The Darker Side of New Thundera | By : Crystalandra Category: +S through Z > Thundercats Views: 7615 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own the ThunderCats or any character or events associated with it. I do not own or make any money from the ThunderCats or from this fiction |
The steam slowly cleared...And there sat six of the homeliest looking lionesses that Schwenk and Lumar had ever seen! They were smaller than the three big lionesses that were hovering around Lion-O.
"See, Lumie?" Schwenk commented. "Lynxes..."
The young Lord sighed. "I happened to inherit them along with the throne..." The she-cats tittered shyly covering their mouths and gestured for the men to join them.
Lumar gulped. "Do...do I really have to sit next to them?" The mere sight of the lionesses made the tiger want to hurl.
"Make way..." Schwenk beamed pushing past his squeamish brother and sat in between the felines. "Ladies!" he bowed slightly.
"Oh he IS CUTE!" They giggled cozying up to the human; the she-cats boldly raked their claws through Schwenk's hair and inhaled his scent. "He smells absolutely delicious!"
Schwenk face cracked slightly, "Erm...delicious??"
Lion-O chuckled. "It is obvious the ladies love the scent of oil and male urine on you!" The lion glanced over at the tiger. "Now, now Lumar...don't be shy...come sit!"
"Come on...it's just a sauna...." Schwenk patted the bench next to him.
The big Beni sat and immediately two of the lionesses seized his arms. "Ooooh Lion-O--he IS a big one! Wherever did you find him?" They nuzzled Lumar much to his annoyance.
"Ladies...calm down...Let the poor tiger be...Come here and give me your attentions." Lion-O commanded.
"So, you said you inherited these girls....how?"
The young lord shrugged. "They belonged to my father and now they're mine...It would have been cruel of me to...let them go. What would they do and where would they go? Ah well...they have their uses don't you think?"
"Yeah, but they'd make a living wage down on the docks!" he shrugged.
"Schwenk...look at them...I mean...REALLY look at them." Lion-O frowned. "They are not suited for hard work or anything else. No...This way they are protected within the walls of the Lair." He sighed enjoying the massage one of the lionesses was giving him. "Tell me more about your lioness, Lumar."
Schwenk laughed. "You dope! I meant prostitution..."
The tiger exchanged a warning glance with Schwenk that said, 'Watch your language with Lion-O!’
Schwenk closed his eyes, exhaled and enjoyed the heat. He could feel his stress melting.
Lion-O studied the human. "I understand what you meant..." He said in a clipped tone. "And I will reiterate what I said earlier...Look at them! What man would want them?! They would have to work extra hard to maintain any clients."
"Not at all...horses for courses and these girls are hardly mutts, are they?"
"...But they're not beautiful nor are they particularly intelligent." Lion-O yawned. "Lumar...I'm not in the habit of repeating myself...tell me about your love."
"Well...erm...she's a lioness....quite quiet, unassuming....bit of a behind the scenes kind of woman...but we love each other..."
"Ah...she sounds wonderful...I take it this is another woman you found after your difficult break up?"
"Oh...erm....yes, my Lord..." he inwardly cursed his poor memory.
Lion-O nodded. "How fortunate you met someone to help you get over your break up...You see, there are plenty of fish in the sea."
"Lumar does like fish..." Schwenk yawned whilst keeping his eyes closed.
The lion chuckled and gave the Beni a friendly jab in the ribs; he was really in high spirits. "And you Gaston...how did you meet your charming woman?"
"Oh you know...the usual way..." he declined to go further.
"Ah...I am guessing it was a blind date set up by friends who felt you weren't dating enough...Yes, I know the story." Lion-O sighed lazily. "Consider yourself fortunate Gaston that you met your soul-mate...cherish her."
"And what of you, my Lord...any proper bed action?"
Lion-O had a sly grin on his face. "Of course...all the time...There are no shortages of women who don't want to keep my bed warm."
"No, no...I mean...a future Lady Lion-O?"
"Gods no...I'm not ready to settle down man! But my number will be up soon...I expect the Council of Elders will find someone suitable for me...eventually." The lion sat up and rubbed his hands together. "By Jaga I'm hungry! Anyone else hungry too?"
"I am, yes...What's on the menu?" Schwenk replied. Lumar nodded vigorously.
"Anything you want Gaston...I expect you would like something that is suitable for a 'human' palate? Just tell me what you would like and I will have the kitchen staff make it for you..." Lion-O leaned over to Lumar. "We will be eating a freshly killed royal deer...How does that sound to you?"
