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A Woman After My Own Heart	By : AberrantScript Category: +G through L > The Loud House Views: 3876 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House and make no money off this work of fiction.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
Author's Notes:
I've really held myself back when it came to the sexiness because I didn't want to scare away any potential readers, but I'm afraid my chains are falling pretty quickly...
Disclaimer: The Loud House Copyright Nickelodeon (2017)
Chapter 4: A Good Feeling
The world seemed still as Maggie trudged along a sidewalk; like the eerie silence before dawn… when everything still slept and birdsongs held their peace.
There was no need for Alfred to lie for her today. After coming home late at night, she'd dismissed him so they both could handle the situation in their own ways. She never talked to him about his personal beliefs, but she knew from childhood that he prayed.
And last night before going to bed, she'd roamed aimlessly through their home; so huge and so empty, it left her feeling claustrophobic. On her way through the wing where his bedroom was, she'd heard him and paused.
She'd put her back to his wall and slid to the floor, holding her knees to her chest.
Alfred was the most accepting person she knew. His prayer was so simple and sincere, she found herself in tears: not begging God to spare his friend, her father, but rather asking that God help little Maggie to handle the situation.
As she stood at an intersection, waiting for her turn to cross, she looked down at her arms and could imagine to herself the bandages that were wrapped around her wrists beneath her blazer and blouse. Though the wounds stopped hurting long ago, they suddenly itched and stung in her mind as wet, hot tears began pooling in her eyes.
She didn't deserve Alfred as a friend. He was so strong, always caring for her needs above his own.
And what did she do about it?
A flash of silver crossed her mind, followed by a splattering of red droplets in a pristine, porcelain tub. The running of translucent water, the rush of lukewarm pain, and the sting of antiseptic dabbed onto fresh cuts…
She couldn't face her problems head on. It was often easier to let others face them for her. She could stand back and follow wherever they led her. She could stifle her own ambitions and desires until she felt suffocated. She could swell up with angry frustration until she was ready to burst!
And then, bleed it out of her system until she felt light again.
It had worked for two years, but she was totally unprepared for yesterday's events. She'd always imagined it'd hit her all at once. She'd be called to the morgue with her mother and a week later things would slowly go back to the dark, dreary life she called her own.
She didn't expect him to live through it… well, live is too strong a word to explain the struggle and fight her father was putting up for every breath he took.
She hated herself for thinking this; that she wished he'd just make up his mind, to live or die already, because it was driving her mind insane with uncertainty!
After fifteen minutes of walking, she looked up and found herself staring at the doorway to a certain coffee shop.
Whether it was fate or destiny or heaven itself that led her to this place, she could freaking care less.
But while she was here, she might as well get a caramel mocha, large, with a sticky-note.
As she stepped inside, her hand fell upon her pocket, where her own pad of notes lay. And the barest crook of a smile tinged the edge of her lips.
Luan was standing inside a gas station.
Her hand trembled as it held a ten pack of condoms.
Her feet felt dead as they shuffled toward the counter.
It wouldn't come to it, she'd promised herself that morning.
But she couldn't stop herself from stepping inside the shop when she saw it on her way to work.
She sighed as she dropped it before the cashier.
The old woman tried to give her a reassuring smile.
"Oh, come now, dear, those are supposed to be fun, you should smile while buying them."
She was just trying to be helpful and lift her spirits, and Luan gave her a weak and terribly-fake smile in return.
You know, Jesus Christ's freedom was sold away for the price of thirty pieces of silver.
Luan couldn't help but feel she'd just sold away her own freedom… her own virginity, even… for 8.99 plus tax.
When Maggie entered the shop, she was greeted by a cheerful white-haired boy.
"Hi! Welcome to-"
She toned his voice out. It was nothing personal against the poor guy, but she was only there for the coffee… not the swirly ponytails, the yellow scrunchies, the adorable smiles, and the sticky-notes.
She sniffed as she stepped into line behind a blonde with a crazy blue patch of hair in her bangs.
She was only there for the coffee.
"Hi, Mystery~" called out a pretty cute barista as she stepped up to the counter beside Mr. White-Hair.
She gave no indication that she acknowledged the woman's greeting, and she seriously wasn't smiling on the inside either!
