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Kiss of Fire	By : Spleef Category: Avatar - The Last Airbender > General Views: 75165 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 44
- 45
- 46
Kiss of Fire
Chapter 45 – Reunion
o0o0o0o
Katara
I felt my eyes brim with tears and blinked them back as Suki hugged me tightly. I was unable to keep a sob from escaping my throat, and I felt her rub my back. It felt so good to have someone hold and hug me.
After several minutes, we parted. I wiped my eyes with the edge of my cloak. How well I now remembered my days in Kyoshi, giggling over Sokka in his Kyoshi garb and learning how to use a fan as I trained with them. We hadn't known one another for that long back then, but we had formed a mutual like and respect for one another. After all, this was a warrior girl – in the cities of the Northern and Southern Water Tribes, it was the men who was taught to fight. Suki and her girls had been a refreshing change of scenery.
“Why don't I take you home with me?” she asked as she rubbed my arms.
“But what about Sokka...?” Shouldn't he be told first? I didn't want to just show up and shock him.
“He's on a trip to the South. He's not supposed to be back for another couple of days, so it's just me and my two younger ones.”
“You sure it's fine if I stay with you?”
“Of course! You're my sister-in-law and friend. You're staying with me, no arguments.”
“Okay. I won't argue.” I gave her a wavering smile. Whatever Suki had to shop for, it apparently wasn't that important because she did not linger.
“I assume that you do not wish people to know who you are?”
“Of course. The last thing I want to do is draw attention to myself.”
“That's what I thought. Come on.”
We came to a comfortable-looking house with a well-maintained yard. I saw several chickens off to one side, and a vegetable garden. Several practice dummies and posts sat at the other side. While the property had trees surrounding it, I could see the ocean through the trees, and inhaled the scent of the sea. In Sozun, confined behind the walls of the dormant volcano, I was lucky if an ocean breeze managed to make its way past the barrier.
I couldn't complain about the comfortable life that Zuko kept me in, but there were a few things that all the luxuries in the world could never replace.
“I'll introduce you to Yoshi and Kaya as a friend of mine. Do you wish me to use your original name?”
I paused. Should I just use Katara here in the village, where nobody would know who I was? I shook my head.
“Why don't we use... Yaguda.” Using the name of my old healing teacher at the North Pole felt appropriate, and it was a normal enough Water Tribe name. Suki nodded before she opened the door, revealing a large front room, various Water Tribe decorations and hangings adorning the walls. The room had a comfortable and homey feel to it, with several chairs draped in cloth and white fur on the southern side of the room while I spied a few articles of culinary paraphernalia alongside a table with stools at the other side of the room. I could see many happy family moments being spent in here, around the table, amongst the chairs or around the hearth. A thick fur pelt adorned the floor in front of the hearth, and I could imagine children nestling down on it when listening to their parents telling a story, or my brother and his wife snuggling on it. Stairs in the back of the room led to the second floor, and an open door near it gave me a glimpse into the kitchen.
“Mama!” A young girl no older than five or six years old emerged from the kitchen, bearing the classic Water Tribe features of blue eyes and dark skin. Suki smiled and opened her arms, sweeping her daughter up into a tight embrace.
“Yaguda, meet my daughter, Kaya.” The name brought a fresh pang of bittersweet pain through my heart as I thought of my mother. She set her daughter down as Kaya peered at me with open curiosity.
“Hello.” I smiled down at her. “It's nice to meet you.”
“Hi.” She beamed a wide, friendly smile up at me.
“She will be staying with us for a few days. Go get your brother.”
She skipped back into the kitchen and I glanced at Suki.
“She's adorable.”
“That's what everyone says.” She smiled faintly. “Sokka says that... you looked like her when you were her age.”
I let out a faint sigh, not even aware that I had been holding my breath. Oh, Sokka. I was nervous about seeing him again, and was glad that he wasn't here right now. It would be too much for me, honestly.
Kaya returned to the front room, accompanied by a boy that looked a couple of years older than her. Like his mother, he was fair-skinned and auburn-haired, and had the vivid blue eyes both of his parents had. I could not help but be reminded of Kuzon as he looked up at me with curiosity.
“This is Yoshi. Yoshi, meet my good friend Yaguda.”
“Welcome to our home, Yaguda.”
“You have such good manners.” I gave him a smile before turning back to Suki. “Good parents, good kids, right?”
Suki smiled back, her eyes twinkling with approval and appreciation.
“Have you finished what I asked?”
“Almost.”
“Then why don't you and your sister go back to your chores. You can play when you're done.”
“Yes, Mom.” Yoshi led Kaya back to the kitchen.
