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The Epic of Dib	By : Fuzzbeast Category: +G through L > Invader Zim > Slash - Male/Male Views: 2991 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: "I do not own Invader Zim or the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story."

Chapter List
- 1-Ch. 1
- 2-Ch. 2
- 3-Ch. 3
- 4-Ch. 4
- 5-Ch. 5
- 6-Ch. 6
- 7-Ch. 7
- 8-Ch. 8
- 9-Ch. 9
- 10-Ch. 10
- 11-Ch. 11 (Bonus Chapter/Deleted Scenes)
- 3
- 4
- 5
Author Note: This is the beginning of chapter 4 of this story. I promise the plot of this story is going somewhere. Just be patient! Anyway, more gay alien love, as per usual, but not quite as much of it because the darn plot got in the way!
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Chapter 4:
I took Zim's suggestion from the Waffle House conversation and got to work sewing up a cute little doll of myself to set next to 'smeet Zim'. I still had my old sewing kit all the way back from Home Ec. still tucked into my closet. As I rifled through the box, I found a couple buttons for eyes, some decent thread to use, some plain white fabric for the body and even some of the stuffing left over from when I made the first doll. What I didn't have though was any decent fabric to make the mini-clothes from. Hmm... What to do about this? I supposed I could buy some, but I didn't feel like buying so much fabric for such a pointlessly small project. I sat and thought longer. Ah ha! I know! I'll just look through the back of my closet for old clothes that are too small to fit me anymore!
I did just that, peering into the back of my closet. "Hey Dib!" Zim yelled as he suddenly burst into my bedroom. "Gah!"I yelled as I jumped, banging my head against the closet door. "What is it Zim? Is the base on fire or something?!" He looked momentarily confused. "No, no, Dib, nothing like that. I just need a few DNA samples from you." I grinned and said, "You want me to jerk off into a cup for you?" He squinted one eye. "No, nothing like that. Just let me have one of your hairs." Before I could answer he pulled out one of my hairs. "Ouch! Zim, warn me next time before you do that!" He didn't answer me at all, just hurried out the door, looking a bit worried.
I sighed and rubbed my bumped head before turning back to the closet. I rooted through the back where my really old stuff was. I soon found my old blue smiley shirt (I had since gotten a bigger sized one) and a very old trenchcoat from when I was still eleven. That would do nicely! I got to work making a pattern on paper first, then cutting out the shapes. It took me awhile to thread the needle since I hadn't done it in ages but I got it through. I started stitching up the fabric of the body, inside out so I could flip it around later and not show any ragged seams. Once I had finished, I stopped to look at my handiwork. Not bad at all! I glanced back at the Zim doll on the bedside table and a brilliant idea flashed through my mind. I quickly rooted through the junk drawer of my dresser, looking for a couple magnets. Conveniently, due to my nature of hanging on to odd pointless stuff, I had a couple small magnets in there next to my collection of tiny springs that I'd extracted from the innards of mechanical pencils in the days of my youth. I pulled the magnets apart and stuck one to the left hand of my Dib doll. I ran some threads over it to stitch it in place, then flipped the doll's body right-side out again. Time to stuff this with stuffing! After some effort, I got it properly stuffed up and stitched the small top hole closed. Perfect! After that, I added button eyes and a stitched mouth. I turned my attention to the clothes now, cutting out the shapes needed to make tiny little pants, a shirt, and a trenchoat. Once I'd finished sewing the clothes, I put them on the doll. The thought that all of 'mini-Dib's' clothes were fully removable made me chuckle.
It was still missing hair and glasses though. I dug around in my sewing box and found some black felt. I cut out some hair and the rim of some glasses and stitched those on. There, finished! Now there was only one thing left to do. I grabbed the Zim doll and cut a small hole in it's right hand using a seam ripper. I stuffed the other magnet in there and stitched it down using green thread. Then I carefully closed up the hole I had made. There, perfect! I tested my brilliant idea by sticking their hands together. The magnets stuck and now it looked like they were holding hands. That was so cute! I set them back down on the bedside table and whipped out my communicator to take a picture, which I sent to Gaz. She'd get a kick out of this.
