not. It'd be wrong of me to deny you that. Besides… I hear Bobby likes you, so that makes you alright by me." Loan's face lit up.
"Oh… yes! Bobby's… he's really sweet." She seemed to perk up immediately at the mention of her little brother. "I, uh… I always wanted a little brother or sister, so… you know. It's nice to finally have that…" Ronnie smirked and nodded.
"He's a great kid. I think it'll be good to have someone like you around… you know, someone a bit more on his wavelength." Ronnie sighed. "He's a bit… different from most kids, as I'm sure you've noticed."
"I don't think that's a bad thing," Loan said with a smile. "He's really smart."
"Yeah, well… maybe a bit too smart for his own good." Ronnie groaned, making her stepdaughter giggle softly. "Anyway… we'll talk more over the weekend. I want to get to know you better, y'know?" Loan nodded.
"I'd like that too." She said.
"Anyway…" Ronnie stifled a yawn. "I'm beat. I'm gonna hit the hay, so-"
"U-um… wait..." Loan mumbled, twiddling her thumbs sheepishly. "There's… something I wanted to ask you, if that's okay." Ronnie raised an eyebrow.
"Go on."
"Right, well…" Loan cleared her throat. "You… don't like my mom, do you…?" Her stepmother frowned, her brow furrowing slightly. She couldn't blame Loan for asking… hell, she'd nearly jumped the poor girl the first time they met.
It would be so easy to demonize her mother. To tell her that Lori was a monster, a horrible human being that had done nothing but hurt the people she cared about. But she couldn't; not to Loan. Despite everything, she knew that Loan still loved her mother and, despite her animosity towards the woman, Ronnie knew that Lori loved her daughter with all her heart. She took a deep breath through her nose.
"…That's nothing you need to worry about, Loan." Ronnie said gently. "It's in the past, and it's… between us." Loan seemed a bit disappointed, but she nodded nonetheless. "Hey… don't worry about it. I don't have anything against you. Maybe someday I'll talk about it, but not today."
"…Okay. I understand."
"Good." Ronnie said with a smirk. "Anyway… goodnight, Loan."
"Y-yes, you too." Loan replied with a smile of her own. "And… thank you. For being honest with me, I mean."
"You don't need to thank me for that." Ronnie chuckled. "Don't stay up too late, alright? You're young still. You need your beauty sleep."
"I'll try. Thank you, Ronnie." The two women exchanged a grin, and with that Ronnie was off, shutting the door behind her. She had the distinct feeling that Loan wasn't going to go to bed any time soon, but it was worth a try at least.
The girl was her responsibility too, after all.

Once again, Lori couldn't sleep.
It was true what they said: you never really appreciate what you have until it's gone. Not even a week prior, everything had been normal. Well, perhaps not normal, but normal for her and her daughter. And yet within the course of a single night, that had all changed. Her baby girl had been taken from her; or rather, she had driven her away.
Of course… she supposed this had been building up for a long time.
Lori sighed and got out of bed. She wasn't going to get any sleep dwelling on things like this… perhaps some tea would soothe her a bit. She slipped her feet into her slippers and paused a moment to examine herself in the nearby mirror. Her busted lip was looking a little bit better, the swelling having gone down quite a bit. The bruise on the side of her head, however, may have looked even worse than it had before. Still, she knew fully well that she deserved it. She deserved worse than that.
As she made her way to the kitchen, Lori couldn't help but notice just how empty the apartment felt now. She supposed it had always been this way… a lifeless, excessive testament to her wealth. Just like her expensive car, her designer clothes, the dignified manner in which she presented herself, it was all just a mask to disguise the true Lori. The same insecure, self-absorbed, pathetic girl she had been twenty-one years ago.
And now, the one light she had left in her life was gone.
Lori filled the kettle with water and put it on the stove, then leaned against the countertop and waited. She hadn't used the thing since Loan left… chamomile tea always helped calm the girl's nerves a bit. Perhaps it would do the same for her.
Lori's gaze fell onto the plane ticket sitting upon the counter. She'd considered just ripping them up far too many times to count, but to turn down an offer like this on such short notice would be career suicide. And right now, her career was pretty much all she had left.