“Yoshi reminds me of Kuzon.” I murmured.
“What does Zuko think about you being here? He... doesn't know, does he?” She eyed me analytically. I sighed and nodded.
“I just wanted to come here. I didn't want to be surrounded be guards. I want to live a normal life for a bit and to not have interference. Plus... I was not sure if he would say yes.”
“Won't he be angry?” She placed her hand on my shoulder.
“Yes. But I didn't just disappear, I wouldn't do that. I left him a letter. So he knows I'm safe. I'll go back to him in a while.” I assured her.
“But you didn't tell him where you went?”
I looked down at the floor.
“Oh, Katara...”
“I don't want to talk about him, okay?”
“... Very well. Let's go upstairs. I'm sure you want to unload your baggage.”
I smiled faintly and nodded. When I came to Ember Island, I had trunks full of fine clothing, toiletries, and assorted items for my comfort or amusement. When I left Ember Island, I had nothing but the clothing I wore and a large backpack. Mostly I had packed several changes of clothes, a few weapons, and money and a bit of jewelry along with a sewing kit and a few other things to take care of myself with. In the privacy of my cabin on the ship, I sewed money into my clothes and underwear. My weapons came with sheaths and holsters, so I could strap a dagger to my thigh or to my chest. Fortunately, I did not have to use these weapons during my journey. The memory of my travels with the Avatar had served me very well. Without these memories, I would have been lost. But my bag was still heavy, and I was glad to unload it.
We climbed up the stairs, coming into a hallway that ran the entire length of the house, with a couple of doors on either side and an open area to my left with a small table and a couple of chairs, a shelf running along the wall opposite the steps and several Water Tribe hangings on the walls of this comfortable nook.
“We have a training room up here. You can sleep in it.”
“You don't mind?”
“Not at all.” She turned towards me, pausing in her steps. “Please don't feel out of place or that you're a strain on my hospitality. You're welcome here, and I want you to enjoy your stay. Perhaps you could work with Kaya and Yoshi on their Waterbending?”
I stared at her for a moment. “They're Waterbenders?” I felt my heart leap with joy. More Waterbenders being born to our tribe... I felt a pang at the memory of Hama, but quickly returned to the present. Suki beamed, nodding.
“Of course, I would be happy to spend time with them! What about your oldest child?”
“Hakoda doesn't have any Bending ability, but he's turning out to be a fine warrior like his father.”
“Sokka must be delighted.”
“Naturally.” We laughed a bit as she led me down the hall, opening the door to reveal a modest-sized and for the most part, plain room. There was a large mat on the floor and several hangings on the wall, of both Kyoshian and Water Tribe origin. Out of a cabinet next to the door she pulled out several comforters, and I quickly dropped my bag, hastening to her side. We unfolded them and arranged them in the corner of the room before she pulled out a couple of pillows.
“There's extra comforters in there, it gets cold at night. And you can put your things in here too. You'll have privacy in here.”
“Thanks so much. I appreciate it.”
“No problem. Why don't we go back downstairs? It's almost time for supper.”
“Can I help?”
“Of course.”
My memories of life in the village of the Southern Water Tribe and my travels enabled me to be an effective helper in the kitchen, though between the two of us, there wasn't that much work to be done apiece. Yoshi and Kaya had been shelling some vegetables as part of their chores, so dinner was completed in short order. It wasn't the spicy gourmet cuisine I had become used to as Fire Lady, but the homemade simplicity of Suki's food reassured me. There were no servants hovering about to attend to me when I ate. It felt a bit weird after the time I spent in Sozun, but I was happy to live a normal life, at least for a bit. As I ate, I glanced at the head of the table, where my brother's chair sat empty.
I had been comfortable going to Suki because she had figured out who I was when she had come to Sozun. But my brother... how would he react? Would it be a better idea if I left before he came back? I thought about Suki and Toph and how they had acted around me in Sozun. And Kamas... he had known me only briefly in my past life, so I was unsure if he made a connection between Miumi and Katara, but he had always been very respectful and kind to me. Jeong Jeong... well, I honestly had no clue. He never gave any indication that he suspected, if he even did.
It was so weird. Why did I remember my past life? Even before I was fully aware, there were the dreams, and the memory-flashes I experienced during the day. Weren't resurrections supposed to wipe the slate entirely clean? Granted, the Avatar could access the memories of his or her predecessors, but that was because he was the Avatar, for goodness sake!
Surely Aang would be able to answer that question.
