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The Pain Game	By : hummerhouse Category: +S through Z > Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Views: 4704 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: The TMNT are not mine. No money being made.

Chapter List
- 1-The Pain Game
- 2-Part 2
- 3-Part 3
- 4-Part 4
- 5-Part 5
- 6-Part 6
- 7-Part 7
- 8-Part 8
- 9-Part 9
- 10-Part 10
- 11-Part 11
- 12-Part 12
- 13-Part 13
- 14-Part 14
- 15-Part 15
- 16-Part 16
- 17-Part 17
- 18-Part 18
- 19-Part 19
- 20-Part 20
- 21-Part 21
- 22-Part 22
- 23-Part 23
- 24-Part 24
- 25-Part 25
- 26-Part 26
- 27-Part 27
- 28-Part 28
- 29-Part 29
- 30-Part 30
- 31-Part 31
- 32-Part 32
- 33-Part 33
- 34-Part 34
- 35-Part 35
- 36-Part 36
- 37-Part 37
- 38-Part 38
- 39-Part 39 Final
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            When Michelangelo finally woke and glanced at his bedside clock he saw that it was past noon. He had forgotten to turn off his alarm but apparently Master Splinter had done so before leaving.
            Mikey had slept well, thanks to his father, with no dreams to mar his rest. He thought about simply turning over and going back to sleep. There was no practice today and it would be normal for him to be the last of his brothers to rise.
            It wouldn’t be normal for him to stay in bed all day though. The last thing he needed for anyone to think was that he was depressed. He had told Master Splinter that things had to go back to the way they were and that started with Mikey himself. If he could show his brothers that he hadn’t changed, then they could relax and be themselves again. Even Raphael.
            Getting up was hard though; the prospect of what he might face when he stepped out of his room almost overwhelmed his resolve. Since Mikey had to pee, he let the call of nature be the impetus to pull him off his bed and through the door.
            A glance showed him that the doors to his brother’s rooms all stood open. Fortunately, so did the bathroom door and Mikey made it into the porcelain sanctuary without meeting anyone.
            As he took care of his usual business, Mikey kept his focus on the next step in his routine, not allowing his mind to drift beyond that. When he caught himself wondering if Leo and Raph had talked, Mikey slapped his thoughts down and returned them to contemplating breakfast.
            On his way to the kitchen Mikey heard Donatello humming lightly to himself in his lab. At least one brother seemed above the fray and Mikey knew that if he needed a port in the storm, he could always duck in there with Don and spend the day reading comic books. After he informed the genius that he needn’t worry about Raph and him going out anymore.
            There were sounds coming from the dojo and Mikey paused in the kitchen doorway, his head cocked in that direction. He recognized Master Splinter’s voice; the tone indicating that he was in the process of instructing someone. Leonardo of course. Even with practice officially called off, his obsessive brother would still be training.
            Walking to the refrigerator to grab the eggs, Mikey allowed himself a tiny bit of concern as to Raphael’s whereabouts. Surely everyone wouldn’t be behaving in such an ordinary fashion if he hadn’t come home. Shaking his head, Mikey forced his worries aside and took the eggs to the counter top.
            Mikey had just poured his beaten egg concoction into a warm pan when he sensed someone enter the kitchen. Reaching for a spatula, Mikey glanced over his shoulder, expecting to see Raph. It was Leo.
            He turned back to mixing his scrambled eggs, half hoping that Leo hadn’t noticed that he’d been spotted. But of course he had; he came directly over to Mikey, standing off to the side right in Mikey’s line of sight. Mikey should have known that Leo would be waiting for him to make an appearance. Leo wasn’t one to put things off.
            Remembering his resolution, Mikey put his game face on and looked up with a grin. “Have you eaten bro’? I can add some eggs to this if you’re hungry.”
            “Mikey, about last night,” Leo said, getting right to the point. “I absolutely was not trying to hurt you.”
            With a wave of his spatula, Mikey said, “All forgotten. You were trying to help, I get that.”
