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Watermelon Snow
By : pronker
Category: +M through R > Penguins of Madagascar
Views: 2672 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0Disclaimer: I make no profit from this fanfiction using the Penguins of Madagascar characters owned by Dreamworks. -
Chapter List
- 1-Watermelon Snow
- 2-2/50
- 3-3/50
- 4-4/50
- 5-5/50
- 6-6/50
- 7-7/50
- 8-8/50
- 9-9/50
- 10-10/50
- 11-11/50
- 12-12/50
- 13-13/50
- 14-14/50
- 15-15/50
- 16-16/50
- 17-17/50
- 18-18/50
- 19-19/50
- 20-20/50
- 21-21/50
- 22-22/50
- 23-23/50
- 24-24/50
- 25-17-18/50 SLASH INTERLUDE BETWEEN CH. 17 AND 18. AU ON 'WATERMELON SNOW'
- 26-24A/50 SLASH VERSION OF CH. 24 FOR KICKS AND GIGGLES *** AU ***
- 27-25/50
- 28-26/50
- 29-27/50
- 30-28/50
- 31-29/50
- 32-30/50
- 33-31/50
- 34-32/50
- 35-33/50
- 36-34/50
- 37-35/50
- 38-36/50
- 39-37/50
- 40-38/50
- 41-39/50
- 42-40/50
- 43-41/50
- 44-42/50
- 45-43/50
- 46-44/50
- 47-45/50
- 48-46/50
- 49-47/50
- 50-48/50
- 51-49/50
- 52-50/51
- 53-51/51
Sasquatch leaked serenity as much as Ole had as she approached the penguins after her devotion. If he had been in a better mood, Skipper would have remarked on the resemblance, but as it was he flailed his flippers before rounding on her. "Your fault, Sasquatch, that I'm not up to snuff and can't slide or swim or damn well zip line to where Blowhole is holed up and need to be boosted after being fed like a braaping baby for days and days along with, well, you can just guess other humiliating things --- "
She sustained her calm as she crossed her arms and legs before accordioning into a lotus position in the pinkish snow. Skipper spewed the ball of indignation from the past two weeks as he lofted the sphere down the alley to pick up a seven-ten split. She waited until he ran out of wind.
" --- braaping --- liability to the team --- goldbrick --- " Skipper spun on his heel to grab a drink of water from the moat.
She faced the less disturbing penguins. "So. What happened to set off this avalanche in the eight hundred heartbeats from when I got here until now?"
Private remembered how she kicked him off Kastelholm. "He's jolly well right to --- "
Rico remembered how she had ruined Private's first March and growled, "Why I odda --- "
Dr. Phil. Remember Dr. Phil. Kowalski scrambled to save the sasquatch-penguin detente. "We're delayed two days until our plan resumes. The quickest way from A to B is not always at the most feverish pace. You can be right, or you can be happy, but you can't be both. I want you to get excited about your life. Never put more into a relationship than you can afford to lose." What would sound most profound to her? "Get real."
It worked and she nodded gravely. "I see. You all have anger issues with me because you're delayed. Does this mean you have changed your minds about helping?"
Kowalski threw in something that Prince Sharesalot might say. "If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies." It was easier to speak with her as her calm eroded around the edges.
"Wait, does that mean that you won't help Hugo and me?"
Skipper wiped his beak after returning. He sat in the snow beside her. "My word is my bond. We'll help you both. I'm upset about the delay. I hate waiting."
"Why?"
"Why? Because it's a waste of time."
"We're given so much time and no more. It's like that for everyone. You can spend time but not waste it."
"Well then, I've just had enough of spending time waiting for action until I felt better. Haven't you ever had enough of something?"
She undid her arms and examined her nails. "I have. It's why I went to that dive in Hetauda. After enough raksi, Blowhole's plan about saving my kind from extinction sounded rational. I still think it is. I just don't want to do what it takes to be part of it."
"So you have no principles, then? Just willin' and not willin' to do this and that? How do you bleedin' live with yourself?" Private assumed he'd get disciplinary action for this, but there was no lutfisk around so he didn't care.
"Survival of the herd is my principle." Sasquatch huffed after a moment. "Aren't you going to do something about your calf?"
Skipper blinked. "Huh? He's not my --- "
"It takes a herd to raise a calf. Everyone pitches in and we push them into the middle of the herd when there's danger and we wallop their bootys when they mouth off. Well?" She made a spanking motion.
"Look, lady, you know zip about penguin commandos. He's not mine, I'm just his commanding officer and he's all grown up so no rump whomping except in a macho sports team kind of way."
Rico fidgeted. "'Kippppaaaah."
"Hold on unless it's urgent. Is it?"
"Nuh-uh."
"Then I'll continue setting Sasquatch straight. This unit helps animals and yeah, humans on the down low. We four are not related, I'm not anyone's father, but we are brothers as deep as blood ties could make us. We've lost team members that we'll never forget. We. Are. The. Penguins. Get it?"
