Bitter Alliance | By : Looneyluna Category: Avatar - The Last Airbender > Het - Male/Female > Katara/Zuko Views: 31138 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Act III
Chapter Nine
--
We have been sailing toward Earth Kingdom waters throughout the day. The able-bodied soldiers man the sails, taking the burden of bending the water beneath the hull from me. There are thirty-five survivors, including Zuko and myself. I have devoted the day below deck with Damuk, tending to the wounded.
It took a few hours of working alongside him before I realize that it is to him that I owe my gratitude to. He is the one who saved Zuko.
“If you would just stay still and do as you’re told, you wouldn’t have this problem, you old curmudgeon,” Damuk chastises his patient irritably.
Looking past the healer, I see a familiar shaggy mop of silvery-gray hair on the pillow.
“Where is she?” The gruff response of Jeong Jeong’s question is barely a whisper as he struggles to breathe. “Where’s Mahari?”
“She’s gone,” Zuko announces from the doorway of the small cabin. The ship has about five sleeping compartments. The other sections of the vessel are storage areas.
I turn to look at him. As has been the case since we set sail, he averts his gaze and does not acknowledge me.
“She left before the attack.” He limps toward Jeong Jeong’s bunk and leans against the bulkhead. “She went to seal the catacombs.”
Jeong Jeong curses and struggles to sit up.
Throwing his hands in the air, Damuk walks away. “When you bleed out, don’t come crying to me, old man!”
The dimming rays of the setting sun spill through the hatch, lending precious light to the lone oil lamp in the cabin. Zuko kneels next to the general’s bed and helps him sit up. “I would have stopped her if I had known. She left the camp without permission.”
Growling, Jeong Jeong holds his chest and pants. I can see the pain in his eyes. It isn’t pain from his injury. It is concern for Mahari. I move to see to his comfort, and recognition lights his eyes. “Hello Katara.”
Before I can reply, Zuko leaves.
I watch him, unable to hide my disappointment. Plastering what I hope is a convincing smile upon my face, I kneel next to the fallen Fire Nation general. “Hello, Jeong Jeong. It is good to see you again.”
“You look well.”
“I wish I could say the same for you,” I tease, grabbing a cloth and wringing the water from it. Leaning forward, I dab the perspiration on his forehead.
Jeong Jeong’s gray eyes grow moist. “She said you would come.”
“That is what Zuko said,” I sigh, looking toward the entrance of the cabin hopefully. I thought that the ache in my heart when we were apart was unbearable. I thought it would ease once we were together, but it has only worsened. His parting words so long ago come back to haunt me.
I don’t love you. I promised Aang I would take care of you should anything happen.
The realization sickens me. The dreams meant nothing. I was only an obligation to him. I was –
“He doesn’t remember, Katara,” Jeong Jeong whispers, grimacing in pain and closing his eyes.
“What?” I wipe my sleeve across my face, catching my tears before they fall.
His callused hand covers mine, his expression pained and somber. “Zuko doesn’t remember anything of his past.”
I gasp as Jeong Jeong continues. “As you can see by the scarring, Ozai wounded him… mortally wounded him. When Zuko woke, he couldn’t speak. It was months before he could. At first, we thought he had succumbed to the madness of Sozin’s comet. He didn’t even know his own name.”
The general shifts, trying to get comfortable. I offer him water to drink, but he refuses. With a silent nod, I encourage him to go on.
He grunts and clutches his chest. “Mahari thought it best to keep the truth from him, but his dreams revealed the harsh truth of who had been… what he had done.”
“What do you mean?” I sit back on my ankles.
Jeong Jeong glances toward the entrance guiltily as if he is about to betray a confidence. “Zuko’s nightmares… He told me of them once. In them, he described… forcing… himself on a woman. It was you he described. No one has eyes as blue as yours. It is your name he calls out at night… in torment and agony. He hardly sleeps now.”
“But Zuko didn’t force me,” I reply, my tone lacking conviction as I recall the times he did force himself upon me. I hated him then. Little did I know then that he was as much a victim as I was.
“It haunts him, Katara.” Jeong Jeong grimaces and takes a slow shuddering breath.
“You should rest,” I encourage him. I want to hear more about Zuko, but I cannot subject this man to any more pain.
His eyes drift shut, and he slumps forward. As gently as I can, I ease him backwards into a more comfortable position.
Splashing water onto my face, I steel myself for the coming confrontation and go in search of my lover.
--
I am a monster. I am weak. I want her. I have done my best to avoid her, for I fear that I shall harm her. Watching the sun set, I clasp the shadow of a memory that has surfaced. It isn’t much, but it is something.