After supper, I played some go with Yoshi and Kaya, getting to know my nephew and niece better as I chatted with them. When asked questions about myself, I responded with details from both lives, mixing and matching at my convenience to create a plausible story the children would accept. Suki listened, and I saw her raise her eyebrow a couple of times with curiosity, but she did not challenge me, and agreed with whatever I said.
Finally, it was time for bed. I yawned, being just as tired as they were if not more. I hadn't eaten well after my miscarriage, and though I knew I should take care of myself, my worries gnawed away at my appetite. Thinking about my encounter with Aang added no small amount of stress to the thought of how angry Zuko would be over this situation. I had even thought about turning back, but I had come too far.
After the children were put to bed, I decided it was time to talk to Suki. It felt a bit awkward, she was certain to wonder why I wanted to see him so much. She didn't know what had happened all these years ago, and I certainly had no desire to get into it.
“Is the Avatar here in Kyoshi at this time?” I asked. A small part of me hoped she might say no. Despite all the thinking I had done about Aang and myself, I had absolutely no idea what I might say to him. Sure, there were lots of different things I could say, and I had rehearsed them in my mind.
“Today's your lucky day.” She smiled at me, and I managed to smile back.
“How did you remember us?” she asked. I let out a low sigh, the painful memories of that night flashing before my eyes. I felt her hand on my arm.
“Did something bad happen?” Her concern was evident in her tone.
“I don't want to talk about it.” I looked down at my hands.
“Are you sure? You didn't eat much today. Have you been taking care of yourself?”
“I've... just been through a lot.”
She stared at me, scrutiny clear on her features as she studied me. “What happened? Did Zuko do something...”
“No!” I gasped softly. Granted, he shouldn't have read my journal and he should have been honest with me, but he hadn't done that to be cruel, and he never would have tried to hurt me or our child. “It's not like that. He would never hurt me. It's just... my memories had been coming back in tiny little bits, and then suddenly... I remembered everything. It was overwhelming. I need to see the Avatar. I... think he brought me back, and that's why I remember. Because nobody besides the Avatar is supposed to know of past lives, right?”
“That does make sense. I wondered if you recognized me back then.”
“I did... I just didn't know why. I had the weirdest feeling that I had met and been friends with you, but that made no sense...”
“I can imagine. Look, you're tired. Why don't you go to bed, but I'll make us some tea first? I still have some of the tea I got in Sozun.”
“Sounds good.” It would be comforting to have a bit of Fire Nation flavor. If there was one thing to be said, it was that the teas in Fire Nation were bar none. As Suki went to the kitchen to put on some hot water, I thought of Iroh. Had he still been alive, things would have been very different. He probably would have told me who I really was. According to Zuko, his last years had been happy.
We shared our tea in silence, bundled up in warm robes and seated next to the waning fire.
“You look nervous about seeing Aang.” she commented as we were finishing our tea.
“I am. I mean... I had no problem coming to you because you knew who I was, but Sokka and Aang think I am dead and... I wonder if I should have come here. Should I have just let things be?”
“No, I'm glad you came here. Sokka and Aang took your death really hard. And I was shocked to hear what Azula had done. I had been hoping that we would come to the end of the war without any casualties, but Azula had been cruel to me and my girls...”
“I heard.” I replied quietly.
“I almost died. Fortunately, right after he became Fire Lord Zuko ordered the prisoners of war released and treated wherever necessary. The royal physician was a good man.”
“Yan Jue Sylid?”
“None other than. But I'll never forget how sad your father and brother looked on the way home. Aang too, and Bato. It was really hard seeing your casket.” Her voice choked up, and I reached out to give her a hug.
“I'm here now.” I whispered as I squeezed her. We pulled away after several moments.
“I'll talk to Sokka when he comes home, but you definitely should see Aang tomorrow. I'll come with you, if you want.”
“I think I need to do this myself.”
“That's fine.” She nodded. “I'll show you where he lives in the morning.”
“Sounds great. Thank you.”
“You're welcome. Hey, don't look so nervous.” She rubbed my shoulder. I nodded faintly. It was easy enough for her to say, she wasn't the one who had hurt him.
o0o0o0o
It was hard for me to fall asleep even though I was tired. I would see Aang tomorrow. Would he be happy to see me, or would he still be hurt and angry? Or would he have all but forgotten me, and moved on? I thought of the little girl I had seen in the village, with the big gray eyes and impish smile. Had he found a wife? I should have asked Suki that!
I lay there, bundled up in the comforters as I stared at the wall and thought about what I would say to my husband. He might be so angry he would chain me to my bed, but I was prepared to deal with that. He might be the mighty Fire Lord, but I wasn't going to ask his permission for every single damn thing I did, especially something like this.
