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My Life as a Teenaged Von Neumann Device	By : Toonspew Category: +M through R > My Life as a Teenage Robot Views: 21219 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own My Life as a Teenage Robot, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter 5
Jenny's forehead made a small clink when she rested it against the door window of her mom's car. It had been such an exhausting night, emotionally. Looking out into the darkened streets as they passed by, Jenny went over the night's events in her mind again. Anything to avoid having to talk to her mom right now.
Everything had started out so great. After some confusion and a few false starts, Jenny and Brad had just become boyfriend and girlfriend, right after she had lost her virginity to him. Not only had she conquered sex, but she became closer to her best friend then they had ever been before. Sex hadn't been quite what she expected, to say the least. The nudity and physical intimacy involved was like no other human activity... if it feels so good, why do people make such a fuss about wearing clothing all the time? Sure it could be fashionable, but ultimately it's just going to get in the way. Jenny noticed dark rainclouds forming overhead, as if providing a counter to her argument for nudism.
Now that the whole event was over and finished, Jenny found her curiosity rising about Brad's “cock”. It had startled her when she first saw it, which she excused as being a natural reaction to such an oddly shaped organ. But now that she was a little more used to it, it struck her as being rather cute, in it's own way. In fact, Jenny decided she would rather like to see it up close again, as soon as she could convince Brad to take her out on another date to the drive-in. Strange that it looked so different from when she had glimpsed Tuck's, back when they first met. Tuck's cock had looked more like a bulbous finger, and had none of the hair surrounding it that Brad's had. Maybe all boys had cocks that were shaped differently? Jenny made a mental note to sneak a peek into the boys locker room to investigate further.
Her thoughts turning to “other boys” made Jenny's heart sink. Despite how wonderful the encounter with Brad had been, it only took 56 seconds for it to all become a disaster. They had been caught naked in bed by none other then Sheldon, Jenny's friend and sometimes stalker. The boy was heartbroken, and had run straight out of the house. Before Jenny could catch him, he had run into traffic and been hit by a truck.
When Jenny got to him, she barely recognized Sheldon. The Truck's bumper had impacted against Sheldon's back, cracking his spine in half and leaving him unnaturally limp. His landing on the pavement hadn't been any kinder, bruising and scraping his face and arms. Jenny's protective instincts kicked into overdrive, and she probably broke the sound barrier getting Sheldon to the hospital. The cost of a new front door for the emergency room would be coming out of her allowance, she expected.
Standing out in the hall outside of Sheldon's operating room, Jenny had never felt so helpless before. She must've checked her internal chronometer every ten seconds. Eventually Brad had arrived in a taxi, and Jenny finally let her resolve drop, weeping openly as he desperately tried to console her. She cried long after her solvent reservoirs had been depleted, but thankfully had regained some of her composure before Ms. Wakeman arrived. Brad had thankfully done the talking, explaining what had happened and strategically sidestepping any mention of what Jenny and Brad had been doing moments before Sheldon arrived. Jenny doubted her mother had failed to notice the fact that she was wearing nothing but Brad's housecoat however.
Jenny shifted in the car seat, suddenly reminded of how chilly it was wearing nothing but a bathrobe. She tugged the edges of the garment tighter around herself, spotting raindrops beginning to spatter against the car windshield. Jenny was terribly worried about Sheldon... when the doctors had finally stabilized him, he was in a very sorry state. Both his kidneys had been turned to paste, and his spleen had to be removed to stop the internal bleeding. On top of that his spinal chord had been severed... if he ever did wake up, he would certainly never walk again. And there was no guarantee he would recover at all... for all Jenny knew, he could die during her trip home.
Ms. Wakeman's car pulled up into the driveway of their house, and Jenny stepped out. The light rain did nothing to improve her mood. Once inside, Jenny waited for her mom to begin her lecture, or punishment, or something. To Jenny's surprise, nothing came. “Go to bed, XJ9. It's late and you're tired, and I've got a lot to do. We'll talk in the morning.”
