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Bump in the Night	By : Sun-Fox Category: +M through R > Real Ghostbusters Views: 439 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Ghostbusters or any of its affiliated content. Sun-Fox does not make any money off of this story. She also does not condone unsafe sex practices. Be careful when you have your funtimes!

Chapter List
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The next day, the gang decided to spend their lunch break at Central Park. Ray sat on a bench facing a pond full of ducks and swans. These animals that got around in the same manner as boats were moving aimlessly through the pond, not paying much attention to anything unless someone threw bread crumbs to them. It was a kind of meditation to Ray, something to take his mind off what he saw the other night.

Egon came around holding a wrapper and some wadded-up napkins from one of the food carts. He sat down next to Ray and watched those same ducks.

“Hey, Egon,” said Ray. He couldn’t think of what else to talk about so he focused on their mission from that morning. “Who knew that teddy bear demons would want to haunt F.A.O. Schwartz? That’s the last place you’d expect them to be, right?”

“I know you were watching Janine and I the other night,” said Egon.

Ray froze in fear. So much for steering the conversation elsewhere.

“How… how did you know it was me?”

“I have proverbial eyes on the side of my head and you’ve always had an affinity for that obsolete technology.”

“I… I… I didn’t mean to. I was using that scope to see what’s been making those noises that I’ve always heard and then I found you guys and--“

“It’s fine, Ray.”

Ray was overcome with relieved confusion. “It is?”

“Yes. Slimer has seen Janine and I in the throes of passion on several occasions. You can’t keep that ghost distracted forever, no matter how many cheap toys you give him.”

Ray looked around and tapped his knee several times. “So… I didn’t know you and Janine were an item. I mean, Janine has a thing for you, that’s clear as day. But I didn’t know you had a thing for Janine.”

“I don’t. She’s a coworker, Ray. Or maybe I do. I don’t know. Those feelings are for me to work out.”

“If you’re not really into her, then why do… um… you do it with her?”

“It’s the thrill of the job. When you’re out there trapping ghosts and protecting the city, it could very well be your last day on earth. I already do crazy, heart-pounding work, so why not try and relax with a method that’s equally crazy and heart-pounding? My stress-relief sessions calm me down and give me clarity… and they make Janine happy. Like trapping two ghosts with one proton gun.”

“I mean, Janine is definitely the right girl to do that with.”

“You should have seen the sex that we had after we defeated Gozer. She’s into some creative methods of pleasure. They’re not really my style but I’m not one to judge.”

“It’s funny. You were never the best at socializing – No offense -- and yet there you were doing the most intimate act possible with someone.”

“Janine feels different. Something about that woman is mesmerizing. She knows a man’s body inside and out. She’s just so caring, sweet and productive both in work and out of work. Also, she compliments my intelligence, which is a plus.”

Ray thought, “Somebody’s in denial about not being into Janine.” But like Egon said, those feelings were for him to work out.

“I’m going to take a walk,” said Ray. He got up and decided to follow the sidewalk, although he didn’t have a destination in mind.

Ray walked past a hot dog cart where Winston was getting lunch. Winston was quick to notice Ray even though he was dressing his hotdog in the assorted condiments available.

“Ray!” he said when he turned around, “Just the guy I was looking for!” He finished squeezing the last of the relish out of the tiny, obnoxious packet before running up to his coworker and walking with him.

“Hey, Winston,” said Ray, “How goes things?”

“Oh, they’re alright.”

“So how about those teddy bear demons, right?”

“So, I heard that you peeked in on Egon’s ‘stress relief.’”

Again? Why can’t people stick to talking about work? “Wow, news travels fast around the firehouse.”

“Yeah, Peter told me.”

“I knew he’d open his mouth.”

Winston took a bite of his hotdog and continued walking with Ray. All around him, people sat on benches, walked past and played with their dogs and babies on the grass. It was just another day at the park.

“You know, everyone’s fucked Janine.”

Ray stopped walking in disbelief and offense. “What?!”

Winston stopped as well. “Yeah, she has.”

“So, everyone knows about this.”

“Yeah, she’s done the nasty with Egon, Peter, me… everyone except you and Slimer apparently. Why else do you think we keep a box of condoms in the back room?”

“I don’t know. I thought maybe somebody left them there by mistake. I didn’t see her use a condom with Egon last night.”

“Egon’s a special case, let’s put it that way. She’s even done people outside the company as well.”

“Like the OSHA inspector?”

“Man, how do you think we keep passing inspection?”

“The pizza delivery guy?”

“We’ve gotten SO much free pizza thanks to this woman.”

“The Mayor?”

“According to her, he really likes feet. She’s also done the postal carrier on several occasions.”

“Isn’t our postal carrier a woman?”

“Yep. It’s also why we keep a box of dental dams in the back room as well. And they don’t just do the deed on her desk, either. She’s done people in the bathroom, in the company beds, at her apartment, anywhere good times are had.”

“I knew that woman was a flirt but damn.”

“Damn is right. It seems that we go out and bust ghosts and all this time, we’ve had a demon in the sack right there in the firehouse.”

Ray thought, “I’d like to be awake to see her with the postal carrier at some time in the future.” But then he went back noticing his sunken heart and being offended. “Why hasn’t she done me yet? I’ve been with the company longer than you have.”

“I don’t know, man. Maybe your time will come soon. And you will, too.”

“Go on without me, Winston. I think I’m gonna sulk for a while.”

“You go sulk, I’m gonna keep eating this hotdog.”

If Winston was telling the truth, Janine would rather do everyone except him. Was it because he was fat? That couldn’t have been it. The mayor was portlier than he was and he’s had his time with her. Was he just too nice? Maybe Janine thought that he was too considerate to slap a woman during a sexy session with her. That wasn’t a bad thing but it would clearly impede him in this situation. Maybe she had a system that helped her choose which person to have sex with next, like a lottery, and Ray’s name hadn’t been picked yet. If he convinced himself of this enough, then maybe it will end up being true. Ray knew the importance of being realistic but if ghosts managed to be real and numerous then his chances with Janine can be just as real and numerous.
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Bump in the Night