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CAUGHT!!!!	By : Ramsey Category: +1 through F > Daria Views: 16278 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Daria, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Daria waited outside Jane’s art class waiting for her to come out, trying with all her might not to think. Of course this exercise was met with a lot of resistance. Jane finally emerged and saw Daria waiting for her.

“Hey, what’s up?” Jane asked.

Daria just looked at her best friend for a second before saying, “I hate you.”

“Whoa! What did I do?” Jane asked surprised.

“You got me thinking about stuff I never wanted to think about, that’s what,” Daria said as they started walking. “Now every time I look at people I’m wondering if they have any solitary activities I don’t know about.”

“Oh is that what your complaining about?” Jane said. “ Aren’t you the one whose always looking for new and creative ways to look t the world?”

“Wondering who masturbates is hardly the view I wanted.” Daria retorted.

Jane stopped walking. “Why has this gotten to you so bad? I mean its nothing really new and the truth is probably everybody who passes you does it.”

“Do you?” Daria asked, almost afraid of the answer.

“Do you really think I stay in bed 16 hours a day just sleeping?” Jane joked. When she saw that Daria didn’t find it at all funny she added, “don’t look at me as if I’m a criminal. It’s just something that you do sometimes for various reasons, like boredom. And why am I defending myself! Like you’ve never done it!”

Daria looked her friend right in the eyes for a moment and then began walking again.

“Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Just hang on a second,” Jane said catching up to her friend. “Are you telling me you’ve never done it?”

“Could you say that a little louder? The people in Australia would hate to be the last ones to know,” Daria deadpanned.

“Sorry,” Jane said in a softer voice. “But its hard for me to believe you’ve never done the old once over.”

“Well believe it,” Daria said simply.

Struggling to get this idea around her mind she asked why.

“I don’t know,” Daria shrugged. “Just never felt like mauling my own body I suppose.”

“Daria!”

“Okay, okay!” she said. “I know its not dirty and a lot of people do it but what I have a problem with is the thinking that I’m the only one not doing it. A view that I’m starting to think is maybe true.”

Jane leaned against a locker and sighed. This conversation was not going to go well. “Daria listen, maybe not everybody does it but most people do and damn near all teenagers. Also geriatrics but we wont get into that.”

Daria smiled at the joked. “But I can’t be the only. Just finding one other would make me feel a whole lot better.”

“Then all you have to do is find someone stupid enough to admit that they either do or don’t.”

“Why do they have to be stupid?”

“Because the smart people would lie.”

Thinking back to her conversation with Jodie she had to admit Jane had a point.

“So who is stupid enough to talk about this?” Daria asked.

They both looked away from the lockers just in time to see Kevin and Brittany walking vacantly down the halls. Jane and Daria shared an identical look and approached the two populars.

“Oh hi, Daria!” Brittany exclaimed squeakily.

“Hey Jane!” Kevin said with a broad and empty-headed smile.

“Hey,” Daria and Jane said together so their attention wouldn’t have t div divided, then Daria said, “can I ask you two a question?”

“Cool, I like questions!” Kevin said.

“Yeah!” Brittany bubbled. “What is it, Daria?”

Daria briefly thought that Brittany always repeated the name of those she spoke to was so she didn’t forget who she was addressing.

“I was wondering if you two ever masturbate?” Daria asked in a weather-the-weather type of tone.

Jane had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing very loudly. The looks of absolute shock and fear was so etched right into every muscle of their bodies in exactly the same way she wished she had an easel and some oil paints.

“Daria!” Brittany squealed. “How can you ask something like that?”

“Yeah!” Kevin piped in all indignant. “After all I don’t need to do since Brittany and I have sex everyday in the stockroom!”

Brittany screamed in shock and slapped Kevin saying, “you can’t say that in front of people!”

“Don’t worry, Brittany,” Jane said. “At least there will be no rumours that your masturbate!”

“Yeah!” Kevin agreed.

Brittany “thought” about it and nodded her blond head. “Yeah! I guess your right! I’m sorry I slapped you!”

“Its okay, babe!” Kevin said. “You know how I love the rough stuff!”

“And today’s theme has become ‘too much information day’” Daria said.

“Oh Kevy! I love you! Do you want to go back to our special place?” Brittany asked.

“Sure, babe! Its been like,” Kevin vainly tries to make sense of the clock on the wall and said, “forever since we were there!” in truth it had only been about 15 minutes.

Jane and Daria watched then walk away and then looked at each other.

“Maybe we need a new game plan for this project,” Jane mused.
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CAUGHT!!!!