A sudden squeak of a floorboard caught my attention, and I raised my head. Carefully, I wiggled over to the door to peer through it, and saw Kaya navigating the dark hallway, her hand on the wall to guide her.
“Kaya?” I whispered. I heard her gasp softly.
“Don't worry. I just wanted to make sure things were all right. What are you doing up so late?”
“I have to go...” She hesitated, sounding a little embarrassed. I instantly understood and smiled, getting to my feet and putting on my shoes before taking her hand. It was dark and cold, and a little girl shouldn't have to go outside by herself. I bundled her up in her coat and boots and took her outside to the privy.
“Thank you.” she said as we went back into the house. I nodded as I helped her out of her coat.
“I remember what it was like being little.” I reassured her.
“I don't like being so little.” She pouted.
“You won't always be little.”
“That's what Mama says. But I'm always the littlest. Everyone else in my family is bigger than me even though I'm bigger than I was last year.”
“I know it seems hard right now. There's not a lot you can do because of your size. But believe me, it's worth the wait. And being grown-up isn't always so good.”
“No way! Grown-ups can do whatever they want!”
“Nope, they can't.” I smiled faintly. I remember thinking the same way, envious of my parents or other adults because I had to go to sleep earlier than them, or stay in one place, such as the house or yard, or do as I was told, imagining the cool places that grown-ups went to or could do by themselves. “Adults have to follow rules, too. And they go to jail if they don't follow the rules. Children don't go to jail, they just get spanked or sent to their room.” Of course, children didn't rape or murder people or the like, but I certainly wasn't going to discuss that with my niece. “And children get to play a lot. When you grow up, you have responsibilities and duties.”
“I have chores.”
“We have chores too.” I responded gently as I led her up the stairs. “There are fun things about being a grown-up, but there's also fun in being a child. Sometimes I wish I was a little girl again. When you're a kid, you don't have to worry about responsibilities.” I squeezed her hand.
“One thing I do like is when Mama or Daddy take me into their arms and hug me or when Daddy lets me ride his back.”
“See? That's a good thing. Sometimes I wish I was little so someone could cuddle with me.” I smiled as I remembered my parents scooping me up into their arms or giving me piggy-back rides. “I'll tuck you in bed, okay? Why don't you take me to your room?”
“I don't want to go to my room. It's cold.” She pouted slightly.
“All right then. Would you like to sleep with me?”
“Yes, please!” We were whispering so we wouldn't wake up Suki or the boys, but I could hear her enthusiasm. She wasted no time wiggling into the cocoon I had made for myself with the comforters and snuggling up to me. I thought of the times I had slept with Kuzon, holding him close. I couldn't wait to see Kuzon again, and hoped that he wouldn't be too hurt by my departure. I hoped he would hold onto the comforting words I had whispered to him before my disappearance.
o0o0o0o
The Avatar's house was a comfortable-looking bungalow amidst a small complex overlooking the bay – the same bay where he had ridden the giant koi before being chased by the Unagi. I looked at the beach, feeling nostalgic as I remembered how Sokka and I had watched him ride the fish. He had been so enthusiastic, grinning happily as he frolicked in the cold water in his underwear. Would he have that same free spirit now, or had the years hardened him like they had Zuko? Suki had said he had no wife, and though he had acolytes, he lived in his house by himself, letting his children be raised by their mothers in family households. I could understand that, letting the children lead as normal of a life as possible. That little girl I had seen yesterday had certainly looked happy, and I had seen a gray-eyed boy this morning on my way here, playing with a couple of other boys. At least Aang was no longer the last Airbender.
I hesitated at the gate that opened onto a path that led up the small hill to his house, feeling my hands shake slightly. Several acolytes were outside, clad in yellow and orange, doing chores like sweeping the veranda or tending the gardens, or meditating, and regarded me with friendly smiles. The gardens I saw were neatly-maintained, and while the architecture was definitely Kyoshian, I saw the Ait Temple influence.
I was close to hyperventilating, and quickly switched to a quick meditation technique that my martial arts teacher had taught me. I almost wished I had let Suki come as a go-between, but was resolved to do this myself. However, that hadn't stopped Suki from hovering over me during breakfast, insisting that I eat more, as I had been so nervous that it had ruined my appetite.
Just do it and get it over with. He deserves it. I sighed quietly, squaring my shoulders and going through the gate. I had risked my husband's wrath, and I would not let my decision go for naught.