Wordlessly, Jenny nodded and ascended the staircase to her bedroom.
****************************************
The next morning, Jenny awoke and dressed in her usual outfit. She had been two drained last night to bother putting anything on, so she had tossed Brad's housecoat aside and tried sleeping nude for the first time in her life. Not bad, she reflected. She just might try that again sometime.
Sneaking quietly downstairs, Jenny hoped to leave for school before her mother woke up. She just... didn't want to face her. Not after the trauma of last night, and *especially* not if she was baring the news that Sheldon had died during the night. Maybe she could just go to school first, talk things over with Brad, find some way to cope, then things would be better. No such luck, she realized, when she spotted Ms. Wakeman sitting at the coffee table by the front door, nursing a cup of tea and an english muffin. “XJ9...” Wakeman called out in a strict tone, seeing her daughter appear on the staircase. “Yes mother.” answered Jenny flatly, not waiting for the question to be asked.
Jenny took a seat across the table from her mother, and waited for the bad news to hit. Ms. Wakeman just looked over at her for a few moments, then took a deep breath, seeming to dread this conversation almost as much as Jenny was. “XJ9, we need to talk about some things. I'll start with the good news: Sheldon is still alive, and remaining relatively stable, as of seven A.M. this morning.” Jenny relaxed significantly, feeling like a huge weight was lifted off her chest.
“However, I've been told that he is fighting an uphill battle, and that his body is slowly dying. Sheldon has a matter of days to live, weeks if we're lucky.” Jenny remained still, her gaze dropping down to the floor, trying to keep her emotions in check. “Go on.” Jenny said softly, barely audible. Ms. Wakeman cleared her throat, continuing “Well, the thing is... I may be able to save Sheldon, and return him to health, but,”
Jenny stood straight up out of her chair. “WHAT?! You can fix him right now? Well why haven't you already?” shouted Jenny. Ms. Wakeman grabbed her by the hands and pulled her back down to her chair, speaking more forcefully but still trying to maintain a calm air. “It's not as simple as all that. There were preparations to be made, ethical choices to be weighed. And more importantly I had to talk it over with Sheldon's parents to ensure their consent. And it's not like I'm just going to wave a magic wand and he'll be better; there are risks involved, he may even suffer from brain damage afterwords.”
“Mom, please!” countered Jenny “Sheldon is one of my closest friends, and... and I'm partly responsible for his accident. If he dies, the guilt will just eat me alive! I swear, I'll self-destruct!”
“Calm down, XJ9. Sheldon's parents have made their decision, and so have I. We're going to do what we can to help Sheldon. But that is the other thing I wanted to talk to you about; in light of the fact that you came home wearing Bradly's clothing and your dress is currently adorning his bedroom floor, I have no choice but to give you the talk. I'd like you to bring Bradly over here after school, he should hear this information as well.”
Jenny was confused. “The talk? Talk about what?” asked Jenny. Ms. Wakeman grumbled, putting down her tea cup. “When I built you Jenny, I knew that someday you would discover sex for yourself. I tried to forstall it by removing any relevant sexual education from your database, and yet you still figured it out much earlier then I anticipated.” Jenny still didn't quite see the problem. “So... yay me?” she offered, hoping it was the appropriate response. Her mother frowned, “Jenny it's not something to be proud of! You're still a very young girl, and I'm not certain you're ready for this yet. I still planned to give you at least two more upgrades before a boy even got to second base with you.” Ms. Wakeman sighed with disappointment. “Perhaps I should just forbid you to socialize with boys alltogether. If you can't even be trusted to keep them from having their way with you...”