I had a brief glimpse of my past as Katara refused to leave me to my death on the beach. For a moment I was in the catacombs Mahari always talked of. There was an underground river. I was injured and Katara would not leave me.
Sighing, I lean against the railing as I try to alleviate some of the pain in legs.
“Zuko?” Her voice is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it is like a soothing balm for my worn soul. On the other, it reminds me that she is near. I cannot get too close to her. The temptation is too great. I do not wish to harm her again.
The silver flag flaps on the mainsail post, snapping in the wind and pointing us in the direction of our salvation.
Salvation… A concept I never could grasp until Katara returned.
I turn to leave, but grabs my elbow.
“Please,” she whispers, her voice carrying over the sound of the waves. “Please don’t walk away.”
I feel her touch all the way to my soul. A tremor courses through me, and I close my eyes. I am frozen, unable to move away from her even though every instinct shouts for me to do so. What is this power she holds over me?
“We need to talk,” Katara says. “Jeong Jeong told me that you… don’t remember.”
The moonlight catches her hair, casting blue-black streaks into the strands. I should feel betrayed by my general’s loose lips, but I don’t. I knew he would tell her.
Sighing, she moves in front of me, between the rail and me. I try to step back, but Katara wraps her arms around my waist and tugs my resistant body toward hers. “I’ve come too far to let something like this come between us again,” she murmurs, pressing her cheek against my shoulder as if she is seeking some measure of comfort.
There is nothing seductive about her lack of regard for my personal space. The hug is one of comfort and remorse. I deserve neither. “Katara…” My voice is a husky prayer.
I shiver and close my eyes, picturing myself whole. I imagine the woman in my arms coming toward me with a serene smile on her face, embracing me willingly. I relax and give myself over to her care.
Pulling back, she looks at me, a sad smile gracing her full lips. “Since you have forgotten, I will tell you… most everything,” she teases.
“Everything?” I ask.
She blushes, suddenly finding a spot on the deck to study. “There are some thoughts that you will never be privy to.”
I chuckle. I am not sure who is startled by the sound of my laughter most – Katara, the deckhands, or me. The moment of brevity is a welcome one. Katara taps her chin with her finger, as if she is trying to decide where she should start.
“Kaya and Iroh…” she starts, nibbling on her bottom lip in worry. “They’ll be five soon. I named Kaya after my mother and Iroh after your uncle. Do you remember him?”
I shake my head, transfixed by the feel of her holding me and the sound of her voice. I don’t remember my uncle. I assume that he was nothing like my father. Otherwise, Katara would not have named my son after him.
She touches my cheek, the tactile sensation barely felt through all the scarring. She searches for words, struggling to piece my past together so that I may understand it. She doesn’t realize that I am glad I have forgotten it.
“I hurt you,” I whisper reverently, covering her hand with mine. “Why don’t you hate me?”
Her eyes linger on my misshapen lips. Closing my eyes, I shudder. I am thirsty for this woman. How can she stand to touch me, let alone look at me?
“I did hate you,” she admits. “I hated your touch. I reviled your sarcastic remarks… despised you for what you did. But you did it to protect me. You did it to protect my brother, Sokka.”
“I raped you… I – ”
“You were my lover before then,” she defends me against my own self-recriminations, her thumb brushing over my lips and stoking my desire for her. “You couldn’t fight your father. We would be dead now if it weren’t for your quick decision. Aang was dead… and all hope was dead with him.”
“Don’t,” I growl softly, clasping her hand and pulling it away. Visions of violence play in my memory. I burn for this woman. There is no way I can be the gentle man she needs me to be. “I’m not the same person. I can’t be that person.”
“I’m not asking you to be the same person,” she replies and places a gentle kiss on my knuckles. “I’m not asking anything of you, Zuko. If I were to ask something of you, I would ask you not to push me away.”
I am reluctant, yet I agree. I am drawn to her. I should walk away, but I won’t. She enchants me, the promise in her almond-shaped eyes holding me captive. Though I seek to protect her by distancing myself from her, I see now that it is a strategy that will never work. “Tell me something, Katara.”
“Yes?” Her smile is bright with hope.
“Did you pursue me or did I pursue you?”
A blush heightens the coloring of her cheeks, giving me the answer I sought. She has suffered untold horrors to find me, for what purpose, I do not know. But I can see the stubborn resolve in the delicate tilt of her chin and know that I cannot turn her away.
--
TBC
Author’s Notes – I cannot thank everybody who has been kind enough to review this story. And I can’t thank you all enough for your patience.
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