            Leo frowned, no doubt having expected his younger brother to be defensive. “We should really talk about it. I know I said some things that you didn’t want to hear.”
            “Don’t need to talk anymore,” Mikey told him. “I thought about what you said and you’re right, I was mostly curious. The more you told me I shouldn’t do stuff with Raph the more I wanted to do it. I realized that was kinda childish. I already told Raph it’s over and now I’m telling you. Over, done, finished, let’s move on.”
            “Did you reach that conclusion after talking to Master Splinter?” Leo asked. At Mikey’s surprised glance, Leo said, “I guessed that he was going to wait up for you after he told Donny and me to go to bed.”
            Mikey stirred the eggs, stalling as he examined what it was that Leo was really asking. When he thought he had a handle on that, Mikey said, “Yeah, I talked to Master Splinter last night, but I only told him stuff about me.” He stressed ‘me’ so that Leo would know that Mikey hadn’t discussed the thing that had happened between Raph and him.
            “I wasn’t worried about that,” Leo said, understanding immediately. “We had tea together this morning and he didn’t address the issue so I knew he hadn’t been made cognizant of it.”
            “Cognizant,” Mikey repeated with a chuckle, relieved that Master Splinter hadn’t let on to Leo the things their father had guessed. “You’ve been hanging with Don too much.”
            “I appreciate that you didn’t air my shortcomings to Father,” Leo said, his expression softening. “You weren’t the only one thinking about what was said last night. We’re not kids anymore and it’s not my place to undermine the perception you have of your brothers. I can want to protect you without saying or doing things that detract from them.”
            Mikey eyed him suspiciously. “That’s a complete about face. What did you have with that tea this morning?”
            For a moment Leo looked discomfited. “Father reminded me that a good leader should not engender such fear of retribution in his team that they are reticent to tell him things. By painting such a . . . damaged picture of Raphael for you, I was not only making it difficult for you to talk to me, but I was projecting my own inadequacies in dealing with him onto you. That wasn’t fair. If I have issues with Raph, I should address them with him.”
            “Address away, just don’t involve me in that discussion,” Mikey said quickly. “I’m out of the equation. You two figure out how to hug it out based on your own differences, not on anything that happened between me and Raph. I’m shoving that all in the past.”
            “Are you sure you can do that?” Leo asked, not looking convinced.
            “Oh yeah,” Mikey said easily as he dumped the contents of the pan onto a plate. “It’s not like the stuff we did meant anything. We were just, you know, trying things out. For kicks. Wasn’t important to either of us.”
            He carried his plate to the table and poured out a glass of milk before sitting down.
            “That’s not the way it sounded last night,” Leo said, hanging on obstinately. “You were very defensive about your relationship with Raph.”
            Mikey shrugged, chewing a bite of eggs before answering. “That’s ‘cause I didn’t think it was any of your business. Kinda natural to get pissed when someone is trying to tell you what you can and can’t do with your own life. I told you, after I thought about it I figured out that our whole argument was juvenile. I don’t own Raph and neither to you. It’s stupid to fight about the things that don’t really matter.”
            “Are you saying that Raph doesn’t matter to you?” Leo asked, staring fixedly at Mikey.
            “I’m saying he’s my brother,” Mikey said, gesturing with his fork. “Just like you, just like Donny.”
            Mikey continued to eat, behaving as though he was oblivious of the fact that Leo was still observing him. Finally Leo sighed in a defeated manner, the stress lines in his forehead smoothing out.
            “I’m sorry for this whole thing,” Leo said gently. “I’m sorry that I came on so strong, and I’m sorry that you were hurt. Raph cares about us; I know he does. Someday he might even learn how to show it.”
            “I know he does,” Mikey said, swallowing the lump in his throat while keeping his expression neutral. “So do you, so do I. That’s why I’m not playing this game anymore. Everything back the way it was, okay?”
            Leo studied Mikey as he let those words sink in. There was a compassionate look on his face as Leo said, “If that’s what you need, then so be it. Have I ever told you how brave I think you are?”
