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Shared	By : whirleeq Category: Avatar - The Last Airbender > Slash - Male/Male > Aang/Zuko Views: 11182 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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A/N: This chapter contains a highly graphic yaoi lemon and hints at substance abuse. Again, you’ve been warned...
It has been two weeks since I’ve been used as a plaything for both Admiral Zhao and Prince Zuko. At least, I think it has been two weeks… the drug that represses my bending abilities also clouds my mind somewhat, but I do not mind that part at all. In fact, I very much look forward to the blissful euphoria that the drug temporarily provides, because for a short period of time, I am able to escape them and the hell that they are putting me through.
Unfortunately, the effect soon wears of, and I am once again plunged into a reality that is far worse than any nightmare I have ever had.
To my dismay, they know that I have come to desire the drug… and they will now only give it to me after they have made use of me.
Without the drug, I have no way of shutting out reality, even though I try… and with every day that passes, I’m breaking more and more… losing hope… losing my sense of… self. And so, when I am with them, the only way for me to save my sanity is to remind myself over and over and over again who I really am.
‘My name is Aang. I am the last of the air benders and the Avatar. I love a beautiful water bender named Katara, and she loves me. My name is Aang… I am the last of the air benders and the Avatar…’
“That’s it boy… open your mouth a little wider – and watch the teeth.”
Zhao has me today.
I am just a plaything to the Admiral – something to be taken out and used at his whim. I’m not even referred to as ‘avatar’ anymore by the bastard. Just… ‘boy’, since Zhao is constantly seeking to remind me of my new status.
As if I needed any reminder at all to know how much I’ve failed… how in their eyes, I’ve become less than… nothing.
He grips my head tightly as he thrusts himself in and out of my mouth. My lips are numb and sore and my mouth is dry. I want gag, want to scream or cry out. I’ve even entertained thoughts of biting down on the bastard.
But I do not. I can’t.
I have no other recourse than to submit. And I don’t submit because they have stripped me of my powers. I don’t even submit because of the threat of torture. No, there is nothing that they could do to me personally that I fear. Torture me, kill me – in fact, I would welcome death at this point, rather than live in this hell that they’ve created for me.
Death is nothing to the Avatar.
Pain means very little as well.
I submit… I submit to this… depravity… because of what they could do… to her… if I don’t comply.
“Aahhh… you’re getting so good at this boy… so, so good.”
I cannot stop the slight wince the sound of his voice invokes from me. Fearfully, I glance upwards, catching his eyes and praying that he did not see the movement. Fortunately, his eyes are half closed and he is focusing only on his impending release and for just a moment, I allow my own eyes to close in an attempt to block out the image of the half naked fire bender in front of me. At the same time, I increase my own efforts to bring him to that point, knowing that the sooner he releases, the sooner I’ll be… rewarded.
It doesn’t take much – just a few whimpers of my own, a slight firming of my lips and a gentle flick of the tongue before I am nearly choking with his seed.
He hisses, strokes the side of my face almost affectionately and removes himself from my mouth. The gentle touch makes me shiver despite myself, and right now I hate him… but not as much as I hate myself for the reaction.
Unfortunately for me, he does see the shiver and he smirks as with one hand, he tugs me somewhat roughly to my feet.
“So responsive…. I wonder why?”
His eyes study mine as he considers his own question.
I know the answer, but I’d die before I’d speak it aloud to the bastard. As if he needed to know what has recently proven to be one of my greatest weaknesses…
I crave affection.
It took… her for me to understand exactly why.
Sometimes, I think I can remember my mother. The memory is vague and foggy… and almost out of my grasp… but I have a distinct impression of a young woman holding me, caring for me… loving me. I remember feeling safe in her embrace… even happy. I remember hugs and gentle kisses on my cheeks… and then I distinctly remember the loss of such things when I became a ward of the air temple.
For nearly eight years, I trained… harder and longer than any of the other acolytes… and with little acknowledgement from my mentors. Occasionally, I was given a kind word or a warm embrace from Gyasto, but such times were few and far between – not because he didn’t care for me as his ward, but because such gestures were looked down upon by the council.
They thought it unwise for me to be dependant on any one person, because… well, because I was the avatar. As such, I was supposed to be strong – independent.
But I was just a child… a child who needed to be acknowledged, appreciated and loved.
