Beyond The Great Unknown, a Big Mouth/Final Fantasy crossover

I really hope everybody is enjoying the story so far. I know chapter 2 took a while to get out, but again, just be thankful I decided to split Devin's part or it'd have been WAY longer.

Again, this chapter concludes Devin's history, which she began in chapter 2, finishing the story of her and Devon's 'relationship' and 'marriage', then moving onto her jealousy of other girls, her own insecurities and home life, relationship with her parents and sister, and her struggles with anger and depression, then of course her life so far in high school post Devon, and ultimately season 8, Nick, her week bonding with Coco and Emmy, and finally tonight. Just like last chapter, the rest of her story will occasionally be emotional. In fact, I strongly suggest keeping a box of tissues handy for her whole part, lol. After we finish with Devin, we catch up with Emmy, find out what's been going on in her life since the final episode of Human Resources. Again, a very emotional part. 

Anyway, without further ado, let's go!!!

Devin's POV 

"When we got back to school after New Year, we decided to take it slower with our public displays of affection. As you know I was tired, and I honestly think Devon was tired too. We knew high school wasn't far off. We tried to just focus on the present, but it was always in the back of our minds."

Devin took a breath. She adjusted her back and head against the pillow propped up on the head of her bed. Under the covers, with only the lights over her curtain and Emmy's calming Lovebug glow for light, Devin felt herself growing sleepy, but she fought it. She HAD to get the full story out. 

"Only a month or so later we heard about the party at Nick's house, in his attic. We really didn't want to go at first. His uncle was just getting better, and his mom was making more money, but he had to stay home a lot and help them and his cousins, and at the time my dad was getting time off, so I liked to stay home and do family stuff. Eventually though we both decided to just check it out. Just for a few hours, both to keep up appearances as 'spouses', and for something fun to do. Well, as you know since you were probably there with Missy, the party ended up a disaster. Within half an hour we were totally bored. I remember getting angry when I saw Lola kissing Nick. I didn't know why, but it made me very angry to watch. Just to keep up with everybody else who was making out though, me and Devon kissed. I think that, that moment though, is when I realized the charm, if there ever had been any during our numerous makeouts, was gone. I never felt anything romantic when we kissed of course, but now I was starting to realize that even the thrill of doing it for an image was gone. I felt..........trapped. Not just in that musty attic with my fake husband and other horny teenagers, but in my own life. My own lies. "

She shook her head and took a deep breath. Letting it out slowly she took a couple more breaths and continued. 

"Of course I couldn't say anything. We had only JUST renewed our vows, and even though again it was pretend, if we divorced AGAIN immediately after, people would catch on. We'd be branded liars, posers. Attention hogs. Which we WERE", she added with a bitter laugh. "At that moment I just wished I could rewind time, back to when we first came up with this idea, and just simply refuse. To just agree to stay friends. I finally realized that the attention, the image, the pressure to maintain the image, was too much. I was suffocating. I finally realized I should have said no when he asked to remarry. I wanted to leave, just run away, but then Andrew's dad crashed the party and brought him home, and the Birches made everyone else leave soon after anyway. "

She paused for a moment and took a sip of the water. Replacing the cap and setting it down she continued. "For the next few weeks not much happened. I mean, we did that genealogy thing, and I found out we're descended from a land baron, who actually owned most of this neighborhood and the others when it was all farmland. But I already knew that, my dad knows almost all of our family history, including some real...... sordid details. She shook her head. "Anyway, then we did the Rice Purity Test. And I admit I......" She took a breath and sighed. "I admit, I fibbed about a few things. Really my score was HIGHER than Jessi's. Really, of course, the only things I've done is hold hands, kiss, and grope, or rather BE groped, courtesy of Devon, and masturbate. I know Devon lied on his too. In fact, I'm sure just about EVERYBODY did. " Devin frowned and thought. "In fact my score was probably closer to Nick's. I mean, I remember everybody urging him to reveal his. I knew he didn't want to reveal his score, because it was probably as embarrassing as my REAL one. I was the only one who didn't pressure him. "She shook her head again and sighed. 

Mona nodded. "Yes, but of course. I remember that test caused quite a stir at the school. I wouldn't be surprised if almost everybody DID lie. Or go too far trying to scratch some things off. Missy tried doing a couple of those things with her boyfriend at the time and it ended in disaster."

Devin nodded. "Yes. Some kids actually broke up with their boyfriends or girlfriends because of their score. Either too high or too low. " She sighed. "Then the Apple Brooch craze. Obviously Devon couldn't afford one, his mom was helping with the rent, and his uncle himself got laid off. As for me, well, my parents told me and Tiffany it was either Apple Brooches, or the trip to Disneyland we'd been planning for the past couple months. "As soon as the next paychecks come, and the bills are paid, we can go, and spend the week at Disneyland." That's what they kept telling us. So of course I got kinda jealous when I saw the other students with one, but now I realize even if I HAD gotten one, I probably wouldn't be using it anymore after tonight. Tech like that is as bad as social media. A prison for the mind, poison for the soul. As of tonight I'm never using that shit again. I deleted everything before you arrived."

Mona nodded and smiled. Devin again felt the Monstress admired her. "Yes, who needs that stuff? I'm just glad Missy only occasionally uses social media. She's more the spending time with family type. Well, that and masturbating. But the question is, with all that stuff gone, what are you gonna do now, if you don't mind me asking?"

Devin shrugged. "I dunno, Mona. Just focus on being a teenager, I guess. Spend more time with my sister. I mean, being in middle school herself now she has her own friend group, just like I did, and is more often than not on the phone with one of them in her room, and sometimes hangs out at one of their houses. But sometimes her and I hang out here at home, play a board game, or bake, or sing karaoke. But not as often as we used to. Now she's as busy with her new school and friends as my parents are with working. I'm actually kinda worried that Tiffany is gonna end up being like...... like I used to." She looked to the side, at the waste basket by her nightstand, where she had thrown all her makeup, lipstick, earrings and other accessories. She couldn't wait to take it out to the trash tomorrow. 

Mona, as if sensing her thoughts, nodded. "Yes, but that's the key word, darling. USED to. Your sister is younger, and like all younger siblings, probably looks up to you, the older. You can set a better example. I take it you've never treated her like you used to treat your schoolmates? " 

Devin shook her head. "Of course not. Like I said she's my best friend, next to Lola. I often had to look after her after school when my parents were working, and she ALWAYS listened to me, never gave me trouble or tried to annoy me. I think I'm one of the very few people who can honestly say they've never wished they DIDN'T have a sibling. I'd do ANYTHING for Tiffany. "

Mona nodded. "As I would for Missy. DID your family go to Disneyland then?"

Devin nodded, and smiled as she savored the memory. "Yes. Just after Graduation Day at Bridgeton Middle. For an entire week. Stayed at the closest hotel, and had breakfast every morning before heading there. Tiffany liked having the pancakes, and would drench them in both whipped cream AND syrup!!". She laughed, and continued. "Went on almost every ride: The Haunted Mansion, Pirates Of The Caribbean, Indiana Jones, the new Star Wars ones, Jungle Cruise. Visited the museum and gift shops, watched the parades and fireworks at night. Just for a week, I was finally able to take my mind off school and Devon and social media and popularity. It was like I was 7 again, the last time we were there. Even Petra couldn't bother me there. Couldn't stand the noise, couldn't stand watching so many people "wasting their fucking time", as she put it, so she stayed away, and only came back when I got home. Deep down though I had a feeling this was as good as it was going to get for a long time. And of course I was right."

Mona nodded. "Yes. Your first days at Bridgeton High. And Devon. The TRUE end, so to speak. "

Devin nodded and took a deep breath. This was it. The end of the line. The ultimate end of the act, the two-star play they had been performing for almost all their childhood, rehearsing between acts, adjusting the script, switching roles, surprising their audience with plot twists at every turn. It had all been building up to this. Her heart raced slightly, with both nervousness and excitement to finally get this off her chest. After a couple more breaths she continued. 

