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Sharing DNA	By : GeorgeGlass Category: +G through L > Hamster and Gretel Views: 2719 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Hamster and Gretel or its characters I made no money from writing this story

Chapter List
- 2
- 3
Chapter 3: Give a Flying Fuck
“Oh, querido…” Carolina Grant-Gomez sighed, staring blissfully up at nothing as she lay naked on her bed with her equally naked teenage son lying by her side. “You were magnificent…Such stamina! How I would love to be so young again…”
Kevin felt a swell of pride. Satisfying a fellow teenager like Fred was one thing, but being able to satisfy an adult woman who had a lifetime of sexual experience was quite another.
The boy was trying to think of a way to tell his mom what a hottie she was without using a word as unsophisticated as “hottie” when his phone rang. He snatched his pants up from the floor next to the bed and pulled out the phone.
It was Gretel. Kevin ignored the stirring in his groin as he put the phone to his ear.
“Kevin!” Gretel shouted. “I’m on top of the Totally Tools building downtown. Fistpuncher and The Destructress ambushed me and Hamster, and we’re in real trouble!”
She hung up before Kevin could speak. Which was just as well, considering that their mom was less than a yard away from him.
“Um,” he said, turning to her and riffling through his mental file of prefabricated excuses, “Gretel needs me to, uh, pick her up from Bailey’s house.”
Carolina rolled on her side and looked at him dreamily as she replied, “You’re going to be such a good father someday, mi amor.” She smiled and ran a finger down his bare chest as she added, “You know, I envy the girl you’ll marry…and make babies with.”
Kevin smiled at her. Then he got up, picked up his clothes, and walked as casually as he could manage to the hall bathroom.
Once he closed the door behind him, though, Kevin quickly washed up and threw his clothes on. Then he dashed downstairs and out the front door, leaped into the minivan, and took off.
***
In the sky above downtown, Gretel ducked the billboard that The Destructress had just thrown at her frisbee-style. Then Gretel dodged to the side to avoid Fistpuncher as he flew at her. Hamster was out cold on the roof of the Totally Tools building, forcing Gretel into a two-on-one battle in which she was largely on defense. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep it up.
Suddenly, a metal door on the roof flew open, and Kevin came running out. Fistpuncher and The Destructress both paused to laugh.
“Oh, look,” The Destructress said. “It’s Armor Suit Guy without his armor.”
“So I guess he’s just ‘Guy,’“ Fistpuncher added with a low chuckle.
“I just want to talk!” Kevin called, raising his palms. “I think there’s a solution to this that will make everyone happy.”
Fistpuncher scowled skeptically at Kevin, but The Destructress seemed at least mildly curious. She flew down to stand in front of Kevin, and Fistpuncher grudgingly landed beside her. Gretel, looking a bit banged up, landed next to Kevin.
Kevin hadn’t lied; he did indeed believe that there was a way for all four of them to go away happy. He just needed to keep the twins talking long enough for it to work—assuming that his theory about what had happened to him, Fred, and his mom was correct.
“Look,” Kevin said, “you guys are brother and sister, and you know how weird that can be sometimes. I mean, you live in the same house, you have the same parents, and you’ve had to put up with each other your whole lives.”
The hooded Doctor D’Zire, who had just taken up a position on the roof of another building close by, was watching this scene with great interest.
“Bold move, Kevin,” D’Zire murmured. “Let’s see if it works.”
“Yeah, so?” Fistpuncher said to Kevin.
“So,” Kevin replied, taking a step closer to the twins, “the feelings between a brother and sister can be…complicated. Sometimes you love each other. Sometimes you hate each other. Sometimes you do both at the same time. And sometimes-” He took yet another step closer, putting himself a mere yard away from the twins. “-what you feel makes even less sense than that.”
Fistpuncher’s default facial expressions were anger and confusion, and right now he was wearing both. He ground his fist in his palm, but at the same time, he kept stealing glances at his sister. The Destructress’ face also betrayed mixed emotions—in her case, desire and self-loathing.
