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Kiss of Fire	By : Spleef Category: Avatar - The Last Airbender > General Views: 75165 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 47
- 48
- 49
Kiss of Fire
Chapter 48 – My Lives and Loves
o0o0o0o
Katara
I could not speak as I hugged Kuzon close, staring up at Zuko and Aang. I shouldn't have come here...I thought briefly as I feared the possibility of a fight between them. I felt the fur of Kuzon's coat against my cheek as he wrapped his arms around my neck. To put off the inevitable, I turned my focus back to my son, tightening my embrace as I looked down at him, stroking his hair with one hand as I knew he enjoyed.
“Please don't ever leave again, Mama.” Kuzon whispered. I sighed softly, nodding.
“I missed you too.”
When I tried to stand up, Kuzon refused to let go. I smirked faintly, privately happy that he was providing such a handy distraction. I looked at my husband, studying the cool expression on his face. His gaze was unreadable.
“Why don't we make ourselves comfortable and have some breakfast?” Suki glanced down at me, and I nodded.
“I have water on the stove for tea, and the rice is nearly done. The stew is as you left it, but I have been stirring it.” We hadn't been sure of what would happen with the Fire Lord, so Suki suggested that we go ahead and start enough breakfast for all of us. The children were in the front room, playing Pai Sho after fetching me wood and water for breakfast. It was a good exercise for Yoshi and Kaya to practice their Waterbending, and all I had to do was wait patiently.
“If we carry the seats from the front room to the dining table, there will be enough seats for all of us.” I said, switching to 'Mistress of the Palace' mode. It was what I did to run the household, instructing the servants and organizing matters. “There's a stack of dishes sitting on the counter, and the table is halfway set. If you all would make yourselves comfortable here, we can have breakfast shortly.”
“Kids! You heard what she said, come and help!” Suki was quick to come to my aid. Between the two of us, we had everything arranged just so in a short amount of time. The guards stood outside, and Zuko regarded me silently as I helped Suki carry food from the kitchen. The tension was thick in the air, and I knew everybody could feel it. I sat between Kuzon and Zuko, across the table from Aang. When I had been hugging Kuzon, I heard them greet one another formally and shortly. 'Fire Lord'. 'Avatar Aang'. I could feel Aang's gaze on me, and I kept my eyes on my plate.
My brother and the Fire Lord exchanged small talk for a bit before falling into silence. Suki tried to keep the atmosphere lively, but I was in no mood to talk. Despite the food not being gourmet fare as they were used to, living in the Palace, my husband and son helped themselves to Suki's food, obviously enjoying the meal. I knew that Sokka's children were curious about Kuzon, and vice versa. I thought about how it would be nice for Kuzon to play with the children here and enjoy himself. Zuko and I tried to raise him as normally as possible and did not spoil him, but the fact was that he was the Prince of the Fire Nation, and that affected his life in ways big and small. It felt good to be here, away from Palace life, and it would be nice for Kuzon to experience some of that.
But I knew my husband was not pleased. Suppose he wanted to leave immediately. I looked up to see him looking at Aang, and the Avatar staring back. Aang's gray eyes flicked to mine, and I quickly looked away, shifting focus to Suki. Her gaze told me that she understood that I was uncomfortable, but she was helpless to do anything about it. Before, Zuko had fettered me with a gold chain when I defied his direct order. What would the consequences of this action be? But I would not be kowed. I was ready to stand up against Zuko again if I had to. Given everything that had happened, I had damn well earned my right to be here.
We finished breakfast, and I rose to help Suki gather the dishes from the table. But Zuko grabbed my sleeve, looking at me with a stern expression.
“Pack your things. We're leaving.”
I could only stare at him for a few moments. But I squared my shoulders and slowly shook my head.
“No.” I replied in a quiet but firm tone, staring into his eyes. I could feel Aang and Sokka's eyes on me. They certainly had witnessed Zuko and me fighting in the past, on our journey to defeat the Fire Lord.
My husband tightened his jaw as he stared back at me, and I gave him a tight smile before I tugged my sleeve away. As I left my seat, I noticed Aang smirking faintly.
“I think you're the only one who could defy Fire Lord Zuko and get away with it!” Suki confided as I joined her in the kitchen.
“There's no way in hell I'm letting him just drag me back home. I enjoy it here too much. I don't have to think about my duties as Fire Lady or what others will think of me. Here, I can just... be myself.”