Sure enough a few minutes after I sent the picture my communicator started ringing. I pushed the button and Gaz's face appeared on the screen. She was clearly dressed in her Bloaty's cashier uniform and looked rather irritable as usual. I'd come to realize over the years, though, that she always looked like that. I could still tell that she was amused. "Hey Dib, do you and your boyfriend spend all your time playing with dolls?" I smirked. "We sure do, little sister! That and fucking like gay rabbits, of course!" She grimaced in mock disgust. "Gee Dib, you should've put the magnets in their crotches instead of their hands. It would've been more accurate!" We both had a good natured laugh about that. "By the way, Dib, how are things going with you and Zim?" "Oh, well enough," I replied. "He's been super busy lately though, just working in his lab. He seems to be really frustrated though. I guess he's having trouble with whatever he's working on." I didn't bother to tell Gaz that he was working on a pak for me. I wasn't sure she'd like the idea of her brother having an alien device grafted into his spine. Or maybe she wouldn't care. Who knows? "Hmm..." she said, "You guys are still getting along okay, though, right?" "Yeah, we're getting along great! In fact-" "Wait, Dib!" she cut me off. "I gotta go now, my shift supervisor just walked in the door. Glad to hear you're doing good. Bye now!" she said quickly before hanging up. I smiled. I'm really glad Gaz and I get along better now than when we were younger.
Like most siblings, Gaz and I had frequently got on each other's nerves when we were kids and we used to fight all the time. Now, though, it seemed like she was the closest to me out of my family. She was the one who kept in touch with me as we occasionally sent each other funny pictures and messages, and for all her teasing, she didn't seem to mind at all that I was gay. In fact, she always insisted that she knew I was gay before I even did. It's funny, now that she was already 18 years old (a year younger than me) I kept expecting her to introduce me to a boyfriend or something of hers. She never did seem to show any interest in anyone though, and if she already had a date of some sort, she must've been keeping it to herself. Still, I wouldn't be terribly surprised if she was with someone and just keeping it to herself, my sister had always been taciturn like that.
The communicator beeped again and I hit the button. It was Gaz again. "Hey Dib, I'm on break now so I can talk. I got a message from Dad. He says he emailed you some stuff today. Anyway, check it out. I've gotta go now since I want some time to eat something before my break's over. Bye!" She hung up just like that. It always seemed that she was the one who always ferried messages back and forth between me and dad. He was very supportive of me and Zim being together, but he was just as busy as he ever was, so I still didn't see him much. Even when I did see him, even though he was friendly and loving towards me, there was still a bit of tension there. I could tell he was carefully avoiding talking about anything that might upset me when we were together, but it was rather obvious with the way he kept emailing me job positions that he was waiting rather impatiently for me to get a real job instead of being Zim's housewife all day. I still felt a bit uneasy about that issue myself, but I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to do... On the one hand, I loved my father and I wanted to please him, but I just couldn't see myself working in his lab. I knew that he still didn't approve of me being a paranormal investigator either. Besides, I wasn't really sure I'd want to do that either now. It was strange, but now that I'd finally discovered something paranormal for myself in the form of Zim, I didn't have much interest in chasing ghosts and Bigfoot anymore. I had always been a truth-seeker my whole life... My mind was just geared towards finding truths and proving things to people and I had struggled desperately in my youth to do just that. Since I had gotten together with Zim, though, it was like that desire had waned. Perhaps it was because I was really seeking recognition and acceptance that whole time, moreso than anything else, and now I finally had it. I still found paranormal stuff interesting, and I still watched episodes of Mysterious Mysteries when they came on TV but I just couldn't see myself doing that as a serious career anymore.
The communicator started beeping again. I hit the button, thinking it was Gaz calling back again, but it was Zim this time. "Hey Dib! Report to the lab. I need your assistance!" He cut off the communicator before I could even answer. Well, that was kinda rude of him. I jogged on down the hall and to the elevator. "Computer, take me to lab level 3," I said aloud. Zim's computer had been configured to listen to my commands years ago. It complied and the doors slid open to reveal Zim's form. He was hunched over his console, his face twisted in a scowl of irritation. I could hear him muttering Irken curses under his breath. He even smacked his fist against the keypad. I coughed to alert him to my presence. He looked up. "Oh, Dib, you're here. Go stand in that full body scanner, would you?" I looked to over where he was pointing and stepped into the machine. It clicked and whirred and what looked like laser light swept up and down my body. I heard it power down and Zim said, "Okay, you can come out now!" I stepped out and looked at him, but he had already turned back to his computer monitor. "Zim?" I questioned. "You can go now," he said with a dismissive wave. I didn't leave though. "Zim is everything alright?" He turned suddenly. "Oh, yes, it's wonderful. Everything is progressing great! Soon I will have success. Soon..." Somehow I wasn't terribly convinced. He sounded like he was lying. "Now go," he said again, and this time he got up and shooed me out the door.
Zim's behavior was starting to worry me. He seemed so frazzled all the time now, and he had been constantly busy over the past few months. I don't know if his research wasn't going too well or what, but he was definitely more tense now than he used to be. He seemed to be sleeping less now, and staying up longer and longer at night. Heck, I wasn't even sure if he'd come to bed at all last night! Frustratingly, every time I tried to bring up my concerns, he always put on a fake smile and assured me that everything was going well and nothing was wrong at all. I could tell something was bugging him though, but I just couldn't get it out of him.
