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Push and Pull	By : AngelaBlythe Category: Avatar - The Last Airbender > Het - Male/Female > Katara/Zuko Views: 19400 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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A/N: Just as an apology, in the last chapter I stated that Zuko is sixteen. I totally lied. He’s seventeen. I went back and fixed it, mostly because it fits with my story to have him a little older. It says on Wikipedia.org that Zuko may be seventeen by Book 2, and this continues past Book 2 a bit, so he’ll be seventeen.
Also, thanks to everyone who reviewed, and also my lovely beta who is invaluable, TanteLiz.
PUSH AND PULL
CHAPTER 04: Push and Pull
Part I
That morning Zuko stood over her as she ate, as if daring her to not finish every morsel. She was hungry, so it didn’t matter, but she pretended to not be. She didn’t know why, perhaps she just liked to bother him. Especially when he was being so bossy and pushy. She was surprised to learn that they knew Aang was looking for Jeong Jeong. She hadn’t told anyone yet, but she would have eventually. It was in her interest – and Aang’s – for Jeong Jeong to know Aang was seeking him. Zuko told her this as if she’d been hiding the information away. She knew he was confused about why she didn’t want to go find Aang, but she wasn’t going to tell him.
Truthfully, she wasn’t sure how he’d take it if she did tell him. She had made a pact with Aang, Toph, and Sokka that night in Ba Sing Se – they would make sure EVERYONE knew of the solar eclipse that approached. Even if they had to deliver the message themselves. Aang would look for Jeong Jeong with Sokka, Katara would alert the Northern Water Tribe, and Toph would travel down to Omashu and the larger Earth Kingdom cities to the south. Since the western portion of the Earth Kingdom was more or less Fire Nation territory, she had opted for traveling through the Eastern Forest. She would find some merchant ships willing to take her to the North Pole and inform her sister tribe of the eclipse.
That was the plan – until Azula captured her. At first she was asking about Aang, but then she’d revealed she’d captured Aang as he traveled south. And killed him. She licked the blood off her fingers. Katara shivered. Azula claimed they had Toph and Sokka, said they were dead…said horrible things…
Katara had to get the information to the Northern Water Tribe. If that meant she had to escape and risk capture by Azula again, then that’s what that meant. She couldn’t shy away from this responsibility. They had promised – no matter what – that if they knew one another was in peril, they would not go after them. They would complete their mission, even if it meant sacrificing a comrade. Even if it meant death. Their deaths were insignificant compared to the thousands that would suffer if the advantage of the solar eclipse were to be lost.
She had suffered considerably keeping this information from Azula. Thousands of times she’d wanted to say it, just to make it all stop. But even if Aang WAS dead, she would never betray what he stood for. Peace. She scoffed at the word. Peace at what cost? Truthfully, she didn’t want anyone to die – not even Fire Nation soldiers. Maybe Fire Lord Ozai. And Azula. …And Jet. But no one else. If the other nations launched an attack on the solar eclipse…it would be slaughter. But slaughter in the name of future peace…was that still peace?
And there was no way she could tell Zuko about the eclipse. Or even Jeong Jeong. They were firebenders; it was they that would be taken advantage of. Sure they were deserters and traitors, but even if Katara was a traitor, she would never want to see her people slaughtered. Not that the other nations would attack civilians of the Fire Nation. It would be a military strike. But still, how would she react if she knew someone was launching an attack on her nation at its time of weakness – even if she was a deserter/traitor? She couldn’t imagine being okay with that.
The ostrich horse she rode on took a bad step and jarred her in the saddle. She winced at the sharp pain. Thankfully the wounds were all the way healed – scarred over – but they were absolutely tender. And she still tired very easily…though today was much better than the previous day she had collapsed in the woods.
The memory brought flames to her face. She was SURE Zuko had been watching her. Whether it was ‘watching her’ or ‘watching out for her,’ it was still watching. It had been the first time she’d felt enough energy to actually argue with him. She’d wanted to several times before…but she had been physically weak. Not mentally unwilling, just physically unable. And yet she still felt…compassion? Pity? It was hard to tell.