Before long, the kettle began to whistle and she took it off the heat. Lori liked her tea the same way Loan did: with just a hint of honey. She didn't feel like returning to her room at the moment, so instead she sat on the couch and set the mug down on the coffee table to cool. She let out a sigh as she leaned back into the switch and picked up the remote.
As Lori idly flipped through the channels, she eventually came to a fishing program; quite possibly the most boring thing she could imagine, but for now it would do. She wasn't really looking for something to watch, anyway… just something to break the silence.
She sipped her tea, watching two old men trying to catch some trout without really focusing on it. Her nights had been difficult since Loan left; without work or preparations for the move to distract her, there was little she could do but dwell on things.
Lori had taken her daughter for granted… she'd never spent much quality time with Loan. Hell, between her job and Loan's reclusive nature, some days she barely saw the girl at all. They shared no interests… or rather, Lori had never made the effort to share in her interests. She'd never tried to play games with her, or watch one of her silly cartoons with her, or anything. It also dawned on her that while she knew her daughter like to draw, she was pretty sure she had never seen a single one of her drawings.
What the hell had she been doing all these years?
It was too late now to make up for lost time. In two weeks time, Lori would be heading off to Japan… alone. Even if that weren't the case, Loan didn't want to speak to her. And why would she? Her daughter had every right to be disgusted with her. She'd lied. She'd hurt her. She'd hurt Lincoln, in ways that unsurprisingly hit far too close to home for the girl. Well, at least now she had received at least some punishment for her actions. Once, she had thought Loan to be that punishment… but she'd been wrong. Loan was the greatest gift she had ever been given.
And now she was gone.
Lori set her now-empty teacup on the coffee table and laid down on the sofa. The tea had done nothing to ease her mind, not that she really expected it to; she'd just needed something to do besides lay around in her bed, hoping for sleep that she knew fully well would never come.

Loan.
Loan stirred in her sleep.
Wake up, Loan.
She scrunched her face up further, burying her face into her pillow in annoyance.
I said WAKE. UP.
Loan sighed and rolled onto her back. She had just fallen asleep, too. "Go away." She mumbled.
Get out of bed.
Loan rolled her eyes and turned back onto her side. There was no use trying to reason with it… there was nothing to reason with in the first place. She shut her eyes and focused, reminding herself that there was nothing actually speaking to her. It was just her mind acting up again.
I SAID GET OUT OF BED.
Suddenly, Loan found herself pulled into a seated position against her will. As much as she tried to resist, it was all in vain… her body was moving on its own. She tried to speak, but she couldn't; it felt as though there was something constricting her throat. All she could do was gasp and wheeze as her body dragged itself out of bed.
Good girl. Now go out to the hallway.
Loan couldn't fight back. She didn't have any control over her limbs at all, and she could feel her heart racing as the panic began to set in. Nothing like this had ever happened before… it was like her body was a puppet, and she could do nothing but watch in horror as her legs moved on their own, leading her to the door. Her hand reached out and gripped the doorknob, pulling it open.
Walk forward.
Somehow, Loan managed to force herself to stop, if merely for a moment; directly in front of her sat the banister overlooking the first floor. There was nowhere else to go.
Walk. Forward.
Loan's eyes went wide with horror as her body began lurching its way towards the banister. No, she thought. No, no, no! She tried again to cry out for help, but nothing escaped her throat but air. Bobby was so close. Her father was so close. And yet all she could do was watch as she drew ever closer to her fate.
Climb over.
Her hands gripped the banister and she hoisted one leg over, then the other. Soon she was standing on her heels on the other side, her feet dangling off the edge; the only thing stopping her from falling was her firm grasp on the banister. She could feel her lungs burning with rapid breaths as she stared down at the first floor. Somehow, it seemed like an even longer drop than it should be… more than enough to end her life in an instant.
Let go.
Loan clenched her teeth and managed to clamp down even tighter onto the banister behind her.
LET GO.
The terrified girl still had the fortitude to resist, and resist she did. Even if it took every ounce of strength in her body, she would not let go.
And then, the pressure around her neck tightened.
Loan choked and gagged as her throat seemed to collapse in on itself. She remembered this feeling… like tendrils wrapped tightly around her, suffocating her. On pure reflex she let go of the banister to grasp at her throat, falling forward and jerking to a stop as the pressure pulled tightly against her neck. Her body was leaning forward at a forty-five degree angle, and the tendrils choking her were ironically the only thing stopping her from falling.
