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Pedo or Xeno	By : Andyouthinkimcrazy Category: +G through L > Invader Zim > Slash - Male/Male Views: 7330 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim or The Dog Whisperer. I don't make any money off of this.

Chapter List
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Note: I apologize for yet another delay! I got writers block... so I took a break to write some Death Note fanfiction... which I promptly got writer's block on. After Christmas I managed to finish the DN one-shot... XD and now here I am finally posting a new chapter.

Also... I predicted it wouldn't be funny... >.> but it seems like it still is, somewhat. Invader Zim is just a downright hilarious show and so are each of the characters; it's impossible to completely take away the hilarity. Not to mention I wanted my OC to fit with the general wtfery of Invader Zim... Then again I am easily amused...

Lastly I'd like to thank everyone for their reviews! XD They're all very motivating and flattering. Now, enjoy fair readers!

~~~

Across the street Dib was watching the interaction with suspicion; he'd studied Zim long enough to know, just by his expressions, that he was not teamed up with the human who was with him. Zim had been trying to lose the guy with, surprisingly enough, few outbursts; maybe he was just as on edge as Dib was? Or was he back to that freaky calmness he'd attempted to maintain earlier?

Dib had wondered briefly if the guy was a Swollen Eyeball member who finally believed him; but he was almost certain he wasn't after witnessing the gentle way he lifted Zim's prone body into his arms. Not to mention he didn't even glance Dib's way when he passed.

The attention was all on Zim, the paranormal investigator noticed; the stranger hardly seemed to know where he was going as he meandered down the street. A purpose, however, did seem to be in mind; Dib continued to stalk the pair in an attempt to find out. He wondered if he could use this situation to Earth's advantage; whether this guy knew Zim was an alien or not didn't matter, with Zim's loud-mouth violence currently dormant Dib could easily see his enemy waking up on that dissection table in mere hours. He'd just have to try a few things to make that happen.

But before Dib's planning could develop into something he could act on he noticed the stranger stop and fidget in a panicked sort of way; it was then that Dib noticed why. Zim was twitching; his gloved hands flexed and his small body stretched as he fought to awaken. Whatever drug this kidnapper had used was obviously no match for Zim's alien body; he was waking up again and Dib couldn't let that happen yet!

Panicking himself, Dib darted forward and, in what might have been his stupidest move ever, he attacked. The stranger had been fiddling in his pocket-perhaps for more drugs?-when Dib kicked him in the shin; because he'd been balancing Zim in one arm he easily fell to the pavement. Zim landed on top and had enough time to sleepily lift his head up before Dib clobbered him over the head with the laptop he kept hidden in his coat, “Take that, Spaceboy!” he screamed before running off to hide just in case; but there was no need to fear, Zim had been knocked out cold.

The man considered chasing Dib down to berate him, but thought better of it; he didn't have time to deal with anyone but Zim. The drugs had been expelled too quickly to be in effect; there was no longer the assured half hour of preparation he had planned for. There was nothing to do but pick up the pace, his arms cradling Zim closer-protectively-so he could move into a smooth job.

“Unnhh...” Zim groaned, his vision swimming before his eyes as he awoke. Immediately he shut the large pools of colour in an attempt to stave off the uncomfortable feelings moving in on him. It felt like Gir had dropped something on him, like the time he'd been playing amongst the ceiling wires with a toaster; he could only thank his superior Irken body for withstanding Gir's brutality. Cautiously Zim peeked out from a lid before squeezing them shut once again; he couldn't really see, he'd forgotten to remove his contacts and they were so... scratchy and blurry and—why couldn't he move his arms to take them out!?

“Good morning, Zim.” announced a voice that sent shocks of memory through Zim's consciousness. He remembered the Seezar and training Gir; he could remember the Dib trying to ruin his plans, this annoying human and—

“Dib!” Zim hissed angrily, his bound body twisting and struggling in an attempt to find and kill the meddling human he so hated. The little alien was about to rip through his bindings with his Pak legs when the human spoke, momentarily halting his desire to kill.

“This is no time for beef, Zim.” he spoke, voice suddenly filled with a tone that Zim recognized as dangerous, though he didn't know why. Zim continued his struggle, claws flexing and curling to slice at the rope, “I want to play a game with you.”

The little alien hissed angrily, “Zim does not play your feeble pig-smelly games!” The helpless-but still mighty!-Zim continued his struggled once more until he was all but forced to stop. The human's weight pressed him into the carpet rendering movement useless, “Release me!” he demanded, green skin rubbing the carpet roughly as he squirmed for his escape.