Thus, Kevin knew his plan was at least within spitting distance of working; he just needed to give the twins a little nudge in the right direction. Remembering his breathless conversation with Fred in the school stairwell gave him an idea.
“So it would be perfectly normal,” Kevin said, “if the two of you needed to be alone for a while. You know, to…talk things over.”
The Destructress looked at Fistpuncher. Kevin could see in her eyes that desire had won out over self-loathing.
“Y- Yeah,” she said. “Let’s go somewhere and…talk.”
“Uh, yeah,” Fistpuncher replied. “Let’s, let’s do that.” Then the twin villains flew away.
“Well played, young man, well played,” Doctor D’Zire murmured.
Kevin heard a groan and turned around to see Hamster slowly stand up, one paw on his forehead.
“I must have a concussion or something,” the little rodent said groggily. “I’ve got this weird urge to go to the pet store I came from. Among other weird urges.”
“It’s not a concussion,” Kevin replied. “And you should definitely go. You probably need some, uh, family time.”
Not only did Hamster not argue with Kevin, but he became a yellow streak as he zipped away.
“Kevin?” Gretel said, landing in front of Kevin. “I think we need to talk, too. And by ‘talk,’ I mean we should do whatever you meant when you told Fistpuncher and The Destructress to go do it.”
Since he had arrived on the scene, Kevin had deliberately kept his eyes and mind off Gretel for fear that, otherwise, he would be too distracted to carry out his plan to deal with The Destructress and Fistpuncher. But now that this plan had succeeded, he could permit himself to look at his little sister.
He’d always thought Gretel was kind of cute. But now, her cutest features seemed to stand out: her sweet little legs, much of whose length was exposed thanks to her costume’s above-the-knee skirt; her golden hair, which was shining in the sunlight; and her bright-blue eyes. It was her eyes that most drew his attention now—not only for their beauty, but for the desire he could see in them. A desire that looked every bit as intense as Kevin’s own.
“If you want to do what the twins are probably doing,” Kevin said, “we can start by kissing. Not brother-sister kissing—on-the-lips kissing.”
Gretel had been really hoping that was the kind of kissing Kevin meant. So she flew up to Kevin’s height and pressed her lips against his. The first kiss was a mere peck, but as they kissed again, and again, each kiss was more passionate than the last.
“I know this is a weird thing to say,” Gretel gasped after they finished the third kiss, “but can we do this with less clothes on?”
Kevin couldn’t help but reply, “That’s not weird at all. Yeah, let’s.”
Gretel spun around and instantaneously changed back into her street clothes. Then the girl used her super-speed to strip, sending clothes flying everywhere until they littered the rooftop.
“Wait,” Kevin said. “You had to change back into your street clothes and then take them off? How come you couldn’t just-”
Before Kevin could finish speaking, there was a sudden blur of motion around him. In the space of a second, he went from fully dressed to fully naked, and his clothing was scattered around the rooftop with Gretel’s.
“Wow,” Gretel said as she gazed at Kevin’s nude body.
Gretel had always loved Kevin as her big brother. But even before this moment, the little blonde girl had experienced flashes of what felt like non-sisterly feelings toward him. When Gretel was six, she’d had a couple of dreams about the thirteen-year-old Kevin being her boyfriend, and about kissing him under a full moon. She had quite liked those dreams and occasionally let them evolve into daydreams.
By the time she was seven, Gretel had outgrown those fantasies. But as the adolescent Kevin grew taller and more mature (and his voice stopped cracking so often), Gretel nonetheless found herself becoming more aware of Kevin as a boy and not merely as her brother. Now, that awareness was in overdrive.
“You know,” Gretel said, “ever since I got my powers, I’ve been wishing they included X-ray vision so I could get a good look at you naked.”
“Seriously?” Kevin replied. “Why would you want that?”
