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The Shadow of his Heart	By : Catspeaker Category: +G through L > The Loud House Views: 12692 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 3
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The first day after a breakup was always the hardest. The raw emotional wound was still fresh, still ripped open and bleeding, a constant pain that throbbed and made you just feel like you wanted to die. But just like any other wound, the quality of care you received would determine how quickly it healed. Luckily for Lincoln, he had some of the best emotional surgeons one could ask for.
Lincoln’s family had always been there for him. In many ways he counted himself blessed in that regard. To often he’d known about those who’d come from broken homes, or who didn’t receive the emotional support they needed from those closest to him. He'd seen the way it effected other kids growing up, how it caused them to fall in with the wrong crowd. How it caused their grades to slip and problems to develop at school. How it seemed to really put that on the wrong foot forward in life.
Lincoln never had that problem. He was close with all his sisters and he could say his mother and father had never neglected him, even with having so many other children to contend with. He knew he was lucky.
So often after his emotional setbacks whatever they were in life, his family was always there to provide him comfort.
Sometimes overwhelmingly so.
Between 10 sisters he always stood out, and while he knew they were always supportive of one another, it seemed with him being the only male they took extra interest. Particularly when it came to his love life.
His sisters had always been obsessed with who he was dating, or who he was interested in. Always asking about any girl he’d been talking to in school or had been seen chatting with at the restaurant. It didn't matter how long he'd interacted with the girl, he could have just been asking her for directions, or looking in her direction. His sisters wanted to know, 'Oh who's that? Do you like her? Hey maybe you should ask for her number? Want me to find out what she thinks of you?' It had been more than embarrassing a few times in his life.
They were always been trying to set him up with their friends too. If they thought he'd been going through a dry spell for to long, suddenly they wanted to introduce him to one friend or another. Convinced this one was just perfect for him. Often to less than stellar results.
And when it had come to Ronnie Anne, it had been the absolute worst. They seemed to be aware of every time she called him, every time he was video chatting with her, every time they'd shared something with each other on social media.
Sometimes it could be absolutely stifling.
Sometimes he wasn’t even interested in the girl and they were on him, asking him questions, offering advice, trying to set him up. He had no idea why it was so important to them, why his love life was some personal soap opera they all had stakes in. He did know it came from a place of love. His sisters wanted him to be happy, just as he wanted them to be happy. Or maybe they were just really worried about him carrying on the Loud family name.
As annoying as it could be, they were also there for him when things didn’t work out. Always ready with kind words, hugs, taking him out for ice-cream, distracting him with activities and in general providing him a shoulder to cry on. In some ways, it seemed as if they took his failures with women as personal failures on their part. As if they’d failed him somehow, hadn’t prepared him correctly, or had set him up with the wrong person.
He knew that was wrong. The failure was completely on himself in every case. Which is often what made him feel so guilty after they gave him such love and support. They weren’t the ones who’d messed up, it was him, always him. After a string of failures, he didn’t understand how they could keep being so loving, how they could keep telling him it was okay, and he’d do better next time. He didn’t understand why they couldn’t see he was fundamentally broken.
Which meant the best thing he could do, the most selfless thing, was to recover enough, or at least pretend to be recovered enough they could stop fussing with him and go back to their lives.
Even if he enjoyed the way they were there for him, even if it did genuinely make him feel better. Even if he did crave their familial love and heal faster knowing his family was there for him, the truth was he just didn’t deserve it.
But it wasn’t like he could just tell them. If he’d said something like that, well that would only worry them even more. It’d make them think he needed more therapy, more pills, more attention. He didn’t want that. He wanted to be the least intrusive family member, the one they needed to worry about the least. He wanted to fade into the background until he could stop being such a bother to everyone.
Truthfully, he was glad they were here for him on the first day. The hardest day. He’d been vaguely aware that Lily had left sometime in the morning. He had to be grateful to his youngest sister, her being with him all night had made it easier. He knew he’d slept a few more hours fitfully afterwards, until he was awakened by Lucy…
Bringing him breakfast of all things.
Good ole Luce. She really was the most reliable sister in the house now. After Lynn Jr had moved out and it fell to him to be the oldest and in charge, Lucy had stepped up to be the primary helper he could rely upon (and if he was being honest, He’d really been in charge after Luan had left, Lynn wasn’t really the most responsible of his sisters). Lucy had been there whenever he needed her, whenever he needed to help get the others in control, and whenever there’d been a particularly ‘girl related’ emergency. Like the time Lana’s period had started when they were visiting the Auto-show. Poor Lana had been mortified, and Lincoln hadn’t known exactly what to do, but Lucy had handled it.
She’d joked afterwards about it preparing him for when he had his own daughters. Lincoln had blanched at that statement. Lucy and he had always been close though, and he’d been used to her relying upon him as they were growing up, now it seemed she was trying to return the favor.
She’d looked so kind, so understanding and so beautiful in her own way when she had woken him. He knew she was off-putting to so many, and she still was able to take him by surprise, but he saw underneath her gloomy exterior. She was a sensitive girl, as much as she tried to pretend otherwise he knew she felt things on a level that surpassed most. She genuinely cared about others and how they felt. She wasn't that apathetic goth who didn't care about anything. She was someone who saw beauty in sorrow, and in mourning. It was why she genuinely wanted to work in the funeral business, she saw it as a duty to help bring closure to others. She had helped him deal with their grandfather’s death better than anyone else had. When he had been the most broken, and the most sad, Lucy had been there to help him accept that Pop-pop was gone, but would always live on in their hearts.
Now here she had been taking care of him again. She had said something to him, something that stuck with him now. No one would understand him like family. No one would understand him like her. He supposed she was right in some regards. She and the others had grown up with him, they knew him. They knew what to expect from him.
Lucy was right about a lot of things.
He had gotten a shower afterwards, and he had cried in it. The reality that Melanie and he were over, that he had another failed relationship to add to the list of others, it overwhelmed him again. He was just happy it was in the shower where no one could hear him. Even if he was starting to realize Melanie hadn’t been as great a girlfriend as he thought she’d been, it still hurt. Melanie did have her good points, she HAD made him feel special. She HAD made him feel handsome, and smart, and like a great lover.
Apparently though that had either all been a lie, or he just wasn’t good enough to satisfy her. There was a distinct possibility Melanie was just a shitty person, and that just spoke to his inability to actually attract someone who would treat him right.
Somehow he just shouted, ‘hey look at me! Do you want a boyfriend you can walk all over and will happily take it because he’s so fucking desperate he lacks self-respect? Then you came to the right boy!’
He wondered how it all started. Was it something that had always been there? Did it begin with Ronnie?
No, no it hadn’t. He’d been braver with her, much braver, far more assertive. He had never gone out of his way to be servile with Ronnie. Hell, he hadn't even liked her at first until he understood what she was doing. Thanks to his sisters of course.
Ronnie loved to pick on him and he eventually realized it was her strange awkward way of flirting. She was a tomboy, trying to flirt in a traditionally feminine manner was out of her wheelhouse. It must have been frustrating to her, to be attracted to a dork like him. So she challenged him, she pushed him, she tested him. Somehow, he was able to rise to the occasion every time. He let her playfully bully him, and yet he put his foot down when ever she’d gone to far. He wasn’t afraid to call her out when she was acting like a brat, and for the craziest reasons he couldn’t fathom, she seemed to love that. More he could make her cry, and when he'd learned that it had shocked him. His opinion of her was so important, when she thought he didn't like her at all, she'd ended up crying.
When he thought back to her, it was surprising when he realized he had made all the first real ‘moves’ in the relationship. He had been the first to kiss her, every time it had been important. She’d melted against him each time. The tough skater girl would melt every time the dorky boy kissed her. Somehow he, Lincoln Loud, the guy who couldn't even keep up with her athletically, who was nowhere near as cool as she was, made her feel feminine and vulnerable.
Back when he believed in himself. Back when he still had confidence in who he was. Back before he'd fucked things up with her.
Where had that confidence in himself gone? When did he stop believing in himself? When had he become such a loser? He was wrong, it did go back to Ronnie, just not in the way he thought it did. She’d slipped through his fingers because of his own insecurity and fear.
Did it really matter now? He was what he was, and he didn’t really see anyway of getting out of it.
After the shower the first thing he did was check his social media. As expected, there was a deluge of messages waiting for him. His sisters had worked fast. Lincoln decided to sort the messages in birth order before reading them.
Lori:
Hey little bro, Bobby and I send nothing but love to you. You are so much better than she is anyway. You deserve better, and now you’re free to get it. You know you can always call your big sister, we love you so much.