"Got it."
"Good."
"'Kippaaahhh."
"Spill it, soldier." Rico did. "A telescope? Where --- this is Ole's, right?"
"Uh huh. Ndr rozbsh by Ah-kwatch."
"Who's Ole?" Sasquatch leaned back on her elbows to a comfortable sprawl after absorbing the information that this was not a patriarchal herd led by a staunch father. She had wondered about the lack of females in the group. Life would have been almighty cruel to take every one of their mates.
"Ole was a rat we met here. He's dead now."
Skipper gave the telescope to Private, who turned it over and over with a somber expression. "He was a peaceful fellow who died like a, a, rat in a trap. He didn't deserve dyin' in any way, shape or form."
Sasquatch rolled to her side and curled up in the snow. She played with her chest hair absently. "The rat who chatted me up was Norwegian. I didn't have time for that and he quit trying. He started out blethering about stars and then led the spiel into living in peace, you know how some animals grab your fur and get in your face when you're too polite. I stopped being polite a long time ago."
"It was the same rat. He told us he'd tried to speak with you. Private, stow the telescope in the corner by Faux Me. We've got precious little materiel up here and it may come in handy."
"Ah, and Foamy is --- ?"
"Not in the mood for chatting, Sasquatch. We'll be in touch." Something about Ole's character seeped into Skipper's mien. "You did well tonight, no matter what. We'll see what develops over the next two days."
Sasquatch arose. "There's nothing I can do to make you feel better."
"You would if you could in principle. It would be in your best interest."
Kowalski ruminated on what Dr. Phil said about welcome changes of subject. "Sir, fog is coming in and by dawn we'll be lucky to see the beaks in front of our faces."
Sasquatch headed for the isthmus on large, quiet feet. "I'm leaving. Sorry about your friend dying."
Private blurted, "There's more to animals than friend or enemy. There's just bein' decent and, and respectful like Princess Self-Respectra says --- "
"Call to quarters, men." By the time Skipper took a last recon before heading down the ramp, Sasquatch had disappeared into the silvery stillness.
IOIOIOIOIO
To Private's surprise the next morning, Skipper made no mention of the way his youngest team member's beak ran away with him. In fact, the four went back to bed after breakfast smelts that wafted eerily through the fog from their unseen keeper. Right around noonish Skipper sent Rico to scout for guests and he returned making large zeroes with his flippers. The commander kept a weather eye out for cabin fever as hours passed in glum silence as he seemed to table exercising in favor of brooding.
With the downtime came reminiscences in late afternoon. As often was the case, the four hunkered down in front of the electronic hearth that was the TV without the set actually being on. Skipper needed drawing out, Rico figured, so he began their bull session by slapping Kowalski's butt rhythmically.
"So it's like that, is it, Rico?" Kowalski kept up the Bavarian pattern in turn and since they were both sitting, their bottom slap dance was more of the cuff-tailfeathers-and-thighs variety. It served to make Private snicker while Skipper watched impassively.
"Crikey, Classified and his bunch came through in the end." Private assumed a sly air. "Eva was a crashin' big part of comin' to help us and K'walski in particular, I'd wager."
Kowalski smiled at the memory before crossing his flippers over his chest. "One kiss does not a relationship make, Private."
"Wot does?"
"Years. Years and years, ups and downs, give and take, seasons in it like spring and summer and Antarctic winter. And then it's spring again and you never know where you stand and it's grand adventure sailing the waters."
"Sounds like you'd get bloomin' seasick."
"That's the glory of it."
"It's too much. I'm not ready."
"You will be. You'll have a Doris or Eva in your life."
Private's sure instincts as unofficial morale officer said to lighten things up. "As long as it's not a Blue Hen."
"Urk." Kowalski swallowed wrong and by the time he'd recovered, Rico had nodded and put a more goofy expression on than Rico-Normal to resemble Shelly's lovelorn look. "Yeah, there's unwanted attention, too." He brightened. "All part of romance, Private. It's worth it, worth more."
Skipper got up to secure a cup of coffee, still silent.
Private gave up on the indirect approach as he stretched and stood. "I wish we had the north wind at our back, Skippa."
"They are around somewhere and if things come to a not-so-pretty pass, we'll do our best to contact them for help against Blowhole, Private. Are you doubting your team's ability to --"
"Wot I meant was the breeze. The fog is so still that it gives me the collywobbles and it must look out there like the Eternally Foggy Sea. I don't fancy not bein' able to see far." He looked unhappy. "And the sounds comin' from every whichaway I hate."