"What'll you have today~?" Luan leaned over the counter with lidded eyes.
Maggie sniffed again, keeping a straight face through it all. Was this sexual harassment?
…well, it was nothing worse than the sinful thought that suddenly floated into Maggie's brain as she noticed how the barista's tucked-in shirt stretched a little tight in, uh, interesting places.
Maggie blinked her eyes to clear away the image and was faced with Luan's dorky smile and pink cheeks.
"I'll have a large caramel mocha with-" She bit her lip to stop talking, feeling a faint blush tinge her cheeks.
Oh, gosh, she'd almost asked for a sticky-note! Idiot!
Luan looked up from her notepad and raised her eyebrows. "And what…?"
Was Mystery blushing?
"N-nothing."
You're blushing, you fool!
Maggie paid and took her seat at the same table. She didn't know why she ventured there instead of anywhere else. Maybe the seat was comfy, or the lighting was just right, or the presence of a window-view was to her liking. It could've been anything really. Literally anything at all…
She sighed as she put her hand in her pocket and felt the pencil and sticky-note pad inside.
There was no way she could draw at home. With her father likely lying on his very deathbed in a sterile hospital room, she couldn't fight the overwhelming guilt.
But, she had a feeling that… that maybe…
Maybe she could draw here at this coffee shop.
So, she bought the same thing, sat in the same seat, and let her mind wander to the blast of emotions she'd felt yesterday morning.
She pulled out her daily planner and flipped it open to the first page and gazed fondly at the doodle. So, the girl wasn't a great doodler and she liked terrible puns.
Heh, two could play at that game~
Luan was making her victim's order when she noticed how Luna was nearly drooling on the counter. She sighed and shook her head.
"Just go talk to her already."
Luna turned toward Luan and her head fell.
"I can't…"
Luan's eyes turned sympathetic; her finger still pressing on the fill button.
"Oh, Luna, sure you- YOW!"
Luna sighed as she watched the woman dance around, blowing on her scorched fingers.
"I guess I'll get the mop."
Luan didn't know why she said it, but the pun fell out from her lips before she even thought it…
"So you can clean up my act~ Get it!?"
…and it felt like the most natural thing in the world.
"They're totally hot for them," said Ronnie Anne.
"Totally," replied Lincoln.
"And she had the nerve to hound us about condoms. Geez, if she was a guy she'd totally bone the blonde."
Lincoln laughed. "And if Luan was less oblivious maybe she'd notice how that brunette looks like she wants to get boned by her."
Ronnie Anne looked at Lincoln.
Lincoln looked at Ronnie Anne.
"You thinking what I'm thinking?"
Lincoln gave her a fist bump as he pulled out a permanent marker and a condom packet.
"Let's do this thing!"
Luan was getting better when it came to Mystery. She'd only burnt herself once and finished the order on her second try. She nearly spilled it though… a very close call… when she started giggling so badly she just about threw the boiling cup in the air in her fit of laughter.
Thank goodness Luna was there to swat her head for being too giggly.
Heh, too giggly… those are two words she never thought she'd associate with herself again.
It must be this coffee shop. Outside of these walls the world caved in and pushed her into a little box of terror. But inside she felt different…
She didn't know what kind of different, but it was good.
She didn't even try to struggle with denial. She knew it was because of Mystery, and that only spurred her on to befriending the woman. Just… something about her drew Luan in, like a magnet, like a fishing rod, like… like something, like anything! The feeling was indescribable, obviously~
She finished up her doodle and wrote down her pun in curly script.
She brought it up to her lips and kissed it.
Again, she didn't know why she did it… and that totally out-of-place tingle that ran up and down her spine as she imagined Mystery touching the page where her lips had just been?
No idea at all why that happened.
She waved the note in the air. Probably just a draft~ Ha! Get it!?
Sam had ordered a simple black coffee and a sausage and cheese biscuit, like she does most mornings. Luna had made the order a billion times before. Especially since she insisted that everyone let her take care of her number one customer~
She was sure it was probably illegal; the way she painstakingly made Sam's order to perfection each and every time; how she was a borderline stalker-psychopath hopeful-girlfriend… and they weren't even dating yet.