"Well, a day or so after we got back from Disneyland, a week before school started, Devon called me with the news. He told me that his uncle had been transferred. His job was transferring him out of state, to Chicago. Not only would he be making more money, but he wouldn't have to work as hard, cause he was still recovering. His uncle and his mom had talked, that he could get her a position at his new job too, and she would make more than at the two jobs she worked now. Together, they could support both Devon AND his own children. Devon's dad was looking at at least ten years, so he wouldn't be out anytime soon, but he really hoped with his mom and uncle's new jobs that maybe he could get some real help for his condition, so he could keep playing sports, maybe get an athletic scholarship in his senior year or college. This could be his shot. His mom had already agreed. He told me they were leaving just the day before high school started. "

Devin sighed and looked at the floor as she relived the conversation in her head as she told it. "We must have talked for like 3 or 4 hours. About everything. Kindergarten. Middle school. The act. The wedding, divorce and re-marriage. Our families. The future, mine here, and his in Chicago. We both cried at times. We heard about Lola's get-together at Jay's, but neither of us wanted to go. He had to stay home the next few days and help pack, and my parents started work in the next few days, so I just wanted to stay home and do stuff with them and Tiffany. We watched movies together, like old times, played board games, and they took both of us back-to-school shopping for clothes and stuff. Then, before I knew it, he texted me the morning before school, the morning of his family move. He promised to text me while he was on the road, when they got there, and as long as their phone plan supported out-of-state texting. So for the next few days we just texted on and off, whenever he was in the car or they were making a stop. Then he texted me a picture of the new house and his room. I was busy with school, and mom and dad had just started working again. I was balancing trying to fit in in high school and getting used to life without him physically there. It was so bizarre. I'd just text him during PE or during lunch, and he'd respond while he was unpacking or setting up his room. It's like we were on separate planets instead of states. "

Devin adjusted the pillow, which had been sliding down, and adjusted her head against it. Taking another quick sip of the water, she replaced the cap and set it down. After a few breaths, she continued. "Then, one day, he texted me and said he might have to slow down the texting, or find another way to talk, because his mom and him were on the same plan, and texting me out of state was costing her extra. Their new plan in Chicago didn't support out-of-state texting. He told me he had just started his new school, and it was going good. Said he was trying out for the basketball team there, and his mom and uncle were doing great at their job. He said he'd text when he could. I said ok. I really didn't know what else to say. Almost a week later he called on his new phone with his new phone number. Chicago number. We talked for about an hour or so. Just about our different lives. Our different schools. Said he might actually apply for internship at his uncle and mom's job for summer next year. I told him that's good. I wouldn't want to do that, sometimes I can barely function at school and keep a straight face. I'm not ready for a job or even think about one. I'm only 15. But then he told me he had to go, his mom only let him make that call to try his new phone and so I'd have the number. After that we kind of just faded out, me texting him and waiting for a reply,him sometimes not responding till days later while he focused on his own life. Then one day I texted something, I think just an lol on a joke he made about basketball as he was getting ready for PE, and he never texted back. Maybe I should have said something else, try to force the conversation. Maybe I should have sent a message the next day or the day after. I even thought about it, but I kept getting distracted. I mean, I had only recently joined the cheerleading squad, at both my mom's suggestion and Petra's nagging. I'd spent enough time on the soccer team and around the basketball court when Devon was playing. I knew the cheer routine by heart. "

Devin paused for a few moments, catching her breath. "I figured being on the cheerleading squad would make both my mom and Petra happy, and keep me just popular enough so the school wouldn't eat me alive. Like that girl Lulu. I saw Jessi hanging out with her and her crew. I could tell Lulu was popular for other reasons. She was TOUGH. I was smart enough to know to stay away from Lulu. Both Petra and my mom were always warning me about the REAL mean girls. Jessi might have won her respect, but girls like me and the cheerleaders, they exist to make our lives a living hell. So I just kept close to my cheerleading squad and Lola, and slowly just forgot about Devon's last text. In the back of my mind I kept thinking and hoping he'd text back, but I had too much on my mind, and in a way I was glad I was finally leaving Devon and all that in the past, even though I missed him. " 

She sat and thought for a moment. She really DID miss Devon. Sometimes she still half expected him to be saving her her usual spot next to him on the bus, or turn to talk to him in class. Even her parents would still talk about him and his family like they still lived only blocks away. Even though she still had Lola, deep down Devin craved somebody more...... stable. Devon had always been a great friend, a shoulder to cry on. They would help each other with their homework, discuss their favorite shows and music, even lend each other money in an emergency. True, the "romance" thing was pretend, but she had still LOVED him as a friend. Several months after he moved, and over a month since his last text, and she sometimes still woke up expecting to see him or talk to him that day. But why COULDN'T she bring herself to text HIM, in case he was just busy? Why couldn't she follow up her last "lol" with a simple "hey" or "what's up?" She didn't know exactly, but every time she went to her contacts and saw his name, and felt the urge to message back, an even stronger feeling told her to let it be. Like an invisible hand grabbing HER hand and stopping her from texting. An invisible, disembodied voice in her head saying "if he wants to talk again, he'll text YOU." 'Or maybe I'm just a coward', she thought. 

Devin sighed and continued. "Well, for the next week or so after his last text not much happened. Well, except for homecoming. But you KNOW what happened there. You told me you saw me. "

Mona nodded. "Yes, darling. But please tell the story anyway, tie it to the rest, leading up to tonight. Anything crucial. I feel THIS is crucial."

Devin sighed. She REALLY didn't want to talk about that night. After her week with Coco, and after so much reflection on her life, and after her journey tonight, she hoped she wouldn't have to relive such a painful night. That by declaring tonight the start of a new Devin, and closing the book on her old life, that that night would lie buried and forgotten. But then again, she had tried doing the same with Devon, but talking about him, and telling the true story, had lifted some of the weight these secrets and lies had put on her heart and soul. Perhaps talking about THIS would help too. 

Devin sighed for like the hundredth time that night. "Ok, fine. Just a minute. " She grabbed the water and took a long drink and replaced the cap. Setting it down she looked at the time. 1: 40. 'Why does time always go so fast when you're talking? It feels like hours when it's only been minutes, but I feel like I've been talking FOREVER.' 

She shook her head and adjusted the pillow, settling her back and head against it. She looked over at Emmy, who was still sitting in the chair by the window. She was still glowing, the light purer than any lightbulb, more beautiful than any firework. Gentle and calming like a candle, but never flickering, and warming like a campfire. Devin could feel it even from across the room. She was still looking directly at Devin and still smiling. Devin met her gaze, and Emmy nodded encouragingly. 

Devin took a few deep breaths and continued: " Ok, well, naturally we were all told of the homecoming dance at least a month earlier, and I notified BOTH of my parents in advance, just to make sure they would remember. My dad had the business trip, but assured me he would make sure he would talk to his boss, and make sure he would be back in time. My mom was working as a second coach for a major women's soccer college tournament between two colleges the week of the dance, but also assured me she would be off in time to be there. Just in case, I occasionally dropped a hint during dinner or an occasional family game night during the weeks leading up to the dance."

Devin sighed. "Well, naturally just a couple days before the dance, dad called and said he'd been held over, and probably wouldn't be home until late afternoon the day AFTER homecoming. As for mom, well, she told me she had an important dinner meeting that night with super important people of the college board where she was coaching, but I KNEW it was just another wild night with her friends, some of them from the board, because I overheard her on the phone. I wanted to confront her about it, face her with her lie, to fucking SCREAM at her, but of course I didn't. I just fumed for the next couple days. When Tammy and the other cheerleaders picked me up, of course I told them what I'd heard. And obviously you saw me talking to Tammy in the corridor and crying."

Devin felt another stab of anger and sadness as she continued, struggling with all her will to hold back the tears. "I mean, it just wasn't FAIR. I mean, I understand that it's just a DANCE, but I've seen so many movies and shows about homecoming, I was excited to finally go to my first one at Bridgeton High. In almost ALL of those movies and shows, the girls parents are usually THERE, and at graduation. But for my very first homecoming at my new high school, they couldn't be there!! My dad couldn't get out of his trip, and my mom straight up LIED to her 15 year old daughter about being BUSY the night of. I mean, all I've ever wanted is for them to BE there. I mean, by sure, they BOTH managed to be there for my MIDDLE school graduation, before I started at Bridgeton High, but they MISSED my 7th grade graduation. When I complained, they just said "well, hon, you're still going to the same SCHOOL, just a different GRADE!!! We'll be there for the BIG one!!!". Well, they WERE, when I graduated Bridgeton Middle for good, they kept their word. But they didn't make the play, which was cancelled anyway, but still....." 

Devin heard her voice break again, and the tears burst from her eyes like rain from swollen clouds. "They've missed SO MANY important things. OTHER school plays, me AND Tiffany. Spelling bees. Soccer practice. Tiffany's ballet classes. Even their own anniversary sometimes. And definitely more than ONE birthday, me and Tiffany BOTH. Usually dad just gives us like 50 bucks, sometimes more, a week in advance and says "just in case I'm not back, you can get that thing you want!!". Because he usually can't REMEMBER the thing. And mom usually just takes us to the mall, lets us pick out something, then takes us to lunch. We USED to have our birthday parties in the park, when we were both very little. You know that park a few miles from the middle school? The one with the big old wooden jungle gym, with the bridge and slide and monkey bars? Well, my parents used to throw our birthday parties there, and invite our whole class. They even used to rent a cotton candy machine from the party store."