I got a better view of the house as I drew nearer. Many parts of it were reminiscent of the temples of the Air Nomads, though the entire structure actually wasn't much bigger than Sokka and Suki's house. The walls were smooth earth, with several conical roofs like the Temples did, and I guessed that Aang had used his Earthbending abilities to build it, since most of the houses in Kyoshi were wood. Around the building was a combination of smooth earth and certain areas devoted to meditation or Airbending training, along with a small garden. The surroundings spoke of one who lived in harmony with nature.
Would I be disrupting that harmony? I pondered this as I stared at the carved wooden door, my eyes moving along the curved symbols of air that were wrought into it. I ran my fingers along the design, admiring the elegant simplicity.
“Hello there.” I heard this greeting come from my right side, and turned my head, seeing no one. Had I imagined it?
“Come on around.” Was that Aang's voice? I swallowed thickly and turned away from the door, walking down the well-groomed footpath, feeling the nippy ocean breeze against my face. As I came around the building, I spotted a low table, and the Avatar was seated at it, his back to me. He must have learned some Earth-sight from Toph.
“What are you doing here?” His voice sounded polite and inquisitive, albeit a bit distant. I did not speak, wondering if he did know who I was or not.
“Don't be shy. All you have to do is tell me your name and why you're here.” He started to turn around, revealing a handsome profile. He was clad in a comfortable orange and yellow tunic and pants, his head shaved bald as it had been all these years ago, though a short beard now fringed his jaw and chin. I felt my breath hitch in my throat as he rose to his feet, now facing me. Goodness. My last memory of Aang had been a lanky, thirteen-year old boy with a head of short, messy black hair and a sweet little face with big gray eyes.
And now I was faced with a tall, handsome man, broad-shouldered but more slender than Zuko, his face calm and warm, his gray eyes no longer so big, but still vivid as he glanced at me. My chest felt tight and I thought I might faint.
“Welcome.” We still stood a distance from one another, and I stared at him quietly. “I see you're from the Water Tribes. Which one?” he asked as he studied my clothing. I was clad in a comfortable blue knee-length shirt and dark blue pants, along with a fur-lined coat borrowed from Suki after she had fished it out of Sokka's wardrobe. I still did not speak, and he glanced at me questioningly before drawing closer, stopping just a couple of paces away. He studied me with interest and curiosity before his eyebrows started to arch in confusion. He blinked and shook his head slowly, as if not believing what he thought he saw.
“Aang.” I wanted to reach out and hug him, but I was not sure how he might react to that.
“... Katara?” His tone was clearly one of shock, and I wondered if perhaps he really had nothing to do with how I had come into this life.
“Yes.”
Slowly, he raised his right hand. I could see it tremble as he reached out for me. I did not pull away as I felt his fingers brush against my cheek.
“I... is it really you? Katara...” he cupped my face, as if to make sure I was real. I touched his hand, squeezing it gently as I nodded, feeling the quiver of his palm against my cheek.
I could see the fierce mixture of emotions on his face and knew that he was feeling overwhelmed, so I did not speak. He certainly wasn't the only one! My pulse was racing as I stared into his eyes, and it felt as if we were staring at one another forever.
Suddenly, he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a tight embrace. I rested my head on his shoulders, fighting back tears as I wrapped my arms around his middle.
o0o0o0o
Avatar Aang
Katara. Katara. She was here, in my arms. Was this a dream? Would I wake up, only to face the reality that she was dead, just as I had done on so many mornings?
I had carried so much regret all these years. I hadn't been there to protect her. Oh, spirits. When I had arrived in Sozun with the Order of the White Lotus and the defeated Fire Lord in tow, I had expected a reunion with Katara, to be able to mend things between us. And when Zuko had informed me that she was dead...
All these years, I had longed to see her again. She was the best friend I had ever had. I loved her, and still did. I even went to the Spirit World to try to find her, but she had been nowhere to be found. I feared that she was lost to me forever. And that made it even worse. I had tried to be happy with others, but no matter how eager women were to have my attention, I always felt empty. It was as if I was no longer Aang, but the Avatar, here to restore balance to the world, nothing more. I had a duty to fulfill, whether or not Katara was here. I had started a new order of acolytes, with the plan to move them to the nearest Air Temple in time. I also had a new generation of Airbenders to raise and instruct, and a world to watch over.
Guru Pathik had told me to let go of my worldly attachments. I tried my best. I immersed myself into my duties, and tried to forget the happiness I had shared with the Waterbender I loved. But having Katara here brought all my old memories – and feelings – rushing back.
I hugged her tightly, wanting to never let go.
o0o0o0o
Katara
I finally pulled away, gently easing myself from his grip.
“Katara... how did you...”