Lenni:
OMG Lincoln! Lori says Im not allowed to call u 2day! Totes unfair! U know u can always come out 2 visit me and Luan! Come see New York, it would be soooo much fun to have u with us again! U will get a better girl anyway! Call or text if you need anything! Love u! Love u! Love u! xoxoxoxoxo
Luna:
Hey Bro! I know you’re probably hurtin real bad right now. That’s okay! You take the time you need, but you listen up! That girl is old news! Dust on your shoes! You gotta get back on that horse and ride dude! Next time Sam and I are in town, we’ll take you out and set you up with some girls! The real fun kind 😉! Love ya Bro!
Luan
Lincoln, I know you’d expect me to hit you with some kind of joke or pun, but I know times like these are no laughing matter. Besides a text just doesn’t communicate the humor I could give you in person! You’re a great guy Lincoln, one of the best out there. We should know, we raised you to be one after all! I know Lenni already said you should come out to see us, and you should! Maybe we could even show you some of the colleges out here! New York is really something else! Love you Lincoln!
Lynn
Hey Stinkin! Don’t waste any tears on that girl! She sucked anyway, and I bet not even in the ways you like! You’re worth so much more than that! Don’t keep yourself benched for too long, you need to get back out into the game! The best way for you to get over her is to score again! ;-D Margo’s single by the way, you just say the word Bro!
He was thankful for the messages, honestly. He could feel the warmth and love coming through them, even as text on his phone. But he was also grateful they weren’t going to call him today. He really didn’t need to have 5 separate conversations talking about the same break up. Even if Leni and Luan were living together Leni would insist on him talking to her separately otherwise ‘it wasn’t fair’.
He would make sure to call them, all of them, over the next few days, but just not today.
There was another message waiting for him though. One he hadn’t expected to see, and one he really didn’t want to look at.
Melanie.
Melanie of all people had messaged him.
He looked at it for some time, afraid to open it, not knowing what to expect. Would it be an apology? He seriously doubted that. Would it be her gloating? Maybe a picture of her with muscle head’s dick in her mouth? Would it just be some nasty message telling him how pathetic he was?
The anxiety in him built up as he looked at the message on his phone. Just waiting for him to press it with his thumb and read its contents.
Just seeing it again brought back the worry, the fear, the tension. His mind racing, he didn’t want to see it. Why couldn’t she just leave him alone? He didn’t want some last parting shot from her. Some last reminder of his failure.
He stared at the message notification for what must have been 5 minutes. Then finally he summoned up his courage enough to open it.
Melanie:
Linc Linc, I know some words were exchanged last night in the heat of the moment, but I really think now that we have cooled down some we should be able to talk more about it. When you’re done being disrespectful and ready to talk like mature adults, then call me again. Don’t be foolish and throw something good away Linc Linc.
Lincoln saw red. He couldn’t believe her. He could not fucking believe her. The audacity, the sheer fucking audacity. She expected him to come crawling back!? She thought so low of him that she was sure he’d come running back, like a faithful dog?!
He almost threw his phone across the room but stopped himself at the last moment. He didn’t need to let her trash his things as well as his heart.
The next action he took was to log onto his social media and unfriend her. He was lucky he was in a rage when he did it, he didn’t know if he’d have the willpower to do so otherwise. Once the action was taken though the rage left him, and he just felt empty.
He teared up again once it was done.
He didn’t sob, he didn’t bawl, he just sat on his bed, brought his knees up to his chest and leaned forward letting the tears run down his cheeks. He hated this, he hated it so very much.
After about 20 minutes he’d managed to get a hold of himself again. There was someone else he still needed to talk to. Someone he knew would at least make him feel marginally better. His main man Clyde.
A few button presses on the phone later and it was ringing, only for the familiar baritone voice to greet him. Clyde already sounded sympathetic and kind, surprising Lincoln.
“Hey Buddy, how are you hanging in there?”
Lincoln blinked a little, it sounded like Clyde already knew somehow.
“Clyde, hey... you, already know what happened?”
He could almost hear Clyde nod as he responded, “Yeah, Lucy shot me a text last night letting me know. She told me to expect a call from you. I've kinda just been sitting here waiting for it..” Clyde gave a slight chuckle.
Good ole Luce, she'd even saved him the trouble of having to explain it to Clyde. The awkwardness of having to say 'Oh hey guess what, I broke up with my girlfriend' was something he was happy he didn't have to get into.
Lincoln breathed out softly, “Can you believe, she tried to fucking claim she was Polyamarous as an excuse?”
Clyde responded, “Well even if she is, it's pretty shitty to not tell someone you're that up front. Also, I don't see you as the kind of guy who'd be into that sort of thing, even with your experience of being shared by 10 separate women already.”
Lincoln actually laughed at that one, “Clyde! Those are my sisters, that's different!”
Clyde seemed to laugh too, “Hey, after dealing with all of them growing up, you sure one woman would be enough to keep your interest anyway?”
Lincoln chuckled again, “Yeah man, yeah, I'm sure.”
Clyde responded, “Well, if there's one thing I know, it's that you wouldn't be able to share one woman with a bunch of other guys.”
Lincoln sighed, “Yeah... but, well I hate to say this. Clyde, I seriously considered it for a moment.”
He could hear the shock in Clyde's voice, “Lincoln! Lincoln Loud! You are better than that! Buddy, what has happened to you? I knew I should of stayed home and went to the community college with you, I knew I should of---”
Lincoln cut him off, “No Clyde, No. You did the right thing. You needed to get out of that house. You needed to get away from your Dads. Besides, you got the scholarship, you earned your place there. I couldn't forgive myself if you stayed home just because of me.”
Clyde seemed to frown slightly as he made excuses replying, “Well, it'd be for Haiku too. I miss my little Sushi roll and my best friend.”
Lincoln had to stop himself from snorting at Clyde's pet name for Haiku, “Well, she misses you too, I'm sure, big sexy chocolate..”
Clyde laughed on the other end, “Just remember Lincoln, only you and her are ever allowed to call me that...” After their laughter died down some, Clyde continued, “Seriously though Linc, Melanie wasn't good for you. I knew that from the moment I met her.”
Lincoln frowned, a question in his voice, “Why didn't you or anyone else say anything?”
There was a pause on the other end of the line before Clyde spoke, “Because Linc, you'd just been.” and Clyde sighed audibly again before he continued, “Buddy, you've just been sad the last year or so. Some of your sisters could see it, and I could read it plain as day on your face. You're my best friend, and all I wanted was for you to get a win. So if that meant watching you hang out with a girl who made my teeth itch every time she called me a fellow POC like just cause I'm Black and she's Asian we have so much in common, then I did it. Cause I love you.”
Lincoln felt tears welling up in his eyes again. He didn't deserve Clyde. “Clyde man, I...” he trailed off before his voice began to crack..
Clyde responded, his tone soothing, “Hey, Linc, it's gonna be okay man. Linc, listen to me. I know things suck right now, but we're only 19. You've gotta do what, another year at home and then you'll be up here with me? Besides, you know I'll be home on the holidays and summer anyway, my Dads would never let me do otherwise.”
Lincoln laughed a little even through his sniffles, “How have you been enjoying freedom from them?”
Clyde gave a dramatic sigh, “Lincoln, you have no idea. I love my Dads, I do. They're the best parents a guy could ask for, but not having them breathing down my neck to make sure I'm okay has been liberating. Though I had to set some ground rules, they're only allowed to call me once a day, and it took some real wrangling to get them to agree to that, let me tell you!”
Lincoln laughed again as he wiped his eyes, “I can imagine. They text me occasionally asking if I've heard anything from you.”
Clyde groaned on the other end, “Getting my own best friend to spy on me! They're lucky I love them so much.”
Lincoln smiled, “You know, talking to you like this, even if it's not about Melanie. It's really been making me feel better.”
Clyde grinned as he responded, “Good, that's what friends are supposed to do. But get this, I got something that's going to make you feel even better now.”
Lincoln was curious, “What's that?”
Clyde cleared his throat, “Well it seems to me, that your weekend just opened up a few weeks from now, meaning..”
Lincoln suddenly realized what his best friend was getting at, “I can go to Youma-con with you!”
Clyde chuckled, “That's right buddy! Clinkon Mcloud rides again! We just need to figure out what we're gonna cosplay as!”
Talking to his best friend, the dark dreary mood that had been following Lincoln seemed to dissipate, at least for awhile. He spent the next hour talking about the newest issue of Ace & Jack, when they could get online to play some Call of War together, and how their classes were going.