Despite her sadness, Devin smiled through her tears at the memories. " It was SO MUCH fun!!! Me and Devon would always have a contest on the swings to see who could go higher. Lola would always push the other kids out of the way to go down the slide first. I'd always try to get the slice of cake with my name. I remember on like my sixth or seventh birthday we even had a bouncy house!!!" Devin laughed, but then the sadness returned, and the tears flowed anew. 

"But I think that that moment, on the school stairs, the night of homecoming, I think, remembering those parties, I think that's when I realized I had truly HAD friends back then, real ones, at THOSE schools, at those parties. I think THAT was when I TRULY realized I actually missed Devon. I REALLY needed him right then, just for somebody to talk to. Tammy is great, all the cheerleaders are, but also a bit snobby, even though that's the pot calling the kettle black, I know. And Lola, she's, well, Lola. Even I'M sometimes scared of her. Devon, he was, well, my oldest, and probably only REAL, friend. He knew all about my family, how my parents often flake, just like I knew all about HIS family, the stuff I told you. We had both seen each other cry, and always talked till the other felt better. If he had been there, I knew he would have found a way to make me laugh and smile and forget all about it. Even though I couldn't bring myself to text him again, like I told you, I kept thinking of him, and all those times together at birthday parties or on the playground at recess and playing co-op games, or helping each other with homework. Just remembering all those things helped a bit." 

Devin sniffed and wiped her face. She raised her shirt and dried the tears from her eyes. When she opened them Emmy was standing by her side. Still glowing and smiling, she patted Devin soothingly on the shoulder. "There, now. I know that was hard, but you feel better, right?" 

Devin sniffed again and nodded. She smiled. "Yes, a bit. " She turned to Mona, who was still sitting on the other side of the room on her makeup table. "You were right, Mona. I think talking about it DID help. "

Mona nodded. "When I saw you crying that night, I really, really wanted to appear to you, comfort you in some way, like I do Missy, but like I said, she was practically wigging out at the dance, and I knew I had to stay by her. But I truly DID pity you. Watching you for over a year, seeing your life. Coming to understand. To think I HATED you at first, but by then I yearned to comfort you, protect you. Guide you. As I said, that's why I'm here tonight. I could wait no longer. "

Devin smiled. "Well, thank you, but I'm still confused. WHY tonight?" 

Mona shrugged. "It felt like the best time, if any. After your speech, and seeing you and Missy hug, I knew it might be the ONLY time. When you said the old Devin was gone while talking to Nick, I could TELL you meant it. But you still needed guidance, puberty-wise. Romance-wise. Even just an advisor, a shoulder to cry on. If I didn't step in TONIGHT, during your metamorphosis, just when you were beginning that new chapter you mentioned, I was afraid you'd shut out ALL outside influence, including monsters, afraid they would hinder you. Lots of suffering teenagers do that. I mean, I saw you tell Petra to kick rocks, which was amazing, by the way. I'm still learning things MYSELF, Devin. Like how to be more patient, and let my clients go at their own pace. Like Missy and HER boyfriend. I won't pressure you, Devin. If anything, I'm simply here to see your journey to womanhood goes the way it should. I must say, your natural look is STUNNING. I myself was shocked, as was everybody else. I take it Nick never saw you without makeup when you were kissing?"

Devin shook her head. "No. Not until tonight, like everybody else. But let me guess, NOW you want to hear the part about Nick? The makeouts, the name-calling, the lies, me being shunned, Nick telling the truth, Coco, Emmy, and tonight, right?" 

Mona nodded. "Yes, darling. Just the events from your perspective. I mean, Emmy, if you want to jump in at any time, since you were there when......"

Emmy shook her head as she sat down in the chair again. "No, I'm good, we should let Devin tell the whole thing. Besides, I hate revisiting my Hateworm episodes." She shuddered as she smiled reassuringly at Devin, still glowing beautifully and calmly. 

Devin nodded and sighed. "Ok, well, just like everybody else, I was surprised when I saw Nick come to school tall. In fact at first I didn't recognize him. As you know I hadn't hung out with a boy since Devon, but something about Nick and his new...... personality seemed cool. We started hanging out. I'll be honest, I didn't really want to dive right into the kissing thing, and I was actually nervous. I mean, I think HE was too, since he made an excuse the day me and the girls offered him a ride. Tammy and the girls were all over me, asking me "are you going to do this?" or "have you done that?" I mean, I'm...... I mean I WAS the cheer captain, but I think they were more experienced than me. Even Lola. I don't know WHAT I was thinking, or was expecting. I was just so......so lonely. After that night. The night of homecoming. I think I just wanted something to distract myself. "

Devin sighed again. "Then, of course, IT happened. We were in a room, kissing. I don't think I was as into it as I was trying to delude myself I was. I think maybe I was just trying to avoid THINKING. Petra was pushing me harder than ever, telling me I had to stay on top in class to stay on the cheer team. My parents were back at work. I couldn't bring myself to text Devon. Like I said I think I was just trying to distract myself. And then he, well, he called me a, you know. "

Devin closed her eyes and sighed. "I don't know WHY I got so upset about him calling me that. I mean, it just startled me, when I was simply trying not to think. At first, I laughed. I mean, it was just so RANDOM. But then I realized he'd probably heard it in porn or something. And when I realized THAT, I thought two things: either he was more interested in porn than in ME, or he, well, he might have been wanting to do.......other stuff. Stuff I wasn't ready for. So I sort of just panicked and excused myself. I mean, I was just shocked and confused. I don't know what I was actually thinking. Naturally I told Lola. I had to tell SOMEBODY. But of course, once Lola found out, in just an hour, the whole SCHOOL knew. "

Devin reached for the bottle and took a long sip before replacing the cap and setting it down. She looked at the clock. 2: 00 AM. Devin's jaw ached from talking, her eyes felt heavy with tiredness. Part of her wanted to simply put the pillow in its right spot, lay her head properly on it, and fall into blissful, peaceful sleep. But the other part of her was driven by a burning desire to finish the story.  

Devin took a deep breath and continued. "I didn't actually think the other girls would actually go and CONFRONT Nick about what he said. After telling Lola I was just going to let it go, but then the other girls came and called me a liar. Saying that Nick said I lied. That I wanted attention." Devin felt the stab of sadness at her words. "Because of course that's usually what I want. Attention. Except I didn't. Especially not THIS kind. To be honest I actually didn't WANT to confront Nick. So he said I lied. So what? But then LOLA joined in. My oldest friend. Always so quick to jump in on the latest craze, which, at that moment, was joining the other girls in humiliating me. Plus Petra joined in, reminding me if I lost the respect of the cheerleaders and the popular crowd, I'd be all alone. So I went and confronted Nick in front of a bunch of students, but of course......" Devin shook her tired head. 

After another deep breath she continued. "That's about the time you showed up, Emmy. I'll never forget you just popping out of my drawer when I got home, saying all those terrible things. About me. About school and Nick and the girls. But mostly about ME. "

Emmy smiled, still glowing. "Yes, but I was a HATEWORM, sweetie. You mustn't think about...."

Devin shook her head. "No Emmy, that's just the thing. All those things you said about me, those were things I was always THINKING. How I'm a cold, rotten bitch. How people just worshipped me cause of my looks, or money, or the thing with Devon. Then when you saw my REAL life, the real ME, that's when it REALLY hit me. And I realized that perhaps the real reason I was so angry, it wasn't because of Nick or what he said, or because he'd turned the school against me. I was angry at MYSELF, my life. The makeup. Social media. My body. The image. The lies. Petra kept saying it was my fault for trusting Nick. But maybe it was karma. But either way, at that time I wasn't brave enough to simply throw all that aside and be the REAL me. I was simply too afraid. Afraid if I didn't get Nick to tell the truth, if I continued to be shunned, without Devon, I was afraid I'd just simply end up crawling back into my shell, and be the way I was in kindergarten. BEFORE I met Devon and Lola. "

Devin took a breath. "So you probably know what happened. Obviously Nick met Coco first, because he DID end up apologizing. But at the time I was too angry, both at him and myself. But then, that night. " Devin smiled at the memory. "I was just taking off my makeup when she showed up in the bathroom. Just telling me to love myself, no matter what. Petra of course was just worried I'd no longer be popular, but I liked YOUR idea better, Emmy. Eating cookie dough and having a movie marathon. Can't beat that. " Devin and Emmy both laughed.