As a result, physical affection is like a drug to me. I need it, just like I need the air that I breathe… the same air that now refuses to serve me, because of the other drug that I now need.
Affection. It is the main reason, I think, why I fell so hard and so fast for Katara… and why I was willing to eschew my childhood vows to be with her, to love her.
Because the warmth of her arms far surpassed anything else the world could offer me.
I remind myself constantly that I love her, that I need to be strong… that I need to hold on to hope because that is what she would want. I remind myself what it felt like to feel her soft skin underneath me and how tightly she clenched me within her as we consummated our love.
Katara…
Thinking of her is more painful than anything. I’m constantly wondering if she is safe, and if I really bought her any protection at all by sacrificing myself.
It’s just that… we were being hunted… constantly.
You see, Avatar Roku lied to me. He said that I would have until the arrival of Sozun’s comet to defeat fire lord Ozai.
But Ozai decided that he wasn’t going to play by Roku’s rules.
I had barely managed to master water bending and was just learning how to earth bend when word reached us of the fall of Omashu. Bai Sing Se soon followed. And after that, there was no safe place to hide, nowhere to run.
Nowhere to learn.
Necessity had me learning fire bending on my own – for who would teach me? I was the most wanted fugitive in the newly formed fire empire. I had no other choice but to teach myself, and doing so nearly killed me… but I managed to learn it, finally… and only because of the support I had from my friends, Sokka and Katara.
Especially Katara.
We were constantly on the move, never in one place for very long and often hungry… yet she would always have a smile for me, would always treat my burns when I injured myself during my training, would always cheer me up when I felt like a failure – which was more often than not. In fact, it was on one such night that we became lovers… the night that we learned of the fall of the northern water nation – which, up until then had been the last free stronghold against the fire empire.
I should have been there, should have fought… should have died, rather than let another nation fall under Ozai’s control… my spirit was nearly broken. I did not know what to do… and for the very first time, I knew what despair felt like.
On that night, when she wrapped her arms around me, something snapped. The affection that I had felt for her… the love… the desire for her touch… turned into sheer need.
Her touch that night restored my hope and the very next day, I mastered fire bending.
I was finally ready… to face Ozai.
But luck has never been my friend.
While I was training and gleefully demonstrating my new skills to Sokka, Katara was taken captive by Zuko.
I panicked… she was everything to me; especially after what we shared.
It took little thought on my part to offer myself in exchange for her. I hadn’t known that she had escaped Zuko’s ship at that time – for that matter, I don’t think that Zuko knew either – but it wouldn’t of mattered even if I had known… because I know that they just would have continued to hunt her down, just to get to me.
I couldn’t let that happen, not anymore.
Foolishly, I also thought that if I allowed myself to be captured, they’d bring me directly before Ozai… and since I had mastered my skills, taking him out would be no problem – even if it cost me my life in doing so, I was ready.
What I had not even begun to consider was that they would have a drug to render my hard earned skills completely useless…
“It’s Zuko, isn’t it? He’s the one that has instilled this particular… taste of yours, isn’t he?”
Zhao’s question is delivered with a scowl and no small amount of malice. The sheer tone of it draws me out of my introspection and I look at him, a bit confused. He’s been studying me for several minutes, and I have long since shut him out. It takes me a few moments to remember exactly what he is complaining about.
Oh…
Is Zhao… jealous?
The thought is shocking, but it is the only conclusion that I can come to, given his odd reaction. Up until now, he hadn’t shown much interest in me, personally, other than to use and discard… and as a pawn to use in the sick, competitive game he has going on with Zuko. However, if he should be affected by my responses enough to be jealous of my other so-called master… perhaps this is something that I could use to my advantage.
He raises a hand to softly brush my cheek again, and I close my eyes and lean into the touch, whimpering slightly. It is an intentional, calculated response and has the desired effect when Zhao pulls his hand away abruptly and turns from me, briefly making a fist with his left hand before he releases it along with a heavy breath of air.
A few tense moments pass before he speaks to me again.
“It doesn’t matter, boy. I can show you… that there are better ways to experience pleasure.”
Suddenly, I wish I hadn’t reacted.