            “You’ve never said you think I’m smarter and better looking than the rest of you all put together,” Mikey replied with a grin, “but I take it for granted that you know.”
            One of Leo’s hands lifted as he walked past Mikey, as though to pat his brother’s shoulder, but he changed his mind and pulled it back. Mikey was thankful for that; his feelings had been tested enough for the moment, with even the slightest show of sympathy he might have broken down.
            Mikey wondered if Leo might actually be relieved that his youngest brother had decided to take this route of pretending that nothing had happened. It would let Leo off the hook in many ways; he might not even feel the need to speak to Raph about any of it. Peace could once more descend on the household, with Leo and Raph continuing to make no effort to understand each other.
            “Not my concern,” Mikey mumbled to himself, swiftly finishing his meal and washing up. He wanted to be out and doing stuff instead of sitting around letting his thoughts linger on things he’d decided were best forgotten.
            One of those had been Raph’s whereabouts. Mikey stopped midway to the door as he realized that it hadn’t been Leo in the dojo with Master Splinter. His father’s decision to allow Raph to return home to a quiet lair had been meant to put the volatile turtle at ease. Spending quality time working one-on-one with Raph was Master Splinter’s way of showing Raph that he was still and always would be, a highly regarded member of the family.
            That was good, Mikey decided. This way Raph would know that Mikey had not badmouthed him to anyone and he’d believe Mikey had kept their secret as promised. If things were to return to normalcy between them, then Raph couldn’t start out resenting Mikey for not holding his tongue.
            Mikey inhaled deeply, fortifying himself, and exited the kitchen. Since he couldn’t actually go ‘out’, Mikey opted for the next best mind bending alternative and headed straight for the television array. Choosing a game that required a high level of skill and contained a lot of action, Mikey sat down to play.
            Several hours passed unnoticed as Mikey lost himself in the game. He paid no attention to the comings and goings of his family, nor did he dwell on the fact that no one bothered him. It might have felt awkward to Mikey if he’d taken the time to think about it, but because he was determined to pretend everything was as usual, their lack of attention was overlooked.
            It was Don’s turn to make dinner and that brought the genius out of his lab. Before going into the kitchen, Don announced that he’d invited Leatherhead to eat with them. Wondering who Don was talking to, Mikey turned off his game, stretched, and had a look around.
            Leo and their father were just coming out of Master Splinter’s room and Mikey saw that Don was looking in their direction. Glancing at the digital display on the disc player, Mikey found that it was nearly time for the first evening news broadcast. He was going to have to find another way to entertain himself because his possession of the TV’s was about to be usurped.
            Abandoning the couch to make room for Leo and his dad, Mikey wandered towards the dojo. He heard the news broadcast begin, the rain once more the lead story. Master Splinter might prefer that none of them leave the lair, but depending on the forecast, they might have to, if only to ensure that the tunnels near their home were still draining properly.
            Mikey sort of expected to see Raph still in the dojo, but his brother was not there. Backing up, Mikey looked up towards the bedrooms and saw that Raph’s door remained open. In the garage no doubt, allaying his boredom with some mechanical project.
            It took a second for it to register that he’d actually gone to the dojo in the hopes of running into Raph. Mikey had not seen him at all that day. Frowning, Mikey analyzed his action in an attempt to discern what his motives were.
            First off, he knew that Raph was probably angry with him and not in the mood to interact. Mikey found that he resented that; Raph had said some very hurtful things to him and had no right to feel bitter about the way Mikey had called it all off. Raph had practically begged Mikey to do just that.
            Secondly, Raph had yelled at him to grow up and Mikey felt that he needed to show Raph he was doing so. They were going to have to sit around the dinner table with a guest and it wouldn’t be fair to Leatherhead if there was an active show of hostility between the brothers.
            Thirdly, Mikey discovered that his hands were shaking at the idea of being near Raph. He couldn’t live with the anticipation of what might happen once they were face to face again; Mikey needed that to be over and done with. Raph had no idea that his brother had pledged to set time back to before Mikey had perceived his own kink and started them down a path that had ultimately brought them to this.