"Come here." Skipper put down his coffee and snagged the young penguin's head under his flipper. He groomed Private's face including anointing his eyes with the preening oil. "Remember Rico's briefing on this technique a few days back --- actually it was Kowalski's interpretation of Rico's briefing but let's not quibble --- and the effect won't last long, but it'll help you see better because of the snowcones or something in our eyes." He winked at Private before releasing him. "If you want a better explanation, ask the Science Guy and prepare to be bombarded with Tee Em Eye."
"Sir, I can hear you."
"I know you can."
Kowalski wouldn't take this lying down. He loomed his greater height over his leader to back him in the corner up against Faux Skipper and the real Skipper backpedaled in a good-natured way. The tension in the quarters amped up from frustration over the delay to confront Blowhole and the lack of performing for guests added to their need for physical release. Skipper's grin faded as Kowalski pressed harder to invade his personal space. Beak to beak, Command Division glowered at Science Division and until Rico whispered his plan to Private, the young penguin feared that a true fight would break out despite them all being friends.
"Rvrdaaaaants!" Rico spun like a Texas twister before shoving Faux Skipper between the two would-be pugilists. He thrust Skipper's mighty righty into the nook of Faux Skipper's left pliable plastic flipper that was forever in akimbo position. He nodded at Private, who shoved Kowalski's left Part A into Faux Skipper's right Slot B, grabbed Kowalski's right flipper with his own left one and set off dancing. An appropriate phrase bubbled up and he blurted it out.
"Erin go bragh!"
Rico commenced the riveting dance moves on his end and they proved contagious. After a jerky start, the four pranced like their lives depended on performing the energy-draining steps as Faux Skipper kept up effortlessly. Five minutes later, Flesh-And-Pint-Low-On-Blood Skipper dropped out and gasped "Routine Eleven!" on his way to the floor. Twenty minutes after that, Routine Eleven: Stay Fit And Healthy Until You Die lived up to its name as the three collapsed. Switching to a vigorous can-can had proved the last straw.
Picking up his Faux self, Skipper observed his squad coalescing into unity again as Private stared back at him discerningly from the floor. "I see better gasp or um, different, after the preenin' wheeze now, Skippa kaheeeorp you seem to pantpant glow like a Japanese lantern, quite pretty, actually." Private rolled his head to see Rico with his beak agape recovering beside him. "And Rico, you gasp look different than ahhhhh he does."
As his team acknowledged, Kowalski never missed an opportunity for a lecture. "We could weaponize hahahhahahhaaaahhhh the ultraviolet aura effect to keep track of each other in dim lighting, but how often kaffkaff will we have the leisure to preen each other before wheeeeze battle?"
Skipper smacked one flipper into the other after elbowing Faux Skipper away. "We won't. Good call, soldier," he said, and like that, the focus returned to accomplishing the mission. "Damn, damn, double damn, triple damn, hell. I wanted to sweep and clear Blowhole before St. Urho's Day. The day after is St. Patrick's Day and we could have had real reason to celebrate. I don't know now, I just don't know, men."
Kowalski regained his feet and his breath. "The Ides of March come the day before St. Urho's Day and is this delay a warning to beware moving against Blowhole until the Ides are over with?" He stroked his beak as his commander did a double-take.
"That sounds like something that a certain lemur would say about his Sky Spirits. Don't tell me you are getting superstitious, Science Guy. I wouldn't have thought it of you."
Rico placed himself between Kowalski and Skipper. "Stpfite. Nao." He was serious, Skipper saw, and so was little Private.
"Cool it. Sir."
For the second time in as many minutes, Skipper did a double-take. "Aw, relax. This is just talking. Extrapolate from my tone, soldiers."
Private waved Rico away and rubbed his eyes. "Rico, you've stopped glowin' and so have you, K'walski, and you, Skippa. You're back to normal not-pretty." Rico sniffed haughtily at the slam before turning to his bunkmate.
"Good, so let's concentrate on the mission again." Kowalski spoke up, clipboard at the ready. Rico turned his back on the rest of his team and sat at the front of the class as Kowalski tapped the pencil against the study aid. "We know this: Blowhole makes giant deadly worms for Purpose X and wants Skipper more than out of the picture so Purpose X can happen. He wants Skipper dead and his team demoralized afterwards so to not stop his super-dee-duper evil plan. He'll fail because we have a mole in his organization. We know it's especially evil because he has been escalating his eviltude with each scheme, Private, so put down your flipper."
Skipper made a moue from the back of the class as he mock-threw a spitball at the teacher. "If I had died, you'd have carried on. Come on, Kowalski."
"Of course we would have, sir. No question about it. But we would have been stunned at a critical time, just as much as you would have been if his plan were to take all of us out to deprive you of troops."
Hit. Kowalski acknowledged satisfaction at the way his leader looked shocked. "I - I hadn't considered that. Way to go with options about thinking like a criminal mastermind, soldier."
Kowalski swelled his chest until he concluded that this was not the compliment it seemed. "Er, thanks. Now onward to results."
IOIOIOIOIO
TBC
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