After his conversation with Clyde was over, Lincoln found himself bombarded with his family's love once again. Dad made him his favorite lunch and tried to assuage him, reminding his son he hadn't even met his mother until his third year of college. Lola, Lana, Lisa and Lily kept him busy pretty much the rest of the day. Oh they took advantage of it, having him drive them to the mall and follow them around to get some shopping done, but Lincoln was glad for the distraction. Besides that, Lily and him managed to sneak off to the videogame store while the others were busy and played some demos together.
But at the end of the day and into the night, he was still feeling the pangs of the breakup. As wonderful as his sisters were, it was just impossible to not let the reality of his heartbreak in. He had a few moments by himself where he had to hold back the tears, and the anger, and the sadness that came with everything. It was difficult, and he didn't want to trouble his sisters with his pain, even though that's exactly why they were there with him.
But when Lucy got home, she set the others free. It was Lucy of all people who said she wanted to spend time with him.
She'd gotten back from her meeting with Haiku sometime while he was out with his other sisters, and had even ordered pizza for everyone. Lucy informed the rest of her sisters she'd be taking over Lincoln duty for the night and they were free to do what they wanted.
Lola and Lana decided to head out to meet up with their friends, while Lisa invited her best friend Darcy over to hang out. As for Lily, she had friends she played with online in 'Cave Craft' and took off to do so in her room.
Lucy had invited him to watch the newest episode of 'Sorcerer for Hire' the spin off of Vampires of Melancholia that he'd grown to love. Settling in on the couch together, Lucy scooted in right up against him, leaning her head against his shoulder.
Lincoln was in many ways used to most of his sisters being close to him, he'd cuddled with all of them over the years in various ways, but typically as each of them got older, the rate and way they cuddled with him would change. These days the only one who still climbed all over him like he was still her personal jungle gym was Lily.
So while he was used to some of them sitting very close to, or even right up against him, the way Lucy was currently settling herself on the couch against him, was a little different than usual. The goth girl had decided to lay on the couch entirely, and just prop herself up against him. Lincoln didn't really know what to say at the time, but decided not to bring anything up.
That was until she took hold of the arm she was leaning against, and brought it up and around her, making him hug her body close to his own.
This made him keenly aware of the softness of her chest, thanks to how she was holding his arm.
Lincoln cast a curious gaze at his sister, before he speaking up, “Getting comfortable?”
Lucy looked up at him, her eyes hidden by her coal dark bangs, smirking some, “Yes, in fact, I am. I would hope you wouldn't be bothered by your little sister wanting to cuddle with you Lincoln.”
Lincoln rolled his eyes some before responding, “Lucy, you're not exactly little anymore. Kind of the opposite.”
Lucy huffed in reply, “I should always be little in your eyes Lincoln. Are you really going to be so cruel as to ask me to stop?”
Lincoln felt a slight amount of guilt crawl into him. Here he was complaining about his sister just trying to give him affection in one of the tougher moments of his life, “I'm sorry Luce. I know you mean well, it's just. It's been awhile.”
“Too long Lincoln.” Came Lucy's reply.
Maybe she was right, did their ages really having anything to do with their closeness? He wouldn't even think twice if Lily climbed into his lap, or decided to hug him from behind and climb on his shoulders. Of course, Lucy was a little to big for his shoulders, but maybe the point was, he shouldn't feel weird about this. Maybe he was the one who was weird for questioning it in the first place.
He decided to give her a little squeeze with the arm he had wrapped around her body, and pull her in a little more comfortably. He had to admit, it felt nice. She felt nice. She was warm, and soft, and he loved her. She was family and had never rejected him, never shown signs of rejecting him.
Lincoln had had conflicts with most of his sisters over the years, arguments, fights, it was all part of being siblings. But Lucy was one of the few he'd argued with and fought with the least. It made him reflect some..
Were He and Lucy like Lori and Lenni? The two oldest siblings were incredibly close, to the point he knew they spoke with each other at least an hour on the phone everyday. As the middle child of 11, Lincoln really had taken on the 'Lori' role when it came to his 5 younger siblings. Lucy, much like Leni had been for Lori, was the next closest in age to him.
Just as Lori and Lenni shared so many similarities, Lucy and he shared so many too. It was something he thought he'd always known on some level, and maybe he'd been neglecting the special bond the two of them had as of late.
Feeling a sense of affection and warmth flow up inside of him, Lincoln leaned over and placed a kiss atop Lucy'd head.
He saw the result right away, his sister suddenly smiling softly, and giving his arm a firm squeeze in response.
Then she was leaning her head back again, looking up at him with that smile, a slight flush on her cheeks, “Lincoln...I've been meaning to ask you something.”
Lincoln looked curious, “Of course Luce, anything you want.”
Lucy continued, “Well you see, it's more of a favor really. Kind of a big one, but there's no one else I trust for this more than you.”
Now Lincoln was very curious. The favors he'd done for Lucy were some of the more...interesting he'd had to put up with among all of his sisters. He'd owned an entire Goth outfit several times over the years just for the number of times he had to dress up for some weird plan or favor she needed.
His face fell into a skeptical expression, “It's not gonna involve me dressing up, is it?”
Lucy suddenly took on a very nervous smile. That told him all he needed to know.
Lincoln groaned, “Lucy, you know I love you, but seriously? I don't want to have to put on eyeliner and mesh again.”
Lucy shook her head, still leaning back, looking up at him, “It's not what you think Lincoln. It's different. It involves my coven.”
That caused Lincoln to rear back slightly. While he'd shown up to help out her Mortician's club at school a number of times, he'd never actually been involved in her Pagan wiccan ritual stuff, outside of dropping her off and picking her up from meetings sometimes.
“Lucy, you know it's one thing for me to pretend to be a corpse for your mock funerals, or a pall bearer, it's another thing to ask me to get involved in witchcraft.” Lincoln stated.
Lucy slipped herself out of his grasp, turning around and sitting up on her knees to face him. She clasped her hands together as if begging, “Please, please, please, Lincoln. You don't know how important this is, and I promise you it's not going to be scary or weird.” That was completely a lie, but Lucy knew it was for the greater good of her plan.
Lincoln sighed and folded his arms. He loved his sister, he loved Lucy so much, but even this was stretching him from his comfort zone somewhat but he knew he at least needed to hear her out, “Alright Luce, tell me what it involves.”
Lucy grinned, putting her hands down and resting them on her knees, “We're going to be performing a harvest ritual. One that gives thanks to the animals and plant life that sacrifices itself to nourish us and keep us alive over the course of winter.”
Lincoln nodded, rolling his hand in a questioning gesture, “Sounds simple enough, but, it doesn't involved any real sacrifice does it? I'm not comfortable with blood or killing any animals here Luce.”
Lucy shook her head, “No, No, Lincoln of course not. It's all symbolic, but what we need is someone to take on the role of the wolf. The representation of the predator that will chase down and claim the prey. Bringing it back to the rest of the pack.”
Lincoln looked more skeptical, tilting his head again, “And you....want me to be this wolf? Lucy, me? Someone who doesn't know anything about this. Shouldn't it be someone in your coven who is more familiar with it?”
Lucy smiled, reached forward and took his hand between her own, “That's just it Lincoln, for reasons I can't tell you right now, it has to be you. I've already set it up to be that way. It'll make more sense when you're actually there. Besides that, it'll be fun. It's just like camping, we're going to spend a night on some private land in the wilderness. After the ritual there will be fires, and a cook out and just enjoying nature.”
Lincoln actually did like camping, there was something about getting away from it all and being close to nature that was fun. That actually made him smile, “Huh, sounds like an excuse to just go camping then.”
Lucy chuckled, “Oh, we take our religion very seriously Lincoln, but we also do like to have fun with it. So can I please, please, please count on you to do this next Saturday? Mom and Dad won't let me go without you anyway.”
That caused Lincoln to blink in surprise once more, “You already ran this by Mom and Dad?”
Lucy nodded her head, “This would be my first real time getting to participate in the harvest ritual. Mom and Dad weren't exactly about to let me spend the night on some stranger's land without supervision. I said you'd be with me, and that sealed it.”
Lincoln frowned to himself, on one hand he knew he should probably be a little upset with her, since she'd gone and planned all of this before even asking if he would agree to it. On the other hand, after hearing it all explained to him, it really didn't sound that bad and he knew he was going to agree to it.
Maybe that was the problem, Lucy already knew he would say yes. Sometimes he really could be so damn predictable.
Lincoln gave a sigh and shrugged with his free hand, “Alright Luce, I'll do it. I can't promise I'll be the best wolf ever, but I'll give it a shot. As long as I get to make smores afterwards.”