I sighed. I'd better just go eat some late lunch. There really wasn't anything else to do. I headed up to the kitchen and got out some leftover pizza. I could see Gir in the living room, watching something on TV. "Hey Gir," I said as I sat down. "Hello, Mr. big-headed boy," he said in return. I sighed. Even though I'd managed to greatly improve Gir's A.I. for Zim, it still seemed he wasn't exactly perfect. Oh well, now that he wasn't a complete nuisance and actually obeyed orders, his other personality quirks just made him seem endearing. I picked up the remote from him and switched the channel over so I could catch Mysterious Mysteries. After watching the episode on chupacabras, I decided to check on Zim.
I went down to his lab and he was still looking just as stiff and frustrated as ever hunched over his screen. He wasn't typing or anything, just staring blankly. He noticed me approach this time. "Hey Zim, you look tense." He let out a breath. "Yeah, I do feel a bit tense maybe..." he trailed off. "Is there anything I can do to help?" I asked. He thought for a moment before answering. "When I was training back on Irk, I used to get restless sometimes and Skoodge and I would go spar for awhile. I used to pin him down and mount him too after I won!" He laughed at that last part. I smiled. So Zim actually did sort of have a little boyfriend back when he was younger! "Hey, I have a great idea!" he said as he perked up. "Since you're getting fat and lazy I should teach you to fight, and then I'll have a sparring partner again!" I looked down at my tall, completely skinny frame and shot him a quizzical look, but he just ignored me. "Come on Dib, follow me!" He grabbed my hand and led me to the elevator. "Computer, training room," he commanded.
We got off in a large empty room that looked an awful lot like a gymnasium with a padded floor. It was a round room instead of a rectangle in shape, though, and of course it wasn't full of basketball hoops or anything. I noticed a few robots just sitting in the corner, seemingly dusty and unused. Zim noticed my gaze. "Oh, they are just training robots," he said dismissively. "What we are really here for is for me to train you in hand-to-hand combat. We Irkens don't use hand-to-hand that often because we usually rely on our technology, but it's still a good skill to have. I will teach you everything I know!" He walked over to the center of the room and I followed.
"Okay, Dib, I'm going to try not to hurt you too badly, but I believe the best way to learn is through practical means. So, ready yourself!" That was all the preparation he gave me as he darted forward, his hand in a fist. I ducked to the side, narrowly avoiding his punch. "Very good!" he yelled out. I balled up my fist too and tried to punch him but he deftly dodged to the side. We kept going like this for a bit, and I could feel the energy that I used to have in my younger days when we fought all the time returning to me. Still, both Zim and I were clearly holding back at this point. I huffed and puffed for a bit, but Zim was not out of breath at all. "Alright, Dib, now that you're warmed up a bit, I'm going to teach you some more specific stuff. Irken martial arts are based more on speed and agility than on brute strength. Most of our opponents are larger than us due to our species more efficient size." He put emphasis on the word 'efficient' instead of saying small. Zim continued, "Now, if an opponent is coming straight at you, like this, then you should try to grab their fist like this and swing them around, using their own momentum against them. Now come at me." I did as he asked and he demonstrated by grabbing my hand and swinging me around. I stumbled but didn't fall. "Now," Zim continued, "it's even better if you can remember to trip them as you are doing this. Here, come at me again." I did as he asked and he grabbed me again but this time he caught my leg with one of his feet as he swung me around. I fell and landed hard on the padded floor. He walked over and helped me back up. "Now dib, try it on me." I did as he asked, but as I grabbed him to try to throw him off balance, he twisted his wrist in such a way as I lost my grip and he spun out of my grasp. I looked momentarily bewildered as I realized what he had done. He laughed. "That Dib, is how you counter that move!" "Hey!" I yelled. "That's not fair!" "I know!" he replied, "Fighting is not supposed to be fair! You're supposed to be trying to win!"
We continued to practice fighting techniques for the next two hours. He'd always teach me new stuff but then just as I was getting good at replicating the technique he'd use the counter-move on me. In this way, I was slowly learning how to both attack and defend. Zim was a surprisingly good teacher and took the time to make sure to keep reinforcing previously learned moves even when he introduced a new one. I was getting pretty tired by now, though, and even Zim was panting a bit. I playfully tackled him to the ground, face-down. It occurred to me that this position looked quite rude and I chuckled and humped him a few times. "Oh, yes...." he hissed out quietly. I suddenly remembered what he had said a long time ago, about secretly wishing I had pinned him down and mounted him back when we were still fighting. I was really too young back then to do that sort of thing, but there was no reason we couldn't have a little dirty fun now. A sly smile spread across my face.