“Because it’s not fair! You’ve seen me naked!”
“Yeah, when you were three, and Mom and Dad made me help them give you a bath. You look a lot different now.”
Taking this as a compliment, Gretel replied, “I do?” and struck a sexy pose with her hand behind her head.
“Well, sure,” Kevin replied, gazing unabashedly at his little sister’s nude form. “You’re taller now, and you’ve…grown into your body.”
Kevin left unsaid the fact that as a toddler, Gretel had been built like a fire hydrant. Now, she had lost much of that huskiness, but she still retained enough of it that parts of her body looked like they would be very nice to squeeze and fondle.
All of this was getting Kevin aroused. Gretel looked down at his crotch with great interest.
“I’ve only seen your thingy a few times,” she said, “and I’ve never seen it look like that.”
Kevin looked down and saw that his cock was very nearly erect. Then he looked back up at Gretel, who smiled at him.
“I think I like it,” she said. “No, wait—I know I like it.”
Still peering through the binoculars, Doctor D’Zire murmured, “The incest is strong with this one. Even his prepubescent sister can’t resist.”
Gretel again rose up off the ground to be face to face with Kevin, and they kissed. This time, Kevin slid his hand down Gretel’s bare back until he was cupping one of her pudgy little ass cheeks. When he gave it a squeeze, Gretel giggled lustily into his mouth, so he put his other hand on her other little buttcheek and squeezed them both at once. Now Gretel didn’t giggle, but moan. And when Kevin pulled her asscheeks apart to feel them more thoroughly, she moaned louder and, perhaps by instinct, spread her legs. Now, breaking off the kiss and looking down between Gretel’s pale, smooth thighs, Kevin could see her plump, hairless little pussy in detail.
“Kevin,” Gretel breathed, “I wanna do more than this. I wanna do everything. Sex-everything.”
“So do I,” Kevin gasped. “But you’re only nine, and I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You couldn’t hurt me if you tried,” Gretel replied. “I’m indestructible, remember? Whatever you wanna do to me, I can take it.” She wrapped her legs around his middle and gasped, “I wanna take it.”
Kevin felt a surge of excitement when he realized that Gretel was absolutely right: There was no way he could injure her physically. She could injure him, of course, but in his current state of horniness, he was willing to take that risk. Lord knew his cock was, given that it was now erect and poking one of Gretel’s bare thighs.
“Okay then,” Kevin said. “Let’s give this a try.”
Of course, Kevin being Kevin, he couldn’t help but think about the many ways in which this could go wrong—apart from the injurious ones—even as he put the head of his cock between Gretel’s chubby pussylips. What if she still had her hymen? Would it be as unbreakable as the rest of her? And even if she had broken it herself playing sports or kicking villains in the face, what if she was so tight inside that he couldn’t get in?
But when he raised his head and looked into Gretel’s blue eyes, he forgot all his concerns. He was going to get his cock into his hot, eager little sister no matter what it took.
“Shove it in, Kevin!” Gretel exhorted, opening her legs wide. “I wanna know what sex feels like. Especially sex with you!”
Looking at his little sister with big-pupiled eyes, Kevin took hold of the girl’s hips as he breathlessly answered, “You had me at ‘shove it in.’“
And shove he did. Gretel’s prepubescent pussy was tight as anything, but it was also wet enough that most of Kevin’s cockhead went inside on that first push.
“Ah!” Gretel cried. “Omigosh, you’re in me a little! Keep going!”
Kevin pushed again, this time harder and for longer, and Gretel used both her grip on his shoulders and her power of flight to push her whole body against his. As a result, both Kevin and Gretel moaned in pleasure as Kevin’s cock sank into Gretel’s virgin pussy until he hit bottom inside her.
“Oh…wow…Kevin…” Gretel panted. “You’re all the way…in me…and I love it…”
“Me too,” Kevin gasped. “And it’ll be even better once we start fucking.”
