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My Big Fat Gargoyle Wedding	By : MelissaMaxwell Category: +G through L > Gargoyles Views: 7467 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gargoyles. Gargoyles belongs to Greg Weisman and Disney. I make no money from this story.

Chapter List
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"That was a great dinner, Mom." Elisa said as she rinsed dishes in the sink.
"Thank you, dear." said Diane, pouring coffee into an ornamental pot.
"I'll handle the dishes." said Peter, taking over at the sink. "You gals go have a coffe klatch in the living room."
"You still like Chips Ahoy, Elisa?" asked Diane.
"Mom, I don't think I'll ever be too old for Chips Ahoy!" Elisa laughed, taking coffee mugs out of the cupboard.
Diane poured two cups of coffee as she and her daughter sat in the living room. "I do wish Derek and Maggie would come over for dinner more often." she was saying. "They can bring Lili with them if they can't find a sitter in the Labyrinth. Well, I suppose they're busy." She added cream to her coffee. "I do expect Beth to be here for dinner next week. She said she's attending a wedding hosted by your...special friends."
"Gargoyles, Mom." said Elisa, dunking a cookie. "I think you can say it in the privacy of your own home." She nibbled her cookie. "They're having a family reunion of sorts tonight."
"So, gargoyles get married like humans do?"
"Well, they have commitment ceremonies." Elisa decided her coffee needed sugar. "But, a lot of them like human customs and adopt them. I understand Japanese gargoyles incorporate the San San Kudo ritual into their ceremonies."
"San San Kudo?"
"It's a lot of bowing and drinking saké." Elisa explained. "Angela's been trying to pick out the perfect white dress to wear and, as her maid of honor, I've been helping her."
"Ah yes, that Angela's a nice girl." said Diane. "Seemed so, anyway."
"Seemed so?"
"Elisa, your father and I got an invitation to your friend's wedding." She picked up an opened envelope lying on the end table and took out the fancy calligraphy paper. "Miss Angela and Mr. Broadway and Mr. Lexington and Mr. Staghart cordially invite you and a guest to their wedding." she read. "Elisa, you didn't tell me gargoyles practiced polygamy!"
"Actually, Mom, multiple husbands is polyandry, not polygamy."
"That's not the point and you know it."
"Oh, Don't get the wrong idea, Mom. Angela's only marrying Broadway."
"Well, good." Diane took a swallow of her coffee.
"The other two are marrying each other." Diane made a choking sound as she spit out her coffee. "Are you alright, Mom?"
Diane wiped her mouth with a napkin. "Fine, fine." she gasped. She took a deep breath. "I believe I've met Lexington and Staghart." said Diane. "They...um...they both seemed male to me. Of course, it's hard to tell really with gargoyles."
"Mom, they seemed male because they are male. The Mr. in the invitation was not a typo."
"But...but...." Diane gasped and sighed. "I thought they were just good friends! I mean, last time I was there I saw Lex arc welding...something. And that nice English deer helped me fix my car stereo."
"What do you expect, Mom? Mincing about in bondage wear with sequins and feathers?" She remembered something. "OK, the feathers are justified in Staghart's case and the hooves do cause him to take short steps." She wisely decided not to bring up the sequined get-up he wore last Mardi Gras.
Diane shook her head. "Well, it's just...I never knew. No one told me."
"Angela never felt a need to tell you she was straight." Elisa pointed out. "Neither did the others. Lex and Staghart are just...themselves. They don't fall into stereotypes. They're not exactly camp and they don't wear bondage wear." Elisa brought the cup to her lips and added "Not all the time anyway." under her breath.
"Elisa!"
"Trust me, Mom. You don't want the details. Let's just say it involved some jingle bells, half a sailor's uniform and some fuzzy dice and leave it at that."
"Yes, let's leave it at that." sighed Diane. "I do not want to hear about such perversions."
"Mom, straight people can get kinky too." Elisa reminded her. "There was that one time I walked in on Angela and Broadway having fun with chocolate syrup and bananas."
"Oh, I don't wanna hear about that."
"And then there was last week when we busted that drug dealer and caught him doing something with a sheep."
"Elisa!"
"But, hey, at least it was a female sheep!"
"Elisa, I just don't think this is a good idea." sighed Diane. "I mean, two males? It's unnatural!"
"What's so unnatural about it, Mother?"
"It's...well...a man and a woman are supposed to be together. This is just wrong."
"May I remind you, Mom, that not too long ago people said marrying outside one's race was wrong. You defied them by marrying Dad. For Heaven's sake, you marched on Washington in the name of civil rights!"
"That was different, Elisa. People were being ill treated due solely on their skin color."
"Is judging someone based on gender preference any better?"
"The Bible says it's wrong, Elisa."