She was deeply indebted to him for saving her from Azula. And bringing her along with his uncle, despite the danger she placed them in. And the extreme kindness he’d shown her during her incapacitated state made her think there was a glimmer of goodness in him. It was hard to tell, he was slippery. At times she was almost sure he was genuinely concerned and compassionate. She could see it in his eyes, the way his face relaxed. And in his touch. He’d caressed her hair, for the love of La! How evil could a ‘caresser’ be? Then there were other times when she knew he was honestly angry with her – or angry at himself and just taking it out on her… His body tensed and his face became dark, and he said…such hurtful things… He was complex and slippery. She wished she knew more about him. She felt that he was in an immense amount of pain. All the time.
“What are you looking at?” Zuko barked angrily at her.
She held his gaze, unconcerned at his harsh voice. She had been staring after all. Katara hadn’t meant to, she just did it. She was thinking about him after all. He was leading her ostrich horse – the other one had supplies packed on its back. Without missing a beat, she said in a cold voice, “Nothing.” Then she looked away.
It always rankled Zuko somewhat when she was short with him. She could tell by the way his neck twitched. She bet he didn’t even know his neck twitched. Usually he would say something inflammatory at this point – he’d done so several times before when she did things that annoyed him. But this time he turned away and muttered something darkly under his breath.
By the time they reached their night camp, she and Zuko had been in three more ‘heated discussions.’ They were stopping at the eastern shore of the eastern lake south of Ba Sing Se. There were many campfires that dotted the shores of the lake – refugees still sifted into Ba Sing Se in hoards. A few more fires and tired-looking men wouldn’t be noticed. Jeong Jeong’s Deserters drifted out into the darkness, a few standing watch in shifts. Mostly they avoided each other – having been cooped in a cave for so long with the same annoying people would probably make her want to separate as well.
And it did. Only she couldn’t because she had to stay near the campfire in the middle of the group. “For your protection,” Iroh and Jeong Jeong explained. She even had her own personal watchdog to make sure she stayed put. She turned away from the fire, away from Zuko, and looked out across the lake. There were fires along the shoreline and it made it appear like little fireflies were stationed like centauries in the distance. The waning moon was still very large, and it made it difficult for Katara to sleep. Especially near such a large body of water.
Grunting, she rose from her sleeping furs and nodded to the deserter on duty as she made her way down to the shores of the lake. Crossing her legs she looked up at the stars then to their reflection in on the still waters of the lake. If she reached in she might be able to hold them in her hand… She closed her eyes and reached out. Even though it was a lake she could still feel it. Push and Pull. Tui and La. Good and Evil. Life and Death. Yin and Yang. The Moon and the Ocean pushed and pulled even these waters, the tides rising and falling very gently.
“What are you doing out here?” a sharp voice said from behind her.
Katara actually jumped. Whereas firebenders meditated before a flame, making it dance, waterbenders meditated before the water – moving, living water. They let it manipulate them…push and pull. They were safe within the rocking arms of the Moon and Ocean.
Sighing heavily – the moment was over – she lay back on the sandy beach and crossed her arms behind her head, staring at Zuko upside down. “Don’t you ever just…” she paused at the quizzical look he gave her, “look at the stars?”
“No,” he answered dryly.
Katara shrugged, her eyes still on his upside down face. When she did that his frown was a smile. “Your loss.”
To her genuine surprise, he plopped down next to her and looked across the lake.
“You know,” she began quietly, “it’s never really dark in the South Pole. Whether it’s the months of the Midnight Sun or the colors of the Aurora Australis, it’s never truly completely dark. The stars are never quite visible. But here it’s dark…and the stars are so pretty and rare…”
Far be it for her to try to predict Zuko, for he surprised her yet again. “In the Fire Nation we have whole festivals dedicated to the stars. On the summer solstice every fire in the whole island is put out for the whole day, so when all the smoke is cleared by midnight all the stars are visible.”
When he looked down on her she was smiling. His lips drew into a sneer. “What are you smiling at?”
And she kept smiling, firstly because she wanted to smile, and secondly because it bothered him. “Nothing,” she answered softly.
“Whatever, peasant,” he said darkly.
She smiled even wider, actually laughing a bit. “Now, don’t be nasty, Prince Zuko,” she said in a teasing, chiding voice. “We were sharing a moment…talking about our homes. Don’t go ruining it with your black moods.”
“I don’t want to talk about my home,” he growled.
