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The Pain Game	By : hummerhouse Category: +S through Z > Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Views: 4701 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: The TMNT are not mine. No money being made.

Chapter List
- 1-The Pain Game
- 2-Part 2
- 3-Part 3
- 4-Part 4
- 5-Part 5
- 6-Part 6
- 7-Part 7
- 8-Part 8
- 9-Part 9
- 10-Part 10
- 11-Part 11
- 12-Part 12
- 13-Part 13
- 14-Part 14
- 15-Part 15
- 16-Part 16
- 17-Part 17
- 18-Part 18
- 19-Part 19
- 20-Part 20
- 21-Part 21
- 22-Part 22
- 23-Part 23
- 24-Part 24
- 25-Part 25
- 26-Part 26
- 27-Part 27
- 28-Part 28
- 29-Part 29
- 30-Part 30
- 31-Part 31
- 32-Part 32
- 33-Part 33
- 34-Part 34
- 35-Part 35
- 36-Part 36
- 37-Part 37
- 38-Part 38
- 39-Part 39 Final
- 34
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- 36
            Caught up in the rush of his own emotions, Michelangelo did not even realize that Raphael had closed the distance between them until he felt his brother’s hand on his arm. Raph pulled Mikey back into the room and simultaneously slammed the metal door shut, blocking Mikey’s exit.
            Spinning to face his brother, Mikey yanked his arm out of Raph’s grip. “Just because I used to let you do things to me in this room, don’t start to think you can manhandle me whenever you want. Touch me the wrong way again and I’ll remind you why I’m Battle Nexus Champion.”
            Raph lifted his hands up near his shoulders, showing Mikey his palms. “Okay, I’m cool, Mikey. I just want to say something. Can ya’ give me another minute, please? Ya’ can rush off in a huff afterwards if ya’ still feel like ya’ need to.”
            The anger at Raph grabbing him that way burnt off some of the misery that had sent Mikey scurrying for the door. Resting his palms on the handles of his nunchucks as a warning, Mikey gave Raph a hard look before saying, “I’m listening.”
            Lowering his hands slowly, Raph stared into Mikey’s eyes, his breathing harsh and uneven. It looked as though he was struggling with something so Mikey waited, neither prompting nor hurrying his brother, though his curiosity had been piqued.
            “The other night when ya’ threw your key at me I was damn mad,” Raph said, his mouth twitching with some barely contained emotion. “I thought ‘fine, we’re done. I was on my own before and I can handle that’. After a few hours I calmed down and figured you’d change your mind and come back to me. All I’d have to do was play it cool and act like I was doing ya’ a favor when I took ya’ back.”
            He paused and since it seemed that he was gathering his thoughts rather than waiting for some type of reply, Mikey held his tongue.
            Raph pressed his lips together before going on. “I was still working hard not to acknowledge my own feelings ‘cause my fucking pride got in the way.” He laughed shortly. “Like I can afford to have pride after all the shit that’s gone down. Anyway, I waited and when ya’ came up to the garage yesterday I figured that was it, that was when you’d say ya’ was hasty and we should keep working on what we got.”
            “But I didn’t,” Mikey said softly when Raph hesitated.
            He watched Raph swallow not once but twice before the older turtle could continue. “No ya’ didn’t,” Raph conceded. “Ya’ said everything was in the past and forgotten, that we’d go back to just being brothers. I guess it was when ya’ said it was all forgotten that it finally dawned on me that ya’ was gonna walk away for real.”
            Raph’s hand was shaking slightly as he lifted it, looking away from Mikey as he rubbed his fingertips across his forehead. He turned his hand up to wave it once before dropping it back to his side. “I couldn’t think what to do so I let ya’ walk away. The rest of the time before dinner I spent thinking that ya’ had fun with me but then ya’ decided I was as big a loser as Leo had said, that maybe Leo finally convinced ya’ that I was just using ya’.”
            “I don’t let Leo or anyone else decide my feelings for me,” Mikey said in a lightly chiding manner.