"The Bible also says the étouffée we had for dinner is wrong." said Elisa. "As is the poly-cotton blouse you're wearing. Add to the fact that gargoyles generally don't follow the Christian faith. They have their own beliefs systems."
"Well, the fact of the matter is they can't produce children."
"Mom, neither can me and Goliath."
"Oh, Elisa, I'm sorry, I forgot...."
"It's alright. We've talked about it. Children aren't something I'm ready for right now anyway. Maybe someday, if I get promoted to a desk job I'll look into adoption. That's how Chavez got her daughter. I could probably get some advice from her. As for Lex and Staghart, they met a pair of lesbian gargoyles in Ishimura. They made a sperm for surrogacy deal, so both couples will have eggs to contribute to their respective clans."
"I don't understand surrogacy either." Diane said with a head shake. "How can a woman give up her own child?"
"Mom, you know how gargoyles raise hatchlings." Elisa reminded her. "They belong to the whole clan. This is just, a gift exchange. It will be a good ten years before they can actually go through with it."
Diane sighed. "I still can't believe it. Lexington is a homosexual? Staghart struck me as being a bit fey at times, but I thought that was just him being English!"
Elisa couldn't help chuckling as she reached for another cookie. "And I suppose he can't help mincing with those hooves." She bit into her cookie. "At any rate, we're all hoping you and Dad can attend."
"We're attending." sighed Diane. "That's a little bone I have to pick with your father."
"Someone mention me?" asked Peter, drying his hands on a towel as he walked in.
"Peter," said Diane as she poured him a cup of coffee. "I was just telling Elisa how you RSVPed the invitation the gargoyles sent us. Without asking me." She barely masked her hurt expression by taking a sip of coffee.
"Diane," Peter took a seat. "You told me you wanted to do something different this year for The Fourth besides the usual barbecue on the terrace."
"I meant steak or ribs instead of hot dogs or hamburgers!"
"I thought you loved weddings." Peter sipped his coffee. "And you know and like the couples involved."
"There was one couple I didn't know was a couple!" said Diane. "Peter, didn't you notice that a homosexual couple is getting married?"
Peter looked at the invitation. "Hmm...must not have noticed the first time. Wonder which one will wear the dress?"
"Dad!" shouted Elisa.
"Peter!" shouted Diane.
"What?" Peter shrugged. "Among the Hopi, gays are considered just a third sex. Traditionally, a gay man, 'lhamana' we call them, would wear a combination of both men and women's clothing to symbolize that he was of two spirits. A lhamana is born with both a female spirit and a male spirit. They could do both traditionally masculine and feminine activities, and were usually respected as mediators." He paused to pick up a cookie. "In fact, there was a lhamana member of the Zuni tribe named We'wha who managed to gain an audience with President Cleveland." He picked up another cookie. "How's it seen in African tribes?"
"Most tribes saw it as just childish dalliance." said Diane. "Something to grow out of when it was time to concentrate on marriage and raising a family. And then there were the Hausa people of Nigeria who engaged in male prostitution." Diane was silent a moment. "I suppose gargoyles don't have AIDS to worry about." she said.
"Well," said Elisa. "Considering that all illnesses and injuries heal during stone sleep, I'd say no. Theoretically, the only way they could spread it is by having multiple partners in one night. Considering how fond gargoyles are of monogamy...." She sipped her coffee. "Listen, Mom, Lex and Staghart love each other very much and have just as much a right to be together as Broadway and Angela or anyone else."
"I'll attend the wedding, Elisa." said Diane. "Who knows? Maybe this old dog can learn some new tricks after all."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Get out!" Staghart was saying to Angela. "All the traveling you've done and you never tried chocolate until you got to America?"
"I was a little busy." she said. "There wasn't much time to sample local cuisine."
"All the places in Europe you were in and you didn't try the chocolate!" Staghart shook his head at the tragedy. "American chocolate is waxy and they use that powdered two percent cack instead of proper milk. After the wedding, we need to take you to Switzerland or Belgium or somewhere that knows how to make chocolate. Even English chocolate is better than American and people make jokes about how terrible English food is." Staghart smiled. "Of course, you'll probably end up smuggling chocolate out of the country drug mule style."
"Oh, don't be silly!" she laughed. "But, I am glad there's chocolate on Avalon now. Jadé and Turquesa showed them how to make it with cacao beans." She took another bite of her apple pie. "I should probably go easy on this. Need to be able to fit in my dress."
"Same here." said Staghart, taking a bite of his shrimp. "Well, it's not a dress of course." They both chuckled. "You ever see /Labyrinth/, Angela?"
"The Jim Henson movie with David Bowie?" she replied.
"And David Bowie's crotch." They both laughed. "Well, when I was about 33 I dressed up as Jareth for Halloween. You know the ballroom scene, right after Sarah eats the psychedelic peach?"
"Oh, the one with the song 'As The World Falls Down'." said Angela.