Still, Katara pushed. She couldn’t help it. Push and Pull. Yin and Yang. She pushed because he pulled. Though perhaps he didn’t know he pulled…
“Then I’ll tell you about mine,” she said softly, taking a deep breath. “When I was growing up we didn’t have a lot. Well, that’s not true. We had a lot of ice. My father was the chief, and our igloo always had people in it. There isn’t a lot of privacy, Water Tribes are awful communal, and though my mother raised me, every woman was my mother. My father made the best pelts – he was a hunter. Kind of like you. When I was nine he made my anorak from baby turtle seal. They’re still blue when they’re babies, and their fur is water repellant.”
“I don’t care,” he muttered darkly. But his eyes were fixed attentively on her when he said this, so Katara didn’t honestly believe him.
“I’m not finished yet,” she said quietly, though strongly. “You’ll get your turn when I’m done.” She smiled briefly at his scowl and then continued, pushing herself up on her elbows. “You’ve been there,” she continued, “but you’ve never really lived there. The auroras stretch on like little ribbons – even during the day. At night they’re like spirits – some say spirits live in them. We have three months of no sun – well, very limited sun – that we call the Time of No-Sun. It never gets very far above the horizon. Then we have three months of the Midnight Sun. I think you’d like it then – what with your ‘firebenders rise with the sun’ business.”
She laughed a bit. He gave her a dark look and she continued, completely unperturbed. “When I was ten my father left with his fleet of ships and warriors. All the warriors in all the remaining tribes in the South Pole left. We were the Warrior Tribe before the war began. We had some of the strongest benders alive. The Northern Tribe had warriors as well, but they were protectors. We used to be known as the People of the Wolf. We were fighters. Yin and Yang. Defend and Attack. Such is the duality of our tribe, our connection to the Moon and Ocean.
“But the Fire Nation was ruthless with us. Our numbers are down to less than five hundred. Where we used to be strong and prideful, now we are mostly women and children. My father left with every warrior to try and finish this horrid war.” She sighed deeply. “It was after my mother was killed that he left. One obsessed Fire Nation captain was convinced we had hidden numbers… He slaughtered the last of our benders, but not before they landlocked his ship with ice.”
Then she laughed, unbelieving that she actually remembered this. It seemed ages ago. “I met you the same day I met Aang.” She paused, unable to contain her mirth. “You know, he was much more friendly than you.”
She covered her face as she laughed. But soon she couldn’t hide it anymore. Talk of home, talk of Aang, hadn’t really made her laugh. And he shaking shoulders weren’t because of ironic amusement. They were because of tears. She wasn’t laughing; she was hysterical.
Standing swiftly, she moved to the edge of the lake, the gentle tide pulling at her bare feet. She crossed her arms over her chest, a strong chill coursing through her as the tears leaked from closed eyes.
It couldn’t have taken her off guard any more if he’d grown three heads and flow off on Appa. His hot breath on the back of her neck made her tingle all over – she couldn’t even tell if it was a good tingle. The warm bursts of breath sent shivers down her spine, like chilly little crabs scuttling down her back. His lips were very close to the curve of her ear – so close he might have burned her with his soft panting. “Katara,” he murmured in a way that made Katara’s eyes roll to the back of her head and her lips tremble.
She tilted her head back slightly as he inhaled deeply. Her heart fluttered with the fury of a thousand wings when his lips first touched the curve of her neck. His fingers slid down her shoulders and arms, making her tense slightly. What was she doing? What was he doing? This was Zuko! Zuko – the enemy! Zuko – the evil!
He kissed her again, searing and amazing, right where her earlobe and jaw met. Had she ever felt something so dangerous, so wonderful? One of his hands wrapped around to brush her neck, ever so lightly, and pull her hair away as he placed another heated kiss just below the last. This was too sweet, too horrible, too agonizing to comprehend. His other hand slid down her ribcage to rest on the gentle influx of her waist, drawing her against him. His mouth was braver, traveling down the softness of her neck, leaving a burning trail of pleasure.
“Katara,” he whispered against her skin, leaving Katara feeling pleasantly burned.
Perhaps this was what snapped at her, slapped her into reality. “No,” she whispered. His lips paused on her skin, and after a moment he let go of her waist and let his head fall on her shoulder. The heat of his body radiated against hers, and the temptation to spin and crush her lips against his was staggering.
