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In It For The Long Haul	By : saiyanqueenvega Category: +S through Z > South Park Views: 3984 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own South Park, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
In it for the Long Haul
Chapter 4:
“New Start, New Place, Same Sh*t”
Chapter Rating:
PG
Story Notes:
This chapter is going to be a Cartman sized chapter. Just warning you...
Misc. Notes:
Has anyone other than me noticed that the time between uploading and a story actually showing up on the web page on this site it way too long? I understand that fanfic.net has a lot of activity every day.... but when 5 HOURS goes by it starts to feel ridiculous. Especially because I know for a fact that even within this site, other sections are uploading a lot faster. I’ve never had anything take more than 2 hours to show up on the DBZ section, and our South Park section isn’t getting nearly as much traffic submission-wise. Anyway, I just thought I’d bring it up.
Kenny’s POV

The summer had been a real experience for all of us I think. Not necessarily a good experience for all of the five of us though. Eric had been in a daze for a few weeks. We all tried to act as normal as we could for him. I continued to help around his house, and the guys would come over to visit just like they normally did. I think that it did Eric a lot of good. We got him half way back to his old annoying self by the end of summer.
Kyle still went on his family trip to Israel mid-August. He sent us postcards every 3 days telling us how cool everything was, asking how things were going in South Park, and checking on Cartman. We got pictures once too. We all shared a laugh at one picture of Kyle standing in front of a Synagogue. He looked completely out of place with his red and blue streaked spiked hair as is was, but he was also wearing a blue shirt with the word ‘JEW’ in big white letters and an arrow pointing up at himself. On the back of the picture was a note saying; Cartman this one’s for you...
Pip was in heaven I think. If he hadn’t been totally accepted by Eric before, he was now. So Pip has had his first summer with friends to share it with. He even got permission to stay the night at Stan’s once. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that kid happier than after playing video games and flashlight ditch for 10 hours straight.
Stan ended up getting a week off of work to let his face heal, though if you look for it you can still see a bump at the bridge of his nose that wasn’t there before. But after that week he diapered for days at a time working. But despite not seeing him as much as we usually did during the week, on the weekends Stan was all ours and a loaded man. He was always buying a new video game or taking us all to get a burger.
We’d also all sat down together right before Kyle’s vacation and compared our five school schedules. And Wendy’s just for Stan. We wrote them all out;
Me: N History, D Chemistry, A English, N Physics, N Algebra, D Speech, PE-B, Writing, Study Hall
Eric: D History, N Chemistry, A English, D Physics, D Algebra, N Speech, PE-B, Youth Psychology, Study Hall
Kyle: A History, A Chemistry, A English, N Physics, A Geometry, A Speech, PE-B, Health Studies, Biology 9
Stan: N History, N Chemistry, N English, N Physics, A Algebra, N Speech, PE-B, Environmental Study, Shop
Pip: A History, N Chemistry, A English, N Physics, N Algebra, A Speech, PE-B, Spanish, European History
Wendy: A History, N Chemistry, A English, A Physics, A Algebra, A Speech, PE-G, Environmental Study, German

That’s actually what I’m looking at right now as I walk. If I weren’t so sleepy from having to get up at 6:30AM to catch the damn bus as 7:15 the writing would probably be looking a lot clearer. The North Park bus stop is actually six blocks further away from my house than the old bus so it’s going to be a bitch when the weather starts to really suck. Snow fell last night just like it always does the night before school starts, so I can see my breath as I walk. In the distance I can see eight figures standing. As I get closer I can make out Kyle first, followed by Eric, and Stan. Then Tweek, Pip, Bebe, Clyde and Butters.
“Hey guys” I call to everyone when I reach them.
“Yo Kenny” answer my four friends in unison. All their voices are holding an edge of panic to them. That’s kind of how I feel about this whole thing. Cool on the outside, bundle of nerves inside.
“Ready to step into the lime light of public popularity Pip?” He looks a bit pale as he nods, and I don’t blame him. Clyde and Bebe look ready to laugh out loud at us for even talking casually to him. He’s worried that at the third stop Craig will kick his ass for trying to be cool. Craig has turned into a real dick the past few years and it doesn’t help that he’s got Token, Fosse, and Clyde to back him up. I smile weakly at Pip and then turn an evil glare at Clyde. He manages to stop snickering after that and just looks at us angrily. I shift my mostly empty backpack off of my back as I see the bus pulling in.
“Flanking formation once we’re in guys” Stan whispers to us as the bus doors open. I climb the stairs first and make a beeline to the back where our usual last two seats on the left are open. I slide into the second to the last seat and am quickly followed by Eric. Then Pip is guided to the window spot of the three man back seat. Stan sits next to him while Kyle protects the isle. Hopefully with Pip protected in the corner everything will go smoothly.
