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Seeking Humanity	By : nightfire69 Category: Transformers > G1 > Het - M/F Views: 2218 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
Warnings: Swearing, lots of sexual innuendo, more Seeker drunkenness, more wacky experiences with painkillers, more things people shouldn’t do at the hospital without getting arrested, an a shocker or two.
Main Character(s): Starscream, Skywarp, Thundercracker, Thrust, Ramjet, Dirge, and Erica.
Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers, Starscream, Skywarp, Thundercracker, Thrust, Ramjet, Dirge, Optimus Prime, Megatron, Shockwave, Swoop, Grimlock, the Decepticons, or the Autobots; they are owned by Hasbro. I do own Erica Witwicky, Dr. Summers, and the rest of the hospital staff.

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Quickly talking her hand out of Dirge’s paints as soon as she heard the knock at the door, Erica said “Come in.”

Walking in was Starscream and Thundercracker who stood there with there with their mouths hung open when they saw Dirge’s hand still Erica’s underwear. That’s when Erica broke the ice.

“Hay, Dirgy, its Screamy and Thundercraper!” giggled the stoned female proudly.

That’s when Dirge took his hand out and shoved both hands in his jean pockets. Thundercracker covered his mouth to hide a smile as he said, “As the humans say, ‘Somebody was caught with their hand in the cookie jar.’”

Starscream on the other hand wasn’t too happy and what mad the situation worse was the fact that Starscream was being overly calm about it and that scared Dirge. He knew that when Starscrem was this calm and angry at the same time that Starscream was at his deadliest. “Dirge has the doctor seen her yet?” asked Starscream very coldly.

“The doctor had ordered some x-rays for her back and said that her toe is fine and just needs to be elevated an a ice pack put on it. The doctor gave her some pain killers so she very out of it.” Said Dirge bowing his head in respect to his air commander and to hide his embarrassment.

“Hand me her wallet.” Starscream commanded as he held put his left hand in a give me motion.

Dirge gave the wallet to Starscream; rummaging through it Starscream took out a twenty dollar bill and handed it to Thundercracker. “Thundercracker, you and Dirge go to the commissary and get yourselves something to eat. I’ll stay here with Erica, now get out of my sight!” growled Starscream bitterly as he gave Dirge a ‘keep away from my property’ look.

As Dirge walked passed Starscream, he gave Starscream a cold, dark look that said, ‘She’s mine and you can never have her.’, before leaving the room to go to the commissary with Thundercracker.

“Bye Dirgy, bye Thundercraper!” giggled Erica again as she saw them leave the room.

Then Thundercracker said, “Stop calling me Thundercraper!”

**************************

Back at home the Seekers were hallucinating worse than before. Ramjet was sitting on a chair in the kitchen with he’s legs tucked under him so he couldn’t tough the floor as he kept hitting nonexistent spider-mice that where zipping here and there on the kitchen floor with the broom.

“What on Cybertron are these fucking things?!?! Take that you eight-legged, squeaky thing! Stop zipping around my damn floor!” Screamed Ramjet as he manically swatted the floor.

In the garage, Thrust was going through Erica’s Christmas decorations and was completely transfix on the prettiness of them.

“Ooo, its so round.” Said Thrust looking at a purple bulb. “And it’s purple. I likey purple.”

Upstairs in Starscream’s and Erica’s room, Skywarp was on the phone with Perceptor talking about the meaning of the universe.

“That’s what I’m sayin’. There has to be a center of the universe and an edge. Where the big bang happened is the center of the universe and if the universe is expanding then there has to be a boarder of some kind, right?” said Skywarp so convincingly that Perceptor couldn’t get off the phone with the drunken Seeker.

“You do have a convincing argument.” Said Perceptor who was completely enthralled in the conversation. “Please, continue.”

********************************

On there way to the commissary, Thundercracker and Dirge heard some crying coming from a room with a huge window in front of it. Walking up to the window to see what was on the other side, Dirge and Thundercracker where amazed to see row after row of baby humans in clear plastic beds.

They have seen infant humans before, but this was a totally new experience for both of them. As they looked in awe, both smiled and started to quietly chuckle together.

“I never new that they where so tiny.” Said Dirge with a smile.

Then Thundercracker said, “You want to know something Dirge?”

“Yeah?”

“I would be a dad,” said Thundercracker with a lump in his throat, “silly right?”

“I don’t think so, I… well,”

“Go on.” Said Thundercracker.

Dirge sighed, “I would like to be one too.”

After their short visit to the nursery, Dirge and Thundercracker continued to the commissary.

********************************

In exam room two, Erica was board and Starscream’s fowl mood was being replaced by amusement by Erica’s mental impairment because of the medicine.

“Hay, Screamy, can I ask ya somethin’?”

Starscream raised an eyebrow, “Yes.”

“What does knowing my bra size and my favorite sexual position is suppose to help you conquer the universe and become future Decepticon leader?” asked Erica in a nonchalant way.