            Whatever this messed up need that Mikey had to liken pain with pleasure, it was something he now understood and meant to control. Mikey had decided that he was not destined to be with Raph and he needed to smooth things over with his brother. He had to convey to Raph that nothing about them being brothers should change just because they’d had a fling together and couldn’t make it work.
            Mikey turned purposeful steps towards the elevator and took it up to the garage. He did not notice that Leo had turned to watch him and probably wouldn’t have cared. Mikey had meant it when he’d told Leo that the thing with Raph was done. If Leo wanted to check up on them, he was certainly welcome to.
            The sound of the metal grinder led Mikey to Raph. His brother was grinding the rust off a fuel tank that was one of the many salvaged auto parts they’d dragged back to the lair from the junk yard. There was plenty of things requiring attention in that stack and no surprise that Raph had chosen to while away his idle hours doing manual labor.
            At Mikey’s approach Raph switched off the grinder, his lips curving into a snarl. Lifting the safety goggles from his eyes, he snapped, “What do you want?”
            Hoping to get it over with quickly, Mikey said, “Dude, I’m sorry I blew up. I get it okay? You didn’t want us to get attached and you told me that up front. It wasn’t fair of me to try to change the rules. It’s all fine now, it’s in the past and forgotten. Can we just go back to being bro’s again?”
            Raph’s eyes narrowed and he slowly set the grinder down. “This your new way of fucking with me? I’ve still got a big secret ya’ can hold over my head.”
            “I said the past was forgotten and I meant it,” Mikey assured him. “That room was and is yours. I won’t ever go there again and I won’t talk about it to anyone. Even though I was mad when I left you last night I didn’t say a word to anybody about us, so you can be sure that I never will. I only came up here to tell you that so you wouldn’t wonder where we stood. We’re good now right?”
            Raph looked slightly stunned, as though a different scenario had played through his mind about what would happen when they talked again. He no longer appeared extremely angry; more like puzzled and mildly peeved.
            “Uh, sure,” Raph said slowly. “Yeah Mikey, no hard feelings.”
            “Cool,” Mikey said with false brightness. “FYI, Leatherhead’s coming to dinner. I have no idea what Don’s cooking, but I’m sure there’ll be a lot of it.”
            “I’ll be on time,” Raph assured him, lowering the safety goggles.
            Mikey spun on his heel and left, taking that as a sign that Raph needed to be alone. Going down in the elevator, Mikey recalled how Raph had said ‘no hard feelings’. With a snort, Mikey told himself, “Right. No feelings period.”
            If Mikey hoped that getting his meeting with Raph over with would ease the shaking in his hands, he was wrong. Now he felt jittery all over, like his body had just taken a heavy duty shot of adrenaline and was now having to deal with it.
            Not wanting to chance having someone decide to engage him in conversation while he was feeling out of sorts, Mikey walked over to where Leo and Master Splinter were watching the news. He sat down cross-legged on the floor, a not unusual position for him, thus avoiding being too near Leo on the couch.
Being where he was would show Leo that he wasn’t doing anything with Raph, help pass the time before dinner, and with Master Splinter nearby, prevent Leo from asking questions. It would also give Mikey time to calm down and find his center again.
            Leatherhead’s arrival was heralded with enthusiasm by the small family. Raph kept his word and was there to greet LH, listening with concern when the giant croc explained how he’d had to vary his route to the lair due to the city workers who were inside the tunnels.
            “You should plan to stay here with us, LH. At least until the workers get out of our section of tunnels,” Raph said.
            “As much as I would enjoy the company, I would feel ill at ease attempting to sleep away from my home,” Leatherhead explained. “One bad dream and my temper could become a liability for you all, as it once did. The familiarity of my current abode provides me with the serenity required to maintain an even temperament.”
            “It’s good that you know yourself so well,” Leo said as they took their places around the table. “There are many who wouldn’t come to that type of understanding even over a lifetime.”
            “I have had much time to contemplate these things,” Leatherhead said. “When you have once been forced into an encounter with your demons, you tend towards an examination of them.”