“I thought you knew.” I replied softly. “You're the Avatar, connected to the Spirit World. Wasn't it you who brought me back?” If it wasn't Aang, then who or what was responsible for this?
“Oh, believe me, I had that idea. But...”
“But what?”
“You weren't in the Spirit World.”
“Oh.” I looked down, tapping my chin.
“But does it matter? I mean, you're here. You're... alive!”
I did not respond, and could only stare at his exuberant face.
“Is something wrong?” He glanced at me with concern. “Hey. You look a little sick. Have you been eating?”
“Don't fuss over me, I got enough of that from Suki this morning.”
“You come here after all this time, how can you expect people to not fuss over you?”
“Aang...”
“Please. Have lunch with me.”
“Only if you promise to not hover over me and try to feed me.”
“I'll try.” He smiled faintly, obviously still overwhelmed by my presence.
The food that he had wasn't much different from what Suki or the other Kyoshians ate. I sat at the table as he cooked tofu and vegetables – insisting that I sit down and relax instead of helping him as I had helped Suki – and took the time to study the room I was in. What I had seen of his house was obviously constructed to feel large and airy, with high ceilings and windows, the furnishings functional and comfortable.
It felt so weird to be here. I was actually in the house of the Avatar, the boy – now man – that I had not seen for twenty years. I had been so sure that he was the one responsible for my situation, and to hear that he had tried to find me in the Spirit World and had no luck intrigued me more. It could just be pure chance. What would have happened to me if Zuko had not found me in Omashu? Would I have ever been able to remember my life as Katara on my own?
Despite the conflicts that had existed in the past between Zuko and myself, I was happy to be his wife. Unconsciously, my hand trailed up to touch my chest. When I was little, I had felt ashamed of my birthmark, wondering what my potential husbands might say if they saw that I was marred in such a way. But now I was proud to bear that mark. I was happy to finally remember my past life, even if it hurt at times.
“You okay?” Aang's gentle tone snapped me out of my reverie as he set the dishes down, steam rising from the stir-fried tofu and vegetables. With this was rice and fruit juice.
“Yeah.” I dropped my hand as I caught him glancing at me with curiosity. If there was one thing I would not do today, it was mentioning Zuko. Aang looked so happy to see me, I would not spoil it by mentioning my husband, at least for the time being. So I concentrated on my meal, placing a modest portion of food on my plate and forcing bite after bite into my mouth, washing it down at intervals with the juice. Thankfully, Aang didn't press me with questions, but I could feel his stare as I ate. Finally, I had to break the silence.
“Where's Momo? I'd think she'd want some lunch.” I said, remembering how she would join us for lunch, going from person to person, wanting us to share our food.
“Lemurs don't live that long.” he replied with a wistful smile.
“Oh. Sorry.”
“Don't be sorry. Appa's still here, though. We could go for a ride later, if you want.”
“Now that sounds like fun.” I smiled faintly, glad for a distraction. We lapsed back into silence for the rest of the meal as I managed to finish the rest of my food. Aang and Suki were right, I did need to eat more, it was just hard to want to eat when the stress had ruined my appetite. When I started to help him clear the dishes, he shook his head and insisted that I relax. Again, I let my mind wander until he sat down with tea for us.
“Are you warm, comfortable?” he asked, obviously eager to please.
“Aang, it's okay. I'm fine.” The fire in the hearth burned cheerily, filling the room with warmth. “Look... I came here to see you. I...” I swallowed thickly.
“Katara...”
“I wanted to say that... I'm sorry for what happened. I never wanted to hurt you, and I wish that things could have turned out differently between us. Can you ever forgive me?”
“I already did.” His expression was gentle as he looked at me. “I know you didn't do it to hurt me. You're not that kind of person. That didn't stop it from hurting, though, when I saw you with Zuko.”
“I'm sorry.” I looked down, drumming my fingers against the table.
“You already said that. What's past is past. Please don't beat yourself up over it.” He sounded so... wise and mature. “You've been given a new start in life.”
I nodded slowly. I couldn't complain too much about this life. I had a father and stepmother who cared for me, and had an overall comfortable and happy childhood.
“What happened to you, Katara? You look like you've been through a lot.”
“I have.” I glanced at his face for a moment before looking down again, fiddling with my teacup. “I... through my life, I mean, this one, I would sometimes have a bit of flashback or memory, but then I couldn't remember it... but then a while ago, I started remembering them... and having them more often. I remembered you back then and wondered how it was possible. I was so confused.”
“I can imagine.” He smiled at me, his eyes full of understanding.
“No doubt.” I smiled back at him. “At least I only had one life to remember. You have thousands.”