"Oh boy..." he salivated and his stomach growled loudly.
Schwenk spoke up, "Maybe a burger and fries?"
"If that is what you want Gaston...then you shall have it. I'm going to dress—you two meet me in the dining hall for Brunch." He rose, wrapped his towel about himself and left with his bevy of lionesses trailing behind.
Lumar was beside himself. "I can't wait to eat that feast!"
"Royal deer? Be lucky if there are any left after that fire...and please, mind your table manners...I don't want to get covered in blood and tiger spit!"
Lumar blushed. "I will...don't you worry. But I'm curious...didn't you want anything fancier other than just a plain old burger and fries?"
"I happen to like burger and fries...What would you suggest?"
The tiger's whiskers twitched, "I really don't know since I am not that familiar with human food...uh what about pizza? You like pizza don't you?"
"Pizza is fine...but can you remember the last time I had burger and fries?"
"Yes...it was back at that so-called safe house..." Lumar replied fixing his towel; he stood.
"Really?? Oh....well anyway...they're tasty and good for me...you should eat more of them!"
The Beni made a face. "I think I will pass...I don't see the appeal of eating cooked meat wedged between two pieces of dry bread...I prefer my meat raw and dripping in blood." He exited the sauna with Schwenk following at his heel.
"I know! I've seen you eating plenty of living meat, remember?"
"Yeah...I do...I can also recall you going green at times watching me."
"Yes...and thanking the Gods that it isn't me being eaten..."
"You wouldn't taste good anyway." Lumar joked. "...And you barely have any meat on your bones...I think I would choke on you."
“I would pray you did..." he chuckled.
"Come to think about it...I would probably gag just trying to eat you." He gave his tiger brother a hug.
"Yeah, but you’ve eaten human before...and you did seem to enjoy it then....mind you...you were half starved and your ribs were showing..."
Lumar fretted. "You always bring up that fact about me eating human flesh...Yes, I've eaten it...yes I enjoyed it....human flesh is quite sweet and tasty...And no, I will not turn down eating human flesh--if the opportunity arises. But understand Schwenk, you have nothing to fear from me...I told you, you are my tiger brother...To eat you would be akin to cannibalism!"He raised his hands. "Lumar...I have no issue with you eating it, I was only saying....sorry to offend, it wasn't meant..."
"Okay well...let's skip it."
They saw Lion-O's squire, Snarf waving at them. "This way...Lion-O wants you to pick out an outfit for yourselves before meeting him for brunch."
"Outfit? Are we pets?" Schwenk wondered aloud.Lumar clamped a hand on Schwenk's shoulder. "You know what he means...clothing....Lion-O wants us to look nice."
"I'm surprised he has human clothes....oh wait...they'll be taken from the ones served up in the kitchens…" he spoke grimly.
"Are you sure about that?" The tiger asked; he turned to the Snarf. "The clothes for Schwenk...did they come from...uh humans that were served to his lordship?"
Snarf rolled his eyes, "Heavens of course not! Lion-O had these clothes tailor made for Gaston!"
"What?? That fast?" he snorted, "Surely not!"
"Listen...all I know is that when Lion-O hired you and your tiger he provided his tailor's with your measurements...As you are working for his Lordship, he wanted you attired properly." Snarf patiently explained. "He didn't like the cotton outfits you wore...He says you should be clothed in fine silks."
"Silk?? Blimey...does he want to work me or bed me!"
Snarf tossed his head. "If you would rather return to the kitchen, it can be easily arranged. I thought you would have been pleased that the King has taken such a keen interest in you."
"Thank you, Snarf." Lumar replied rather humbly. "You have to excuse Schwenk...he isn't used to such finery and neither am I."
"You speak for yourself, fuzz face...I've worn silk plenty of times unlike yourself who was trained to wear clothes!"
Lumar's tail swished showing that he was slightly annoyed. "I think it a nice gesture on Lion-O's part." The squire showed them into the dressing room where the clothes were laid out.
The tiger frowned at the clothing picking up a black silk short sleeved shirt. "Why does everyone expect me to wear a tight shirt? I prefer my shirts loose fitting."
"Well...not their fault you've got big tits!"
"I have large pecs not tits!" The Beni hissed; he tossed the shirt aside and picked up another. "This one is even worse--I hate orange...I'm already orange in colour!"
"Hmmmm....orange or black....not a good choice for a tiger...still, could be worse...could be green!"