            Mikey took a sip of water, trying to pretend that the conversation wasn’t striking close to home. The last thing he wanted was for anyone to notice that this kind of talk made him uncomfortable.
            “Sounds kind of lonely,” Mikey said. He was seated next to Leatherhead. “What do you do for fun?”
            “Introspection can be fun, Michelangelo. Spiritual development helps us achieve a higher level of enlightenment,” Leatherhead told him.
            “What Leatherhead practices is very similar to Buddhism,” Don chimed in, placing the last of the platter of food on the table and sitting on Leatherhead’s other side. “The Utrom were dedicated to an altruistic desire to aid other life forms, it’s one of the reasons for their space travel. Leatherhead and I have had many interesting discussions on the topic.”
            “Don’t think the Shredder ever got that message,” Mikey said with a grin. “Either that, or it went right over his head.”
            “He was an anomaly amongst his kind,” Leatherhead said with disapproval. “One with enough charisma to corrupt those with a lesser fidelity to wisdom.”
            “Ya’ mean the greedy ones,” Raph translated. “Always gotta be some of those kinds in the bunch.”
            “Exactly, Raphael. One of the inherent flaws in most sentient beings is a certain level of greed,” Master Splinter said. “For those of us who recognize it as a negative attribute, it is something to avoid.”
            “And the ones who embrace it are taking the easy way out,” Leo interposed. “You have to work harder not to give in to a natural desire to have more for yourself.”
            The dinner conversation continued in that vein, remaining both lively and entertaining. Mikey contributed to it, striving to maintain the illusion of being his usual self, despite a faint sense of surrealism.
            At least Leatherhead hadn’t given him any strange looks or flared his nostrils in Mikey’s direction. Either the croc was being polite, or there was no longer a difference in Mikey’s scent. Mikey’s resolve to end things with Raph had not only set things back on track to normalcy, but had also meant the potential for a tricky situation had been avoided.
            If only Mikey could find some comfort in that knowledge.
            When Leatherhead’s visit ended, Don gave him a large foil packet of leftovers and insisted on walking partway with him. This had led to Leo offering to go with them as well, so as to watch Don’s back on the return trip. Master Splinter had agreed to lift the ban on leaving the lair for a short period, contingent on his two most responsible sons adhering to their stated purpose.
            Raph immediately settled in to watch some televised wrestling, leaving Mikey with the decision to either join him, or clean the dishes. He chose the latter. Though it was out of character for him to volunteer for such a task, Mikey felt he could logically be excused for not wanting to push his company on a brother he’d just had a disagreement with.
            Leo and Don returned to the lair without incident. Before Master Splinter retired for the evening, he informed his sons that rather than a joint practice session the next day, he would be working with them individually. It came as no surprise that he scheduled Leonardo for the early slot.
            When Master Splinter turned in, so did Mikey. Even though it had been a short day, he was exhausted. On his way to bed Mikey saw that Don had joined Raph on the couch and that Leo was at the table melting candle stubs for the wax to make new candles. Everything as usual. Wasn’t that what Mikey wanted?
            In spite of his exhaustion, Mikey had a fitful night’s sleep. Alone in his quiet room all of the thoughts he’d fought so hard to keep at bay came filtering back into his head. It was only after he’d given up trying to sleep and had started reading that he’d finally managed to drift off.
            Mikey woke with a start, tears streaming from his eyes. He’d had a dream, a bad one he gathered, because of the effect it had on him.
            He sat up in bed and wiped away the tears, sniffling and trying to get control of himself. The dream, like most he had, was fading quickly. By closing his eyes, Mikey was able to catch stray images in order to piece together what had upset him. It seemed important that he do so.
            The shifting kaleidoscope in his mind’s eye told him that something terrible had happened to Raph. Mikey couldn’t quite grab hold of what that was, but he had a vague feeling that it was because of something that he had done. He felt as though Raph’s horrible ending had been Mikey’s fault, that his brother had been upset with him and had done something foolish.