“What?!?!” Starscream replied in shock.

“You heard me, why?” she asked innocently.

“What makes you think that?” he asked as he walked up to her so he could look her face to face.

“Well,” she paused for a second before continuing, “Skyfire said that you keep close track of people that you think that would be useful to you and I figured that if that’s the case then what does my boobs and doggy position hast to do with any of it? Unless you need a sex slave to worship the very ground you walk on, but that wouldn’t be it would it?”

Starscream was flabbergasted to say the least. He didn’t know how or what to feel. He was pissed at Skyfire that was for certain, but as for Erica he was beyond amused. The good news was that he found out her favorite position. As for the sex slave reference, well the last thing he wanted was more perverse ideas involving her.

Before he could answer her the doctor knocked at the door. “Miss. Witwicky, where ready to take those x-rays now.” Said Dr. Summers as he walked through the door.

“Okay.” Said Erica as she got into the wheelchair and Starscream wheeled her out of the room, through the hall to the x-ray room.

*************************************

Back at home, Thrust was covered from head to toe in multicolored garland and standing perfectly still thinking that he was a Christmas tree. Then he started to sing his own rendition of Jingle Bells.

“Jingle bells, Shockwave smells, Swoop laid an egg. Grimlock steals all the wheels and Megatron does ballet! Dancing on his toes, Megatron does ballet. Over the hills Prime goes, farting all the way. Boobs like Starscream think, saying nothing right. Oh what fun it is to fly and sink with Autobots who can not fight! Oh, jingle bells, Shockwave smells, Swoop laid an egg. Grimlock steals all the wheels, while Megatron does ballet. Hay!”

While the spider-mice that Ramjet was hitting with a broom earlier mutated into tarantula-like eight-legged heads of Optimus Prime.

“Stay a way from me!” Yelled Ramjet.

Then an Optimus Prime head jumped in the kitchen counter and screeched, “PRIME!”

“I said stay away from me!” Ramjet yelled again.

Then two more dangled from webs coming from the ceiling above the kitchen table.

“PRIME!” one said.

“PRIME!” And then the other.

As this was happening, Optimus Prime was at his office desk catching up on some thing when Skywarp somehow teleported from Erica’s house to Optimus Prime’s desk, where he was as naked as a jay bird.

“Hay, Prime! How’s tricks?” said Skywarp.

Prime looked up and saw a naked Skywarp on his desk. “What the?!?!? Skywarp is that you?”

“Um, maybe, maybe not.” Said the humanoid Seeker before teleporting to Decepticon headquarters on Charr.

“Skywarp?” said Prime as he was feeling the part of the desk that Skywarp was at. Feeling nothing but the table, he then said to himself, “I’ve been working to hard. I got to take the rest of the day off.”

On Charr, Megatron was at his office desk also catching up on things when Skywarp appeared in front him.

“WHAT THE FUCK!?!?! Skywarp, what are you doing here?” snapped Megatron at the tiny naked Seeker.

That’s when Skywarp told Megatron what he really thought about him.

“Megs, you can go to hell and kiss my ass! You’re a fuck up as a leader and even a bigger loser as a mech! And this is what I think of you and you’re fucked up rules!” said Skywarp as he proceeded to pee on Megatron.

Megatron was livid, not only because Skywarp insulted him, but because Skywarp pissed on him too.

“Skywarp! You’re a dead fleshling!” Megatron shrieked.

“Fuck you old man!” said Skywarp as he gave Megatron the bird as he teleported back to Erica’s house before Megatron squashed him.

**********************************

At the commissary Thundercracker and Dirge looked at the variety of different kinds of foods and both of them were completely dumbfounded. They didn’t really know where to begin.

Thundercracker just blinked and asked Dirge, “Do you have any ideas?”

“Nope. You?” replied Dirge as he looked at one type of food to another, “I don’t know whether to envious of these humans or feel sorry for them.”

“What do you mean?” asked Thundercracker.

“About the food. We as robots have energon, simple and basic. Humans on the other hand have a wide verity of food that they can consume that one could never get board with it. And being stuck in human form makes me understand the Insecticons a lot better.” Stated Dirge honestly.

“What ever, anyway speaking of getting your hands on something, what where you thinking when you had your hand down Erica’s panties?” Thundercracker lightly snipped at the blue conehead.

Dirge took what Thundercracker said with a mix of shock an anger, then he snipped back, “It’s the medication the doctor gave her.”

Thundercracker didn’t believe him. There had to be more to it than her just being on the medication. Dirge had an opportunity to cop a feel and took complete advantage of it. “You fucking liar.” Thundercracker snarled coolly at Dirge as he turned on his heel and started to leave the commissary.

Dirge ran after him. ‘How dare TC accuse me of making a play for her, what about him? He was with her first and he came to me with his face as red as Thrust’s armor plating. He better not tell me nothing happened.’

When he finally caught up to Thundercracker, Dirge stopped in front of him and bluntly asked, “So you want to play this little game? Fine, I got a question for you.”