Then, she heard it: something that made her blood run cold in an instant. A deep, masculine chuckle… not something within her mind, but right beside her ear. It was a familiar voice… one Loan knew all too well.
"Don't scream."
The tendrils released Loan and she fell forward, the ground below rapidly rushing to meet her.

Loan shrieked in fear as she awoke, bolting upright to a seated position. Her heart was pounding rapidly, her chest heaving with unsteady breaths; she swallowed, taking a moment to get her bearings before glancing around. She was in her bedroom… it had all been a dream.
"Loan!" Lincoln cried as he threw open the door, rushing to his daughter's side. "What's wrong?!"
"D-dad…"
"Are you okay? I heard you scream." Lincoln asked in a gentle yet clearly worried tone. Loan stared at him in silence for a moment before looking away, chewing her lip apprehensively; then, she gave a small nod.
"Y-yes… I'm alright," The girl said. "Just had a bad dream…" Her father breathed a sigh of relief.
"Thank God… I thought you'd been hurt." He said quietly. Loan frowned and looked at him again.
"…I'm sorry." Loan muttered. "I, uh, have nightmares sometimes, a-and I kind of… scream. I should have told you-"
"No, no… it's fine." Lincoln assured her, gently squeezing his daughter's shoulder and giving her a warm smile. "I'm just glad you're okay. Does this… happen often?" Loan sighed.
"Only sometimes," Loan explained. "I don't usually dream… I think my medication has something to do with it. But… sometimes." Lincoln nodded in understanding.
"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked. "Do you want to talk about it…?" She still looked shaken, and he could feel her shoulders trembling slightly; nonetheless, she gave him a reassuring smile.
"I'll be fine. Th-thank you." She said. Lincoln was far from convinced, but he gave a small nod anyway.
"…Alright." He said as he pulled away and stood upright. "Just… let me know if you need anything, okay?"
"Okay. Thanks, dad." The two exchanged another smile before Lincoln walked out, shutting the door behind him. Loan waited until she was sure her father was out of earshot… and then, her lip began to tremble as her eyes grew damp. She clamped a hand over her mouth to stifle a sob; even though her memory of the nightmare had already begun to fade, her fear had not. She could still remember being unable to speak, her body moving on its own…
…That voice. That horrible, cold voice.
Loan sniffed and rubbed at her eyes. Part of her wanted to go tell her father about it, but the truth of the matter was that she had never told anyone about the exact nature of her intrusive thoughts, not even Dr. Patel. She may not literally hear voices, but as far as she was concerned this was barely any better than that. Surely, she'd be sent away to the madhouse if they knew the truth.
The mere thought of that happening terrified Loan more than anything else.
Loan wiped away the last of her tears and took a deep breath to steady her nerves. It wasn't real. She just had to remind herself of that: none of it was real. Not the dream, not the voice in her head, none of it. And with each passing minute, the dream faded more and more from her mind.
The troubled girl glanced at the clock; it was 6:21 AM, not that Loan had planned to go back to sleep anyway. She turned to sit on the side of the bed and one by one took her medications, once again in alphabetical order and once again being sure to arrange them neatly, labels outward. With that done, Loan slowly got out of bed and stretched, her shoulders popping audibly. She knew that her meds would kick in within an hour, and then she'd feel a lot better. But for now, she needed to use the restroom.
She shuffled her way down the hall towards the bathroom. The morning light was beginning to filter in through the windows, bathing the interior in a pale blue glow. Loan still wasn't used to being up at such an early hour, but she supposed this sort of thing was normal… and she wanted to at least try to be normal. She stifled a yawn before reaching for the doorknob, only to let out a small yelp and draw her hand back as she felt a jolt of static electricity. Loan groaned; of course she'd get a shock. She'd been shuffling her socks against the carpet after all. With that, she gripped the doorknob and opened the door.
"Oh!" Loan gasped, as she saw none other than Bobby standing at the sink and brushing his teeth… fully clothed, thankfully. His eyes widened slightly as he noticed his flustered sister standing in the doorway.
"…G'mornin'." Bobby mumbled through a mouthful of toothpaste before spitting it into the sink.