"Zim, I have pinned you. I'm going to mount you now, whether you like it or not..." I said seductively. "Aah," he whispered. He seemed to catch the drift of my roleplay. I rocked my hips into his ass and he whimpered and struggled a bit, but not really enough enough to convince me he was seriously trying to free himself. I kept my hands over his wrists while I leaned up and licked the tip of one of his antenna. He shuddered and moaned, and feebly pretended to struggle some more, rubbing his ass against my crotch rather purposefully. What a rude little alien! I smacked his ass playfully. "Eek!" he squealed out. "Please don't hurt me, Dib!" he said with mock-fear. I leaned back down, my face close to his head. I whispered into his antenna, "I should strap you down to an autopsy table and have a look at your guts, but I might let you go if you do something for me." "What's that?" he asked, a picture of innocence. I got up off of him and pulled him to his feet. "You're coming with me," I said in an authoritative tone. I dragged him to the elevator while he continued to make weak attempts to 'escape'. I took him to a seldom used lab room, complete with a autopsy table with straps. The table even had various holes in the middle, for who knows what. "Strip!" I commanded. He complied. "Now get on there!" I pointed at the table. He climbed on there, his pak fitting easily into one of the holes, even getting into easy position for me to strap him down. I tied up his wrists and ankles, plus the strap around his waist, then used the table lever to lower the table quite a bit. This little roleplay of ours had now veered into one of my fantasies. I'd had some pretty dirty dreams of fucking Zim on an autopsy table just like this one and now, I was going to make it happen! His ass even fit conveniently into one of those holes. I couldn't help but wonder if this table was specifically made for probing anuses. That thought made me chuckle.
I leaned over Zim, looking pretty smug. "Dib, you said you'd let me go if I did something for you..." Zim said in a low, sexy voice. I grinned. "Ah, yes, I DID say that, didn't I? Hmm..." I felt like teasing poor Zim a bit more. I reached up and ran my finger up his antenna. He whimpered and shivered. "My, Zim, these seem sensitive." I stroked up his antenna once more and he moaned, twitching against his bonds. His penis had already come out of its sheath by this point and was dripping his natural lubricant everywhere. I ran my hands down his lightly muscled slender chest and rubbed a fingertip against the tip of his member. He squirmed under my touch. "Zim, you're a horny little alien, aren't you?" I slid my finger slowly down his length, drawing breathy moans from Zim. I rubbed around the puffy entrance to his sheath, which was quite slick with goo by now. He moaned and squirmed and twitched. I reached back up and gently squeezed the ridges in the middle of his cock, one at a time. He moaned loudly now and desperately struggled against the restraints. I stopped what I was doing and stepped back a bit. Zim sighed loudly. I took a look at those levers next to the table, and one of them was clearly marked "vertical" so I tried it. The table rotated up on its axis so that Zim was now vertically oriented, almost like he was standing. I worried momentarily if this was too uncomfortable, but then I noticed that those foot straps had footholds sticking out for him to stand on. Now I was almost certain Zim had made this table solely for dirty sex. That lower hole in the table was showing off Zim's ass nicely. "Ooh, Zim, I think I'm going to probe you....right here." He couldn't see me anymore but he sure did jump when I touched my finger to his anus. He whimpered.
I walked back around the now-vertical table to face Zim's front. He looked quite excited now, and his drippy lubricant was leaking down the metal surface of the table and starting to pool on the floor. I looked around the room briefly and located a small empty beaker. I picked it up and held it to Zim's penis, collecting some of that prolific precome. I walked back around to the back of the table and poked at Zim's entrance. He jumped once again. "I think I know what I'll probe you with too..." I made a point of slowly unzipping my fly, trying to make the zipper sound as loud as possible. I could hear his breathing quicken. I pulled down my pants, freeing my straining weeping cock. This whole thing was turning me on too much. I poured the goo out of the beaker and spread it over my penis. I pressed myself to his entrance, slowly pushing in. I could feel his muscles flexing as he made the cutest noises. I gave him a moment to adjust before I started slowly thrusting. "Wow, Zim, you're so tight in here," I grunted out. He was moaning softly. I picked up the pace and he started moaning more loudly. I could feel him struggling desperately. No doubt his cock was aching for someone to touch it. "Oooh, Zim, you're penis must be aching by now. Bet you wish I would touch it..." He whimpered. "Please Dib..." he begged softly. "Sorry Zim, I just can't reach it. Oh well." He whined loudly and I chuckled evilly. "Just imagine my fingers stroking you, rubbing softly over those sensitive ridges..." I whispered breathily. He groaned loudly. I continued to thrust into him, all the while he was struggling. I was getting so close; Zim's moans were more like screeches at this point. I started to thrust harder and faster, and I could feel him tensing around me. He suddenly cried out loudly, clenching tight around my shaft. I thrust a few more time, spilling my seed in his passage. I stood there weakly for a minute, propping my weight up against the table.
