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Growing Pains	By : Kylee_Phoenix Category: +M through R > Rise of the Guardians Views: 3193 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Rise of the Guardians or The Guardians of Childhood Series, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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            "That was fun," Jack said, trying to recover from the spinning sensation he was experiencing. "Like a roller coaster for my head."
            Jamie laughed.
            "Like that time you made the track for my sled, took it through traffic. I thought I was going to die. . . but it was the most fun I had ever had."
            Jack nodded, touching cold fingertips to his lips, sighing.
            "Just like that."
            Jamie smiled, licking his lips.
            "You taste like a snow cream Popsicle."
            An image popped into his head as soon as he said it which made him regret that particular choice of wording, and he blushed again. He'd noticed that Jack hadn't made it all the way through the sketchbook. If the last thing he'd seen was the kiss sketch. . .
            "You taste like something I want more of," Jack said, grinning.
            Before he could tackle Jamie and lay a line of gregarious kisses all over his face and neck, the thoughts that had crossed his mind before suddenly came to him again, and a moment of rare hesitation gripped Jack. "But something that maybe I shouldn't have."
            The sadness that had been completely banished from Jamie's eyes by the kiss came roaring back, and he was confused by the sudden change in Jack's enthusiasm.
            "Why?"
            Jack sighed, sitting back on the bed, and Jamie followed him, plopping down next to him and hugging his knee to his chin. It was a child-like posture, and it hit home that Jamie was still balancing somewhere between Jack's territory and the world of adults, where Jack did not belong.
            Was the division really that clear, though? Hadn't he played with a young couple or two before, freshly blossoming into love and exploring the fun of childhood again? He'd even thrown a snowball at a grumpy old man on his porch who'd been yelling at the children all winter, and the man had immediately laughed and begun playing with them.
            "I don't know, it's just . . ." He struggled for the words to explain his own inner conflict with reason. He wasn't quite sure what was right yet, but something else did occur to him finally.
            "I'm dead, Jamie."
            Jamie chuckled softly.
            "You don't look dead to me. You don't feel dead."
            Jamie reached out to touch Jack's hand, and it took all the effort Jack could muster not to shrink back from the gesture. He had never felt more self conscious about his own existence, this relative state of unlife.
            "Don't I? Pale? Cold? Usually not signs of life. . ."
            Jamie laughed out loud, and it was so out of place that it startled Jack.
            "Are we even having this conversation, Jack? You're the most lively person I know. You bring life to any room you enter."
            Jamie's eyes shown with sincerity.
            "I've never kissed anyone before, and I can't imagine feeling more alive than kissing you made me feel."
            That was his first kiss? Jack kicked himself inside. What had he done? He had stolen a moment from someone that he had no right to take. Jamie's first kiss should have been with someone he could actually be with, another living, breathing human being.
            "I died hundreds of years ago," he rephrased the protest. "You and I were never even supposed to meet, not if I had actually lived my life and died like a normal person."
            Jamie shook his head, exasperated.
            "What does that word even mean? Normal? You're anything but normal, and I like you that way. Why would I want normal after knowing you?"
            The damage Jack had done to Jamie was coming into clearer focus, and his heart twisted into an uncomfortable knot at the thought that perhaps Jamie would have been better off not ever having seen Jack at all.
            "I'm not alive, like you. I can't change like you can. I can't move on. I can't grow up. This is me. This is how I will always be."
            He reached for Jamie's face when he realized that there were tears in his eyes, mixed with the cold flare of disappointment. When he touched his finger to Jamie's tear and it froze, he knew exactly why he couldn't do this.
            "I'm like a fixed point on a map, and you're the dotted line that keeps moving. I'm dead, always will be, no matter what amazing things I can do, and you're still in the process of living your life. . . and I don't want to hold you back."
            Jamie shook his head in defiance of Jack's words. The single frozen drop of sorrow had been melted by a fresh, hot trail of tears, forged by a rising wave of passionate anger.
            "This is why I locked you out. I couldn't stand the thought that I would show you what I had drawn. . . what I couldn't stop thinking about, just to have you reject me. . . And now you're looking and you're liking, but you're giving me the “it's not you, it's me” line?!”
            Jack hugged him tightly, and Jamie did not fight it, breathless and exhausted from his own fury.