“Wow,” Gretel said, thrilled that her brother was not only doing a forbidden thing with her but also using a forbidden word. “Then let’s do that!”
Keeping hold of Gretel’s bare hips, Kevin pushed them slightly backward while pulling his own hips back, as well, until just his cock head was still inside Gretel’s chubby pussy. Then he pulled their pelvises back together, sinking into her again.
“Ooooh, yeahhh…” Gretel moaned.
“Now we just keep doing that, over and over,” Kevin explained, his voice raspy with lust.
“That’s the only thing I wanna do,” Gretel breathed.
Gretel didn’t know what to feel most excited about: how good sex felt, that she was having it with a boy for the first time, or that the boy was Kevin. It hadn’t been very long ago when, to her mind, sex was a goofy, gross thing that grown-ups did and that she and Bailey would laugh about in private. But now, as she reveled in the sensation of Kevin’s cock pushing into her again and again, she understood full well why adults made such a big deal about it. In fact, right now, Gretel could only think of one thing that would make it feel even better.
“Kevin,” she breathed, “let’s fuck faster.” She giggled at using the word, but she was glad to be able to say it to Kevin and mean it in the best sense.
“Yeah,” Kevin murmured. “Faster sounds great.”
Kevin gripped Gretel’s hips a little more firmly, his fingertips sinking into the soft flesh of her cute little ass. Then he thrust into his sister at a quicker pace. The hovering girl picked up her pace, too, causing him to hit bottom inside her again and again. It pleased him that he could do that without hurting her—or himself.
“Kevin…” Gretel panted excitedly, “this feels…amazing…”
“Totally…” Kevin gasped.
“Let’s go…even faster…”
“Okay…”
They fucked more rapidly, and Gretel loved the way it felt to have Kevin’s cock pumping hard in her love tunnel, like she was a hot, roaring engine and he a piston inside it. She was so excited that she couldn’t help but move even faster—so fast that her hips became a blur of motion.
Kevin couldn’t keep up, but he didn’t need to, as Gretel’s super-speed was giving him super-pleasure without him having to move at all. The next thing he knew, he was shouting “AAAAAAAAH!” and shooting his load up into his little sister’s depths. And when Gretel felt her brother’s hot seed flooding her insides, she too cried out “AAAAAAAAH!” and came, as well. Her pussy-muscles squeezed Kevin’s cock hard, but only hard enough to enhance his in-progress climax further and make him shoot even more into Gretel’s womb.
When both siblings’ climaxes finished, Gretel’s whole body went limp, such that she only just managed to throw her arms and legs around Kevin to keep from falling to the ground. Kevin stumbled forward at the sudden addition of weight to his now very relaxed body, but after taking a few steps he managed to regain his balance.
“That was…incredible…” Gretel panted in his ear. “Now I know…what the big deal is…about sex…”
“Yeah,” Kevin breathed. “It’s definitely…a big deal…”
“Especially with…the right person…” Gretel replied.
Now that their attention wasn’t entirely focused on having sex with each other, Kevin and Gretel could hear a racket from several blocks away. Down by the docks, a shipping container was rattling, shaking, and clanging madly. Periodically, a new bulge would suddenly appear on one of the container’s corrugated-metal sides as something powerful dented it from within.
With a drunken chuckle, Gretel said, “I guess Fistpuncher and The Destructress are having the same ‘talk’ we did.” Kevin chuckled, too.
The orgasm had taken the edge off Kevin’s lust. But now, feeling his sister’s cute, naked little body against his and seeing the satisfied smile on her face made him think that there was more he wanted to do with the indestructible girl. The thought put the edge right back on.
“Want to keep up the, uh, conversation?” he asked Gretel. “We could try doing it a different way.”
The dreamily sagging girl perked up. “Sure!”