“So... how did you remember it all?” he asked. I stiffened.
“That's not something I want to talk about.”
“If you're in trouble... I can keep you safe.”
“Oh no, it's not that. I'm not a criminal or anything!” I laughed weakly.
“It's hard to imagine you as a criminal.”
“I would hope so.” I shot back dryly. I sipped the tea, welcoming its warmth, holding onto the cup tightly and letting its heat seep into my fingers. “So... this is a nice place you have here. I'm guessing you built it?” I asked, to divert the topic away from myself.
“Not hard to do when you can command the four elements.” he smiled. I nodded. Earthbenders were noted for their mastery of earth and could raise huge walls and pillars. Firebenders could bake bricks or other building materials, using the heat to harden or refine certain components within the mixture, as well as fire glass and metal. I had watched the Palace artisans blow glass, and it was incredibly fascinating. With a combination of Fire and Earthbending, any structure could be made very sturdy and sound.
“It suits you well. I thought of the Air Temples as I was looking at the exterior. It looks so peaceful.” I said, thinking of the spectacular view of the bay. “It must be a wonderful spot for meditation, or Airbending.”
“It is. The children also like it here.”
“How does it feel? To be a dad?” I asked gently. He smiled and sighed gently.
“It feels a little weird. I mean... I love my kids. I want what is best for them. But I have to decide what to do about their future. I don't want to go back to the exact same old ways of the monks and nuns. But at the same time, there were some positive aspects of that lifestyle. I just want what's best for them, you know.”
I nodded slowly. “You could always take what you like from your culture and add new things to it. I'm sure you will figure something out. The Kyoshians seem very eager to help you.”
“They have been... great.” His smile seemed forced. I could only imagine what it felt like to be a stud, to father all these children but have no wife at his side, simply because he needed to restore the balance to the world. I did not envy his position.
“It can't be easy. But you're doing what you have to. And I'll say one thing – I saw a couple of your kids, and they're adorable. They remind me of you... back then. With their big gray eyes and their smiles.”
He sighed softly and nodded. I rose from my seat and went around the table, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and hugging him tightly.
“I know the life of an Avatar isn't easy.” I whispered, trying to comfort him. “I could see that back then. I could see the weight of the world on your shoulders. I can still see it.” I remembered all too well the anger and hurt on his face when he had found all the corpses of the Airbenders at the Southern Air Temple. It was unfair that the sweet, fun-loving kid I had known had to deal with all of the stress and pain that came with his duties.
“Oh, Katara.” I felt him bury his face against my shoulder, and I whispered reassuringly, rubbing his back and swaying back and forth gently to comfort him.
“It's okay. You've done a wonderful job as the Avatar. You should be proud of yourself. You're helping to maintain the peace in this world. And thanks to you, the Air Nomads won't go extinct.” I reminded him of the positive things. “Gyatso would be proud of you.”
I felt him shudder under my embrace, and realized he was trying to not cry.
“Aang, if you want to cry, go ahead. Sometimes you just need to let go.” I continued to rub his back, comforting him much as I would comfort Kuzon, feeling very maternal as I held the Avatar. “I'm here for you.”
A strangled sob escaped his throat, and I held him patiently as he cried against my shirt. I felt his bald pate against my cheek, and leaned my head against his, continuing to rock back and forth gently. I might have been through a lot, but I had nothing on the Avatar. I remained silent, simply holding him as his tears fell on my shirt.
After a while, he lifted his head, sniffling softly. I looked up at him before gently wiping his tears with the sleeve of my shirt.
o0o0o0o
Avatar Aang
After she died, I had to swallow all my emotions and focus on my duties. I couldn't remember the last time I had cried. Katara had been the only person to ever truly comfort me, like a mother would. I knew that I could talk to her any time, and she would listen to me. After she died, there had been no one to talk to, and I had to keep it all bottled up inside. Just because I was an adult didn't mean it was easy. It felt good to let go for once, and do it in Katara's arms, like I had done so long ago.
She was looking at me with that sweet, compassionate expression she used to have whenever she was comforting me. It felt so good to have her attention and reassurance. I felt her hands on my shoulders, rubbing gently as I caught my breath, collecting myself as I savored her presence. It was amazing how good expressing my feelings could be.
“I'm glad you're here.” I whispered. She smiled and squeezed my shoulders.
“I can see that. I'm glad I came here. Before, I wasn't sure. I thought you might be angry or...” She sighed quietly and shook her head.
“No, no. Believe me, I'm glad you're here, and I forgave you a long time ago. Don't worry about it. Let's just... enjoy our time together, okay?”