“Hey, now that's not fair!” Jenny interrupted angrily. “Brad didn't do anything I didn't want him to, he's completely innocent in all this. And besides, I wouldn't have even been curious if you had just trusted me to handle sex ed on my own! Just because you're afraid of my developing sexuality, doesn't mean I should have to pay the price for it.” Jenny realized she had gotten up from her seat during her tirade, so she pointedly sat back down with a “hmph”. Her mother looked shocked, but not angry. She seemed to think things over for a minute, then calmly spoke; “You and Bradly... how far have you 'experimented' together?” Jenny crossed her arms over her chest, embaressed to admit that information to her mother. Seeing no way around the question, she instead tried to lessen her embaressment by using more polite terms. “Brad put his fleshy... boy-part... into my... erm... lubricated entry port. Between my legs. Then he did this really nice in-and-out motion that made me surge electricity.” Jenny grinned sheepishly, knowing that her cheeks were blushing a deep blue. Her mother seemed to take this in stride, keeping calm and asking “And have you done this with any other boys?”. Jenny started, “Oh no, never! I don't want people to call me a 'slut'. Is that why you're so upset? Trust me, Brad told me all about it; we've agreed to go steady, so there is nothing to worry about.” Ms. Wakeman made up her mind. “Ahem... well then, given the circumstances, I'll allow you to continue to see Bradly. But only under the condition that you both come see me after school, I need to educate you on safe sex.” Jenny liked this answer well enough, feeling as though she had just dodged a major bullet. She reclined in her chair, looking across the table at her mother.
Ms. Wakeman returned to drinking her tea, while Jenny sat still in her chair. Pausing from her meal, Wakeman concluded the conversation with “Go! Get to class, you're late as it is.”
*************************************
Brad and Jenny walked up to the front door of Jenny's house. “You're sure I have to be here for this?” asked Brad, for the third time. “That's what she said. Let's just get it over with. Maybe then they'll let us go see Sheldon in the hospital.” Jenny reached out for Brad's hand, giving it an affectionate and reassuring squeeze, before opening the door and stepping inside.
“What the...” breathed Brad, seeing a screen and slide projector set up inside the living room, with chairs set up for the two of them. Ms. Wakeman was waiting for them, a slightly impatient look on her face. “Please, come in and sit down. And close the door behind you, XJ9. You weren't raised in a barn.” Managing an annoyed grunt Jenny complied, then sat down next to Brad. Ms. Wakeman paced back and forth in front of them, deciding how to begin.
Ms. Wakeman collected herself, mentally swallowing her pride. “Ahem. Well, let me begin by saying that, Bradly, I'm pleased that you chose to court my daughter instead of chasing after some random high-school cheerleader floozie. I've always known you were a bright boy, when you concentrated, and your choice just goes to prove that you have an eye for the finer qualities in a woman. And XJ9, I'm proud of you for selecting someone you trusted and got to know first. Far to many young girls put out just for the sake of popularity these days.” Muttering under her breath, she added “Damned sluts.”
Brad and Jenny quickly exchanged a nervous glance. Suddenly, the screen in front of them lit up as the slide projector started up, displaying the first image: a schematic drawing of XJ9, completely naked. Jenny blushed out of reflex. “XJ9 is more then just a Global Robotic Response Unit. In addition to being a superhero, Jenny is also the first functioning Von Neumann device, of a sort.” Brad interrupted her, raising his hand. Sighing, Ms. Wakeman rolled her eyes and answered the question she assumed Brad would ask; “The answer to your question, Bradly, is a machine that can create copies of itself.”
“I can create duplicates of myself?” asked Jenny, incredulously. “Well, not exactly.” answered her mother. “A true Von Neumann device would be able to, yes. You, Jenny, are modified somewhat. You see, prior to designing you I ran many simulations of what might happen if I released a sentient Neumann device into the world. 76% of the simulations ended in the robot deciding to create armies of itself and overrunning the Earth and nearby solar system. So, I decided the humanize the process a bit.”