Lucy almost squealed, she released her brother's hand and then nearly tackled him, wrapping both arms around him tightly, her head pressed up against his chest, “Oh thank you Lincoln! Thank you! You won't regret this! Trust me, you're going to have so much fun! It's going to be an absolutely magical night!”
Lincoln found himself feeling happy just seeing Lucy happy. But then, that was the kind of person he was, when he made those closest to him happy, he felt it in turn. He put his arms up around his younger sister and hugged her back, “Hey, if you can't rely on your big brother, who can you rely on?”
Lucy's response was to suddenly draw back, and then lean in placing her lips against his own in a brief but sudden kiss. Her lips were warm and soft, and he was fairly certain she'd left black lipstick on him.
The action had shocked Lincoln, but he didn't say anything. Lucy turned back around to settle against him, bringing his arm up and wrapping it around her body once more. “You're the best big brother anyone could ever ask for.”
Lincoln flushed a little but tried to brush it off. Lucy was just excited and being sweet. It was rare to see her be so emotive like this, that was all. He settled in to finish watching the show with her.
Lincoln fell into his routine after that. In a way it was comforting to get back to business as usual. Taking care of his sisters, going to class, waiting tables for his Dad, the routine kept his mind off his troubles.
Mom came back from her trip, and he called all of his sisters in turn to talk to them. He had more time since he wasn't spending any of it with Melanie anymore and he filled it with picking up an extra shift at the restaurant, a night of games with Clyde, and spending more time with his sisters.
Before he knew it, the weekend was approaching, and the time to participate in Lucy's weird coven get together was happening.
That Saturday morning Lincoln and Lucy packed up his SUV with camping supplies and a few other items before getting ready to take off. Their mother and father had pulled Lincoln aside and told him to keep an eye on Lucy all the same, just make sure none of the weirdos try anything with her. Dad meanwhile had mumbled something about this reminding him far to much of his grandmother Harriet. After that, it was a quick stop off to pick up Haiku as well, who piled into the back and the three were off together.
The actual gathering was taking place on a Coven member's private land in mid Michigan around two hours away from Royal woods. There would be a house for certain members with medical conditions to stay in, as well as barn, but for the most part the majority of people present would be staying in tents around the woods of the property.
Lincoln knew he'd be sharing a tent with both Haiku and Lucy. Lucy mentioned the ritual portion would take place around mid-day and shortly before that she'd have to help out with a few important elements with some of the elders of the coven and so he shouldn't expect to see her until after the ritual was completed.
Lincoln had complained a little about that, seeing he'd only agreed to do this for HER after all, but Haiku and Lucy both teamed up on him then, assuring him she'd be part of the ritual he just wouldn't see her part until later. Lincoln gave up in the face of the two girls and just accepted it.
The ride out to the location was pleasant for the most part, Lincoln got along easily with Lucy and Haiku after all. There was some talk about Clyde and how things were going with him and Haiku now that he was away, but apparently Haiku and he face-timed each other at least once a day, and Lincoln could tell the two's relationship was strong enough he didn't expect there to be any problems between them. Still, he could detect a hint of sadness in Haiku's voice over no longer being able to see her boyfriend every day now.
He had faith in Haiku and Clyde though. His sister Lori and her husband Bobby had to deal with being even further apart for a year, and they'd managed to do it. It wasn't like the way Ronnie and Him had failed trying the same thing. They had been younger, and the distance was just greater.
Lincoln didn't want to dwell on that though.
They arrived at the farm a little after noon. It was located just outside of the college town of Big Pleasant.
Big Pleasant's college kids made up a revolving roster of members of the local Coven, along with many members who'd settled in the area taking jobs in the town or at the college. Apparently the leaders of this particular branch who owned the land were a married couple who also worked as Professors at Carnival university in the town.
The farm was set off of a dirt road that was filled with old cattails and tall yellow grass on each side, before terminating in a thick wood made of both pine and deciduous trees. Early fall colors had set in making a pretty array of red and oranges among the leaves.
A long dirt drive way led up to a fairly modern and new ranch house that was painted a light blue, with solar panels mounted atop it. Lincoln had to guess the house was probably only around ten years old. Further back behind the house was a large red barn that also seemed to be only recently built within the last decade.
The land around the house and barn was cleared for what seemed to be about 50 yards in every direction, only for those deep woods to swallow up the land once more. Although Lincoln could see a few paths had been cleared into the woods proper.
Already there was an assortment of various vehicles set about the drive way and on the grass when Lincoln and company arrived. Lucy had informed him they should expect anywhere up to a 100 people to potentially show, but more likely the number would be around 60+ or so.
While the connected Pagan community of Michigan was much larger, the number of people who could actually show up for this kind of event was smaller. That and similar ones were being held in other parts of the state.
After they arrived and piled out of the car, Haiku said she'd go and inform the elders they'd arrived. Lincoln and Lucy began the process of unpacking while Lincoln took a look around.
He was struck by the similarity to the House party he'd gone to last weekend, a strange fun house mirror in some ways. The differences were interesting, for one the people here were of a variety of different ages. He saw a few people with grey hair, some who had to be the same age as his father and mother, along with a plethora of college aged people.
The other thing that struck him was just how....normal the majority of them looked. There were certainly a few who stood out and seemed to be members of Lucy's goth subculture, but the majority were dressed in regular clothes fit for camping. Flannel, Denim, boots, vests over t-shirts, and other things.
It wasn't exactly what he'd been expecting when he thought he'd be hanging out with a bunch of Pagans for the weekend. No dark cloaks or weird magical implements in sight. He did see many of them were wearing pentacles around their neck, but right now that was the most note-worthy thing.
Haiku returned shortly afterwards with two other people in tow, a man and a woman. The woman looked to be around 5'6 and was most definitely part of the Goth subculture, although she carried herself in what was obviously a much more subtle manner than Haiku and Lucy did.
She wore a simple black dress over her body, and had a thick pair of black circle glasses, much like his sister Lisa wore. Her long black hair was loose, and she wore a pentacle around her neck. She was over-weight, but not morbidly so, and had a very large pair of breasts which seemed to most likely make up for any complaints the man next to her could have. The wedding ring on her finger and his denoted their status.
As for him, he was tall and thin, with black hair, balding on the top, and smaller circle glasses with no frames over his eyes. He was wearing a red plaid flannel shirt, with an orange vest over it and a pair of blue jeans.
Haiku made the introductions as they approached Lincoln and Lucy, after they'd finished unloading the suv.
“Lincoln, this is Wayne and Sheila Hollins, they're the ones who own the land and are the head elders for the ritual tonight.”
Lincoln looked towards Lucy, who responded with a simple, “I already know them Lincoln.”
Before he turned back to the couple nodded and smiled, “Hey, nice to meet you, as you heard I'm Lincoln.”
Wayne reached out for Lincoln's hand, who took it and shook it gently, “Hey, nice to meet you Lincoln, we're so glad you could make it! We've wanted Haiku and Lucy to come up here for awhile now, the two of them are some of our most active members in the online group.”
Sheila was already hugging Lucy who seemed to be returning the favor to her, speaking in a soft and kind voice, “Mmm, he's just like you said he is dear, Handsome! And that white hair!”
Lincoln looked over at Sheila and Lucy, who only fixed him with a mysterious smile, before he brought his attention back to Wayne again, “Well thanks, it's the least I could do for both of them. But, I should admit, this is all sort of new to me. I really don't want to mess it up any.”
Wayne responded, “Oh don't worry about that Lincoln. Lucy already filled us in on everything, it's great you agreed to do this. It's one of our more important rituals and we're always very choosy with who plays the wolf, it has to be done right with someone who can be trusted.”
Lincoln looked a little nervous then, rearing back ever so slightly, “You're not uh, gonna go all wicker man on me are you?”
Sheila and Wayne both laughed at that, before Sheila clasped Lincoln on the shoulder, “No sweetie, as much fun as it would be to cover Nicholas Cage in bees, nobody is going to get hurt, unless they trip and fall in the woods tonight.”
Wayne shook his head with a sigh, “Happens far more often than you'd think. I keep telling people, bring flash lights when you go wandering out there!”
Lucy smiled again as she spoke up, “See I told you Lincoln, this wasn't going to be anything to weird or strange.”
Lincoln gave a nod, the more he saw and the more he talked with Wayne and Sheila, the more he was put at ease. Wayne and Sheila were obviously a little kooky, but he liked them, they reminded him of a younger version of his Mom and Dad.
“I have to admit, I didn't know what to expect coming here, where's all the cauldrons and weird little creepy stick figures hanging from trees?” Lincoln joked.