"U-um… hey…" Loan stammered sheepishly. She may not have actually seen anything, but still… she very well could have. "S-sorry, I should have-"
"Knocked. I know." Bobby sighed. "It's okay. I'm not used to having to lock the door, so… you know. I don't blame you." He gave his sister a brief half-smile, which she returned in kind.
"I… guess we both have a lot to get used to, huh?" Loan said with a small laugh. Bobby nodded.
"…Yeah." Bobby muttered, picking up the dental floss. "Anyway, I'm almost done, so…"
"Oh, um, no need to rush. T-take your time…" Loan assured him. She was impressed by how diligent he was; when she was his age she never flossed, despite being consistently told to do so. Of course, that fact plus her diet of junk food had resulted in several cavities that needed to be filled… no simple task for the neurotic girl.
His hair was wet too, and even more of a mess than usual… Loan could only assume that he'd just taken a shower. He was already dressed for the day, clad in his red hoodie and brown cargo shorts as usual. Strangely though, he seemed taller somehow. A quick glance down revealed why: he was standing on a little stepstool to reach the sink.
…He was standing on a little stepstool to reach the sink.
Loan had to bite her lip to suppress a squeal. She'd always had a weakness for cute things, but somehow this little guy was on a whole other level. Did he even know how adorable he was? Perhaps it was just the fact that he was herbrother that made her so susceptible to his charm. Either way, she really wanted to give him a hug, but that'd be weird… their newfound kinship aside, she still barely knew the boy.
"Okay. I'm done." Bobby said, snapping Loan out of her thoughts. He dropped his floss into the nearby wastebasket before hopping off his stepstool and folding it up, setting it underneath the sink. "You can-" He began, only to trail off as he took a closer look at his big sister. He tilted his head slightly, focusing his gaze on her face.
"Umm…" Loan couldn't help but avert her eyes for a moment before glancing back at him. "A-are you alright…?" Up till now, her brother had largely avoided prolonged eye contact… not that she could blame him. She tended to do the same, after all.
"…Are you?" He asked.
"Why do you ask?"
"Your eyes." Bobby muttered, pointing at them. "…They're red. Were you crying…?" Loan frowned and tensed up slightly.
"…No, I'm fine." Loan lied. "I just, uh… I rubbed them a bit too hard when I woke up." She gave her brother a forced smile that did little to convince him; nonetheless, he nodded.
"…Okay. I'll… see you later, then." Bobby muttered before heading past his sister and towards his bedroom. Loan felt bad. She didn't want to lie to the boy, but he was still just a kid… the last thing she wanted to do was upset him. With a small sigh, Loan shut the door behind her.
"Bobby! Can you come here a second?" Lincoln called out from his studio right as Bobby was reaching for his doorknob. Bobby groaned and hung his head; he was in for it now. Surely, his father had heard about yesterday's argument with the teacher somehow.
"…Coming…" Bobby mumbled and made his way down the hall. It wasn't like he had much choice… he just had to go face the music. He pushed open the door to find his father sitting in his chair with a benign smile on his face.
"Hey, buddy." Lincoln greeted his son before gesturing to a nearby chair. "Here, take a seat. Oh, and lock the door, okay?"
"…Okay." Bobby reluctantly did as he was told, clicking the lock shut and sitting down.
"Thank you." His father said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. "So… listen-"
"I-I'm sorry."
Lincoln blinked. "Um… what?"
"Th-this is about the homework thing, right…?" Bobby stammered, wringing his hands in his lap. "I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to get so worked up, I-"
"Whoa, hold up… what homework thing?" Lincoln asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion. His son swallowed and averted his eyes.
"Er… n-nothiiiing." Bobby tried his best to sound innocent; his father simply narrowed his eyes at him. Lincoln wasn't buying it for a second, but he hadn't gotten any calls from the school so he figured he should drop it for the time being. Besides, there were more pressing matters at hand.
"Okay… anyway. I needed to talk to you about something." Lincoln muttered. "So… you remember how I said Loan's a bit mixed up, right?" Bobby nodded.
"…You said she's been through a lot." He said.
"She has. So she gets a bit…" Lincoln paused, searching for the right words. "…Worked up from time to time." Bobby frowned.
"Worked up how…?"