            “Yeah, in that way you’re a lot stronger than me,” Raph said before inhaling raggedly. “I was ready to prove Leo right and keep on being a loser too. I was gonna keep my mouth shut and act like what we’d done had been for shits and giggles and didn’t mean nothing. Then I saw Donny holding ya’ down in the dojo, pressing against ya’ like he was, and all I could think was that maybe Leo had set that up, that he’d convinced ya’ that ya’ had better options.”
            “So you reacted the way you did because you were mad at the idea of Leo getting the upper hand,” Mikey said in disgust. “Thanks for sharing.”
            “That ain’t it!” Raph exclaimed, a pained expression on his face. “This is why I don’t talk about this shit, I always say stuff wrong.”
            Mikey counted to ten in his head, telling himself to stay calm and not behave so defensively. He could see that Raph was trying to explain something to him and realized that his whole future might depend on letting Raph have his say.
            “Sorry,” Mikey said. “You can talk Raph, I won’t judge. Whatever happens, we should still be able to do that with each other.”
            Raph nodded, his balled up hands loosening again. “I never told ya’ this before, but I spent years fantasizing about us being together, about what it would be like if ya’ said ya’ wanted to share everything with me. Never mentioned it when we did get together ‘cause I thought it’d sound silly. So there I was with my big chance and I blew it. I screwed it up because I figured that I’d eventually do something stupid anyway and you’d think I was a sick fuck just like Leo does.”
            Shifting, Raph’s eyes darted away from Mikey’s and then back up again. “When we had our games I decided that as long as I didn’t kiss ya’ or let myself get really intimate that I’d keep myself safe. That when ya’ finally decided you’d had it and that I was too perverted and twisted to share your life with, I’d be insulated enough so it wouldn’t hurt.”
            “When have I ever led you to believe that I thought you were perverted or twisted?” Mikey asked defensively.
            “That’s just it, ya’ didn’t,” Raph said. “All you’ve done since we got together is tell me I ain’t messed up in the head. Sure, ya’ say stuff that confuses me, but mostly it pulls me up and makes me feel like the world ain’t an upside down place. Like maybe I got something to offer other than my two fists.”
            “Of course you do,” Mikey said with a hint of exasperation. “Just because I said you’re our warrior doesn’t mean that’s all you are to us. You’re the one who makes Leo check and double check his decisions; if you didn’t do that and he made a mistake, he’d wallow in it forever. Don loves it when you tease him about being a Brainiac, every time you do that he comes up with another new great idea. I sometimes think he’s showing off for you.”
            “And you, Mikey?” Raph asked tentatively.
            Mikey remembered back, through all of their years together, to how special Raph had always been to him. “You can be a big pain in the butt sometimes, but you’ve always been fun. You’ve always been the one I feel most connected to, the brother I like hanging with the most. You’re like me, not content to hide underground looking for personal enlightenment or reading technical manuals. I don’t want that to change. I’d go crazy if we couldn’t hang together.”
            “Wouldn’t want that to happen,” Raph said, his lips quivering in the faintest of smiles. “Look Mikey, I had a chance to think about the way I’ve been acting. How it’s all been about me and I haven’t been thinking about your needs at all. That wasn’t right and if the roles were reversed I don’t know that I could have put up with my shit as long as ya’ did.”
            Heart thumping in his chest, Mikey stared at his brother. He’d never seen Raph in such a raw emotional state, his barriers down, his feelings on display. Still it wasn’t enough to hear Raph admit his mistakes, Mikey needed more.
            “Don’t tell me what you think will soothe my feelings,” Mikey said, his eyes never leaving Raph’s, “just tell me the truth.”
            Raph lifted a hand, reaching out hesitantly towards Mikey. When the younger turtle didn’t flinch, Raph gently pressed his fingers to Mikey’s chest. “I don’t want to be alone anymore, Mikey. I like how ya’ make me feel. I’ve always felt connected to ya’ too. I like that I can be who I am around ya’.”