Sheila responded, “Oh don't worry, we're gonna get a little weird with it when the ritual starts. You'll see some of us in hoods and robes, and carrying sacred implements, but afterwards we're going to roast marshmallows and grill up some hamburgers. You'll probably find lots of people doing some of their own channeling or praise work for the Goddess here and there afterwards, but nothing that will scare you..”
Lincoln nodded again. By this point he was carrying the Tent and a large backpack with most of the supplies they'd brought. Lucy had a smaller one as did Haiku, and they were all moving towards the woods where the rest of the people present seemed to be headed.
Wayne spoke up, “And of course Lincoln, you have one of the most important parts in the ritual today! But it'll be fun, and easy, you don't have to worry about it..”
Sheila piped in, “Oh but you'll have to take your shirt off and let us apply some woad to you..” before she gave a slight giggle.
Lincoln blinked in surprise raising his eyebrow, “Woad?”
Lucy chimed in, “Celtic paint. They're going to decorate you for this. Just remember Sheila, you're already married and Lincoln belongs to me.”
Sheila only giggled again, “I know, I know sweetie, but there are some perks to being the revered mother for the ritual.”
Wayne rolled his eyes, “Calm yourself hon.”
Lincoln found that last statement from Lucy to be a little suspect. He belonged to her? They knew she was his sister right? He didn't just want to interject that though, it would feel weird, having to suddenly proclaim, 'oh yeah, that's my sister!' like he was having weird thoughts or people were getting the wrong idea. Whatever, he was feeling weird enough right now, he decided not to worry about it.
“Hey, what ever you need me to do, you just tell me. I'm here to help.” Lincoln said with a brief smile.
Eventually the group reached a large clearing with a series of smaller paths leading off to other visible clearings in the area. There was a central fire pit in the main clearing and he could see one set up in the others too. People were pitching their tents and setting things up for the day while also seeming to just generally socialize with one another.
Wayne and Sheila made a few more pleasantries with the three of them, before taking off to greet and welcome others. They let Lincoln know they'd fetch him when the time was right.
They didn't set up in the main clearing, instead taking one of the branching ones, close to the edge of the woods. Lincoln set up the tent easy enough, and the three set out their sleeping bags and cooler with goodies inside. After that, Lincoln went around with the two girls and was introduced to a whole variety of people.
It turned out both Haiku and Lucy were popular, very popular with the people present. There was some religious talk here and there, mentions of energy working and circle forming, things he didn't really quite get, but mostly it was greetings and meetings and talk of mundane things. Lincoln was also well aware of the number of young men who were practically drooling over Haiku and Lucy both, until they looked at him.
Lucy each time introduced him and said he was with her. Again he was reminded of Melanie and going to parties with her, how she would often abandon him and would barely acknowledge his presence in connection to her sometimes. Here Lucy was doing the complete opposite, she was sticking with him, and was making sure everyone knew, he was with her.
He also started to formulate the theory that maybe he was here to help keep some of these boys away from Haiku and his sister. They were both beautiful girls, and it went without question the exact kind of girls the guys here would want. His presence seemed to be keeping them from getting bombarded by orbiters and guys who looked more interested in getting into their dresses rather than discussing the merits of calling on the Goddess on different holidays for the different resonance it would create.
That didn't seem to bad if that was the case. If he could save his sister and his buddy's girlfriend getting hassled by guys they weren't interested in, then hey, all the better. He was being a good bro both to his sister and his brother at state university.
The hours passed and Lincoln became aware that the ritual was being set up. Large torches were being set up around the main clearing, and the central bonfire had been lit there too. Lucy at this point also told Lincoln she had to leave now to prepare and left him in the care of Haiku. Haiku assured him everything was going to be fine and he'd see her soon enough in a few hours.
In the meantime he chatted with her about Clyde and watched as they seemed to set a few more things up for the ritual.
That was until Wayne showed up, dressed in an actual black cloak, along with two other men who told Lincoln it was getting time for him to get ready, and they'd explain to him what his role in all of this was. Haiku wished him luck and Lincoln found himself being dragged away back out towards the Barn at the front of the land.
Sheila was waiting at the entrance of the barn next to a hay barrel that had a few items piled on it. Wayne along with the two other men stopped Lincoln in front of her, before they were already grabbing at the boy's shirt.
“Alright Lincoln, come on now, we gotta put on a good show here, nobody wants to see a bashful wolf, get the shirt off!” Wayne joked as he pulled at the hem of Lincoln's shirt.
Lincoln looked embarrassed putting his hands up over himself in reply, “Is this part really necessary? You haven't even told me what the heck I'm doing yet!”
Sheila smirked as she folded her arms under her large chest and replied, “Yes it's necessary. We have a lot of women out there and a few men who want to see our wolf in all it's glory! Besides, it's not just for you, it's for the Doe as well!”
That caught Lincoln's attention, he stopped squirming before looking towards Sheila with a questioning gaze, “The doe? Alright, you really need to tell me what I'm doing here.”
Wayne patted Lincoln on the shoulder before giving a nod, “Of course Lincoln, we're just having a little fun teasing you. Alright, here's what's going to happen. We're going to dress you up a little and paint some sigils on you. I'm going to end up giving a speech about the symbolic nature of winter coming and our survival. You're going to be the wolf, you represent all of us, the predators who rely on the sacrifice of other creatures to survive the lean times.”
Lincoln nodded a little, before he followed along and pulled his shirt off, putting it aside. The reaction from Sheila was to squeal and pat his abs appreciatively, he flushed some but ignored it, looking to Wayne, “Alright, that makes sense, but uh, what am I supposed to do?”
Wayne continued as Sheila picked up some blue body paint and began to apply it with her fingers to Lincoln's torso. The older woman making swirls and sigil, patterns over his flesh, “Well, this is the fun part for you. We have a girl whose been chosen to represent the doe. The prey of the wolf. A pretty blonde one that's volunteered for the role. All you have to do, is go out into the woods, catch her, and bring her back.”
Lincoln felt his heart skip a beat. He had to go out and catch a pretty blonde girl? Lucy hadn't mentioned this part of the ceremony to him. Was she trying to set him up with someone? He tried to play it cool, but the nervousness in his voice was unmistakable, “S-s-sounds easy enough... that it?”
Sheila stood up from where she'd been applying more patterns on his chest, putting her hands on her hips, “Lincoln! Come on now, you're a young man! You should know the symbolic implications here! To have a girl personally select you as her wolf? That's something special! I did the same thing for Wayne 10 years ago and we're married now!”
Wayne, actually gave a sheepish smile and blush before he shrugged and nodded, “That's right Lincoln. You're supposed to have fun with this. Our party starts the moment you run into the woods, we'll be having a good time waiting for you to get back with her. So don't be in such a rush, this is a good opportunity for you..” Wayne winked at him then.
Lincoln felt his heart begin to pound a little as he gave a nervous grin and nodded. There was a girl out there? A pretty blonde one that had selected him personally? When did this happen? Was this why Haiku and Lucy had been so coy and secretive about everything? He actually felt a little excited.
The two other men present were now affixing a wolf hat to his head. It looked to be an actual wolf's head that had been preserved, going over the top of his own, it's fangs poking out over his forehead. The body of the wolf ran down his back. He thought he might look a little silly, but then these folks had been nothing but friendly to him so far, he wasn't about to poke fun at their religious rites. Particularly when they seemed to be doing him a favor.
Lincoln cleared his throat as they prepared him, and struck a dramatic pose, “Well, if that's the case, I'll be the best damn wolf I can be, and take my time bringing that pretty doe back to camp!”
Wayne and one of the other men clapped him on the back, “That's the spirit! Now Gene and Ed here will take you to your position, Sheila and I have to make a few more preparations but we'll be out there soon enough!”
Feeling even more invigorated and excited than before, Lincoln allowed himself to be led off back to the clearing in the woods by the other men.
By the time everyone had arrived and was gathered, Lincoln had noticed some more of the actual 'Pagan' parts of the Pagan people were now visible. More than a few had put on black robes, though it wasn't universal. He saw many with different implements, candles, anthames, staffs, and other things that made him realize he was dealing with a bunch of people who honestly truly saw themselves as witches.
It didn't make him feel nervous or afraid, but it was a reminder he was not in his own normal element. Yet everyone seemed to be in a positive mood, talking quietly and laughing with one another, and when Gene and Ed brought him out to the central circle, a great cheer issued among the crowd with whoops, hollers, clapping and even a few cat calls!
Lincoln decided to play along, even if he felt a little silly and raised his hands up like a celebrity embracing his fans. This seemed to get a good reaction from the crowd.
A few moments later, Sheila and Wayne made their appearance, Sheila had added a few items to her outfit. A dark funeral veil covered her face, and a long black cloak trailed behind her, festooned with black roses.