"That's the one." Staghart said, pointing with his chopsticks. "Ayala and I made a costume based on what Jareth wears in that scene. Oh, I won't wear the wig and make-up this go around, of course." They laughed. "Ayala said she might have to make a few adjustments. I may have put on a few pounds since then...all muscle, mind you!" He smiled wistfully. "If it's OK by you, Angela, I'd like to have "As The World Falls Down" played at some part during the reception. That line 'I'll place the sky within your eyes' reminds me so much of Lex. His eyes are so dark and...starry."
"I like that song too." said Angela. "We'll add it to the list."
"I know Ayala will want me to dance with her to 'Forever Young' at least once." He added more soy sauce to his take-out shrimp. "How 'bout you and Goliath? Picked out a song for the Daddy/Daughter dance?"
Angela looked sadly at the crumbs and puddle of vanilla ice cream on her plate. "I really don't want to." She got up to rinse off the plate.
"What? I thought you liked Goliath."
"I do. I love him. He's my father." She sighed heavily and opened the dishwasher. "But...Staghart? Has Lex told you about my mother?"
Staghart nodded. "He told me about Demona's attempts at destroying humanity. He never said that she was your mother, just that she was Goliath's former mate and I put two and two together. Not mistaken, am I?"
"Would that you were." Angela closed the washer. "In spite of what she's done, I know she's not completely bad. I pity her sometimes. I know she's a part of me. I want to love her, but...." She threw up her hands and sighed. "I feel like a walking Shakespearian tragedy sometimes." She crossed her arms and bowed her head.
Staghart put the take-out box in the refrigerator and stood beside Angela, hands on her shoulders. "You can't let things like this get you down." He hugged her. She hugged back. "Well, what do you know? Our arms didn't fall off after all!" They laughed and went back to the party. "How do you feel about oldies, Angela?" Staghart asked. "Bobby Helms did a song called 'My Special Angel' that you and Goliath could dance to. Or maybe 'Goodnight My Angel' by Billy Joel."
"Sensing a theme here!" laughed Angela.
They soon came upon a group consisting of Ayala, Hudson, Goliath, Katherine, Tom, Broadway and Lexington. Broadway was eating a slice of pizza. Tom was critically examining his. Ayala was talking. "So then Staghart said Coco 'No, you can't touch it! You broke yours!'" Her small audience laughed as Staghart's ears flushed a deeper pink.
"Not talking about crayons, is she?" joked Angela.
"Ayala!" Staghart forced a smile and put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sure they don't want to hear any boring stories about me as a hatchling."
"Oh, we're not bored." Lex said with a big smile.
Hudson gave a hearty chuckle. "Ach, that reminds me of the days when Lex used to run about in his hatchin' clothes."
"Uh...Hudson..." Lex said, blushing a bit. He was ignored.
"Then my mate decided one day he was gettin' too old for that nonsense," Hudson continued. "And pierced his wings for him. The wee lad cried and cried...."
"Hudson!" Lex's face was bright red.
"Aw, did the poor baby cry?" teased Broadway.
"Ah, My Bluebell had a way with hatchlings." Hudson said fondly. "There was that time she took wee Broadway out to the woods to forage for mushrooms."
"Uh, they don't wanna hear about that." It was Broadway's turn to blush.
"Well, they came 'pon what the humans liked to call a fairy ring." Hudson continued. "And 'for she could stop him, the wee one plucked up a mushroom and stuffed it in his mouth! She of course made him spit it out, but not before he swallowed a good bit of it."
"Well, obviously it wasn't poisonous." said Angela.
"It was nae enough to kill him, aye." Hudson said with a smile. "But he spent the rest o' the night in the privy with the runs!"
"Why'd you have to tell them that?" groaned Broadway, hiding his face in his hands.
Angela chuckled. "Oh, Broadway!" she laughed. "You should know better!"
Katherine was laughing too. "Oh, Tom, remember when Angela glided for the first time?"
Now Angela was blushing. "We don't need to hear this." she said.
"Oh, I think we do." said Broadway.
"Well," said Katherine. "she spread her wings, jumped off the wall yelling 'Here I go!'."
"Yeah, cute story, Katherine." Angela said, hoping to cut her off.
"Then she went into a spin and her skirt flew up!" Katherine laughed. "After that, I saw to it that all my girls wore panties under their dresses."
"That's funny." said Broadway. "Angela hardly ever wea-" Angela cut him off by stuffing a pizza slice in his mouth.
"Had she been raised by the clan," said Goliath. "She would've been fitted with a loincloth that would sufficiently cover her."
Hudson smiled. "I ever tell you lads about the first time Goliath went for a glide?"
"They don't to need to know." said Goliath, blushing.
"'Twas all well." said Hudson. "Until the wee lad smacked into a tree and fell on his back! We were all relieved to hear him crying as loud as he was. Meant he were nae hurt so bad, save for a good sized lump on his head."