            “You know what I really want, Raph. I want something real, a relationship that’s more than sex,” Mikey told him. “I won’t take less than that.”
            “I ain’t saying I won’t fuck up from time to time,” Raph said, stepping closer to Mikey. “I got a talent for it. One thing I could always count on was ya’ telling it to me straight. I owe ya’ that too. I love ya’, Mikey.”
            “You do?” Mikey asked, afraid to breathe lest he would break whatever spell they were under. “You aren’t just saying that so I won’t leave?”
            Raph made a sound in the back of his throat before moving right up against Mikey. “I know better than to try and fool ya’. You’ve always been good at seeing right through me and calling me on my bullshit. So ya’ decide, am I telling ya’ the truth?”
            As he asked the question, Raph leaned in, his gold eyes boring into Mikey’s blue ones. Mikey could feel Raph’s breath against his lips, his brother’s heartbeat against his chest plates. When Raph’s mouth touched his, Mikey’s eyelids fluttered and closed, his entire being focused on the caress of Raph’s lips.
            For a moment all they did was press their mouths together. Then both tried to move at the same time and teeth bumped against lips, Raph’s tongue painted a wet stripe on Mikey’s chin, and Mikey’s swiped across Raph’s gums. It was sloppy and awkward and absolutely wonderful.
            When they pulled back a little, Mikey whispered, “Wow, you really don’t know what you’re doing, do you?”
            Raph chuckled, his arms circling Mikey. “Not a clue. Let’s see if we can’t figure this out together.”
            Once more they came together and this time Raph tilted his head just a little, making their mouths meld tightly. Mikey waited, letting his brother lead him, opening his mouth at Raph’s urging, his tongue rising up to meet Raph’s.
            The sensation of his tongue sliding along Raph’s was the most intense feeling of Mikey’s entire life. A tiny sound, higher in pitch than a moan, slid up from Mikey’s throat and his grip on Raph tightened. The rasping sound of their plastron’s scraping together brought out a churr from Raph and Mikey responded in kind.
            Everything around them collapsed outward until all that was left of Mikey’s world was Raphael. The air sparked with life, seeming to lift the pair up so that Mikey couldn’t even feel the floor beneath his feet. Whatever he had imaged a kiss could be, this was so much more.
            As their mouths slowly separated, the pair gazed at one another, their breathing heavy with desire.
            “Damn me to hell,” Raph husked, “but I don’t ever want to stop kissing ya’. I’m a fucking fool for waiting so damn long.”
            “When you finally decide to go for a little romance you don’t mess around,” Mikey said, his voice hushed.
            “No more halfway with ya’, Mikey. Ya’ get everything I can give ‘cause ya’ deserve it,” Raph told him.
            As much as Mikey wanted this moment to last for a few hours, there were other things to be considered, like the family who was worried sick about Raph.
            “Remember our pledge not to keep secrets from each other? We can’t hide stuff from our family anymore,” Mikey said, still holding Raph close. “For this to work, they have to know what our being together means.”
            Raph cleared his throat, his head down. When he lifted it he showed Mikey a small grin and said, “Not all the details I hope.”
            Mikey’s chest swelled with happiness at hearing Raph’s attempt at humor. It showed him that Raph was trying, for his sake, to leave behind the shame he’d been feeling over what he shared with his brother.
            Shaking his head, Mikey said, “Oh heck no. We can leave that to their imaginations. It’ll make them jealous.”
            “Shit, I love how everything’s such a positive for ya’,” Raph said. “Don’t think I ever realized how much I depend on that.”
            Raph initiated another kiss and Mikey fell into it willingly, certain now that nothing in life could be better. There was only one obstacle to both of them finding the ultimate happiness with each other and that was what had Mikey breaking the kiss and stepping out of Raph’s arms.
            “I’d sure as shell like to stay here all night,” Mikey said, seeing the confused look on Raph’s face, “but our bro’s are out there in the rain looking for you. I told Leo I’d call Casey and have Casey relay the message that you were safe so they could head home.”