Devin continued, still smiling. "I'll never forget seeing you as your real Lovebug self, Emmy. I really enjoyed the week you and Coco spent here with me. It was definitely the best week I've had in a long time. "

Emmy smiled bigger, and her glow seemed to get brighter. "Yes, it was a lot of fun. Definitely the most fun I've had with a client in AGES. "

Devin smiled bigger. "Yes. For just that week, I don't think I was nervous, anxious or depressed once. I simply concentrated on class and did my part for the cheerleading squad, then went home and would just sit with you and Coco and watch movies and listen to music and just talk. About ANYTHING. I know you had other jobs, Emmy, and Coco told me she was having her office in the Monster World set up again, but it was great that you two stayed with ME the entire time. "

Devin sighed, and her smile faded. "Then of course, tonight. When I first heard the news about Bridgeton Middle, well, I was as sad as everybody else. I mean, yeah, lots of bad things happened there, but this was where the whole thing started. Me and Devon. The popularity. The sleepover. The school play. I was sad. Like knowing that after tonight, every time I passed by the place where the school once stood, it would be just an empty lot. When I got there I just walked around all the empty rooms, especially the girl's locker room. I think that was where I truly thought about everything, all the history between me and the girls. Lola. Jessi. Gina. Ali. Missy. Emmy and Coco were there, but were mostly mingling with the other students and monsters. I just sat and thought for a long time before rejoining the others. And then of course I did what I had to do. You said you heard the whole thing, saw everything. Missy. Nick. Lola. Petra. Doing that, saying all that, it felt......good. Probably the best I've felt in years. It's like all those fears I've had for so long, losing my popularity and position, it all just vanished the second I wiped off that stupid makeup. And I'm NEVER wearing it again. Never covering THESE again", she gestured to the freckles on her face. "I meant it when I said it: no more hiding. No more lies. Everything that happened there, in middle school, as far as I'm concerned that was ANOTHER Devin, an EVIL Devin, and she's gone. Tomorrow any echo or trace left will turn to dust with the school."

Devin sighed. "Of course I don't know WHAT I'll do. Like I told Petra, who knows who I'll be. I just know I'm leaving all that in the past. Like Steely Dan said, "I'm never going back to my old school." But unlike the cruel girl in the song, I can't leave like a gypsy queen in a fairy tale. But I wish I COULD. Really, I'd love for nothing more than to get out of Bridgeton, permanently. Go somewhere, anywhere. I've always wanted to go to France, where my ancestors were from. LeSeven is a French name. It would be awesome to travel, see the world, like Coach Steve is doing. I mean really, who NEEDS school? " She sighed again and shook her head. 

She closed her eyes just for a second. Now the headache was kicking in. She had been up too long. But at least she was finally done with the story. Wasn't she? 

She opened her eyes and looked over at Mona, who was still looking at her as if waiting for her to continue. She nodded. 

"Yes. So there it is. The whole story. I knew it all along. I made the right choice. Even if I DO get in trouble, it will be worth it, darling. But, and forgive me for being so direct, but as a Hormone Monstress, I DO want to see what I'm working with. Could you get out of bed real quick, darling, and let me see?"

Devin was confused. "Wait, what do you mean?"

Mona smiled. "Just pretend you're at the doctor's, darling. Just drop the clothes real quick."

Devin was shocked. Celeste had only seen Devin naked a few times, mostly from walking into the bathroom after Devin had had a shower, thinking it was her room. Celeste had never even watched Devin pleasure herself, always giving Devin her privacy. For which she was grateful. 

Mona nodded again, as if sensing her apprehension. "Yes, just REAL QUICK, darling. Then I just want to quickly discuss your, um, history better, if you know what I mean, plus your health, body, and home life a bit better. Then I promise you'll be able to go to bed. "

Devin looked from her to Emmy by the window. Emmy nodded. "Just go ahead, sweetie. We're all girls here. Mona just wants to make sure you're developing well and are in good health. "

Devin looked incredulously from Emmy to Mona and back again, here mind still whirling from this strange request. Finally she sighed and got out of bed. She turned to Mona. "I imagine you'll want the overhead light on for this?"

Mona nodded as Devin strode across the room and flicked the switch. When the overhead light flickered on she turned back to Mona, who got off the desk and walked up to Devin. She smiled encouragingly. "It'll be ok, darling. Just real quick. Super fast. You'll have your clothes back on so fast you won't even get cold. "

Devin looked from Mona to Emmy one last time, then sighed. She was glad she wasn't wearing a bra or underwear. Reluctantly, she pulled off her shirt and tossed it on the bed, followed by her sweatpants, which she also tossed on the bed. 

At once, being completely naked in front of this new Monstress, and Emmy, who had also respected her privacy in the time she'd known her, Devin indeed felt embarrassed. And she DID feel cold immediately. She stood there, trying to resist the urge to cover, fighting not to blush, as Mona's eyes moved up and down her nude body. 

Mona nodded. "Hmmm, yes. I see. Yes, the breasts do need some work, a bit on the small side for your age. Shouldn't need TOO much work though. Pubic hair coming in nicely though. "Devin blushed as Mona knelt down and looked closer. "Yes, you do indeed still have your hymen. " Devin blushed harder and resisted the urge to cover her area, but Mona moved behind her. Devin heard her hum thoughtfully behind her. "The ass is great though. Legs, nice. Can't blame you for shaving them. "

Mona walked around to face Devin again. She nodded. "Ok, you can put the clothes back on darling, I've seen what I needed to see. "

Devin sighed quietly in relief as she grabbed her clothes off the bed and slipped them back on. She turned off the overhead light and sat back down as Mona studied her. Mona nodded. 

"Yes, yes. I DO have a bit of work to do, but luckily Celeste didn't stunt you TOO much. But besides the boobs, there's only so much I can do. For instance, you are WAY too skinny, darling. I mean, how often do you eat? Obviously judging by this ritzy house you should have no problem affording food. "

Devin shrugged. "I just feel sick if I eat too much. I mean, I eat the basic meals: breakfast, lunch and dinner, and occasionally have a snack, but if I have too much ANYTHING I feel nauseous, and have actually thrown up more than once, AT the table. My mom says I might have some sort of medical condition, but the doctors couldn't find anything wrong. But Mom just says I need to exercise. "Make your BODY stronger and your STOMACH will be stronger", she says. She makes me work out on the Peloton every morning, and sometimes in the afternoon. She uses it every morning too. Usually 5 to 8 minutes, every morning before I shower. And sometimes I do stretches and crunches here in my room. The way mom taught me. Sh

e makes the girls she coaches do all those basic exercises before a game too."

Mona shook her head. "But darling, your tummy barely has ANY muscle, and your legs are basically sticks. Your arms too. And your upper body is so skinny your shirt is sliding off one shoulder. I don't know if you're lying about exercising, or if your mother is misleading you, or....."

"I'm NOT lying, and my mom would NEVER mislead me", Devin said vehemently. "I used the Peloton this morning. The usual time. I don't know WHY nothing works, or why I can barely eat without feeling sick. Do you think I LIKE it? Being the skinniest girl in school, or BARELY having a chest? My mom had me in training bras until I was 14, because she said there was "no point" in spending money on real bras until I grew REAL boobs. I only have like 3 real bras. I suppose......" Devin trailed off as the realization hit her. "I suppose THAT'S why I was jealous of Gina before."

Mona nodded. "Yes. I heard about that. In fact we skipped over that part. Why don't you tell us about THAT? Gina. Devon. The sleepover. "

Devin sighed. Just when she had thought storytime was over. But she knew talking about it would help. 

Devin decided to get back into bed before she continued. Grabbing the water she downed the rest and tossed it into her waste basket, then slipped back under the covers, resting her head on the pillow. She took a deep breath.

"Ok. Well, when the school started talking about Gina and her...... body, of course I felt inferior. I had only JUST turned 13. Me and Nick have the exact same birthday, you know. You heard about Jessi running away that year, right? With Jay? They were gone for like several days. We both turned 13 only the day after she ran off. So of course, being 13, I was stupid and immature, and of course at that time a bitch. You know all about the deal with me and Devon. Well, he DID tell me he liked Gina, and was thinking of asking her out. But I knew he was only focused on her....... you know. When I told the girls about it, I wasn't FAKING. Like that part wasn't an act, like the marriage. I was actually UPSET. I'd just turned 13, like I said, and mine were barely coming in. And all I had were my old training bras to support them. My mom kept telling me SHE wore training bras through middle school. "It's no big deal, you'll catch up to some of the other girls."" 