"Well…" Lincoln sighed and scratched the back of his head. "Loan gets these… panic attacks. Do you know what those are?"
"I guess… it means she panics, right?" Bobby had never heard that exact term, but he certainly knew what panicking was at least.
"Well… yes. I guess that is pretty self-explanatory, huh…" Lincoln chuckled before growing serious once more. "Anyway… sometimes, these can get pretty bad."
"How bad?"
"Really bad." Lincoln emphasized. "It doesn't happen very often… hopefully, you'll never have to see it at all. But if you do, I don't want you to be scared. Just… if it looks like she's panicking, come get me. Or your mom, if I'm not around."
"But what if neither of you are around…?" Bobby asked. Lincoln's mouth hung open for a moment; he hadn't considered that. He and his wife did go on dates, after all. As of late they'd felt comfortable enough leaving him on his own… aside from saving money on a sitter, they knew Bobby could take care of himself. He was a smart boy, he knew not to open the door for strangers, and he'd been thoroughly instructed on what to do in case of an emergency. But Loan was a different matter. On one hand, they now had an adult around to care for him in their absence.
On the other hand… this would also leave Loan in Bobby's care.
"…Call us." Lincoln said. "And stay with her until we get there. Just… just try to comfort her. Tell her that everything is going to be okay, that she's not dying-"
"Dying?!" Bobby gasped. Dammit.
"N-no, it's, um…" Lincoln stammered. "Panic attacks can make you feel like you're dying, and…" Lincoln trailed off; his son looked absolutely horrified by this piece of information. Still, it was important that he understood this. Lincoln sighed before continuing. "Bobby, look… I know it sounds bad, and that's because it is. That's why she needs you, at least until we can get to her. Do you understand?" Bobby's brow scrunched up in concern. He didn't like the sound of any of this… comforting people was something far outside his realm of understanding. Nonetheless, he nodded, earning him a gentle smile from his father. "Good." Lincoln said. "Also, she's a bit… different, in a lot of ways. You may notice her doing odd things from time to time, but try not to think much of it. She's-"
"Loan's not crazy, is she…?" Bobby asked. Lincoln shook his head.
"No… no, she's not. She's just… got a lot going on with her." Lincoln explained in the simplest terms he could manage. "She's had a really hard life, and I want to turn that all around for her."
"Is that why she was crying?"
"Crying…?" Lincoln leaned forward a bit more, a worried look crossing his face. "Bobby, was she crying?"
"I… think so." Bobby muttered. "Her eyes were red. She said is was nothing, but… I dunno. I think it was something." Lincoln took a deep breath and massaged his temples; he instantly regretted not staying with her longer when she'd woken up.
"…Loan had a bad dream. She'll, ah… she'll be okay, though." Lincoln assured his son. Bobby wasn't sure just what kind of nightmare could be bad enough to make an adult cry, and quite frankly he hoped he'd never find out. Bobby averted his eyes for a moment, chewing his lip apprehensively.
"Dad… what happened to her…?"
"I… can't say." Lincoln said quietly. "You're too young, and even if you weren't it wouldn't be my place to talk about it." Bobby was far from satisfied by that answer, but he could tell that his father wouldn't budge on the issue.
"…Okay." Bobby said. "I understand, I think. Um… anything else…?"
"Nah, I think that's everything." Lincoln said, a small smirk crossing his face. "You're a capable kid, Bobby. I'm sure you can handle this." Bobby couldn't help but smile himself at his father's compliment. "Go on, now. Your mom's probably getting started on breakfast. I bet she could use her favorite little helper."
"…'Kay." With that, Bobby got up and left the room. Once he was gone, the smile faded from Lincoln's face as he turned back to his work. It was already Wednesday and he was still far from finished. His talk with Bobby hadn't taken long, but he was still far from finished… and every second spent not drawing was a second he wasn't making progress. The prior day's appointment with Dr. Patel had eaten up a lot of his time, and-
...Wait.
It suddenly dawned on Lincoln that he hadn't followed up with Lori after the appointment… as much as he wanted to put that aside for now and get back to work, he figured it was a fairly important matter. With a frustrated groan, he picked up his phone and searched through his contacts until he found Lori, then selected it. It rang for quite some time, and for a moment Lincoln thought she wasn't going to answer… but then, he heard a click followed by a groggy voice.