“I just want to take care of you.” the human attempted to appeal, false kindness dripped from his voice as the fingers of one hand threaded through the dark wig, “Poor, sick little Zim.” he cooed, and the tone actually did make Zim feel a little sick; but only because humans were so filthy! Disgusting creatures like humans might even make the Almighty Tallest retch, and that was something Zim couldn't allow. He would soon rid the world of these filthy, filth-beasts so they would not be able to dirty up his leaders or any other Irken.

Growling low in his throat, jagged teeth bared aggressively, the disguised alien screamed, “You poisoned Zim!” The thrashing began anew, Zim's head tossing about beneath the human's hand and mussing up the wig; he was lucky humans were so completely stupid, not that he had the time to think about it.

“Ah...” the human mused, a smirk creeping on his face as he easily pinned Zim's small body against the carpet, “You're smarter than I thought; so I did poison the candy. I know quite a few children who take candy like that all the time.” The little alien growled again, hating how easily he'd fallen for this human's trap; curse these humans and their nasty deceptive ways!

Suddenly a thought stuck the invader and he turned wide, curious eyes towards the human; human children did this all the time? It was normal? Did humans smeets really get poisoned and tied up like this by other humans all the time? What for? Zim couldn't recall seeing the Dib tied up like this before; but, then, the stink-beast was already considered weird by his fellow humans.

Zim had to be normal for the mission. With his teeth gritted together Zim prompted the human angrily, “Speak of this game, worm-baby.”

The human's first response came from his hands; too many creepy human fingers slid over the front of his Irken uniform, “You just have to do what I say if you want to win the game, Zim. Just like 'Simon Says'.”

Zim threw the human an annoyed look over his shoulder, “Zim knows no 'Simon'.” The alien's hissed words were followed by responding laughter and the continued wandering of those fingers. Now the human was lightly tugging fuchsia fabric up to expose green skin.

“Really?” he asked at last, voice filled with amusement that irked Zim to no end, “Do your parents live in a closet? How can you not know--”

“Zim is normal!” the alien interrupted with the slightest tinge of fear to his voice; how had this human known that he kept his robotic parents in a closet? “They do... parent things in there!” he excused quickly, already making plans to upgrade security when he finally got out of this mess and returned back to the base.

“Just shut up!” The human yelled impatiently; he was fed up with Zim's talking, he was truly focused on the task at hand. Fingers tugged the little alien's shirt up to his neck, intentionally pressing roughly as he hauled Zim upright with choking force, “You talk too much,” he barked, tempted to forgo his fantasies for a mad fuck, “I'll rip out your tongue if you piss me off.” There was a warning growl from the little green being but he paid it no mind, he was in charge and everything would happen the way he wanted it to.

The human, however, had no idea just who he was dealing with! No one would know if he ripped this human to shreds right here! Sure, they'd find the body but humans would be too stupid to pin anything on him; the only one who might think anything of it at all was Dib, and he'd need actual proof. Zim could find himself a better human to play this 'Simon' thingy with him; but if that order was the worst the human could dish out then perhaps he could endure for the sake of normality and his mission. With that conviction fresh in his mind Zim allowed the human to pinch at his skin, the fingers seeming to search for something that just wasn't there.

“What the hell?” the human grumbled at last, fingers still stroking and pinching and tugging at Zim's skin, “You don't have nipples?” Zim held back a growl as the human leaned over his Pak to peer down at the smooth skin of his chest, “You must be some kind of freak of natu--”

“Zim is normal!” the Irken burst out in reply, his body beginning to squirm again from the irritating pinches; just what was this human doing? He couldn't imagine the snivelling, worthless humans being able to endure this kind of irritant without crying and begging for mercy; he could, because he was a superior Irken Invader, but smeets like the Dib-thing and his classmates were too pathetic. Frustrated Zim insisted, “You're doing it wrong!” he was sure that, whatever this was, he knew far more about it than this human did.

The words-ones that unbeknownst to Zim were a blow to male pride-seemed to break some kind of restraint that the human had been maintaining. Growling low and irritated, the human grabbed at Zim's wig and pulled back roughly; Zim hissed in response, booted feet curling as the human controlled his movements by a snagged-yet still hidden-antenna, “I told you to shut the fuck up!”

Zim felt a brief rush of fear; his breath hitched and his throat tightened as he recalled the human's threat. Grinding his teeth together so that the human would not be able to reach his precious appendage,Zim fell silent, baring the pain stubbornly while the human continued to handle him roughly, “I think you need a little reminder of who's in charge, Zim.” The human taunted, deceptively gentle fingers trailing over Zim's chest again. Of course, this fool human could never be in charge-The Tallest were his only leaders-he would only humour this stink-beast until he knew more about this 'Simon'.
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Pedo or Xeno