Lumar picked up a green coloured shirt and waved it in front of Schwenk. "You were saying?"
"Yay....go on, try it on....let's have a laugh!!"
"I suppose his lordship chose this colour because it matches my eyes...I think I'll pass." The big cat rifled through the pile settling on a royal blue shirt. "What do you think of this colour?"
"Nice...suits you!" he looked through his own pile.
Lumar craned his neck watching Schwenk. "What are you going to wear?"
"Tell you what....you can pick!" he smiled kindly.
"Really?" The tiger happily and quite carefully looked through the bundle of clothing. "I like this Schwenk…” It was a tan coloured long sleeve shirt. "This will go nicely with your complexion."
"OK, OK...not sure about that, but the shirt is good enough..."
They changed; Lumar stood before the full length mirror frowning at his reflection. "I would still rather be wearing something loose...I'm rather self-conscious about showing my muscles."
"Oh bloody hell....most people would love to have your set, not least me! So stop whining!"
The huge tiger growled. "It would be nice if I had a jacket or something to cover my arms...I don't like drawing attention to myself...But I guess Lion-O wants to show me off."
"...and why not...you're grade 'A' prime beef..." he took a handful of tiger bicep and tried to squeeze the un-squeezable.
"Hmmm thanks...I wish Crys would appreciate that fact a bit more..."
"Well....she needs to get to know you...how long did we share the same bed?"
Lumar went an interesting shade of red. "Not long...just the one time that I won that fight with her."
"Oh you are so modest...not many humans get to share a bed with a Beni...most humans are found on the inside..." he poked Lumar's abs.
"Oh...you're talking about us...We've shared a bed since you picked me up off the street. You only had me in your bed because I have fur...It was an excuse for you to keep warm!"
“Wha....no, that's not fair...you had rank, filthy, smelly fur..."
"Hey...after I cleaned up my fur smelled nice!" Lumar protested. "Anyway, what is your point? Are you trying to say that once Crys gets to know me things will be better between us?"
"Yes!" he nodded fervently.
"Hmmmm...I can't wait for this day to end...I have a lot to discuss with her." The big cat turned away from the mirror. "Are you ready to join his Lordship for brunch?"
"Let's go, blue boy..."
Snarf was outside patiently waiting for the men to get dressed, when they finally emerged, he appraised them critically. The squire nodded his head in approval seeing Lumar and Schwenk properly dressed in their silken shirts, pants, and black boots. "Follow me this way." The little creature huffed.
"Why is he so huffy? It must be a snarf thing. Hey, brother...you ever eaten snarf?" he whispered to Lumar so as not to distress the squire who walked ahead of them.
The tiger shook his head. "I wouldn't touch them...there are some things you eat and some you don't...Snarfs are one of those things you should NEVER eat." He whispered back.
The squire led them to the elevator down to the fifth floor. "His Lordship will join you momentarily...he is seeing to business. He says you should start without him."
"Thanks, squire..." the snarf left. "OK, don't leave it there....why aren't Snarfs eaten...they have plenty of meat, surely you tigers would love eating their oh so annoying arses!"
Lumar wrinkled his nose as he seated himself at the grand table. "What makes you think someone hasn't tried to eat a snarf? The problem is their meat tastes like shit--I mean it literally tastes like shit."Schwenk pulled a face. "Wish we did!" he chuckled. He poured a glass of wine and then poured for Lumar.
More Snarfs entered; the first placed a medium sized platter in front of Schwenk--the second placed an extra large platter before Lumar. "Enjoy your meals sir!" They chorused and left.
"Mmmmm....." Schwenk bit into the burger. "Oh wow! How cool.....oh, oh, oh...it's delicious!" he rapt, "How about your food?"
The tiger removed the cover from his food and gasped; it was half a royal deer carefully laid out on the platter in a pool of blood. Lumar grinned. "Oh I have died and gone to heaven!" He gushed salivating.
"Looks like that's not long dead either....but...your stomach will not hold that much flesh...that's....that's human sized!"
"Don't worry about that...I'll be able to handle it just fine!" Just as Lumar was about to sink his dental daggers into the flesh, he remembered his manners. He picked up his utensils and carefully cut into the deer then took a dainty bite. "Mmmmmm Gods this is wonderful!"
"It'll take you a week to eat like that..." Schwenk pointed out.
"I'm being mannerly...How's your burger and fries?"
"All...gone..." he patted his belly. "I could go for another one of those!!"
Lion-O entered the room; he heard Schwenk. "If you want another burger call one of the Snarfs to bring you one."