“Being Fire Lady isn't easy, is it?”
“There's lots of nice things to enjoy. But there's the tradeoff, of course. When I'm in the Palace City, there is absolutely no way I can shed my role. I know I will need to go back to Sozun, but I'd like to stay a bit longer.”
“I understand. Sokka and I can talk to him if you want.”
“I appreciate that. But let me talk to him first, okay?”
“Of course. He's your husband, not mine.” We smiled at one another, and it felt good to have a friend who treated me like a normal person, not the Queen of a nation.
o0o0o0o
Zuko
No, Just like that, she said as she stared at me. I was tempted to just haul her over my shoulder and leave the house. She had run off without telling me where she was, placing herself in danger while Kuzon and I worried about her and missed her fiercely. When she left the room, I glanced at Sokka and Aang. My brother-in-law was seemingly absorbed by an invisible loose thread on the hem of his sleeve, but the Avatar was staring at me.
I knew what he had been up to over the years, repopulating the Airbender population when he wasn't on some errand to keep the world and the nations in balance. He had been angry with me right after Katara's death – not that I blamed him – but after that, we maintained mutual respect for one another. I kept tabs on him over the years, so I knew how many children he had. I was prepared to offer an education in Sozun for any of his children should they desire it as soon as they came of age, regardless of the nationality of their mothers. I did what I could to keep Kyoshi safe and comfortable. Aang could not fault me in my efforts to keep the world in balance and the Nations at peace. But being around him in person still made me feel somewhat uncomfortable, even after all this time.
“It's a nice day. Go play outside.” Sokka said. His children obeyed him, and as they did, I looked at them. There was no mistaking Hakoda's paternity, and I saw so much of teenage Sokka in him that I almost smiled. Yoshi looked more like his mother, and I could see a resemblance to Katara in the youngest child.
For so long I had envied Sokka and Suki. My sister had almost killed Suki, but she survived, to be reunited with the boy she liked and eventually came to love.
“I need to speak with you. Privately.” Aang said as he looked at me. I narrowed my eyes.
“Come on.” He rose from his seat and headed towards the door. I remained where I was. I would be damned if I let the Avatar order me around! Ignoring him, I turned my head, looking at the entryway to the kitchen. Feminine laughter burst from the other room, and I tightened my fists. How I had missed the sound of her laughter.
“It's important that I talk to you.” I heard Aang's voice say.
“I am the Fire Lord. I take orders from no one.” I slowly turned to stare at him, my voice steely with irritation.
“I'm not ordering. I'm asking.” His voice was serene, which only served to invoke my ire further. “Come talk with me... please?”
I let out a low sigh before I rose from my seat.
After the warmth of the house, I cursed the cold again, seeing how comfortable the Avatar looked, seemingly oblivious to the crisp breeze on his bald scalp. Most people in the Fire Nation had never been out of the temperate clime of the Islands or Colonies, and took the warm weather for granted.
“What is it you have to say, Avatar?” I asked, our breath visible. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sokka's children run around and play in the yard in a game of tag.
“I have a name, and you know it.” he said with a good-natured smile. I merely stared back at him.
“Please don't look so sour. You have pretty much the same expression you did when I first met you and you were trying to take me into custody.”
“Hmph.” I looked away.
“Zuko...” I heard him exhale softly. “I'll be honest. I still care for Katara. I'm happy she is here. But I respect her choice.”
I raised my eyebrow as I looked back at him.
“I enjoyed the time we spent together. When she showed up here... I almost couldn't believe my eyes. I thought I might be dreaming.”
I felt the same way when I first saw her in Omashu, wondering if it was my mind playing tricks on me or my loneliness had created a hallucination.
“I asked her to stay here. With me.” It was all too clear what Aang meant, and I clenched my jaw.
“She said no.”
“Good.”
“Don't be like that, please. I didn't know she was married to you. She wouldn't tell me why she had run away or who she had run away from...” He sighed and shook his head. “It doesn't change my feelings for her, but I will respect her decision. However...” He looked at me with a determined expression. “If she wants to leave with you now, very well. But if she wishes to stay in Kyoshi longer... I will help her maintain her decision.”
“Is that how it is going to be?”
“Whatever Katara wants, and I will not allow you to drag her away.”