“This feels an awful lot like a military operation of some sort fellows” Pip proclaims quietly from behind me.
“That’s what it is! No one that I associate with is going to get his ass kicked by Craig” Eric answers. We sit in silence for the next seven minutes until the bus grinds to a halt for the second stop. We all watch in silence as Wendy steps onto the buss followed by Mark and Rebecca. My eyes trail Wendy as she makes her way toward us and she slides into the one person back seat across from Stan. As she leans in to give Stan a kiss Eric pokes me in the shoulder and I whip my head back to the front just in time to see that Fosse is the last person to board the bus. Clyde immediately pulls him into his seat and begins talking furiously into his ear. Oh shit! They’re already planning an attack. Fosse’s head bolts up and he stares at our group for a moment before an angry look crosses his face and he returns to listening to Clyde.
“Guys we need to fill this empty seat” I hiss as the bus takes off once again. We’ve only got ten minutes.
“There’s nothing we can do without leaving our positions compromised!” Kyle answers. So the minutes slip by. I reassure myself that we have a good defense worked out. Eric and Kyle as our first wave verbal rebuff, followed by Stan’s muscle as a physical rebuff. And of course Wendy and I as backup to pull people off or attack from the back if need be.
When the breaks screech for the third stop I can’t help but notice all the excited whispering that is coming from the front of the bus. Apparently everyone else knows what is going to happen in the next 33 minutes too. When the door opens Token is the first to enter and he immediately seats himself behind Fosse and Clyde. As the rest of our classmates deposit their selves into seats the two begin angrily whispering to him. It isn’t until Craig boards that I start to really worry about our chances. Craig has bee wrestling since the 7^th grade, and has developed massive mussels in his arms. He can probably break someone skinny like me in half. Add to that the fact that he already looks pissed off this morning. Probably didn’t like getting up so early... But once he’s sitting down beside Token the bus starts moving again. That means we should have 32 minutes before we’ll arrive someplace relatively safe.
“Ok guys, huddle up. We may not have a chance to go over this again so listen up. I want double coverage between classes wherever possible” Stan starts directing like a sergeant. “I’m still not sure what we are going to do about the last two classes of electives. Let’s pray that Pip lucks out and doesn’t have any of those guys in them. Since Wendy is willing to help us today that will only leave Algebra with a single guard. Kenny, you are the only one of us who has N Algebra with Pip. You’re going to have to get him safely from there to lunch. ”
“Yeah, just us blonds” I turn my gaze directly at Pip. “If I grab your hand and start pulling, trust me and run. We’ve got more than just Craig’s group to deal with. North Park is notorious for hating South Park.” Pip nods an affirmative.
“God I think you’ve all infected me with your faggyness. I never used to give a rat’s ass what happened to any of you guys” Eric comments. Stan, Kyle, and I all flip him off. Pip graces him with a slightly dirty look.
“PSSST!” is the only warning we receive from Wendy’s direction before Craig and Clyde plop into the seat in front of her, directly across from Eric and me. Fosse and Token throw themselves into the seat directly in front of us.
“Aww isn’t that cute. It’s a little queer circle.” Craig is smiling meanly as he says it.
“What do you want Craig? We have a truce.” Kyle, our negotiator, stalls for time.
“Yes. The four of you and the four of us do have a shaky standing truce. But...” he pauses for dramatic effect. “That little bitch cowering in the corner has no such protection.” Craig then shifts his gaze from Kyle to Stan. “Is he paying you, Marsh? So that he can hide behind all your little girlfriends here? It must be a lot of money if you’re willing to be seen in public with him.”
“The only girlfriend Stan has on this bus is me asshole” Wendy corrects him loudly.
Craig ignores her. “I’d heard a rumor going around that you all beat the shit out of him in July. That you all got arrested and he was sent in for surgery. Now I’m not sure quite what to think Stan...”
“The rumor mills you listen to must all be a bunch of ignorant pussies then” I interrupt, hoping to steer the conversation away from Pip for a bit. “Actually what happened is that Eric here beat the shit out of four guys.” I smirk at the momentary look of shock on Clyde’s face behind Craig. I can only hope that Token and Fosse are similarly shocked. I don’t dare turn to look right now.
Eric picks up on what I’m doing and runs with it. “That’s right Craig. I managed to send ‘em all to the E.R.” It’s not lying really. We’re just not telling anyone WHO Eric pummeled this summer.
But Craig is still staring intently at Stan. Shit. It’s not working. “I’m not interested Cartman. What I am interested in is getting back to some business with that little pansy back there. Don’t be difficult Stan. It really doesn’t concern you.”