Kevin was thinking about his liaison with Fred in the school library, and something he’d become curious about as a result of it. Now, emboldened by Gretel’s enthusiastic response, Kevin said, “Good. ‘Cause you’ve got this cute little butt, and I want to try fucking it.”
Her brow furrowing, Gretel said, “How would you fuck my-” Then her eyebrows rose. “Wait, you mean in my butthole?”
“Uh-huh. You wanna find out what that feels like?”
“Well…” Gretel replied, tapping her chin and looking pensively upward, “…you know what, I kinda do.” She looked at Kevin and went on, “I mean, when you pulled my butt open when we were kissing, I really liked that.”
“Awesome!”
“But first I guess we’ve gotta get you good and hard again,” Gretel said, gazing down at Kevin’s semi-flaccid member. Then she grinned and added, “And I know a way to do it that most girls couldn’t.”
“That is both exciting and scary,” Kevin replied.
“Check this out.”
Gretel rose up into a hover and turned her body horizontally so that her face was right in front of Kevin’s crotch. Then she used one hand to put her brother’s cock in her mouth. She suckled it gently.
“Mmm, nice…” Kevin said.
He wondered what Gretel had meant about doing something other girls couldn’t. Maybe just that she could give him a blowjob without touching the ground?
And then Gretel began to turn in the air, like a pig roasting on a spit. Her lips rotated around Kevin’s cockshaft, but more importantly, the flat of her tongue circled around his glans, stimulating him very pleasurably.
She sped up her rotation little by little, and Kevin’s cock grew ever harder. Finally, when she had reached a rotational speed that Kevin might have compared to that of a clothes dryer, Gretel abruptly stopped and released his cock—now fully hard—from her mouth.
“Hee hee, that was kinda fun,” the dizzy girl said, running her hand through her wild blonde hair to smooth it down as she turned her body upright again.
“It was definitely fun for me,” Kevin said. “How did you even think of doing that?”
With a goofy grin, Gretel replied, “I’ve heard that expression about having ‘lead in your pencil,’ so I decided to be your pencil sharpener.”
Kevin chuckled. “Well, now that I’ve got plenty of lead, we need some lubricant, because your butthole doesn’t get itself wet like your pussy does. But I mean the kind of lubricant that’s made for sex, not bike chains.”
“No problem!” Gretel replied.
The floating girl suddenly vanished in a streak of movement. Then, mere seconds later, she reappeared with a pink tube in her hand and held it out to Kevin.
“‘Lola’s Love Lube,’“ he read aloud. “This ought to work. But where’d you get it?”
“The pharmacy. I was moving too fast for anyone to see me. And don’t worry, I left money in the register.”
“How did you have money on you? You’re buck naked.”
“I stopped by home first.”
“Wow. Your super-speed is really on point today.”
“Thanks!”
“Speaking of which, you want to grab something soft we can do this on? Standing up is fine and all, but-”
There was a blur of motion, and within seconds, Gretel’s bed was there on the roof.
“Yup. On point,” Kevin said, nodding.
“I was gonna bring your bed,” Gretel said, “but it wouldn’t fit out the window.”
“This will definitely work. Just get on all fours on the bed.”
“Okay!”
Gretel leaped onto the bed, landing on her hands and knees. Then she looked back at Kevin while he moved around behind her and squirted some lube onto his fingers.
“I could put the lube on me,” Kevin said, “but it’ll probably be more fun for both of us if I put it on you instead.”
With Gretel grinning at him, Kevin smeared some of the lube on Gretel’s little pink asshole. Then, gently, he pushed his finger inside. Gretel giggled and said, “That feels weird.”
Kevin pushed his finger in a little deeper, then took it out and got on his knees behind Gretel, saying, “This might feel weirder.”
“I wanna find out, though,” Gretel replied.
“Okay. Here goes.”
He put his cockhead against her little hole and pushed. The hole opened as far as it had for his finger, but no farther, even when he pushed harder.
“Uh,” Kevin said, “I need you to relax.”