“I am the Fire Lord. You cannot tell me what to do with my wife.”
“This isn't about you. Or even about me. This is about her, and what she needs and wants. If she feels that she needs more time here, then I will ensure that she gets what she wants.”
Part of me was glad that he was showing concern for her and not attempting to fight me for her hand – something I had to admit I had been worried about – but damnit, I just wanted to get out of this cold place and back to the security and warmth of my Palace! Firebenders could 'turn up' their inner heat if they were masterful enough of their Bending, but that did not make us numb to feeling cold on our skin.
“She needs to be with her husband and child.” I said flatly.
“Nothing's stopping you or the Prince from staying here.” he replied smoothly. “After all, it's been many years since you paid a visit to Kyoshi Island.”
“I didn't come here for a visit!”
“I know that, but you can see for yourself that Katara's safe. She just wants to spend time with her family. Is that so wrong?”
I looked away with a scowl, knowing he was right.
o0o0o0o
Kuzon
When Father left with the Avatar, I looked back at Sokka. We were alone at the table, and I wasn't sure what I should do, so I just kept looking at him. He looked a lot like Mama, with blue eyes and dark skin. I remember Father telling me before about his adventures with the Avatar and that he would practice his sword-fighting with Sokka. Was this the same person?
“It's nice to finally meet you, Kuzon.” he said as he looked down at me.
“Finally?” I could not help but ask. He chuckled and nodded.
“It's been a long time since I was in the Fire Nation. Before you were born, in fact.” He sounded calm and friendly. It was hard to not like him.
“Are you the same Sokka who traveled with my father and the Avatar?” I asked.
“The one and only.”
“Father said you were the best swordsman he ever sparred with.”
“He wasn't too bad himself with those dual swords of his.” Sokka grinned at me. “Maybe we'll spar later and you can watch. Would you like that?”
Gosh! Father rarely spoke highly of anyone, so when he did, I knew that these people were special. I had seen Father a few times during his training sessions, whether it be with Firebending or his swords.
“Yes, please!”
“We'll see if he's in the mood later.” He rose from the table. “Would you like to play outside with my children?”
“Sure.” I let him take my hand and lead me outside. Sokka's children were running around and yelling, playing a game of tag. Sometimes the servant's children would play games too. Whenever I wanted to play, they had to include me, but it always felt weird for me. Everyone called me 'Prince Kuzon', 'my Prince', or 'young lord', and when I played tag, ball, or hide-and-seek, I had the feeling that they let me win. If I wanted to play a board game, they let me win there too. I wanted them to play a real game with me, but when I told them to play their best, they still let me win. Whenever I said they were just letting me win, they would just flatter me with all kinds of compliments. After a while, I stopped playing with the servants' children so much.
But Sokka's children didn't do that. Hakoda was It and he chased us all around before tagging me. When I ran after the others, they didn't slow down like the children back home did. I managed to catch Yoshi, and he just laughed and ran after his sister, and then his sister chased me.
o0o0o0o
Katara
I raised my head and looked through the window when I heard my son's delighted laugh. He ran around the corner of the house, being chased by Kaya. His eyes were alight with excitement, and a big grin was fixed on his face. I certainly could understand how he felt. I hoped my husband would see the same thing I did.
I pulled on Sokka's parka and went outside. It did not take me long to find Zuko and Aang, and I stood off to one side, watching them talk. They had such intense expressions on their faces that I silently prayed they wouldn't fight. I remembered all too well their fight on Ember Island.
After several moments, I approached them. My heart skipped a beat when they turned toward me, their feelings for me easy to read in their eyes and facial expressions. I silently prayed that this situation could be resolved peacefully. I had never thought about – another – confrontation between the two of them.
“We need to talk.” Zuko said. I quickly glanced at Aang, gauging his reaction or expression. But he remained calm, smiling at me faintly. That was good sign... right? As I let Zuko lead me away, I hoped that I wasn't experiencing the calm before the storm.
Zuko glanced across the yard when Kuzon chased Hakoda, his pale cheeks rosy with exertion. The guards were attentive, watching him as he played, but giving the children a wide berth. I looked at my husband, gauging his reaction to the sight of his son playing and having fun. There was a slight smile, his lips curved upward almost imperceptibly. So far, so good. Dare I hope that this situation might turn out the way I wanted it?