            Mikey didn’t believe in foreshadowing, but he did believe that dreams were a way for the subconscious mind to resolve issues. Or even deliver messages. He thought this one might be encouraging him to stay the course he’d set, no matter how difficult.
            Just then his alarm went off and Mikey reached over to silence it. He’d volunteered to train after Leo because he wanted to get it over with. After splashing some cold water on his face, Mikey went downstairs and met his sensei in the dojo.
            It was all business from that point. Mikey focused on his lessons better than he had in a long while because that was better than thinking about anything else. One day at a time, he told himself.
            Once he’d finished practice, Mikey grabbed something to eat and tried to think of an activity that would keep him busy without it appearing that he was trying to avoid interacting with his brothers. Under normal circumstances, he would have devised some pranks to play on them, thus assuaging both his boredom and theirs at the same time. He wasn’t in the right frame of mind for that, especially since his favorite target had once been Raphael.
            Mikey finally settled on something he hadn’t taken up in a long while, his art. Locating his sketching pad and the box of graphite pencils April had given him, Mikey took them into the entertainment area. Seating himself comfortably on the floor in front of the televisions, Mikey began to draw.
            The scenes depicting local flooding gave him plenty of inspiration, along with the things he’d seen since the rains had started to fall. He even drew a picture of Nobody, the vigilante perched atop a building with a deluge pouring down all around him, seemingly oblivious to the storm.
            After a while Mikey’s hand started to cramp and he shook it while clasping and unclasping his fingers.
            “Looks like you could use a break.”
            The mild voice belonged to Donatello and Mikey glanced up to see the genius standing nearby.
            “What’d you have in mind?” Mikey asked.
            “How about a little weapons sparring? I could use a good stretch,” Don said.
            Mikey set his art supplies aside and stood up. “Master Splinter didn’t give you enough of a workout?”
            “He wanted me to concentrate on katas,” Don said. “That wasn’t enough to get the blood really pumping.”
            Grinning as they walked to the dojo, Mikey said, “I guess getting your butt trounced by me will do the trick.”
            In the center of the room the pair faced each other and bowed. “Not today Michelangelo,” Don told him, swiftly drawing his b� staff and attacking his brother.
            The move was so unexpected and unlike the usually non-aggressive Donatello that it took Mikey by surprise. He barely managed to dodge the first strike, though he took a nasty hit to his thigh while he was drawing his weapons.
            Twirling his nunchucks, Mikey feinted to the left to pull Don out of his stance and then attacked to the right. Don adjusted quickly, using his staff to regain his balance and flipping it up to deflect Mikey’s onslaught.
            It left Don’s upper body exposed and Mikey swung his second nunchuck at Don’s shoulder, knowing a good hit would leave his brother too numb to hold his staff. Rather than belatedly attempting to ward off the strike though, Don swept his staff down low and across, catching the back of Mikey’s ankles and sweeping his feet from under him.
            The tactic was so unusual for Don that Mikey was momentarily too stunned to roll when he hit the mats. Before he could, Don pounced on him, pressing his staff to Mikey’s neck.
            Mikey managed to get his hands on the b� when Don brought it down, but his arms were in too close to his body and he didn’t have the leverage to push his brother off. Especially since Don was stronger than him and was applying a lot of pressure. Enough to have actually strangled Mikey if the younger turtle wasn’t doing his level best to keep the b� off his throat.
            There was an unusual gleam in Don’s brown eyes as he held his brother down, one that Mikey found disconcerting. When Don shifted, Mikey thought it was because the genius was going to release him, but instead Don was simply changing his position, moving to straddle Mikey.
            Leaning over, his face inches from Mikey’s, Don asked, “This what you like little brother?”
            Mikey’s mouth fell open and his breathing stopped as he gaped at Donatello. A tiny satisfied smile curved Don’s lips as he took in Mikey’s stupefied expression.
            A choked sound from the doorway pulled Mikey’s gaze in that direction, though Don didn’t take his off Mikey. Standing there staring at them was Raphael. As soon as their eyes connected, Raph whirled around and marched out of the dojo.
TBC………….
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The Pain Game