“Oh. Yeah. Okay,” Gretel said.
Gretel took a deep breath and let it out. Then she felt Kevin push, and his cock began to go inside.
“Ohhh…” Gretel sighed.
“Wow,” Kevin breathed, continuing to push slowly but steadily into Gretel. “You’re even tighter back here…”
“Uh-huh…” Gretel replied, closing her eyes.
Kevin pushed all the way in, until his pubis was pressed against the split of Gretel’s cute ass. Then he started pushing his cock slowly in and out. The snug, steely grip of Gretel’s little pink hole around his member felt amazing. He kept slowly thrusting for more than a minute before he spoke.
“So,” Kevin breathed on his next push inside, “how do you like it?”
“It’s…” Gretel replied, “it’s like…jackfruit chips…”
Kevin paused his slow thrusts as he raised an eyebrow. “How is getting it up the butt like jackfruit chips?”
“Because,” the girl sighed, “the first time I ate one, I thought it was weird. But pretty soon, I started to like them. And after a while, I couldn’t get enough.”
“Ahhhh, okay,” Kevin replied, resuming his slow thrusts. “I’ll just keep going, then.”
“Yeah,” the girl said dreamily. “Definitely keep going…”
Kevin kept pumping Gretel’s ass slowly, savoring the tight, slick grip of her anal ring around his member. He wondered if Fred or his mom would like this as much as Gretel did, because he was suddenly very interested in trying it with them, too. The thought was arousing enough that Kevin started to fuck Gretel faster.
“Ooooh, yeah,” Gretel moaned, starting to move her ass in time with his hips. “Faster is better.”
Gretel would have had a hard time explaining in words why she liked this so much. It had something to do with the way Kevin’s cock made her feel full inside. And that it was Kevin’s cock making her feel full inside. There was also something she liked about the way his balls collided softly with her sex each time her brother thrust in.
She wanted to savor this magnificent moment, but she also wanted more, and harder, and deeper. She compromised by increasing the speed at which she thrust her bottom against Kevin’s hips, but not to a superhuman degree. She wanted to fuck Kevin, but she wanted Kevin to fuck her, too. And just as she had hoped, her brother picked up his fuck-pace. Now his hips were audibly slapping her ass each time he thrust in.
“Oh, God…Gretel…” the teenager moaned. “If we keep going…this hard…I’m gonna shoot inside you…”
Gretel had very much enjoyed the sensation of Kevin’s hot seed shooting up inside her love tunnel, and somehow the idea of him shooting it up her ass seemed even more exciting. So she picked up her pace just a little more as she gasped, “Yes…do it in my ass…”
Gretel’s obvious excitement enhanced Kevin’s excitement, too. So Kevin fucked his little blonde sister’s ass as hard as humanly possible, grunting with every thrust and holding on to Gretel’s waist as though for dear life.
“Yes!” Gretel cried. “Fuck me! FUCK MY ASS!”
She came hard, and her asshole squeezed the base of Kevin’s cock so forcefully that he couldn’t move it at all, lube or no lube. But that didn’t matter, because hearing and feeling his little sister climax so powerfully had him yelling, “YAAAAH!” and shooting hot cum deep in her bowels.
Gretel collapsed onto the bed, and Kevin collapsed on top of her. His cock remained buried in her ass, which seemed to heighten both Gretel’s and Kevin’s post-orgasmic bliss.
“Awesome…” Gretel panted. “That…was…awesome…”
“Really…awesome…” Kevin managed.
Gretel took a moment to catch her breath, then said, “I think I’m good for now, but can we do it more later? Like a lot more?”
Kevin, who liked this idea very much, replied, “We can do it all we want. As long as Mom and Dad don’t catch us.”
“Good thing we’re already experts at keeping secrets from them.”