"Aw," crooned Lex. "Did widdow Gowiaf fall down and go boom?"
"Diddums get a boo-boo on his noggin?" teased Broadway.
"I...I was alright." said Goliath. "I got right back on the wall and tried again."
"That he did." said Hudson. "But, first, one of my brothers picked him up and said 'Did you fall on your back, wee one? Well, when you grow up, you'll make someone else fall back, won't you?' And the wee lad wiped his eyes and nodded!"
"Hudson, please!" Goliath's face was an interesting shade of fuchsia.
Staghart was laughing. "So, how many have you made fall back since then, Goliath?" he asked.
"Oh! Patience! Patience!" Ayala called out.
"I'm trying." said Goliath. "But putting up with Hudson's stories isn't easy."
"Oh, not you!" said Ayala as a female gargoyle bearing resemblance to a llama joined them. "This is my rookery sister, Patience."
"Hello." said Patience, giving a little wave with one hand, the other carrying a sizable flowered tote bag.
"Oh, Patience," said Ayala. "We were just talking about when the younger ones were hatchlings. Did you bring those photos of Staghart?"
Staghart folded his hands in prayer. "Please, Buddha, don't let her have them." he muttered. "Please, Buddha, please, Buddha!"
"Indeed I do!" said Patience, taking a small album out of her tote.
"Right! Hinduism it is!" Staghart declared. "With 150 gods, at least one of them has to listen to me! Shiva, Ganeesh, Rapidash, one of 'em."
"Um, Staghart?" said Lex. "I think you have Hinduism confused with Pokemon."
"I don't think gods can answer prayers retroactively, luv." said Patience, opening the album. "Here's little Staghart, only one day old! With his little nappy, his little dummy and the mitties I knitted for him." There was a collective "Aw!" as Staghart tried to hide his face.
"Oh, here he is without the nappy!" Ayala turned the page in the album.
"Oi, what's up?" asked Castor as he and his twin approached, pizza and sodas in hand.
"Let me guess." sighed Staghart. "You smelled humiliation and just had to come closer."
"Oh look!" Pollux pointed at the photo. "Staghart's bare bum!"
"I was trying to change his nappy," Ayala explained. "And he managed to crawl away from me! He was so cute I had to take a picture."
"I notice he still has his 'dummy'." chuckled Lex.
"Oh, my, yes." said Ayala. "He was going through this phase where he was just putting anything and everything in his mouth."
Pollux started giggling. "Some people take longer than others to outgrow that!" he laughed. Lex and Staghart both blushed as they looked at the ground.
"Oh, I also brought that photo of the Twins cuddling in the incubator!" Patience said, turning the page. "They just looked so sweet! You know, they didn't even want the cuddly toys we offered them. They just wanted each other." The Twins both blushed.
Castor reached out and turned a page. "Oh, look! Staghart in dungarees!"
"Don't be embarrassed, Staghart!" said Lex. "You were cute!"
"Do you know what his first word was?" asked Ayala. "It was 'bird'."
"Aw, just like Bambi!" giggled Lex.
"Of course," said Patience. "He was looking at a housefly at the time."
Katherine chuckled. "Angela's first word was 'Princess'."
"I think that was Lunette's first word too." said Staghart. "We were watching Lady Diana and Prince Charles get married on telly."
"Do you remember Lex and Broadway's first words, Hudson?" asked Ayala.
"Hmm...I think Lexington's first word was 'up'. That's what I was told, anyway. But I was there for Broadway's first word. My mate and I were getting him started on solids. She gave him a bit o' a honey cake and said 'Yum-Yum'. And the wee fellow took a big bite and said 'Yum-Yum!'"
"Some things never change." laughed Lexington.
"Oh!" said Patience. "Lapina wanted me to share something." Patience took a VHS tape out of her tote bag.
"Oh, God, no!" sighed Staghart.
"Oh which one is this?" asked Ayala.
"It's /You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown./" said Patience.
Ayala explained. "Oh, our younger sister Lapina likes to put on plays and musicals. When Staghart was about 28, he got the role of Linus in /You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown./ He was so cute! His antlers were coming in nicely and his voice just changed. And he was just so cute with that little blanket!"
"For the record," said Staghart. "I was just being in character."
"Oh, let's watch it!" said Angela. "I love musicals!"
"The Xanatos's have a theater with a huge movie screen" said Broadway.
"Aye." said Hudson. "And lots of seating so everyone can have a look."
"Uh, but it's a VHS tape!" said Staghart. "I don't think it'll work there."
"I could hook a VCR to the digital projector." said Lex. "No problem."
"Et tu, Lex?" Staghart sighed. "Et tu?"
"C'mon, Stags." said Castor. "Public humiliation is a beloved wedding tradition!"
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My Big Fat Gargoyle Wedding