Devin shook her head sadly. "Well, soon after Devon made it official. They started dating, and all the other boys continued to swoon over Gina. Including Nick. I remember just getting angrier and sadder the more I heard about it. When I heard Lola wanted to ask out Andrew, I decided it'd be the perfect opportunity to make Devon jealous if I asked out somebody too. Naturally I chose Nick cause they're friends. But well, you know what happened at the golf course. And the fallout with Andrew and Lola. I never really liked Andrew, but I didn't like that Lola hurt him. Then of course SHE played victim, and kept bitching to me the next week or so about how Andrew quote "used her for sex", which just made me angrier, especially since Devon had had the nerve to come crawling back. Like I'M the one who felt used. Like I was just an accessory, something flashy he could put on and take off whenever he wanted. "

Devin shook her head again and sighed. " Well, fast-forwarding to THAT night, the night of the sleepover, well, when I heard what happened between Gina and Nick, again I was really jealous. Not because of the boob-touching itself, but again because I barely HAD any. Now BEFORE you say that I started the whole fiasco, again, I only told LOLA after Jessi told ME. I mean OBVIOUSLY she was going to share it to everybody, but at the time I was just too angry to care. But then, outside, when we were supposed to be watching the eclipse, well, you KNOW what I did. What I said to Gina. " Devin hung her head in shame as the guilt and remorse clutched her heart. She felt the tears break loose again. 

"Like, I don't know WHY I did it. I don't know WHY I did the things I did, SAID the terrible things I did. All I know is I was a HORRIBLE person. Lola was right to say she didn't want to be my friend anymore that night. I can't blame her. Obviously she DID talk to me only a few days later, and invited me to her Valentine's Day party a week or so later. But maybe I didn't deserve it. I mean, Gina, Missy, they never did ANYTHING to me!! Why, WHY was I so horrible?!! I mean, I heard some of the girls say Gina was CRYING because of what happened, after our fight. And then her and Nick broke up because of me. And Lola. But mostly ME. "

Mona nodded. "Yes. And not only that, but did you know that my best friend Connie was her Hormone Monstress at the time? After Gina and Jessi's argument, following your scuffle with Gina, Connie decided she couldn't be BOTH Jessi AND Gina's Monstress, if they couldn't get along, so she quit. Just like she left Nick because of his former feelings for Jessi. Connie will ALWAYS choose Jessi."

If Devin had felt guilty before, now it felt like a red hot knife in her heart. Wave after wave of guilt, shame, and remorse crashed against her heart like a tide against a cliff, and tears fell from her eyes like rain. "Oh god, oh my god", she gasped. "I......di.....I didn't KNOW!!! If I h.....had known, I would have....." Devin struggled to speak through her sobs. "All this time!!!! I never KNEW!!! Oh god, I thought I could change, but maybe it's too late, and...." Devin struggled to breathe. She could taste the salty taste of her tears, clogging her throat as she fought against her sobs. " Like maybe it's just too little too late!! Like why SHOULD anybody BELIEVE me, or FORGIVE me? I've done too much evil, too much damage, hurt too many people. Gina must absolutely HATE me!!! And she has eve.....every RIGHT to, as does everybody else. Maybe it'd ju....just be better if.... If I was de....was DEAD!!!!!" Finally Devin broke down completely, burying her face in her hands, her entire body shaking with her sobs. 

Emmy gasped and ran over, grabbing Devin firmly by the arms. She pulled her hands away from her face, and clasped her hands firmly between hers. 

"Devin, don't EVER say that!!! Devin, listen to me. You are NOT a bad person. You never WERE. You simply got so caught up in this act that you and Devon were putting on that you let it sort of rewrite you. But the REAL you was ALWAYS in there!!! And now she's free. This, THIS is you, Devin. The beautiful, sweet, intelligent, brave young girl I've come to know over the past week. The Devin that did those things you mentioned? That was ANOTHER Devin, like you yourself said. The REAL Devin was still there the whole time, she was just.... hiding. But you yourself said it: "no more hiding." It is NEVER too late, Devin."

"She's right", said a voice from the corner of the room. Devin and Emmy turned. There, standing in front of Devin's closed bedroom door, stood Coco. 

Devin gasped. She swallowed several times, clearing the tears from her throat, trying to find her voice. "Coco, you came back", she finally croaked. 

Coco nodded. "Yes, Devin, of course. I knew you needed me. I hear everything, you know. That's the great thing about these big ears. Devin, look, Emmy is right. It is NEVER too late. You've made so much progress tonight", she said, looking at her bare walls and discarded makeup and photos in the trash. "But the thing about compassion is you can't just simply declare yourself a changed person by wiping off your makeup and making a speech. You need to make things right with the people you hurt. You need to APOLOGIZE to them, Devin. It's the ONLY way that they will feel better. That YOU will feel better. "

Devin sniffed and wiped her face. "But..... but what if it IS too late? The sleepover was over two years ago. Same with Missy. Sure, she comforted me, and hugged me, but that doesn't mean she FORGIVES me. Same with Jessi and Lola. "

"But if the apology comes from the heart, from the WHOLE heart, that's the most SINCERE form of apology, of compassion. Devin, YOU have a BIG heart, I can tell. Only a person with a big heart could feel such remorse as you feel right now. You've just got to put that remorse into words and actions. SHOW them how sorry you are, Devin. SHOW them that you are changed." Coco smiled. "Just be the Devin you were tonight, the Devin I spent a week hanging out with, but just magnified times ten. "

Devin sniffed again and nodded. "Ok, I'll try. On Monday I'll try and get all the girls together and talk to them. I just don't know if they will WANT to listen to me, or if there will even be enough TIME to say everything I need to say. "

Mona smiled. "Darling, you forgot what this coming Monday IS. Most kids have had it on the calendar for weeks. Monday is Lax Day. "

Devin gasped. She had completely forgotten. A Lax day. A school day created by the Bridgeton School system for both Bridgeton Middle and Bridgeton High for students to enjoy themselves. A day of no classes. The students were free to do absolutely anything they wanted, except mischief of course. The school would even order pizza for lunch, and allowed students to bring game systems from home and play them in the unused classrooms. However, the day was secretly a test, as they secretly wanted to see if the students would still focus on their normal assignments or even extracurricular activities. The teachers would monitor the students, seeing which ones simply hung out, played, or goofed off, and which ones actually STUDIED or put their efforts into other productive activities. Devin realized that she would have ALL DAY to make amends. If the girls would WANT to listen....

Coco seemed to read her mind. "Sounds like the best chance. You know the saying: "you miss a hundred percent of the shots you don't take." Take the shot, Devin. Don't be afraid of whether or not they will forgive you. The point is DOING it. Cause compassion isn't just something you FEEL, it's what you say and do with your heart."

Devin nodded. She felt a bit of her sadness fade, and was replaced by the fiery determination she had felt when she had gotten home tonight. She felt it building in her heart, burning away the nervousness and doubt. She nodded again and looked at Coco. She smiled. "Ok. I will. Monday. First thing. Before ANYTHING else. "

Coco smiled back. "Awesome. Now I can't stay for another week, Devin. It was fun, but now my office is finally ready again, and the Tube has already sent me several clients. But I promise I will check in when I can. " She put a hand on her shoulder. "Just promise me you will keep your compassion alive. NEVER let it die. You have so much potential for compassion. That is why I stayed with you. You have SO MUCH in here", she placed her large hand gently on Devin's skinny chest", "and I can feel it so strongly."

Devin got out of bed and threw her arms around Coco, hugging her tightly. "I will. I promise. Thank you SO much, Coco. I love you. I really hope I WILL see you again soon. "

Coco hugged Devin back and patted her. "I'm sure you will. There are SO many teenagers who need compassion. I'm sure your school is full of them. In fact I probably have a busy year ahead of me." They pulled apart, and Coco smiled again and nudged Devin gently under the chin. She turned to Mona and Emmy. "I'll see you gals at the office, I guess. It's so great to be working with y'all again. " A portal appeared, and Coco stepped through and vanished, the portal closing and disappearing. 

Mona turned back to Devin immediately. "Well, darling, only a couple more things I want to discuss. You mentioned earlier you've dealt with Depression Kitties. Tell me, how often do you feel depressed? And do you think it could be linked to your eating disorder?"

Devin thought. "Well like I said, ever since I met Emmy and Coco, I haven't really felt depressed in a while. I suppose I get a little depressed now and then when my parents flake, like that night at homecoming. I didn't see a Kitty that night though, cause like I said I thought of those moments with Devon. " She sat and thought for another moment. "And yeah, I actually used to get a lot more depressed about my body when I was younger, like during middle school. Cause like I said the doctors couldn't find anything wrong, any reason to explain why I couldn't gain weight, or be able to eat much. I think I was almost 12 the first time I saw her, my Depression Kitty. My pediatrician, Dr Wendy Engle, just suggested my mom put me on energy drinks like Powerade and that I eat energy bars and stuff. HE'S the one who suggested the Peloton, cause he thought working out would increase my appetite. My mom also made me eat lots of yogurt, cause it's good for stomach health. And it worked a bit, I gained a few pounds here and there, but not enough to satisfy my mom or Dr Engle. Which only made me feel worse, cause of course back then I was her "little angel" and wanted to please her. And Petra just added fuel to the fire by constantly screaming at me as I used the machine, jogged around the block, or did exercises in my room."