“Sorry. But Pip is my friend now. And I protect my new friends just like I do my old ones.” A frenzied whispering begins at the head of the bus where there had been dead silence until that comment. Stan raises his voice indignantly at this. “That’s right! Pip is our friend. And you all should just get over what you thought of him in third grade. People change!”
“Speaking of people changing” Token says from my other side, “why the hell are you in on this Cartman? You hate Pip.”
“Yeah, well I hate Kyle too. But that didn’t stop me from giving YOU a black eye last year for copying his English final. If anyone is going to kill Kyle or get him expelled it’ll be ME. And the same goes for Pip now.” If his voice wasn’t so humorless, I’d swear that he was joking.
“So you are willing to dissolve our truce for that fag?”
“Please Stanley! You don’t need to do that for me. Just let this go... we can still be friends” Pip urges.
“No Pip. I don’t hand my friends over to sticky little cunts like them.” That broke Craig’s resolve. He and Clyde both heave themselves out of their seats to lunge at Stan. But Eric throws himself in front of them and shoves. Both parties tumble into Craig’s seat. This gives Token and Fosse a clear shot at Stan. Token jumps over his seat, landing next to me, and sends his balled fist toward Stan. I may not be able to beat up Token in a fair fight but I can easily unbalance him right now. I place both of my feet at his side and push with all the strength I have. He’s literally airborne and he lands on the scuffling pile of bodies that belong to Eric, Craig, and Clyde.
“We’re here” calls Butters from the front of the bus, just before the breaks slam on one last time. Both Kyle and I grab Eric’s arms from under the stunned Token and with a fair bit of difficulty we hall him out of the pile. Wendy quickly unlatches the emergency exit door and Stan and Pip quickly duck through it. We follow them as Eric regains his footing just in time for the small jump. Once we land I turn around to see Wendy blocking the way for Fosse to follow us. None of them will lay a finger on her because Token still has the hotts for her, so she’s safe. The five of us run into the High School building and high five each other. Other than Eric having a bruised shoulder from his part of the scuffle, we came out if it unscathed. Meanwhile Craig’s crew all look like a bunch of asses in front of everyone. Now all we have to do is potentially do that again nine times today....
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Stan shares the first class of the day with me. History. A subject that I have interest in but never really bothered with in school before. I can only hear the same fucking information year after year for so long before I just stop trying. But right now I’m feeling very thankful that Stan is here with me. Token, Clyde, and Craig are all here too giving us death glares. Other than the five of us only Butters is from South Park. The other 23 students are all North Parkers, and the rumors of their hatred of us seem to be true. The looks I’m getting from them are almost as nasty as the ones from Craig’s gang. The teacher is an older woman whose name I think is Roberts. She doesn’t seem to like South Park much either. She has us all sitting in the back of the class room like its segregation or something. She’s handed us our course syllabus and textbook and is now going around the room getting everyone’s name, address, and phone number. When she reaches me she looks me up and down like I’m an animal to judge and wrinkles her nose.
“Name?”

“Kenny McCormick”

“Your phone number?”
“I don’t have one” I answer in a stony tone to match hers.
“Don’t give me any lip boy! What is your telephone number?”
“My family doesn’t have a phone.” I can hear snickering coming from the front of the class. Great, twenty minutes into this new school and already everyone is going to know that I’m poor... But apparently that isn’t enough for this bitch.
“And WHY does your family not have a phone?” She’s going to fucking make me say it out loud to boot. So I do the only thing I can do. I raise my head high and say it clearly for everyone.
“My family is suffering from a time of financial difficulty ma’am.”
“He’s fucking South Park trailer trash” I hear a voice from the front say loudly enough that the teacher should have heard it too. But she ignores it.
“Well do you have an ADDRESS?” I can’t help but grind my teeth at that one.
“I don’t live in a BOX...ma’am” I can see Stan next to me staring at this woman in shock.
“Write it down then!” She waits for me to do so before moving to Stan with the information sheet. “Name!” she demands of him.
“Stan Marsh” This makes her raise her eyebrows.
“The Cows first string quarterback?”
“And their pitcher” Stan adds, knowing that despite always losing to the Bobcats at football, North Park hadn’t won a baseball game against South Park since Stan joined the team. This could possibly earn him a bit of respect.
“I hope you enjoyed that while it lasted Mr. Marsh.” Ouch. That’s a low blow. “YOU have a phone number don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Well at least someone in that little hick town does. Write it here along with your address.”
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Stan’s POV
“What a bitch” are the first words out of my mouth when the bell rings and we race from the room.
“We can’t let them get to us or they win.”
“But she could be right Kenny. They may not let me play ball here. That would suck so much ass!” As the hallways become more crowded we both start looking out for legs with the intent of tripping us. But in watching for them we miss the arm that flies out of nowhere and slaps Kenny’s history book out of his hands, sending it to the floor open and face down. I know what’s coming next before it even happens as I hear the crack of a foot stamping on the spine of the book.