Wayne had a black cloak on as well, along with a laurel leaf upon his brow and a walking stick, more of a staff really, in one hand. In the other was a microphone, and Lincoln realized there had been some speakers set up near a cleared area, where the elders, including a few Lincoln hadn't seen yet, gathered together.
When Sheila and Wayne took their place at the head of the cleared area, the crowd fell silent and seemed to focus all their attention on the couple.
Wayne brought the microphone up to his lips, tapped it a few times to make sure it was on, and then spoke, “Good day everyone! I just want to say first off, Sheila and I are so happy to see so many of our friends and family joining us for the fall ritual, and quite a few new faces too. We hope the Goddess blesses you all, and that everyone has fun tonight.”
Wayne and Sheila then went on giving a general greeting and welcoming speech to everyone who was present. He also outlined some rules about what was allowed on the land, where the garbage cans were, where the bathrooms were and some brief news involving other things in the coven. It was things that Lincoln didn't really have any personal connection with. But eventually, Wayne said it was time for the ritual to begin... and that's when the drums started.
Yes, the drums. Lincoln became aware of a drum circle having formed, putting out a slow and ominous rhythm as Wayne's voice suddenly changed, becoming much more serious in tone.
“Those of us who follow the old ways, who understand the true path of nature do not take the changing of the seasons for granted. For while modern technology has made our lives easier, and the ability to survive the changing of the seasons much more manageable, the Goddess would not want us to forget, that at any time she could take it all away. At any time she could cast away our modern toys and force us to return to the harsher environment of old. When the harvest happened, and the long winter was set to come in. When food became scarce, when meat was difficult to find, and where death lurked around every corner...”
Lincoln was a little taken aback by how the festivities had gone from being so lighthearted to suddenly being so serious, but he kept his mouth shut and listened.
Wayne continued “In this environment, we are all forced to become wolves. For while we play at being nice, while we play at being civilized, the truth is within every human being is a Predator. One that will hunt and kill and conqueror in order to survive. That is the way of nature though, the Goddess is both kind and cruel. Life is both wonderful and bloody.”
Solemn nods and agreements came from the congregation as they focused their eyes on Wayne and Sheila. Wayne handed the microphone to Sheila who took it up and continued.
“The Goddess, in her aspect of death calls to you to not be afraid. For while the long winter does approach, and the lean times will soon be upon us, just as day follows night, spring will follow winter. We honor her for all of the blessings she gives us.”
Sheila's voice went quiet and among the crowd the phrase “Blessed Be” was uttered.
Sheila then gestured towards Lincoln with one out stretched hand, “Today, we have our winter wolf. He is young and hungry. He represents us all, our will to live, to survive and see that coming spring. There is prey out in the wilderness for him, he only needs to find it. But maybe, what our Wolf doesn't know, is he's the one being hunted. He thinks he's out to claim our doe, but maybe she'll end up claiming him.”
This brought up raucous laughter among those in attendance, and Lincoln felt himself blushing at the implications. He was feeling more and more nervous by the moment, and he really didn't like being under the spotlight right now, but he told himself it was all in good fun.
“Alright Mr. Wolf, go on out there and hunt down your prey! In the woods a Doe waits, and we're all very hungry, bring her back and prove to the pack your strength!” Sheila finished, raising one hand up.
More whooping and hollering issued from the crowd, along with clapping. Lincoln looked over and noticed Haiku among some of them, she was smirking at him, and gesturing forward. Lincoln looked towards where she was gesturing, it was another path deeper into the woods. A sort of make shift archway made of plastic black lattice work covered in Ivy has been assembled and put over it.
Lincoln took that as his cue and ran off, giving a playful howl as he went to the cheering crowd behind him.
His blood was pumping and he was feeling anxious. Somewhere out here there was a cute blonde girl waiting for him to find her. She'd also selected him, which meant he was already starting off on a good foot here. Maybe this trip was going to turn out to be awesome.
The sound of the crowd died out behind him as his feet crunched on fallen leaves and he made his way further and further into the woods. The sun was still high in the sky, light streaming down between the branches, but in a few hours it would be night fall.
Lincoln realized he wasn't exactly the greatest hunter, no matter how many Survivalist Rip Hardcore books he'd read over the years. The most he could remember at the moment was something about Moss growing on the north side of trees. Ugh, he hoped the Doe wasn't going to make this hunt too hard for him.
After about 5 minutes of jogging down the path, he found what he thought was most likely his first clue. Hanging rather obviously from a nearby branch was a colorful strip of cloth, it had been tied there and seemed to almost be pointing him in a direction off of the path.
Lincoln stopped in front of the bright violet cloth and gave it a sniff, it carried an unmistakably feminine scent to it as well.
Okay, this must be where he needed to go. He stepped off the path, around a large oak tree, and over several roots on the ground. Picking his way through the more dense foliage and fallen leaves, over rocks and fallen branches. Carefully making his way, until in the distance he saw another strip of cloth hanging from another tree. This one a deep red.
Okay he knew he was on the right track now! This actually was turning out to be a little fun! He just needed to keep his eyes open and follow the clues set out for him. It wasn't like the doe didn't WANT to be caught he told himself.
Another few minutes and another strip of cloth later, and Lincoln caught his first sight of the beauty. She was standing up by a large collection of white birch trees, facing away from him.
She had long golden blonde hair, that flowed down to the middle of her back, long slender pale legs that were visible through the strange patch work dress she was wearing. It seemed to be made up of several different materials of both cloth and colors in long strips that hung from her waist, a kaleidoscope of colors that shifted with each turn of her hips. A central piece made up of burgundy and black, stitched together up the middle covered her torso and was visible behind the long flowing blonde hair.
She had to be about 20 feet from him. She didn't look at him, instead reaching behind herself and taking hold of a few of those disparate strips of her dress. She lifted them playfully then, and Lincoln was treated to the pleasing sight of her beautiful, pale, heart shaped rear. Snug between her cheeks was a pair of purple panties.
Lincoln froze in place as he felt his blood pump again, and he took in the sight before him. He hadn't expected the little doe to do that. She was already playing with him, and he liked it. He liked it a lot. That was a damn cute ass.
Lincoln gave another playful howl in her direction, and began to take off towards her. He heard her giggle, and then she turned behind the group of birch trees and vanished.
When Lincoln reached her, she was gone, but another piece of cloth was left hanging for him. He took hold of the cloth, then looked around at the possible other areas she could be. The chase was on and he was damn certain he wasn't going to lose.
Then there she was again! This time stretching out her long beautiful pale leg from behind another tree. Her patchwork dress falling all around it, as she seemed to pull it up in places to better show off her thigh and calves.
This time he could hear her giggling as well.
Oh, this mysterious beauty was going to be his! This girl was HOT, there was no doubt about that. He'd only seen a few glimpses of her, but she was tall and slender and curvy in all the right places, that bright blonde hair of hers practically glowed in the sun.
Her leg vanished behind the tree along with the rest of her, and Lincoln was running again, making sure not to trip over any exposed roots or rocks. Picking his way carefully, as he called out towards the direction she'd vanished in, “Come on little Doe, this wolf doesn't bite! Unless you want him too!”
A soft feminine voice responded, “Promise?”
Lincoln turned in the direction of it, only to see the beauty once more.
This time she was facing him, a dark veil hung over her features, obscuring them, but she was bent over at the waist, her hands folded behind her back. The effect was to allow him to see right down the top of her dress. It was already cut low to show off her ample cleavage, but now with how she was bending over in front of him, he could practically see everything she was putting on display for him.
Lincoln swallowed then. His cheeks turned a bright red, and he felt himself getting more and more aroused. Here he was, in the beautiful forest, the temperature just perfect, chasing a beautiful girl around. The symbolism wasn't lost on him now either, he was the wolf, ready to 'devour' the beautiful doe in front of him.
He wondered how many couples besides Wayne and Sheila had done this and ended up getting married.
Whoever this girl was, she was playful, beautiful, and clearly interested In him. He grinned back at her, a sly smirk on his lips, some of his old confidence coming back, “If you ask me nicely..”
He then took off towards her, attempting to cut her off from getting away.
He heard her giggling again, as she juked right, and then left as if to get away from him. He misjudged and missed her, but then reached out and almost caught hold of one of the trails of her dress. She squealed in delight as she began to run from him, and he was right on her heels.
It wasn't a contest now, he was faster, and wearing clothes more practical for running in the woods. He didn't even hesitate as he grabbed the pretty blonde about the waist from behind. She was laughing and squealing the whole time, he lifted her up and she kicked her feet.