Devin paused and took a few breaths before continuing. "So about that time is when I first saw her. The Kitty. I remember being kind of scared. Especially the stuff she said. Stuff I was FEELING. That I was disappointing my parents with this eating and weight issue, even though it was beyond my control. That I'd soon become too weak to play soccer. That I might not live to see adulthood. All things I myself was worried about. I tried my best to drown her out: listening to my music at top volume, working on one of my poems, or, at Celeste's suggestion, pleasuring myself. But of course she wouldn't go away, cause my mom kept extending my exercise routines, or making me drink protein shakes, some quite nasty, and absolutely forbade me from eating candy. I suppose that's why I stole that candy at the sleepover. I hadn't had candy in months. Of course that sleepover was the night she started bothering Jessi. I remember her telling me "lucky for you, somebody else needs me more." From then on I only saw her occasionally, like briefly while me and Devon were "separated" during the Hateworm fiasco, when I was dealing with so much. I'm surprised she didn't show up the day I got that call from Devon, the one that changed everything. The day I found out he was moving. I expected her to show up, but she didn't. So, it's actually been like a whole year since I saw her. I still get very sad, like tonight, talking about all these things, but I haven't actually seen the Kitty in at least a year. "

Mona nodded. "That's good, darling. I'm happy to hear that. Speaking of pleasuring yourself, how are you doing on that front?"

Devin felt herself blush. "Um, ok? I mean, no offense, Mona, but that's something I really don't like discussing."

Mona chuckled. "Oh come on, darling. We're all girls here. Just tell me, how often? And what do you use?"

Devin groaned. "Fine. I guess like every other day, or sometimes every three days, something like that. I don't exactly keep note. As for what I use, just my fingers. I don't really feel safe at the idea of putting anything else...... in THERE. I mean, definitely not something like the.....thing you saw in my mom's room. I mean even I know she has it, I've seen it. And I know some girls use stuff like toothbrushes or even VEGETABLES, but....." Devin shuddered at the idea. "That just seems like it would......hurt. Then again, I've heard that the actual FIRST time hurts too. The first time a girl has sex. That's what I've heard some of the older girls say."

Mona nodded. "First time is different for everyone, darling. Well, anyway, I suppose that's about it for now, I just wanted to get acquainted. I should be off soon, you really should be getting to bed. But before I go, why don't you read us one of those poems you mentioned?"

Devin was surprised. "You..... you really want to hear one of them?"

Mona nodded. "Absolutely. How long have you been writing?"

Devin smiled. "Well, I was like 10 when I wrote my first poem. I decided to try writing when I found out that's what my name means. Devin means "poet". I've written a few over the years, but until recently nothing major. But I actually DID write one just the other day. It's called Behind The Mask. It's actually about what I did TONIGHT. Removing my makeup, letting people see the real me. Destroying the old Devin. ALL of it. Want to hear it?"

Mona nodded, and Emmy jumped excitedly. "Hell YEAH, I want to hear it!!! You never told me you write, Devin!! That's so awesome!!!"

Devin smiled as she picked up her phone and went to her Notes app, which she kept locked with a password. After entering it she went to the file labeled My Writings. She quickly found the most recent one and clicked it. She cleared her throat and took a breath. " Ok, here it is. Behind The Mask." She took another breath to brace herself. They would be the first ones she ever showed one of her poems to. Somewhat nervously she read: 

"Behold the face that lies behind the mask. 

What secrets does it hide with each smile or frown?

How do its eyes see the world when awake,

and what dreams do they show when asleep?

But is the mask armor, to protect its wearer from harm,

or a prison, shackles wrought by the one who put it on? 

Does the soul behind love the mask like a king loves his crown,

or does it yearn to remove the mask and be free?

We all wear masks at some point in life. 

Some we wear with pride, others just to hide our pain. 

When we take them off, is it a stranger we will see?

The longer we wear our mask, how much more of our self disappears? 

I looked in the mirror, and the mask looked back at me. 

I no longer liked what I saw. The eyes behind were not my own. 

If I do not remove the mask today, I may never be free. 

Soon I will not be able to breathe. 

But when I remove the mask, will my old face be the same?

Will my eyes ever readjust to light after years in the dark?

Will my loved ones still recognize my real face?

Will I be able to smile again after frowning so long?"

Devin looked at Mona and Emmy for their reaction. Mona smiled. Emmy sniffed. "Devin, that was AMAZING. So beautiful, and so sad. Devin, you're a GENIUS!!! You should actually try signing up for a poetry club at school or something!!", she said. 

Devin smiled. "You really think so? I mean, I've never showed anybody else my work. I've always been kind of nervous what other people might think. "

"She's right, darling, you have talent ", Mona said. "As a Hormone Monstress, it takes a lot to impress me since I've seen so much in my lifetime, but that poem moved me in a way I've never felt. You really should try and get your work out there. Being known for something besides who you used to be would make you really happy, and I want-no-NEED-you to be happy, Devin. That's why I'm risking everything to be your Monstress. "

Devin thought. Maybe she was right. Devin had wrote that poem in a low moment, when she was still nervous about what she planned to do at the school tonight. Make that LAST night, as it was 2:30 in the morning now. But perhaps, with inspiration and enough confidence, she could finally write better stuff. HAPPY stuff. And Devin indeed wanted to feel TRUE happiness. She knew she would feel better on Monday once she apologized, but perhaps submitting some new work to the school poetry club would be another step in the direction she was headed. WHEREVER that was. 

Finally she nodded and smiled. "Ok, I will. On Monday. AFTER I make my apology to Missy, Gina, and the other girls." 

Mona smiled. "Excellent, darling. Well, you REALLY need some sleep, so I'll be going, but I'll try and drop in tomorrow if I can find some time, and...."

"WAIT, wait!!!", Emmy cried. "There's one more thing." She turned to Devin. "Devin, before me and Mona go, there's one more thing we need to discuss: you and Nick. "

Devin sighed. "Emmy, I told you, I have too much going on right now. I simply don't have time right now to sort out how I feel about Nick right now."

Emmy smiled. "But Devin, you HAVE figured it out. Devin, I was listening to your story the entire time. And I think I figured it out, even if you and Mona haven't. I think you've ALWAYS had feelings for him, even if you didn't know it at the time. "

Devin's head spun with confusion, which only made her sleep-deprived headache worse. "What do you mean, Emmy?"

Emmy smiled again. "Well, for starters, you COULD have asked out anybody when you tried to make Devon jealous, but you asked HIM. I know you said you asked him out because Lola liked Andrew, but do you think there might have been ANOTHER reason?"

Devin thought. "I dunno.....maybe."

Emmy nodded. "And let's not forget, you got jealous about Nick and the boob-touching thing. You said it's because you felt bad about your own boobs, but perhaps it's because it was NICK who touched them. PLUS being angry about Devon assaulting him, AND Lola kissing him. And didn't you say you liked somebody ELSE when you and Devon decided to separate?"

Devin's mind reeled. Other memories swam to the surface. The Smooch Or Share game Nick forced them to play at the sleepover. Devin remembered jokingly asking if Nick had created the game to kiss girls. She had said it as a joke, but then she remembered feeling jealous when Nick kissed Missy in front of her when the bottle had landed on her. She also again remembered the Rice Purity Test, and how she had felt irritated when the other students badgered Nick about his score. Then another crucial memory came back, something she hadn't mentioned: the day she had taunted Missy on the bus, she had seen Nick and Andrew talking about meeting up with Jessi during the trip. Devin could tell Nick was jealous about the boy Jessi had been seeing. She again remembered feeling jealous for some reason. Perhaps THAT was why she had teased Jessi about the leg hair sitch? 

Devin realized with a shock that Emmy was RIGHT. How COULD she have been so blind? ' She's right. I think I HAVE had feelings for Nick the whole time, but I'm such an IDIOT I didn't REALIZE.' 

Emmy seemed to read her mind. "See? You DO know. I KNEW it.'

Devin nodded, but frowned. "Yes but, I mean, after what happened..... I mean, it still hurts. What he did. I mean, I forgive him, but....." She sighed and shook her head. 

