That Gleam in Her Eye
A Whole New Direction
Joy awoke on the floor near the back wall of Headquarters. Sadness Anger, Disgust, and Fear were all standing nearby, looking down at her.
“Wow, guys,” Joy said, sitting up, “that was amazing! Orgasms are the best.”
“So…” Fear said hesitantly, “are you…feeling better now?”
“Better?” Joy said, getting to her feet. “I feel great!”
Oblivious to the looks the other emotions were exchanging with one another, Joy went on, “Man, and if that’s what having orgasms by ourself feels like, imagine what it’ll be like to have them with boys! Hey, we should try to get Josh Ramirez to make out with us under the bleachers tomorrow”—she smiled wickedly—”and do a little under-the-clothes stuff…maybe more than a little. Oooh, we should send him a naked selfie! That’ll get his attention. Or maybe we could sneak into the boys’ locker room and-”
“Yeah, um, Joy?” Fear interrupted. “We’re not going to do any of that.”
Joy turned and looked at him, the gleam in her eye turning fierce. “Fear,” she said, advancing on him, “are you actually trying to stand up to me?”
“Yes I am,” Fear said, standing his ground. “Because you know what scares me more than you? The things that are going to happen to us if you keep acting like this. Pregnancy! STDs! Viral video, Joy, viral video! So we’re going to need to put someone else in charge until that gleam in your eye dims down a little.”
Disgust, squatting down, quickly drew a chalk circle around Joy’s feet.
“This,” she said, “is the Circle of Joy.”
“Oh, come on!” Joy shouted. “I invented that trick!”
Sadness, who had shuffled over to the console, pushed a large blue button on it. Instantly, vertical steel bars descended from the ceiling and planted themselves in the floor around the circumference of the circle, caging Joy inside.
“We changed it a little,” Sadness said.
Fear, turning to the others and sighing with relief at the sight of Joy securely incarcerated, said, “Okay, guys, we need to take this adolescence thing in a whole new direction. Any ideas?”
“Totally,” said Disgust. “First, we join the Cool Girls.”
“Hmm,” Fear began. “That might be a good-”
“Then we destroy their evil regime from within,” Disgust continued. “Then we blog about it.”
“Yeahhh, that sounds risky,” said Fear. “Other suggestions?”
“I say we deal with our adolescent turmoil in the hockey rink,” Anger opined, smacking his fist into his palm. “I can think of a dozen players from other junior highs who are just begging to get body-checked into next week. Let's OWN that penalty box!”
“Hmm,” Fear replied, “...that's...even worse than the Cool Girls thing. Sadness, thoughts?”
“Well...” Sadness said, “we could...wear a lot of black, and...write poems about how terrible life is.”
Disgust and Anger appeared to have been poised to slam whatever disturbingly grim idea Sadness might come up with, but now they looked intrigued.
“Hey, that's not bad,” said Disgust. “With poetry, we could express our contempt for everything.”
“I like it,” Anger said, nodding. “It'll drive Mom and Dad nuts, but they can't punish us for it!”
“And it sounds very safe,” Fear added. Then, sweeping his arm toward the console, he said, “All right, Sadness, you're our new leader! The console is yours.”
“But guys!” Joy shouted desperately, gripping the bars of her cage. “What about all the fun we're going to miss? I mean, think about it! Shopping for slutty clothes, flirting with cute boys, making out with cute boys, going to popular-kid parties—do you really want to miss out on all those fun party games? Spin the Bottle! Truth or Dare! Seven Minutes in Heaven! No One Leaves a Virgin! Okay, I made that last one up, but I'm already thinking up some rules, and-”
Sadness hit a button on the console, and a thick cylinder of clear thermoplastic slammed down around the outside of Joy's cage, rendering her inaudible.
“Good one, Sadness,” Fear said. “So, what's our first move?”
“Um,” Sadness replied, “let's see...we're going to need to buy a beret...and some black eye-shadow...”
Flipping her hair, Disgust said, “I am so on board with this.”
“Sadness saves the day again!” Anger exclaimed.
Now caged and silenced, Joy petulantly folded her arms and sat down on the floor. Then she flipped them all the bird as hard as she possibly could.
No one noticed.
- - -
Thanks for reading! If you are so good as to leave a review, I'll respond to it here: http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/60515-review-responses-for-that-gleam-in-her-eye-inside-out/
-George