We sat on a bench near the fence. I stared at him, waiting for him to speak. He was silent for several moments, as if considering what to say.
“Why couldn't you tell me where you were going?” he asked quietly, hurt evident despite his soft tone.
”I was afraid you might try to stop me. After what happened, I just... wanted to get away from it all.”
“Even though that would cause Kuzon and I to worry ourselves sick over you? Damnit, Katara!” He maintained his low tone, but his frustration was evident. “You could have been attacked, kidnapped, or killed...”
I winced. He had seen me die once. I certainly could understand his anger and fear.
“I'm sorry. It was never my intent to do that to you. My journey was safe, but I was prepared. After all, you had me trained in weapons and martial arts, and I am a master Waterbender on top of that.”
“That's not the point!” He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, letting his breath out in a low sigh before he spoke again, “I already lost you once. I could not bear the tiniest chance of losing you again...”
“Oh, Zu...” I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, hugging him close. He offered no resistance, burying his head against my shoulder. I rubbed his back for several moments, whispering reassuring words much like I would for Kuzon. It felt so good to have him in my arms again. After a bit, he pulled back and looked at me.
“Just promise me that you will never do anything like that again.”
I nodded. “You have my word.”
“Good.” He fell silent. I placed my hand on his arm, and felt his gloved hand wrap around mine. We watched Kuzon play for a while before my husband rose from his seat.
“We're going back to the ship.”
“No.”
“You dare say no to the Fire Lord?”
“That's right. I love you, but I refuse to let you drag me away.”
“And how long did you intend to stay here?”
“What's it to you?” I asked defiantly. I could almost swear that I saw a glimmer of enjoyment in his eyes at my stubbornness.
“Tara...” He was stern.
“I wanted to spend a couple of days with Sokka. I was going to leave within a few days, honest.”
“Three days?” he asked. I nodded.
“All right.”
All right what? I cocked my head slightly.
“We can stay for three days. But you sleep in the ship.”
“Trying to negotiate with me now?” I asked dryly.
“The Fire Lord does not negotiate.”
“With me, he does.” I smirked faintly.
“You defiant wench.” he whispered.
“And you love me all the more for it.”
A slow smirk spread across his face.
o0o0o0o
Zuko
I stood in the doorway, listening as my wife read a bedtime story to our son. She was sitting in his bed, with him curled up at her side.
There was so much I wanted to ask her, but I felt it wise to wait until we were alone. Kuzon was having such a good time with the other children. I spent time with Sokka and Katara, the Avatar leaving us alone after a while to be with his own children, but even as he left, I saw the longing for Katara in his eyes.
Kuzon yawned as Katara continued reading, his head resting against her chest as she held the book. She was reading one of my favorite stories, 'The Wisdom of the Phoenix'. It was the tale of a Prince who did not get along with his father and older brothers and was unhappy with his life. He was young, barely on the verge of manhood, and he felt that if he gained wisdom, he would be better able to resolve the issues in his life.
So he went on a journey to see the Phoenix, because it was said that the firebird guarded the source of wisdom, and he hoped that she might share a bit with him. He actually ended up falling in love with her, which made for a bittersweet ending to this fable. Nonetheless, it remained a popular story in the Fire Nation, and was one of the favorite stories to be turned into plays, much like 'Love Amongst the Dragons'.
My mother read it to me when I was little, and I could not help but reminisce as Katara did the same for our son. As she finished the story, she quietly closed the book before setting it aside on the nightstand and holding Kuzon for a few minutes in her embrace.
Finally, she rose from the bed, kissing his forehead before she blew out the lamp. Kuzon whimpered softly in protest, but she gently hushed and soothed him before approaching me, letting me lead her to our room.
“He missed you. When my mother disappeared, I never saw her again.” I whispered. I saw her wince, and she stiffened and pulled away from me before squaring her shoulders.
“Zuko, I'm sorry about making the two of you worry. But I did what I had to do.”
I let out a low sigh. “I don't want to argue. What's important is that you're safe and we're together.” I led her to the table near the fireplace, where a bottle of wine and two glasses waited for us.
“No tea tonight?” she asked dryly.
“I'm not in the mood.” I took her hand and led her to one of the thickly-cushioned seats. The fire danced cheerfully, and Katara scooted closer to its warmth as she took her wine. As she started sipping her wine, I drank mine as well, feeling the slow burn of the alcohol as it slid down my throat.