'…Hello.'
"Er… hey, Lori…" Lincoln said sheepishly. "S-sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."
'…You didn't.' Lori grumbled.
"Are, uh… are you okay…?"
'I will be once this fucking coffee's ready.' She said. 'How's everything been going?'
"Good. We had our meeting with Dr. Patel yesterday… it went well." Lincoln explained. "Um… she said you'll be handling costs, so… thank you for that. I mean it."
'Least I could do,' Lori muttered. 'Loan's well?'
"Yeah…" Lincoln said quietly. "Um… she had a bad nightmare. She seemed pretty shaken when she woke up, but besides that…" He trailed off as he heard Lori take a breath.
'That… happens. It's been a while since the last one, but it happens.' Lori said. 'Were you there for her?'
"Of course I was." Lincoln said. "She said she was fine, but Bobby thinks-"
'BOB-' Lori began before cutting herself short. 'O-oh… right. Sorry. Continue.'
"Right…" Lincoln cleared his throat. "Well, he thinks she was crying." He heard a soft groan through the phone.
'Loan can be… stubborn, sometimes.' Lori explained. 'She tends to hide how she's really feeling because she doesn't want to worry anyone. Don't be afraid to push her a bit… it's best she gets these things off her chest.'
"Right… got it." Lincoln said.
'Anything else?' His sister asked.
"No… no, that's it." Lincoln muttered. "Just wanted to keep you posted."
'I see… thank you.' Lori said. 'And, um, listen… I think it's best if I keep my distance for a bit. Until I'm closer to leaving, at least. Between you and Loan, I… I just feel that's the best thing I can do right now.' Lincoln frowned.
"Are you sure…?"
'…Yes.'. Lori said with some hesitation. 'I'll still be available of course, should there be an emergency or anything like that… but beyond that, I think I should give you space for now. BOTH of you.' He had to admit, she wasn't really wrong.
"…I understand." Lincoln said quietly.
'Thank you.' Lincoln could hear the stress in his big sister's voice. 'I'll… talk to you later, then.'
"Alright. Take care of yourself, Lori." He replied. Lori let out a low chuckle.
'I always have.' She said before ending the call.

As Bobby neared the stairs, Loan stepped out from the bathroom.
"Oh… hello again, Bobby." She greeted her brother with a warm smile.
"…Hey." Bobby replied with a small nod. He took a moment to look over the woman standing before him. She didn't look crazy… disheveled, definitely. Tired, certainly; maybe even a bit weird. But not crazy; she didn't seem crazy when he spoke to her either. A bit awkward and unusually anxious for a woman her age, but that was something he could relate to.
In any case, he was at least pretty sure he liked her.
"Bobby…?" Loan tilted her head slightly. "Is everything alright?" She asked.
"…You are." Bobby muttered.
"I am what…?"
"It's nothing…" Her little brother said with a shake of his head. "Um, mom's making breakfast, so… y'know. Probably won't take long."
"Oh… okay. Th-thank you." For a moment, neither said anything further; Loan seemed to be slightly antsy.
"I'll see you downstairs, I guess…"
"W-wait…!" Loan blurted out. Bobby turned back to his sister with a look of confusion on his face.
"…Yeah…?"
"Um, well… I…" Loan fidgeted awkwardly, tapping her fingers together. This was weird. She knew this was weird. But she couldn't handle it anymore… he was just too cute. "C-can I… t-touch you hair…? Like… just for a second…?" She asked apprehensively. Bobby raised an eyebrow. He was used to having his head patted… for reasons he didn't understand, pretty much all of his relatives on both ends of the family found it necessary to do so every time they saw him. Well, save for one, of course. Still, asking to do so was new one.
"Um… I guess…?" He muttered. Loan's face lit up in a way that Bobby had never seen before, as though she were too excited for words. Slowly, she reached out with a trembling hand and gently placed it on his head. She gave his hair a light ruffle, marveling at just how soft it was before reluctantly withdrawing her hand.
"Th-thank you." She squeaked.
"Um… y-you're welcome." Bobby stammered with a reddened face before heading down the stairs. That had been very unusual, but he was glad it'd made her so happy at least.