Clicking to the next slide revealed a pair of robots, one looking somewhat like Jenny and the other being mostly just a rough outline of a male body shape, with the respective gender symbols imprinted over them. “You, XJ9, are only one half of the equation now. In order to create a new robot, you need to cooperate with the second, “male” robot. Additionally, any offspring you reproduce will not be an exact duplicate... a degree of randomization is built into you to ensure the new robot will be a combination of the the traits of the two parents, plus a measure of innovative features as well, that depend on numerous other factors such as environment, construction flaws, diet during the pregnancy...”
“Woah, woah, preganancy?!” interrupted Brad, suddenly concerned. “I did not know Jenny could get pregnant.” Jenny turned to Brad, adding “That makes two of us!”
“Oh relax!” said Ms. Wakeman “you're not exactly a robot, are you Bradly? But I am telling you this for your education, so please, no more interruptions!” The two teens settled down, and Ms. Wakeman continued the lecture. “Now, to understand the process of XJ9's reproduction, you need to understand something about how her electronic brain works. Jenny's entire personality hinges on the fact that her brain is a learning computer. Aside from a few hardwired functions essential to your survival, everything you know has been learned through experience. Oooh, I still remember how proud I was the day you figured out how to walk on your own...”
“You may be wondering why you don't remember learning to walk, or dress yourself, or how to speak english. It's because at the time, you weren't XJ9.” Ms. Wakeman clicked the projector to the next slide, showing a progression of ten robots from left to right, most of which Jenny recognized as the “sisters” she had once found hidden in her house, deactivated. “You see, the XJ series robot is designed for a ten-stage development process. Beginning as an XJ1, you learn to eat, move, and not to release your waste fluids all over my carpet. Moving up the scale, you pass through each body picking up new skills as you go, until XJ8, which is weapons training. The ninth body was intended as the practical testing stage, using your skills to defend the earth from asteroids and such. And it would've stayed that way, had Tuck not chased a baseball into my house and introduced you to human social interaction.”
“After each body switch, your previous memories become permanently integrated into your programming, in such a way that you're able to make use of the skill without the actual memory of learning it cluttering up your RAM.” Ms. Wakeman paused, looking proud of herself.
Jenny spoke up “But, what does that have to do with the pregnancy?”
“Ah, yes of course.” Ms. Wakeman answered. “You see, the female XJ robot is only equipped to construct the outer hardware of the new offspring XJ1. The intricate cybernetic neural junctions needed for the brain of the offspring can only be assembled by tiny nanites, which would normally be supplied by the male robot. The nanites would have to be inactive initially, or else they would attempt to construct neural pathways while still in the male's system. So, once they're out of his system, they need to be activated by an infusion of energy...”
“The electrical shock!” concluded Jenny in a flash of realization. “Yes,” nodded Jenny's mother, “which brings me to the point of this lecture. In order to protect Bradly from your electrical discharge, you'll need to practice “safe sex.” Ms. Wakeman pulled out a dusty cardboard box and produced from it a handful of rubber domes, about the size of large bottle caps. “Jenny, slip one of these overtop of your sparkplug before sex, and it should keep you insulated. There are spares if the first one starts to corrode. Which reminds me...” Digging around in the box, she pulled out a few handheld appliances of various shapes. “Now that you've broken your seal, you'll need to keep the area clean. I would suggest no less then once a month.” Jenny frowned, looking over the uncomfortable looking tools. “Oh.... goody.” she groaned, unenthusiastically.
“Well, any questions?” asked Ms. Wakeman. Jenny put the objects back into their box, and replied with a sad expression. “Yeah... Sheldon. How's he doing? Were you able to help him like you said?” Ms. Wakeman removed her glasses and began cleaning them as she spoke. “Well, it's a bit early to tell for sure. I performed the procedure earlier this afternoon, while you were at school. Sheldon's mind is still coping with the change.” Turning off the projector and heading towards the door, Ms. Wakeman offered “I'll take you visit him, he might appreciate the company. But I must warn you both... his appearance may be a shock.”
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My Life as a Teenaged Von Neumann Device