While Katara was gone, I had spent a lot of time thinking about what had happened and the knowledge that she had been carrying my child. I imagined what such a child would be like, what it would be like to have one with her. Hadn't I spent enough nights dreaming of this after she died? Sylid's news was a shock to me at first, but I felt grief and actually mourned a child I had never met.
“Katara...” I murmured. She looked up at me. “I'm sorry about what happened with the baby. I truly am. I never meant to cause you to feel that you couldn't talk to me about it. I don't want you to believe that I deem you unworthy to bear my child. All these years ago, when I asked you to stay at my side in the Fire Nation, I was excited at the idea of eventually having children with you.”
I saw her gaze soften as she stared at me.
“When I found you again, I already had two children. I thought, why run the chance of risking your life with another one? I already lost you once, and I was terrified at the idea that I could lose you again, however small the chance...”
“I understand. You also didn't want Kuzon to have a younger sibling that would give him a hard time like Ozai or Azula did.”
I nodded slowly and reached across the table to take her hand.
“If you still want another child, I'm open to the idea.”
“You really mean that? Not just to please me?”
I nodded. “I did a lot of thinking whole you were gone. I can have a Waterbending healer at your side through the pregnancy to ensure your health, and we would be good parents. We wouldn't let the situation between our children get bad like it did in previous generations.”
“I appreciate that, but I'm not ready...”
“Of course.” I squeezed her hand. “No pressure. Just let me know when you feel ready, and we'll go from there.”
“Thank you.” Her voice was thick with emotion, and her eyes became glazed over with tears.
“Come here.” I patted my lap, and she slid into it. I hugged her tightly, cradling her close.
o0o0o0o
Katara
I felt him press his lips to my forehead, and I closed my eyes, letting the tears fall. His hand slid up and down my back, and I let out a quiet sigh, simply snuggling into his embrace. We cuddled by the fire, drinking and alternating between silence and a bit of talk before he rose from his seat, hoisting me in his arms and carrying me to the bed.
I let him slide off my robe, revealing a long-sleeved white nightgown. As I reclined onto the pillows, he took off my slippers, gently kissing my feet as he did so and receiving a smile as his reward. He lifted the comforter and blankets, tucking me in much as either of us would do for Kuzon, and I snuggled into the comfy bed. It had been a long day, and I was more than ready to settle in for the night, especially next to my husband. The wine we drank gave me a mild and enjoyable buzz, and I closed my eyes.
The thick mattress shifted under his weight as he wiggled close, and I smiled faintly as I felt his arm drape across my middle.
“Good night, Tara. I love you.” I heard him whisper as he kissed my cheek.
“Love you too, Zu.” He nuzzled me after I said that.
o0o0o0o
When I opened my eyes, I realized I had to be dreaming. I remembered falling asleep within Zuko's embrace, and how I was floating through what seemed to be oblivion. When I looked down at my hands, they were ethereal and translucent. That was weird, because I didn't have dreams like that.
Light filled the darkness, and I saw a beautiful, ornate building of red and gold, even more lavish than the ceremonial buildings within the Volcano City. I floated into it as if someone was pulling me along with a string, and I gasped softly when a dragon appeared within my line of sight and circled around me.
Its body was long and sinuous like a snake, its scales red, fading to gold around the edges. As it settled down, folding its hands – paws? – like a cat did, I got a good look at its face. Dragons were depicted often enough in Fire Nation storybooks, paintings, and murals for me to be familiar with them. Though the Earth Kingdom's preferred animals were badger-moles, dragons occasionally did appear in their artwork, though usually green instead of red.
But there was something familiar about this particular one, though I could not place it right away. He had bright golden eyes, just like my husband, with a calm gaze that spoke of fierceness, strength, and wisdom all in one.
Even though my form was ethereal, I felt the floor under my feet as I was gently lowered onto it.
Greetings. The dragon lowered his head in a slight bow. Imperial protocol had all sorts of rules for bowing depending on one's own rank in relation to the rank of the other person. My education certainly hadn't covered etiquette with a dragon, so I simply bowed to him in the same way I or other high-ranking subordinates would bow to Zuko in Court.
“Greetings, most honored Dragon.” I said. His voice was a deep rumble that was actually soothing, almost like Zuko's bedroom voice, but much deeper and louder. My form had no flesh, but I could feel the vibrations pass through me, causing me to shiver slightly.