Once I'd regained my senses I pulled out, earning a grunt from Zim, then walked back around the table. Hilariously, his semen had sprayed all over the wall. I released Zim from his bonds and he fell forward in a tired heap into my arms. "Hey Zim, why do you have this table anyway?" I asked. He panted for a few moments before answering. "Actually, Dib, I made it specifically for us to be rude to each other with." I knew it! "Come on, Zim, let's get cleaned up. Maybe we should clean this room too. Just look at the mess you made," I said as I pointed at the wall. He turned his head toward it and laughed. He pushed a button on his wrist communicator. "Gir," he barked, "Cleanup in Lab Room 5." I followed him back to the elevator and to my bedroom so we could use the shower.
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For the next several weeks, Zim continued to teach me various fighting techniques. After I was decently proficient with hand-to-hand combat, he moved up to teaching me how to fight with the Irken staff weapons that guards typically carried (which he referred to as "Zingers") and even various projectile weapons. As we had progressed, he had started fighting with full use of his spider legs. It wasn't exactly fair as I didn't have any, but it did effectively teach me how to fight an Irken. As Zim had said when I complained about unfairness, "it's not about fighting fair, it's about learning how to fight even when you are disadvantaged." Every time we practiced, I couldn't get over how agile and fluid his motions were. Often when he fell he'd catch himself with his spider legs, only to use them effortlessly to roll back into an upward position. I found it beautiful and entrancing to watch him fight, sometimes to the point where he got some hits in on me when I really should've blocked them. A lot of these fights ended in sweaty sexy fun.
Even though he seemed better than before, he still was reluctant to tell me the truth about how his lab work was going. In fact, I still caught him occasionally banging on his console and cursing in Irken. He still denied that anything was wrong and told me progress was good whenever I asked.
I sat up in the living room this fine Saturday morning, just channel surfing with Gir. My communicator beeped at me. I picked it up off the coffee table. "Hey Gaz," I said as I saw her face appear on-screen. "Hey Dib," she replied. "Dad is coming home for a rare weekend next Saturday, and he wants you to come visit him, if you can. So, can you make it?" "Yeah, I can come," I said. It's not like I had anything else better to do. She squinted her eyes at me for a moment. "Uh, Dib...? Is that a bruise on your face? Is Zim beating you?" she asked cautiously. I reached up and rubbed at the bruise on my chin. "Huh? This? Oh, no Gaz. You've got the wrong idea! Zim has been teaching me martial arts and well, I've gotten a bit banged up during our practices." She let out a sigh of relief. "Well, I'm glad Zim's not being horrible and abusive. I would've had to give you the speech about domestic violence." "Don't worry Gaz, I wouldn't put up with that nonsense and you know it." "So Dib", she continued. "Did you look at Dad's email?" I looked down at my shoes uncomfortably. "Yeah, I did." "And?" she pressed. "Well, I mean, I'm just not sure yet..." Her face set into a stern expression. "Dib, I don't care what you do with your life, but Dad's gonna be annoyed if you don't choose something soon. Hell, he's pressuring me to do something better than work at Bloaty's. I admit I don't want to work at a pizza joint for the rest of my life, but I'm not sure what I exactly what I want to do either. Anyway, I'm not going to pressure you like he is, but I'm just warning you, he might bring it up next Saturday." I sighed. "Alright, Gaz, thanks for letting me know. I'll do my best to handle it." "Alright Dib, well, that's what I called to say, so I'll just let you go for now. Bye!" she said as she hung up. I stewed over this information for awhile. I just didn't know what to do...
I spent the rest of the day just idly reading through the Irken database once more. Zim joined me for a very late dinner at 11:00 p.m. He looked rather exhausted again tonight. His antenna were drooping uncharacteristically low and he sat slumped in his chair. The way he picked up his fork, it was almost like he was too tired to even eat. Had he even gone to bed last night?! I couldn't remember. "Hey Zim, are you okay?" "Yes, yes, I'm fine," he replied, even as his fork missed the plate and clinked against the table. He didn't even seem to notice. I was quite worried now. "Zim, sweetie, maybe you should get some rest tonight, okay?" He nodded absently. I finished up dinner and started to get ready for bed. Zim had followed me down to the hallway but he wasn't coming into the bedroom. "Hey Zim, aren't you coming to bed?" I asked gently. He nodded his assent and came into the bedroom, crawling into the bed. I laid down as well. "Zim, try to sleep the whole night tonight, okay? You really look like you could use the rest." A grunt was the only response I got out of him. I assumed he'd be so tired he'd sleep tonight so I just rolled over. "Goodnight," I said as I turned off the lights.