“You’d better watch your back you shrimpy little trailer slime!” calls the same voice I’d heard mocking him in History. I can do nothing but watch Kenny pick up the book that he’ll now have to somehow pay to replace at the end of the year and continue on walking.
“Well Stan, have the other guys pray for me. I’ve got D Chemistry.” he calls as I turn down a different corridor as my friend.
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I reached Chemistry without any further hindrance and found myself only the second person in the room. Luckily for me the other face was a friendly one.
“Fucking hell, this school sucks balls!”
“Aw don’t hold back Cartman. Tell me how you REALLY feel” I joke, smiling for the first genuine smile of the day. But it quickly fades.
“My asshole teacher for History had the goddamn nerve to put us into study groups... Four dudes Stan. Four dudes that looked like they could have bench pressed a bus. All I heard for the rest of the hour was fat jokes!” he complains.
“Well you should have seen what the bitch I just had did to Kenny. She practically made him announce over the P.A. system that his family is poor. She even had the nerve to ask him in front of the whole class if he was homeless! And then between classes just now some asshole totally crushed his history book! This place is...”
“Terrible” Wendy’s voice finishes for me as she seats herself next to the two of us at the large black toped table followed by Pip. Pip looks angry and Wendy is beet red for some reason. “Some jackass 10^th grader just jumped us in the hall!” I turn to Pip with a questioning look.
“It wasn’t me he was after Stanley.” Oh my god!
“The guy just started coming on to me. And when I ignored him he grabbed my ass. Oh, Stan I shouldn’t have hit him. I was just so angry, but I’ve probably made things worse.” My girlfriend looks about ready to burst, she’s blushing so hard... and I can’t do anything but stare in shock. But I don’t have time to throw a fit because others are trickling into the room. Luckily the faces entering are familiar ones. Bebe enters followed by Tweek, Butters, and Jimmy. I thank Jesus more every time I see a South Park face. By the time the bell rings it has become obvious that the fact that EVERYONE is a South Parker can’t be coincidence. When the teacher enters the room he closes the door behind him.
He writes his name in neat cursive on the dry erase board. Mr. Hicks. “Settle in class.” When he is met with silence he continues. “Now I’m sure you’ve all noticed that you all know each other in this class. Yes this class is composed of 100 percent South Park students. It seems that the school board is tired of hearing about how you poor kids keep getting your eyebrows blown off by the home team around here. Let’s start with a fact about myself. I’m from Minnesota. I moved to Colorado eight years ago. And I lived and taught in South Park myself for two years before moving here. I know all about the pointless rivalry around here and I don’t agree with it. You’d think this was the Packers and Vikings or something!” He pauses, seeing our confused look at the last comment. “Sorry, it’s a Minnesota thing. Anyway, the point of my requesting a South Park only class is that this will not only hopefully help you do better in Chemistry but also avoid any untimely ‘accidents.’ It should also give you a chance to come to someone with any major problems you’re having since I know that some of the staff here also like to bully you students.” I notice that I’m not the only person in the room to nod vigorously at that. “Now I want to take this first day to get to know you all so let’s get these books and the syllabus passed out. We’ll also be working with five lab teams with five members each so I’m going to need you to all even yourselves out. Pick whatever groups you wish.”
“Oh, thank you Jesus” I hear Cartman mutter.
“Hey Jimmy” Wendy calls over to the overcrowded table next to ours. “Why don’t you come join is?”
“Sure Wendy. That’ll b-be great.” Mr. Hicks walks up setting five rather thin textbooks and five sheets of paper entitled ‘Course Aims’ in the middle of the table as Jimmy struggles to pull his stool over to our lab station.
“Can I get all your names?”
“Philip Pirrip sir.”
“Eric Cartman.”
“Stan Marsh” I add.
“Wendy Testaburger.”
“Jimmy Valmer" Jimmy adds last, having finally gotten himself seated on his stool with us.
The teacher writes this all down on his seating chart. “Well I’ll be back as soon as I’ve got this filled out completely.” As he walks to the next lab station Pip voices his opinion.
“Well this teacher seems like an alright fellow. Perhaps they are actually nice for the most part and we have just had unfortunate experiences first period.”
“Don’t be stupid Pip” Cartman argues. “He’s from Minnesota. They’re ALL super friendly there. Those people just don’t know HOW to be assholes.” The discussion continues until Mr. Hicks returns to our table with a stool.
“How are we doing guys? Fell free to be candid, this is off the record.”
“Well it’s like this” Cartman says taking control of the conversation, “we all want to know our odds. How many of the teachers here are going to be dicks? How many are going to be neutral or on our side?” I watch intently for the man’s reaction to the language, but he’s unphased.