Overwhelmed with sensations of amorous lust and affection, he leaned in and placed a kiss on the girl's neck. She responded by arching her back, only to give a deep soft moan that sent shivers down his spine when his teeth grazed her skin and he bit down.
Before he knew it, he heard her voice calling to him, barely breaking through the fog of lust which was overtaking him... “Lincoln, Lincoln wait, wait before we go any further...”
There was something familiar about her voice, something very familiar. His body was pressed right up against her own and it felt so wonderful though. He was hard, and he was pressed right up against that soft bottom that had been teasing him moments earlier. It was pressing right back against him, softly grinding back.
He didn't want to listen to that familiar tone, that part of his brain that was screaming at him now to stop, stop what he was doing and listen.
He just wanted to kiss this pretty girl some more and feel her soft warm body against his own. But his reason was soon winning out, that voice wasn't sitting well with him.
The girl squirmed in his grasp, turning around to face him. He felt his anxiety begin to rise up as more and more about her became familiar. He already knew what he was about to see, but his mind refused to process it, even as the rest of him knew the answer.
The pale skin, the long legs, the shape of her rear, the length of her hair. Then she lifted the veil and smiled at him.
Lucy, it was Lucy.
The doe was Lucy. Lucy was the cute girl with blonde hair.
It had been the blonde hair that had completely thrown him. Lucy didn't have blonde hair. Lucy had black hair. She'd dyed her hair black from the moment she was able to. When and why did she suddenly decide to bring her natural hair color back?
Lucy continued to smile at him, her eyes still hidden by what were now lustrous bright blonde bangs. She had both arms over his shoulders, “Sorry for the deception Lincoln. You have to admit though, this was a little fun.”
Lincoln didn't know what to say. Part of him was appalled, part of him hurt, part of him confused, and part of him was still so very excited.
His bafflement must have been visible as Lucy brought a finger up and put it over his lips before he could speak, “Lincoln, don't think to hard about it. There was going to be far to many guys out here that I didn't want hitting on me. If they knew I already had a boyfriend, they'd leave me alone.”
He had to take a moment and really process what she'd just said. Boyfriend? What did she mean by...”Wait, Lucy, you've been telling everyone I'm your boyfriend?”
Lucy smirked and nodded back at him. She didn't seem troubled by this at all. She didn't seem bothered by how he was holding her, or the fact he'd just bit her neck and left teeth marks on it. She was just giving her enigmatic grin, the one that said she knew far more than she was letting on.
“I did Lincoln. After all, what sounds more effective to you? I'm here with my big brother, or I'm here with my boyfriend?”
Lincoln slowly let his hands slip down and away from his sister's body. He didn't know what to think right now. His world had been turned temporarily upside down. He'd been led to believe he was out here to chase down and capture a sexy blonde girl who'd asked specifically for him.
Well all of that was true, it's just the girl had turned out to be his damn Sister!
The worst part? He was still hard. Finding out who it was hadn't kicked in enough to send his little soldier back to the barracks. That was frustrating.
He turned away from her and slapped his hand to his forehead.. “Lucy! Why!?”
“Don't be like that Lincoln. You might not have agreed if I told you everything up front. I really wanted to come here, I just knew I'd have to add an extra caveat in order to make sure I could enjoy myself without worrying about unwanted advances.” she responded.
He sighed heavily and then sat down on a log, his arms resting on his knees.
He became aware of his sister's soft body suddenly pressing up against him from behind, the sensation of her warm breath on his neck as she whispered in his ear, “Lincoln, there's nothing to be ashamed of. You did the ritual the way it was meant to be, that's the most important part. You've done nothing but be everything I could want so far, I'm deeply sorry for not telling you everything. I just didn't want to make things too awkward for you.”
Lincoln frowned again. He was still so confused, confused at everything that had happened. This had all been part of Lucy's plan? She'd wanted him to come out here and pretend to be her boyfriend, just so she could avoid some other guys hitting on her? And she didn't want to make things too awkward either?
He looked over his shoulder at her, his cheek resting in his left hand, “Well, it's a little late for that now Luce. I'm kinda feeling all kinds of awkward at the moment.”
She didn't lean away, she didn't pull away from him. She stayed exactly where she was, her body on top of his own, leaning over him from behind. Her lips so close to his cheek now, he could feel her eyes taking him in even if he couldn't see them. “Do you think you would have felt less awkward if I wanted you to act like my boyfriend from the beginning?”
Lincoln had to think about that one. He frowned again, and then shook his head, “Actually no, that probably would have been worse.”
Lucy smiled once more and nodded, “Exactly. So this was the best way to do it. You acted completely naturally, like yourself in all ways. I made sure the right people knew you were with me, and this little ritual did the rest of the work. The rest of the night and tomorrow we can continue like we always have.”
That part was starting to make a little more sense to Lincoln now. It was true, he hadn't had to do anything too embarrassing, he just followed her around, helped her out, and chatted along side of her like normal. The oddest part had been doing this ritual, and really Lucy had just said she'd wanted him to do it the right way, so that's why he had to go in not knowing what was happening.
He kicked his feet out, sighed and leaned back, tilting his head up to look at her again, “Alright Luce, I guess it's not that bad. Though I'm kinda sad the girl I had to chase around was my sister.”
Lucy smirked at him, her hands now on his shoulders as she looked down, her bangs falling away from her eyes and almost seeming to provide shade for his own the way their shadow fell over him. He could see up into her beautiful deep blue eyes once more, and found himself transfixed yet again.
“Are you saying you don't think I'm hot Lincoln? That it didn't make you excited to be teased by a pretty girl?”
Lincoln couldn't look away, even as the question made him feel a little uncomfortable, “Well no. It did excite me but--”
“But nothing.” she interrupted him. “What matters is, you had fun. You enjoyed it. It doesn't matter that it was with me. Or maybe, it's even better because it was with someone you know will always love you, and always be an important part of your life.”
Lincoln felt....confused. His heart had done a flip in his chest. Staring into those beautiful eyes, his sister's bright blonde hair all around him, and the strange logic she was using was having an effect on him.
“Maybe you're right?” He asked questioningly.
“I am right Lincoln.”
Then she leaned down and before he knew it, her lips were touching his own. She kissed him sweetly, but briefly. Firm enough her black lipstick left it's impression on his lips, but brief enough to not be overly suspect. Even if the action made his heart stir and his pulse quicken again.
Then she was leaning up once more, and standing up, her bangs falling back over her eyes. Sweeping away the brief window into her soul. He felt he could see more and understand her more when he saw her eyes, but now they were hidden and she was back to being just as mysterious again.
“Don't wipe your lips. The lipstick mark will really sell what we did out here.”
Lincoln flushed in realization, before he sat up and rubbed the back of his neck. His whole body felt hot, and he was still excited. He re-adjusted the wolf head, which had almost come loose when Lucy was leaning over him, and then re-adjusted his jeans, trying to hide the bulge that was present. Why wouldn't it go down dammit?!
Lucy looked back at him, and offered her hand, “Come on, let's get back. I'm getting hungry and you also need to help me keep the guys away from Haiku too.”
Lincoln took her offered hand, feeling the way she entwined her fingers with his own, and the two went walking back to the main group in comfortable silence with each other.
When they were closer, Lucy stopped him and made him carry her bridal style out to the main group. She'd thrown her arms around him and nuzzled in close, saying they really needed to sell it to everyone. There was cheering and more whoops and cat calls along with whistles when they re-appeared.
Lots of the men and boys clapped Lincoln on the back. Congratulating him, making innuendos and letting him know what a lucky dog he was to have Lucy as his girl. The lipstick he had smeared on his lips seemed to really sell it. More, Lucy was going among the girls, tilting her head back and showing off the teeth marks he'd left on her neck.
It felt strangely...satisfying to Lincoln.
Nobody had done that for him when he was with Melanie. There had been no great shows of them being in a confirmed relationship with one another. No moments where Melanie seemed proud to say she was his girlfriend, or ready to make sure everyone knew he was her boyfriend.
But Lucy was doing all of that. As if she wanted everyone to know, Lincoln belonged to her. He was her man. She belonged to him.
Even if it was all pretend, it filled Lincoln with a strange warmth he wasn't used to.
He had a brief flashback. Ronnie and him, 15 years old, Ronnie grabbing him by the shirt and yanking him back towards her as another girl was approaching. “Hands off! The dork is mine!” Ronnie practically snarled. He had laughed, kissed her cheek and hugged her, and asked if she wanted him to wear a name tag with her number on it in case he got lost. The pretty Hispanic girl had hugged him back tightly and huffed “Maybe” into his neck while flushing in embarrassment.
He came out of the reverie and felt a deep sadness overtake him again. Ronnie had been such a wonderful girlfriend.