To make things worse, they weren't even friends yet as Luna always choked before she could get past, "Here's your order." She was hopelessly friendzoned out of the friendzone! She was more than hopeless… and she had it bad for Sam.
Sigh. Just as long as no one finds that shrine in her closet, she's ok. She was pretty sure if anyone pressed charges she could plead insanity anyway.
Take Luan for example. The girl suddenly blinked her eyes stupidly at the first customer she saw yesterday and BAM! she's suddenly a clown. She was nuttier than a squirrel in a- Oh, God, it's contagious! Anyway, if Luan was going crazy, then so was Luna…
Geez, the last time she heard Luan say a joke, they were posing in front of Luan's parents, her mom holding up a camera, after Luan's graduation ceremony. It was one of the happiest days of their lives. Her parents were pretty cool and let Luan and her friends have a little party. There were even fireworks!
Well… there would have been if… if…
Luna blinked her eyes.
It was best to forget about some things, you know? Just… just let them flutter away into the forgotten world of dead memories and replace them with positives.
Like Sam!
And how Luna was obsessing over the girl so strongly that she made the order identically every single time.
But something felt off about this one and she couldn't figure out why. She looked down at the wrapped sandwich, and then the drink. Oh well, if it was important she would've been able to've figured it out, right? Right.
She took calming breaths as she strolled over to the sexy blonde reclining against her seat.
Sam was humming Get It Hot by AC/DC, and Luna suddenly felt a little flushed.
She'd nearly kill to, uh, practice that song… with Sam… preferably in private where they can, uh, make lots… and lots… and lots of noise!
Get it hot, get it hot~ Come on, baby, get it hot!
A simple song, to be sure, but then again… sex was pretty simple, right? Especially when you've crushed on this girl for two years now and she's everything you've ever wanted and she's Merriam-Webster's definition for "smokin' hot sexy gorgeous" and she's literally right in front of you, just ask her out already!
Luna stepped in front of her and lost her breath. Sam's neck was fully exposed, curving as it relaxed backward over the chair's back. Her fingers were drumming on her long and lean thighs. Her lungs sucked in air, pushing her breasts outward.
Oh, God, Luna had to squeeze her thighs together as she memorized another image for her late night, uh, music sessions.
She coughed shakily. Gosh, she was always so chill and relaxed around anyone she met.
Except for Sam.
"H-hi, Sam, your order's done."
Sam blinked her eyes open and looked up at Luna. She smiled as she saw the girl blushing. She was always blushing, it seemed. She was obviously really shy, even though Sam tried really hard to put her at ease. "Hey, Luna, thanks!"
Luna was going to tell her that her blue eyes were the prettiest things she'd ever seen. She was going to tell her that she had a melodious voice, crafted by an angel's hands. She was going to tell her, "Hey, you like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometime~"
What she ended up saying was, "N-nice song choice. I like them, too."
Sam pretended not to notice how Luna squeaked her way through that; choosing to humor her shy barista as she unwrapped her sandwich. "AC/DC is the bomb! That song is just… kinda hot, you know, for those times you just gotta let off some steam~" She held up her biscuit sandwich to her lips and looked at her barista; only her eyes and bangs were visible to the shaking woman as she took her first bite of non-stop heaven.
It was amazing how Luna made her sandwich the exact same way every single day, and without fail it left her moaning out her content like a wanton kitten.
It was also amazing how Luna managed to keep standing as that moan surged through her veins like boiling lava, settling down in her belly and lower. Her legs turned to jelly as she watched Sam's lips wrapped around that biscuit, her teeth pressing into the meat with ease. If only you'd eat me like that sandwich, I'd die a happy woman~
But then Sam spit out her bite onto the table and grimaced. "What the heck, Luna!?"
Luna stumbled backward. What did she do wrong!? She never messed it up before!
Both girls looked down at Sam's ball of partially chewed yuck and gasped in shock.
A condom lay in the mess.
And printed on the outside in black ink was the question, "Wanna practice safety with me, babe?"
Sam's face paled as she looked up at her barista… down at her crotch (she couldn't help it!)… and then back into Luna's startled eyes. And she blushed. "I-I… uh…"
Luna growled, turning toward the counter with murder in her eyes.