"Really? May I?" his eyes lit up. The Lord himself was immaculately and powerfully dressed in black leather and gold trim. "You...erm....going to battle..." Schwenk chuckled.
Lion-O sat at the head of the table and roared with laughter. "No this is my normal attire when I am just lounging around the Lair..." He motioned towards his squire. "Go get another order of burger for Gaston..."
"You do look...well...even I find you attractive..." he winked.
The lion lord laughed again, "Why thank you Gaston...Is that an offer?"
"Who could refuse the bed of the Lord of the ThunderCats...?"
Lion-O tapped his long claws on the table. "Don't tempt me Gaston...I may take you up on your offer..." Lumar gave the young lord a shocked look and went back to tackling his deer.
"The tiger likes the deer...I still do not think the whole thing will fit inside him!!"
"Lumar...you are a cat...why are you using a knife and fork to tackle that meat? You will never finish that meal today." Lion-O pointed out.
"Sorry, my Lord...that was my fault...Lumar, go for it...it's fine!"
Snarf returned pushing a trolley; he delivered the burgers to Schwenk then placed a huge dish before Lion-O. "Enjoy my lord..." He bowed and exited. Lion-O picked up the royal deer and sank his canines into the flesh ripping it apart.
Schwenk frowned inwardly. He was in a meaty hell. Nevertheless he tucked into his next burger. “My Lord, may I ask you a question?" Schwenk asked Lion-O.
The lion tore another piece of meat from the deer carcass and paused. "Of course...ask away."
"Well...I don't want to make this awkward, and I know Lumar will groan....but....have you ever eaten.....human?"
"Yes I have Gaston...I don't know what feline hasn't tried human flesh at least one time or another in their life-time." He chewed then swallowed. "You know...we do...on occasion....serve humans. I hope that doesn't make you uncomfortable."
Lumar groaned inwardly--here was another thing that would probably set Schwenk off.
"No my Lord...you are, after all, cats...Humans have their place in the universe and on Earth cats are subjugated, so I guess the fact that here we are occasional meals makes sense..."
"Just understand Gaston that I would never consider putting you on the menu...Your scent...You are probably not aware of this...but your scent is strongly that of a tiger...It would disturb me to even contemplate eating you...too much like cannibalism."
“Too bad...because I'm moist and delicious..." he teased.
"Hmmm I will take your word for it...I'm not anxious to try." Lion-O raised an eyebrow towards Lumar. "I see you have nearly finished...would you like more?"
"More?" Schwenk exclaimed. "Seriously, I have to live with this fur bound poop machine!"
"Hey!" Lumar exclaimed. "Do you mind?! No thank you, my liege, I think I have had enough...I'm quite full."
"Besides, if you want to spar with him and not watch him sleep his meal off, you'd best not feed him for a week..." Schwenk added.
Lion-O chuckled. "I think I will pass on the sparring for today...we'll leave that for tomorrow...I am feeling quite lethargic and besides I have business matters that need my dire attention. I'm not sure what I am going to do regarding these fires..."
"Then, with your permission, sire...would we be granted leave until tomorrow morning?"
He nodded. "Of course...Don't forget to bring your woman with you..."
Lumar wiped his mouth hastily with a napkin. "My liege, can you recommend a good florist shop?"
Schwenk chuckled at Lumar. "Now, now brother...I'm sure Lord Lion-O doesn't want you to send him flowers..."
The lion laughed. "If you want flowers go into the Royal Gardens and tell the gardener there what you want." Lion-O rose. "Gentlemen, enjoy your day and when you are finished my chauffeur will take you home." He exited.
"What a cool guy, huh?" Schwenk chuckled.
"Yeah...he's not bad at all...stuck up at times...but nice. Come on...I want to get the bouquet of flowers."
“Oh calm down, you clown...we've plenty of time!"
"Sorry...the food is just making me hyper..." Lumar replied bouncing impatiently on his toes for Schwenk to get up.
"I know...I also know you're at least one hundred pounds heavier than before we started....a sobering thought..."
"But my stomach will digest the deer quickly and I will wind up losing that extra weight I put on from the meal."
"Yeah...how fast does a tiger digest a meal...you know from mouth to poop?"
Lumar grumbled under his breath. "Are you finished? May we go?"
"I was asking a scientific question....with me....about 24 hours...you?"
The tiger sighed, "Five hours...are you satisfied?"