            His brow furrowed, Raph said, “If ya’ turn on your phone Don will know exactly where we are.”
            Mikey unclipped the lineman’s phone from his belt and held it up for Raph to see. “Why do you think I’m carrying this bulky thing around? I’ve just gotta find a land line somewhere.”
            “There’s some old phone lines running into a box in here,” Raph said, perking up. “They might still be hot. Come on, let’s find out.”
            He led the way over to the corner of the room where the broken furniture was stacked. Shoving things out of his way, Raph cleared a path to a door that Mikey hadn’t been able to see before. When Raph opened it, Mikey saw that a small room lay on the other side.
            “I’m guessing this was probably an office of some kind,” Raph said, stepping inside and making room for Mikey. “There’s even a safe built into the wall.”
            The safe was small, its door hanging open, and its walls looked to be a couple of inches thick. “I’ll bet they had gambling along with the bootleg liquor,” Mikey said, visions of old gangster movies flashing through his head.
            “Yeah, we could have us a booming trade amongst the mutant population,” Raph said with a grin. “If there ever is one.”
            Mikey glanced at him, a mischievous expression on his face. “No way, dude. I like the room just the way it is.”
            He was gratified to see a flash of the old familiar lust in Raph’s eyes. His brother swallowed before saying, “Here’s the box where the lines come into the room. See if ya’ can get a tone.”
            Unwrapping the two cables attached to the phone, Mikey hooked the clamps onto the first set of wires inside the box. Hearing nothing, he removed the clamps and tried the next wire. Right away he heard dial tone and quickly punched in Casey’s phone number.
            “Ya’ got Casey, who is it and what do ya’ want?” Casey answered.
            “Case man, it’s Mikey. Do me a favor, call Leo and tell him I found Raph and we’re both safe, okay? He and Don can go on home,” Mikey said.
            “Why can’t ya’ call him yourself?” Casey asked.
            “It’s a long story. Raph can tell it to you sometime,” Mikey said.
            “Whatever,” Casey said. “I’ll let Leo know.”
            “Thanks,” Mikey said before pulling the clamps loose.
            “Glad he ain’t the curious type,” Raph said as he watched Mikey put the phone away.
            “That makes two of us,” Mikey agreed. Something dawned on him then. “You were fixing that chair for me, weren’t you?”
            Raph’s cheeks colored, making Mikey’s heart do a back flip. “Yeah. Ya’ built that setup for us and I felt like an ass for breaking the chair. I thought if ya’ saw that I’d fixed it ya’ might not be so pissed at me.”
            “I like that thought,” Mikey said. “You have to finish it though ‘cause it does look out of balance with just the one chair. Kinda like us. We’re gonna be out of balance until we get you completely repaired.”
            “What’s that mean?” Raph asked, frowning.
            Mikey took a minute to decide what he wanted to say. As awesome as it was to have Raph admit to loving him, things were still not quite right in their little world.
            “You and Leo,” Mikey said.
            As soon as he said it, Mikey saw the stubbornness sneak back into Raph’s expression, his mouth pressing into a thin line. A small growl, probably unintentional, escaped Raph.
            “Dude, just hearing his name sets you off,” Mikey said, crossing his arms. “Our relationship isn’t gonna be whole and good until you and Leo clear the air.”
            “What does Leo have to do with anything?” Raph asked obstinately. “After we tell him that we’re together and we’re happy that way, he ain’t got no choice but to back the fuck off.”
            “That’s not why you have to talk to him, like really talk Raph,” Mikey said just as intractably. “You still have a notion in your head that enjoying rough stuff in the bedroom means there’s something wrong with you. Leo put it there and he’s the one to take it out. At the same time, you’re the only one who can convince Leo that you don’t hate him, ‘cause you don’t.”
            “Mikey,” Raph said, pausing to expel a puff of air. “Have ya’ stopped to think maybe he don’t care anymore?”
            “Of course he cares,” Mikey replied. “Why else would he have even brought it up? He tried to tell you that he’s not disgusted because you had a hard on during that fight. Leo’s hurt because he thinks you despise him. You don’t, right?”