Behind there, looking all innocent, stood Lincoln. The boy was wiping down a spotless area like it was the most natural thing in the world for his lazy butt to be doing right at that very moment.
And next to him, Ronnie Anne was pointing at her best friend guiltily, her eyes wide and afraid.
Luna rolled up her sleeves as she prowled towards them. She was going to kill them!
Luan passed her friend as she took her order over to Mystery. Yeesh, that's pretty rough, what they did to her.
"MILLER! SANTIAGO!"
Yep, Luan was glad she was on this side of the counter. Heh.
You know, the most curious thing happened as she drew closer to Mystery. She was growing more confident with every step. She felt more suave and bubbly as more of her customer filled her vision. She felt contentment as Mystery's eyes locked with hers. She felt… a good many things that she couldn't even name.
She even felt this funny glow behind her ribs, kinda where her heart was supposed to be.
It was all curious. Really curious.
Luan could feel her lips curving up on one side, transitioning into a smooth smirk without any effort at all. Her ponytail bobbed behind her. She put her fingers up to the visor on her black barista's cap and tipped her head toward Mystery. "Your order is served, Miss~"
Maggie didn't know why or how it happened. But the closer Luan got… the weaker she became in her jelly-knees and twiggish-spine. She was like Superwoman and this barista was her kryptonite.
Instead of acknowledging her flirty server, she focused on the expected sticky note.
It was a simple doodle of a five-petal flower with a bee swirling around it; a dotted line marking its trail.
In curly script, "Will you bee my friend?"
Maggie didn't know which was worse.
How her heart suddenly sped up at the words "Will you be my-"
Or how she felt a twinge of disappointment at "-friend?" when, for some unexplainable reason, she subconsciously expected a different word. A similar word, but with four letters attached to it like a prefix.
She acted nonchalant as she peeled off the note and laid it on the table. "Thanks."
Luan's grin was insatiable as she settled in the seat opposite Mystery. "You're welcome~"
Maggie didn't blush at her barista's suggestive lilt in her voice. But just to be on the safe side she hid her face behind her drink for a few seconds.
"So, how are you, Agatha?"
And just like that, Maggie's blush was swept away by a wave of irritation. How could someone so… so nerve-wracking be so interesting to her mind!?
Luan chuckled as she reclined back. She turned her eyes up to the ceiling. "I'll take that as a no, then?"
Maggie didn't answer because she wasn't paying attention to her voice.
Her eyes were looking at her server from overtop her cup. Luan's shirt had come untucked just a little, and Maggie could see a sliver of creamy skin between her pants and shirt. That tempting fabric was bunched up along her stomach, but pulled taut around her chest. Luan's neck was long and so vulnerably bare for her personal viewing pleasure. Even Luan's brown eyebrows, crinkled in laughter, looked tantalizing as they wriggled about~
Maggie issued a faint growl.
She… she was honestly attracted to this clown, wasn't she!?
She tried to fight it back. There was simply no room in her itinerary for a swirly-ponytailed, heavenly-coffee-making, admittedly-hot barista either way.
Then again, there wasn't room for her little coffee excursions, now, was there? And that didn't stop her from popping in for a quick drink. Why couldn't she just… entertain the idea of… being friendly with the woman?
No, and that's final.
Except she couldn't will her racing heartbeat away no matter how defiant her thoughts became. No. She had no choice but to sit back and acknowledge her growing attraction, and listen to Luan's mesmerizing laughter.
"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then?"
Maggie nodded her head. What else was she supposed to do when Luan was looking at her, so hopeful and pleading?
"Great! Well, have a good morning, Mystery."
And just like that she was gone.
Maggie breathed a sigh of relief.
Darting her eyes toward the counter to make sure Luan couldn't see her, she pulled out her daily planner and flipped it to the first page. Then, she stuck her second note in there right beside the first.
A ghost of a smile covered her cheeks as affection blossomed in her chest.
But then her smile fell into a sideways smirk as she pulled out a five for a tip. Completely overkill, but she couldn't leave anything less. Luan deserved it, and that was that.
Then, she stuck a sticky note to the bill and bit her lip in thought.
Oh, she could always come back with a pun. But you know what would really drive that curious woman up the wall?