Just as he was about to enter the kitchen, he heard an ecstatic high-pitched squeal from upstairs. Yep… she was a weird one, all right. But Bobby smirked nonetheless; after all, he was kind of weird himself.

Breakfast was once again delicious, as expected. Ronnie had made french toast this time… it was one of the few things Lori had known how to make, but this was on a whole other level. While Lori's were tough, flat, and bland, Ronnie's were light, fluffy, and sweet even without syrup. To Loan, whose diet consisted almost entirely of junk food and takeout, it was almost mind-blowing.
"So, Bobby... I hear you two have been getting along well." Ronnie said. Bobby swallowed a mouthful of french toast before responding.
"...Yeah. We have, I guess."
"That's right." Loan said with a smile. "He's my best friend."
"I thought I was your only friend…?"
"Well… that would make you my best one too, wouldn't it?" She answered. Bobby thought about this for a moment before giving a small nod.
"…Makes sense."
Ronnie smirked as she watched the two talk. It was unusual to see Bobby warm up to someone so quickly… save for Leni, though that was hardly surprising. They continued to talk throughout their meal too. Well, mumble in Bobby's case, but quite frankly that was the best one could expect from him. Despite his broad vocabulary, he was a boy of few words.
"Alright, I'd better get back to work." Lincoln said once they had all finished. "Thanks for the delicious breakfast, Ronnie." He added, kissing his wife on the cheek.
"Yes, I know." Ronnie said boastfully. "Go on, now. Provide for your family."
"Love you too, honey." Lincoln chuckled before heading back upstairs.
"Bobby, go get ready for school, okay?" Ronnie told her son. Bobby nodded and slid out of his seat.
"…Seeya later." He said, giving a small wave to his sister.
"You too." Loan replied, giving a wave of her own before Bobby left.
"Alright… time to wash up, then." Ronnie sighed, getting to her feet. Loan frowned as she glanced back down at the table; four sets of syrup-coated plates and utensils.
"Um… can I help…?" Loan offered. Her stepmother seemed a bit surprised by this… not that Loan could blame her. She'd only been leeching off them this whole time, providing nothing in return for their kindness. Still, Ronnie smirked.
"Sure, that'd be great." She said. "Thanks, Loan." The two divided their efforts into stacking up two sets each and carrying them into the kitchen, though Loan's hands trembled all the while in fear she may drop a glass. She was no less nervous when she placed them into the sink, setting them down as gently as possible. "Relax, girl." Ronnie snickered, patting the girl on the back hard enough to make her yelp in surprise. "It ain't heart surgery."
"S-sorry…" Loan said with a nervous laugh. "…It's been a few years since I've done this. I-I don't eat much that doesn't come out of a bag or a takeout box, so you know…"
"Don't worry about it. It's easy." Ronnie said as she turned on the sink and started cleaning. "Thanks again, though. I've got a lot to get done before I have to go to work."
"Oh…" Loan muttered, rolling up her sleeves and joining by the older woman's side. It hadn't dawned on her that, with Lincoln struggling to get back on schedule, all of the house's chores would fall into Ronnie's hands. "You know… I… wanted to learn to do a few things too. To help out, I mean."
"Yeah? That's funny… most kids would try to get out of doing chores." Ronnie said, before groaning under her breath. Great, she thought. I'm calling a twenty-one-year-old KID now. Lord, I'm getting old…
"W-well, I figured since you're letting me stay here… I should try to help out however I can, right?" Loan said sheepishly. Ronnie smirked.
"I'm not complaining. Tell you what… I've gotta do the laundry after this. I'll show you how, if you want." Ronnie offered. A small grin spread across her stepdaughter's face, and she nodded.
"Y-yes, that'd be great."
"Alright, back to the grind…" Lincoln grumbled as he stepped into his studio, taking a moment to stretch before sitting down. And yet once again, just as his stylus was about to touch the screen, his phone rang out with the DING of a received message. Lincoln shut his eyes, taking a deep breath through his nose. He exhaled before picking up his phone to find that he'd received a text from Lori.

) There's one more thing you deserve to know

Lincoln's brow furrowed. He quickly typed out his response.

What? (

Lori seemed to be taking some time to respond; just as he was about to text her again, he received two messages from her in succession.

) About Luna
) She knew.
- 4
- 5
- 6
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What She'd Been Missing