But Emmy wouldn't give up. "Devin, just like Mona, I want you to be happy, sweetie. You are so beautiful and kind and smart and wonderful. You're a wonderful person, an AMAZING poet, and, I might add, a great singer. I've heard you in the shower. " Devin blushed, but Emmy went on. "Devin, you have so much love in your heart. You need somebody to share that love WITH. Somebody who NEEDS love as much as YOU do. Nick has his own problems, just like YOU do. But perhaps together you can BOTH help each other. He's such a handsome, sweet, strapping young boy. And VERY tall I might add. "Devin laughed, so did Emmy. "Look, Devin, tonight was a night about second chances. For yourself. And you've done it. Don't you think Nick deserves a second shot too?"

Devin thought. 'Perhaps he DOES.' She had to admit, she had really enjoyed their makeouts. Nick's big lips were so soft. And his long arms were so strong when they had hugged. And she could TELL Nick meant it when he apologized. If SHE could change in just such short a time, surely HE could too? 

Finally she nodded. "You're right. I think he does. Ok, I'll talk to him. On Monday. But the girls come first", she added, looking at Mona. Mona nodded. 

"Excellent, darling. That's what I hoped you'd say. Ok, you REALLY need to sleep, darling. I'll come and see you tomorrow whenever....."

"Wait, wait!!!", Devin cried as a thought occurred to her. "Mona, tell Missy to get the other girls to meet me at school on Monday at least a couple hours BEFORE school. I know the school opens a couple hours before the students arrive, teachers getting ready and stuff. I was thinking, since Monday is Lax Day, maybe the teachers won't mind if we hang out there before the other students get there, since we don't have work. I want to tell them EVERYTHING. Everything I told you and Emmy tonight. Explain everything as well as apologize. It would give us more time if we get there early. So can you please tell Missy to call them today or Sunday, and get them to meet me BEFORE school? We can all walk there. None of us live too far. "

Mona nodded. "Sure thing, darling. That's a great idea. I'll definitely tell her. Anyway, good night darling. " She walked over and surprised Devin by hugging her. Devin was shocked, but quickly hugged her back. Mona smiled as they pulled apart. " I knew I made the right choice. I really DID misjudge you back then. "

Mona turned to Emmy as Devin got back into bed. "By the way Emmy, are you still living with Lionel in that drafty old church?"

Emmy shook her head. "Nah. My room kept getting wet when it rained cause half the roof was gone. I just moved into that little dinky motel next to the Mistake Factory. It's only about 10 minutes from work anyway. " 

Mona shook her head. "Well, since my house is finally rebuilt, would you like to..... well, stay for a while? The guest house is done too. It's just so lonely without my grandma around anymore. You can stay in the guest house."

Emmy smiled. "Awww, thanks, Mona!! Sure, I'll get my stuff when I get back and be over later today. "

Mona smiled. "Awesome. " She turned to Devin. " Well, good night darling. I'll see you later today. " A portal opened, and Mona stepped through, the portal vanishing as she disappeared. 

Emmy sighed. "Mona is so cool, and her house was so beautiful. I just hope it looks exactly the same. "

Devin smiled as she put her pillow in the right spot and adjusted the covers. She turned her clock radio back on, putting it on the lowest volume so only she could hear. "Yes, she is. I'm still going to miss Celeste, but I really, really like Mona. She's really sweet. "

But then Devin frowned as reality finally hit her. "So, I guess this is it? You have to go? "

Emmy frowned. "I'm afraid so, sweetie. I have other people to get to. But I just know you'll do awesomely on your own for a while. You and Nick are going to have something special, I just KNOW it. " Emmy's smile returned as a thought occurred to her. "Hey, you should write Nick a poem, and read it when you talk to him on Monday. "

Devin thought, then smiled. "Yeah. Yes that's a great idea. AND I'll write one for the girls, and read it to them after I talk to them and apologize. It would be a great way to finish. "

Emmy smiled. "Awesome idea sweetie. " She sighed. "Well, I should be going. But I promise I will check in as often as I can. "

She walked over and hugged Devin. Devin hugged her back with all her might. She felt her eyes water, but forced herself to smile as they pulled apart. "I hope so. I love you, Emmy. And thanks. For everything. You. Coco. Mona. I'm so happy I met all of you. "

Emmy smiled and her beautiful glow returned. "I love you too Devin. SO much. Good night sweetie. And good luck on Monday. " She stepped through the portal that opened and vanished, the portal disappearing immediately after. 

Finally alone in her room, Devin yawned. Well, she might as well get to bed. It was now almost 3 AM. But first, she opened her bedside drawer and rooted through it, pulling out the money she had saved. Birthday money and allowance. She counted it. She smiled. Yes, this should be enough to buy some new clothes. New her meant new clothes. But something different than her usual dresses. Something simple. Plain. When she woke up she would have her mom take her to the mall. And when she got home she would get to work on some new poems, including the ones for the girls and Nick. 

She put the money back in her drawer and closed it, then turned off her lamp. She fell asleep almost as soon as she closed her eyes. 

Emmy's POV

As soon as Emmy exited the portal, she first went straight to her desk to gather the lists of clients the Tube had sent her. Luckily, there wasn't as many as she had feared. Only about four or five. Taking the lists and putting them in her bag, Emmy turned and walked to the exit of the building, saying hello to the night shift workers, some who were getting ready to leave themselves. She walked out of the building, heading towards the motel to gather her stuff. 

As she walked, she thought of everything that had happened in just a little over a year. Getting her first client, and learning what responsibility truly meant. Saving her client and husband's marriage. Having her heart broken by that asshole Dante, not to mention nearly falling out with her best friend Rochelle, then later watching Dante be murdered before her eyes when the Hate Department tried to take over. And of course Van. Wherever she was. 

Emmy had never thought she would succeed as a professional Lovebug. In fact most of her life she had shirked responsibility. She had only gotten a job as Sonya's assistant to pay rent, but had spent most of her early years doing accurate, if mean-spirited, impressions of her co-workers, and secretly sneaking drinks at her desk or in the bathroom. She had only gotten her first client because Sonya herself got fired because she fell in love with a human. Then again, so had SHE. 

Emmy stopped and thought. THAT was what she hadn't told Devin. COULDN'T tell her. That the TRUE reason she had stayed for a week wasn't just because she wanted to make Devin happy, or enjoyed the company. But for another reason. Something Emmy had never told anybody. COULDN'T tell, because it was too painful. 

Emmy remembered once telling her friend and co-worker Pete about having not one but several abortions. That was bullshit. Emmy had only ever been pregnant ONCE. 

Emmy remembered how happy she had felt when she found out. She and her boyfriend at the time, Lane, had both looked forward to having a child. Emmy had only recently started working as Sonya's assistant after working as a mere office clerk for years. They had planned to marry after their child was born, and one day hoped to have their own house in the mountains. But the pregnancy had ended in miscarriage. Emmy and Lane had both been devastated. The grief had led to drinking for both. The drinking had led to fighting. And the fighting had led to the breakup, with Lane moving out of state. She had never heard from him again, and never been brave enough to try calling him. 

That, Emmy realized, was probably why she spent the first years as an assistant in a drunken stupor, skiving off true responsibility, and why she allowed herself to be taken in by an Addiction Angel of all creatures. Mending her shattered heart with booze, drugs, and sex. Before she knew it, 15 years had passed. Emmy never expected she would be forced to get out into the field. In fact she had secretly dreaded it, afraid she would royally fuck up.

But as soon as she had gotten her first client, Emmy had realized that not only was she GOOD at her job, but actually LOVED it. In fact, even though her earlier clients had often found her annoying, and one even fired her, Emmy had refused to give up. She COULDN'T. In fact, the more difficult a task seemed, the more driven Emmy had become. Perhaps it was because the responsibility had given Emmy the purpose she had longed for, something besides sitting in the office twiddling her thumbs and doing impressions or Would You Rather games. 

OR, perhaps, it was something MORE. Perhaps getting her clients to show love and keep it alive gave Emmy herself the ability to feel the self-love she thought she would never be able to feel again after Lane had left. That by bringing love and happiness and security to her clients lives that Emmy could vicariously feel those things again herself. But Emmy had never dreamed she would ever actually feel the love for a client she helped them bring to themselves. But then she had met Devin. 

At first, Emmy was surprised that her latest client was a teenager, as all of her previous clients had been adults. Emmy had been nervous, as she knew how mean and annoying teenagers could be. Rochelle had dealt with many of them. 

Emmy had actually gotten Devin as a client WHILE her and Nick were hooking up, but had overslept the morning of the infamous "cum-guzzler" incident and only arrived AFTER the fact, and by then Devin had been consumed by the anger caused by the incident, which inevitably turned Emmy into a Hateworm, which she HATED. Being a Hateworm always made her hungry, tired, and nauseous. Thank goodness Coco had shown up and saved the day. 