“Well Eric, luckily only about a quarter of the teachers are going to give you a hard time. The other three quarters are neutral I suppose. They either don’t seem to notice the difference or are too professional at their jobs to treat you all any differently that the students raised in North Park.”
“What about the situation with the students treating us all like crap?” I ask.
“There’s light at the end of the tunnel with that one Stan. You’ll probably have to tough it out for the rest of ninth grade. Think of it as the North Park version of culling the herd. They’ll drive out all the kids that can’t handle it. But hopefully by this time next year if you don’t upset everyone somehow you’ll just be left alone with your inner circle.” There are two other questions that I have to get out while I have this opportunity...
“What about if they start going too far?” I look at Wendy as I say it. But Hicks sees the look.
“Why? What happened this morning?”
Wendy blushes all over again. “Some jerk grabbed me in the hall” she mumbles, not being able to bring herself to say ‘grabbed my ass’ on front of a teacher.
He frowns before answering. “Well... honestly? If you don’t think it’ll happen again I’d say just let it go. But if it does happen again, come to me. I’ll see if I can talk to him without getting you directly involved.” Wendy nods.
“And what about my football and baseball? Is there any chance of getting the school team here?” I ask, feeling like an ass after such a more serious question.
But he smiles at me. “They won’t refuse you if you’ve really got the rest of the team beat talent-wise Stan.”
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Cartman’s POV
As Wendy and I flank Pip toward English I feel a lot better about this place that I had after my first class. Mr. Hicks isn’t a prick like most teachers are and, unlike History where I have a cunt for a teacher, I may actually give this class a try. Apparently we get to do a lot of stuff with mixing and testing chemicals in this class, which sounds totally sweet. We’re supposed to read like seven pages from the front of our book about what the periodic table of elements is and how to read it. Then we pick out the element that we guess would cause the biggest explosion when mixed with water. He says he’s bringing a couple samples of elements that explode to class tomorrow to explode behind bomb glass!
I’m brought out of the sweet thought of stuff exploding when an arm shoots out from behind me hitting the two books I’m holding in an attempt to knock them onto the floor. But my grip on them is iron tight and the attempt fails. I quickly slam the breaks on and extend my elbow behind me catching the pussy in the ribs. When I hear him fall to the floor I turn and give him the best fake sympathetic look I can. “Oops. Better watch where you’re going friend.” Then I flip the guy off and continue to catch up with the other two. That ought to show that looser who’s the highest on the food chain around here.
When we finally halt in front of the English class room we find the Jew standing as inconspicuously as possible by a row of lockers near the door. He seems to be surveying us before sighing.
“I was hoping that Kenny was with you guys. I just overheard something in the hall.” That gets my attention. “Something about a little blond South Park rat is going to get it... So it’s either Pip, Butters, or Kenny. And obviously Pip is right here and still breathing...” Kyle is cut off from going any more into it by a figure turning the corner at the far end of the corridor. Well actually, falling on their ass trying to take the turn at a dead out run would be a more accurate. But in the moment it takes the figure to pick himself up I recognize him. Kenny. But he’s already back on his feet and sprinting toward us, his long hair flying behind him. Moments later a pack of a half dozen guys come into view in hot pursuit. Holy shit!
“KENNY!” I call out to him, shoving Pip through the door into the classroom. Wendy ducks in after him, followed by the Jew. I grab onto the knob of the door and silently urge my friend to go faster. He keeps up his speed until he nearly collides with me. I give him a hard shove into the room and follow, closing the door with me. I don’t even have time to think as I lock it because of the sudden pounding coming from the other side. I turn wide eyed back to Kenny, who is gasping for air. “What the fuck was that?!”
“Assholes...” he gasps. “Cornered me.. after Chemistry. They just... started shoving me around... giving me shit about being a shrimp...and being poor.” He pauses after this, still panting.
“And?” I urge. He roles his eyes.
“So I told the guy doing the talking that since he knew how poor I was he could tell...his momma to forget the five bucks I owed her for... the blowjob last night...” Despite the seriousness of the situation I can’t help but chuckle at that.
“You know Kenny” I say throwing my arm around his shoulders, “no one is a dirtier little bastard than you.”
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Having Advanced English with Kenny, I’ve decided halfway through this class, is the only thing that is going to save my ass from humiliation. I’ve never been one of those losers that go home after school and curls up with a good book. Heck, I’ll even admit that I’m actually a real slow reader. So when I see the required reading list for this class I nearly piss myself. I’ve never read all the way through that many books before in my LIFE! A Tale of Two Cities, Lord of the Flies, Lord of the Rings, Catch 22, Great Expectations, the list just doesn’t end. I look up from the list and stare at the teacher. Perhaps this is some sick joke! But no, she has a stack of paperbacks littering her desk and is handing them out already.
