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Being Human	By : RotSeele Category: +G through L > Invader Zim > AU/AR-Alternate Universe-Alternate Reality Views: 2485 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim. I do not make any money from this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Being Human
- 2-Two
- 3-Three
- 4-Four
- 5-Five
- 6-Six
- 7-Seven
- 8-Eight
- 9-Nine
- 10-Ten
- 11-Eleven
- 12-Twelve
- 13-Thirteen
- 14-Fourteen
- 15-Fifteen
- 16-Sixteen
- 17-Seventeen
- 18-Eighteen
- 19-Nineteen
- 20-Twenty
- 21-Twenty One
- 22-Twenty-Two
- 23-Twenty-Three
- 24-Twenty-Four
- 25-Twenty-Five
- 26-Twenty-Six
- 27-Twenty-Seven
- 28-Twenty-Eight
- 29-Twenty-Nine (Epilogue)
- 3
- 4
- 5
Four – Dib’s POV
I honestly didn’t know what to expect as I loaded my car up that early morning. I kept glancing over my shoulder – even above me – for signs of Zim’s presence, but he didn’t show himself. That in itself scared the shit out of me. I didn’t know what he had planned. He could’ve wired my car to blow, he could’ve hidden himself among the stuff I was taking with me, any number of possibilities reared their ugly bulbous heads as I packed my car. It was about two hours on the road that it hit me – I had actually gotten away from my rival unscathed. I almost had to pull over onto the side of the road because I was laughing so hard I was crying.
I was free.
I was free!
For once in my life I was free of that selfish psychotic bastard alien!
I think I scared the other drivers on the road because I had this huge, stupid grin on my face. Life, in this moment, was grand. It took me a little over six and a half hours to reach the university. It took me another hour to find my dorm building, a decent parking spot, and find my room. The door was already propped open, meaning my roommate was already there. And indeed he was. He was a little shorter than me with spiked blonde hair dyed a stupid shade of grass green. His skin was a dark brown, like he’d spent too much time in the sun.
“Uh,” I stared, “hi. I’m Dib.”
He glanced up at me from the suitcase he was unpacking. His eyes were a strange shade of violet, and I think his pupils were slitted like a cat’s. I say I think because it was a split second between my quick assessment of his face and his wide grin.
“Hi!” he said cheerily. “I’m Lyse.”
“Lice?” I asked, feeling that rock of foreboding drifting down to my stomach.
“No. Lie-Say.” He smirked. “You’re not the first to do that.”
I forced a weak smile. “Where are you from?”
“Uh, everywhere. Military brat.” He smiled. If it weren’t for the fact I’d been living with Zim for the past half of my life, I never would’ve recognized the smile for what it was – a shield for hiding something. But Lyse wasn’t setting off the same bells Zim would have, so I figured I’d give him the benefit of the doubt.
“Ah, cool,” I said, smiling to try to put him at ease. “So did you just get here?”
“Yeah, I had to help my sister unpack her stuff though, so I’m a little behind.”
“Sister?”
Lyse grimaced. “Yeah. She lives on the floor above us. You can’t miss her.”
I couldn’t help the sympathetic smile that appeared. “I have a sister too. Younger. I know your pain.”
“Seerah is older than me by a year.” Lyse complained, “but she acts like she’s younger. It pisses me off, ‘cause our mom always treated her like she was God’s gift to man.”
“What about your dad?”
“He was always deployed somewhere doing things not fit to mention in polite company.” Lyse shook his head and shrugged. “Anyway, where’s your stuff? I took the left side. I hope you don’t care.”
I grinned. “Nah. Right was always my favorite side anyway.”
“Hah hah, I see what you did there.” Lyse smirked. “I’ll help you. It always goes faster if you have help.”
“Thanks.” I said.
“Oh yeah, before I forget.” Lyse handed me a key. “For the room. The RA gave me both of them.”
I nodded and clipped my room key onto my keyring. “Thanks. You know, we might get along after all.”
“Good. It’ll make it so much easier to suck out your brains if you like me.” I stared at Lyse for a moment. I have a nervous laugh. Lyse smiled. “Dude, you really are paranoid.” He said. “Okay, no more jokes about brain suckers.”
“Ah, no, it’s okay.” I stuttered, following him out of the room. “You just said it so seriously…”
“Isn’t that how jokes are supposed to go? Seerah says I suck at human interaction. Comes from being addicted to stupid things like Big Foot, Nessie, ghosts.” Lyse trailed off. “Moving around a lot, I didn’t get to make many friends, and those I did get were into weird things.”
My laugh this time wasn’t so nervous or forced. “Hey, don’t worry. I know exactly how you feel. And anyway, all those things are real.”
Lyse gave me an unsure but game smile. I led him to my car, and we talked about said Big Foot, Nessie, and ghosts the entire time. I was surprised by how much he knew, though he kept repeating that it was all conjecture and his own thoughts and guesses. Most of those thoughts and guesses were dead on, and I wondered if he was part of the same secret society I belonged to. Lyse seemed too innocent for it, but then in my experience, it was better never to assume anything. When we finished unloading my car, I began to systematically put everything away in the drawers reserved for me. Lyse watched me, and our conversations continued. I found I liked him. Like me, he was going to be an engineering major, in hopes of one day joining his father in the military. He actually shared a few classes with me, so I figured it wouldn’t be so bad.