You may call me Agni. My eyes widened in surprise. I knew that the history of the Fire Lords claimed that their bloodline came straight from Agni himself, but the first Fire Lord had come from the ancient order of Fire Sages, and their origins were shrouded in mystery. However, as I looked into Agni's eyes, it was easy to believe that my husband was descended from him.
“What am I doing here?”
You sought an answer that the Avatar was unable to give you.
“With all due respect, I must ask why you did not talk to me before.”
Understandable, but you needed to go on your journey. The ones who loved you needed to see you as well. But it was you and Zuko who ensured your return to him.
“How?”
He raised his right hand, extending one taloned finger to gently touch my breast, where my birthmark – Zuko's mark – was.
“Is this why I was born the same as before?” I asked. I looked just as I had before, had the same abilities, and my memories restored to me completely if not revealed to me in my childhood.
You and Zuko are soul mates. But because of what you did twenty years ago, it enabled the two of you to be reunited as you were in this lifetime.
“Soul mates? We were.... together in past lives?”
Not always. But yes.
I gently touched the talon, feeling its smoothness under my palm.
“People speak of soul mates and being with their true love again and again... but I thought it was just a lovely story, a romantic comfort for lovers...”
Just because Zuko is your soul mate and true love does not mean you are incapable of loving others.
“Aang...”
Agni nodded. In other lives, you shared your love with others. You lived and loved, with or without your mate.
“Did... I share lives with Aang?”
A few times, yes. And others. The cycle of life is infinite, beyond time immemorial. Even we mighty spirits must participate in this cycle, though our lives might not be as ephemeral as yours.
That answer reassured me. “I have one more question. The legend of the Fire Nation royalty is that they're descended from you. Is that true?”
He smiled, his eyes twinkling. Spirits are capable of feeling love just as humans do. His claw gently ran up my chest to touch my cheek, his caress given with the utmost care. Zuko is not the first one to love a Waterbender. After all, Water is Fire's opposite, but it does not mean antagonism as many would believe.
“You...?”
As God of Fire, how could I not appreciate the beauty of Water? Just as Zuko marked you, so did I mark the one I loved so she would not be lost to me through the passage of time.
How could I not feel warmed by such a beautiful story? The chronicles and legends of the Fire Lords never mentioned anything about being descended from a Waterbender, though. I wonder if that had been an accidental or purposeful omission of truth. “Thank you for having me here, Agni. I am honored.”
I share the honor. He bowed his head, lightly touching my breast again before everything went black.
o0o0o0o
I blinked as I felt cold air on my cheeks, seeing blue and white surround me. When I quickly glanced around, I saw a city of ice and snow – the Northern City? I was in what was apparently the plaza, though the buildings around me were different, many smaller or just different from what I remembered of the city of the Northern Water Tribe. As I puzzled at my surroundings and the differences that didn't make sense, memories seeped into my consciousness of a life lived here.
My heart was heavy as I looked at my bridegroom. I didn't want to be with him, but in the Northern Water Tribe, if a man had the endorsement of the girl's father, she could be pressured into marrying him. Such was the lot of women in this patriarchal society, and I closed my eyes, thinking of the man I loved. He was here, watching me be married to this older and considerably more powerful man – Aktok was the brother of the chief and despite being twice my age, Father deemed him a better choice for me than the youth whose father had been killed in a battle when he was young, leaving him and his mother to support themselves.
It mattered not that the one I loved was a hard worker, because in Father's eyes, he was poor and not worthy. I felt Aktok's hands squeeze mine in a silent command to look at him. I despised him and knew that he saw me as inferior, a weak female to protect and provide for in return for servitude and offspring. It mattered not that I was a Waterbender, since women were not allowed to use their abilities like men.
I was deaf to the chief's words as he declared us husband and wife, and as Aktok and I turned to face our guests, I could see the pain in Sinaaq's eyes. His lips were pressed in a tight line, fists clenched at his sides. My pain and grief was his, and I longed to run to him and feel his arms around me.