I’m swept up in Zhao’s arms and carried over to his bed. I’m confused and now even scared… I’ve already taken care of him, what does he want from me now? Zhao has never taken me on his bed… it has always been up against the wall or me on my knees on the floor. Usually quickly, roughly and with no concern at all as to my well being… and in some ways, his rough treatment of me has been preferable to the way that Zuko takes me… with soft kisses, warm arms and affection.
At least with Zhao, I knew where I stood. But with Zuko…
It would be so very easy to forget everything… forget who I was, forget my obligations and those who love me and live the pretty little lie that the Prince offers me. It would be so easy to allow myself to feel for him. I can’t deny that my body responds to him, nor can I deny that he knows exactly how to reach me – which has up to now, made him the more dangerous of the two.
Yet, each time he makes me come, each time I feel myself wanting to return the affection, I remind myself that I am his prisoner… that he does not love me, even though he may think he does in his darkly twisted mind. As the son of Ozai, I can’t imagine that he would have a good example of love to draw from in order to truly understand the emotion.
But I do. And that is why Prince Zuko is dangerous to me…
I cannot for one minute forget that there is someone who I truly love waiting for me, outside of this hell. Someone who I love dearly in return, who would never treat me as property… who would never share me with another, as if I were less than human.
Yet at night, Zuko’s arms can be so very warm… and that I should take comfort in them is wrong.
‘Oh Katara, you have no idea how very much I’ve failed everyone after all – especially you.’

Zhao removes the oversized robe that I’m forced to wear and pushes me down on the bed, face up. This is… different with Zhao. He normally takes me from behind; impersonally, where I can forget who it is taking me… and that is the way I prefer it. What… what is he doing?
My arms are bound with some sort of silky material and then my legs spread and bound as well. I want to turn from him, want to cry… this is so degrading… but I’ve long since learned to deaden my eyes and hide my emotions and I do so now.
“I will show you that the Prince knows nothing…”
This is a game, all a game, and I am a pawn…
“I will show you what pleasures can be derived from… pain.”
My eyes flicker and Zhao smiles above me, pleased with my unintentional response. He grabs my member and strokes it softly, causing it to stiffen as my body responds to his touch. I want to pull away, I don’t want to respond to Zhao! But he continues to stroke me, ever so softly and despite myself, a small whimper escapes my lips.
Zhao is now shifting so that he is between my legs and…
Oh gods…
He takes me into his mouth and begins to service me, much like the way he taught me to do to him. This sensation is… it is too close, too close to what it felt like to be in Katara and… and I want to cry, but I can’t… can’t cry and… oh…
He hands roughly squeeze my behind as they lift my hips upwards towards him, and I’m taken deeper inside the bastard’s mouth. It feels good… too good… I don’t want it to feel good at all. I don’t want to know that my body can betray me, even with Zhao… and…
One hand roughly slaps my backside and I gasp. He pulls his mouth away from me for a moment and I whimper… and then scream when he crawls up my body and takes one of my nipples between his teeth.
“Feels good, doesn’t it, boy? Pain with pleasure… Zuko can’t give you this… only I can…”
He drags his nails down my abdomen… I’m shivering, sweating, hating, wanting, dreading, needing…
When his lips encapsulate me again, one of his hands slaps the outside of my thigh. This time, there is fire in the touch. The raw, stinging pain of the burn coupled with the exquisite heat of his mouth has me coming, suddenly, shamelessly…
Zhao pulls away from me, a satisfied smirk on his face as he wipes the traces of my seed off of his mouth with the back of his hand and I hate myself…
‘Katara, my love… I am so very sorry…’
I should have never been born as the Avatar. I am too weak… I can’t even control my own body right now, let alone the elements.
Perhaps I am only suited to be a plaything…
But if that is so, then how come the only color I see when I shut my eyes at night is a vivid, ice blue?
“You have pleased me today, boy. I suppose you can have this…”
Zhao puts the green bottle to my lips and I eagerly drink from it, ignoring the consistency and the taste of the drug as it burns its way down my throat. I do this because I know in a few minutes, bliss will come… I will be in another place, with someone else… someone with ice blue eyes who loves me…
But until then…
‘My name is Aang. I am the last of the air benders and the Avatar. I love a beautiful water bender named Katara, and she loves me. My name is Aang… I am the last of the air benders and the Avatar. I love a beautiful water bender named Katara, and she loves me…
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