“Like we used to, right?” she asked with a soft smile. I nodded.
“Katara... I had other friends back then. Before I became frozen. But you were the best friend I ever had. You were fun to be with and I could talk to you. I would have been so lost without you, especially when you would listen to me and comfort me. I never could talk to anyone else the way I talked to you, not even Bumi or Kuzon.”
“You mean, you've kept it inside all these years? There was no one to talk to? Not even Sokka?” She sounded surprised. I shrugged and shook my head.
“I thought it was easier to just keep it all bottled up and just focus on my duties.”
“But it isn't.” she replied. Her knowing expression told me that she had experienced the same feeling. I wondered what she had to keep bottled up about. What had her current life been like?
“What happened to you? I can't imagine you needing to contain your feelings.” I could not help but ask. I saw sadness flash through her eyes.
“I really don't want to talk about it.” she replied quietly.
“Why not? I mean, if I can talk to you, why can't you talk to me? I'll listen to you and hold you.”
“I appreciate that. But I don't want to get into all that right now. We'll talk later, okay?”
“Promise you'll tell me?”
“Promise.” She nodded slowly. “Just.... give me a few days, okay?”
“Okay.” I smiled, feeling reassured. I had been worried when she said she didn't want to talk to me, as if she was afraid. But if she needed time, sure I could understand that.
“I have an idea. Why don't we go for a walk? We don't have to talk. We can just... enjoy ourselves, like we did before.”
“Sounds good.”
“Wonderful.” She flashed me a brilliant smile, and I felt my heart skip a beat. She pulled away from me, picking up her parka. That parka seemed familiar, as if I had seen it before. It was a mostly plain one, with three white tails of fur down the front. She unfolded it and shook it out before starting to lift it over her head. I saw a flash of something as she stood there in the afternoon sun filtering in through the windows and approached her, craning my neck to see the glint of red and blue just below her neck, peeking from the folds of her shirt.
“What's that?” I asked, pointing. She blinked before glancing down, her eyes widening in understanding.
“Oh! It was... a gift.” She quickly pulled the parka over her head. “Come on, let's go. You said I looked sick before, right? Sick people need fresh air.”
“All right.”
o0o0o0o
Katara
We spent the walk in silence, and I excused myself after it was over. I needed time to myself to process what had happened between both of us, and I knew he needed the same. I could see in his eyes that he wanted me to stay longer, but I was feeling overwhelmed.
I promised him that I would see him again tomorrow, and welcomed the distraction of giving Yoshi and Kaya Waterbending instruction and spending time with Suki. My reunion with Aang had gone better than I expected, and I was immensely thankful for that. I didn't look forward to telling him about Zuko, though.
I looked down, smiling as Kaya snuggled up to me, safely ensconced under my comforters. She looked so sweet and peaceful, like Kuzon. Gently, I ran my fingers along her plump little cheek before touching her loosely-balled fists, marveling how small her hands were compared to my own. It made me marvel to think that all of us had once been so small and innocent and so... adorable.
I tried to fall asleep, but I couldn't. I was too restless, and had too many thoughts pouring through my head. I needed to distract myself, and knew just want I had to do. Carefully, I wiggled out of the blankets, hushing Kaya gently and soothing her back to sleep before getting dressed.
o0o0o0o
Avatar Aang
I couldn't stop thinking about Katara, and tossed and turned in my bed as I tried to sleep. I tried to meditate, and even went outside to do some Bending. It was cold, but at least that provided a slight distraction, and I let out a slow exhale, seeing my breath in the air as I shivered slightly.
I thought of all the things I could say to her tomorrow. I wanted her to stay with me. I'd keep her protected from whatever it was that hurt her. Zuko had won her affection all these years ago, but now he wasn't around. I sure as hell wasn't going to say that it was a good thing Katara died. Nobody should die. But I was definitely happy to have her here. I wish the panda-lilies were in season so I could pick her a bouquet.
I climbed up the slope to the cliffs, looking down at the bay. Sometimes I liked sitting at the cliff's edge and look down at the bay, watching the waves crash against the rocks and beach. There was someone down on the beach, and I smiled a bit when I recognized Katara. I was tempted to go down there and talk to her, but I sat down silently and watched her Bend, skillfully manipulating the water that moved around her in several long, thick whips. I squinted, seeing a serene look on her face as she turned around slowly, sweeping her arms through the air languidly. I had seen this several times before, when she wanted to be alone, using Waterbending as a form of meditation, and I was content to leave her be and enjoy the show.
She looked beautiful, like she always did when she was Waterbending. I watched with a soft smile on my face.
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Kiss of Fire