Oh, Zuko. I felt my heart break at the memories of this life. I did not have to live with my grief for too long, because in giving life to Aktok's child, I lost mine.
o0o0o0o
I was in a comfortable home in the Earth Kingdom. As I walked through the hallway, trying to figure out where I was, memories filtered in through my consciousness again. My footsteps were heavy on the polished wooden floor, an unusual sensation for me. When I looked down, I saw masculine hands, and large feet clad in plain but well-made boots. As I passed a mirror, I saw the visage of a broad-shouldered and middle-aged Earth Kingdom man, my body garbed in fine green cotton bordered with gold.
“Huizheng, you're home!” The voice was filled with happiness, and I realized that I had approached the end of the hallway, stopping at a veranda that opened into a lovely garden. A woman perhaps ten years younger than my current persona approached me, hobbling along on bound feet contained within exquisitely-tailored slippers. Her being able to walk was made more impressive by the fact that she was heavy with our second child.
Bound feet? That was a practice that had been outlawed in the Earth Kingdoms for a few centuries in most parts of the Great Continent before its last vestiges were finally eradicated by Avatar Kyoshi. My mother and sisters all had bound feet, but even as a little boy, I had been bothered by them, wondering why my sisters, once able to run around freely and play with me, were forced to submit to this excruciatingly painful technique for the sake of so-called beauty. For every pair of bound feet, there is a lake of tears. How could I forget my sisters' frustrated shrieks and wails of pain as their freedom was taken from them bit by bit with every tightening of their silken foot-wrappings? I would love for nothing more than to see my wife be able to walk joyfully and skip and dance instead of mince along on those tiny feet.
Almost unconsciously, I raised my arms, enveloping her within my strong embrace.
“I missed you too, Suyuan.” I whispered as I inhaled the scent of her perfume. When she looked up at me, her jade-green eyes shining with obvious affection, I grinned back at her, inwardly startled by the familiarity I felt. Despite the obviously female face that stared back at me and the color of her eyes, I recognized Aang.
Suyuan was full of love and cheer despite the pain of her bound feet. She was a wonderful companion, and I had no need or desire for a concubine even though I could afford one. I was a lucky man to have found love, and on my business trips, I thought of her and was always eager to come home to her. She was a good conversationalist, and I felt like I could tell her anything, and she always knew how to make me laugh. She was beautiful even with her belly thrusting out in front of her. What more could I ask for?
I smiled down at her affectionately, rubbing her back as I did so.
o0o0o
The night was peaceful, with the occasional chirp of crickets or chatter of a lemur. Moonlight filtered in through the windows, illuminating a sparse but comfortable room. I recognized the architecture as an Air Nomad monastery, and again, new – old? – memories started to make themselves apparent. I was a woman this time, and an Air Nun on top of that. I looked down, seeing myself clad in a comfortable pale yellow robe, my feet bare. When I turned around, I saw an Air Monk lying on the pallet.
Was this Zuko again, or Aang? As I turned, he smiled at me. He was a bit stocky, but still rather fit and handsome, with the usual shaved scalp and tattoo of a monk.
“Come here, Sangmu.” He opened his arms to me, and I did not hesitate to join him. Air Monks and Nuns could only be intimate during certain occasions, since the men and women usually lived separate lives at their respective temples. Generally, a relationship like ours was frowned upon, because such attachment created longing during separation. But Goba and I could not help but fall in love after a mutual respect and affection we shared for one another as children. We maintained it even after we had to return to our respective homes after the time of co-mingling was over. When we became old enough to engage in the ceremonies that resulted in making babies, we inevitably chose one another as partners.
We had actually considered running away, to be part of the Earth Kingdom and lead normal lives, but such a prospect was daunting after the comfort and security our isolated lives afforded us. Like our spiritual brothers and sisters, we were both merrybegots, conceived during the ceremonies that celebrated the pleasures of the union between man and woman. It was not simply for pleasure, but to ensure that our race would thrive. Whenever the spirits deemed fit to cause a Nun to be receptive to her chosen partner's seed, her pregnancy was celebrated with her sisters.
Our maternity and paternity were secret, both of us raised communally by the older members of our sex. In that way, there were no orphans, and each of us had multiple parental figures to look up to.
“I love you.” Goba whispered in my ear as we cuddled together. We were not supposed to say such things, since we were to love the world, not any one individual. We already had a couple of children, but like any other Monk or Nun, we were unable to raise them as our own. Our children were well-cared for, but sometimes I longed to take them aside, and tell them who I really was, and I knew that Goba felt the same way. We had long ago agreed to follow the rules of the Air Nomads in that aspect, to make it easier for us and our children.