"FIVE!!!" his eyes popped out of his head. "You're kidding me...that deer will be all gone in less than five hours???""Yes...why do you think I get hungry so quickly? I told you that I have a fast metabolism." The Beni sighed. "Do you have anymore questions?"
"Why are you getting so annoyed? How the fuck else am I meant to learn about you??" he snorted.
"I didn't think you were interested in learning about me." Came the neutral response.
"Well I am...OK, because I'm fairly sure you're not the only fast digesting tiger...OK...and as potential food, this sort of thing interests me..."
Lumar shrugged. "I don't see what the fuss is all about...I'm just unique in that aspect."
"No...No, I do not think you are unique..."
"You don't think a green-eyed tiger with an efficient digestive system is not unique? Well tell me what you find IS unique."
"What I'm saying, dope...is that most big cats will process their meals the same....why, I bet Tee-Lara and Crys do..."
Lumar raised an eyebrow. "I bet you Crys probably doesn't...she is a Sh'iar warrior and she has purple eyes...What feline have you ever seen with purple eyes?"
"Oh by the Gods!!" he growled. "Forget the eyes!! Eyes have nothing to do with your guts!!" he poked the tiger in the belly.
"If you're finished harping on useless facts, let's go into the garden!"
"Useless?? You're an idiot..." he snorted.
"Whatever..." The tiger growled; he waved down a scurrying snarf who had appeared and was cleaning down the table. "Where are the royal gardens? Lord Lion-O said I could get flowers from the gardener?"
The snarf nodded, "I know...his lordship mentioned that fact to me...take the elevator down to the main floor...Someone will be there to take you."
Schwenk and the tiger got into the elevator. "Flowers? You buttering Crys up?" he smirked.
"Maybe..." Lumar commented elusively; they got off on the ground floor and sure enough they were met by another snarf who took them directly to the garden. The array of flowers blooming in the fields was breathtaking.
"Well...believe it or not, I hope it works....OK..." he replied, a little put out by Lumar's defensiveness.
The gardener, another snarf came waddling over. "His lordship suggests pink and white carnations. Is that all right with you?"
Lumar nodded. "Sounds perfect..."
"Looks nice, yes..." Schwenk nodded. "May I also suggest red roses?"
"Why red roses?" The tiger asked stupidly. "What difference does it make?"
"Because females think they're romantic and....considerate..."
"Gee Schwenk; do you really think Crys would like the red roses?"
"If she don't....you can spar me again....when hungry..."
Lumar regarded his brother. "All right...you've got a deal...I would like red roses as well." The gardener disappeared and reappeared with two separate bouquets of red roses and the carnations.
"Come on...let’s get these home and be prepared to hug and lick me!" he winked.
"That remains to be seen...Uh Schwenk...I'd like to stop off at the jewelers too if you don't mind."
"What? No...No, too soon!!"
Lumar scrunched up his face. "Do you think so? I guess you're right...I might be rushing things..."
"Good boy...I'd pat your head but you're too tall..."
"I'm not a dog..."
"I wish....dogs are cool..." he tried to suppress a smirk.
"Dogs are stupid mindless creatures that need to follow an alpha male...I'm glad I'm a cat." The tiger proclaimed.
"Dogs are intelligent....cats play with balls of yarn!"
Lumar growled. "You have never seen me play with a ball of yarn...why would I? Oh Schwenk, that is so stereotypical of you!"
He beamed. "Got you going!! Maybe I'll buy you some yarn for your birthday!"
"Do so and I'll shove it where the sun don't shine!" The tiger harrumphed taking his flowers. "Thank you for your assistance gardener."
They took the limo back to their place. Both got out and headed for the apartment. "Admit it...you're praying she's back...right?"
"I'm hoping and praying that Crys is back...yes...I don't know what I would do..." Lumar said no more as he entered the flat. "Hello?" He called out.
"Don't call...just find her and get on your knees with flowers and let me know how it goes..." he winked and walked to his room.
"Schwenk...WAIT!" The tiger yelled.
"What?" he turned around puzzled.
"Here..." Lumar handed the bouquet of red roses to the human. "Give that to Tee-Lara as a peace offering from me."
"Give me the carnations then....you have the roses..."
"Are you sure? You suggested the red roses...I don't mind giving them to you."
He smiled. "Go with my blessing, brother....and you'll see....she'll warm to them..." he stated. If only because they're blood red! He thought.
Lumar grinned; he gave Schwenk the carnations and took the red roses. Now the question that was burning on the tiger's mind, was Crys actually here?
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