But as soon as she had turned back to her good old Lovebug self, Emmy had immediately felt...... drawn to Devin. There was something about her. Something that made Emmy want to help her. Make her happy. Protect her. Emmy could tell immediately that there was so much good and love in the girl, despite her apparent reputation. But also much pain and sadness. She immediately knew she HAD to stay. She knew she would never be able to forgive herself if she left Devin before she was able to smile with her whole heart. 

But as Emmy stayed with Devin over the week, along with Coco, she had felt those feelings, the desire to help Devin and see her happy, grow stronger with each passing day. As they discussed practically everything, from music to boys to plans for the future, the realization had dawned on Emmy: Devin was exactly how she would have wanted her daughter to be, if she had lived and been born. Her daughter would have even been exactly the same age as Devin. Emmy had finally realized the truth: she loved Devin like her own daughter. 

The realization both filled Emmy with a happiness she thought she could never feel again, and also terrified her, as she was sure these feelings were forbidden. Just like the romance between Sonya and Claudia was forbidden,she was sure attachment to a human, particularly THIS type, was also forbidden, or at least taboo. Yet she couldn't lie to herself: she loved Devin, and would take a bullet for her. When Devin had broken down crying, saying she would be better off dead, Emmy hadn't felt like a bad Lovebug, but a bad MOTHER. 

But, Emmy wondered to herself, what exactly was wrong with that? Devin HAD a mother, sure, but Emmy knew her mother was in large part to blame for the sadness that filled her precious heart. Emmy would give ANYTHING to stay on Earth, to adopt Devin, and her sister of course, and raise them as her own. To see Devin's beautiful, adorable face every single day. Emmy would see to it that Devin would want for nothing. She longed to hold Devin tightly, to fill her with her light, to give her ALL her love, to fill Devin's aching heart with warmth and love and happiness. She would even let Nick stay over sometimes. Emmy just KNEW he would make Devin happy. 

Emmy sighed and shook her head. Stupid, foolish thoughts. IMPOSSIBLE thoughts. There was no room for wishful thinking in this business. She had a job. That job was Emmy's reason for existing, her purpose in life. Wishing to leave that job, to live on Earth with Devin wasn't just IMPOSSIBLE, it was stupid and selfish. EVERYBODY needed love, not just Devin. Emmy's purpose was to bring love and happiness to ALL humans. If Emmy only focused on Devin, because of these feelings, then Emmy felt she was focusing on her OWN happiness, which was selfish and wrong. 

Emmy sighed again. She really needed somebody to talk to. She thought of Pete, but she knew he would only tell her the same thing she was thinking, in an annoying Logic Rock way: that logically Emmy's dreams were impossible, and forbidden, and that she needed to focus on her job. Walter and Rochelle would no doubt remind her of what happened to Sonya. She knew they would try and comfort her too, but for some reason she felt that would only make her feel worse. 

Emmy saw the Mistake Factory up ahead. She knew Sonya was probably there, working the night shift. She knew Sonya would understand. She was, after all, the FIRST Lovebug to develop a forbidden attachment to a human. If ANYBODY could give her advice, she knew it would be HER. Plus she could use a drink. 

But, just as Emmy reached the door, about to open it, she stopped. Did she REALLY want to dump her problems on another? To sit down and get drunk and whine like she used to? Emmy knew that, in the beginning, Sonya, like everybody else, had had her doubts about Emmy stepping up as Sonya's replacement. So had Emmy herself. But over the past year or so, Emmy had surprised everybody, including herself, by tackling some pretty difficult cases. In fact, Emmy had even managed to get under the skin of the cynical, hedonistic Logic Rock Van, and get her to change her worldview on logic and love. Emmy felt a pang of longing as she thought of her. So beautiful. So awesome and mysterious, her aloof demeanor making her even more alluring. For a creature literally made of rock, her lips were surprisingly soft. Such a great kisser. Emmy had thought of her often over the past year, but hadn't seen her. Apparently still taking her leave of absence to "sort herself out." But how long did she NEED? 

Emmy sighed as she realized that that was what SHE needed to do: figure HERSELF out. Like Van. Like Devin. She couldn't rely on other people's advice. She had to rely on HERSELF. And she certainly didn't want a drink. Emmy realized that it had been over a week since her last drink. And she had coped just fine. In fact, she realized she felt better than she ever had. 

Emmy smiled as she started walking again towards the motel to grab her things and head to Mona's. At least from now on she would have a nice place to stay. Warm. Cozy. Dry. No crabs. No leaks. No Shame Wizards. 

Emmy's smile grew bigger. She realized she was actually excited about getting to work as soon as possible. She may not know how the future would turn out, but swore she would face it with all the glow in her body and all the love in her heart. And she would do it sober. 

Missy's POV

Missy was shocked to discover that Devin was Mona's new mystery client after Mona delivered her message, and even more surprised that Devin wanted to meet her and the girls before school on Monday. 

Missy remembered Devin's speech last night, and comforting and hugging her, but also remembered everything she had done and said. Making fun of her at Jessi's sleepover, and making an embarrassing video of her she and Lola had planned to post. Making fun of her braids. Laughing at her for using a Diva cup, even though THAT had been a lie. Being so mean to all of her friends. Sure, Devin had made a great speech, and smiled and hugged her back, but......

As if reading her thoughts, Mona sighed. "PLEASE, Missy. You weren't THERE at her house last night. You didn't see what I saw, hear what I heard. Devin NEEDS you, Missy. You and the other girls. Didn't you start that affinity group to HELP people? Well, being there for Devin would help HER greatly. "

Mona was referring to the affinity group Missy had tried starting about a year ago. The first and only meeting had ended in disaster after Jessi and Ali had pretty much taken over. But she was right: Missy had wanted to make a difference. To inspire her fellow students to help others. If the whole point of that group had been to help, how could she turn her back on a fellow student NOW, despite their differences in the past?

She smiled. "You're right, Mona. Devin is a fellow student. More importantly, a fellow GIRL. And a human being. If she says she wants us there before school, then we need to BE THERE for her!! I'll call Jessi right now, and have her call the others." 'And since Monday is Lax Day, me and the Robotics Club will have ALL DAY to work on the robot once me and the girls help Devin with her problem. All day with Nate.....' 

Mona smiled. "Excellent darling. I knew you'd make the right choice."

Missy grabbed her phone and quickly called Jessi. She answered immediately. "Hey, Jessi. Look, can we get to school early on Monday? Huh? Why? Well, you won't believe this......"

Jessi's POV

"Ok, I'll meet you at your house and we'll walk there together. I don't know what Devin wants, but you're right. She's a fellow girl, and we have to support her in spite of the past. Yes, ok, see you Monday morning."

'What in the WORLD could Devin want with all of us, especially BEFORE school on a Lax Day of all days?', Jessi wondered as she hung up. 

Jessi thought of all the years she had known Devin. The first time she had truly talked to Devin was the day she had invited her to her sleepover, along with Lola and Missy. The night had ended in total disaster. Over the next couple years Devin and Jessi had only talked on and off, only truly collaborating when the girls protested the sexist dress code enforced by the school counselor. Jessi had always been disgusted by Devin's snobby attitude, her misogynistic treatment of her fellow girls, and just her general personality. And Jessi still had a small but ugly scar on her leg from cutting herself shaving her leg hair, which she had only done in the first place because of Devin's remarks about said leg hair. Pretty much Jessi thought of Devin as an all-around bitch. 

However, she remembered, she HAD been disgusted when she had heard about Nick's harassment of Devin, and his subsequent lying and turning the school against her. Bitch or not, Devin was still a fellow girl, and Jessi herself had been angered to discover Nick, her close friend, would stoop so low and hurt a girl that way. Even a girl like Devin. So, if Jessi could at least have a sliver of empathy for Devin THEN, perhaps she should NOW? 'What if it's URGENT? What if she really IS in trouble?' 

Jessi realized that to ignore Devin now, despite the past, would make her a hypocrite. Jessi prided herself as a feminist, and even though Devin pretty much spat in the face of feminism by abusing fellow girls, Jessi could never TRULY call herself a feminist if she ignored her now, especially since it might be a life-or-death situation. 

Jessi picked up her phone and quickly called the other girls after having promised Missy to get the word out to the others.

'i don't know what's so urgent, Devin, but we'll be there for you, even though you'd never do it for US......'

End of chapter 3

Hope y'all are enjoying it so far. I'm actually posting all the chapters up till chapter 11, which I finished just yesterday, so you can read chapter 4 and so on immediately after this. Like I said the story doesn't heading into crossover territory until chapter 5 or 6, so just be patient. As I said it wasn't until the end of chapter 5 that I decided to make it into a crossover, as my original idea for this story wasn't working out. Still I really hope y'all are enjoying it. Be sure to review.