Giving her a clue~
Ronnie Anne and Lincoln were quivering side by side as Lune tore into them for being irresponsible jerks.
She was nearly in tears; she was so angry and hurt and betrayed… and scared. She didn't want to lose Sam, especially when she hadn't even gotten her chance with the girl yet!
But now thanks to those two idiots, Sam would probably go to another woman for her coffee and sandwiches...
She sniffled as the fight left her and she turned away from them.
Luan came up then and put her hand on Luna's back, rubbing her comfortingly. She looked over at the teens and nodded her head away.
Taking the message, they left in their guilty shame.
"Luna?"
Her friend quivered as a tiny sob escaped her body.
"Sam's never going to like me, is she?"
Luan sighed.
"Don't think like that. Just go apologize to her and offer a free brownie. Girls love chocolate, remember?"
Luna sniffed as she looked into her friend's sincere eyes; tears beginning to fall down her own.
"What's the point, Luan? I can't even talk to the girl…"
She slid down to the floor and hid her face in her knees.
Luan sighed. "Ok then, Pouty McGee."
She was humming as she strolled back around to the counter and pulled out a brownie. She looked up and saw that Sam was still there; pouting and trying to decide if it was ok to eat the rest of her sandwich. Luan grabbed some wipes and a bag and started over to her.
"Hi, you're Sam, right?"
The older woman looked up and immediately her eyes dulled. Kind of like she was expecting someone else and was disappointed that it was only Luan.
"Yeah, that's me."
Luan dropped the brownie before her on a napkin, and immediately began cleaning up the mess on her table, hiding it all in the bag.
"Here, have this on the house."
Sam's eyes widened at the sweet thing in front of her.
Luan smirked just a little. Works every time~
But before she'd devour her confectionary, Sam looked at Luan with a twinkle of worry in her eyes.
"How's Luna?"
Luan bit her lip. There were a lot of ways to answer that question, but should she be that honest with this girl?
"She's… pretty embarrassed right now. She puts a lot of effort into everything she does and having that record marred by a prank was a little upsetting."
There. That was neutral enough to still be honest, right?
"Oh." Sam looked off to the side for a bit and Luan turned to walk away, but froze when Sam grabbed her forearm. "C-could you tell Luna that it was delicious like always?"
Luan nodded with a smile. "Yes, I will."
Sam smiled widely. "And tell her that tomorrow I'd rather have my food without the… added safety features."
The girls laughed, and Luan nodded once again. Oh, Luna, why were you worried? She totally likes you~
As she turned instinctually toward a corner table, where her new favorite customer was just sitting, she felt a twang of disappointment as she saw that Mystery was gone.
But there was something on the table, so she stepped over.
And gasped!
She didn't expect to be tipped; let alone that much!
But, more importantly, she was shocked to the core when her eyes took in the sticky-note attached to the five.
It… it was beautiful.
Mystery's a freaking Michelangelo disguised as a moody, frowny woman.
Luan lifted the note in the air and looked in disbelief as a fairly accurate portrait of the woman was reclining in a seat, staring right at her with a faint smirk. She was holding a glass of some colorful liquid in one hand and the letter 'A' above a trash can in her other. A simple speech bubble filled the space above her head in the prettiest cursive script Luan had ever seen.
"Here's a hint~"
Good Lord, she could even hear the smirk in that inner voice that sounded just like Mystery!
Her eyes found the woman's; lidded and taunting her with knowledge just outside of Luan's reach, almost predatorily sizing up her barista.
And gosh! her mouth was parted just a little, and Luan could see her tongue and top row of teeth, calling to her from the graphite etched onto a piece of paper.
It took Luan a few moments to remember that she was in public… at work…
Her heart was beating swiftly, pounding away at her ribs. Her eyes longed for the real thing and they cast themselves around each window, searching in vain for even the slightest glimpse of Mystery…
But it was not to be. She was gone.
So, her eyes turned back to that teasing half-smile, to those alluring eyes, to that inviting body, and that lilted voice.
She didn't have the words to explain what she felt at that moment. Just that it was good and she liked it.
And she couldn't wait to meet Margaret for the first time tomorrow morning~
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A Woman After My Own Heart