“I’m going to start us out this quarter with Lord of the Flies since it is one of the shortest pieces we’ll be working on this year... Yes?” She motions to Kyle, whose arm just shot into the air.
“What should we do if we’ve already read several of the books on the list, you know, for fun?” I grind my teeth. Fuck you Kyle, you smart ass. But several others are nodding to the question too. That many people have already read most of those books!? The thought makes me sink in my chair.
“We’ll be writing a three page summery and a critical personal review on each book we read. So it is best to reread any book you’ve already read to brush up. But I also have opportunities for extra credit for students that have pre-read any of this year’s books. Since some of these books are on the reading list for Normal level English I’d like some volunteers for tutoring any students that may have trouble. But we’ll discuss that later in the week.... What I want you to do today in class is write out a small autobiography about yourselves. Please include your name, address, and phone number at the top of the page for my records.” She turns and writes this on the board. “You may include information like your favorite authors or books, favorite band, your physical appearance, information about your family or faith, or what you do in your spare time.” She writes out a few of her suggestions of the board also. “I would also like you to include a closing paragraph explaining why you chose to take this class and what you hope to accomplish here. Please make this paper at least two pages in length.” At this she seats herself at her desk, signaling that she is finished.
As the time ticks away I find that writing two pages about myself isn’t that difficult. But the last part about what I am doing here is a bit trickier. I’m here because of my bet with the Jew, and there’s now a bit of my personal pride at stake as well... But do I dare put the real reason down on paper? And what DO I want to accomplish in this class?
“You have 5 minutes to finish” our teacher announces. Deciding that I don’t have much time to think of anything else I start jotting.
The reason that I am taking this class is a matter of pride. A rather annoying red and blue haired ‘friend’ of mine bet me one hundred dollars that I wasn’t smart enough in school to take any Advanced level courses. And upon seeing what we’ll be reading this year I can’t help but worry that he could have been right. As for what I hope to accomplish here, I hope to receive at least a C grade so that I can get my one hundred dollars and the right to rub my ‘friend’s’ face in the fact that he was wrong. I AM smart enough!
The bell rang as I was scribbling out the last words. “All right students, please pass your autobiographies to the front. Tonight’s assignment is to read the first chapter of Lord of the Flies. We’ll be discussing it in class tomorrow.” Shit. I hand my paper to the front and collect my things together. Kenny is doing the same on my left and so is Kyle on my right.
“So which of the books have you already read Kyle?” Kenny asks as we head toward the door.
“Most of them actually. How about you?”
“Just Lord of the Rings and Lord of the Flies.” Kenny answers.
“What about you Cartman?” That damn Jew knows that I haven’t. I can feel my cheeks redden. It’s either anger or embarrassment... probably both. I just shake my head and pick up my pace walking.
Kenny must have sensed that I’m getting extremely pissed off because his tone turns soothing. “You’ll like Lord of the Flies Eric. I think it’ll be your kind of book.” The soothing tone might work normally but not with Kyle still taking shots at me.
“What, you mean short and simple to understand?” I whirl around, intent on giving that fucking Jew a piece of my mind. But Kenny beats me to it.
“Goddamn it Kyle, that’s enough! Eric isn’t a damn genius like you ok, we get it. And while you’re at it I’m stupid compared to you too. So why don’t you rip on someone else that is inferior to your great intelligence for a change!” Kenny grabs me by the elbow and leads me away.
He walks with me in silence all the way to D Physics even though it’s far past his class. When we reach the door he finally speaks. “He doesn’t mean it Eric. It’s just that... you never really tried in middle school or even before that. I think that deep down he knows how smart you really are, and that if you actually try this year you’ll unseat him as the smart one in our group.”
I chuckle. “I’m not into book smarts and I probably won’t ever be. But I remember what you said at the end of last year about making everyone know your name.... I want that too.” He just smiles at me. “You know, if our third grade selves could see us now they’d probably kick us in the nuts for being such pussies about this stuff” I add. Kenny gives a loud laugh before walking back toward his class.
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Kyle’s POV

By the time I reach my Physics class I’ve decided that Kenny was just overreacting. I haven’t been treating Cartman any different than everyone normally does. When I enter the class I see Stan sitting in the back right in front of the room’s only window. I sink myself into the seat to his left and Pip follows into the seat to his right.
“Where’s Kenny?” I haven’t had a class with Stan yet so I shake off my nonsensical surprise that he doesn’t already know. This isn’t South Park, so everyone doesn’t automatically know everything that goes on between the four of us like they used to.