            "It would be selfish of me to try to keep you," Jack implored softly into his hair.
            But I want to be kept, Jamie protested in his mind. This part of him was tempted to beg Jack to reconsider. At the same time, another part of him, the bold, brave side he'd nearly left behind, was coming back with a vengeance. He was determined to force Jack to admit the truth.
            "I was wrong, and so are you," Jamie asserted, grabbing Jack's hair and pulling his head back so that he could look him in the eyes when he made his next accusation. "You're just afraid of being left behind."
            Shock and fear colored Jack's face, and Jamie was instantly ashamed of his own aggression. His grip on Jack's hair loosened, and Jamie stepped back, giving them both some room to breathe.
            "When I told you that was my first kiss, you looked guilty, but there was something else. . ." His tone softened as he put the pieces together, realization dawning on him. "It was your first kiss too, wasn't it?"
            Something clicked into place as Jack, stripped bare and feeling more naked than he'd looked in Jamie's sketches, peered back into the spreading warmth of Jamie's compassionate brown eyes and finally answered with one simple, desperate word.
            "Yes."
            Jamie reached out to lay his fingers gingerly against Jack's face, palms sliding into place slowly to cup the winter spirit's cold cheeks. Jamie's hands burned against Jack's face, and he could feel himself melting helplessly under the touch. Their eyes met and locked, Jamie asking a silent question. Do you want this as much as I do? Jack's eyes reflected back the answer. Yes.
            Jamie pressed his lips into Jack's tenderly. Jack found his own bravery and finally began to push back against Jamie's gentle assault. They fell back on the bed, and soon the kiss turned into a tousle. They wrestled with each other, like old times, laughing, and Jack finally managed to pin Jamie down underneath him. Jamie looked up at him, grinning from ear to ear.
            "Would you like to see more of my sketches?"
            Jack smiled, and this time his one word answer was filled with renewed confidence.
            "Yes."
            Jamie reached over and grabbed the sketchbook from the nightstand, leafing through it and opening it up to a specific page. He handed it to Jack, and the winter spirit drank in the scene, swallowing hard when he realized what he was seeing. This drawing depicted them in a similar sort of wrestling pose, Jack perching on top of Jamie, but they were both naked. Jack had a full erection and appeared to be preparing to insert it into Jamie.
            "I always pictured you topping me," Jamie bucked his hips up into Jack's, and the Guardian felt Jamie pressing against him, hard and hot. He realized his own pants had become a little tight, and he was not quite sure what to think of that development. Jamie caught the surprise on his face and was instantly curious.
            "Have you never gotten a hard-on before?"
            The embarrassment and timidity had left Jamie. He seemed to be back to his old, brazen, honest self, encouraged by the kisses they'd shared and quickly outgrowing his previous confusion. Now Jack was doing all the blushing and fidgeting. He sat up and ran his fingers nervously through his hair as he answered.
            "It's, um, been awhile, but yeah." He studied Jamie for a few moments, searching his eyes and hoping what he was about to say would not be too devastating or disappointing. "Thing is, I'm not sure if I can do those kinds of things with you, physically, I mean. I really want to, but. . . "
            Jamie smiled, seeming undeterred.
            "We'll figure it out. I'm not worried about it. The fact that you even want to, well, that means a lot by itself."
            Jack smiled, looking back at the sketches and remembering the question he'd had earlier.
            "How did you know what I looked like naked, anyway?"
            Jamie shrugged.
            "I didn't. I just remembered what you looked like in my dreams. My mind kinda filled in the missing pieces, you know?"
            "Dreams. . ."
            That's how Jamie had known what he looked like. The only person he knew who had power over dreams was Sandy. Why would The Sandman put those kinds of images in Jamie's head? Did the Man in the Moon tell him to? If that was true, then maybe he'd meant for Jack to be with Jamie. Something about this didn't add up, though.
            "What is it, Jack?"
            Jack began to explain his thought process.
            "Your drawings aren't just good, they're accurate. And if you got these images from your dreams-"
            "Then Sandy must have put them there," Jamie finished, realization dawning on him too. "Why would he do that, though?"
            "I'm not sure, but we're going to pay a visit to The Sandman to find out."
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Growing Pains