Instead she turned around and looked up at him through wet lashes. “You don’t mean this,” she whispered again, her bottom lip trembling.
His golden eyes were on her quivering lips. He moved closer to her, his mouth so close she could taste his cinnamon breath. “What if I do?” he asked. He was so, so close. So, so…close.
She leaned in, ready to take the kiss, when she remembered a very important fact. “But, you don’t,” she said in a hard voice, drawing away and pressing her hands against her shattering heart, willing it to quit beating so furiously. “You’re just playing,” she accused, seeing the darkness cloud his eyes once more. “It’s a cruel game, Zuko,” she whispered harshly, backing away towards camp. “And I’m no good.”
She dashed away, dreading the violent explosion that was sure to come as she buried herself and her tears in her sleeping furs. It came in wordless bellows and huge cannons of fire that lit the sky in horrible glory.
Part II
Because of his…episode…Jeong Jeong and the Deserters had to leave very early the next morning to avoid curious refugees that might want to investigate the previous night’s fireworks. Zuko didn’t sleep at all that night, and when morning came he received glares from most of the deserters, his uncle included.
He could hardly look at her without becoming sick. Sick with anger. Her lips and eyes were swollen with unshed tears, and she didn’t even look at him once. Not when he took the reigns of the ostrich horse, not when he stood over her shoulder as she ate, not when he ‘accidentally’ tripped her. She murmured a soft, “Sorry,” before dusting off her robes and walking away. He hated her more because of that. He had never met someone he wanted to kiss and kill equally. Not kill. But make suffer. Yes. Suffer. Suffer the way he suffered.
He had burned for her. He still did. It was eating him alive, like the flames Jeong Jeong warned him of. Her words had run him through like ice – stabbed him worse than any dagger could have. You’re just playing. It’s a cruel game, Zuko. She made him murderous, pushed him over the edge and watched him fall with innocent little eyes. She made him vicious. She enflamed him. She enchanted him. Who ever said this girl was like water?
At their midday rest his uncle approached him, obligatory tea in hand. Katara was sitting dejectedly away from the rest of the group, her back to them and her head hanging. Zuko thought she was crying, but wasn’t sure. She had been shuddering all day. He didn’t even have the will to make her eat. He wasn’t sure he could approach her without really hurting her.
“What did you do to her?” his uncle asked. Though his voice was light, Zuko could tell it was a serious question.
Eyes never leaving Katara’s back, he answered. “Nothing.”
His uncle’s unusual silence drew Zuko’s attention. “I kissed her,” he confessed.
His uncle blanched, stopping mid-sip. “Some kiss,” he murmured.
Zuko closed his eyes tightly, clenching his teeth as he willed the fire inside down. “Uncle,” he ground out warningly.
His uncle merely snorted. “When I was your age, kissing girls usually made them deliriously happy. Are you sure you did it right?”
Zuko briefly recalled her quick breaths and slightly arching back. Oh yes, he’d done it right. “She rejected me,” Zuko sighed.
His uncle cast a long look at Katara, who had her face in her hands. Then he looked back at Zuko, as if wondering how this could possibly happen. “No, I don’t think you did it right. She’s crazy about you. I might be old, but I’m not yet blind.”
Zuko growled low in his throat. “Then why can’t she even look at me? Why does she cry whenever I come near? Is it –” his voice caught in his throat. “Am I really that horrible a monster?” he finished in a low voice.
“No,” his uncle said in a stern voice. “You are not a monster by any definition of the word.” His uncle closed his eyes briefly, setting down his teacup. “Did you ever stop to think…that the reason she is hurting so bad is because she likes you so much?”
And to tell the truth, Zuko had not. Did that explanation make sense? If she cared nothing for him, then rejecting him would be easy. She would continue taunting him as she normally did with light verbal spars and confident looks. But if she did care for him…why did she reject him at all? It’s a cruel game, Zuko. And I’m not any good. Those cold words… She thought he played with her? True he was older than she by a few years, but had never even kissed a girl before. He might be older, but he had not yet learned to play that way.
They rode on, and as night descended they reached the southernmost tip of the eastern lake. If they traveled any more west they would be in clearly defined Fire Nation territory – and considerably more danger. There was a river that they would reach in the next two days that Jeong Jeong and his men had camped along for a while. The Avatar would be very close.