“He got all pissy about me teasing Cartman and walked off with him. He’ll make it back by the bell I’m sure. How’s your day been going?”
“I’ve got one teacher that’s out to make South Parker’s lives miserable, one that seems to be on our side, and one that’s just pretending that none of us exist. You?”
“It sounds like I lucked out so far. I’ve got three teachers that don’t seem to care one way or another about where anyone comes from.” As more students file into the room it becomes apparent that this class is going to be devoid of anyone we know except our group, and Kenny still hadn’t arrived. When a woman who looks to be in her mid twenties enters I can’t help but blink a few times. This woman is HOT! She has long black hair and dark brown eyes. She also looks to be at least part Asian. All around me I can see others reacting too.
“All right children let’s wind down. The bell will ring in a moment.” I can’t help but think that this woman, who is obviously our teacher, is stretching it a bit by calling us children. She can’t be more than nine years older than us. Kenny comes rushing into the room and seconds later the bell rings. He quickly rushes to the empty desk by Pip, sitting farthest from me. Is he still pissed off or something? The cute teacher gives him a look but lets his near lateness pass.
“Welcome to ninth grade normal level Physics. I’m Mrs. Son” I don’t think anyone in the room could have missed the emphasis she placed on the word ‘Mrs.’ The tone of voice very clearly says ‘stop looking at my chest because I’m already taken’. It doesn’t stop many of the guys in the room from staring though. “We’ll begin by going through the room and telling everyone an interesting fact about yourselves.”
I sort of tune out what the North Park kids are saying in favor of trying to decide what I’ll say when my turn comes. But when they come to Kenny I’ve already decided and tune back in to hear what my friends say. The entire class is turned in their desks looking at us alone in the back.
“Well, my name is Kenny McCormick. The only interesting fact about me... is that I’ve died 674 times.” Kenny kept count? Who knew? But the rest of the classroom is staring at Kenny like he should be in a straitjacket or something. Kenny’s got this shit eating grin on his face too. “Er, I mean I’m a writer” he says as if the first part just slipped out on accident.
“My name is Philip Pirrip, though my friends call me Pip. The most interesting thing about me is that I once won an international dodge ball championship against the Chinese team.” More stares followed Pip’s statement. Everyone knows how cutthroat Chinese dodge ball is.
“I’m Stan Marsh. I’ve never lost a game of middle school baseball.”
“I’m Kyle Broflowski and I’ve got an adopted Canadian brother named Ike.” I think I could have announced that my goal in life was to blow up the school for all the notice I got. Most of the class is still either looking at Kenny nervously or at Pip and Stan like they are sports gods or something. Even Mrs. Son is looking at the three of them funny.
“Er...right. Now that I have all your names let’s get books passed out.”
Class passes relatively uneventfully after introductions. We’re supposed to be reading section one and two of the first chapter in our books. I’ve already finished and wrote half of a page of notes down in my notebook when the bell rings. Mrs. Son tells us to finish reading at home if we haven’t already finished and everyone files out.
As we all make our way toward our separate math classes, each with a cumbersome load of textbooks, I can’t help but feel a sort of dread in my stomach. I’ve always been good with numbers and math comes easily for me. When they placed me in an advanced math class last year I didn’t really think much of it. And when I found out that they’d skipped me ahead again this year it didn’t really shock me much. But now, as I near the door I can’t help but worry, not because of the class, but because of the people in it. Geometry is a class you don’t normally take unless you are in 11^th grade.
As I enter I immediately think of my little brother and of how he must have felt all those years ago starting kindergarten early. The people in this room look so much older than me! Unlike most of the teachers I’ve had so far, this one is sitting at her desk waiting for the students to file in. She gives me a surprised look, then rises and moves toward where I’ve stalled inside the doorway.
“Are you having trouble finding your class young man?” she asks in a friendly tone.
“No ma’am this is my room.” I hand her my schedule, which she scans quickly.
“Skipped ahead two years?” she asks still reading my schedule. I nod. “And from South Park to boot?” I nod a second time. “Well...Kyle, if you have any trouble keeping up just let me know alright.” She motions to a desk in the front of the class near her desk. I stack my books into the compartment in the desk and seat myself. Other students continue to trickle into the room and I get more than a few confused looks.
When the bell rings the teacher closes the door and approaches the board. She spends a few moments writing with the squeaky blue marker until she steps aside. “Good afternoon class, and welcome to Advanced Geometry. I’m Ms. Zotalis. We will be spending this first class getting to know each other and I’ll be getting to know your skill levels. After I get your contact information and hand out texts we’ll all be taking a quick test to see what you remember from last year.” A few people from the back of the room groan. “But before all that I just want to make sure that everyone here can easily pair up with a study buddy when the need comes up. So, do you all know each other?” The 11^th graders look around at each other and for the most part they nod back at Ms. Zotalis. “Is there anyone you don’t know at all?” The class simultaneously points at me. I feel my cheeks heat. “Well why don’t you stand up and tell us all a bit about yourself...” I bite the bullet and stand.