Stopping in front of Dirge who was blocking his way, Thundercracker asked, “Which is?”

“What happened between you and Erica before you came back to get me to so I could watch her?” questioned Dirge as he crossed his arms and waited for Thundercracker to answer him.

Thundercracker just glared at him, then scowled.

“Well? Aren’t you going to answer me?” Dirge asked again.

Thundercracker stared Dirge down and said, “I will only tell you once. It is none of your damn business because nothing happened!”

“And here you have the fucking gull to call me the liar.” snapped Dirge, “You’re a fucking hypocrite, you know that TC.”

Thundercracker didn’t answer, Dirge didn’t say a word ether as both of them walked backed to the emergency room waiting room so they could both wait for Erica and Starscream to come back for them.

**********************************

After the x-rays where taken and Erica, Starscream and the doctor discussed that she was fine and just needed to be taken care of for about a week. The doctor wrote a prescription for more painkillers and muscle relaters and handed it to Starscream and he and Erica went to the hospital’s pharmacy to get her medication. After getting her medication they walked back to the emergency room waiting room.

As they walked in they saw Thundercracker on one side of the room and Dirge on the other. Both Seekers had their arms crossed and both coldly stared at each other as if they were trying to prove the phrase ‘that looks could kill’ was plausible. That’s when Starscream got their attention.

“Dirge, Thundercracker, we’re leaving.” Said Starscream.

Both Dirge and Thundercracker got up and followed Starscream and Erica out to the parking lot and to the car. The Drive home was too quiet and the vibe in the car was just as bad. The mood started to lighten though when they arrived home. As they entered the garage and got out of the car, they saw Thrust covered in Christmas stuff and singing his odd rendition of Jingle Bells.

“Jingle bells, Shockwave smells, Swoop laid an egg. Grimlock steals all the wheels and Megatron does ballet! Dancing on his toes, Megatron does ballet. Over the hills Prime goes, farting all the way. Boobs like Starscream think, saying nothing right.”

“Hay!” shouted Starscream because lyric involving him.

Then Thrust finished the song. “Oh what fun it is to fly and sink with Autobots who can not fight! Oh, jingle bells, Shockwave smells, Swoop laid an egg. Grimlock steals all the wheels, while Megatron does ballet. Hay!”

“What on Cybertron has gotten into Thrust?” asked Dirge.

“I don’t think I want to know.” replied Thundercracker.

Before anyone could say anything, Ramjet opened the garage door and ran up to Starscream and started to hug him as if he was scared of something.

“Get off of me!” grumbled Starscream, “What is wrong with you Ramjet?”

“They’re after me! You gotta save me from them!” cried Ramjet like a little baby as he clinged onto Starscream for dear life.

“Who’s after you?” asked a puzzled Thundercracker.

“The Prime heads with fuzzy spider legs!” whimpered Ramjet with tears running down his face.

“What?” said Starscream, Dirge, and Thundercracker in confused unison while Erica just giggled.

That’s when Starscream asked, “Dirge, get Thrust while I get Ramjet off of me.”

“Come on TC let’s see how Skywarp is doing.” Said Erica who was finally coming out of medication high.

As Dirge and Starscream where dealing with Ramjet and Thrust; Thundercracker and Erica walked into the house. Everything seemed fine as Erica walked up carefully to her room and Thundercracker looked around in the kitchen. All Thundercracker saw was one empty bottle of Absinthe and two unopened bottles of the same green glowing liquid.

Walking into her room, Erica looked around to see that her room’s sliding glass door to her balcony was opened. As she walked up to close it, somebody covered her eyes with one hand and started to kiss the back of her neck.

****************************

Finally getting Ramjet off of him, Starscream walked into the house and saw Thundercracker staring at the floor in front of the dishwasher. He walked over and saw a naked Skywarp sleeping on the floor. “Where’s Erica?” Starscream asked.

“She’s went up to your guys’ room.” He told Starscream as he started to bend down so he could wake Skywarp up.

So Starscream started going up stairs when he heard Erica scream bloody murder. That’s when he started running up to see what’s wrong. Entering his and Erica’s room, Starscream sees a strange looking male human forcing himself on Erica. That’s when Starscream became psychotically enraged and pulled the man off Erica and started to beat the living shit out of th mystery man.

***************************

Ramjet and Thrust where slowly coming out of their drunken stupor as them and Dirge walked in from the garage. Thundercracker finally got Skywarp up when they heard Erica scream and a loud crash coming from the rec room ceiling where Starscream’s and Erica’s bedroom was.

“What the hell is going on up there?” asked Thrust.

“Don’t ask me, I just got up.” Said Skywarp then he notice that he was naked; “Why am I naked?”

“That’s how I found you, Warp.” Snickered Thundercracker.

Everyone started laughing at Skywarp, but then a gun shot was heard coming from Erica’s and Starscream’s room.
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Seeking Humanity