They made camp deeper into the forest than the night before because of their proximity to Fire Nation territory. It had been a grueling day, and even though Katara had rode the ostrich horse through most of it, even she slumped into her sleeping furs and slept as soon as her head hit the ground. Zuko was awake for a while longer, staring up at the sky and thinking of all the things Katara told him. Why would she say that? Why would she tell him her whole life story…then rebuff him so coldly? Girls really were crazy.
The fire was dying. With a thought Zuko could bring it back to life, but he let it die and tried to sleep. It seemed as though he had just reached a dream state when he jerked up, looking around. Nothing. It was nothing. His suspicious nature was going to kill him one day. And then he saw the empty patch of ground. No sleeping furs in sight.
How could she have slipped through Jeong Jeong’s deserter centauries? Zuko didn’t even bother waking the useless guards as he passed them. He made a quick, silent dash through the poorly lit forest, searching frantically for any sign of her. When he finally found her she was pacing back and forth next to a large elm. Her pack was at her feet, and her hands were weaving through the air. Was she…talking to herself?
The predator (that she always seemed to awake in him) grinned. Silent as a spirit, Zuko crept behind her – distracted as she was it was no wonder she didn’t hear him. He watched her for a moment, hidden in the deep shadows. Desire drummed through him once again as she was lit up with the shine of the moon. Did she have any idea what she woke in him? Fire. Fire that burned bright and hot as white flames. All consuming and passionate.
The grin that broke over his lips could well be called evil, but deep inside it was just vengeful. Her rejection the previous night scarred his pride. He knew she was attracted to him. He couldn’t be mistaken in something like that. The fact that she was attracted and still resisted intrigued and angered him. He was used to getting what he wanted. Well…not as of recently. But on the whole, his every desire was made real. He wanted to taste her, wanted to touch her, make her squirm. He wanted her to feel the heat that consumed him.
He crept out of the shadows on silent feet. “What are you doing, Little Miss Water Tribe?” he asked over her shoulder.
Zuko was disappointed. She only leapt about ten feet in the air at the sound of his voice. She backed into the trunk of a large tree, eyes wide in fright. He wanted her, burned for her, but he wouldn’t take her. His need was too strong to dishonor her like that. But he could still scare her, threaten her, fill her with enough fear so that she wouldn’t try to escape like this again. After all, it was dangerous. Azula tracked them, and they were hours away from Fire Nation territory. Zuko really doubted that she could defend herself against a fully trained Fire Nation regiment.
Faster than lightning, Zuko had her against the tree, pressing a leg between hers so she was trapped. He captured her wrists with strong hands – he was so much stronger than she – and pinned them beside her face. She cringed at the odd angle, stiff with fear. Giving in to baser desires – something only she had ever let loose – Zuko inhaled into her hair, his cheek gliding against hers. The coolness of her skin shocked him – either she was freezing or he was steaming. He wasn’t sure he cared which was which. “Where are you going, little girl?” he cooed in her ear, his lips so close they brushed her skin lightly.
For a moment she struggled strongly against his restraints. The movement of her soft curves over his body only increased his desire, fed the fire. Her heart was beating so fast against his chest he thought it would fly out. With a gentle smile he knew she could feel, be ran his tongue across the curve of her ear. “Well?” he asked her, eliciting a little whimper from her.
Her breath was fast in his ear, and he could feel the shaking of her jaw. “Zuko…” she whispered softly.
Something in her voice made him pull away and look down on her. Her lips were parted slightly as she opened her eyes. But what he saw in them was not fear or terror, nor even concern. It was lust. “Zuko,” she murmured against his lips, her face close to his.
He had not expected…had not calculated… His hands dropped her wrists as he stared into her hazy blue eyes. Their lips were so close that when she said his name he could feel the vibrations of her voice on his mouth. “Zuko,” she murmured again. “I’m sorry, Zuko,” she said softly, her hands twitching nervously at her sides.
“What for?” he asked, swallowing anxiously at the look in her eyes. This was what he wanted, right? He wanted her to burn for him as he did for her. Her lips moved towards his slowly, and Zuko closed his eyes.
He felt her sigh, then swallow harshly. It was about then that he felt a splitting pain in the back of his head, and everything went perfectly black.
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Push and Pull