Kevin’s cock was going soft now, so he pulled out of Gretel and rolled over onto his back, scootching sideways a little so as not to fall off Gretel’s small bed. Kevin’s bare feet hung off the bottom, but at the moment, he was fine with that. Gretel rolled over, too, and now that the siblings were on their backs, they saw the words FUCK MY ASS hanging above the bed in large, floral-print letters.
“Whoops!” Gretel said, her face reddening. “Can’t leave those hanging around.” She quickly rose into the air and swatted the letters out of existence.
The sibs had just finished putting their clothes back on when Hamster descended onto the rooftop. Kevin realized that he wasn’t hearing those banging sounds from the shipping container anymore and figured Hamster might be the reason why.
“Where are Fistpuncher and The Destructress?” Kevin asked the rodent hero.
“I let ‘em finish,” Hamster replied, “then wrapped ‘em up in a girder and took ‘em to jail.” He eyed Kevin as he finished, “You humans are freaks.”
“Oh yeah? And what exactly went down at the pet shop?” Kevin retorted.
Hamster looked around for a moment, as if searching for words. Then he said, “Uh, I think I left the air fryer on” and streaked away.
“Do we even have an air fryer?” Gretel asked Kevin.
***
Kevin and Gretel, now in the minivan, were stopped at a red light when Kevin got a text. He glanced down at his phone where it sat in one of the van’s cup holders. The message was from Fred.
Our study session in the library was tight. Let’s study again soon.
Kevin glanced over at Gretel, who was looking right back at him with a dreamy half-smile.
Wow, he thought. A lot can change in one day.
Not that he minded.
***
Twenty-four hours earlier
It was beat poetry night at the Take It Black coffee house, and Fred was using a brief intermission to visit the cafe’s unisex restroom. The night’s poems had been interesting so far; Fred always enjoyed hearing other people’s takes on the pointlessness of life.
Fred was about to head into a stall when she heard an odd voice—electronically disguised, she realized—muttering inside the handicap stall. Fred stopped to listen.
“It’s the perfect plan,” the voice was muttering. “When I release my incest nanovirus at the bank, everyone inside will be instantly gripped by a desperate need to have sex with someone with whom they share DNA. It’s very unlikely that any of the bank’s employees are related, so within moments, the vaults will be unguarded. Then I, Doctor D’Zire, will be rich!”
That was as much monologue as Fred needed to hear. She kicked the stall door open and found a figure in a gas mask and a white-and-tan hooded bodysuit kneeling on the floor in front of an open duffel bag. Inside the bag were a canister labeled “Incest Nanovirus v2.7” and some kind of electric blower attached to a hose.
The man turned his head in surprise—just in time for Fred to clock him in the temple with her purse, which had a thick hardback collection of poetry inside. The man was instantly knocked out.
“That was for planning to rob a bank,” Fred said to the unconscious villain.
She took a pair of zip ties out of her purse—she always carried a few of them these days—and bound the man’s wrists and ankles together as she added, “And this is for planning it in the handicapped stall. There are actual disabled people who come to this coffee house, you know.”
This guy was obviously a supervillain, if a lame one, so Fred thought that perhaps she should call Kevin. But thinking of Kevin and looking at Doctor D’Zire’s gear gave her another, much different idea. So she dragged the man into the bathroom’s janitorial closet, figuring she could find a payphone to anonymously call the cops on him later. Then she pulled off his hooded costume and picked up his duffel bag.
“Hmmm, do I take his gas mask, too?” she wondered aloud.
Then she shook her head. “Nah. It’ll be more fun without it.”
- - -
Many thanks to Fairy Slayer for his diligent beta-reading!
Author notes:
The title, “Sharing DNA,” is a double entendre. Kevin shares DNA with Fred, Carolina, and Gretel in the sense that they are biologically related, but he also shares his reproductive DNA with them by ejaculating inside them.
The Totally Tools building is a reference to Phineas and Ferb, another Dan Povenmire cartoon that is set in the same universe as Hamster and Gretel.
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Sharing DNA