Ronnie wanted everyone to know they were together too. Ronnie was never embarrassed by him. Ronnie never left him alone with people he didn't know either. Ronnie always wanted to introduce him to everyone. She firmly wanted him as a known part of her life to everyone who wasn't aware.
It seemed Lucy had similar traits in that regard. Lucy and Ronnie were both quality women. The kind you wanted to hang on to in your life.
It just sucked that he'd ruined things with Ronnie and well, Lucy was his sister.
He didn't want to complain or bring down Lucy's mood right now. She was having a good time, and even if thinking back to Ronnie again made him melancholic, he wanted to make sure Lucy had fun.
The rest of the afternoon and evening was much of what Lincoln had expected. He did in fact have to play interference a few times for Haiku, getting a signal from Lucy to go towards what ever conversation the poor girl was trapped in, and drag her away. Thankfully that only happened twice.
The rest of the evening was filled with socializing, a cook out, and some fun activities. A couple of the Pagans had brought their instruments and some camp fire songs and playing happened. He even found a couple of other Ace Savy fans and got to debate the merits of the latest movie with them.
Throughout it all, Lucy would stop in now and then to press herself against him in a hug, and then give him a brief kiss on the lips in front of the others as if to re-affirm she was with him. He didn't hound her the entire night and she didn't hound him either. They would naturally find conversations and allow the other to engage in them. But when he was alone, he could always go to her, and she would reach out and take his hand and then pull him close so he didn't have to be alone.
As the night wound down, Haiku, Lucy and himself ended up retiring to their Tent. It was getting colder now, and later in the evening. Only the diehards were hanging out in front of the crackling fires, swapping stories.
Lincoln had also become keenly aware of how much more....sexual things had come as the night went on. Couples were more often embracing, kissing and feeling on one another as it got later. Other people were clearly hooking up as well. Some of those hook ups even involved more than two people.
In a lot of ways, Lincoln was happy to get to the tent and his sleeping bag and get away from it all. Haiku, himself, and Lucy had all stripped down to t-shirts and shorts for the most part. He'd let Haiku and Lucy change before he came in, naturally.
The three had discussed the day a little, and Lincoln had admitted he'd actually enjoyed himself, before he settled back in under the warm confines of his sleeping bag.
That was when he heard the first moan.
It hadn't come from Haiku or Lucy. It had come from outside, another tent most likely. But it wasn't the only moan, another joined it in the night. Lincoln blinked a few times and sat up, looking around.
Another moan, and it was almost like they were in competition with one another. Lincoln looked towards Lucy and then Haiku.
Haiku raised her hand up in a dismissive gesture, “You have to expect this sort of thing at an over night Pagan gathering. Pagans love to fuck.”
She said it so simply with a smirk, it really surprised Lincoln. This was one part Lucy hadn't explained to him at all. He sighed, settled back into his sleeping bad and tried to ignore the chorus of moans that were surrounding them.
Eventually, he was pretty sure he'd fallen asleep, he didn't know how much time had passed, but he couldn't hear the chorus of moans anymore. But something had woken him up. The sound of his sleeping bag being unzipped, and then the sensation of a warm soft form slipping into it with him...
Lucy had just climbed into his sleeping bag and settled herself in right up against him, zipping them both up together within.
He could feel her soft legs entwine with his own, the sensation of her chest pressed into his arm and shoulder, and then suddenly her head coming to rest up just under his neck. He spoke up in a quiet and groggy tone, “Lucy?”
“Shhhh” She responded, her hand coming to rest on his chest, her body settling in, getting more comfortable as she cuddled in close to him, “I'm cold Lincoln. Will you keep me warm?” and the way she asked, the way her voice carried that soft playful feminine whine made his heart ache.
He was tired, but now he was confused and a little scared. The whole day had been one strange long mess, or illusion, or game of pretend. He couldn't quite figure out what.
“Why didn't you sneak into Haiku's sleeping bag then?” He asked honestly.
“Because I wanted my big brother to keep me warm. Because I wanted him to keep me safe, like he used to when we were younger.” Came her soft reply, and he could feel her breath on his neck again.
Lincoln stared up at the ceiling of the tent, it was almost pitch black. He'd moved his arm to allow Lucy to snuggle into the crook of it. To get closer so she was more comfortable and he was more comfortable, the effect was them cuddling even more now. Lucy nuzzled her head into his chest as she sighed softly and spoke again.
“Why did we stop doing this Lincoln?”
Lincoln waited a few moments, letting the question linger in the air before he responded, “Doing what?”
He could tell she was looking at him now, in the darkness, “Cuddling like this. When ever I had a bad dream you let me come sleep with you in your bed. You used to let me lean against you, or hug you anytime I wanted. What happened Lincoln?”
Lincoln felt his heart squirm in his chest. He wasn't uncomfortable, he was very comfortable, and his body was confused. His emotions were storming in him now, strange feelings he couldn't put his finger on. “I don't know Luce....I guess maybe we just got older.”
He heard her sigh as her head settled back down on his chest once again, “There shouldn't be an age limit on a little sister wanting to cuddle with her big brother.”
Lincoln didn't have a great response to that one. But he knew things were different. Back when she'd been small, and didn't have breasts and didn't have an ass really, and back when making his dick feel good wasn't one of the top priorities on his mind, yeah cuddling with his little sisters had been fine.
But was she right? He kept going over this again and again. Lucy didn't seem like she had any problems cuddling with him. He always seemed to be the one second guessing things.
“Maybe there shouldn't be. I don't make the rules though.” He gave a shrug.
“I've never been one to follow every rule put before me without question, you know that Lincoln.” she replied.
He knew that was true in many respects. It wasn't that Lucy was some great anarchist and rule breaker, but she was definitely a non-conformist and did what she wanted, regardless of what anyone else thought.
He gave a slight smirk, even though he knew it wasn't visible in the dark, “Suppose you're right there Luce. You march to the beat of your own drum.”
“So do you.” she suddenly replied.
That caught him off guard, and he suddenly felt more self-conscious than he had in a long time.
“I don't know Luce. I'm pretty sub-par.” He responded.
“No your not.” Came her reply, “You are not. You are my wonderful big brother. The most kind and selfless man I've known in my life. You're intelligent, and thoughtful, clever, creative, and funny. Anyone who knows you is lucky to have you in their life.”
Lincoln felt himself caught off guard by that sudden admission from his younger sister. His whole body was flushing, and it made him feel bashful. He had gone silent, taking in her words. She really believed it too, that was the most surprising thing. Everything she had said he could tell she 100% believed.
He didn't know how she could look at him and think those things. With all the failures he'd stacked up in his life. He opened his mouth as if to say something and already Lucy was cutting him off.
He could hear pain in her voice, “The problem is, you don't see it. One day we're going to have a conversation about that Lincoln, but not tonight. Tonight I just want to enjoy what a wonderful day I had with my favorite person. I want to enjoy cuddling with my big brother, and feeling warm and safe with him while I fall asleep.”
Lincoln couldn't even say anything to that even if he wanted to. He couldn't believe everything Lucy had just said. She really was wonderful. He didn't deserve her as a sister. The only thing he could do, was to lean down and place a kiss atop her blonde head.
That seemed to be the response she wanted, as he felt her clutch his shirt tighter and then nuzzle her cheek against his chest.
He settled back then and tried to sleep.
Twenty minutes later, he was certain Lucy was asleep. But he couldn't.
He couldn't because he had a raging erection that would not go away. He was hard, so very hard, and it was all due to the soft sweet feminine form that was hugged so tightly to his own. The whole day earlier hadn't helped, the flash of her ass and her cleavage.... even knowing who they belonged to... and now with her so close to him in the dark.
He needed to get off, he had to get off. He wouldn't be able to sleep, or focus or do anything unless he got off.
But Lucy was right there with him, he couldn't move and get up or it would wake her up. He was stuck.
So he did the only thing he could do.
With his free hand, he reached down to his shorts, and jerked himself off. Slowly, carefully. As agonizing as it was, and as much as he hated himself for doing it with his sister right next to him, he knew he wouldn't be able to think right if he didn't take care of it.
It took him far longer than he wanted, and he had to stop a few times when he thought she was about to wake up, but somehow he managed to push himself to orgasm, and made a mess in his shorts, all while his sweet sister hugged him so close and nuzzled her head into his neck and chest.
As dirty as he felt for doing it, and loathing the fact he'd used her as his own spank material...he fell asleep shortly afterwards.
He was never aware of the soft smile his sister held on her lips when he had finished. Or the soft kiss she pressed to his neck when he passed out five minutes later.
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The Shadow of his Heart