I woke up some time in the middle of the night. I didn't know exactly what time it was, but I felt that Zim was gone. I stretched my arm out to his side, and sure enough, he wasn't there. This was getting ridiculous! I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and sat up. I'm going to go find him and drag him back to bed! I turned on the bedside light and grabbed my glasses. I got up and walked out the door into the dimly lit hallway. I told the computer to take the elevator to Lab Room 3, but he wasn't there. I then proceeded to check Lab Rooms 1-5 but he wasn't anywhere. Where could he be?! I finally thought to check on Zim's old bedroom. Ever since I had moved in he usually spent his nights sleeping in my bedroom, but he might be there. As I walked down the hallway to his room, I could hear faint sounds of sobbing. Was Zim crying?! I approached the door to his room cautiously. Sure enough I could hear his quiet crying. "Zim?" I asked softly as I gently knocked on the door. He didn't respond, so I pushed the door open and walked in. He was sitting on the edge of his own bed, the room only lit by the glow of a few different computer monitors. He was sobbing quietly and hugging his arms across his own chest. "Zim, what's wrong?" I asked as I sat down next to him. He sniffled a few times before answering. "I'm so sorry, Dib...."
"What is it, Zim? What are you sorry about?" I asked gently. He sniffled some more. "I failed you Dib... I can't do it! I'm too stupid!" He sobbed loudly after that last part. "Zim! Is this about the pak research?" I tried to keep my tone even and comforting. Zim spoke up, "I'm too stupid to figure out how to make it work with your physiology! I'm stupid and I've always been stupid even when I didn't want to admit it! You're going to die now and it's my fault!" He sobbed uncontrollably after that last part. I simply put my arms around him and held him close. I waited for him to calm down, but it took several minutes. I stroked his back soothingly around his pak. "Shhh...Zim, it's alright," I whispered. "You're not stupid...You're an amazing person, remember?" He whimpered. "Dib, I-I can't figure out how to make it work, no matter how hard I try. The nanomachines are too confusing and I can't figure out how to make a pak that would be non-fatal to you. I've tried and tried, but I just can't do it... I've failed you!" This admission brought on a new wave of tears as he clung to me. "Zim, it's okay. It's unrealistic to expect you to be able to reverse-engineer a really complex piece of advanced technology to a completely alien species in just a few months." He didn't seem to be listening to me though as he continued crying. "Zim, hush, it's alright..." I whispered over and over again as I held him. Eventually he stopped crying and just held tightly to my chest, his face buried in the crook of my neck. "Come on Zim, let's go get a good night's sleep. Then, after we're both well rested, we'll solve this problem together, alright?" He nodded into my neck where I couldn't see it but I felt his assent. I laid him down in his bed, not bothering to return to my room tonight. I curled up next to him, and held him as we drifted off into sleep.
I awoke sometime in the morning as the base's auto-lighting system was just blinking on. I was thankful to see Zim was still there. I admired the peaceful expression on his face as he slept. The tears of the previous night had dried and his face looked so much more relaxed now. After a few minutes he stirred from his sleep, his ruby red eyes blinking open. He looked over at me and I smiled back. He frowned, though, looking sad once more. "Dib, what are we going to do? I don't want you to die..." I thought I could see the tears threatening to well up in his eyes again. "Don't worry, Zim, I've been thinking," I said quickly before he could grow upset again. He looked to me questioningly. "I'm thinking that if you can't figure it out yourself, you just need to get some help! What do you think?" He looked reluctant. "But, Dib, who would help us with this task? Is there really anyone who'd be both willing and able?" I thought for a minute or two, then I had an idea. "HEY! I have an idea! Why don't we ask that little Vortian guy for help? You know, the one who's helped you in the past by giving you blueprints and stuff." Zim's face lit up with recognition. "You mean Prisoner 777?" he asked. I nodded excitedly. "But Dib, he's in prison right now. The only reason he was able to give me blueprints for the Massive is because he already had them. There's no way he could work on this new research project from prison. Also, why would he want to help me make a pak for a human?"