At least I knew someone I could partner up with on a project.
“So, should we go explore campus?” Lyse said. “I’m kinda hungry.”
I checked my watch and smiled. “Yeah. It’s almost lunchtime, isn’t it? I still need to see where all my classes are anyway.”
Lyse jumped off his bed and grabbed up his keys. “Let’s get started then.”
We barely made it outside our dorm building when there was a feminine shriek. Lyse stiffened. I turned slightly and watched a young woman jog toward us. She was pretty, tall and leggy, with expressive lavender eyes framed by locks of hair dyed pink. It seemed like every space of her ears was pierced by some kind of metal and rings shone on every finger. There was even a ring on her right pinkie toe. Besides the open-faced sandals, she was wearing a long pleated skirt and a tank top that showed off her galaxy tattoo on her left shoulder.
“Dib,” Lyse said dryly as the girl stopped before us. “This is my sister, Seerah. Seerah, this is Dib, my roommate.”
Seerah studied my face. Like her brother, I got the feeling her pupils were slitted like a cat’s, but it was there and gone before I could be sure. Finally she stuck out her hand. I took it cautiously. “Nice to meet you,” I said.
“Nice to meet you, too,” Seerah replied. Her voice was pleasant, not too high, and not too low. She flashed me a brilliant smile as she removed her hand from mine, then looked at her brother. “I’m glad I caught you. Are you heading for the cafeteria?”
“Yeah,” Lyse said, “but, you know, guys only.”
“Lyse, I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that, so I don’t have to beat your ass in front of your roommate.”
“See what I mean?” Lyse exclaimed to me. “She’s like this all the time.”
Seerah smiled at me. “If you don’t want me to come, Dib, I can go on my own. I guess my brother wants you all to himself.”
I saw Lyse’s face flush crimson. I wanted to laugh but I figured that’d get me hurt somehow. So I shrugged and said, “I don’t care. It’d be neat to talk to more than one person.”
Lyse heaved a huge sigh. “Fine. Come on, princess.”
Seerah smiled and stepped to my left side, opposite her brother. Together we walked toward the cafeteria, talking about the classes we were taking. Seerah was taking history courses with an emphasis on world and ancient civilizations.
“I’ve always been interested in other cultures.” She explained. “I want to learn everything I can.”
“Doesn’t seem so hard,” I said. “It’s a lot, though.”
“Yeah, but it’s what I love. Besides, Lyse would have a fit if I was in even one of his classes.”
“Damn straight,” Lyse grumbled. I couldn’t help but laugh. They were so different from Gaz and me it was refreshing. Even better, any thoughts of the alien I left behind were tossed right out of my head the moment I engaged Lyse in a conversation about physics.
Finally, here was someone I had something in common with, something we could both talk about without one party suddenly calling me a stupid Dib-monkey and immediately proclaiming the armada was going to annihilate my entire planet. Even better, Seerah listened and asked her own questions, where Gaz would’ve told me to shut up before denting my head. It was almost too good to be true.
“So, anyway,” Lyse said, “it’s pretty cool to know a friend right off.”
I grinned. “Yeah, it is kinda cool.”
Seerah smiled and said, “And fair’s fair, Dib-meister. We’ve told you about us, so you have to tell us about you.”
I pushed a slice of apple into my mouth to avoid answering right away. “Well,” I said at last, “there’s not much to know.”
“Well, tell us anyway.”
I just stared at Seerah until she smiled. “Well, my dad’s kinda famous,” I started, hedging a bit, “and my younger sister is a video game developer.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“Don’t you have friends? A girlfriend? Oh, I know!” Seerah snapped her fingers. “A boyfriend!”
I choked on my Snapple and Lyse quickly started slapping my back. “B-boyfriend?” I gasped out, righting my glasses. “I don’t have a boyfriend!”
Seerah cupped her chin in her hand and studied my face. “Really? Because you seem like the kind of guy who doesn’t stay single for long.”
I felt the blush creeping up my neck. I didn’t want to admit that I never had much of a sex life. It was kind of hard to get a girl (or guy for that matter), to stick around long enough to score a home run when you had an enemy who would vaporize said potential snog partner for the sake of continuing the little war we had between us. And even then, I just hadn’t had the time to be interested, mostly because I was pretty sure there was always an imminent attack waiting for when I dropped my guard. I was just thankful Zim paused long enough to let me eat and use the bathroom. I finally shook my head. “No. I’ve always been a geek, into occult and other weird things like that, so the only girl that ever spoke to me was my sister, and she was usually threatening me in some way.”
Seerah blinked, smiled, then shrugged. “Oh well. I guess that means you’re free game.”
“Would you please stop talking about me like I’m a piece of meat?”
“Oh, but you are.” Seerah said, smiling. “You are a USDA prime choice cut of beefcake and I will not let such a thing go unrewarded.”
“Don’t listen to her.” Lyse said blandly when I looked at him for help. “She was dropped on her head a few dozen times as a baby. There’s no filter between brain and mouth.”
I made a noise and turned my attention to the gelatinous mass of lime jell-o on my plate. I couldn’t help the smile that forced its way onto my face then. For the first time in my life, I had two real friends that wouldn’t end up on a missing persons poster and I was utterly free of Zim. For the first time in a long time, I could just relax and be normal. It was exhilarating.
- 3
- 4
- 5
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Being Human