            Raph’s jaw worked from side to side before he finally muttered, “No. He makes me so mad sometimes I want glue his face to a wall, but I don’t hate him. I sure as shell don’t want to kill him either. Never have.”
            “That’s what he needs to hear,” Mikey said. “You told me that what happened that night was because you were frustrated about his becoming the leader, that it drove a wedge between you and changed your friendship. Puberty and that new feeling of strength got to you and it felt good to be able to pin him, to show him you were better than he was at something. That’s exactly what you need to explain to Leo.”
            “And when he asks how come seeing someone else in pain gets me off?” Raph asked. “How the hell do I explain that to him?”
            “Tell him the truth, it usually works,” Mikey said. “You don’t get off on causing pain, you get excited by your lover submitting to you, showing absolute trust in anything you do. Pushing boundaries is thrilling to both of us. He doesn’t need to fully understand it, he just needs to know it has nothing to do with him.”
            “I told ya’ I ain’t good at explaining stuff,” Raph said miserably.
            Mikey watched him for a moment, knowing from Raph’s expression that he’d do what Mikey asked but it might end up exploding badly anyway. Raph was right; he was more a creature of passions than the kind of guy who could put those feelings into words.
            “We’ll do this together then,” Mikey said emphatically.
            “Are ya’ sure?” Raph asked. “I can do this. You’re right ya’ know, I need to do this.”
            Mikey shrugged. “That pledge we made as kids was that none of us keep secrets. It’s only right that all four of us talk about this together. Besides, Leo’s seen the marks on my skin and know what they mean and Don guessed on his own just from watching us. Even Master Splinter . . . .” he trailed off, his face heating up as he remembered how it had felt when his father asked, “Does Raphael get rough with you when you ‘play’? Does he require that you submit to him in ways that are painful and perhaps degrading?”
            “Master Splinter what?” Raph asked, sounding worried.
            “Reads minds I think,” Mikey answered with a chuckle. “What you said before, he’s Master Splinter. He’ll tell you himself that he expected that a couple of us would pair off like this. You’ve been worrying for nothing.”
            “I couldn’t know that, could I?” Raph asked defensively. “Leo’s the one who always had his ear, he could have spun that story about me any way he wanted to.”
            “Hearing me tell you he’d never do that isn’t the same as him telling you that himself,” Mikey said. “That’s one reason you guys need to talk. He kept your secret even after he figured out that the two of us were getting kinky with each other.” Eyes lighting up, Mikey added, “Speaking of which, now I don’t have to hide your bite marks anymore.”
            The agonized expression on Raph’s face smoothed out when Mikey said that. “There ya’ go, finding the positive side of things again. Ya’ sure ya’ don’t want to explore some of that kinky stuff before we head home?”
            Mikey felt a shiver go down his spine when the cocky half grin appeared on Raph’s mouth. He wanted to see that confident look on his lover’s face for an eternity and the only way that would happen was if they had nothing left to worry about.
            “Not just yet,” Mikey said with true regret. “Much as I prefer to procrastinate on most things that are gonna be tough, this time it’s better if we don’t. Come on, let’s go home.”
            They walked back to the entry door together but before Mikey could open it, Raph caught him in his arms again.
            “One more for the road,” Raph said against Mikey’s mouth, his deep voice vibrating through the younger turtle’s core.
            Mikey melted against Raph, enjoying his lover’s dominance in the most meaningful way possible. This time it was Raph who ended the kiss, proving to Mikey that he meant it when he said they’d go home and repair the rift in their family.
            They exited the room and Raph pulled the door closed after them. Fishing something from his belt, Raph tossed it to Mikey, who caught it and opened his hand. It was the key to the door.
            “I’m hoping ya’ want that back,” Raph said.
            With a bright smile, Mikey inserted the key and locked the door before slipping the key into his belt.
            “Darn right I do,” Mikey replied. “Home?”
            Raph took a deep breath. “Home.”
TBC……………
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The Pain Game