“Well... my name is Kyle. The reason none of you know me is because I’m in 9^th grade. But I’m also from South Park.” A few of the students in the back frown at this but others raise their hands. “Er... Yes?” I point to a girl in the third row.
“How did you do that with your hair? I mean didn’t the blue dye run together with the red dye?”
“Well the red is actually my normal hair color. But yeah the blue DID run a little bit. So now the streaks are just wider than they started out.” This kind of questioning I could handle. I point to another girl in the third row.
“Are you like a genius or something...getting into this class and all?” I blush again at that question.
“I...I guess I just like math. Numbers make sense to me.” I answer shrugging.
“Is that a pentagram hanging in your nose?” calls a guy from the back of the room. “Are you like a Wicca or do you worship Satan or something?” Before I can open my mouth to answer Ms. Zotalis cuts in.
“You don’t have to answer any questions like that Kyle.” She gives the student that yelled the question a sharp look.
“It’s ok. Actually this” I say pointing to the tiny gold star dangling from my nose, “is the Star of David. It’s a Jewish symbol not a Wicca one. The star of a pentagram is turned in a different direction...” I silently take note of all those in the classroom that gave an unhappy look at hearing that I was Jewish. There is a group of three guys in the back row who don’t seem to like the fact that I’m not only from South Park, but also an over achieving 9^th grader and Jewish on top of it. They would be people to avoid in the future if possible. Luckily I’m allowed to be seated again as Ms. Zotalis begins to make her way around the room collecting the same contact information I’ve written out four times already today.
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The damn lunch bell couldn’t have rang soon enough I decide as I trudge out of Geometry. The review test was for the most part a breeze, but thinking that hard has somehow drained all of my energy. I’m shuffling toward my locker on the north side of the building to deposit the giant stack of books I’ve accumulated since the start of the day when I hear Wendy’s voice calling to me. I watch my best friend’s girl approach.
“You look like you could use help Kyle” she says plucking two textbooks and the corresponding folders and notebooks from the top of the pile.
“Thanks.”
“Stan enlisted Tweek’s help to hold a lunch table for all of us. But we need to get there soon. I don’t know how much longer they’ll be able to fend off Craig and Token by themselves.” I stop at locker 199 N. On the second try the locker opens for me.
“Those guys are being dicks” I say as I pile everything into the top section of my locker. “The one thing we’re going to need to survive this year is a united front. And Craig’s pack of idiots is splitting us in half.”
“I don’t think it’s so much splitting us in half. It’s really more splitting you guys from everyone else.” She hands me my last items back and I cram them into my locker too. I pull my lunch out from the bottom section, under my coat.
“What do you mean?” I ask shutting it.
“What I mean is that you’ve got no supporters in this choice you guys made with Pip” she explains as we walk toward the cafeteria. “Most of the girls are on Craig’s side because that’s where the desirable guys are.” I open my mouth to deny that but Wendy continues. “Think about it. Stan’s taken, Cartman’s... well its Cartman, Kenny’s too shabby looking and poor, and you...well” she trails off.
“I’m a Jewish nerd with a bitch for a mother” I add helpfully, scowling.
“It’s not MY opinion Kyle! But yes. So you don’t have any of the girls. And you’re going to find that most, if not all, of the guys are going to side with Craig too. None of you has a reputation for going around beating people up for no reason like Craig does. The meek guys are going to side with him out of fear. The guys right under you on the popularity latter are going to side with him because they hate Pip too, and Cartman’s pissed off enough people in general to scare away any indecisive people.” We reach the lunch area and I do a quick scan looking for Stan. I’m unsuccessful at spotting him, but Wendy drags me into the chaos.
“Speaking of Pip, were he and Kenny at lunch yet when you left?”
“No, we haven’t seen them yet... Cartman either.”
We break through the huge crowd toward the back of the cafeteria in search of our table and I finally start to spot familiar faces. “Wendy! Kyle! Over here!” Kenny’s voice rings out. Wendy rushes into the seat next to Stan and I sit next to Kenny. “You are NOT going to believe what fucking happened” he says as soon as I get seated.
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Evil cliffy ^_^ Anyway, I’m once again going to have to split up a chapter. This one was getting WAY too long! For those of you wondering, yes this was more of a set up chapter than anything else. I’ve got plenty of action and drama planned and you’re going to be getting it soon. Stay tuned. We’re going to travel back in time about half an hour and see what’s got Kenny so excited in the next chapter: ‘No Longer Pip the Meek’
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In It For The Long Haul