“Love you too.” I murmured, stroking his cheek and wiggling against him to signal my desire. He grinned as he started to undo his tunic.
o0o0o0o
The air was crisp and cool, giving relief to my aching throat and lungs as I ran, the soles of my feet already blistered and bloody from running for so long. A girl that has been raised in a brothel is ill-suited for hard work, and through I had stolen shoes, they were not made for such rough terrain and had quickly given way to the fury of Nature. My robes were plastered to my body, and the bag strapped to my back felt heavy despite its relatively light load due to my exhaustion. We had been on the run for several days now.
“Come on, Kyuki!” My companion tugged me up when I stumbled, and I looked up to see a beautiful, pale face with dark gold eyes, several thick strands of her raven hair plastered to her face as the rain continued pouring down on us. In the distance, I heard the roar of the Shirshu, and despite the throbbing pain of my soles, I propelled forward.
It was not uncommon for prostitutes to form friendships with one another, though competition could run just s fiercely between the women, whether it be at a high-class establishment with highly-trained courtesans, or the filthiest back-alley cathouse in the slums of the city that would come to be known as Sozun.
But the bond between Shoko and I had been instantaneous, since the first moment her parents sold her to our madam and I happened to glance upon her crying as her parents left her behind, her mother pushing her away despite her pleas and protestations. To them, she was just another mouth to feed, and I knew they had to be poor to sell her to a place such as this. I barely remembered my own parents, having lost them to a plague and unloaded onto Madame for but a handful of coppers by an uncle who didn't want to be bothered with an orphaned niece.
We grew up together, comforting one another after the painful affair of having our virginities sold to men who cared nothing for us as people, or after sessions with rough clients. We had seen what happened to the older women, and didn't want to end up with the same miserable fate that met up these used-up and diseased women. And we found comfort within one another's embrace and touch, something we knew to never expect from any of the men who came to the Red Lily. Shoko was the only one I ever wanted to be intimate with, and she felt the same.
So we saved and saved, pinching copper coins and hiding the tips we were lucky enough to receive from the few kind patrons we serviced. And when we considered ourselves ready, we ran away.
Of course, pimps or madams do not like it when their merchandise runs away. The establishment was decent if not high-class and the girls pretty enough that anyone who ran away was a big enough loss to bother Madame to care enough to fetch them back.
“Shit!” I heard Shoko mutter as we came to the edge of a cliff. I was confident that we could navigate our way down or around it – but only if it were light and the weather nice enough. As it was, with the moon in the final stage of its waning and the rain pouring down around us, we didn't stand a chance.
The Shirshu burst into view, ridden by an armored man. It was impossible to make out his features amidst the near-total darkness. We couldn't go back. We had seen what happened to others who ran away and were brought back. The waves crashed below us, and I swallowed thickly as I looked at Shoko. A flash of lightning illuminated her delicate features. The black hair, pale skin, and dark amber eyes made for a very feminine-looking version of Zuko, her nose and chin formed of delicate planes.
“Let's jump.” Shoko whispered fiercely. “We can't go back, you know what will happen.”
She squeezed my hand tightly, and I shivered. I felt her arm wrap around me.
“I'll always love you. We'll go together, and we'll be together forever.”
I nodded. Before the Shirshu could paralyze us, we jumped.
o0o0o0o
I gasped softly as I jerked awake, finding myself in Zuko's bed, surrounded by the warmth of his body. It took me a couple of moments to orient myself, and I let out a slow sigh of relief when I studied my surroundings.
Zuko stirred beside me, raising his head and looking down at me with concern.
“Katara? Are you okay?”
I stared at him for several moments, studying his handsome features before cupping his face.
“Yes. I'm okay.” I stroked his cheek.
“Are you sure? You looked like you just woke up from a nightmare.”
“Really, I'm fine.” I smiled at him reassuringly, lightly touching his nose with mine. I pondered what Agni had said. Should I share that with Zuko or Aang? I felt a bit confused at first, being inundated by a mishmash of memories from all sorts of lives. I pushed them back, focusing on my memories as Miumi and Katara.
Nah. There was no need to explain it all to Zuko. Agni had intended these answers to be for me. “Don't worry your pretty head about it. Go back to sleep, my love.” I gently pushed him back down, snuggling up to him and draping my arm across his chest.
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Kiss of Fire