Zim did have a point there. It was true that 'Prisoner 777', as the Irkens called him, was a brilliant Vortian scientist with both experience with mechanical and bio-engineering. Zim was quite smart himself and built many awesome things and had dabbled in a bit of genetic research himself, but I could understand why he was frustrated and unable to succeed in this extremely difficult task alone. "Hey Zim," I spoke up, "Why don't we rescue Prisoner 777? That way, he might help us out of gratitude and he'd be able to help us if he were free." Zim looked doubtful. "Do you really think he'd help us? And do you really think we can pull off a rescue?" I looked him in the eye. "I think it's worth a shot. Plus, he's helped you so much over the years, I think he deserves to be rescued." "Okay, Dib, I'll agree for now, but how do we go about this?" I thought some more. "Well, first things first, I don't think we can do this alone. I think we'll need some outside help." "Who?" Zim asked incredulously. I thought some more, but my ideas had run short at this point. "I'm not sure..." I finally admitted to Zim, "but why don't we contact Prisoner 777 and ask his opinion first? Maybe he'll have some good advice."
Zim and I got up out of bed and had a shower so we looked presentable. We ate some breakfast and then we decided now was as good a time as any. We moved to the living room and Zim sat down on the couch, his laptop on the coffee table. "Alright, Zim, just contact him like you did before." Zim whipped out his laptop and started pushing some buttons. "I still can't believe that you've been hacking into the Irken prison communication network for all these years and no one has noticed." Zim shrugged and said, "Eh, no one really monitors the prisoner's communicator panels that much since they are only used for guards to issue commands to prisoners. No one has ever noticed when I contacted Prisoner 777, even though I've been doing it for several years." Zim finished his work and the image of an empty gray metal prison cell flickered onto the screen. The little Vortian was sitting in the corner, looking bored before he noticed the monitor was on and looked towards us.
"What is it now, Zim?" he said in Irken, his tone exasperated. I shoved my way next to Zim on the couch until I was within the field of his laptop's camera. The Vortian looked really surprised to see a completely different person, much less one of a different species sit down next to Zim. "Who is that?" he asked. "I am the maab of Zim," I answered in Irken before Zim could say anything. The little Vortian looked quite skeptical at that, but I continued before he could say anything. "I was hoping, sir, that you could help us to build a pak for me. Zim is having trouble doing it on his own." Zim shot me a dirty look at that last part but didn't say anything. The Vortian scratched his chin a bit in thought, then finally said, "I guess it would be possible, but I can't do any new research from this cell regardless." "What if we rescued you?" I said quickly. "Would you be willing to help us then? I promise I would not ask anything else of you." He perked right up at that proposition. "Of course, if you rescued me, I would be more than happy to help you!" he said in an excited tone. "Yes," I agreed, "The only problem is that I am not sure we can be successful on our own in this task. Do you have any ideas of someone we could ask for help?" He thought for a moment, then replied. "You should contact Lard Nar. He is the head of the resistance movement, The Resisty. He is Vortian too and my dear friend. He might be willing to help you, but I am not sure if he would be willing to trust that...Irken." He shot a glare at Zim who glared right back. "Yes, just give me his contact information. Oh, and by the way, I was wondering, what is your real name?" He looked quite surprised at that last statement. "You want to know my name?" he asked in disbelief. "Yes, please, sir. It only seems right to call you by your real name." He actually smiled. "I am Rad Na, and here is the contact number for Lard Nar." He punched some numbers on his console and they appeared at the bottom of our screen. Zim wrote them down on a scrap of paper. "Thank you..." he whispered before hanging up. My Irken phrasing had been a little stiff and awkward in places, but still, I hadn't done too badly!
"Well, Dib," Zim said, "I think you had better be the one to talk to Lard Nar. I think he'd just freak out the second he saw an Irken calling him. Besides, you have a certain persuasive charm that seemed to make Rad Na like you." I didn't bother to tell Zim that my 'persuasive charm' was nothing more than being a decent kind-hearted person. "Alright Zim, go sit over there, out of the camera's field of view. I'm going to call this Lard Nar person and see if I can convince him to help us." Zim moved over behind the coffee table and sat down on a kitchen chair. I tapped on the keys, typing in the contact number, then pressed enter. The screen flickered to life after a few seconds, and a small Vortian (it seemed they were all that size) wearing some green-glassed goggles appeared. He looked at me curiously. I spoke in Irken once again since I imagined that that would be the only language that we could both understand in common. "Greetings, are you Lard Nar, leader of The Resisty?" "Why yes, I am. Are you also being oppressed by Irken rule and need assistance?" he answered in Irken. "Yes, I do need your help, but not in the way you believe me to need it." He looked a bit confused at that statement. Perhaps my imperfect mastery of the Irken language had caused me to say something weird-sounding. "Sorry," I apologized, "My Irken speaking isn't very good." "It's alright, I understand," he said. "Too bad I can't just speak English," I muttered to myself. "Excuse me?" Lard Nar said in English, surprising me. "HEY! You can speak English!" I yelled excitedly. "Well, not exactly," Lard Nar answered. "You're language has been added to the universal translator database, so that's why it seems like I'm speaking English to you." "How did you get English in there anyway?" "Well," he answered, "it was actually a file given to me by my friend Rad Na, who's in prison right now. He knows that linguistics is one of my hobbies, so he got it from an Irken invader in exchange for some weapon schematics. Then he gave it to me and I added it to the translator database. I've been adding new languages to it for years..." "Oh," was all I said. I couldn't help but think that the Irken invader Rad Na had gotten the file from was Zim. "Everyone uses Vortian technology translators now because of how good they are!" Lard Nar said proudly.
"Anyway," he continued, "what did you want exactly?" "Well, I was thinking of rescuing Rad Na from that Irken prison and I was wondering if you could help me." He looked utterly baffled. "Why would you want to that, and who are you anyway?" he asked. "Well, I'm a human named Dib, and I was hoping Rad Na would be willing to help me with something if I rescued him, and I know he's your friend and a fellow Vortian, so I was hoping you'd be willing to help us." "What exactly did you want his help with?" he questioned. I swallowed and took a breath. "Well, Zim wants help building a Pak that would work on me..." His eyes grew wide behind his goggles. "WHAT! Zim?! That dirty Irken invader!? Is he holding you captive?" Lard Nar asked with some concern. "No, no, actually we are lovers and he's trying to help me," I pleaded. "Preposterous! Irkens are vile evil creatures with no capability for love. He's clearly trying to trick you." "No, it's not like that, he's different. He really truly loves me and only wants to help extend me lifespan so we can be together longer. He's broken away from the Empire and isn't loyal to them any longer. Please help us," I begged. Lard Nar looked quite doubtful, "Well, I still find it extremely difficult to believe that an Irken is capable of love, much less becoming lovers with a totally different species."
Zim had been listening from the other side of the room and stepped into view of the camera. He spoke to Lard Nar. "What if I did something to prove it? Something no Irken would ever do unless they trusted someone totally with their life? Something to prove my love for Dib?" Lard Nar looked at him incredulously and said, "Well, what will you do?" "What if I took my Pak off and let Dib hold it?" Lard Nar's eyes widened at that statement. "You wouldn't! No Irken would ever do that!"
"You're right," I cut in. "It'd be like if a human let someone hold a knife up to their throat. Zim would never do that unless he totally loved and trusted me." "I'll do it!" Zim said with conviction. "Wait, Zim, are you sure?" I asked. "It's alright Dib, I trust you," he replied solemnly. Zim initiated the Pak's disconnection sequence and it made a series of whirring noises before it released from his back. He handed it to me, his hands shaking. I cradled it in my arms, knowing how precious it was. Instead of being cold metal like I expected, it was rather warm to the touch, almost like a living thing. Zim sat there on the couch staring at the screen, trembling with a bit of fear. I reached out and touched Zim's arm to calm him. "It's alright, I'm being gentle with it," I said softly. I held it a few moments more, cognizant of the fact that I was holding part of Zim's 'self' in my hands. This pak contained all of the Irken database's memories, including a backup of Zim's own personal memories, and it was part of who Zim was. I placed a soft kiss on the top of the pak before I handed it back to Zim. He reattached it, then stared nervously at the screen. Despite the fact that he trusted me, this experience had clearly shaken him.
Lard Nar seemed to be stunned speechless by the display. He finally spoke after a moment or two. "That's amazing... No Irken would be willing to do that even for a member of their own species, much less a different one. I - I believe you now. In fact, that display was rather...beautiful," he said breathlessly. Zim just looked down, a bit embarrassed. "Will you help us now?" I asked. "Yes," Lard Nar agreed. "I will help you. Let's get together and come up with a plan." "Alright," I answered. "Just give me a few days to prepare and we'll fly our small cruisers out to meet your ship."
Lard Nar gave us the location where we could meet with him once we were ready. We had agreed that two weeks was a reasonable amount of time for us to prepare, and I hung up the communicator. Zim was still looking a bit anxious. "You alright, Zim?" "Yes, I'm okay," he said. "It's just that - that was a very intense experience for me. You did beautifully, Dib." I smiled at him and pulled him into a hug. "You've changed so much over the years, Zim. You're a better person now than you were before. I'm proud of you." He smiled brightly back at me. "The only problem, now-" I said with a sigh, "-is that we have to come up with a way to explain to my dad that we'll be doing some inter-stellar traveling soon..."
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Author note: Prisoner 777 doesn't have a canon name, so I just named him Rad Na, which fits with Lard Nar's name since they are both named after Korean noodle dishes. Also, I didn't explain this in the story, but while Lard Nar is using a translator device, Zim doesn't use one and has actually learned to speak English himself (Irken paks help them acquire new languages more quickly than a human could). Also, please don't ask me exactly how this translator would function, because I don't know...
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The Epic of Dib